Maine man leases his rotary phone for more than six hundred months at $4.45 a month. Any investment advisors out there to say what he would have made in conservative stock investments?	(16)
		Meditators claim their vibrations will boost stock market above 17,000, create utopia	(57)
		Bank issues their customer service representatives a manual that explains how to hardball customers into giving up on their effort to seek refunds for bank overcharges unless they are "very ill or dying"	(173)

		Government plan to build more affordable homes blocked by homebuilders who make more money slapping up million-dollar McMansions on 40-foot lots	(143)
(Some Guy)		Disney drops plan for Mickey Mouse wine. Surly, Remorseful and Sleazy unavailable for comment	(47)
		If we want to produce green energy on a large scale, we need businessmen in addition to scientists to push the technology forward. Or we can do what the Chinese do and add green food coloring to regular energy	(9)
		Indian offshore firm plans 1,000-employee center in Atlanta. Wait...What?	(26)
		Shell Oil is making $3,000,000 an hour - from us	(23)

		Those evil Democrats are responsible for the declining stock market, crashing housing market, and for killing your childhood pet	(177)
		After yesterday's sell-off, Dow continues to slide	(24)
		Economy growth is best in a year. Suck it, libs	(322)
		Have you heard how simply driving a new car off the lot reduces the price by 25 percent? It's a myth	(205)

		Yesterdays News: $100 a barrel oil coming. Todays news: Oil down to $70 a barrell, Exxon Mobil stock drops 5%. Entertainment News: Jessica Alba is newly single. Farkers really only care about one of these	(10)
		Official "stock market continues to freefall" thread. What's in your wallet?	(318)
		Remember how in 2002 we were laughing at those guys who bought business.com for $7 million? Yeah, they just sold it for $345 million	(74)
		Exxon reports fourth largest earnings ever. Why can't they have all-time record profits every quarter?	(140)
		Apple stock up 7% at the open. So much for all those "tanking" threads	(21)
		Ford's accounting office calls office printer technician, is shocked to discover that all that black ink was not an error	(85)
		Republicans were all for the Farm Bill that would help struggling farmers and bolster the food stamp program - until they found out that it was going to be paid for by taxing US companies who hide profits in offshore subsidiaries	(80)
		Digg fires Google, hires some young upstart firm for its advertising	(99)

(NBC 15)		If you're the SBA and you have a backlog of 12,000 loan approvals waiting to be processed do you? 1. Work harder on getting them processed 2. Hire more workers to get through the backlog 3. Cancel all 12,000 loans and say you are caught up	(42)
(Bloomberg)		Oil to hit $100 a barrel in a few months. EVERYBODY PANIC	(122)
(Some Guy)		Chinese pirates busted with $500 million of software. L Matey	(97)
(Some Guy)		AMD plans on increasing system memory over the next two years, making the bold assumption that they will exist for another two years	(46)
		Remember when Dubya's brother Neil helped rape the country out of $1.4 trillion in the S&L scandal? Well, thanks to pension reforms we now have $16.5 trillion in 401(k)'s	(24)
		Adult business no longer allowed to disturb the dead	(47)
(KCRG News)		Step 1: Hire consultant to lower expenses by $2.9 million. Step 2: ????? Step 3: Pay Consultant $3.4 million (Profit?)	(19)
		Chrysler tells its dealers: "You wanna work here - close. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you [expletive deleted]? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave"	(53)
		New York Times quarterly profit rises. Funny, I thought they were all commies over there	(3)
		Nintendo profit ducks, holds down A, jumps five-fold	(19)
		Oil soars past $74 on news that Rob Schneider went on the Tonight Show dressed as Lindsay Lohan and was actually funny	(13)
		Newsweek heralds the business opportunities in "Second Life." Meanwhile, Wired is running an article calling the sex-soaked virtual world a wasteland	(25)
		The fine print on the XM-Sirius merger proposal makes the whole thing look a whole lot less appetizing	(45)
(Rutland Herald)		Not news: Pirating music is illegal. Still not news: Man sued for downloading music. Fark: It was "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell	(133)
		Sales of existing homes fell 3.8 percent on news that you're still living in your parent's basement	(3)
		Well, Apple is tanking and Netflix has dropped, but Amazon's stock is performing almost twice as well as expected	(22)
		"It is not up to a pizza company to set morals for children, it's up to the parents"	(65)
		Blockbuster lays the smackdown on Netflix	(58)

(Some Loonie)		Canadians don baggy pants and platform shoes as dollar hits 0.964134 USD, a value not seen since early 1977. Play that funky music, white north boy	(106)
		Foreclosures up 551 percent over last year in San Diego. That's not a bubble, that's foam	(207)
		Dow Jones Industrial Average loses over 200 points on news that you can't have a $300,000 mortgage, pay $875 a month, and get away with it for very long	(160)
		Newspaper reports that airfares kept low because of... the Wrath of Kahn?	(130)
		For only the second time in history, McDonald's posts a loss for the quarter. Maybe now they'll put the transfat back in the fries and make 'em taste good again	(262)
		Starbucks to raise prices from expensive to "You paid WHAT for a coffee drink with whipped cream?"	(212)
		Apple stock tumbles on news that the iPhone sales sucks. Much like the iPhone itself	(396)

		Mercedes-Benz stock triples on news that, effective Tuesday, minimum wage workers will bring home an additional $0.70 an hour	(241)
		XM and Sirius announce plans for a la carte pricing that would be available if the FCC would get off their fat asses and approve the damn merger already	(141)
		Canned ramen noodles now available since it is obviously a serious hardship to rip the little orange packages open and toss the noodle brick into hot water	(213)
		Wal-Mart to cut back-to-school prices in order to: A) Offset rising gas prices for families, B) Put the squeeze on competition, or C) Get free advertising throughout mass media	(33)
		American Standard to be flush with cash after selling bathroom unit	(12)
		BP gets fined $92,000 over Texas refinery blast in 2005 that killed 15 and injured 180. Well, that should really teach them a lesson	(18)
		Foreign investors have more control over the U.S. economy than Americans	(15)