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Sun July 31, 2011
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(IBD)
 
 
 
Department of Justice threatening banks with legal action if they don't start lending money to people that can't afford to pay it back. This will end...just as well as it did last time
source: investors.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Mexican drug cartel has an opening for a hit man manager. Job requires people skills, must be able to shoot both right and left handed
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Hilton hotel guest makes federal case over 75 cent newspaper charge
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Women desperately hope that new bra which makes you three cup sizes larger is not a complete bust
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat July 30, 2011
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
These are some nice tax incentives you got here Boston Scientific. Shame if something were to happen to them
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Local hair products maker defeats Wal-Mart. You gotta like the cut of this guy's jib
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Step 1: Prevent people from claiming unemployment. Step 2: Deny their claim because they were unable to file. Step 3: Profit
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Rats leaving on news that ship is burning, sinking
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Carl Icahn may add $600 million more in his effort to take over Clorox. Officials still wondering if the money is laundered
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Whole Foods announces 35% jump in third quarter profits. The rich continue to laugh at your economic downturn
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
France advances
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Court allows Big Pharma to patent selected bits of you. No word yet on licencing fees for personal use of DNA
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri July 29, 2011
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Job creators at Boston Scientific announce 1,200 job cuts a day after disclosing plans to invest $150 million and hire 1,000 people in China
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Iowa credit union says if Congress doesn't raise the debt ceiling, it will offer interest-free loans to members. Yeah, it's a shameless PR stunt, but still
source: blogs.desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Amish investors, Playboy bunnies, Kato Kaelin, the National Lampoon, a $1.8 million car and a Ponzi scheme all in one story
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Welcome to Costco, I love you*. *Costco only loves you if you are a legal citizen
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
NYC's best summer job: tanning concierge...which is referred to as such since "melanoma consultant" and "guidosity solutions provider" were considered too accurate
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Presenting the world's only website to contain the phrase "I was at a Long John Silvers' convention in the late 70's"
source: colonelsanders.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Raise your hand if your country has a AAA credit rating. NOT SO FAST THERE, America
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
GDP does not sound fat
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Merck to cut 12% of workforce, deepen savings, and pass the cost on to you
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Wall Street to Netflix: Drop dead. Netflix to Wall Street: Buffering
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Apple's earning power angers, infuriates analysts
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Starbucks to expand its crimes against coffee
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you picked a few weeks before Spotify to get sued over a 16 year old patent. Come and claim your digital download
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"The Best Airlines for 5 Types of Fliers." Because, you know, airlines are all about offering customers choice these days
source: smartmoney.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Y'all forgot about platinum
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Yelp decides to get in the tech derp game. Analysts threaten to give it bad reviews if they aren't given special treatment
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
McDonald's will kill one local Chinese business every 24 hours until their demands are met
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"...The situation facing all financial markets heading into a weekend ... could prove to be one of the most crucial in history " And that's the good news
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
We've reached the point where a single corporation has more cash on hand than the operating balance of the whole US government. Bow and worship, iPeasants
source: appleinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Ready-to-eat chicken sold at Dollar General stores has been recalled. One hopes this doesn't affect the impeccable reputation for high food standards Americans have come to expect from Dollar General
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu July 28, 2011
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Illinois to start selling advertising space on state issued license plates. Snow Crash begins
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Advisers tell investors not to sell. It's like that scene from "Braveheart" where Mel Gibson shouts "HOLD... HOLD... HOOOOOOOOOOOOOLD," but only more economical
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Aflac rally puts shine on financial sector, no thanks to Gilbert Gottfried
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Credit Suisse cuts 2,000 to 'sell'
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Job site Monster in the black as more and more people are in the red
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Yo Mama so fat, when she turns around, Wisconsin throws her a welcome back party
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Hyundai's profits up 37% after quake Fukushimas Japan. Best Korea begins work on its own quake program
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
This is what's called a 'leading indicator.' And this one is not good
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
America's best cities for young professionals. Let me save you a click: It can be anywhere with a McDonald's, Burger King, Hardees, etc
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
BASF. We don't make the stocks you buy, we make them less valuable
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
This just in: The economy is still farked
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
After recently reducing sodium level in its soups, Campbell's now raising it back. Company says that with the ineptitude we're seeing in Washington, American's blood pressure can't go any higher
source: theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Groupon's accounting lingo undergoing scrutiny with 10 SEC investigators for the price of 4
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Bristol Myers raises profit forecast. Squibb pro row
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
That vacant foreclosed house on the corner? Expect it to be empty for 60 months
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Homebuilder misses estimates
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Homebuilder beats estimates
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Important Media)
 
 
 
United States considering a ban on trade with Iceland. Americans now wonder where they're going to get quality walrus blubber
source: planetsave.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
What happens when wages don't grow faster than inflation? If you had consumer credit explodes, step forward and claim your debt bubble
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed July 27, 2011
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Almost 40% of Android consumers are too stupid to use the phone, versus 98.3% of iPhone buyers who are too stupid to know about a return policy
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Wanker)
 
 
 
Porn group AIM gets a money shot, a new screen name and will once again test pornstars, your mom, every 5,000 sex acts and track the STDs
source: dailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Duncan Banner)
 
 
 
Halliburton: Sorry for poisioning you for the last 45 years. Here's some free water...we cool? Residents: Nah, not really. Have you met our new friend ERIN BROCKOVICH?
source: duncanbanner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PCWorld)
 
 
 
Walmart begins selling streaming video, wireless pork rinds
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
That surprise buttsecks you just experienced was gas prices starting to rise again
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
"The US has just entered a 500-day retail recession"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
That durable goods uptick for May proves not-so-durable, and June was worse
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
British Gas fined £2.5 million for failing to deal with customer complaints correctly. In other news, Kabletown just broke another 5000 'service' windows with a smile
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
SEC creates a super awesome 1-800-TIPS-NOW line to catch the next Madoff. Leave off the W because the SEC is too busy wanking to porn to actually try to find the next Madoff themselves
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Tupperware burps out another great quarter
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Employee pay set to rise to a pittance. To be paid in 20 equal installments of 1/20th of a pittance
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Moody's up 56%. UPGRADE
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Google's stock is going to plaid speed. How ludicrous
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
BofA donates, then demolishes houses to cut glut, reflect dreams
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Following their IPO, Dunkin' Donuts could become bigger than Starbucks. Meanwhile, Starbucks cries salty tears into their bitter burned coffee
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Bohner fights gonads and strife on debt plan. WHEEEEEEEEE
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Kenyan tea production drops 16% in the 1st half amid drought. Like it or not, that's pretty steep
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philanthropy.com)
 
 
 
Shriners to end tradition of free care for all at their hospitals, will continue their silly-car and weird-hat traditions
source: philanthropy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Partial FAA shutdown drags into fourth day with 4000 furloughed employees. Pilots calling air traffic control tower now getting answering machine
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Been unemployed for a while? Want a job? Sucks to be you
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue July 26, 2011
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Canadian kilobuck up thanks to US debt debacle
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
A credit downgrade would cost the US $100 billion a year, aka Chump Change you can believe in
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fuel Fix)
 
 
 
Those evil bastards at Exxon are at it again. They are going to spend $400 billion on two new tankers that will employ 1,000 shipyard workers
source: fuelfix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
China's pork prices fall for first time since April... at least I *think* that's pork
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Dairy prices are milking it
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox Business)
 
 
 
President Obama secretly tells banks: We're not defaulting. Wink, wink
source: foxbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(yomiuri.co.jp)
 
 
 
Effects of cesium beef fiasco hit meat industry. Band name of the year?
source: yomiuri.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Just two weeks after announcing a price adjustment that angered many customers, Netflix comes out with a weaker-than-anticipated earnings outlook
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In what would be a very crappy move, the largest county in Alabama is getting ready to declare bankruptcy over a $3 billion debt for its sewer system. It would be the largest in U.S. history
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
George Soros to retire from hedge fund managing career, will work full time on secretly running Democratic party and destroying America
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
New home sales probably stagnated. All right Bloomberg, it used to be cute that you couldn't make up your mind on the economy. It's not even funny anymore, now it's just tragic
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Before you go on that rant about government spending, maybe you should take a look in the mirror first
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ITWorld)
 
 
 
Blockbuster capitalizes on Netflix's ill-advised price hike by offering a competing service for $2 more per month
source: itworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Ford profit up 22%. CHECK ENGINE
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Despite the terrible job market, one state has bucked all national trends and managed to add half the total jobs created in America last June: Texas. President Perry: say it, accept it, love it
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation has discovered that you should hold a vigil for those poor, pitiful, penniless rich people. Won't someone pray for them?
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Well just a second there, professor. We uh, we fixed the *glitch*. So STMicro won't be receiving a paycheck anymore
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Glaxo revenue drops on news your mom isn't as diabeetusy or virusy as before
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Under Armour profits up, the company admitted in a brief conference call today
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
You'll be pleased to know that BP has fully recovered from that business in the Gulf, still waiting on Pelican Brief
source: green.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Investors have no idea what the hell the debt limit is, or what those crazy people in D.C. are talking about. Futures point to higher open
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
UBS profits down 50% on news that Apple's thunderbolt cable is the future. Tag is for that last statement
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Hershey profits nearly double, assuming the accountant didn't fudge the numbers
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
A pox on both of your dollars
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Amazon profits drop on poor snoo snoo outlook
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
IMF tells US that wandering around not raising the debt ceiling is no way to go through life, son
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Prescription drug prices set to fall as patients expire, I mean patents expire
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon July 25, 2011
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Now that General Motors, Ford and Chrysler are making money again, guess who wants a bigger piece. Go ahead, guess
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Gold rush at Klondike River. This is not a repeat from 1896
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Forbes releases Fortune 500 from every year back to 1955. Hmm, let's take a look... makes sense, makes sense, makes sense... wait, really? The Vienna Sausage company?
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Financial Times)
 
 
 
Who run Bartertown? China and Iran plan to run Bartertown
source: ft.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Patent trolls are killing innovation, but are great for lawyers
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Your app helps people find homes to vacation in? That is worth $1 billion. Welcome to .dot com bubble 2.0
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
From bricks to clicks: How a company run by pricks is failing at the online game
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Moody's cuts Greece a new backdoor
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
GOLD, Jerry, GOLD
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Rich people make poor use of their money, according to this link you paid $5/month to click
source: news.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Flour aid for Best Korea. What for? There's no fat people there
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Banks are adopting the old tried, and true "borrow from Peter to pay Paul" method to get out of debt
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Honk if you love free money
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Research In Motion, the primary maunfacturer of BlackBerry devices, lays off 2,000 workers. This headline sent via my iPhone
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(bankrate.com)
 
 
 
Some HOA geniuses in the Foreclosure State have found yet another loophole to exploit. Morans
source: bankrate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bohner says "we are almost out of runway" on the debt talks. I just wanted to tell you both good luck, we're all counting on you
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dave McElroy)
 
 
 
Man listens to two hours of people trashing business, stands up, says "I was going to open a mine that paid 125 people $50,000 to $150,000 a year, but after listening to all of you I'm just quitting. See ya"
source: davidmcelroy.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Kimberly-Clark up 8%. That's nothing to sneeze at, but they have you covered if you do
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Special edition DVD of Sarah Palin's "Undefeated" to get nationwide media rollout. Just kidding - it will be sold only in Walmart
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ann arbor.com)
 
 
 
University of Michigan football stadium now available for weddings, with one-hour ceremony on 50 yard line for $6,000. Event planners call it doing the ultimate hitch pattern
source: annarbor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
A goodbye letter from the CEO of Borders
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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