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Sun January 25, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
In these testing economic times, if you're serious about getting a job, you'll need to pump your face full of botox
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
HJ Heinz to be acquired by Kraft or Unilever once credit markets become unstuck and start slowly, slowly flowing again
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
While the rest of the country argues over Yucca Mountain, one state is simply making a half square mile, 70 foot tall open air pile of radioactive waste
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Unintended problem of putting massive Airbus A380 into service? It completely shuts down airports as large as LAX so it has space to land
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Gordon F*cking Ramsey's f*cking restaurant empire is in deep f*cking sh*t
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
Hello and welcome to the Jack-in-the-Box drive-thru. My name is Rajiv, I mean, Bob. How may I take your order please?
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Union blocks unemployed bricklayer from taking job, as he had been unemployed for eight months and thus was no longer a union member
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
SEC set to investigate Apple and the past year of "Steve Jobs is sick, not sick, dead, alive, only a flesh wound, cured, dead, sick again". In other news, Steve Jobs is too sick to comment, wait he's cured, oh he's sick again
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Video Professor urges Obama to fix housing debacle, try his product
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Newly laid-off white-collar workers proving age-old maxim: Those who can, do. Those who can't, teach
source: business.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 24, 2009
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Ontario Premier "Iron Balls" McGuinty considers harmonizing sales tax, juggling cats
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Starbucks to lay off another thousand people, or possibly send them to work at the Starbucks across the street
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In the first concession to modern dress codes since opening as a speakeasy in 1922, ties for men at the hallowed '21' Club in NYC are now optional. EVERYBODY HABERDASH
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
March, 2008: Freddie Mac is "well capitalized." November 2008: "Um, we're totally well capitalized, but give us $14B just to be safe." Today: "HALP GIEV ME MOAR MONEY LIKE $30-35B PLZ"
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Scottish-sounding distillery with Scottish-sounding CEO in Scottish-sounding town in province named after Scotland wins lawsuit against Scottish whisky makers who say their new whiskey sounds too Scottish. Everyone take a drink
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Meet the man who made $3.7 billion betting on the complete collapse of the financial system. Here come the calls for his head
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 23, 2009
(CBC)
 
 
 
Lobster industry feeling pinch of recession, trying to claw back to profitabilty, you submitted this with lemon juice and a butter headline
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
COBRA is too pricey for many laid off workers. Their only hope is G.I. Joe
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsarama)
 
 
 
Alfred E. Neuman starts to worry a bit, MAD magazine goes quarterly
source: newsarama.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Still hoping to retire one day? Don't get your hopes up
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Fruit grower uses bagpipes to scare fruit bats away from orchard, annoy neighbors across countryside
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Hey, Capital One. What's in your wallet? Answer: $1.4 billion less than last quarter
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
GE profit falls 46%, contemplate selling off Sheinhardt Wig Company in order to drum up capital
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cape - Gazette)
 
 
 
CNBC explains the "green" economy: "The Whole Country Needs A Bong Break"
source: alleyinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After signing on as CEO of Yahoo for an offer reportedly around $38Mil, Carol Bartz does the responsible thing in this time of economic uncertainty....She freezes the salaries of everyone
source: tech.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
If you're planning a week-long series of promotional events to boost tourism to your country, try not to schedule it at the same time as any other major happenings, such as the presidential inauguration
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cape - Gazette)
 
 
 
Bank of America takes recent bailout money, gives it to its management as bonuses, and pats itself on the back for a job well done
source: clusterstock.alleyinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Harley to cut 1,100 jobs as 4Q profit falls; Davidson reportedly nervous
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Credit crunch "will set women back 20 years." Aw - you're not mad, are you, hun?
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Old and busted: hiding mass layoffs by announcing them on Inauguration Day. Big Blue and busted: not announcing them at all
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFAA)
 
 
 
500 UPS employees find out what pink can do for them
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Luxury adventure holiday providers weathering the faltering world economy. Lower income folks risk taking by poking bears with sticks, drunk driving, or eating off the Hardee's dollar menu
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The $1.2 trillion hedge fund industry just became the $750 billion hedge fund industry
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Google beats Wall Street estimates. Estimates wonder why they keep getting beat
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
T. Boone Pickens calls for $150B wind energy program. And by "wind energy" he means "his pocket"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Lane Bryant likely to shut down in 2009. Oh the Hugewomanity
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 22, 2009
(Cape - Gazette)
 
 
 
Playboy consolidating print and Web editions, still trying to figure out how to compete with endless supply of free porn, availability of natural girls not airbrushed beyond recognition
source: alleyinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cape - Gazette)
 
 
 
Ben Affleck offers surprisingly cogent thoughts on the financial meltdown and the bailout. Matt Damon available for comment, but can only say MAAAATT DAAAAMON
source: clusterstock.alleyinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brandweek)
 
 
 
Domino's tells Subway to go suck it by setting fire a cease-and-desist letter on national TV
source: brandweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Why is Merrill Lynch in Trouble. Maybe because the CEO spent $1.22 Million to refurbish his office, including $35,115 for a commode on legs
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fortune's list of 100 best companies to work for along with available positions for you to drool over while you sit in your cubicle
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
New Porsche Museum lets you enjoy the beauty and power of Porsche without the douchebaggery of Porsche owners
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Circuit City employee dishes on the liquidation: Yes, the prices suck. No, they can't change them. And please, don't gloat or make fun--when they close, all you have left is Best Buy
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The latest car manufacturer to fail? Checker Motors, who hasn't built a car since 1982
source: autoblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Congress mildly concerned that next stage of banking bailout has $3-4 trillion estimated price tag
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MacWorld)
 
 
 
Global recession and Steve Jobs' health send Apple reeling. Just kidding; company posts record profits, jump in stock price, increased iPod sales and all-time levels of smug
source: macworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(All Things Digital)
 
 
 
Microsoft feels economic pinch, will shed 5,000 jobs over the next 18 months so that Steve Ballmer can afford to blow his nose with $100 bills, not $20s
source: kara.allthingsd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Sony projects record operating losses upon receiving word that consumers don't like overpriced hardware that may or may not be outdated in the near future
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
California home prices fall to median price of $249,000, a 38% drop over a year ago
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Way News)
 
 
 
Because Time Warner has been so successful over the years, especially after the AOL merger, former CEO Richard Parsons has been picked as the new chairman for Citigroup
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Why did banking stocks tank on Tuesday and rebound on Wednesday? Blame this guy
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Trumpet)
 
 
 
Kiss your high standard of living goodbye, Californians. "The state is spending so much money that Governor Schwarzenegger could fire every single California civil servant and still not come close to balancing the budget"
source: thetrumpet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
CEO of JP Morgan buys $11.5M of stock in his company. Well, if you plan to go down with your ship you might as well be on board
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 21, 2009
(LA Times)
 
 
 
EBay posts first-ever quarterly drop in sales, just in time to ruin any chance Meg Whitman may have had at a successful political career
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
UK pound plummets to $1.36, lowest level since 1985. On the bright side, tons of tourists will now find it affordable to visit Britain this January, eating in legendary British restaurants and buying quality British high-tech goods
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
United Airlines to cut 1,000 jobs, impose passenger pressurization fees
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS11tv.com)
 
 
 
Exxon CEO says gas prices are too low. Also thinks kittens are ugly and beer is bad
source: cbs11tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What do you call your console when the second place console sold more than double what you sold at Xmas? If you're Sony you call it being the "industry leader"
source: eurogamer.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Zsa Zsa Gabor and her husband, Prince Frederic von Asshat, face financial ruin after he convinced her to bet everything on Madoff. Either that or he is just attention whoring again
source: kjrh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Herald Tribune)
 
 
 
General Motors loses title of "world's largest automaker" to Toyota, gets demoted to Colonel Motors
source: iht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CNBC "As Seen On TV" tournament down to the Sweet 16, with eagerly anticipated Oxiclean v. Shamwow battle beginning today. Duke sucks
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
United Airlines has grown tired of losing money due to fuel prices being too high, decides to lose money due to fuel prices being too low instead
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Good-paying jobs in which you work less than 40 hours a week. Also known as "jobs you can't have." Not yours
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Dear employees. We know we just laid off 3,000 of you and we want each of you to take a week unpaid time off, but I want you to know we feel your pain. Now watch this drive
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Germany expects worst recession since World War II, ponders annexing the Sudetenland
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
SEC investigating Apple for the way it handled news about Steve Jobs' health
source: i.gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Should you prepare your own tax return? Or should you entrust it to some part-time chucklehead at a tax firm who took a course? Take the quiz
source: moneycentral.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Expatica)
 
 
 
Despite the best efforts of committees, bureaucrats, consultants, vendors and vermin, Europe's multi-national, multi-lingual, bi-directional, synchronized and transactional security database has managed to fail
source: expatica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Luxury fish-and-chips chain files for bankruptcy. In related news, there is a luxury fish-and-chips chain (though not for long)
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Car thefts are down because nobody can afford to buy the stolen cars. Which probably isn't ironic, but I'm going with it anyway
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
You know that guy who ran off after losing $350 million of his investor's money? Turns out he was "America's Top Ranked Money Manager."
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 20, 2009
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Eaten out lately? You may be one of the over 100 million credit card transactions compromised by spyware at a payment processor
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Even the stores that sell the goods from stores that go out of business are going out of business
source: bizjournals.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Car manfacturers are listening to proposals to equip cars with social networking technology like Facebook. What could pos.... Michael is wrapped around a tree
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bose to cut 1,000 jobs on news that you can get much better audio equipment for much less than they charge
source: tech.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by Clear Channel Inc., Warner Brothers tries to avoid bad press by announcing massive firings on Inauguration Day
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Speedball" brand beer may be banned in UK because it might confuse people into thinking that beer killed John Belushi and River Phoenix
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Logitech announces plans to right-click, delete 600 jobs
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Barack Obama to let states make their own automobile emissions rules. But it will be fine because the government can always bail out carmakers who have a tough time building cars to 50 different standards
source: articles.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Despite agreeing to freeze prices when they merged, Sirius/XM are planning on raising prices. Seriously, did anyone NOT see this coming?
source: orbitcast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(InformationWeek)
 
 
 
Wanted: People to write fake reviews for our crappy products on Amazon. Must be able to mark others' negative reviews as "unhelpful". Apply at Belkin International
source: informationweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Redevelopment might eat Coney Island's 92 year old Nathan's Famous hot-dog stand faster than that guy from Japan who comes over to pig out every 4th of July
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
The internets have done it again: Polaroid is saved
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Bank of Ireland CEO takes a look around at the mess he's made of the Irish economy and says "I think now is a good time to retire."
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Do you bank with Citzens? Congratulations, you invested in subprime mortgages and Credit Default Swaps. Your bank is now owned by the British Government
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Failing, Toyota is. New leadership, Toyoda will bring, mmhm
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Apple's new iTunes pricing won't save music lovers money, but it will put more cash in record companies pockets
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Herald Tribune)
 
 
 
Dick Cheney's master plan of destroying the economy so people would have to join the military for jobs is now coming to fruition
source: iht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 19, 2009
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
That news story about the dream job of being caretaker on the Great Barrier Reef? Yeah, viral marketing designed to distract you from the flocks of deadly flying venomous kangaroos
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Argus)
 
 
 
Fed may bail out Vermont maple producers. How sweet
source: timesargus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
To ensure that outstanding balances can be paid off in these troubled times, credit card companies are... increasing rates?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Lingonberry farmers have their lingonberries in a twist over planned U.S. lingonberry sanctions. Lingonberry
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Spirit tries to charge $90 cancellation fee for passengers it had flown to the Hudson River
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
College graduates face one of the worst job markets in years, and not just the liberal arts majors
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(kenosha news)
 
 
 
Somehow, I don't think a story about "mortician turned Subway restaurant owner" is going to bring in the business
source: kenoshanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
UK unemployment rating upgraded from "Spare me some tea & crumpets guv'nor?" to "Surplus of toothless hookers"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Mexican billionaire comes to the rescue of The New York Times. That sound you heard was Lou Dobbs' head exploding
source: business.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Liz Ryan is competing with Ric Romero with questions to never ask at a job interview. Examples include: Am I going to go through a backgrond check and whether or not there is a drug test
source: hotjobs.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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