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Sun December 28, 2008
(Kansas City) Ironic Gas station owners lament that oil price drop puts them in an even bigger crunch;"We are praying to God to help us any way he can" (42)
(Rocky Mountain News) Scary Lost your pension, salary, and hope for the future? Don't worry, there are plenty of call center jobs available ATH++++++++++++CAREER LOST (20)
(SFGate) Silly Filters prevent gamer from setting up gay/straight alliance club on PlayStation Home. What kind of coonts set up dumb farking shiat like that, anyway? (35)
(MDN) Obvious 1,000 people who lined up to buy McDonald's Japan's reintroduced Quarter Pounder with Cheese don't really love Mickey D's, they were just planted there by marketing firm to create media attention (33)
(Barron's) Obvious Barron's writer gives investment advice for 2009 after consulting Fark's favorite world map: "Here be dragons" (5)
(NJ.com) Ironic Comparing Social Security to Madoff's Ponzi scheme is entirely unfair. To Madoff (57)
(Google) Obvious In 2009, Live Nation will $tart $elling ticket$ to combat Ticketma$ter fee$. Live Nation CEO - "we haven't $een anything in history that $ay$ [people] don't go when economic time$ are bad." Tran$lation: we're $till farked (24)
(Some Guy) Asinine Ethanol industry wants in on bail-out action (61)

Sat December 27, 2008
(Boston Globe) Misc Cheap oil means airlines can't get away with charging a "fuel surcharge" and have to raise ticket prices instead (57)
(The Sun) Interesting David Beckham pulls out of $3 million/year endorsement deal for Pepsi. Pepsi now expected to re-issue special Michael Jackson edition, which comes in little cans (25)
(AFP) Dumbass Wal-Mart to sell iPhones but not at a big discount. Yup, it's trampling time again (44)

Fri December 26, 2008
(business lexington) Spiffy Drew Curtis is considered somewhat of a dinosaur in the new media. In other news, dinosaurs liked bourbon and boobies (62)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Tireless researchers at the Institute of the Blindingly Obvious discover bargain airlines overcharge for food and drink. Let's hope they don't find out about the cabin pressure surcharge (10)
(AP) Interesting The Amazon flows green this Christmas (37)
(UPI) Unlikely Today's made-up numbers claim Santa earned $8 million this year, vs. expenses of $7.78 million (12)
(AP) Cool Finally laziness, too much egg nog pays off: Many firms giving employees the day after Christmas off. 'What the heck am I going to get done?'" (57)
(Bloomberg) Scary Russia's currency is fast approaching "toilet paper" status. It's a good thing they don't have 3,000 nuclear weapons in the hands of a madman  T-Shirt (40)
(Some Guy) Ironic Feeling bad about your finances? Here's a list of previously rich celebrities now in foreclosure (53)

Thu December 25, 2008
(The Morning Call) Interesting This year was the best year ever for concert revenue, with Bon Jovi's tour leading the pack. Seriously... Bon Jovi? As in people paying to see him? Really? (72)
(BBC) Scary Russia to cut off gas to Ukraine by Jan. 1. Happy New Year (52)
(Yahoo) Obvious Old and busted: Black Friday. New Hotness: New Black Friday (95)
(News.com.au) Unlikely Recession's over (41)
(The Morning Call) Obvious If you were unfortunate enough to get a gift card this year, go use it quick before the store goes bankrupt (30)
(Yahoo) Interesting Despite the sluggish global economy, video game sales remained recession-proof in 2008. Subby wonders if it's too late to learn how to be a video game developer (41)
(Boston Globe) Strange Some teens want to spend most of the year in an uninhabitable arctic wasteland, then fly south for summer once it starts to thaw (5)
(AP) Obvious Japan auto production marks worst drop since Godzilla destroyed Tokyo (10)
(Reuters) Sad I made you a retirement account.... but I eated it. :-( S&P set to end the year down 40% (40)
(Bloomberg) Scary GMAC granted bank holding status by the Federal Reserve. Stay tuned tomorrow when Little Debbie begins offering free checking accounts (25)

Wed December 24, 2008
(MSNBC) Spiffy Toyota CEO to step down, because in Japan when a company performs poorly, it's customary for executives to accept the blame and step down, *Cough* Rick Wagoner *cough*, Bonus: The new guy is the founder's grandson (34)
(The Local (Germany)) Sad German package smaller, less stimulating than hoped (9)
(BusinessWeek) Interesting College student rigs government oil and gas auction and says it is easy thanks to last minute deregulation by W (37)
(Free Press) Interesting Hybrids to dominate the '09 Detroit auto show, despite renewed disinterest now that gas prices and credit lines are down (35)
(MSNBC) Followup Wal-Mart: "Our policy is to pay associates for every hour worked and to provide rest and meal breaks." Employees: "Bullshiat." Court: "Seconded." (118)
(Bloomberg) Cool Oil falls below $37 a barrel on reports of reindeer-powered aircraft being spotted (107)
(NPR) Asinine The Chairman of Goldman Sachs, which has taken $10 billion in taxpayer bailpout money to keep form collapsing, says he sees no reason to change his firm's business strategy (35)
(Mercury News) Fail Today's children's consumer products company publishing a phone sex line instead of their customer service number brought to you by Fisher-Price and the Fail tag (32)
(NPR) Interesting Recession confirmed: lottery ticket sales lagging (15)
(MSNBC) Obvious As if reduced purchasing and credit weren't enough, now struggling retailers are being whacked with an 84% increase in shoplifting. Why do consumers hate America? (87)
(ABC News) Interesting Latest sign that the economy is in the toilet? Counterfeiters abandoning expensive luxury goods like designer bags and perfumes to make poor-quality reproductions of food, medicine and car parts (9)
(Fox Business) Obvious Q: If California goes broke, will American taxpayers pick up the bill? A: Duh, yes (64)
(Forbes) Amusing Biggest fictional corporations? Subby's a stock holder in #19. Slide show suckage but worth it (86)
(The Consumerist) Obvious Jim Cramer's stock advice is literally worse than a coin toss (57)

Tue December 23, 2008
(MSN) Obvious The FDA is angry at Coca Cola for falsely claiming there are vitamins in diet coke plus, pulling that "new coke" crap in the 80's (49)
(Marketwatch) Sad Sirius/XM stock rating downgraded to FM (74)
(News.com.au) Asinine Qantas is now attempting to kill your wallet. Its current fuel surcharges are 866% higher than they were in 2004, even though oil prices are have fallen to similar levels (17)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Sad 401(k): 1978-2008. Alas, we hardly knew ye. Rest in peace (141)
(Canoe) Spiffy Evil, money grubbing greedy bank forgives $861,513.25 in January mortgage payments (15)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Existing home sales fall to their lowest levels ever. EVER (60)
(Wall Street Journal) Asinine Teachers in Pennsylvania make $55,000 for nine months of work, but the state still leads the nation in teacher strikes, thanks to an incredibly powerful union (262)
(Some Guy) Obvious Customers are leaving smaller tips, waitstaff says. Mr. Pink unaffected (47)
(Fox Business) Interesting Oil drops below $40 a barrel on news that Amy Winehouse is out of rehab and appearing topless on beaches (43)
(Boston Globe) Sad Stockbrokers not protected by law requiring warning of mass layoffs. With quote from state AFL-CIO president trying to care (22)
(Reuters) Unlikely Citing the stunning success of OPEC to prop up the price of oil, Russia gathers nations to form natural gas cartel, Voltron (20)

Mon December 22, 2008
(Spiegel) Interesting The latest victim in the global financial crisis: The entire Belgian government. The King waffles on replacements (24)
(Some Guy) Spiffy If you're in Milwaukee, Waukesha or Madison, MillerCoors will give you a free ride home on New Year's Eve. No cure for watery tasteless beer (46)
(CNN) Unlikely Blowing off work and goofing off on the job can be beneficial (37)
(Reuters) Obvious Mortgages re-written to help people who can't afford them are re-defaulting at a higher rate and rising. It's almost as if they should be renting (109)
(Reuters) Hero Responding to the economy Caterpillar does the responsible thing and cuts exec pay. Hahaha, no, really they fired ...wait they really cut exec pay? Great, now they just messed up my headline (65)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Longtime Seattle pancake house to be turned into strip club. The staff - experienced with sticky floors, old sausage and flapjacks - expect little change (31)
(Bloomberg) Obvious GM so badly off, it's closing plants and laying off workers. Just kidding, they're only doing that in North America. GM announces it's opening it's eighth plant in China, or, "Thanks for the bailout, suckers" (93)
(CNBC) Scary Ireland raids their pension fund to prevent the collapse of three main banks. Irish depositors raid their liquor cabinet to prevent sobriety (16)
(Telegraph) Scary Head of insurance at HSBC bank has been found hanged and naked in the room of a five-star hotel (59)
(The Onion) Satire Still confused about how the economy went bad? Here's a friendly flow chart to help make things clear (24)

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