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Sun February 03, 2008
CNN Scary Jim Rogers: We are probably going to have one of the worst recessions we've had since the Second World War (48)
Yahoo Interesting Now you can trade in that plumber's crack for a windmill technician's crack. Crack (3)
CBC Obvious FTA: "Microsoft Corp.'s proposed $44.6 billion U.S. takeover of Yahoo Inc. is going to get a long, hard look from antitrust regulators, experts said Friday, simply because, well, it's coming from Microsoft." (12)
(Some Guy) Obvious Mike Huckabee asks Jesus to stimulate U.S. economy. In his defense, it will work as well as anything Bush has done (18)
(Some Bean Counter) Interesting Oil prices drop to $89 per barrel upon news that The War on Terror™ has just overtaken the Vietnam war as America's second most expensive ever (14)
(Washington Post) Cool Good news for George Bush: new data shows U.S. is now #1 in per capita GDP among all major nations of the world, passing both Germany and Japan (45)
(Radio Ink) Stupid The empty suits who ruined radio come clean and describe the dwindling remnants of their business as "audio-anchored advertising, formerly known as radio" as Clear Channel announces they've got that pesky golden goose cornered (45)
Yahoo Stupid If you think that The Gap's advertisements couldn't get any more obnoxious, you would be very, very wrong (13)

Sat February 02, 2008
(Some Guy) Obvious Romero's been scooped once again: Economic downturn linked to increase in arson (66)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Costco to sell its own brand of beer. They love you (131)
Yahoo Interesting The richest people you've never heard of (17)
Sign On San Diego Misc Beer banned beside beaches, booze businesses bankrolled ban backbiters. Brilliant (8)
BBC Obvious Credit card company cancels 161,000 customers who were running up high bills and not paying off their balances every month. You're doing it wrong (37)
Reuters Stupid Lone Star convicted of stock manipulation, giving Dark Helmet the raspberry (11)

Fri February 01, 2008
Daily Mail Followup Jerome Kerviel, the banker who gambled and lost $7.5 billion, is now a national hero in France; they don't have many (12)
(Some Guy) Interesting Dot-com pioneers: Where they are now (21)
Winding Road Ironic Buyers so eager to pick up Nissan's "half-priced supercar," the GT-R, that they're apparently willing to pay almost double the asking price (34)
Winding Road Dumbass Just in time to capitalize on rising fuel prices and environmental awareness, Hummer introduces a new four-door pickup with 32" tires (24)
CNBC Unlikely World banks attempt to rescue U.S. bond insurance companies, finally answering the question "What happens when a lifeguard who can't swim tries to save someone who is drowning?" (11)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Google quarterly profit climbs to $1.21 billion. For those of you who have trouble picturing such an amount, that's a metric assload of money (22)
Reuters Obvious Exxon posts highest annual profits in the history of American business. Mission Accomplished (42)
(Some Guy) News Microsoft offers to buy Yahoo for $44.6 billion, unlimited Yahoo Mail invites (250)
KCRA 3 Asinine "Stranger Originated Life Insurance" means someone you don't know will profit from your death. This couldn't possibly be a bad idea (109)
Reuters Scary Option ARMs, the next chapter in the mortgage meltdown, could push hundreds of thousands more subprime and prime borrowers into foreclosure (61)

Thu January 31, 2008
My Fox DC Stupid Company makes debit card that lets you withdraw from your 401k plan at ATMs. This cannot possibly end poorly (241)
News.com.au Amusing From the Institute of Bad Marketing Ideas: Woolworths markets bedroom set for young girls, calls it "Lolita" (27)
Reuters Sappy Ohio pig to forecast US economic outlook. If pig predicts bear market, anticipate porkbelly futures to go up (6)
MSNBC Interesting Woman askes for refund because half her airline seat was taken up by a fattie overflowing onto it. Airline declines, says she should be thankful she wasn't eaten (38)
Network World Obvious Motorola may spin off mobile phone division. Um, what would be left of the company after that? (25)
(Some Guy) Interesting In wake of Yahoo layoffs, Microsoft headhunters poaching select Yahoo employees (4)
Reuters Interesting MasterCard profit jumps, shares soar on priceless pep talks. Thanks Peyton (6)
CNN Misc TiVo finally makes some money (18)
CNN Asinine $31.3 billion in profit? For Shell, that is simply "satisfactory" (26)
Forbes Obvious The 15 most overpriced cars. Note: 13 are American, and dont forget how most are made in Canada or Mexico (28)
(Canadian Press) Obvious Loonie plunges below USD in Thursday morning trading upon news of NFL entering Toronto (14)
Reuters Interesting Panasonic parent conglomorate Matsushiata's profits rise 22% on increased sales of flat panel TVs, used panty vending machines (8)
CNN PSA The IRS would like to remind you to not be stupid before you get your tax refund. Being stupid afterwards still encouraged (9)
The Register Interesting US Navy ready to test fire rail gun; Chinese and Russians watching closely to see whether the design is worth stealing (160)
Breitbart.com Interesting Joe Isuzu is packing up his things and moving back to Japan (50)
Winding Road Scary Because the prospects of $2500 cars from India and tin-can Chinese autos aren't enough, German company said to be pondering producing a new Trabant (16)

Wed January 30, 2008
(RCR News) Hero Largest class-action lawsuit in history filed against Verizon Wireless, demanding refund of Early Termination Fees. Can you pay me now? (45)
Yahoo Cool Boeing is totally kicking Airbus's ass (44)
Marketwatch Interesting Starbucks announces plans to close 1% of stores nationwide, effectively reducing the number of Starbucks on every city block to 27 (152)
Guardian.com Interesting America's largest banks: "The point is, ladies and gentleman, that greed, for lack of a better word, is good. Greed is right, greed works." FBI: "Whoa, not so fast there, buddy." (15)
DallasNews Obvious Dell is closing all of its mall kiosks because they finally realized that no one will ever buy a computer from a mall kiosk (27)
USA Today Interesting Wal-Mart to sell 140 Hannah Montana products, including Hannah Montana clothing, Hannah Montana bung droppers, Hannah Montana core routers, and Hannah Montana multimode optical fibers (45)
(Some Guy) Interesting Former News Corp executive Stephen Chao is launching a YouTube alternative. Chao is known for hiring a male stripper for a business meeting and also almost drowning Rupert Murdock's dog, so it should be worth a look (9)
UPI Ironic Student loan giant Sallie Mae gets a loan for $31 billion. Immediately installs caller ID on all its phones (33)
The Consumerist Obvious Former Enzyte VP says their "male enhancement" ads are complete fiction (66)
Boston Herald Obvious Staples executive steals $800,000. That was easy (23)

Tue January 29, 2008
(nytimes.com) Interesting Sellers give negative feedback on eBay changes. Would not use again (42)
CNN Silly The marketing geniuses at Ford admit that the Taurus sucks, but next year's might suck a little less (20)
USA Today Stupid Advocacy groups lining up to be pissed off by this year's Super Bowl ads (40)
SFGate Interesting What recession? Orders for durable goods rise by 5.2 percent, ensuring that the flat screen HDTV you wanted to spend your stimulus rebate on will be there at the store (34)
Yahoo Dumbass Countrywide posts $422 million 4Q loss. Turns out lending money to broke people is bad (29)
(NY Times) Misc The Wall Street Journal is moving away from Wall Street. Next thing you know, the NY Times won't be in Times Square (17)
AP Stupid eBay lowering listing fees to increase activity, will offset lowered fees by raising commissions on sold items. In other news, North is now South and War is now Peace (68)
Yahoo Obvious The luxury yacht market continues its amazing boom despite global economic downturn. Suck it, poor people (68)

Mon January 28, 2008
The Register Obvious Major VMWare shareholders are shocked to learn that nothing grows at a rate of 100% per year forever (28)
Kansas.com Asinine Tesla Motors: "We can't comply with the new air bag rules, it's to hard, so we won't use any at all." National Highway Traffic Safety Administration : "Well......OK." (187)
CNN Obvious Clear Channel stock plummets on news that corporate pap is neither a viable radio format nor a business plan (43)
Breitbart.com Obvious Mortgage slump creates ghost town in Cleveland, known by locals as "Cleveland" (62)
PCWorld Weird Apple claims slightly over 3.7 million iPhones were sold in 2007, AT&T claims "just at or sightly under two million." Do the math, that's a 1.7 million phone difference (44)
Wall Street Journal Interesting Warren Buffet is still buying, personal income is up and American corporations have $1.1 trillion on their books: Don't panic about the economy (96)
Hartford Courant Asinine Hospitals: Give us more money to help the poor. State: Your executive pay is up 95 percent in five years. Hospitals: What's your point? (23)
Chicago Tribune Misc McDonald's profit up three percent on strong same-store sales, which are legal in Massachusetts (13)
Marketwatch Sad Housing market? What housing market? (63)
(bloomberg.com) Interesting Palm says it has not been hurt by competition from Blackbery and iPhone. Just kidding, it plans on closing most of its retail stores next month (25)
Yahoo Hero Outgoing Countrywide Financial Group CEO Angelo Mozila foregoes the $37.5 million bonus he was entitled to and will instead live on a mere stipend of $23.8 million for losing billions of dollars (43)

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