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Sun January 20, 2008
AP Interesting The latest plan to help save Sears from itself: divide and conquer from within (23)
Sun Sentinel Sad There's rich, there's super-rich, and then there's the rest of us (630)
Wall Street Journal Unlikely It worked for Family Guy, so maybe a fan campaign will work for the Hydrox cookie (1908-2003) (39)

Sat January 19, 2008
Canoe Amusing Ford pulls "Drive it like you stole it" campaign, as it might encourage theft, erratic driving (60)
(Ny Times) Scary Foreign investment gut and hollow out U.S. financial institutions at record pace. Otherwise known today as "bailing out" (44)
(The Economist) Interesting A comprehensive study on the economics of prostitution concludes that pimping is, in fact, quite easy (17)
Wired Cool Venture capital investments in U.S. startups climb to a six-year high of $29.4 billion in 2007, raising hope that ample money will still be available to back promising new ideas even if the staggering economy falls into a recession (4)
London Times Obvious How British banks fleece the public, fend off Dennis Moore (12)
(Bloomberg) Asinine The US Supreme Court rules that defrauded investors can't sue businesses which participate in revenue-inflation schemes because it would be bad for business. Wait, what? (21)
Yahoo Unlikely Quiznos tries to reposition itself in industry with new $2 wrap, and new slogan: "Quiznos. Slightly better than Subway at twice the price." (79)
Washington Post Interesting Ambac, a bond insurance company that oversees $553 billion in bonds, is demoted from AAA to a AA after failing to raise $1 billion in cash. Willie Mays Hayes reportedly devastated. Wild Thing unavailable for comment (11)
Canada.com Interesting Capitalism is Saving the Planet (53)

Fri January 18, 2008
Canoe Interesting Is it okay to have a tattoo at work? (74)
Guardian.com Obvious Japan increases shame content in all paper products (17)
(h.d.) Stupid If you're the judge presiding over a multi-million dollar lawsuit against a major coal company, it's not a good idea to let photographs of you on vacation with the aforementioned company's CEO leak online (25)
Yahoo Cool Nintendo tops video game sales in 2007. Wiiiiiiiii (72)
(bizjournals.com) Sad Sprint to drop employees like it drops calls (23)
MSNBC Unlikely Federal Reserve study concludes Wal-Mart is good for communities, generates enough revenue to buy Fed analysts (22)
Wall Street Journal Obvious US recession is like sex with Kobe Bryant: yell and scream all you want, but it's still gonna happen (73)
USA Today Misc Gaming industry sales grew by 43% in 2007. Sales figures for Cheetos, Mt. Dew close behind (58)

Thu January 17, 2008
CNN Obvious Have any money in a 401(k)? You just lost a huge chunk of it, more losses to follow. Keep working, citizen (81)
London Times Obvious "Doom-laden forecasts that world oil supplies are poised to fall off the edge of a cliff are wrong, according to leading oil industry experts." Suck it, peak oil zealots (35)
USA Today Scary Dow has plunged over 1,000 points in the first 18 days of this year. EVERYBODY PANIC (67)
Yahoo Amusing U.S. Congresswoman Marcy Kaptur (D-umbass) grills the chairman of the Federal Reserve about his involvement in the subprime mortgage crisis after mistaking him for U.S. Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (136)
(News.com) Misc Microsoft hires former GM exec to replace CIO who was let go for violating company policies. Where do you want to go today, stocks? (2)
AJC Strange 10,000 people wait in line to apply for jobs at a soon to open Atlanta area Wal-Mart. No word on how many thought they were in line for a Wii (21)
Forbes Obvious Having secured billions in overseas funding, Merrill Lynch drags out an even larger amount of dirty laundry (3)
Wall Street Journal Followup Jury orders Apollo Group to pay $280 Million, which will buy quite a few Starbucks (14)
Wall Street Journal Asinine Is Starbucks to stop providing organic milk? WSJ article explains with a slew of contradictory statements that make no farking sense whatsoever (18)
ABC News Misc Ben Bernanke hints he's open to stimulus. Huh huh grrrr stampa stampa (20)
AP Stupid Because paying by the hour worked so well, Time Warner changes internet access pricing to link price with amount of data downloaded (58)
CNBC Cool Logitech posted a 40%+ jump in q3 profit, boosted by more people fwapping to teh interwebs and thus needing new keyboards (16)
Chicago Tribune Sad Richard Knerr, 82, co-founder of Wham-O, has died. He invented that circle thing, you know, for KIDS (107)
Marketwatch Strange Merrill Lynch writes off $12.57 per share. Shares rise 4% on the news. Up is down, black is white. Wham is popular again (29)
CNBC Obvious Oil rises to $91 per barrel on Israeli missile tests. They're not even trying to mask the fact that oil is not priced on supply and demand anymore (29)
Marketwatch Unlikely Washington wants to jump start the economy but can't decide if the red cable goes on the positive or negative terminal (17)
Marketwatch Scary Think the U.S. stock market is having a rough time? Chinese markets have fallen 32% since November, must be all that lead (33)

Wed January 16, 2008
(Ars Technica) Amusing Court rules that Amazon can't offer free shipping in France. Instead of following the ruling, Amazon chooses to ship free and pay the daily fine (57)
CBS News Interesting How to protect your money during a recession: Buy guns, ammo, and canned goods (18)
The Register Unlikely Dell implements its new "Christmas on 34th Street" strategy. Either that, or Steve Jobs is about to buy them out (22)
Chicago Tribune Asinine Chase says "bend over", hikes non-customer ATM fee to $3 (341)
The Consumerist Weird New eco-friendly Walmart has decorative moldings made from used diapers (59)
(Some Guy) PSA The inflation rate is now the highest in 17 years. Econ 101: Interest rates need to be raised to counter this (76)
Fox News Stupid Post Office reveals stamp honoring biochemist containing incorrect chemical formula (28)
MSNBC Obvious Apparently Boeing named its new 787 the Dreamliner because if you think anyone is ever going to see one fly, they're dreaming (28)
The Scotsman Interesting Indian retailer offers Chinese-made kilts for £19.99 to undercut the competiton. Begun, the kilt wars have (14)
(Some Guy) Followup Smiling Bob says, "Yes your Honor, the pill was all fiction... but the money was real." (52)
Houston Chronicle Obvious Enron shareholders to be paid 2,190 days late, and about $83 short (13)
Telegraph Hero 92-year old high priestess of US monetarism takes Alan Greenspan over knee, spanks bottom until it is sub-prime (25)

Tue January 15, 2008
Google Interesting EMI Records announces cha cha cha cha changes (22)
Yahoo Asinine TicketsNow is finally breaking the Ticketmaster monopoly . . . damn . . . Ticketmaster is buying them out (36)
MSNBC Stupid With gas prices over $4.00 per gallon, now is the perfect time to release a new 380 horsepower, 5.7-liter HEMI V8 (139)
AJC Followup Megazord Air update: Delta "hoping" for either a United or Northwest deal within two weeks. US consumers collectively bang heads on wall (12)
CNN Obvious Stocks tank on fears of recession. Recession fueled by tanking stocks (22)
BBC Obvious The US sub-prime crisis explained. (With pictures for those too lazy to read the farkin' contract) (36)
Reuters Obvious Williams-Sonoma stock falls on news that people really don't need $3000 Zirconium-encrusted Italian salad tongs and $400 egg timers (24)
Washington Post Scary Inflation back up to Reagan era standards (45)
Marketwatch Scary Today's 200 point drop in the stock market brought to you by our new asian pimp daddies (22)
Slashdot Interesting If you're telecommuting, you may be hurting office morale (106)
Detroit News Asinine Trader Joe's no longer carries food from China. That is, they no longer carry food labeled "Product of China." Chinese ingredients in other food still ok. Stand proud, principled yuppies (33)
Reuters Obvious After helping create the housing bubble, Alan Greenspan takes a cushy job with a hedge fund (19)
Marketwatch Followup Merrill Lynch continues the asian whore-out, gets $6.6 billion from Korea and Japan (5)
(bloomberg.com) Misc Nokia cuts 2300 jobs after discovering we don't have any more room in our drawers for old cell phones (2)
(Some Guy) Interesting FTC to investigate the "carbon offset" industry, manbearpig (33)
(A Bezos) Interesting France fines Amazon. Amazon is defiant. France fails to surrender. Wait. What? (7)
(tradingmarkets) Scary Fake $100 'supernotes' almost undistinguishable from the real thing. I'm rich, biatch (32)
(Some Guy) Scary Investor confidence in Germany has hit an all-time low, sparking talk of a recession. Poland fidgets nervously (10)
CNN Asinine "College" and "tight" meet in a new position as Congressional funding cuts bend Sallie Mae over the table making for harder loans (21)
NYPost Interesting Girl Scouts to sell cookies in 100 calorie packages. Still no cure for the urge to down an entire box of the crack cocaine known as Thin Mints (252)
Wall Street Journal Interesting Economic Freedom by Country (28)
BBC Obvious "BBC wins battle of news bongs" (64)
AP Sad Brunswick splits from bowling pin production. Strike not likely as no employees were spared (72)
Marketwatch Obvious Flip This Company: Citigroup lays off 20,000 workers, whores for money in Asia and the Middle East and cuts their dividend by half. HALF. Guess who was left without a chair after the subprime meltdown shuffle? (22)
(Some Guy) Interesting Honda plans to market hybrid car in U.S. priced so low that even hippies can afford it (27)
(LLN) Scary GM says new U.S. fuel economy law will push car prices up by $6,000 (102)

Mon January 14, 2008
(AdRants) Asinine A club of people who love your crappy cars make a calendar of them sitting in those beloved crappy cars. Do you... (C) sue them (56)
(businessweek.com) Interesting Oil prices rise to $93 a barrel on news that Britney Spears is converting to Islam (13)
IndyStar Sad Steak n' Shake stock going down. Bean crock (56)
BBC Sad Cadbury's union not thrilled with chocolate plant being Schweppt away to Poland, despite promise of hot cocoa samplers for all (7)
(TGD Daily) Interesting HD-DVD player prices fall so steeply, it's no longer cool to own one (56)
Baltimore Sun Obvious Annual story on coffee beans harvested from civet feces courtesy of The Baltimore Sun (59)
MSNBC PSA Chances of a recession have gone from 1 in 3 to 50-50 (49)
(Some Guy) Interesting You can't have iPhone, China. Not yours (15)
SMH Obvious Feeling good about all those frequent flier miles you've been racking up? Well, if you book off-season, 11 months in advance, and mid-week, you just might be able to redeem some of them for a free flight. But don't count on it (16)
Network World Interesting IBM, locked in several high-profile patent disputes with competitors, wins most patents in U.S. for 15th consecutive year (6)
Marketwatch Obvious Fear of inflation could drive gold to $1,000 per ounce. Adjusted for inflation, that means gold has only lost 75% of it's value in the last 30 years. BUY BUY BUY (43)
BBC Misc In a totally unexpected move, Aer Lingus abandons Shannon's lush, moist, undulating hills in favor of its new throbbing, pulsating hub of Bell-End... er, Belfast (13)

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