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Sun July 29, 2007
Bangor Daily News Asinine Maine man leases his rotary phone for more than six hundred months at $4.45 a month. Any investment advisors out there to say what he would have made in conservative stock investments? (16)
MSNBC Unlikely Meditators claim their vibrations will boost stock market above 17,000, create utopia (57)
Daily Mail Asinine Bank issues their customer service representatives a manual that explains how to hardball customers into giving up on their effort to seek refunds for bank overcharges unless they are "very ill or dying" (173)

Sat July 28, 2007 Sad Government plan to build more affordable homes blocked by homebuilders who make more money slapping up million-dollar McMansions on 40-foot lots (143)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Disney drops plan for Mickey Mouse wine. Surly, Remorseful and Sleazy unavailable for comment (47)
AZCentral Interesting If we want to produce green energy on a large scale, we need businessmen in addition to scientists to push the technology forward. Or we can do what the Chinese do and add green food coloring to regular energy (9)
Computerworld Weird Indian offshore firm plans 1,000-employee center in Atlanta. Wait...What? (26) Interesting Shell Oil is making $3,000,000 an hour - from us (23)

Fri July 27, 2007
CNBC Obvious Those evil Democrats are responsible for the declining stock market, crashing housing market, and for killing your childhood pet (177)
CNBC Scary After yesterday's sell-off, Dow continues to slide (24)
Yahoo Obvious Economy growth is best in a year. Suck it, libs (322)
Fox News Interesting Have you heard how simply driving a new car off the lot reduces the price by 25 percent? It's a myth (205)

Thu July 26, 2007
Marketwatch Misc Yesterdays News: $100 a barrel oil coming. Todays news: Oil down to $70 a barrell, Exxon Mobil stock drops 5%. Entertainment News: Jessica Alba is newly single. Farkers really only care about one of these (10)
Marketwatch Scary Official "stock market continues to freefall" thread. What's in your wallet? (318)
CNN Spiffy Remember how in 2002 we were laughing at those guys who bought for $7 million? Yeah, they just sold it for $345 million (74)
USA Today Obvious Exxon reports fourth largest earnings ever. Why can't they have all-time record profits every quarter? (140)
Yahoo Followup Apple stock up 7% at the open. So much for all those "tanking" threads (21)
BBC Spiffy Ford's accounting office calls office printer technician, is shocked to discover that all that black ink was not an error (85)
AP Sad Republicans were all for the Farm Bill that would help struggling farmers and bolster the food stamp program - until they found out that it was going to be paid for by taxing US companies who hide profits in offshore subsidiaries (80)
MSNBC Misc Digg fires Google, hires some young upstart firm for its advertising (99)

Wed July 25, 2007
(NBC 15) Stupid If you're the SBA and you have a backlog of 12,000 loan approvals waiting to be processed do you? 1. Work harder on getting them processed 2. Hire more workers to get through the backlog 3. Cancel all 12,000 loans and say you are caught up (42)
(Bloomberg) Scary Oil to hit $100 a barrel in a few months. EVERYBODY PANIC (122)
(Some Guy) Obvious Chinese pirates busted with $500 million of software. L Matey (97)
(Some Guy) Unlikely AMD plans on increasing system memory over the next two years, making the bold assumption that they will exist for another two years (46)
CNBC Cool Remember when Dubya's brother Neil helped rape the country out of $1.4 trillion in the S&L scandal? Well, thanks to pension reforms we now have $16.5 trillion in 401(k)'s (24)
STLToday Strange Adult business no longer allowed to disturb the dead (47)
(KCRG News) Obvious Step 1: Hire consultant to lower expenses by $2.9 million. Step 2: ????? Step 3: Pay Consultant $3.4 million (Profit?) (19)
Wall Street Journal Obvious Chrysler tells its dealers: "You wanna work here - close. You think this is abuse? You think this is abuse, you [expletive deleted]? You can't take this, how can you take the abuse you get on a sit? You don't like it, leave" (53)
Yahoo Misc New York Times quarterly profit rises. Funny, I thought they were all commies over there (3)
NCBuy Obvious Nintendo profit ducks, holds down A, jumps five-fold (19)
CNBC Scary Oil soars past $74 on news that Rob Schneider went on the Tonight Show dressed as Lindsay Lohan and was actually funny (13)
Newsweek Interesting Newsweek heralds the business opportunities in "Second Life." Meanwhile, Wired is running an article calling the sex-soaked virtual world a wasteland (25)
USA Today Followup The fine print on the XM-Sirius merger proposal makes the whole thing look a whole lot less appetizing (45)
(Rutland Herald) Amusing Not news: Pirating music is illegal. Still not news: Man sued for downloading music. Fark: It was "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell (133)
CNBC Obvious Sales of existing homes fell 3.8 percent on news that you're still living in your parent's basement (3)
Forbes Cool Well, Apple is tanking and Netflix has dropped, but Amazon's stock is performing almost twice as well as expected (22)
Stuff Obvious "It is not up to a pizza company to set morals for children, it's up to the parents" (65)
MSNBC Interesting Blockbuster lays the smackdown on Netflix (58)

Tue July 24, 2007
(Some Loonie) Cool Canadians don baggy pants and platform shoes as dollar hits 0.964134 USD, a value not seen since early 1977. Play that funky music, white north boy (106)
Sign On San Diego Scary Foreclosures up 551 percent over last year in San Diego. That's not a bubble, that's foam (207)
Reuters Obvious Dow Jones Industrial Average loses over 200 points on news that you can't have a $300,000 mortgage, pay $875 a month, and get away with it for very long (160)
USA Today Amusing Newspaper reports that airfares kept low because of... the Wrath of Kahn? (130)
Yahoo Interesting For only the second time in history, McDonald's posts a loss for the quarter. Maybe now they'll put the transfat back in the fries and make 'em taste good again (262)
Reuters Misc Starbucks to raise prices from expensive to "You paid WHAT for a coffee drink with whipped cream?" (212)
Reuters Obvious Apple stock tumbles on news that the iPhone sales sucks. Much like the iPhone itself (396)

Mon July 23, 2007
CNN Unlikely Mercedes-Benz stock triples on news that, effective Tuesday, minimum wage workers will bring home an additional $0.70 an hour (241)
Washington Post Cool XM and Sirius announce plans for a la carte pricing that would be available if the FCC would get off their fat asses and approve the damn merger already (141)
MDN Silly Canned ramen noodles now available since it is obviously a serious hardship to rip the little orange packages open and toss the noodle brick into hot water (213)
Yahoo Obvious Wal-Mart to cut back-to-school prices in order to: A) Offset rising gas prices for families, B) Put the squeeze on competition, or C) Get free advertising throughout mass media (33)
Reuters Misc American Standard to be flush with cash after selling bathroom unit (12)
BBC Obvious BP gets fined $92,000 over Texas refinery blast in 2005 that killed 15 and injured 180. Well, that should really teach them a lesson (18)
Pravda Scary Foreign investors have more control over the U.S. economy than Americans (15)

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