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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun March 07, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Cracked) Interesting Five people who changed the world from inside of prison  (cracked.com) (104)
(Pittsburgh Channel) Ironic Historical Hindenburg site burns down: "Somehow something in there ignited and it just went up really quickly"  (thepittsburghchannel.com) (66)
(Some Guy) Florida When stealing lottery tickets, resist the urge to redeem your winners at the same store you robbed  (970wfla.com) (20)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Verizon says that a death certificate is not enough to prove that a person is dead, continues to bill dead man  (tampabay.com) (213)
(Detroit News) Silly So what do you do if you're 45 years old and can't bear to hang up your pompoms?  (detnews.com) (116)
(Some Guy) Dumbass He is a graffiti artist, and the police cruiser is his canvas  (santacruzsentinel.com) (60)
(Some Guy) Interesting Actual headline: "Darling, a prostitute saved my life." Oh, did I say "actual headline"? I meant to say "famous last words"  (theobserver.ca) (24)
(Denver Post) Strange Man has spent 34 years proving to police he's not an escaped criminal. Oh, and it was the Denver police who gave the criminal the man's identity. Oh, and the best way for the man to prove he's not the criminal? Drop his pants  (denverpost.com) (41)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop these cheese eaters  (spiegel.de) (31)
(People Pets) Scary And now, for no particular reason, here are some photos of Caplin Rous -- the world's largest domesticated rodent  (peoplepets.com) (104)
(Toledo Blade) Dumbass Most parents are protective of their daughters and are dubious of their boyfriends. But most parents don't bring their two grown sons to hold the boyfriend against their will and pistol whip him. That's where this mom is different  (toledoblade.com) (117)
(CNN) Interesting American born Al Qaeda member, Adam Gadahn, may or may not have been arrested in Pakistan  (cnn.com) (110)
(Yahoo) Obvious Home-schooling parents are having a hard time finding science books that don't use the same explanation for everything  (news.yahoo.com) (577)
(New Zealand Herald) Spiffy "Your honor, that man is a monster. He assaulted that poor little snowflake." "I call BS, the kid is a brat. Charges dismissed and will the deputy please escort said brat to the slammer."  (nzherald.co.nz) (159)
(Globe and Mail) Amusing Too chicken to dump your significant other? This guy will call them, dump them for you, record the ensuing hilarity, and post it on Youtube, all for only $10  (theglobeandmail.com) (155)
(CNN) Obvious Oh, and some elections occured in some Middle East country today  (cnn.com) (136)
(CNN) Obvious Because young adults are noted for following the advice of authority figures, Texas police decide to promote tourism to Mexico  (cnn.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this colorful collection  (festpicture.ru) (30)
(SLO Tribune) Interesting Submitter's father worked in the cafeteria to pay for college. Submitter worked computer help desk. These days, kids get jobs counting roadkill  (sanluisobispo.com) (56)
(Telegram) Stupid If your car is stolen Worcester police may or may not find it, but city meter maids definitely will  (telegram.com) (55)
(Newton TAB) Obvious What are the odds that a police officer would show up at Dunkin Donuts right as a thief walked out the door?  (wickedlocal.com) (42)
(CNN) Obvious If you're wondering why you haven't seen many stories about shark attacks this year, it's because there are fewer attacks. So here's a story about that  (cnn.com) (50)
(Canada.com) Obvious You Farkers can keep resting easy. Exercise is useless. However, you might have to put down the bacon  (montrealgazette.com) (190)
(First Coast News) Florida Today's "Naked Burglar Makes Himself At Home" headline brought to you by the chief of all Naked Burglar states (with "yeah, I'd do it again" pic)  (firstcoastnews.com) (34)
(NPR) Unlikely Does a school have the right to punish a student for an act committed on the weekend? Welcome to New Jersey  (npr.org) (206)
(NPR) Obvious You know all those commercials that try to show teens just how bad binge drinking can be for them? This is Fark, you know the results  (npr.org) (274)
(WFTV) Amusing Man has a mountain of sand and hangs women's underwear outside his home. And then it gets weird. (w/video)  (wftv.com) (91)
(Reuters) Asinine 9/11 now joins "Homosexuality in Iran" and "The Holocaust" on Ahmadinejad's list of "Things that don't exist". Unicorns seen fleeing from Iran. Or were they?  (reuters.com) (575)
(CNN) Amusing Peter Griffin wanted for questioning (LGT video)  (cnn.com) (106)
(AZCentral) Scary HA HA HA... Go ahead Bro, tase me again  (azcentral.com) (170)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this telescope  (telescopeguides.net) (35)
(USA Today) Cool Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville restaurants are key sponsors of the Jamaican dogsled team in this year's Iditarod. In other news: There's a Jamaican dogsled team  (usatoday.com) (72)
(CNN) Scary They see me rollin'... They hatin'  (cnn.com) (117)
(NYPost) Dumbass "Coke-tail" waitress. Get it, coketail waitress? Anyway, she sues her boss for snorting cocaine off her shoulder. With a thank you God yessireebob I'd hit it pic  (nypost.com) (145)
(Yahoo) Sad Achievement Unlocked: Leaving your infant daughter to die of neglect because you're too busy raising a virtual child online. Bonus: Both parents arrested and charged  (videogames.yahoo.com) (177)

Sat March 06, 2010
(History Channel) Photoshop Theme: Shows we'd like to see on the History Channel  (history.com) (61)
(Some Pissed Off Texan) Amusing Judge sues Wal-Mart and Sam's Club, claiming that their poor customer service caused him to be involuntarily institutionalized  (brownsvilleherald.com) (72)
(MassLive) Obvious Tractor trailer containing 30,000 pounds of yogurt rolls over on I-91 in Northampton. Culture comes to Western Massachusetts  T-Shirt  (masslive.com) (54)
(IndyStar) Sad Two dead after small plane traveling from Indianapolis to Pennsylvania crashes in Ohio, presumably when the plane figured out that it was flying to Pennsylvania  (indystar.com) (47)
(AFP) Dumbass Cccopppsss rrresppponddd to cccall fffrommm wwwommmannn rrregggardddinggg ssstttrrrange nnnoisssesss cccommminggg fffrrrommm innnsssiddde hhherrr hhhoussse  (news.yahoo.com) (31)
(9 News) Dumbass Drug dealer has a doormat that says "Come back with a warrant." You're on Fark, so you know what happened next  (9news.com) (40)
(ABC News) Sappy Dog and cheetah become friends at Oregon safari park. Dog nicknames cheetah "fastcat" while cheetah's nickname for the dog is "emergency lunch"  (abcnews.go.com) (36)
(Denver Channel) Dumbass Not news: Two men arrested for fighting. Fark: Over someone's favorite parking spot at McDonald's  (thedenverchannel.com) (34)
(Yahoo) Obvious Two teens in California go missing within a couple days of each other. One is hot, one not. Guess which one got media attention  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(BBC) Spiffy Canada scraps plan to change national anthem from "O Canada" to "2112"; as a backup, organizers were willing to concede to adopting "Temples of Syrinx" but the plan failed  (news.bbc.co.uk) (100)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Catholic preschool bars re-enrollment of child with two mommies. (Sadly, no pics of what two mommies might look like)  (huffingtonpost.com) (287)
(UPI) Followup Yeah, about that sainthood... um, mebbe not. Woman "cured" by Pope John Paul II is ill again  (upi.com) (89)
(MSNBC) Obvious Woman gets her fingers bitten off by bear at a zoo after ignoring barriers and warning signs. Alcohol played a part, as if that needed to be stated  (msnbc.msn.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this entrance to the real world  (gallery.photo.net) (51)
(AFP) Amusing Three college kids steal stuffed gorilla from museum, take pictures of it in wigs, then return it. They finally come forward, 54 years later  (news.yahoo.com) (20)
(Cleveland) Scary Forget 2012, the world is over: Cleveland Cavaliers fans create world record for Most Snuggies Worn  (cleveland.com) (45)
(Washington Post) Interesting Not news: Person spends $44 million on nine waterfront mansions. Fark: Person is 11-years-old  (washingtonpost.com) (36)
(ecanadanow) Weird Woman sues after doctor gives her an extra set of breasts. Eccentrica Gallumbits feels inadequate  (ecanadanow.com) (100)
(Seacoastonline.com) Spiffy It's another free Guinness give away. Don't forget your towels  (seacoastonline.com) (47)
(London Times) Scary Your dog wants steak, and will soon be able to sue you for it  (timesonline.co.uk) (26)
(UPI) Dumbass How Would Jesus Exercise? English rector evicts tai chi class from church hall after deciding exercise routines were not compatible with Christianity  (upi.com) (92)
(Jalopnik) Amusing Dear God, the Cylons ARE coming  (jalopnik.com) (88)
(Some Craigslister) Florida Nicholas Cage could have saved himself a lot of trouble by just buying this rare copy of the Declaration of Independence for only $8000  (daytona.craigslist.org) (48)
(CNN) Scary Norwegian tanker hijacked off of Madagascan coast. Penguins on the deck seen waving and acting cuddly  (cnn.com) (55)
(Some Farker) Amusing I think this guy's onto something. Subby wonders what his FARK handle is  (orient.bowdoin.edu) (125)
(Yahoo) Obvious The most discriminated group in America. Is it African-Americans? Hispanics? Christians? Nope... it's the prancing poofters, of course  (news.yahoo.com) (236)
(Jacksonville.com) Fail Ski mask? Check. Gun? Check. Getaway vehicle and driver? Check. Intended target is a fully locked, drive-through only bank, with several witnesses in line? Fark  (jacksonville.com) (24)
(Some Dog Loving Guy) Followup Judge to rule if the case against vicious 10 year old dachshund should proceed or be dismissed. Vet tech "only concerned he might bite his owner or someone else" and in no way is seeking revenge on the animal  (coloradodaily.com) (117)
(Rochdale Observer) Obvious Psychotherapist charged with acting like there are a couple well-placed spaces in his title  T-Shirt  (rochdaleobserver.co.uk) (41)
(Daily Mail) Caturday Hungry cat who got whiskers stuck in Whiskas can can now go home for Caturday  (dailymail.co.uk) (641)
(Yahoo) Asinine 2012 Olympics: Police will have powers to enter private homes and seize posters, and will be able to stop people carrying non-sponsor items to sporting events  (uk.news.yahoo.com) (116)
(Canoe) Amusing Man sues airline for not looking at his scrotum  (cnews.canoe.ca) (62)
(SFGate) Photoshop Photoshop this slow pedestrian  (imgs.sfgate.com) (36)
(KeysNews) Florida Once again: You shouldn't be shaving your privates while driving, especially if you have a suspended license: "She was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready"  (keysnews.com) (77)
(SeattlePI) Amusing Undercover cop spends $16,835 on more than 130 lap dances without making a single arrest  (seattlepi.com) (50)
(Telegraph) Strange Woman decapitated by a freak lawnmower accident as she heads off to work  T-Shirt  (telegraph.co.uk) (87)
(The Sun) Interesting 27 year old female ballet teacher has appeared in court accused of abducting one of her boy pupils and having sex with him. With 'I'd hit that like the fist of an angry god' pic  (thesun.co.uk) (127)
(Detroit News) Fail In Detroit, 44% of all adults and 100% of school board presidents read and write below 6th-grade level  (detnews.com) (94)
(CBS 4 Denver) Strange Tranquilized monkeys like to duck behind drug stores and churches when evading capture, apparently  (cbs4denver.com) (24)
(CBS News) Amusing 41 year old female teacher sends nude photos of herself via text to a 15 year old boy. With "Yes I would hit that" picture goodness  (cbsnews.com) (188)

Fri March 05, 2010
(Some Guys) Photoshop Photoshop this aerospace adjustment  (upload.wikimedia.org) (48)
(CNSNews) Amusing Senator says NOAA's red snapper count is fishy  (cnsnews.com) (83)
(CNN) Cool If the view from your Upper East Side penthouse is getting stale, consider a 40,000 square foot estate that has a different view each day  (money.cnn.com) (70)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Bacon. Has crispy smoked pork finally jumped the shark?  (thedailybeast.com) (124)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing We're number one! It's the Mugshot Roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (136)
(Jalopnik) Fail This is the woman who crashed her Honda repeatedly into a Ferrari dealership... well, before she became a meth queen  (jalopnik.com) (36)
(Washington Post) Dumbass An AIG employee on the possibility of losing his blood money: "To be honest with you, I really hope it blows up. I think the U.S. taxpayer deserves to lose a trillion dollars over this thing for the way they have behaved"  (washingtonpost.com) (279)
(Life.com) Hero Puppy rescued from rubble after Chile's week of earthquakes  (life.com) (55)
(Statesman) Dumbass If you're a woman who fancies the bad boy type, perhaps corrections officer isn't an optimal line of business (with surprisingly hittable pic)  (statesman.com) (98)
(The New York Times) Interesting News: The Catholic Church's child abuse scandal spreads to Germany, including to the Regensberg choir. Fark: The Pope's brother led the choir for 30 years  (nytimes.com) (51)
(The Consumerist) Amusing Man banned from all Wal-Marts for life because he refused to show his receipt to a door greeter. Guess he'll shop at K-Mart from now on  (consumerist.com) (512)
(Bangor Daily News) Dumbass Maine man arrested after shooting the Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Batbus  (bangordailynews.com) (38)
(First Coast News) Dumbass News: One man shot in shoulder by another man. News+: After "ramming each other like bumper cars" in road rage. Fark: "It is unclear at this time which driver was shot" according to the Police Detectives  (firstcoastnews.com) (21)
(The Consumerist) Cool There are more bars than grocery stores in many flyover states. Take THAT, you rich, uppity, coast-residing bastards  (consumerist.com) (117)
(Candy Boots) Sick Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. No need to actually make these dishes to slim down, one look at the pictures and you'll lose your appetite for a week  (candyboots.com) (134)
(Chicago Tribune) Asinine If you're a landlord and you want to order the intentional torching of your building, the least you can do is make sure that the family of seven up in the attic isn't home at the time  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (52)
(MSN) Weird "A red kangaroo that is goaded into fighting a human clown is the star attraction at a festival in the US designed to celebrate Australia"  (news.ninemsn.com.au) (48)
(Telegraph) Sappy Hen that thinks it's a dog takes litter of puppies under its wing  (telegraph.co.uk) (59)
(Funny Or Die) Hero Stan Lee pleads his case for winning an Oscar for Best Cameo Artist  (funnyordie.com) (70)
(Village Voice) Weird Gay Catholic ex-stripper awaits birth of twins carried by sister's husband. Ta-da  (blogs.villagevoice.com) (93)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this slick-surface slide  (sportpicture.ru) (41)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Blogger who said Tillicum should have been euthanized, according to the Bible, protests that he never said the whale should be stoned to death. "Even if you wanted to stone a whale, I'm not sure how you'd go about it"  (afa.net) (132)
(NJ.com) Obvious Armed robbers in $1 million perfume warehouse heist who shouted "NYPD, hands up" may be criminals, but at least they're not liars  (nj.com) (43)
(Casey Morans) Cool Chicago Fark Party reminder: Saturday, April 10th, 8pm at Casey Morans. Drew will be there and so will YOU  (caseymorans.com) (125)
(ABC News) Amusing A group coined the Bling Ring burglarized celebrity homes. It was like Mission Impossible meets 90120  (abcnews.go.com) (46)
(wptv.com) Fail If your laptop is stolen it's always a good idea to report it to police. Unless it's loaded with child porn  (wptv.com) (126)
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth) Ironic Texas judge rules death penalty unconstitutional: "I don't think society's mindset is that way now." But this isn't society--it's Texas  (cbs11tv.com) (248)
(ABC News) Dumbass The first clue was that "Prophet" has a homonym  (blogs.abcnews.com) (145)
(ABC News) Followup Pentagon Metro shooter liked to post anti-government rants online that claim our political system attacks moral values. You know, as opposed to shooting random people  (abcnews.go.com) (298)
(Some Guy) Amusing "Sweezy was intoxicated and became irate when I asked him to step off the go-kart and began to curse and yell"  (goupstate.com) (35)
(WZZM 13) PSA Because apparently some people do need to be told this: Craigslist is an entirely inappropriate place to arrange your circumcision  (wzzm13.com) (65)
(ABC News) Amusing San Francisco has hit on a brilliant way to get rid of its sewage treatment byproducts: Call them "high-quality, nutrient-rich, organic bio-solids compost" and get gullible hippy gardeners to haul them away for free  (abcnews.go.com) (155)
(The Smoking Gun) Misc TSG Friday photo fun: Match the tat to the perp  (thesmokinggun.com) (80)
(Breitbart.com) Sad Not news: Some eight-year old princess doesn't want to go to school due to bullying. Fark: She really is a Princess  (breitbart.com) (121)
(Some Guy) Scary Flight attendant apparently knew how to speak dive  (news.ninemsn.com.au) (73)
(Yahoo) Sad Citing the fact that it is just too darned tasty, Japan announces it will not comply with a proposed worldwide ban on fishing Bluefin Tuna designed to help save the potentially endagered species  (news.yahoo.com) (167)
(3 News New Zealand) Dumbass Man claims ownership of entire town, tries to collect rent. Hilarity ensues  (3news.co.nz) (62)
(Komo) Stupid "It was just like Dukes of Hazzard, all four tires in the air. It was crazy" (w/Duke of Stupid mugshot)  (komonews.com) (71)
(My Fox DC) Amusing Motion Picture Association of America's reasons for rating a film PG now include a smoking caterpillar  (myfoxdc.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Hello, police? I need smokes  (sootoday.com) (77)
(AP) News Tour bus crashes south of Phoenix. The dead are expected to rise within the day  T-Shirt  (hosted.ap.org) (90)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this tiring trek  (sportpicture.ru) (46)
(News.com.au) Hero British Chinook pilot hit between eyes by bullet over Afghanistan, flies damaged aircraft back to base, lands safely, lives, and all this with huge brass balls weighing helicopter down  (news.com.au) (248)
(Time) Unlikely In a move sure to burnish its reputation as the toughest, most hardcore branch of America's armed forces, Navy fires captain for cursing out sailors and hurting their feelings  (time.com) (295)
(AOL) Stupid Actual Headline "New Salmonella Recall Raises Questions About Food Safety", so don't order the salmonella  T-Shirt  (aolnews.com) (38)
(Charleston Daily Mail) Asinine Boy shoots dog (bad). Boy is sentenced to jail (good). Boy is allowed out for Hank Williams, Jr. concert because his girlfriend spent a lot of money on the tickets (wtf?)  (dailymail.com) (207)
(Comedy Central) Video Jon Stewart finally went on Chatroulette, and then he ran into Diane Sawyer, Keith Olbermann, Katie Couric and Brian Williams, who was not expecting to see him  (thedailyshow.com) (216)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Study: Men become more accident prone around beautiful women. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go change my shorts  (dailymail.co.uk) (146)
(Guardian.com) Cool 34,000 square foot floating island doubles as a yacht  (guardian.co.uk) (108)
(MSNBC) Interesting It's not your diet of deep fat fried Twinkies, supersized fries and colas and triple double bacon cheeseburgers that is making you fat...it's the germs  (msnbc.msn.com) (129)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this wave of destruction  (sportpicture.ru) (29)
(Grand Rapids News) Asinine Nanny state strikes again. Kindergartener suspended from school for making his fingers into the shape of a gun and pointing it at another student  (mlive.com) (315)
(Some Guy) Cool US and Canada moving to transgenic pork. But you'll know it's fake, since you can tell by the pig cells  T-Shirt  (vancouversun.com) (131)

Thu March 04, 2010
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine You're a lawyer and you lose your coat in the airport. Whom do you sue? a) the airline b) the airport c) the food vendor d) all of the above  (thesmokinggun.com) (139)
(CBC) Asinine Canadian rednecks offer "Native Extraction Services" online. What could possibly go wrong?  (cbc.ca) (100)
(Some Guy) Asinine In a wise use of manpower and resources, cops surround apartment for two hours to wait for a warrant to bust someone for smoking a joint  (greensburgdailynews.com) (372)
(Fox News) Interesting On a tip, police raid house and take away 18 cats, 3 dogs, the homeowners and 1 teen runaway hidden in a wall  (foxnews.com) (51)
(Some Author) Strange An American editor of an Italian journal is sued by an Israeli author for running a negative review by a German about her book which was published in the Netherlands. Obviously, the trial will be held in France  (thebigquestions.com) (53)
(ABC News) Interesting Underwater bubbles caused by gas stir warming fears. Wives still unamused in the tub  (abcnews.go.com) (102)
(ABC News) News You can't shoot in here, this is the Pentagon  (abcnews.go.com) (421)
(AZCentral) Followup So you know that data you destroyed that showed your sheriff's department was racially profiling? Good news - we found it for you  (azcentral.com) (109)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this lion who may or may not be king  (farm4.static.flickr.com) (59)
(Time) Stupid California to pass law creating animal abusers registry. You are not allowed to come within 50 feet of a Petsmart  (time.com) (214)
(Some Guy) Cool Man goes to preserve in hopes of catching a glimpse of rare falcon. Instead gets rare glimpse of eagle attacking an adult deer. With awesome pics  (chicagowildlifenews.com) (92)
(Some Guy) Followup It is perfectly safe to urinate on a downed powerline  (thenewstribune.com) (65)
(Some Guy) Strange Funeral home hopes to drum up business by sponsoring a chili cook-off, offering free limo rides, and hosting a visit by the Easter Bunny. "A funeral home is a living, breathing thing"  (berkshireeagle.com) (47)
(Some Apocalpyse Guy) Sick Acceptable end-of-the-world preparation: Building bunkers, stockpiling food, medicine & guns. Unacceptable end-of-the-world preparation: Impregnating three of your daughters  (northjersey.com) (191)
(Telegraph) PSA Never try to stop a gyrocopter with your head  (telegraph.co.uk) (157)
(BBC) Scary If this Haitian family moves into your neighborhood, you might want to update your earthquake insurance policy  (news.bbc.co.uk) (52)
(PennLive) Obvious Don't panic but Three Mile Island is, um, leaking  (pennlive.com) (280)
(azfamily.com) Interesting From the "So crazy it just might work" department: Arizona lawmakers want to fill abandoned mine shafts with old tires  (azfamily.com) (238)
(Washington Post) Followup Government sources confirm second party involved in JFK incident  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (190)
(AP) Ironic Equal opportunity harrassment: Claims by men against women in the workplace doubling. Fark: Twice as many men also happier  (hosted.ap.org) (97)
(WTMJ) Strange The house? Not enough bathrooms. But good news - plenty of panties  (wauwatosanow.com) (63)
(Boston Globe) Obvious Ocean erodes barrier island. State environmental official says, "There needs to be a comprehensive focus on what is causing this"  (boston.com) (144)
(STLToday) Dumbass To celebrate her birthday, schoolgirl planned to give away lead party favors to 29 of her classmates  (stltoday.com) (171)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this muddy mistress  (cache.boston.com) (42)
(Some Guy) PSA You can help Farker MisterSparkle win a video contest and donate all $250,000 to charity. Cost to you: one mouse click with your clicky mousefinger  (doritosviralocity.ca) (158)
(MSNBC) Amusing China's "Kingdom of the Little People" theme park is both loved and loathed. In other news,China has a dwarf theme park  (msnbc.msn.com) (99)
(Some Guy) Silly Judge orders satirical news Web site to remove a fictional story about a giraffe killing a tourist because it scared Louisianans away from the zoo  (2theadvocate.com) (116)
(Quad City Times) Dumbass After being charged with aggravated assault and drawing a gun on a family because of road rage, woman quits her job. As a police officer  (qctimes.com) (57)
(Pittsburgh Channel) Scary Suicide is a tough decision. A hearty breakfast could help  (thepittsburghchannel.com) (64)
(AOL) Strange Authorities say poor visibility, mountainous terrain, and the lack of anything resembling a coastline for 1,000 miles in any direction may have contributed to a COAST GUARD helicopter crashing in UTAH  (aolnews.com) (66)
(Lifehacker) Amusing National Procrastination Week will be held in a couple of weeks when we get around to it  (lifehacker.com) (47)
(ABC News) Obvious When Al Sharpton is convening a meeting to determine whether you are too big of an embarassment to continue in the public spotlight, it really is time to resign  (abcnews.go.com) (89)
(Washington Post) Interesting You're such an awesomely bright, tired little boy: Parents short-changing their kids with too much praise, too little sleep  (washingtonpost.com) (193)
(Telegraph) Strange Skydiving and Kayaking. Two great flavors, together at last  (telegraph.co.uk) (34)
(ESPN) Cool It's almost that time again. Sign up for 2010 Fark NCAA Tournament Pick'em. Search on Fark, no pw necessary. Duke sucks  (games.espn.go.com) (57)
(Some Guy) Sick 'Parents of the year' front-runners traded sex with their 14-year-old daughter for a 1998 minivan  (truecrimereport.com) (192)
(The Scotsman) Cool Age really is a state of mind  (news.scotsman.com) (42)
(The Daily Show) Weird Sarah Palin Tonight Show standup review: Stewart liked it (with Palin standup goodness)  (thedailyshow.com) (133)
(AJC) PSA Ladies, just because its now trendy to have a relationship with men 20 years younger doesn't give you the right the shoot him. This holds especially true if you're a lobbyist for an anti-domestic violence organization  (ajc.com) (49)
(www.ndtv.com) Fail Swiss company markets child-sized condoms to 12 year olds. Because what 12 year olds want is to be seen buying child-sized condoms  (ndtv.com) (60)
(ABC News) Hero American Cancer Society casts doubt on the value of the UFIA  (abcnews.go.com) (88)
(Brisbane Times) Obvious "A lot of us are screwed", admits porn star  (brisbanetimes.com.au) (380)
(BBC) Interesting Explosives expert uses controlled blast in Boeing 747 to simulate power of underwear bomb from Detroit-bound flight. Cool video on your port side, comments of variable intelligence on your starboard side  (news.bbc.co.uk) (181)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Boston St Patrick's Day Pub Crawl 2010. March 13th. 1pm. DIT. LGT Facebook event. Please leave your mooninites at home  (thefieldpub.com) (75)
(Free Press) Amusing Will Michigan get 400 million to imporve schools?  (freep.com) (80)
(Some Kentucky Guy) Fail Not News: Man loses his job. News: He's a sheriff who improperly used his firearm. Fark: To shoot his way out of the jail cell he locked himself in  (courier-journal.com) (44)
(Gizmodo) Amusing Some people just have the knack for spotting a business opportunity that others would miss  (gizmodo.com) (38)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida "Alicia Butt" blows a .33, urinates on herself. Our job here is done  (nwfdailynews.com) (80)
(STV.tv) Asinine Muslims upset over suicide bombings and terror attacks carried out in their name. Just kidding, they're OUTRAGED because a Scottish pub is named Medina  (news.stv.tv) (331)
(thebigmoney.com) Interesting Ever wonder what a hand model's face looks like? Neither have I. But now you'll know, unfortunately, J.B. Pruett unavailable for comment  (thebigmoney.com) (55)
(Telegraph) Cool Religious reasons may get you out of combat service, medical procedures and explain finicky diets but they won't get you out of airport's naked scanners  (telegraph.co.uk) (171)
(SFGate) Stupid That's nacho cheese: Man gets nearly 8 years for stealing a bag of shredded cheese. Mmmm... cheese  (sfgate.com) (80)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this soaking scientist  (spiegel.de) (34)
(Washington Post) PSA If you just ate a Mrs. Smith's Coconut Custard pie because you thought the "0g Trans Fats" label meant it was good for you, the FDA would like to remind you that just plain old fat is bad for you too  (washingtonpost.com) (67)
(Toronto Star) Dumbass Watching "Survivorman" will provide you with everything you need to know in order to survive in the wilderness. Or maybe not  (thestar.com) (236)
(Fairbanks News-Miner) Dumbass Not news: Man attempts to pass forged check. News: To buy a pickup truck. Fark: While out on bail for attempting the same trick three other times. Responding officer: "What are you doing?" Perp: "Being stupid"  (newsminer.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Amusing Just a normal day at the park; birds singing, people walking their dog, naked woman tied to a tree  (thenewstribune.com) (88)
(News.com.au) Fail "Sex mad" 19-year-old female cop gets fired after trying to fark everything in a uniform. Someone actually complained about this. Why yes, there is a pic  (news.com.au) (229)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 252: "Something's Mising" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (134)

Wed March 03, 2010
(wcnc) Fail Animal control: Your dogs got loose and you can get them back when you fix your fence. Dog owner: fence is fixed, can I have my dogs please? Animal Control: ummm, yeah, about that  (wcnc.com) (256)
(AOL) Fail We arm the world/We arm the children/We want the world to be a deader place/So let's start killin'  (aolnews.com) (114)
(ABC News) Amusing News: Three LA teachers get suspended. Fark: for giving students pictures of O.J. Simpson, Dennis Rodman and RuPaul to carry in Black History Month parade  (abcnews.go.com) (241)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this highly ineffective firefighter  (online.wsj.com) (38)
(CNN) News Today's magnitude 6.4 earthquake rocks... southern Taiwan  (on.cnn.com) (149)
(Huffington Post) News Michelle Bachmann vs Alan Grayson debating health care on Larry King tonight. Popcorn in lap, comments to the right  (huffingtonpost.com) (562)
(BBC) Interesting If you like making lists, you just might be a genius  (news.bbc.co.uk) (137)
(WWMT) Dumbass If you've been tazed twice, maced, and now your only escape vehicle is a 1971 Dodge motor home, give it up man, it's over  (wwmt.com) (37)
(Some Guy) Strange In today's recession, pet washing machines are all the rage in Japan.....Yes Japan (w/video of sad cat getting fluffed)  (blogs.app.com) (126)
(ABC News) Hero British Teenager saves a 5 year old girl in North Carolina from being raped without even having to leave home  (abcnews.go.com) (215)
(wwl) Amusing Headline: Deer breaks through bank window - no bucks missing. (With possessed deer pic)  (wwl.com) (58)
(Haaretz) Dumbass "Going to raid Qatanah in the West Bank with my IDF unit tomorrow." Comment | Like  (haaretz.com) (160)
(ABC News) Hero Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger decides to retire  (abcnews.go.com) (192)
(National Geographic) Sappy Ugly-ass baby tapir makes San Diego Zoo debut...awwwww  (blogs.nationalgeographic.com) (78)
(Dayton Daily News) Dumbass For the record, carving "I luv Mike Welliver" into a tree trunk can be considered romantic gesture. Carving it into your girlfriend's chest, not so much  (daytondailynews.com) (47)
(BBC) Interesting An event, similar to the Tunguska event in the Siberian forest, is the reason why there are no trees left in Antarctica  (news.bbc.co.uk) (95)
(Fox News) Asinine GOP lawmaker wants Reagan to replace Grant on the US $50 bill, because Reagan is the greatest president ever and all Grant did was WIN THE FARKING CIVIL WAR  (foxnews.com) (579)
(Some Guy) Followup German scientists have rubbished NASA scientists who claim that the Chile earthquake moved the Earth's axis by eight centimetres. German scientists: "No chance"  (bild.de) (111)
(Some anthropologist) Interesting The new Whole Foods nutrition rating system ignores the entirety of human evolution in favor of political considerations. Unlike Twinkies, which are awesome and will eventually grow wild in couch-shaped bushes  T-Shirt  (livnaked.com) (180)
(Google) PSA If you happen to find Sidney Crosby's Olympic hockey gloves and stick that he tossed in the air after scoring the winning overtime goal against Team USA, 35 million Canadians would like to have a word with you. You can keep the mouth guard  (google.com) (118)
(ABC News) Scary In the United States people forge drivers licenses to drink underage. In Switzerland people take it to a much higher level  (aolnews.com) (74)
(Reuters) Scary It may be acceptable to bring your child to work, but you shouldn't let your child actually perform your job. Especially if you're an air traffic controller  (reuters.com) (186)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Tampa the coldest it's been since poodle skirts were in style. With pic of what a poodle skirt may look like  (tampabay.com) (99)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup This story about a nurse, some handcuffs and a lot of cash is not about what you think it's about  (suntimes.com) (42)
(Boston Globe) Dumbass Today's "newlywed couple spends their wedding night in jail" is brought to you by Hyannis, Mass  (boston.com) (75)
(ABC News) Followup Charles Rangell (D-ranged) to take 'leave of absence' from chairmanship of House Ways and Means Committee. And just ignore those big paper-shredder trucks outside  (abcnews.go.com) (144)
(Daily Bulletin) Fail Ohhhhh, you meant THAT bloody knife & clothing in the mentally-ill parolee halfway house  (dailybulletin.com) (17)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Religious group wants "Killer" whale punished biblically... and they've got the stones to do it  (huffingtonpost.com) (264)
(Lohud.com) Dumbass NJ family takes down snow Venus de Milo after complaints that it wasn't orange enough  (lohud.com) (112)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this wire worker  (online.wsj.com) (37)
(The Daily Show) Video Jim Bunning is just a d*ck  (thedailyshow.com) (623)
(Stuff) PSA When searching for a flat surface to snort your drugs, always try to avoid the unmarked police cars  (stuff.co.nz) (38)
(Some Guy) Obvious Study shows what you long suspected: multitaskers are just screwing up several things at once  (chronicle.com) (137)
(The Local (Germany)) Strange Animal rights activists call for polar bear to have his Knuts chopped off  (thelocal.de) (64)
(NBC Action News) Followup Man who predicted 40 inch snowfall for March 7th in interview: "I'm some kinda a kook, you know..."  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (64)
(KTAR) Amusing Arizona governor urges people to volunteer. Would offer paid work, but Arizona is currently bankrupt  (ktar.com) (145)
(KVIA) Strange "This incident follows a similar turn of events on Montana Avenue last Friday, when a different emu got loose"  (kvia.com) (45)
(Sky News) Sad Former Labour Party leader Michael Foot dies. He was a living leg end  T-Shirt  (news.sky.com) (109)
(Gothamist) Strange Detached penis goes missing, now most likely on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven down on Second Avenue near St Mark's Place  T-Shirt  (gothamist.com) (118)
(Marketwatch) Followup Greeks bend over in anticipation of the change about to be crammed up their Thermopylae  (marketwatch.com) (107)
(News.com.au) Fail When jumping into a plunge pool after a sauna, make sure it isn't boiling  (news.com.au) (109)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Where's Osama bin Laden?  (images.google.com) (78)
(Daily Mail) Caption Caption this 16th century inscription. No, really. Please  (dailymail.co.uk) (177)
(UPI) Spiffy "Married couples enjoy their best sex, romantic meals and nights out with friends after two years and four months." That's understandable; their friends are probably looking pretty good by then  (upi.com) (206)
(News.com.au) Scary If you're going to tell a guy the vivid details of how you had sex with his ex girlfriend, make sure he's not back together with her. In related news: The Australian term for smashing a glass in someone's face is "glassing"  (news.com.au) (74)
(SMH) Fail Headline: Living together more likely to fail than marriage. Article: Difference is explained by the main reason living together fails - IT ENDS IN MARRIAGE  (smh.com.au) (139)
(Metro) Strange Arsonist in a bikini was sentenced.... nevermind. Enjoy  (metro.co.uk) (240)
(Liverpool Daily Post) Obvious Think atheists don't proselytize? Another myth busted  (liverpooldailypost.co.uk) (722)
(Daily Express) Dumbass River overflows its banks, meter maid sees half-submerged cars. He immediately: (a) jumps in to rescue child, (b) donates money to help victims, (c) places tickets on the flooded cars  (express.co.uk) (72)
(Fox News) Spiffy Life imitates Cinemax. Flight attendant prostitution ring broken  (foxnews.com) (101)
(Some Guy) Asinine Too stupid to learn the terms of your mortgage? The government stepped in to hold your hand. Now whether or not you're too stupid to find your own free credit report the government has decided to hold your hand and show you that way too  (redtape.msnbc.com) (273)
(News.com.au) Fail Drunk cop shows badge to bouncer to demand entry..."I'm here to f------ boogie"  (heraldsun.com.au) (58)

Tue March 02, 2010
(WFSB 3) Hero Nurse manager jumps in front of gunman, takes bullet for coworker; gunman shot in ensuing struggle. Street cred of male nurses increased substantially  (wfsb.com) (101)
(Telegraph) Interesting Drinking to forget can have the opposite effect and lead to more painful memories, jaws, ribs, eye sockets  (telegraph.co.uk) (71)
(WBBM) Amusing Topeka changing name to Google, Kansas. Could Farkansas be next?  (wbbm780.com) (136)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this spark plug inspection  (cache.boston.com) (29)
(Hartford Courant) Interesting Woman goes into labor during her shotgun wedding. Delivers a beatiful little bb boy  T-Shirt  (courant.com) (71)
(fox chicago) Interesting Two women to split $98K in reward money for helping police crack the Brown's Chicken massacre case. Actually, one tipped off police. The other one held back the names of the killers for nine years  (myfoxchicago.com) (76)
(WWL) Amusing Small southern town seeks guidance from state AG in overturning Sunday alocohol ban. AG: "Uhh... your law banning Sunday booze has been illegal for the last 24 years"  (wwl.com) (108)
(Quad City Times) Dumbass Wisconsin tags Iowa into the ring in the fight against FIBs  (qctimes.com) (123)
(ABC News) Interesting Quake shifts attention to undersea U.S. fault. Yeah, yeah, everything is always our fault  (abcnews.go.com) (96)
(officer.com) Florida Attempt to steal ATM with front loader fails. "There was no way that they came up with that sober"  (officer.com) (58)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Human Barbie thinks it's okay to inject her sixteen-year old with botox. Note to self: don't listen to human barbie for beauty advice (w/pic)  (dailymail.co.uk) (327)
(MSNBC) Obvious Add "being so lazy you walk your dog from your car" to the things now illegal in the Nanny State  (msnbc.msn.com) (86)
(Vancouver Sun) Ironic Public safety building declared a hazard to the public  (vancouversun.com) (29)
(brookfield) Stupid "Can I see that $36K diamond ring? I'll be out in the parking lot with it where the light is better"  (brookfieldnow.com) (96)
(Drew) FarkBlog Bus drivers Kramden to storm sewers, coriolis effect swirlies, and 12-parsec intermissions: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/21 - 2/27  (fark.com) (27)
(CNN) Strange It's okay if you bring your 14-month old to the bar. And it's okay if you get sloshed in front of her. But demanding that other patrons "mind their language" and "stop acting so drunk" is just crossing the line  (cnn.com) (388)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this damaged auto and driver  (online.wsj.com) (46)
(Time) Interesting Study suggests parents should treat their children with same respect as pets  (time.com) (117)
(The Smoking Gun) Fail Man arrested by Secret Service swallows flash drive in bid to destroy evidence. Learns device was not compatible to his gastrointestinal tract  (thesmokinggun.com) (106)
(Time) Ironic Children who watch those Baby Wordsworth tapes don't actually learn any words  (time.com) (111)
(Winnipeg Free Press) Followup Punishment pending in the lapdancing teacher incident. Fark: To the students who recorded it  (winnipegfreepress.com) (106)
(Chronicle of Higher Ed) Interesting The story of the rainbow trout in America, the government welfare fish that muscled its way into the nation's coldwater streams  (chronicle.com) (111)
(Telegraph) Dumbass BBC presenter dies in extreme wanking accident  (telegraph.co.uk) (235)
(JSOnline) Dumbass Two high school basketball players will miss the upcoming state tounament because: A) Their grades are poor, B) they are injured, or C) they both punched the referee during their last game  (jsonline.com) (81)
(Mirror.co.uk) Interesting First century Roman crucifixion nail found in archaeological dig -- in an ornate box surrounded by remains of Knights Templar knights  (mirror.co.uk) (423)
(Fox News) Spiffy That fair fare that makes double entendres swell in size is coming home: Pickle Pops  (foxnews.com) (43)
(The News & Observer (NC)) Amusing For maximum street cred, engaging in a high-speed chase with cops is okay. Doing it in a pink Mercury with Hello Kitty vanity plates...not so much  (newsobserver.com) (78)
(AFP) Scary China, one of the last major holdouts to a global warming treaty, is coincidentally conducting research on how they can make an ice-free Arctic benefit them economically  (news.yahoo.com) (117)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Asinine In Malaysia, women can be whipped if they drink a beer in public or have sex out of wedlock. But only Muslim women. Infidel women can be drunken sluts to their heart's content  (theage.com.au) (209)
(Washington Post) Asinine Problem: Utility companies can't afford to build nuclear reactors. Solution: Start charging customers for them before they're built  (washingtonpost.com) (115)
(Reno Gazette-Journal) Asinine Court says lawyers who didn't question witnesses, sumbit evidence, or make opening or closing statements in death row case "did the best they could with what they had"  (rgj.com) (59)
(WANE.com) Sick Is that a sophisticated camera and audio recording system attached to your right shoe and controls for video and audio in your pockets, or are you just happy to see me?  (wane.com) (120)
(Daily Mail) Strange "But no, I haven't lost my marbles. All I can say is that I'm thankful that it didn't rain crocodiles"  (dailymail.co.uk) (39)
(BBC) Silly Small town in Ireland with population of 5,000 issues diplomatic snub to Israel. "We hope it will send a serious message to Israel."  (news.bbc.co.uk) (101)
(Some Guy) Scary They're heeeere. Well, nearly: Top 10 images of distant horror in the movies  (shadowlocked.com) (227)
(Some Guy) Strange Some of the oddest book titles of 2009 are "Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter," "The Changing World of Inflammatory Bowel Disease," and "What Kind of Bean is This Chichuahua"  (heraldsun.com.au) (40)
(Times Tribune) Obvious "A Scranton man who told police three men jumped him and assaulted him with a razor blade Sunday morning actually cut himself by running through the woods shirtless and punching trees, police said"  (thetimes-tribune.com) (87)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you've been drinking and cops pull you over for speeding, you may still be able to get out of a DUI. Until you back into the squad car  (kitsapsun.com) (33)
(ACLU) Hero Sheriff Joe has finally run out of ways to deny female prisoners their constitutional rights, is put on notice by the ACLU  (aclu.org) (917)
(My Fox DC) Strange Man charged with faking his own death, with mugshot that suggests he wasn't faking  (myfoxdc.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Cool If Mythbuster Grant Imahara gets 100,000 followers on Twitter he will build Craig Ferguson a Robot Skeleton Sidekick, and he's only 8,000 away. Perhaps Fark could help make this a reality  (twitter.com) (273)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Oooooh, shiny  (fark.com) (47)
(AZCentral) Dumbass Boy who sped through Air Force base gets charged with murder... for the passenger shot by security in attempt to stop the speeding car  (azcentral.com) (552)
(News.com.au) Dumbass There's a good reason you don't install homemade cardboard roofing insulation while smoking a cigarette  (news.com.au) (25)
(Pocono Record) Dumbass Should I not have threatened to kill students and co-workers? Was that wrong?  (poconorecord.com) (90)
(SFGate) Dumbass Pot found in fifth grader's Fruity Pebbles; no word on the contents of his Honey Smacks  (sfgate.com) (51)
(Google) Amusing In case you missed it, today was Saviours Day 2010, a day where Nation of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan is honored. He spent much of his speech giving advice to President Obama and recalling his 1985 ride aboard a UFO. Good times, good times  (google.com) (119)
(Some Guy) Cool Awesome works of art made from stuff on your desk. I believe Baptiste Debombourg has my stapler  (uproxx.com) (28)
(SMH) Fail Good: Waiting for train to pass before crossing. Bad: Not looking for a train coming the other way  (smh.com.au) (64)

Mon March 01, 2010
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious States may ban credit checks on job applicants after realizing that nobody has good credit anymore  (chicagobreakingbusiness.com) (362)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this double dodol  (inapcache.boston.com) (27)
(BusinessWeek) Scary That Chilean earthquake likely shifted the earth on its axis. EVERYBODY TILT  (businessweek.com) (165)
(ABC News) Strange Owner of building adjacent to Academy Awards arrested for installing illegal "How To Train Your Dragon" sign  (abclocal.go.com) (94)
(Komo) Audio 911 call reporting burglar stuck in chimney. "Quit yer yelling"  (rainiervalley.komonews.com) (63)
(Fox News) Dumbass 7-month old girl survives brush with death from parents' suicidal pact. Tag is for the parents, who did this out of fear of (wait for it... ): Global warming  (foxnews.com) (415)
(AFP) Asinine "For advice on confessing, press one. To confess, press two. To listen to some confessions, press three."  (news.yahoo.com) (58)
(My Fox DC) Scary While crime tends to show an initial decrease during periods of heavy snowfall, local precincts must be prepared for mobile home snow shovel hillbilly second-degree assault rebounds  (myfoxdc.com) (28)
(Seattle Times) Interesting NATO warship sinks pirate ship off Somalia. Article sinks nautical terms per sentence record  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (222)
(WSBT) PSA If you're going to shoplift supplies for your meth lab from Kmart, make sure you at least leave the lab at home  (wsbt.com) (38)
(NJ.com) Obvious Who would have guessed an outfit named "Wiseguy Tickets" would hire Bulgarian computer programmers to hack concert ticket Web sites to scoop up tickets to resell to brokers?  (nj.com) (57)
(Metro) Followup 140-year-old hot dog was a hoax. I feel so betrayed. Someone hold me  (metro.co.uk) (63)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this deity dancer  (online.wsj.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Silly Colorado Springs has about 75 crossdressers, so the police undergo special training to learn how to be nice to them. Redheaded left-handed blind gay Turkish leather fetishists immediately complain about being ignored  (gazette.com) (193)
(PC Magazine) Obvious Pew report shows Americans 'graze' news. Pew Pew Pew  (pcmag.com) (51)
(WLWT.COM) Followup Man who bulldozed home ahead of foreclosure gets his eureka moment too late: auction his carpet business  (wlwt.com) (49)
(The Consumerist) Strange Criminal masterminds rob a Domino's delivery driver and steal $36 worth of chicken wings  (consumerist.com) (65)
(Detroit News) Dumbass Reason number 8,762,592 why Detroit can't have nice things: $600,000 fire truck T-boned by train after being parked on tracks  (detnews.com) (167)
(Boston Herald) Scary Go to lovely Yosemite national park this spring. See the redwoods, visit Glacier Point, and stumble upon the Mexican drug gangs growing marijuana  (news.bostonherald.com) (179)
(AP) Silly Caution for vegetable squeamish: genetically altered sugar beets subject of lawsuit. Your sweet tooth at risk  (hosted.ap.org) (62)
(Holland Sentinel) Dumbass If you're a prosecutor, remember there is a difference between "copping a plea" and "copping a feel." They are not the same thing  (hollandsentinel.com) (57)
(SMH) Weird Japan's most bizarre museums feature parasites, luggage, vintage advertising, tobacco, salt, socks, and laundry. Not all at one time, of course  (smh.com.au) (63)
(CentreDaily) Amusing "...the worst we saw yesterday was a drunk young man pooping (in broad daylight) in the front yard of our neighbors across the street - he had to use snow as toilet paper which is a bit of a consolation I guess."  (centredaily.com) (178)
(Globe and Mail) Obvious ♪Look for the union label when you are getting threatened vandalized or beatdown.♫  (theglobeandmail.com) (214)
(Northern Advocate) Ironic Police say roadside speed display signs are for entertainment only and should not be taken as an accurate indication of your speed  (northernadvocate.co.nz) (134)
(The Consumerist) Silly Have disposable income and don't know the best way to spend it? How about some cashmere toilet paper?  (consumerist.com) (82)
(9 News) Asinine Not news: Woman has her house sold via auction because she couldn't pay her bill. Fark: A $68 bill from the dentist  (9news.com) (188)
(Salon) Dumbass Pat Robertson offers compassionate words of encouragement to the people of Chile over their natural tragedy. Just kidding. He says they had it coming for making god angry. Bonus:"...personal hero of mine, Augusto Pinochet"  (open.salon.com) (194)
(Washington Post) Interesting "Crammers" may be sneaking bogus charges onto your phone bill for their own profit, which is a total rip-off of the phone company's business model  (washingtonpost.com) (40)
(My Fox DC) Amusing The scene resembled a teenager's bedroom, except for all the naked women  (myfoxdc.com) (69)
(Some Air Traffic Controller) Interesting Drunk and naked? Time to head to the airport and divert landing planes  (topofthenudes.com) (32)
(Time) Asinine Guy gets six-figure book deal for (seriously) "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"  (time.com) (164)
(News.com.au) Strange Something old, something new, something borrowed, and one sex-crazed elephant  (news.com.au) (23)
(Yahoo) Obvious Marijuana use can up the risk of psychosis, according to some scientists THAT I WANT TO KILL  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (497)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this hair flare  (online.wsj.com) (30)
(Google) Sad New study indicates approximately 1 in 4 adults now suffers from some form of intellectual disability  (google.com) (241)
(Fox News) Florida "Alright buddy, I saw you feeding that homeless guy over there. Where's your license? Don't have one? Well, you're taking a trip downtown"  (foxnews.com) (243)
(SMH) Dumbass Novelist says girls are ready to have children and run a household by age 14  (smh.com.au) (330)
(WHIO Dayton) Dumbass When babysitting grandchild, do you... a) See a movie, b) Go the park, c) Stage a hostage situation in a metropolitan area  (whiotv.com) (29)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Dumbass Bad: You get in a car accident . Worse: you knock down a power line. Fark: you piss on a live wire and electrocute yourself  (startribune.com) (16)
(The New York Times) Scary There are now bacteria so powerful, the only antibiotics strong enough to kill them (maybe) will also shut down your kidneys. Thanks a lot, Purell  (nytimes.com) (278)
(The New York Times) Hero Former homeless guy now a culinary star - mobs line up for his sandwiches  (bayarea.blogs.nytimes.com) (99)
(Mlive.com) Amusing Actual headline: Man arrested after shooting up hotel room in Albion, putting alarm clock in microwave and leaving note saying 'God delivered me from evil and placed me in Albion'  (mlive.com) (68)
(News.com.au) Photoshop Photoshop this epic swimmer  (resources3.news.com.au) (34)
(Telegraph) Cool 75 year old finds dinosaur fossil in his garden  (telegraph.co.uk) (86)

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