Drew Curtis' FARK.com -- Archives for 2009-08-09

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Sun August 09, 2009

Source	Fark Headline		Comments
		Behold -- the cosmetics commercial that has 100,000 Swedes scared shaitless... for no apparent reason (youtube.com)	(305)
		Smokey the Bear turns 65, tells kids only they can prevent forest fires, get off his lawn (examiner.com)	(74)
		A fifth of Europe will be Muslim in 25 years. This is not a repeat from 1100 (telegraph.co.uk)	(290)
		/usr/bin/python -c "import cat" (telegraph.co.uk)	(215)
		Everything we really need to know we learned in John Hughes' movies (huffingtonpost.com)	(76)
(Some Guy)		Two injured in chemical explosion. Au Te-H H-U-Mn-I-Ti (theindychannel.com)	(128)
(Some Waxy Guy)		Photoshop this aural investigation (excavatedartauthenticity.com)	(23)
		Plain and simple: DO NOT FEED THE BEARS (denverpost.com)	(140)
		"That squirrel understood English." (network.nationalpost.com)	(40)
		Former Jack Daniel's master distiller has uncorked his last bottle. His ashes to be stored in an oak barrel for 4-6 years before his wake (msnbc.msn.com)	(100)
(Some Guy)		Gas prices up a dime over the past week, down 50% since last year. People still whine about the dime (dailyfueleconomytip.com)	(135)
		How do you think he does it? What makes him so good? (boston.com)	(78)
		, the story of (nytimes.com)	(198)
		Exercise won't make you thin. Here comes the science (time.com)	(273)
(WebMD)		Experts say 5% of kids are spoiled rotten. Apparently, they don't live where subby does (webmd.com)	(64)
		"Cash for cars? John Wayne in a Stetson hat sitting tall in the saddle. Cash for health care? Sacha Baron Cohen in a lime green thong mincing over to pick your pocket." (suntimes.com)	(134)
		Students who graduate early from high school will not receive a diploma, as it lessens the achievement of those who attend all four years. Punish the smart people; they'll just move and leave you with your own private Idiocracy (miamiherald.com)	(178)
(Some Guy)		Thanks to d-bag spree killers posting blogs and videos of their plans police are taking a closer look at monitoring the internet (officer.com)	(92)
		Director of the Illinois Department of Health Insurance is pushing to get same-sex couples benefits traditional couples receive, thirteen years after his partner committed suicide because he lost his job and insurance (chicagotribune.com)	(368)
		Photoshop this cream puff specialist (media.jsonline.com)	(26)
		Random drug tests for athletes are approved in Illinois. Apparently high school students don't have as good a union as pro athletes do (wbbm780.com)	(51)
		Pen doctor fixes vintage fountain pens at America's largest pen show. Pens (washingtonpost.com)	(88)
		That foot found at a NY recycling center? Turns out it belonged to a bear. You'd think police could recognize a bearclaw when they see one (newsday.com)	(54)
		According to FoxNews, Amsterdam is a corrupt cesspool, things have gone amok, social tolerance has backfired, everything is out of control..it's anarchy. One resident responds (boingboing.net)	(226)
		Britain must produce more food 'to prevent world hunger.' Because nothing is going to cure world hunger like more British food (news.scotsman.com)	(102)
		In our latest episode of "Where In The World Is Madeleine McCann", our intrepid explorers travel down under to mysterious Australia in search of a "mystery woman" (upi.com)	(38)
		Reporters fail at understanding their spawn's online conversations, succeed at violating Drew's copyright (online.wsj.com)	(160)
		When the going gets tough, the tough get going... to the buffet line (abcnews.go.com)	(81)
		I took my love and I took it down / I climbed a mountain and I turned around / And I saw the destruction of the mud covered hills / Well the landslide brought me down (upi.com)	(19)
		Columnist says kids should dress more appropriately for school, get off her lawn (pennlive.com)	(274)
(This is Somerset)		"I now pronounce you horse and wife." (thisissomerset.co.uk)	(66)
(Fosters.com)		Those from the New England area don't really care how it's pronounced, it's just an awesome ride. Kancamagus Highway turns 50 (fosters.com)	(83)
		Birthplace of Vespasian found, ending 2000 year debate over whether he was a Roman citizen or was in fact born in Kenya (news.yahoo.com)	(89)
		Church hosts "Theology on Tap," discussions of faith over beer. "I don't want to be late for drinking with Jesus." (statesman.com)	(88)
		Greenpeace plan to stop bottom trawling in overfished areas by dropping large rocks onto the seabed. Where is your cod now? (thelocal.se)	(116)
(Vail Daily)		"All you people who drive gas-guzzling SUVs out there, you are all terrorists. You need to be immediately arrested, jailed, sent to prison and have your vehicles forcibly confiscated." The tree-huggers in Vail have had it with you (vaildaily.com)	(251)
		In case you ever make it out of your mom's basement, here are some etiquette mistakes to avoid in your travels around the world (food.yahoo.com)	(108)
		It's NOT an 7.1 earthquake: Godzilla is entering Tokyo (foxnews.com)	(94)
(Well, I'll Be)		Photoshop this wallaby ward (s.wsj.net)	(22)
(Some Guy)		Caption this dolphin and dog (s3.amazonaws.com)	(42)
(Some Guy)		"Argument of the week: Should high heels be banished from work?" (sundayherald.com)	(365)
		Hot dog vendor evicted form his corner because he couldn't pay his $53,558 monthly rent (nydailynews.com)	(179)
		Not News: Kenyan Man offers dowry, News: for Chelsea Clinton 9 years ago, FARK: SecState Clinton asks if the offer is still available (edition.cnn.com)	(48)
		47 forced to spend the night in small plane after it was diverted to an airport where the TSA screeners had gone home for the night, so they wouldn't let them off (startribune.com)	(218)
(Lohud.com)		It was just another one of those nights where five people locked inside a church with no way to get out are freed when a cab whose driver is being choked by a robber crashes into the church (lohud.com)	(32)
		So I watched this pilot crash a wedding (pics in link, DIT) (picasaweb.google.com)	(59)
		MMmmm, Mice on a Stick: "The mice are hunted in corn fields after the harvest when they have grown plump on a diet of grains, fruits, grass and the odd insect." (news.yahoo.com)	(56)
		Australia plans to shoot camels from helicopters after complaints they've been breaking into people's houses and using their bathrooms (news.sky.com)	(45)
(Some Guy)		Signs that your town is farked: The mayor takes the town employee's salaries to buy lottery tickets to cover the town's budget (ansa.it)	(25)
		Music festival to be held on pig farm, but only after organizers agree to buy earplugs for the pigs (dailyexpress.co.uk)	(32)
(Some Guy)		Scottish sniper kills Taliban fighter with longest shot ever in Afghanistan: "I was quite proud of that shot. I am going to use that fact as a chat-up line in the pub when I get back home" (dailyexpress.co.uk)	(394)

Sat August 08, 2009

	Construction worker's wireless video equipment intercepts signal from hidden cameras man placed in his stepdaughter's bedroom and bathroom. Awkward (cnews.canoe.ca)	(180)
(RUFKM.NET)	Man confused as Target employee gets into heated confrontation with Wilford Brimley. Yes, he was shopping for oatmeal (rufkm.net)	(175)
(Some Guy)	In meth labs, as in real estate, it's location, location, location. Like, not across the street from the police station (www2.dothaneagle.com)	(42)
	Actor chooses new baby at adoption fair. In other news, there are adoption fairs (people.com)	(86)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this couch carrier (s.wsj.net)	(27)
	This former speech writer for president, anyone, anyone? Nixon. Who is a former host of a game anyone, anyone? Show. Got fired from the New York anyone? anyone? Times for hawking a crappy credit monitoring anyone? anyone? service (examiner.com)	(178)
(City Journal)	Adjusting for the cost of living, New York ranks as the the poorest city and state in the Union. But it's totally worth 800K to get a studio in TriBeCa (city-journal.org)	(251)
	Old and busted: baking a file into a cake. The new hotness: smuggling a gun into jail hidden in your fat rolls (news.aol.com)	(69)
	Not news: Luxury resort offers discounts to woo travelers. News: Rooms are $19 a night Fark: Bring a tent, because the room is all you get (cnn.com)	(86)
	"Hey, you got small plane in my helicopter" ... "Hey, YOU got helicopter in my small plane" (news.bbc.co.uk)	(156)
(Some Guy)	Taliban: "Mehsud isn't dead." World: "Okay, where is he?" Taliban: "Hanging out with Bin Laden, of course." (english.aljazeera.net)	(36)
	Nearly six out of ten drivers in the U.S. are as dangerous as a drunk driver. And the news gets worse from there (news.yahoo.com)	(177)
(Some Guy)	We've seen the bacon bra , the beef jerky brief and now Keds has unveiled the Bacon Shoe (inventorspot.com)	(44)
(The Pulse)	"You can't walk around naked in your back yard wearing only a crown of vines...remember?" ... "That's on appeal." (chattanoogapulse.com)	(37)
	Six things about car tail fins that you probably already knew (autos.aol.com)	(84)
	Russia plans a slight increase in military spending in 2010. EVERYBODY PANIC (upi.com)	(74)
	Campus hairstylist fired for being too flamboyant. With faaaaabulous pic (philly.com)	(182)
	Billy Mays didn't use cocaine, David Carradine wasn't a kinky masturbater and grieving families in denial don't seem to understand forensic evidence (foxnews.com)	(122)
	Who cares about the stupid cats? Dogs in America: pampered and proud of it (abcnews.go.com)	(98)
	Congressman blocking Countrywide subpoena received two free Countrywide mortgages. Not that there's anything wrong with that (bloomberg.com)	(112)
	After three years, woman wins right to smoke in her own backyard (thelocal.se)	(116)
(The Sub-Standard)	If you're trying to impress a judge and get bail, don't appear in court wearing no shirt and a huge "F*ck the police" tattoo across your back. Or be like this idiot. Your call (second item) (thewhig.com)	(45)
	Because of Paris Hilton and Lady Gaga we have 11-year-olds wearing Gucci and demanding boob jobs: "She has 35 pairs of designer shoes and because her feet are still growing, sometimes she only wears them once" (dailymail.co.uk)	(347)
	U.S. researchers say some people may be more susceptible to irrelevant stimuli than others oh look , a kitty (upi.com)	(39)
	Why are so many planes falling off the sky? Daily Mail has the answers, plus tips such as "sitting near the back is slightly safer" and "the aisle seats are less risky" (dailymail.co.uk)	(50)
	Twelve fun facts in pickle history (cnn.com)	(70)
(WTOL)	Two home-invaders with guns versus a lady with a can of peas. This being Fark, you can guess who won (wtol.com)	(68)
	"Loyd was arrested after workers saw him rolling in mud and acting like a dog. Loyd had ingested so much mud that he started throwing up mud when he was jailed." (chron.com)	(36)
	Fire brigade called to rescue pensioner chased up a tree by a cow (thesun.co.uk)	(16)
(Some Guy)	Here's news that you didn't need to be told: Alcoholics often experts at hiding it (wmtw.com)	(220)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this Tokyo night street scene (sonyinsider.com)	(45)
	English town offers graffiti classes for children to improve their spray can technique (upi.com)	(18)
	That Swine Flu 'Expert' on the other end of the panic line? Yeah; it's a 16-year-old with three hours training (dailymail.co.uk)	(39)
(KDVR.com)	Not News: Benjamin the cat was shot in the face last April. News: His Vet paid for multiple surgeries required. Fark: He is now healthy and looking for a home in time for Caturday. UltraFark: His purr goes to 11 (watch the video) (kdvr.com)	(394)
(NJ Newsroom)	Gay man visits fortune teller. Psychic tells customer "he was going to hell". Hilarity ensues (newjerseynewsroom.com)	(119)
(WPIX)	Homeless mom caught having sex in a library bathroom; police have a good idea who they are looking for but not who she is looking at (w/mugshot) (wpix.com)	(72)
	Man accused of stealing a single banana finally acquitted after court case costing £20,000. Yes, he still has no bananas (dailymail.co.uk)	(43)
	It certainly makes sense that you'd keep a pile of rocks in your car to throw at other bad drivers (wbbm780.com)	(76)
(Some Guy)	Chinese woman marries in 1.4-mile long wedding dress that required aerial photos to show it all (mailonsunday.co.uk)	(79)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop these bridges to somewhere (markshannon.com)	(25)
	How women are bullying men into becoming house husbands - and even the wives hate the outcome: "We don't actually want men like that, and we end up eventually resenting them for not being more dominant" (dailymail.co.uk)	(212)
	Mouse builds nest in Oregon ATM using shredded $20 bills (abcnews.go.com)	(89)
	It's not every day you see a sheep dangling from a telephone wire - but today happens to be that day (thesun.co.uk)	(72)
(Some Guy)	Man pulls shotgun on his brother in argument over a sandwich (mycentraljersey.com)	(97)
	...and the circle of stupid is complete. Sarah Palin says that Obama's "Death Panel" could have her Down Syndrome baby killed (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com)	(869)

Fri August 07, 2009

(madison.com)	"The drunk police intern said he was an undercover detective, pointed his index finger with his thumb up, like a gun, at the men, and ordered them to the ground. It is anticipated his internship will be ending." (madison.com)	(53)
	Top 10 Worst Corporate Name Changes (time.com)	(290)
	Photoshop theme: Shiny things (fark.com)	(57)
	The Smoking Gun's weekend mugshot roundup is a study in beards, and lack thereof (thesmokinggun.com)	(256)
(Some Guy)	New golf course has the latest in green features and hazards: sand traps, ponds, a human arm lying in the rough -- wait, what? (wbir.com)	(43)
(Some Guy)	More and more prisons are charging inmates for room and board, which means ex-cons walk out with a huge debt, which means they often resort to crime to pay it back, which means they often end up back in prison... oh, I get it (pantagraph.com)	(215)
(Madison.com)	Man who had penis glued by spited lovers is also a child abuser, in the running for husband/father of the year (madison.com)	(75)
	Not news: Lawyer isn't licensed to practice in Wisconsin. Fark: She's the governor's top legal counsel (jsonline.com)	(73)
(Some Julia Child Gal)	"Then I got to cook the boiled bacon IN BUTTER. BACON COOKED IN BUTTER. I take it back, the French are great." (cinemablend.com)	(158)
	Hi, Billy Mays here for White Lines Pro (www2.tbo.com)	(224)
	Two men accused of lassoing a bull and dragging it around with their car. "He is just a stubborn bull. I did not do anything wrong," (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(51)
(Some Guy)	"Signed, John Hughes" - long time penpal of the 80's director shares why he got out of Hollywood and why movies sucked more because he did (wellknowwhenwegetthere.blogspot.com)	(156)
(Some Guy)	Glasgow to host world's biggest bagpipe festivals, giving the poor bastards with the misfortune to have to live there another reason to envy the dead (theherald.co.uk)	(61)
(Politics Daily)	Study shows atheists are as happy as everybody else (with pics of what happy atheists might look like) (politicsdaily.com)	(608)
	Woman cites unethical behaviour in organization and gets banned from the premises for bringing it to their attention. Organization is under state investigation. Such is the tangled web of intrigue when there's bingo at the VFW (khou.com)	(93)
	In a rude awakening, cop cites homeless man for sleeping in no-sleeping zone (nwfdailynews.com)	(116)
(WSMV)	Milk tanker overturns on Tennessee highway, local residents urged not to cry (wsmv.com)	(62)
(Some Guy)	Founding partner of John Ashcroft's Law firm and former aide to Dick Cheney accused of planting spyware on the work computer of her husband during their divorce. Huh. Wonder where she could have gotten the idea to do that? (courthousenews.com)	(74)
	Unidentified severed finger neither human nor animal, but it is nicely manicured (cbs3.com)	(112)
	Friday Photo Fun with a socially responsible twist. Match the band to the carbon footprint. Contest ends a 4pm Eastern (thesmokinggun.com)	(146)
(Some Guy)	Ok guys...what would it take for you to take your wife's name in marriage? LGT the blog of maybe the most whipped man on the planet (momlogic.com)	(815)
(Some Guy)	Not news: paraplegic man fined $25 in 2005 for driving his wheelchair van off of his driveway, on his own property. News: he now owes $7200.00 for the fine, and the city is turning off his water until he pays (floridatoday.com)	(97)
	If you've posted nude photos of Vanessa Hudgens, prepare to get sued. So, what have we learned about Hudgens? She's got decent knockers, she's litigious, and she needs a shave (abcnews.go.com)	(233)
	"Sparkly Vampire" vacation plans are apparently the new trend. If only there were a fail tag (news.yahoo.com)	(218)
	Not News: Philly police officers beat the crap out of 3 black guys on video after a high speed chase. News: Police Chiefs cans them upon seeing the video Fark: Grand Jury sees nothing wrong and refuses to indict them (msnbc.msn.com)	(180)
(Politifact)	One of the perks of Congress: It's completely legal to engage in insider trading (politifact.com)	(116)
	OCD national meeting draws past, present sufferers, lots of handwashing, key turning. Marc Summers too busy straightening the rug to comment (google.com)	(160)
	What is really playing in those background monitors on TV newsroom sets (myfoxdc.com)	(66)
	Early Brits may have been cannibals, which is completely understandable when you consider British cuisine (news.bbc.co.uk)	(73)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop these side-by-side sisters (1.bp.blogspot.com)	(34)
	Schools may serve as swine flu immunization centers, epicenter of zombie plague (usatoday.com)	(41)
(Some Guy)	Vancouver, B.C: "the most depressing place in the world" (vancouversun.com)	(258)
	Baltimore police breathe huge sigh of relief after firing their internal investigator that went all investigaty on them (baltimoresun.com)	(53)
	14-year-old boy crashes SUV into gas station while attempting to drive himself to the store for Skittles. Taste The Rubble (11alive.com)	(45)
	Remember the Crow In Aesop's fable who got the water out the pitcher by dropping stones in? Turns out, crows actually know how to do that (news.yahoo.com)	(86)
	Lobsters 2 People 0 (www2.tbo.com)	(68)
	Michelle Obama dispatches three secret service agents to restaurant's kitchen to ensure her hamburgers get grilled to her specifications, right after they confiscate everyone's cell phones and slap some paparazzi around (nypost.com)	(736)
	Husband of NY wrong way driving wife says she was not alcoholic, he is represented by Domonic Barbara, frequent caller to the Howard Stern show, so this will of course end well (news.aol.com)	(123)
	Owner claims cat was secretly downloading kitty porn (sun-sentinel.com)	(118)
(Some Guy)	Ten telltale symptoms that you may be becoming a Republican (opednews.com)	(478)
(Some Guy)	"Hey, remember how we threw you in jail 18 months ago because of a bloody palm print at your brother's murder scene? Well, it turns out we actually forgot to test it for blood. Sorry about that." (dispatch.com)	(62)
	86 year-old woman faces 61st arrest. With pic of Martin Landau for some reason (wtop.com)	(28)
	What? You haven't heard of the MSG defense? (wbztv.com)	(34)
	Justice Dept. questioned about dismissing its case against Black Panther members for voter intimidation after it had already won the case in court (washingtontimes.com)	(179)
	Cash for clunker refrigerators? It's more likely than you think (greeninc.blogs.nytimes.com)	(106)
	Michael Jackson's brain returned to family after coroners wring one last album out of it (nypost.com)	(50)
	5-year-old boy pulls on inflatable armbands and rescues drowning dad (thelocal.se)	(51)
	So, those two journalists that were held by North Korea? Yeah, turns out they deserved it (cnn.com)	(348)
(Florida Today)	Suspected pot growing home catches fire with photos. Check out the fireman in the photo (floridatoday.com)	(81)
	Worst possible sign of the bad economy: More people are becoming stand-up comics (wbbm780.com)	(97)
	The G.I. Joe movie is terrible. So, now you know and knowing is half the battle (telegraph.co.uk)	(357)
	St. Louis teacher resigns after drunkenly attacking a wheelchair-bound usher at Busch Stadium who wanted to talk to her about her drunkenness. Then she went after an alcohol compliance manager at the stadium (mugshot) (stltoday.com)	(53)
	"Losing patience with Israel:" Written by anti-sem.. err.. IDF veteran Bob Kaplan (theatlantic.com)	(169)
	Lexington, Kentucky meter maids now throwing in a free beatdown with every parking ticket written (kentucky.com)	(31)
	Unemployment drops to 9.4%. Suck it, teabaggers (news.yahoo.com)	(790)
	Chicago Fark Party final reminder: TOMORROW NIGHT at the Lincoln Tap Room, 8pm (fark.com)	(29)
	Clearly wanting to make new QB Kyle Orton feel at home, Bronco's fans boo Orton's interceptions in last night's practice (670thescore.stats.com)	(58)
(The London Paper)	Giant sperm-shaped furniture to heal broken hearts (with pics) (thelondonpaper.com)	(45)
	Study finds more women drinking, leading to more DUIs, fewer IUDs (590klbj.com)	(111)
(Some Guy)	"Yeah, Geico? You're not going to believe this... a horse just ran over my car." (news.ninemsn.com.au)	(39)
	Dingo attacks four-year-old. You would have thought it would have been full after eating that baby (news.com.au)	(71)
	Pakistani eunuchs begin aggressive battle to defend their rights. That takes balls (cnn.com)	(43)
(Some Guy)	Just like with pet cats, indoor prostitutes lead a healthier, longer life than outdoor prostitutes (newsblog.projo.com)	(103)
	Herd of deer force Australian school into lockdown. Doe! (news.com.au)	(37)
(Scared of Needles)	News: Fake nurse found out after throwing herself "Nurse of the Year" party. Fark: Her name is Betty (nbcconnecticut.com)	(44)
	Dude, if you grope a Greek chick, but she tells you to stop it, let her go, man, because she might pour her drink down your pants and light your junk on fire (telegraph.co.uk)	(151)
	Old and busted: banging the teacher. New ballsiness: banging the principal's wife. With "mmmeeehhh... maybe" mugshot (waaytv.com)	(114)
	Photoshop the entrance to Snow Jade (microecos.files.wordpress.com)	(32)
	Girl with minor drug charges pushed by police into doing a drug bust- with no supervision, no training, no legal permission, no backup...and is shot and killed. Police then smear her as a known drug dealer and say she faced felony charges (abcnews.go.com)	(376)
(SF Weekly)	Cops to dude they pulled over: Are you drunk? Dude to cops: F*@k yeh (blogs.sfweekly.com)	(38)
	Eight-year-old girl learns hard lesson about government as city shuts down her unlicensed lemonade stand (fresnobee.com)	(109)
	Never EVER mess with this woman's condiments (azcentral.com)	(112)
	Brothers who "didn't taunt" tiger at zoo that killed their friend play another game of "let's see how long it takes for a responsible person to intervene before someone dies." (foxnews.com)	(216)

Thu August 06, 2009

(Some Guy)	Photoshop this ER desk (mdnewssouthernnevada.com)	(50)
	The right way: woman finds pipe bomb in her garage left by previous owners, immediately reports it to police. The wrong way: ...by driving it there herself, over 10 miles away (news.yahoo.com)	(81)
(Some Guy)	American legal system now has the power to raise people from the dead. Or maybe I misunderstood this headline (wsbradio.com)	(54)
(Some Guy)	Woman drinks vodka. Beer. Tequila. Rolls out of bed. And right out the window of her fifth-story apartment (coloradodaily.com)	(83)
(Some Guy)	New Orleans DA asks city government to stop arresting people caught with marijuana. "Many of these people could be given essentially a traffic ticket." (wwl.com)	(383)
	Don't you, forget about him. Don't, don't, don't, don't (blog.newsweek.com)	(584)
(copenhagenize.com)	"A walking helmet is a good helmet" At least cyclists won't have to look dorky alone anymore (copenhagenize.com)	(144)
	Hey, which PS contests have you enjoyed on Fark? Provide links to threads. (Voting enabled) (fark.com)	(190)
(TSP)	Indiana cop is arrested with nude photos of a 16-year-old girl he took, counterfit $20 bills and a fake driver's licence. Police Chief: "We believe this happened during his off-duty status" (thestarpress.com)	(123)
(Cute Overload)	Ugly ass baby bears with their mom at a lake. If they wouldn't rip me to shreds and feast on my corpse in 5 years, I'd totally want one. Cute baby animal trifecta in play (cuteoverload.com)	(48)
(Some Guy)	The best picture of a passed out drunk Oompa Loompa being wheeled on a bellhop's cart you'll see today (celebrityclubber.com)	(88)
	US Senate confirms first wise Latina to the Supreme Court (wcbs880.com)	(411)
	Photoshop theme: The American Dream (fark.com)	(82)
	Clarence Thomas sleeping in WalMart parking lots (blogs.wsj.com)	(237)
	Behind the smile: The horrible truth about Bob from Enzyte (not safe for work language) (cracked.com)	(247)
	Most expensive bottle of whiskey in the world sold for £11,750, even though it's 80 years old and would probably taste like ass until you mixed it with some Gatorade (thesun.co.uk)	(377)
(a Haughty revelation)	Incredibly, President George W. Bush told French President Jacques Chirac in early 2003 that Iraq must be invaded to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible's satanic agents of the Apocalypse (secularhumanism.org)	(569)
	Anchor 1: "A Burger King manager called the cops because a mom's baby didn't have shoes." Anchor 2: "Well, there's two sides to every story." Anchor 1: "Not this time. The manager's an idiot" (cnn.com)	(454)
	APA examines 83 studies conducted over 49 years and finds that "gay-to-straight" therapy not only doesn't work, but may in fact be harmful. Ted Haggard weeping silently into his hanky (google.com)	(457)
	Hero duck mom rescues her stranded ducklings. If these pics were any sweeter, clicking on the link would give you diabetes (metro.co.uk)	(90)
	If you lost part of your airplane, it hit a Michigan man on the shoulder while he was standing in his yard. You can claim it from the FAA (upi.com)	(72)
	64 years ago today, the United States became the first and only nation to ever use nuclear weapons against an enemy (google.com)	(lots)
	Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler falls from stage during concert; lips reported in good condition (wbbm780.com)	(133)
	Sam the Koala, noted bush fire survivor, killed by chlamydia. Chlamydia: it's not a flower (edition.cnn.com)	(87)
(Some Guy)	"Workers excavating an old South Carolina cemetery have uncovered hundreds of sets of human remains." (thestate.com)	(87)
	What has 3500 kids, 50 cops, rock music, gang fights in the parking lot, and looting at a nearby Wal-Mart? Why, it's a Christian Youth Night at the local waterpark (tulsaworld.com)	(229)
(not James Tyler Markle)	James Tyler Markle, of Pranknet fame, says that the picture of James Tyler Markle looks a lot like James Tyler Markle, but it's not James Tyler Markle (lufkindailynews.com)	(178)
	Warning of violence issued after man attacks couple in Tobago. He must've been a good runner, because those things go really fast downhill (news.bbc.co.uk)	(39)
	Australian city outraged as swimming club declares that kids should compete against each other even if it means one kid wins and other kids lose. Spokesman: "Children have to learn to deal with not winning" (news.com.au)	(289)
	Dumbest 12-year-old boy ever informs his mom that his subscription to Electronic Gaming Magazine was replaced with Maxim (wbztv.com)	(293)
(WJLA)	DC offers free STD tests to high school students. Who wants teachers catching anything these days? (wjla.com)	(148)
	Theme: more fun than a barrel of ________________ (LGT inspiration) (en.wikipedia.org)	(51)
(Madison.com)	Man killed for stealing killers' psychic energy and because he was jealous of killers' musical talents. With a sword. Then it gets weird (madison.com)	(86)
	Police looking for victim of brazen gas station kidnapping. Victim is described as a yellow male with large eyebrows, approx. 3 feet tall, last seen wearing white gloves and white shoes (photo) (suburbanjournals.stltoday.com)	(59)
	Small town in India home to 230 sets of twins. Thank you birth again (in.reuters.com)	(72)
	If you had Squeaky Fromme in the "Which of the Crackpot Would-be Assassins Will Be Released First" pool, collect your prize (wbbm780.com)	(121)
	Man tries novel DUI defense, says he's too fat to be given field sobriety tests (seacoastonline.com)	(106)
(Rochester D&C)	You know that the green movement is getting its message across when people start to recycle feet (democratandchronicle.com)	(31)
	Theme of Farktography Contest No. 222: "Running from Camera". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (farktography.net)	(78)

Wed August 05, 2009

	Supermarket figures out how to turn out-of-date meat into electricity. Naturally vegetarians have a problem with this. "Why are so many animals dying to provide this excess?" (dailymail.co.uk)	(323)
	Barbie to get Bavarian makeover for Oktoberfest, complete with traditional cleavage-boosting dress, dishevelled hair and no recollection of what she did the night before (earthtimes.org)	(177)
(Some Farkette)	Photoshop this vintage fitness device (lumq.com)	(27)
	Following the gym shooting in Pittsburgh, here's your obligatory "gyms are still safe" story (examiner.com)	(61)
	Town of Wank advises town of F---ing to capitalize on their name: "There are Wank postcards on sale although many people prefer to take their own Wank holiday snaps standing beside Welcome to Wank signs" (metro.co.uk)	(111)
	Flatfoots ferret out fleeing fugitive in freezer. Dogs detect chillin' felon; earn extra eats. Crook hooked; hastily hoicked to hoosegow, tarrying till trial (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(35)
(Some Shawty)	T-Pain announces candidacy for president of Florida State University. Outgoing president: "I don't even know what a T-Pain is" (tallahassee.com)	(132)
	Fox anchor gets pwned by a Democratic guest, but is saved by "breaking news": Was it A) Release of reporters from North Korea, B) Political developments in Iran, or C) Brand new video from Discovery Channel's "Shark Week" (dailykos.com)	(537)
	Pittsburgh shooter had a blog in which he talked about his plans and failed previous efforts as well as not getting laid since 1990, hating his mother, how black men have their choice of white women, being a walking cliche (abcnews.go.com)	(698)
	Sometimes usually harmless turbulence can usually be dangerous, deadly sometimes, or something EVERYBODY PANIC (cnn.com)	(87)
(BIG 100.3 - Washington)	Just In: Camels are now food. I'll have a Double-Hump with Cheese and a side of fries (idigbig.com)	(99)
	Capitalizing on illegal female teacher-male student sex scandals, the local news now lets you rate the teachers on a scale of one to five. Warning: the lowest rated of 1.18 may cause nausea (wbbm780.com)	(296)
	Global Swine Flu deaths reach 1,100, making it more than 1/3rd as deadly as the 9/11 attacks. People still taking it about 0.1% as serious (cnn.com)	(132)
	Don't tase me on my tractor, bro (abcnews.go.com)	(78)
	Men arrested for drugs after police were allowed to retrieve alligators the tennants were keeping in their apartment (miamiherald.com)	(28)
	Porn star / possible senate candidate Stormy Daniels arrested for domestic battery. TSG is there. With illusion shattering mug shot. (If the porn career and anger issues weren't enough.) (thesmokinggun.com)	(212)
(Some Guy)	Not News of the day: The President is getting a Hideous Birthday Cake (nbcwashington.com)	(158)
	Photoshop Theme: Your mom's most dire warning (fark.com)	(48)
	Slow cookers make comeback during economic downturn, allowing people to save money by using $18 worth of electricity to cook a $4 roast (telegraph.co.uk)	(396)
	Lightning strike survivor: God blessed me and smote the bejesus out of my buddy (myfoxorlando.com)	(84)
(Some Guy)	In a new high mark for PR desperation, Paramount announces that the new GI Joe movie 'might' be better than Transformers 2 (movieretriever.com)	(218)
	The opening of a new cargo terminal in Seattle may be delayed two months and cost $1 million more because of a 2/100ths of an inch long problem. "Clearly the contractor should've built the trench at 2.52 inches and it's 2.5" (seattletimes.nwsource.com)	(173)
	Always the font of creativity, CW to remake old TV shows. Expect "Petticoat Junction 2009," "Mister Ed" with Wilbur a sexy blonde who solves crimes, and "All in the Family" in which Archie is a transgendered Indian (variety.com)	(103)
	Scientists reconstruct 3D images of extinct spiders. Because if there's one thing you want to bring back from the grave in full 3D glory, it's spiders (sciencedaily.com)	(95)
(Milk-drinkin' FBI agent)	Missionaries taking position for battle over solicitation ban (thenewstribune.com)	(91)
	Spanish police place black suspect in all-white lineup (reuters.com)	(78)
	If you cannot determine if a person is dead or alive, maybe being a Paramedic is not for you (chicagotribune.com)	(75)
(Some Guy)	Rochester woman charged with driving her car into her husband, who was on his motorcycle; husband charged with DWI. You wonder why people in Rochester pay for cable when this stuff is going on in the street (rocnow.com)	(28)
	Chuck Grassley attempts to argue against healthcare reform using a "Deficit Dragon", screwing up both Arthurian myth and basic metaphors in the process. We need an "Utterly Pathetic" tag (thedailyshow.com)	(139)
	Government takes a couple grand of your money and gives it to your neighbor. Press interviews neighbor, declares program "successful" and "wildly popular." Welcome to Cash for Clunkers (reason.com)	(702)
(Tucker Max)	"What are you doing? Talking to the turtles. Are they telling you to kill the fat girl behind us? Cause that's what they're telling me." (Sponsored Link) (ihopetheyservebeerinhell.com)	(201)
(Some Guy)	"Le Man" 12 hour lawn mower endurance race cut short due to bad weather after 15 minutes. Lawn mower trifecta complete (cctv.com)	(24)
	Could catching swine flu be good for you? It's more likely than you think (forbes.com)	(49)
	Male resident of house and female visitor both too drunk to remember how she got locked out wearing only fishnet stockings (philly.com)	(122)
	You asked you roommate to buy chicken wings but he bought a whole chicken. Do you (a) return the chicken to the shop, (b) live with his honest mistake or (c) wait until he falls asleep and then pour boiling oil over him? (news.com.au)	(125)
	Vladimir Putin and his pectorals go horseback riding...shirtless (guardian.co.uk)	(166)
	When stealing a lawn mower try to find something faster than a moped to hitch it to (upi.com)	(8)
	Ohio Sen. George Voinovich has charged that Southerners are what's wrong with the Republican Party (washingtonpost.com)	(609)
	Two beluga whales at the Shedd Aquarium are pregnant; paternity tests will be performed, but officials suspect the sperm whale (chicagobreakingnews.com)	(82)
	Europe war risk no longer unthinkable. Someone may want to give Reuters a history book or basic cable or something (reuters.com)	(71)
	Russia says those 2 subs patrolling off the East Coast are "routine" just like those nuclear-capable bombers they've been flying over the Atlantic for the past couple years. So stop panicking already, comrades (washingtonpost.com)	(131)
	Bicyclist cracked the windshield of a car with his hand pointed a gun and flashed a fake badge at the vehicle's occupants. (with handy pic of what a bicyclist may look like) (upi.com)	(177)
	The Chinese government's solution to internet addiction is the same as its solution to everything else (news.bbc.co.uk)	(94)
	Secretary of State has program that allows citizens to anonymously report people who illegally park in handicap parking spots. Man, Costanza's going to be pissed (chicagotribune.com)	(72)
(SouthCoastToday)	Think your local government wastes your tax dollars? At least it isn't shredding them ... is it? (southcoasttoday.com)	(44)
(Some Guy)	New study from the Duh Institute finds that morning TV shows are a really bad place to go for your medical advice (minnpost.com)	(24)
	Six DUI convictions aren't enough to stop man from driving drunk, but new tax on alcohol is enough to make him drive drunk to tax-free New Hampshire to buy booze (bostonherald.com)	(44)
	Russia accuses US of rearming Georgia. President Obama insists militarized buffer zone between Florida and the rest of the USA is non-negotiable (google.com)	(52)
	It's not a good idea to start huffing the contents of an aersol can while police are interviewing you after a traffic accident (nwfdailynews.com)	(30)
	Iran wants you to rat out dissidents on their website; WHARRGARBL Oh, it's the Whitehouse? Here you go (corner.nationalreview.com)	(450)
	Cop kicks man in the head because he was talking to himself (w/ "Goose Egg-riffic" mugshot) (nwfdailynews.com)	(65)
	New Illinois law bars sex offenders from operating ice cream trucks; no provision against driving van with "free candy" scrawled on it, however (chicagotribune.com)	(60)
	Bill lands two women in the U.S (washingtonpost.com)	(118)
(Ocala.com)	Man found passed out at gas station with BAC four times higher than legal limit, or as we call it on Fark, Tuesday (ocala.com)	(15)
(Some Guy)	Media frenzy over return of journalists from North Korea. Now the plane has touched down. Now the door is opening. Now they are going to In-n-Out Burger. Now they are walking the dog (wbbm780.com)	(153)
	Rap music, corrupting the minds of our precious snowflakes. But these ditties from the 20s & 30s are actually worse, much worse (cracked.com)	(189)
	Woman forfeits all future Mother's Day gifts after turning in her 13-year-old son for having a small bag of weed in his pocket (nwfdailynews.com)	(125)
	Retired firefighter and his wife burn down their house during hot sex (thesun.co.uk)	(95)
	Cops have six-motorcycle crash while heading to funeral of guy who died in motorcycle crash (miamiherald.com)	(108)
	Hide the car keys from your drunk mom? That's a pepper sprayin' (thedenverchannel.com)	(42)
(PressHerald.com)	Alas, but for a rule to cast out all drunken rowdiness, there's to be no Naked Shakespeare in Portland, Maine (pressherald.mainetoday.com)	(27)
	A British survey suggests women prefer "real men" with beer bellies and hairy chests to "metrosexuals" with tight shorts and manicures (upi.com)	(911)
	SacBee discovers the power of Not News™ as feel-good article on man who found his mother's record collection at antique store sets page-view record (sacbee.com)	(15)
	Lawyer for 16 year old Satan worshipper who stabbed his father to death so as to become "the God of my own realm" describes his client as "irrational" (news.com.au)	(166)
	Father promises to fly the same American flag until his son comes home from Iraq. Now that it's been a over a year and the flag is in bad shape some people have a problem with this (foxnews.com)	(318)
	Ahmadinjacrazydude sworn in, followed by 10 minutes straight of diabolical laughter (cnn.com)	(133)
(Some Loonie)	North Korea announces plans to capture the moon, tow it back to earth by rocket, and place it on display in Pyongyang. You actually expect me to improve on that headline? (japanprobe.com)	(138)
	Photoshop Theme: Presidential vacation (images.google.com)	(40)
(Some Guy)	"When deputies tried to stop him, authorities say Bretton drove the mower into his home's front yard, his 12-pack of Milwaukee's Best spilling onto the ground along the way" (chicagotribune.com)	(29)
	Technology to help airline pilots detect turbulence seems a little shaky (cbs4denver.com)	(33)
	Britian bans its army from using their new combat helicopters in combat zones (telegraph.co.uk)	(104)
	Peeing in the shower saves the rainforest. As if you needed an excuse (stuff.co.nz)	(182)
	Federal judicial panel orders California to reduce its prison population by 40,000 in next 2 years. This should end well (nbclosangeles.com)	(146)
	Little girl's skin melted off feet after playing on hot NYC playground mat. What does devastated family get from the city? Countersued. Wait, what? (wcbstv.com)	(444)
(Some Guy)	Rival businesses accused of stealing each others' customers. Which might be OK, except they're undertakers (dailyexpress.co.uk)	(20)

Tue August 04, 2009

	5 dead, 15 wounded during attack in Pittsburgh gym (reuters.com)	(527)
	Iron Photoshop ingredient: tape (images.google.com)	(40)
	Price of kids today? $221,000 apiece, far exceeding their trade-in value (abcnews.go.com)	(282)
	Before attempting a carjacking, its important to know how to drive a wide variety of vehicles, including both automatic and manual transmissions (rgj.com)	(219)
	Meet Manya Soviak 85, matriarch of the oldest family-run bar in Detroit; "When the bar ran out of beer on a busy night, (brewery)workers would roll kegs of Black Label down the alley" (detroitnews.com)	(79)
	Kayaks? In my Street? It's more likely than you think (LGT video) (wave3nation.wave3.com)	(89)
	DHS spins the Wheel Of Fearmongering and comes up with: Severe Flu Epidemic Predicted For Fall. EVERYBODY PANDEMIC (usatoday.com)	(122)
	Colorado makes it illegal for motorists to throw objects at bicycles, changing previous law under which it was only a citable offense if one had good aim (usatoday.com)	(175)
	"Come quickly, I'm drinking the stars..." (wired.com)	(50)
	Young girls for centuries have used dolls to simulate motherhood, but one toy company may have taken it too far..Baby Glutton the breastfeeding doll. (With disturbing product pic) (nj.com)	(258)
	Relatives say a man wielding a hatchet inside a liquor store, who advanced on cops and was then shot, was not a threat (sfgate.com)	(100)
	TSG busts Pranknet (thesmokinggun.com)	(445)
	China's most trusted professions: Farmers, religious workers...prostitutes? (news.bbc.co.uk)	(83)
	Posting offensive comments on Christian dating sites while being drunk is no way to go through life...father (thelocal.se)	(57)
	Bill Clinton picks up two Asian chicks (msnbc.msn.com)	(954)
(Some Neat Freak)	Photoshop this tidy hipster (2.bp.blogspot.com)	(44)
	Putin may be planning a one year anniversary party for Georgia, prepares peach pies (news.bbc.co.uk)	(50)
	Nanny State strikes again: "Mum fined for grieving too long" (news.com.au)	(114)
(Some Guy)	Housing complex bans kids from playing outside (dailycamera.com)	(163)
	Many British dentists earn over £200k. Where do they find such lucrative second jobs? (news.bbc.co.uk)	(69)
(Some Guy)	Drunken man faces charges of rear-ending Amish buggy in upstate New York, leaving two injured. Police baffled as to why victims didn't phone for help (watertowndailytimes.com)	(94)
	Stephanie Meyer accused of plagiarism; I don't know what's worse, being the author who allegedly stole the idea of sparkly vampires, or the one who allegedly wrote them in the first place (mtv.com)	(308)
(Some Guy)	Rush Limbaugh on why the morning shows were criticizing his diet "They're just mad that I look studly. When you get right down to it, they're just mad that I look good." (rushlimbaugh.com)	(376)
	"In much of the American South and Midwest church membership and religious faith are assumed. People have often never met an admitted atheist" (guardian.co.uk)	(1042)
	And the Oscar for setting up the sale of 1/2 pound of meth goes to ... Cameron Douglas (foxnews.com)	(46)
(Some Guy)	Australians are pissed off over public toilet shortage. Civic officials say they are looking into the matter, but they don't have much to go on (brisbanetimes.com.au)	(28)
	Dr. Gray sees his shadow and predicts fewer storms this year. How accurate have his predictions been? Pretty freakin accurate (southflorida.sun-sentinel.com)	(88)
	Police suspect naked man who shook off bites from police dog and several jolts from stun gun was intoxicated by alcohol, cocaine, PCP and psychedelic mushrooms. You don't say (indystar.com)	(101)
	Judge dismisses charges against man accused of destroying redlight cameras. Hero tag weeps with joy (knoxnews.com)	(151)
	CCTV images showing man walking into pet shop and shoving a cockatoo down his pants revealed. Quite why he needed two is still unclear (dailymail.co.uk)	(44)
	Meet David Bomford, the Australian grandfather whose birth certificate was doctored in an effort to prove Obama was not born in the US (abc.net.au)	(278)
(NY Times / Some Blogger)	The fruits of a Stanford education: "We don't need soap - we have each other" (betsyspage.blogspot.com)	(51)
	Barack Obama turns 48 today so we have resurrected Marilyn Monroe to sing her iconic rendition of Happy Birthday Mr President. (vid) (bittenandbound.com)	(82)
(Some Guy)	Police responding to a hit-and-run call realized they were dealing with a homicide when they spotted a man carrying an axe. Another clue was the other man, whose decapitated body was lying on the sidewalk (ktla.com)	(71)
	"A funny thing happened on the way to saving the world's poor from the ravages of global warming. The poor told the warming alarmists to get lost." (online.wsj.com)	(313)
	Woman gets university degree in stand-up comedy, instantly becoming more employable than any other liberal arts grad in the universe (dailymail.co.uk)	(89)
	Obama: "We will extend our hand if you unclench your fist." Al Qaeda: "We would like to offer a truce." Obama: "We don't negotiate with terrorists." (news.yahoo.com)	(252)
	"Study finds depression strikes kids as young as 3." Guess I'll go eat worms (chron.com)	(220)
	Hugo Chavez becomes a major threat to Americans everywhere as it's announced he's seizing coffee companies. THIS IS NOT THE STORY I WANTED TO SEE FIRST THING IN THE MORNING (news.bbc.co.uk)	(256)
	Photoshop this Bangladeshi bicycle (s.wsj.net)	(39)
	Strange things happen if you're the first person to pass out at a party. You might, for example, wake up four miles down the railway line; still on your sofa (metro.co.uk)	(195)
	Having dealt with all other crime, British police issue ticket to 9 year old boy for climbing tree (dailymail.co.uk)	(91)
(Some Guy)	Not news: drunk driver involved in a traffic stop. News: actually, multiple traffic stops. Fark: because he was on duty and driving a patrol car (kens5.com)	(55)
(NBC Washington)	Domino's giving away lava cakes for the 24 hours of Obama's birthday. Lava comes from volcanoes, Kenya has 24 volcanoes. It all makes perfect sense now, how could we have been so blind? (nbcwashington.com)	(287)
	Indulgent mother buys her children everything, neglects her own health both physical and financial. Get a damn job you brats and stop killing your mom (latimes.com)	(110)
(pnj.com)	Creationist theme park to be seized by the federal government for tax evasion. I guess they didn't see that situation evolving (pnj.com)	(354)
	Yoga instructor told his shorts are too short, eye bleach required. Oh and the shorts are 12 years old...Grrreat (theprovince.com)	(117)
(The Houston Press)	Man develops lesions and numbness, a folk healer tells him to pray in the nude while she massages him, then an herbalist treats him by thrashing him with a leather belt, which his cop father stops by drawing his gun. Then it gets weird (houstonpress.com)	(55)
	Actual headline: "Texas will soon make sure that competent lawyers handle death-row appeals" (chron.com)	(112)
	Bill Clinton heads to North Korea to pick-up two women (msnbc.msn.com)	(148)
	Bride to spend honeymoon in jail because her behavior on "Bridezillas" was so over the top it violated her parole. Bonus: video features her lawyer/pimp (fox6now.com)	(114)
(Some Guy)	American man pulled over for speeding in Canada explains that he thought the road signs were in miles per hour, not the hectares per hogshead or whatever the hell it is they use there (ottawacitizen.com)	(388)

Mon August 03, 2009

	27 million Americans on anti-depressants. Sad tag would have showed up, but recently started taking Prozac (alertnet.org)	(292)
(myfoxphoenix)	Relaxation product "Drank" has some people calling it liquid pot (myfoxphoenix.com)	(164)
	Minnesota's given $50M in road and bridge repair work to the same companies it's suing for negligence in the fatal 2007 Minneapolis bridge collapse. Avoid bridges, Minnesota farkers (google.com)	(48)
	Not News: Man arrested for selling cocaine. News: door to door. Fark: Out of his ice cream truck (wcbstv.com)	(46)
(The Argus)	65-year-old mayor with fear of heights gets up the courage to skydive. Bonus: Lands in a cow pie (theargus.co.uk)	(19)
(Some Rover)	"When I started to make calls to San Francisco pet stores and sex shops..." (blogs.sfweekly.com)	(42)
	OJ Simpson's attorneys promise he will move to Nevada and never attempt to flee justice if they just let him out of the PMITA prison for a little while (wtop.com)	(48)
	Somebody killed Britain's biggest carp with poisoned nuts. Ron Mexico wanted for questioning (dailymail.co.uk)	(69)
(Columbus Dispatch)	New traffic cameras issue 10,000 tickets in the first month of operations, making Heath, OH one of the safest towns in the country (dispatch.com)	(176)
	Good etiquette: telling bride and groom, "break a leg." Bad etiquette: telling their carriage horse (upi.com)	(49)
(Some Guy)	Tea Party organizer found to have $80,000 in state and federal tax liens (nashvilleistalking.com)	(232)
	Photoshop this ice hole imbecile (inapcache.boston.com)	(38)
(Baxter Bulletin)	Arkansas bans Sponge Bob lighters, sending a message that toddlers shouldn't play with fire and adults shouldn't watch Sponge Bob marathons (baxterbulletin.com)	(101)
(Billings Gazette)	Ayup, they done blowed the outhouse up REAL good (billingsgazette.com)	(87)
	86-year-old shoplifter arrested for stealing anti-wrinkle cream (suntimes.com)	(48)
	Fareed Zakaria unleashes a pwnage barrage so epic it should be accompanied by Dr. Manhattan and Ride of the Valkyries (andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com)	(168)
	Bank of America bit the hand that fed it. SEC files charges for making false and misleading statements (marketwatch.com)	(138)
	Mother and Daughter severely ill after their E Coli was contaminated with British food (news.bbc.co.uk)	(170)
	Well, he did it, but he couldn't have done it without your help. Thank you all so very much for your support and kindness. LGT Original thread (fark.com)	(176)
	Mike Bloomberg calls for making NYC crosstown buses free to improve travel times and ease pressure on other lines. Commuters weep with joy (cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com)	(134)
	6.9 Earthquake reported in Baja, CA (alertnet.org)	(187)
(Some Guy)	Vermont man misses his deceased dad so much, he digs him up and brings him back home. To his living room (wptz.com)	(76)
(Urlesque)	Best sandwich ever: The Rubix Cubewich (pic) (urlesque.com)	(244)
	Men will spend one year of their lives ogling women - or 43 minutes every single day (thesun.co.uk)	(½)
(UGPulse)	You might live in the third world if your secretary of education asks parliament to please encourage people to stop burning down schools (ugpulse.com)	(44)
	In America, if you don't like new anti-smoking in restaurant laws, you take your business elsewhere. In Istanbul, not Constantinople, you shoot the business owner dead (news.yahoo.com)	(462)
	One more time for the hard of thinking: hiding under a lone tree to avoid a thunderstorm is officially a "bad idea™" (dailymail.co.uk)	(52)
(Saipan Tribune)	District Court's building superintendent missed the memo about not growing pot. Whoops (saipantribune.com)	(36)
	The Compy Compé delivers European-sounding flair with Southeast Asian-sounding prices (homestarrunner.com)	(54)
	Expert predicts peak oil is just ten years away. This is a repeat from every year in the last three decades (news.com.au)	(222)
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this gasbag (s.wsj.net)	(24)
	Millions of kids lack vitamin D. Reasons include not going outdoors, and using sunscreen when they do. Still no cure for skin cancer (msnbc.msn.com)	(214)
	Caption this perennial favorite (i.dailymail.co.uk)	(94)
	It's 4ft long, spits acid and throws lightning and lives underground. The only way to hunt it is with dynamite. Meet the Mongolian Death Worm (news.com.au)	(363)
	Japanese man is outraged after he paid $1200 for a pasta dinner with his fiancee in Rome. When he complained to police he was offered an all-expense paid vacation to Rome but declined because it would be a waste of their taxpayer's money (abc.net.au)	(188)
	Hey look, every letter of the alphabet (youtube.com)	(115)
	Photoshop theme: A tribute to the greatest artist ever (fark.com)	(72)
	Toxic substance leaking from jeans. For once, this story has nothing to do with Courtney Love (cbsnews.com)	(42)
(Some Guy)	Alleged deli thief caught chewing the evidence -- with picture goodness (wcpo.com)	(96)
	Palin's lawyer threatens "divorce" blogger with libel suit, gives her the option of receiving the summons at her residence or at the kindergarten where she works. That'll show em (alaskareport.com)	(422)
	What. The. Hell. Is. This. Story. About? (express.co.uk)	(191)
	If keeping your deceased loved one's ashes on your mantel isn't creepy enough, why not keep your deceased loved one's ashes in a ceramic replica of your deceased loved one's head? (metro.co.uk)	(107)