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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun May 17, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily Express) Amusing Man who only went to an auction because his mother was doing the catering and offered him a free bacon sandwich ends up buying an L29 Russian fighter jet. Bacon  (express.co.uk) (120)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Thousands of Mini owners take to the roads to celebrate car's 50th anniversary. And that's the real Mini, not the made-in-Mexico POS cluttering today's roads (cool pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (122)
(Jacksonville.com) Sad Farker attending American Idol Tuesday night. Wants to make a sign. What should it say? Difficulty- no logos or businesses. Voting enabled  (jacksonville.com) (341)
(Boston Globe) Silly Not a shock: The most self-absorbed generation in history can't handle being called grandma or grandpa. Seems it makes them feel old. News flash: You are  (boston.com) (307)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this elephant and its exquisite ensemble  (farm4.static.flickr.com) (26)
(Spiegel) Spiffy Next Father's Day, don't give Dad a tie or some other lame gift. Get him what all fathers want: Tank driving lessons  (spiegel.de) (92)
(SLTrib) Sick Today's "sex with a student" story comes from Alpine Academy's treatment school for troubled girls. Older guy/teen girl, so bring the pitchforks and torches  (sltrib.com) (120)
(Sun Sentinel) Obvious After exhaustive investigation, Florida newspaper concludes that travelers who lose valuables while flying are screwed  (sun-sentinel.com) (60)
(Boing Boing) Dumbass This weeks dumbest idea ever: Fake Department Of Homeland Security photography license  (boingboing.net) (103)
(WBBM) Asinine Illinois was going to raise tax on wine and hard liquor, now going to raise tax on beer: "The beer people feel left out so we're considering adding them". Suck it, Joe Sixpack  (wbbm780.com) (85)
(News.com.au) Fail Train station provides wheelchair-accessible phone and ramps to get on and off the trains. Unfortunately a flight of stairs is the only way to get to the station  (news.com.au) (25)
(New York Daily News) Silly NIMBY homeowner wants NYC million trees program cut to 999,999 trees  (nydailynews.com) (97)
(Baltimore Sun) Scary Nigerian militants claim to have destroyed two oil pipelines. That sound you hear is gas station owners falling over themselves to raise prices  (baltimoresun.com) (57)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Interesting Go mess with Texas. No, really. Everybody's doing it  (star-telegram.com) (330)
(Fox News) Sad Newt Heisley, age 88 passes away in Colorado Springs, CO. Never heard of him? Everytime you see a POW/MIA flag, now you know who designed it  (foxnews.com) (127)
(WBBM) Spiffy Prison inmates learn to care for retired race horses, which presumably, they can't ride out of lockup. "There's no limit to the number of correctional facilities with land. (And) we're not running out of inmates to teach."  (wbbm780.com) (57)
(UPI) Strange Release of a new Lincoln penny draws 2,500 nerds out of their basement. Remarked one virgin, ""This is a lifelong dream"  (courierpress.com) (111)
(USA Today) Interesting The recession's on, so let's take a look at what people are buying: gardening seeds, tanning products, Spam. Oh, and condoms. Lots and lots of condoms  (usatoday.com) (71)
(Canada.com) Amusing "We can't figure out why so many perfectly intelligent Canadians...insist on the importance of maintaining a masquerade that is hollow and (let's face it) irrelevant." Happy Victoria Day, Canada  (canada.com) (133)
(Breitbart.com) Sick Story: Greece wants to ban women from wearing spike heels at historic sites. Bonus info: Maintenance crews found and removed 59 pounds of chewing gum stuck under the marble seats  (breitbart.com) (86)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Behind the scenes  (fark.com) (39)
(LA Times) Interesting Once a status symbol, the piano is rarely found in today's households. Pianist  (latimes.com) (207)
(The Morning Call) Stupid Cyber-school pupil barred from public school dance, told to get back in his mother's basement  (mcall.com) (46)
(Jaunted.com) Obvious Recessionary Travel Trends: Camping's Making a Comeback, foreshadowing an increase in conversations beginning with "You TOTALLY just wiped your ass with poison sumac"  (jaunted.com) (74)
(Seattle Times) Followup Prom that was canceled after students held a food fight is now back on. Behold the power of Fark. "Punishing the entire school for the actions of a few students is not an appropriate response"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (55)
(First Coast News) Florida Man's car is stolen with his laundry inside, later spots thief wearing his clothes and gives chase - then realizes a man with a gun is also chasing him  (firstcoastnews.com) (82)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida For a modest, upfront fee, atheist says he will deliver cards and letters from Christians to their non-believing friends, relatives and neighbors left behind when the Rapture comes. P. T. Barnum was so very, very, right  (orlandosentinel.com) (165)
(Fox News) Amusing Woman who prayed her daughter to death suffers medical emergency during her trial. Yeah, they called 911  (foxnews.com) (235)
(Guardian.com) Weird China to open "tasteful, educational" sex theme park. German tourists to come for the water slide  (guardian.co.uk) (41)
(Albany Times Union) Dumbass After 25 years, NY DMV gets around to threatening a woman with license suspension for running a red light; woman requests postponement until 2034  (timesunion.com) (50)
(SLTrib) Sick You have some serious issues if you're an adult who likes to wear diapers and also likes to show pictures of yourself wearing diapers to children  (sltrib.com) (99)
(Hugh Decide) Interesting Pro pot on campus: "You know, when you get high on marijuana you don't act violent - you just kind of sit there" Anti pot on campus: "We just don't have a lot of highly successful students who are potheads"  (wbbm780.com) (365)

Sat May 16, 2009
(Some Guy) Ironic This list of "10 Pork Products That Make You Want To Keep Kosher" actually makes me just want to get lunch  (iheartjews.com) (168)
(We're boned) Scary Proposed law would get people fingerprinted for speeding tickets. Winston Smith surrenders  (wbir.com) (262)
(WHIO) Sappy *Still* not tired of stories about baby ducklings being rescued from storm drains? No? Here's another one, then  (whiotv.com) (32)
(Baltimore Sun) Silly Cat amasses half a million Twitter followers, fulfilling one of the signs of the Apocalypse  (weblogs.baltimoresun.com) (54)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Bristol Palin graduates from high school, despite failing Trig  T-Shirt  (nydailynews.com) (192)
(Cleveland) Silly Father calls police on basement-dwelling adult son for refusing his chores. Thousands of Farkers grab a broom  (cleveland.com) (57)
(Some Guy) Dumbass N.C. teen attempts robbery with a banana, eats the evidence, hopes to avoid jail on a peel  (thedickinsonpress.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this Antarctic water well  (englishrussia.com) (30)
(Wired) Interesting And you thought regular debt collectors were bad: the FBI is playing debt collector for the phone company  (wired.com) (82)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Scientists claim have discovered the missing link between man, apes and monkeys. And it is.... a lemur. A very intelligent and nicely designed lemur I might add  (online.wsj.com) (296)
(Some Blind Guy) Scary It's official, the title of Ugliest Car EVAR has been handed from the Honda Element to this... marvel of aesthetic dissonance (voting enabled for competitor submissions)  (nissanusa.com) (390)
(The Daily Beast) Interesting Wal-Mart actually *reduces* obesity in low-income areas, and makes people generally healthier  (thedailybeast.com) (149)
(Reason Magazine) Hero Defense attorney sets up sting, tricks prosecution "bite mark expert" into matching bite wound photos to completely unrelated dental mold. Justice surrenders  (reason.com) (98)
(LSJ) Cool Grunge and heavy metal are the latest looks in home decor. In other words submitters house full of junk finally stylish  (lansingstatejournal.com) (32)
(TwinCities.com) Spiffy 13-year-old becomes youngest college graduate in Minnesota, but parents still say he plays too many video games. So he's screwed  (twincities.com) (49)
(Newsday) Sappy Are you tired of stories about baby ducklings being rescued from storm drains? No, of course you're not  (newsday.com) (44)
(Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea) Cool My friend, you have no idea what modelmaking is until you've seen this 1/48 scale Seaview submarine with interior wood paneling and teeny control panels  (fxmodels.com) (149)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Interesting Cop caught on tape kicking a gang suspect in the head owns a clothing company that glorifies gang life. If you can beat them, join them  (nbclosangeles.com) (180)
(Some Guy) Followup Breathalyzer companies: "Our software is accurate, we just didn't want to release proprietary code." Software Analysts: "Yeah, about that..."  (schneier.com) (244)
(Daily Express) Amusing Probably the most important article ever published in the entire history of journalism  (express.co.uk) (70)
(WBBM) Interesting Another sign of the bad economy: Spam and Dinty Moore Stew selling, like, uh, hotcakes, which presumably are still selling well, too  (wbbm780.com) (96)
(Lay that pistol down, Babe) Photoshop Photoshop this pistol-packin' mama  (img-fotki.yandex.ru) (41)
(ABC News) Obvious Just in case you live in New York City and only get your news from Fark, please prepare to PANIC. There, you've been warned  (abcnews.go.com) (59)
(The Pulse) Strange Juvenile Court judge fights truancy by punishing the parents of the scofflaw children. Fark: by making them pick up litter. That'll teach 'em  (chattanoogapulse.com) (74)
(UPI) Stupid Which is harder to believe: Agent Mulder in the basement of FBI headquarters researching aliens, or real FBI agents getting paid to twitter and play "Which classic FBI agent are you" apps on Facebook?  (upi.com) (39)
(SeattlePI) Cool If you are gay or lesbian, Seattle would really appreciate your business  (seattlepi.com) (87)
(AP) Amusing Texas officals are shocked, SHOCKED I say, at allegations that they used fake calls as a pretext to raid a polygamist compound  (hosted.ap.org) (34)
(pregnancy360.com) Interesting "Mythbusters" Kari Byron bust pregnancy myths  (pregnancy360.com) (200)
(The Consumerist) Sick Restaurants putting cheaper fish in your meals. It's for the money, not for the halibut  (consumerist.com) (60)
(Yahoo) Obvious Alaska leads the nation in native-born wanting to get the hell out of the state, crazy governors, and really really good ice salesmen  (news.yahoo.com) (31)
(Huffington Post) Obvious "The unholy alliance between Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean is explicitly stated in the Book of Revelations as a harbinger of the End of Days," says Dean of the University of Minnesota's School of Divinity. Tinfoil optional  (huffingtonpost.com) (94)
(NPR) Interesting Behold the modern day glory and grandeur of what was once the humble grilled cheese sandwich  (npr.org) (91)
(CNN) Interesting Chastity for Catholic priests: foolish, counterproductive, unnecessary, off-putting  (cnn.com) (92)
(CNN) Interesting Chastity for Catholic priests: traditional, prudent, admirable, necessary  (cnn.com) (61)
(Seattle Times) Obvious Your dog has empathy, compassion, and a burning desire for steak  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (97)
(Miami Herald) Stupid Rep. Jim Moran (D-Umbass) wants to ban commercials for "performance enhancing drugs." Get a brain, Moran  (miamiherald.com) (79)
(CNN) Amusing UK researchers studying 8 year-olds' reactions to clips of "The Office"  (cnn.com) (30)
(WBZ) Stupid Why are there so many mile marker signs? Why are they only a fifth of a mile apart? Why do fools fall in love?  (wbztv.com) (96)
(ABC News) Obvious Like swallows returning to Capistrano, and groundhogs predicting weather, it's time for the annual media tradition of the "Lots of people drive over Memorial Day Weekend" headline story  (abcnews.go.com) (31)
(Philly) Interesting If you plan to join a university marching band, don't play the French Horn, because they hate that  (philly.com) (74)
(News.com.au) Unlikely Experts think a boom in personal technology is causing more fights on the schoolyard. Because nobody ever fought at school when there were no cell phones or social networking sites  (news.com.au) (39)
(CBS Minneapolis) Amusing Boy Scouts of America to troop leaders: Go be fat somewhere else  (wcco.com) (95)
(Seacoastonline.com) Sick Thcool thpeech theripitht arrethted on child porn chargeth  (seacoastonline.com) (41)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Midge, the one-eyed racing cat of Yorkshire is a star at Cannes film festival. Caturday showtime starts at 8  (dailymail.co.uk) (403)
(Some Portable Player) Photoshop Photoshop this iPod precursor  (img-fotki.yandex.ru) (36)
(UPI) Amusing If there's anyone you're not going to fool with fake bills, it's a stripper  (upi.com) (31)
(Norwich Bulletin) Obvious Man singlehandedly pulls two buses filled with screaming school children out of the path of a speeding train. *Parts of this headline may have been exaggerated  (norwichbulletin.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Obvious "The comments were originally presented as a way for WFAA.com users to engage in active, civilized conversations about online stories that would add context and perhaps even enlighten other readers. Unfortunately...."  (wfaa.com) (131)
(WTMJ) Ironic Woman gets foot stuck on accelerator, crashes into podiatrist  (620wtmj.com) (49)
(RedOrbit) Silly Moran arrested for sliding on Wrigley Field tarp during rain delay  (redorbit.com) (68)
(SoooWEEEEEEEEE) Amusing It's now legal in Texas to blast hogs with a 30-06 while cruising in your helicopter  (nbcdfw.com) (140)
(Entertainment Weekly) Stupid List of '25 Most Controversial Movies Ever' doesn't include "Song of the South" but does prove people are too farking sensitive  (ew.com) (351)
(Huffington Post) Followup Former Senator and Intel Committee Chair Bob Graham says his datebooks show the CIA never conducted 3 out of the 4 briefings they claimed to have given him; and never mentioned waterboarding at the other one  (huffingtonpost.com) (332)

Fri May 15, 2009
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Second time not the charm for accused bank robber  (blogs.tampabay.com) (7)
(My San Antonio) Dumbass Seriously, officer. It ain't my weed. Now is there a Cheetos machine around here?  (mysanantonio.com) (15)
(Seacoastonline.com) Dumbass Wow, I just stole a gun. Now I can get those dental crowns I've always wanted BONUS: crime is called "theft by unauthorized taking"  (seacoastonline.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Asinine Wait...so you're telling me that a play about murder, radical Islam and homosexuality is somehow inflammatory?  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (70)
(KNX1070) Scary News camera captures hit & run victim trying to stop driver, who decides to go for doubles. Rollin'? Check. Hatin'? Check  (knx1070.com) (94)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing This week's TSG mugshot roundup: When you go to jail, you don't want the Spocker  (thesmokinggun.com) (195)
(FARK) FarkParty Last Call: Burlington, NC  (fark.com) (24)
(Wikipedia) Hero Final Reminder - San Francisco BBQ Park Party tomorrow, 11 am. DIT, LGT Dolores Park  (en.wikipedia.org) (44)
(SFGate) Sad World's tallest dog has leg amputated. Sounds like he'll need a Great Cane  T-Shirt  (sfgate.com) (79)
(Some Clump Spirit) Photoshop Photoshop this katamari cake about to be cut  (technabob.com) (50)
(SeattlePI) Weird 78-year-old wife arrested, charged with kicking 84-year-old husband in nuts over long-held suspicions that he cheated on her "several times" 35 years ago  (seattlepi.com) (71)
(Seattle Times) Dumbass Prom gets cancelled after students stage a large-scale food fight during lunch. "We're kids. Let us have fun"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (187)
(Wall Street Journal) Cool Cost of tuition got you down? Here are 8 colleges you can attend for free. Just one catch, you'll probably have to work and drinking is forbidden. In other words, you'll have to study  (online.wsj.com) (117)
(Baltimore Sun) Cool Baltimore doesn't know what to do with their vacant lots, so they basically started up a Fark-style photoshop contest where people submit ideas. (Bonus: Includes link to all the submissions)  (baltimoresun.com) (88)
(SLTrib) Interesting Trailer full of bees breaks down on the interstate. Security officials rounding up dogs who can eat the bees  (sltrib.com) (96)
(Some Guy) Interesting Hey, Mr. Cool Ice, maybe you should read this before you get your next tattoo  (joethepeacock.com) (361)
(Telegraph) Silly 104-year-old lady becomes oldest Tweeter: "Chicken casserole was lovely, going to have a nod now"  (telegraph.co.uk) (53)
(CBS Minneapolis) Interesting Remember that freedom of religion thing? Yeah, go ahead and scratch that off the list  (wcco.com) (795)
(SFGate) Sad Photographer who took iconic picture metaphorically representative of America's Vietnam War experience dead at 67. No, not that one. That other picture. No, not that one either, the other one. Yeah, that one  (sfgate.com) (157)
(The Pulse) Fail Today's "drug dealers who can't obey traffic laws" story comes from Southern Tennessee  (chattanoogapulse.com) (53)
(BBC) Obvious You know your country's farked when Sierra Leone offers to send you some peacekeepers  (news.bbc.co.uk) (68)
(Guardian.com) Dumbass 115 people complain after Muslim is made BBC's Head of Religion. Presumably because they're worried he'll commission more Islamo-centric shows like his last project, 'Christianity: A History'  (guardian.co.uk) (150)
(Toledo Blade) Dumbass The cool thing about being a mail carrier is the access to all of those credit card applications you can fill out in other people's names  (toledoblade.com) (26)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Amusing City wants to build a shelter for chronically jobless people which will have no restrictions on alcohol use. Don't most universities already have these?  T-Shirt  (news.cincinnati.com) (65)
(People Magazine) Dumbass With a 3.497 GPA Bristol Palin graduates "point zero-zero something" away from honors. It was probably the English grade  (people.com) (262)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Pro tip: If you're a teacher having sex with your students, don't leave the pics on your phone. Just sayin  (sun-sentinel.com) (66)
(MSNBC) Strange Seven secret societies that somehow control absolutely everything, independently of each other. It could be a conspiracy of some kind  (msnbc.msn.com) (363)
(Washington Post) Obvious White House online poll reveals what Americans really want: Legal marijuana, internet poker, and a crackdown on Scientology  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (234)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Polish photographer spends four years taking pics of drunkards in their natural habitat: "Sometimes they don't know when to stop"  (dailymail.co.uk) (132)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing It's FRIDAY and that means Photo Fun from our pals at TSG. This week's episode: What busy TV star subcontracted the coaching duties for his childs team? Contest ends at 4pm Eastern  (thesmokinggun.com) (173)
(WAAY TV) Asinine Man wants to bury his dead wife on family property. Neighbors okay with it. Health department okay with it. Town council: "Not yours"  (waaytv.com) (93)
(Gwinnett Daily Post) Strange Police discover a new way to track down illegal immigrants: follow their pet turkeys home  (gwinnettdailypost.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Misc China sex theme park causing controversy. Nobody tall enough to get on rides  (news.ninemsn.com.au) (132)
(Free Press) Obvious Wave of recent closures are forcing remaining Chrysler dealers to "get creative" when it comes to staying in business. Somehow, "stop selling Chryslers" didn't warrant consideration  (freep.com) (116)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this dubious deity  (photofile.name) (62)
(WPXI) Fail Prisoner in cuffs escapes in stolen truck, doesn't really think about how hard it is to steer in cuffs. Hilarity ensues  (wpxi.com) (27)
(Daily Mail) Amusing A heart-warming tale of adopted sisters, re-united after 35 years only to discover that they hate each other  (dailymail.co.uk) (69)
(Canada.com) Silly When does a typical mugging require a 1200 word newspaper article? When the victim is a newspaper reporter, of course  (edmontonjournal.com) (65)
(MSNBC) Dumbass With no horny middle school teachers available, awesome dad arrested for trying to hire a hooker for his 14 year old son. It was only $30, but it's the thought that counts  (msnbc.msn.com) (95)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Amusing Yellowstone National Park employees caught on webcam urinating into Old Faithful Geyser. "Luckily for both of them, the geyser was not erupting at the time"  (abc2news.com) (84)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Weird If you're a Dakota Indian living in Minnesota, you're breaking Federal law  (startribune.com) (84)
(Miami Herald) Unlikely Cuban man protests prison and housing conditions with three-month long hunger strike. Castro: "Whatever". Hungry guy: I win  (miamiherald.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Fail Man in Snuggie attempts burglary by stacking crates up to a window - Fail tag prevails  (dailyrecord.com) (20)
(USA Today) Asinine TARP II: Insurance Boogaloo  (usatoday.com) (100)
(Nola.com) Amusing They are getting smarter. When they find out about lolcats, we are all farked  (nola.com) (126)
(Boston Herald) Obvious What's the quickest way for a cop to earn a suspension? Give a politician a parking ticket  (bostonherald.com) (113)
(My Fox DC) Spiffy Finally, evidence the barriers are breaking down as women are allowed to compete in Israeli truck pulling contests (w/ video)  (myfoxdc.com) (152)
(Some Maineiac) Stupid Wrong number and a deaf receptionist leads to the evacuation of a medical center. "Hello, is my bomb there?"  (pressherald.mainetoday.com) (77)
(CNBC) Interesting Actual headline: "Recession Drives Moms to Drink, Do Drugs and Gamble." So...silver lining  T-Shirt  (cnbc.com) (81)
(Daily Express) Amusing Guess which country is the angriest in Europe? Clue: If the French were your neighbors, you'd be pretty angry too  (express.co.uk) (145)
(The Sun) Sad Blackpool to re-launch itself as the new romantic destination of choice. Possible catchphrase: "Blackpool - Please ignore the opaque greyness enveloping you and come enjoy our fake Eiffel tower"  (thesun.co.uk) (83)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this handheld thermal image device  (nookncranny.ca) (38)
(wptv.com) Florida Guy in car with chair on boat on trailer on freeway in trouble, because woman behind guy in car with chair on boat on trailer on freeway in canal  (wptv.com) (99)
(The Sun) Cool New "horny" bra that boosts when women feel sexually aroused is being tested by lingerie designers. Submitter to be surrounded by lots of "A" cups in the near future  (thesun.co.uk) (1054)
(WPXI) Stupid Streets blocked, buildings evacuated, police and fire departments, bomb squad, and Jack Bauer called in to handle unknown explosive device. And by "explosive device" we mean "lampshade"  (wpxi.com) (47)
(The Morning Call) Interesting Mexican officials campaign to put the pork back in the taco  (mcall.com) (39)
(WBBM) Fail Freshman sets off chemical stink bomb in last days of the school year. Back in the day: spring fever Today: unlawful possession of an explosive device  (wbbm780.com) (107)

Thu May 14, 2009
(Some Guy) Weird 468-year-old karate master attempts to eliminate bus rider infected with the swine flu, then it gets all nunchucky  (summitdaily.com) (104)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Study shows that monkeys playing "Deal or No Deal" can feel regret and shame, which is already one emotion more than average "Deal or No Deal" contestants seem to have  (dailymail.co.uk) (53)
(Some Guy) Interesting A bowl of whole-grain cereal is as good as a sports drink for recovery after exercise, according to new research supported by the General Mills Bell Institute of Health and Nutrition, which has no bias whatsoever towards cereal  (wbaltv.com) (104)
(Seacoastonline.com) Dumbass Fearing her probation officer and landlord might not understand, woman moves a dead body from her bathroom out to the hall. Well, what else was she supposed to do?  (seacoastonline.com) (32)
(Seacoastonline.com) Cool 30 years later, couple says their business plan to switch from selling pizzas, to selling porn was sound. Suck it Harvard MBAs  (seacoastonline.com) (71)
(Houston Chronicle) Ironic FDIC Economist charged in attempted bank robbery. Ironic tag gets new lease on life  (chron.com) (27)
(2TheAdvocate.com) Followup FEMA tricks out new trailers for next disaster. All units to come with 22" spinner rims, a hydraulics system, and a horn that plays La Cucaracha  (2theadvocate.com) (45)
(Daily Express) Amusing Man promises to drive his daughter and her two guests to a local river so they can get a close-up view. He succeeds  (express.co.uk) (18)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Dumbass Man in SUV makes a decision to go around the car stopped at a RR crossing with the guard down and lights flashing. Since this is Fark you know his decision was wrong  (star-telegram.com) (136)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Theme: I put on my robe and wizard hat  (s1.b3ta.com) (28)
(Yahoo) Strange If tourists flock to your town in honor of a chicken who lived 18 months past having his head chopped off, then you might be a redneck town  (news.yahoo.com) (80)
(The New York Times) Cool Boy scouts learn how to be prepared to fight terrorists (w/ picture of the most badass scouts you will ever see)  (nytimes.com) (314)
(Daily Express) Weird This man has photographed his children every day for the last 12 years. Even he doesn't seem to know why  (express.co.uk) (65)
(Fox 4 KC) Dumbass A party celebrating a candidate's mayoral victory ended with nearly a dozen police cars at the scene, a city councilwoman in handcuffs and the acting police chief arrested by his own officer. Party on, Texas  (caller.com) (79)
(SpaceWeather.com) Cool Photo of the Space Shuttle approaching the Hubble Telescope. The Sun is there  (spaceweather.com) (146)
(Local10) Florida Broward County high school graduates to sanitize their hands before their swine-flu riddled diplomas from disease-infested teachers and principals  (justnews.com) (30)
(azfamly.com) Sad The word "fat" printed under a girl's picture in her high school yearbook. "I don't want to go back to school."  (azfamily.com) (620)
(Westword) Asinine You are given a large post dated check that is also a suicide note. Do you A: Call the police... B: Inform the family of their relative's plans... C: Keep the check in a safe until the post date and cash it  (westword.com) (59)
(Fox 4 KC) PSA If you lost your job, Pfizer will give you drugs for free, including Viagra. Because if there's one thing the jobless need, it's potency  (fox4kc.com) (51)
(STLToday) Stupid British traffic officials are going to experiment with cutting congestion by turning off all traffic lights. What could go wrong?  (stltoday.com) (61)
(Yahoo) Scary Chinese space junk buzzes space shuttle, Hubble. Hee, hee, subby said 'junk'  (news.yahoo.com) (82)
(AP) Interesting South Dakota's hispanic population has doubled since 2000. Miguel reportedly happy to finally have some company  T-Shirt  (wctrib.com) (79)
(ESPN) Dumbass Pete Rose says Alex Rodriguez should be in the baseball Hall of Fame. Because Pete Rose has any authority to speak on who should be in the Hall of Fame  (sports.espn.go.com) (236)
(Some Guy) Interesting Nice fixer upper prison for sale, seller is motivated. Other listings include large coliseum with unique history, and a "Cow Palace". Interested buyers urged to contact a Mr. Schwarzeneger  (santacruzsentinel.com) (81)
(YouTube) Amusing NBC Chicago ponders if they should eat a stray pint of Ben & Jerry's found on the street  (youtube.com) (22)
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth) Amusing Parents of precious snowflakes outraged at McDonald's for giving out CDs in happy meals which contain a word that sounds like an expletive. (Bonus: Includes sound clip of song in question, and submitter kind of agrees...)  (cbs11tv.com) (187)
(Washington Times) Obvious Media hypocrisy as bankrupt Tribune company hands out executive bonuses. Also, Megan Fox is bisexual  (washingtontimes.com) (93)
(CBS Minneapolis) Strange Police pull over a man who was driving while eating a bowl of cereal. "He was hungry"  (wcco.com) (59)
(Washington Post) Interesting If you want to interview Elizabeth Edwards, you can't mention John's mistress by name. You can, however, call her "That Whore," "Slutarella," or "Little Miss Skank"  (washingtonpost.com) (48)
(Local6) Florida If you're white and live in Orange County, you now qualify for Affirmative Action  (clickorlando.com) (126)
(My Fox DC) Scary Citizen: Do you think all of these floating pieces of plastic that have been coating the ground are anything to worry about? Maryland Government: Nah  (myfoxdc.com) (13)
(KSAT) Obvious Inmates complain about high prices at prison commisary. Would play world's smallest violin, but that'll cost you two packs of smokes and a reach-around  (ksat.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Dumbass 26-year-old rides a bicycle 180 miles to have sex with 15-year-old girl, wear yellow jersey  (thetimes-tribune.com) (90)
(PennLive) Asinine If at first you're not jailed for DUI, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again  (pennlive.com) (32)
(TC Palm) Florida Actual headline: Gravekeeper sued over monkey's resting place -- Actual topic: Florida  (tcpalm.com) (10)
(CTV) Interesting Ticketmaster to start using paperless tickets - after the ass-reaming you get over their prices, you'll be glad it was available as toilet paper  (ctv.ca) (50)
(Boortz) Hero Neal Boortz blast Obam........wait he is defending him. Ok who divided by zero  (boortz.com) (110)
(AP) Spiffy Long-awaited Ivory Coast elections set for November 29th, or as soon as 99.44% of eligible voters sign up to vote  (hosted.ap.org) (13)
(Politico) Ironic Dick Cheney channels FreeRepublic: "Everybody's in a giant conspiracy to achieve a different objective than the one we want to achieve"  (politico.com) (179)
(9 News) Dumbass "I had no idea there was a speed limit."  (9news.com) (63)
(CNN) Spiffy The average potency of marijuana has never been so freaking high man  (cnn.com) (230)
(MSNBC) Fail Dell launches "Netbooks for Wymyn" site. Includes phrases such as "Your netbook can do more than delivery juicy celebrity gossip. Did you know it can also find new recipes too? It's true"  (msnbc.msn.com) (268)
(Fox News) Amusing $2.6 million from US Government, check. Chinese female sex workers, check. Alcohol, check. Now where's the blow  (chattahbox.com) (123)
(Some Hands-Free Guy) Interesting University of Hawaii Chancellor will not shake hands with graduating students due to H1N1 virus concerns; will do chest bumps instead  (honoluluadvertiser.com) (20)
(AP) Hero Sideshow Bob's brother donates $100 million to Habitat for Humanity  (hosted.ap.org) (43)
(Yahoo) Amusing As if cancer weren't enough of a worry - now when you smoke you have to worry about NINJAS  (news.yahoo.com) (22)
(USA Today) Stupid Welcome to Obama's America, where a marine official telling the truth about failures to adequately supply troops gets him dragged in front of a political committee and fired  (usatoday.com) (170)
(Wall Street Journal) Unlikely New drug czar says we can't have a war on drugs unless we put the drugs in prison or something  (online.wsj.com) (78)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Asinine Remake of classic film 'The Dambusters' is being held up because no one can come up with a politically correct name for one of the character's dogs  (blogs.theage.com.au) (159)
(SLTrib) Amusing If this truck driver had just taken his breath mint like a normal person might, this link would never have been submitted to Fark  (sltrib.com) (15)
(BBC) Amusing Celibate priest writes sex guide for married couples. This should end well. By hand, obviously  (news.bbc.co.uk) (42)
(YouTube) Followup Video of protestors disrupting the beginning of Tucker Max's speech at Ohio State (Not safe for work language)  (youtube.com) (110)
(Reno Gazette-Journal) Strange Man sees gorilla in his motel room, shoots at it, blacks out, takes a drive and shoots his passenger. Then it gets weird  (rgj.com) (28)
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass "Will Fark for $" is not a smart way to advertise your prostitution services. With mug shot of 18-y-o hooker  (thesmokinggun.com) (174)
(Dallas News) Strange Taking too long to answer the door? That's a forking  (dallasnews.com) (12)
(Yahoo) Ironic US vigilante border patrol groups faced with the unique problem of preventing illegal crossings into Mexico now that swine flu is more prevalant in the US  (news.yahoo.com) (21)
(KnoxNews) Hero Woman armed with a bowl of chili and a broom fights off three home intruders. Remember, chili-control advocates: when chili is outlawed, only outlaws will have chili  (knoxnews.com) (33)
(An Amused Bystander) Fail Webcam captures eternal struggle between rail bridge and clueless truck drivers. Bridge, badly outnumbered, remains victorious  (11foot8.com) (46)
(New York Daily News) Strange Doctor to patient: "Yeah, um.....you know how we cut off your breasts cuz we thought you had breast cancer? My bad. Sorry bout that DUDE."  (nydailynews.com) (31)
(BBSpot) Asinine Apple rejects "Jesus raping retarded children with Hitler's penis" iPhone app. The Aristocrats  (bbspot.com) (56)
(SFGate) Scary Tyler be nimble, Tyler B. Quick, Tyler lights on fire some man's dick  (sfgate.com) (17)
(Yahoo) Misc All you never wanted to know about Angels & Demons, anti-matter, and Dan Brown's penchant for writing like a first grade version of Michael Crichton  (news.yahoo.com) (66)
(AJC) Amusing Best. Police sketch. Evar  (ajc.com) (74)
(Some Guy) Spiffy First marijuana vending machine to open Monday, E9 for Purple Kush, D2 for Funyuns  (ourkitchensink.com) (68)
(Huffington Post) Obvious John McCain's mom to Rush Limbaugh: You're a wanker  (huffingtonpost.com) (124)
(New York Daily News) Dumbass Just a tip for all you EMT's out there: Bosses apparently get all uppity if you take photos of murder victims and post them on your facebook page  (nydailynews.com) (18)
(AP) Stupid This story brought to you by the Rowan Atkinson School of Dentistry  (hosted.ap.org) (20)
(LiveLeak) Scary Fred takes the wrong line skiing, goes off 350 foot cliff, comes out without a scratch. With awesome Fred-induced snow crater  (liveleak.com) (23)
(My Fox DC) Silly What really goes on around a TV news set during commercials (w/ video)  (myfoxdc.com) (30)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Sarah Palin weighs in on the Miss California gay marriage issue. What took so long Mrs. P?  (myfoxdc.com) (336)
(Baltimore Sun) Followup Pope Benedict never, never, never belonged to the Hitler Youth. Except for that one time. But that's it  (baltimoresun.com) (113)
(Think Progress) Obvious Rush Limbaugh apology watch for today: Arizona Rep. John Shadegg  (thinkprogress.org) (43)
(Gawker) Dumbass Right next to a story of 36 murdered school children. Ooops  (gawker.com) (58)
(Michelle Malkin) Asinine Prominent Marine anti-war activist who was wounded during one of his three tours in Iraq turns out to be a mental patient who never even served  (michellemalkin.com) (167)
(News.com.au) Fail If your copy of a secret treaty with China says "DO NOT MAKE PUBLIC" it's probably best not to table it in Parliament  (theaustralian.news.com.au) (28)
(WGAL 8) Spiffy New service lets you do all kinds of cool things with your phone. But some say it may be dangerous. Other people say it's nifty. But we'll mostly focus on the people who say its dangerous  (wgal.com) (27)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious Men's underwear industry increases cost, complexity, and confusion to better appeal to core buyers: Women  (online.wsj.com) (67)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Vet' arrested for cutting down Canadian flag flying level with US flag in accordance with US laws, explains his side: "Georgia's looking a lot better. You all have some strange laws around here."  (tampabay.com) (83)
(Chicago Tribune) Spiffy The 10 most hated comedians. Yes, Fark's favorite made the list  (chicagotribune.com) (554)
(CBC) Interesting The rain in Spain shows traces of cocaine  T-Shirt  (cbc.ca) (43)
(My Fox DC) Obvious In reversing itself and blocking the release of photos of U.S. military personnel abusing detainees, the Obama administration claims to have found a new legal argument. It hasn't  (myfoxdc.com) (223)
(Google) Obvious Alicia Keys wants $5 from every "American Idol" fan. On a totally unrelated topic, the sign-up link for TotalFark is on the top right hand side of your screen  (google.com) (78)
(Telegraph) Ironic British comedian in trouble for taking a photo of a sign that says "it is a criminal offence to take photographs"  (telegraph.co.uk) (39)
(WSBTV) Asinine Old and busted: Paying child support after knocking someone up. New hotness: Paying child support after someone else knocks up your wife  (wsbtv.com) (336)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Former DC mayor who couldn't balance his own budget will help other US mayors not balance their budgets. FARK: We're not talking about Marion Barry  (myfoxdc.com) (8)
(Daily Mail) Strange Be careful who you spy on, lest you want your spy helicopter attacked by axe wielding gypsies  (dailymail.co.uk) (17)
(Daily Mail) Amusing One's a dog and one's an orangutan. How can these two live in Myrtle Beach without driving each other crazy?  (dailymail.co.uk) (37)
(Local6) Florida Lady assumes a check is a scam, gets good news that the check is real. In her defense, the check did come from the Florida Department of Revenue  (clickorlando.com) (17)
(LiveLeak) Dumbass Most. Reckless. Storm. Chaser. Evar  (liveleak.com) (112)
(Yahoo) Interesting Oprah to James Frey: "you are an Awful human being" James Frey : "I have a tape of a famous daytime TV talk show host revealing a giant secret" Oprah :" You Know, James, I think I may have been a little hard on you  (news.yahoo.com) (80)
(Washington Post) Obvious Actual U.S. Unemployment: 15.8%  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (171)
(Some Guy) Dumbass LA man steals identities to buy 2006 Lexus from CO, gets caught, impoersonates judge to try to get sheriff to drop charges, then it gets weird. Comments are best part of the article  (thetowntalk.com) (12)
(USA Today) Stupid Apparently, there's still a debate going on in the US about seatbelt laws. Sounds like a self-correcting problem  (usatoday.com) (118)
(MSNBC) Obvious Pope visits Nazareth, says hatred must end. Next on itinerary: Creed, Nickelback  (msnbc.msn.com) (45)
(The Pitch) Stupid A couple of Beanie Madoffs: speculator authors of 1998's "Beanie Baby Handbook" promised gullible kids Beanies would be worth $1000 in 2008. Today's Ebay price for most: $1  (blogs.pitch.com) (154)
(Some Guy) Obvious DUI defendant finally gets access to breathalyzer code, ironically finds developers were probably drunk when they wrote it  (dwi.com) (102)
(YouTube) Stupid Pastor gets the fear of God tasered into him by Arizona Border Police  (youtube.com) (201)
(Telegraph) Photoshop Photoshop this tiger toddler encounter  (telegraph.co.uk) (27)
(Google) Dumbass Dear parents: we'd like to take this opportunity to let you know how truly sorry we are for tear-gassing your children. Sincerely, Turkish police  (google.com) (30)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Not news: Teen girl doesn't wear panties on school picture day. News: Picture of her hoo hoo ends up in yearbook. Fark: School officials tell her to "laugh it off," continue to distribute yearbooks  (wtsp.com) (529)
(The Tennessean) Interesting Do you take this bride... hold on, Bob, is that you? (With hot or not pic)  (tennessean.com) (99)
(Guardian.com) Weird 53 year old Mormon Vietnam veteran constructs cardboard flippers to swim into Vietnamese compound and write faith based book. Then it gets weird  (guardian.co.uk) (67)
(News 5) Followup Council tells man that he can continue to have the female mannequin outside his restaurant, but from now on she can't be topless  (wlwt.com) (51)
(My Fox DC) Fail Educators to require personal finance education in hopes of teaching kids the importance of saving. FARK: Requirement raises cost for the school districts without any funding from the state  (myfoxdc.com) (98)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man gets 90 days in jail for shooting wife during sex  (springfieldnewssun.com) (143)
(Tonawanda News) Amusing "During (our) interview, the driver was irate at the passenger and kept yelling at him for asking the police if we had any weed"  (tonawanda-news.com) (74)
(ThisIsNottingham) Strange British family pay $43,000 to have their son sedated and flown home from Australia after he develops a fear of flying halfway through their vacation  (thisisnottingham.co.uk) (99)
(The Local (Germany)) Dumbass When test-driving a new convertible, don't leave the purchase money loose in the backseat  (thelocal.de) (38)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Hero You know you're a bad ass when you're not afraid to fight Taliban in pink I ♥ NY boxer shorts  (star-telegram.com) (254)
(Some Nihilist) Interesting Bowling alley employee abuducted at gun point and forced to open the safe, mark it zero  (thechronicleherald.ca) (55)
(CBS Sacramento) Fail Just because the Nigerian Scam comes to your door with a giant bag filled with cash doesn't mean you won't get owned by a cup of coffee  (cbs13.com) (88)
(AP) Stupid Neither rain, sleet nor the gloom of night will keep postal carriers from their appointed rounds. However a 20 pound terrier will  (hosted.ap.org) (39)
(Some Guy) Interesting Georgia police chief suspended for wearing jeans, boots to work. Mirrored sunglasses, cowboy hat still OK  (wsbtv.com) (31)
(News.com.au) Interesting If you're a teenage girl with no money, a two-pack-a-day smoking habit and no job prospects, the solution is simple: have a baby. No, really  (themercury.com.au) (128)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this sculpture  (clivew.com) (29)
(WRAL) Stupid Man builds huge Alfred E. Neuman portrait out of thousands of CDs to fulfill lifelong dream of being published in Mad magazine. Could've just written amateurish, predictable satire to achieve same goal (w/ pic)  (wral.com) (70)
(The Sun) Sick 75-year-old granny has "designer vagina" operation to improve her sex life. The sun hasn't been there in years  T-Shirt  (thesun.co.uk) (104)
(Telegraph) Strange Former KKK grand wizard and presidential hopeful David Duke is currently running a birdwatching company in Austria  (telegraph.co.uk) (73)
(Daytona Beach News-Journal) Florida Man who was just robbed of $12,000 while trying to buy 20 pounds of marijuana to 911 operator: "I was just held at gunpoint trying to buy drugs. We're following the dude right now."  (news-journalonline.com) (49)
(AJC) Silly Federal lawsuit to decide if Bounty or Brawny is the 'quicker picker-upper'  (ajc.com) (41)
(Stuff) Silly 13 year old suspended from school for putting green highlights through her hair (with "why don't you take a seat over there" pic)  (stuff.co.nz) (222)
(The Sun) Scary Terrified office worker films spinning grey object gliding threateningly over Bristol without making a sound: "It was the freakiest thing I have ever seen in my life" (with vid)  (thesun.co.uk) (168)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 210: "Happy Farktography Anniversary IV"  (farktography.net) (205)

Wed May 13, 2009
(Telegraph) Cool Church unveils new statue of Jesus showing him in jeans and a modern shirt. The surprising part is that so far, nobody's complained  (telegraph.co.uk) (142)
(Daily Star) Fail British ministers admit they 'guessed' how many immigrants would enter the UK when it opened up its borders. Which may explain why they got it wrong...by 2,400%  (dailystar.co.uk) (111)
(MSNBC) Interesting Yo mama is so fat, she gets her own nightclub  (msnbc.msn.com) (134)
(Baltimore Sun) Asinine Who the hell spends $441 at a bagel shop? Bernie Madoff, that's who  (baltimoresun.com) (63)
(Tacoma News Tribune) Amusing $200K man cave has just enough room for five sports cars and 300 bottles of wine  (thenewstribune.com) (134)
(News.com.au) Hero Kangaroo hops into surf, gets into trouble, is rescued by passing Steve Irwin-style surfer dude. (With pic)  (news.com.au) (57)
(The Register) Unlikely Pentagon says they may call in an airstrike on Matthew Broderick  (theregister.co.uk) (76)
(MeeHive) Interesting Providence mayor wants to tax private college students $125 per semester. Trustifarians and Hipster douche bags claim it'll cut into their Pabst budget  (meehive.com) (112)
(CNN) Florida A total of 28 people were found in the water, no one knows how they got there, see tag  (wpbf.com) (41)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Things that go bump in the night  (fark.com) (44)
(MSNBC) Followup LDS Sect: Can you throw out all that evidence of bigamy and underage sex? Texas Prosecutors: Sure that sounds...WAIT A MINUTE  (msnbc.msn.com) (162)
(ktvb.com) Strange The Burger King is lonely after somebody stole his 14 foot tall inflatable Spongebob Squarepants  (ktvb.com) (35)
(AP) Sad "Transportation Dept. scraps NYC slot auctions". Awww, man, first Craigslist, and now the NY Transportation Department?  (hosted.ap.org) (16)
(Billings Gazette) Dumbass News: Smug-looking bastard assaults his girlfriend and her daughter. Fark: "There were no marks on her nose, she said, because Bryant has no teeth."  (billingsgazette.net) (26)
(Seattle Times) Hero News: 4 year old girl gets into stranger's truck. Brother chases down truck and pulls sister out of the vehicle. Fark: Then brothers get all their friends together to go pay the driver a visit at his house  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (140)
(Redding.com) Dumbass Woman busted for having sex with underage boys, with mugshot equivalent of being dealt 15 in blackjack  T-Shirt  (redding.com) (135)
(Gawker) Dumbass Glenn Beck thinks ACORN is planning his assassination. Really. Why are you laughing? He said it, not me. I'm just the messenger here  (feeds.gawker.com) (318)
(Houston Chronicle) Interesting Reporter gets probation for trespassing on the property of a man he was investigating. What really makes this newsworthy is that it happened in Texas and he wasn't shot  (chron.com) (22)
(Reason Magazine) Interesting With less than 6% of the $787,000,000,000 stimulus money spent, and the economy already recovering mostly on its own, should the government stop while it's ahead?  (reason.com) (276)
(AP) Followup Former Miss USA becomes former Miss USA director over California wide nude lesbian pornography or something  (hosted.ap.org) (225)
(WBBM) Asinine 1 dead, 2 critical in LSD wreck...Who the hell drives on LSD?  (wbbm780.com) (167)
(CTV) Interesting Bastards on the rise in North America, but no match for Iceland bastard rates  (ctv.ca) (58)
(Breitbart.com) Unlikely That guy who tried to kill Pope John Paul II, who thinks he is Jesus, wants to convert to Christianity...at a special baptism ceremony at the Vatican  (breitbart.com) (38)
(Some Guy) PSA Was your house a meth lab? Do you look for: Rotten teeth in the baseboards? Porn stuck to the kitchen floor? Well, it's sweeps week in Southern Ohio, so come along for a very different kind of home inspection  (wcpo.com) (73)
(Stuff) Dumbass Offering police a joint probably not the best way to avoid arrest during a drugs raid  (stuff.co.nz) (25)
(AFP) Interesting Prehistoric fishing gear found in Egypt. Not found with it: Prehistoric can of Bud  (news.yahoo.com) (72)
(BusinessWeek) Interesting David Geffen may buy 20 percent of the NY Times as a "civic investment." Critics worry he could turn it into a mouthpiece for Hollywood liberal politics  (businessweek.com) (77)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Mother of the year tased after scrapping with deputy in front of kids after he finds cocaine in her car. With mug shot goodness  (wtsp.com) (52)
(11 Alive) Asinine 10-year old arrested and fingerprinted for possessing a toy weapon on school property and with terroristic acts and threats: "We got it from Wal-Mart for $5.96, in the toy section right next to the cowboy hats"  (11alive.com) (218)
(Reuters) Sad Castrated hippo dies, presumably of embarassment (no photos in link)  (reuters.com) (48)
(Bloomberg) Followup 28 days later, WHO investigating reports that the Swine Flu was man-made  (bloomberg.com) (127)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Chicago police officers to be rated on job performance, adaptability, attitudes, and interactions with the public. No word on whether there will be a talent or swimsuit portion of the evaluation  (chicagotribune.com) (44)
(Yahoo) Obvious Obama now wants to block abuse photos until that "Hope" poster guy can work some magic on them  (news.yahoo.com) (193)
(KOIN) Amusing So you want to get rid of that old mattress. Do you (C) spray paint "Mexican Swine Flu Mattress" on it and prop it up on a highway overpass?  (koinlocal6.com) (42)
(First Coast News) Stupid Apparently Texans are being too uptight again... this time, it is about a beer barn where scantily clad women serve drinks. Or it could have to do with it being across the street from an elementary school  (firstcoastnews.com) (126)
(Baltimore Sun) Cool Half-pound hamburger stuffed with cheese and deep-fried is Maryland's best. But it's fried in canola oil, so it's not that bad. With pic that will require cardiac catheterization  (baltimoresun.com) (142)
(Thanh Nien News) Amusing "Men should hold onto dongs, due to recent slashes"  (thanhniennews.com) (65)
(The Morning Call) Weird Dude, flares my car  (mcall.com) (33)
(WCPO) Dumbass Mailing 11lbs of pot to yourself: $100. Telling the judge your 28 lbs of pot is for personal use: $500. Judge responding with "Cheech and Chong would have had a hard time smoking that much" PRICELESS  (wcpo.com) (75)
(Guardian.com) Cool Texas museum acquires Michelangelo's first painting, made when was about 12yrs old. Experts dispute authenticity of the painting, as it depicts dogs playing poker  (guardian.co.uk) (111)
(Seattle Times) Dumbass Man hits pedestrian at Home Depot and runs down a state trooper before leaving the lot. Hits a van, backs up and hits it again. Drives off screaming "WOO HOO" as he strikes several vehicles before crashing head-on with a semi. TA-DA  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (105)
(Yahoo) Cool Blue diamond sells for $9.5 million. Green clover, purple horseshoe expected to go for considerably less  (news.yahoo.com) (91)
(The New York Times) Obvious "Absinthe is now apparently as uncool and contrived as the account executives and would-be hipsters who favor it"  (thepour.blogs.nytimes.com) (318)
(The Daily Show) Amusing The Daily Show on ASU's refusal to give President Obama an honorary degree: "The Harvard of date rape"  (thedailyshow.com) (339)
(CNN) Sad Thirty years on, search continues for the first missing child on a milk carton  (cnn.com) (184)
(TC Palm) Florida Preschool teacher discovers abusing his students is a hard habit to kick  (tcpalm.com) (76)
(FARK) Photoshop Theme: What famous people might have looked like... had they been animals  (fark.com) (101)
(WBBM) PSA FDA recalls face paint: Every drunk, beer-bellied sportsfan PANIC  (wbbm780.com) (47)
(PennLive) Asinine Pennsylvania passes law requiring health insurance companies to allow parents to continue covering their "children" under their plan until age 29. Because nobody likes you when you're 33  (pennlive.com) (239)
(WBBM) Sick If you"befriend" someone named "Pantielover" on a file sharing site, there is a good chance that something that shouldn't be going on, is going on (w/ just what you'd expect mugshot goodness)  (wbbm780.com) (215)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Protip: When drunk and banging on your neighbor's house claiming to be a deputy sheriff, make sure there isn't already a real one inside  (katu.com) (25)
(Telegraph) Strange British fisherman catch hallucinogenic fish. You should have seen the one that got away  (telegraph.co.uk) (95)
(Some Guy) Interesting Woman communicates telepathically with dogs. "I'm sensing steak"  (pressherald.mainetoday.com) (85)
(WBBM) Scary You know how everyone at work and at you neighborhood tavern gets into the Super Bowl pool, and you always kinda know that its illegal, but nothing ever happens? Better think again  (wbbm780.com) (89)
(MSNBC) Obvious Craigslist just lost 90% of their traffic  (msnbc.msn.com) (279)
(CNN) Amusing Taking a page from the Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf playbook, Taliban leaders peek out from their bomb craters to demand that all Pakistani leaders step down  (edition.cnn.com) (46)
(Metro) Weird Do you have any plans for how you would cope if your company went bust and left you stranded on a Russian container ship in Bristol with only a German shopping channel for entertainment?  (metro.co.uk) (52)
(My Fox DC) Obvious Consumer Tip: No one is going to give you an extended warranty on that 1983 Tercel that your mom gave you when you started school that has 175,000 miles on it  (myfoxdc.com) (112)
(WTLX) Dumbass ♫You don't tug on Superman's cape,You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don't fark with a Waffle House waitress  (wltx.com) (142)
(AFP) Silly Rabbi wants "scantily clad dummies" out of shops, but getting Paris Hilton to stop shopping likely to be difficult  (news.yahoo.com) (226)
(Yahoo) Interesting Researchers, who in no way are recieving money under the table from the Tobacco Institute, announce that smoking seems to boost the activity of a gene that burns fat  (news.yahoo.com) (212)
(Some Guy) Cool It pays to clean out your car's glove box  (kgw.com) (59)
(Livenews) Silly 15-year-old Kiwi boy becomes depressed after sleeping with his mom's best friend. Mainly because he knows he'll never top it  (livenews.com.au) (108)
(USA Today) Asinine After three weeks of telling everyone to panic, the WHO can't understand why people are wasting Tamiflu on even mildly swine-flu-like symptoms  (usatoday.com) (80)
(Reuters) Scary Toilet snake: 1, Trouser snake: 0  T-Shirt  (au.news.yahoo.com) (125)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fiber optic engineer  (srs.gov) (27)
(Some Guy) Amusing Hugo Chavez names new cell phone after penis. Apparently, he wants to reach out and touch someone  (intomobile.com) (136)
(Boston Globe) Fail Good: Homeland security agents can skip security lines, find out who the air marshals are on their flight, and carry guns. Bad: A part-time harbormaster's badge is apparently enough to fool airline staff. Fark: Twice  (boston.com) (69)
(News.com.au) Stupid Emergency services opted not to use emergency warning system during Australian bushfires because of concerns that if they over-used it, people might not pay attention to it in a real emergency  (news.com.au) (25)
(Some Chick) Asinine After spending $773K on soft drinks for their 14,000 prisoners last year, the Oregon State corrections officials will trim back and only allow one Coke per week per inmate  (koinlocal6.com) (129)
(Salon) Interesting Utah tip-toes cautiously into the 1930s, allows alcoholic beverages to be served directly from the bartender to the customer across the bar. You still have to sign a release acknowledging that you are going to hell  (salon.com) (109)
(News.com.au) Obvious It really sucks when you watch an adult DVD called "Affairs with Others' Wives" and there's a scene starring your wife and your friend  (news.com.au) (220)
(Denver Channel) Scary The good thing about being a dog groomer at Petsmart is you can take your dog to work with you. The bad part is when it kills the customer's dog  (thedenverchannel.com) (81)
(AP) Weird Not news: someone unplugged the fridge. Still not news: They left moldy food in there. Not news yet: Employee decides to clean it. FARK: 28 people sent to hospital for vomiting, hazmat team called in  (hosted.ap.org) (112)
(Daily Star) Interesting Pub owner sets up a 'Smoking Research Centre' in her bar to get round the nanny state's cigarette ban  (dailystar.co.uk) (92)
(CTV) Sick Why don't you eat at the food court? Is it the crowd? The smell? The baby rats in your chow mein?  (winnipeg.ctv.ca) (52)
(News.com.au) Weird For some reason, a man who can jog, chat up women and masturbate all at the same time is considered "criminal" instead of "talented"  (news.com.au) (55)
(CBS News) Asinine ...then they came for the soda drinkers, but I did not drink soda, so I did not speak up  (cbsnews.com) (603)
(Some Guy) Asinine Quadriplegic wheelchair-bound Vietnam vet given $360 ticket for parking in handicapped space. They seen him rollin' and they hatin'  (kptv.com) (143)
(USA Today) Cool Delaware may suddenly become relevant and cool again. One signature away from legalized sports betting  (usatoday.com) (65)

Tue May 12, 2009
(WWL) Interesting Louisiana may soon allow gun owners to bring their weapons onto campuses. This should end well  (wwl.com) (449)
(Sun Sentinel) Fail Man tries, fails to break in to pharmacy. Returns later with more tools, fails to break in, then arrested as he is leaving when police respond to first break in attempt  (sun-sentinel.com) (16)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida ♫ Shave and a haircut- FREE BEER ♫  (sun-sentinel.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Followup Gay porn actor at Christian college tried to push back but couldn't resist the pressure so he's pulling out, though he wants to come again. Penises  (post-gazette.com) (149)
(Some Girl) Photoshop Photoshop this coniferous construction  (img2.scoop.co.nz) (41)
(Bangor Daily News) Scary Mind you, moose can be nasty, especially when they fall from the sky. Just ask my sister  (bangordailynews.com) (77)
(Fox 4 KC) Strange Man breaks into home, gets naked, eats food, looks at porn on the internet, and falls asleep on the couch. Whatever happened to just stealing something and leaving?  (fox4kc.com) (79)
(Denver Channel) Obvious Police said the toddler did not have a previous record  (thedenverchannel.com) (68)
(Free Press) Dumbass If you're an unlicensed 16-year-old who is driving a stolen car, it's best to not flash your high beams at a cop  (freep.com) (89)
(CNN) Interesting Being blind, 'you have to be adventurous.' I SAID, 'YOU HAVE TO BE ADVENTUROUS'  (cnn.com) (72)
(Reuters) Scary Space Shuttle damaged on takeoff, and even though NASA says there's nothing to see here, move along folks, they're rushing to prep another shuttle for launch "just in case"  (reuters.com) (354)
(Gizmodo) Scary Arrested for using your iPhone to take a picture of an open ATM in public? Hmm, there's no app for that  (gizmodo.com) (315)
(Google) Amusing U.S. earns first-ever seat on UN Human Rights Council, joining pillars such as Cuba, China, and Saudi Arabia  (google.com) (251)
(AP) Interesting A federal jury in Miami has convicted five men of plotting with al-Qaida to topple Chicago's Sears Tower and bomb FBI offices. Dick Cheney for the Win  (wptv.com) (144)
(Canada.com) Weird Woman files human rights complaint because her son wasn't allowed to see someone who might be his grandfather  (calgaryherald.com) (55)
(AFP) Fail Just in case you were wondering, when you become a security guard at a prison there are some expectations that come with it... Like locking the cell doors  (news.yahoo.com) (23)
(AP) Dumbass Burning popcorn in a microwave and tying your dorm-mates' doors shut does not a funny prank make, say police  (hosted.ap.org) (87)
(CBS Baltimore) Silly Sweet potato spill causes massive traffic yam  T-Shirt  (wjz.com) (78)
(My Fox DC) Fail A car-sharing program intended to save Maryland money has ended up costing $1,300 per hour of driving  (myfoxdc.com) (54)
(MSNBC) Interesting Flat screen TVs: Superior technology or CHILD KILLING MACHINES?  (msnbc.msn.com) (307)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this pirate  (af.mil) (31)
(Baltimore Sun) Plug In a shocking news story, patient at psychiatric hospital wants right to refuse electroshock therapy. The fact that this method is still current is revolting, because patient isn't even terminal  (baltimoresun.com) (178)
(BBC) Sappy 109-year-old woman writes to the Queen to complain about the birthday cards she gets from her, receives surprise face-to-face apology from Prince William  (news.bbc.co.uk) (110)
(Some Guy) Interesting Towel can help build your body, get you high  (wbaltv.com) (61)
(The Local (Sweden)) Interesting Swedish court says you can abort your child if it's a girl and you wanted a boy, or if it's a boy and you wanted a cthulhu  (thelocal.se) (458)
(ABC News) Asinine Your unsupervised toddler crawls through a dog door and drowns in the pool. Do you: A. Take personal responsibility? B. Get busy making a replacement kid or C. Sue the dog door maker for not warning you that babies can crawl through a dog door?  (abcnews.go.com) (392)
(CNN) Stupid Today's made up word that will make you want to stab someone in the neck whenever you hear it: "Weisure". Note: For optimal enjoyment, read this article in your best Elmer Fudd voice  (cnn.com) (99)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Obvious In breaking news, hot chicks think they're ugly and ugly chicks think they're hot  (suntimes.com) (921)
(AP) Sad You know the ecomony sucks when even the children forced to work in sweatshops are losing $21 billion a year  (hosted.ap.org) (50)
(Philly) Sick If you're stuck in an airplane at Philadelphia International Airport, don't even think about asking what the problem is. Unless you want real problems  (philly.com) (259)
(Some Lady) Dumbass Some prostitutes wait for johns to pull over; this one jumps in front of them, exposes her breasts, then solicits them (with several SFW "do not want" pictures)  (thebaynet.com) (127)
(Rochester D&C) Stupid Because there's nothing the media likes more than beating a dead horse: "When will next deadly pandemic strike?"  (democratandchronicle.com) (70)
(Some Guy) Strange Japanese men encouraged to kneel before toilets, Zod  (inventorspot.com) (106)
(700 WLW) Scary Man accused of trying to lure little girl into his car, presumably to help in quest to destroy ring in Mordor (with Hobbit-like mugshot)  (700wlw.com) (117)
(UPI) Interesting ZZ top were right -- go and get yourself a pair of cheap sunglasses. Still no cure for Corey Hart  (upi.com) (119)
(NYPost) Followup Tapes reveal pilot was hitting on his 24 yr-old female co-pilot moments before Buffalo, NY crash. Also failed three proficiency tests on general aviation and numerous "check ride" competency exams  (nypost.com) (359)
(Houston Chronicle) Amusing Hurricane Ike was the perfect storm - for making babies  (chron.com) (94)
(Yahoo) Cool New Detroit mayor turns down mansion offer, even though no official rule prohibits accepting gifts under $25  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (61)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Girl moves out of her college dorm room for the summer break, forgets to pack her pot plants  (katv.com) (142)
(Aziz Is Bored) Amusing Blogger gets his knickers in a twist over "fake" IMAX screens. Then uses the "do you know how many followers I have on Twitter?" threat to try and get a refund  (azizisbored.tumblr.com) (186)
(Telegraph) Strange New Zealand to host world's first penguin sports championship, assuming they can find enough Yetis to wield the clubs  (telegraph.co.uk) (32)
(Some Guy) Amusing Awkward Family Photos? yeah, there's a website for that  (awkwardfamilyphotos.com) (180)
(BBC) Obvious Today's Google Streetview outrage brought to you by Greece  (news.bbc.co.uk) (55)
(Google) Interesting A year of successful drug busts has forced up the wholesale price of cocaine, advertising campaigns  (google.com) (25)
(Nacogdoches Daily Sentinel) Dumbass Let's go over this again: The patrol car is not a good place to hide your weed as they're hauling your ass to jail  (dailysentinel.com) (23)
(Boston Globe) Interesting Early tests for autism. "Are you related to Jenny McCarthy" strangely absent  (boston.com) (65)
(Some Girl, Some Girl, and Some Guy) Spiffy Old and busted: Gay marriage. New hotness: Threesomes  (thedailybeast.com) (540)
(Engadget) Interesting Robot Hall of Fame inducts five new members  (engadget.com) (45)
(Livenews) Hero Germany fines man for ripping off Hitler's head. Jews the world over breathe easy as the Zombie Fuhrer plot is foiled once again  (livenews.com.au) (55)
(WCPO) Dumbass Armed Robbery 101 - Today's lesson: When encountering a locked glass door don't use your shotgun to knock & get the clerk's attention, he may not let you in  (wcpo.com) (18)
(London Times) Scary Teachers at UK school fill pupils heads with knowledge, falling masonry  (timesonline.co.uk) (18)
(London Times) Fail How to fit a square peg in a round hole  (timesonline.co.uk) (52)
(Oswestry Advertizer) Obvious Thief strikes at "Bank Robbers" party  (bordercountiesadvertizer.co.uk) (12)
(SLO Tribune) Asinine Tanker planes forced to reload 120 miles away from Santa Barbara fire because proper Forest Service paperwork wasn't in place at local airport. Heckuva job there, Smokey  (sanluisobispo.com) (40)
(Livenews) Strange Man replaces 35 year's worth of bathing with "standing on one leg, smoking marijuana and saying prayers to Lord Shiva". Obviously, it's a sex thing  (livenews.com.au) (24)
(Telegraph) Amusing Personal aide leaves Gordon Brown's make up tips in the back of a taxi. What a slap on the face  (telegraph.co.uk) (31)
(The Sun) Fail If it takes police strip searching your wife three years after your wedding for you to find out she's a he, you're definitely doing it wrong  (thesun.co.uk) (60)
(Daily Camera) Cool Man brings squeegee to knife fight...and wins  (dailycamera.com) (39)
(Fox News) Sad Oregon woman finds out after 55 years that she was switched at birth, disraught that she's been a Ducks fan all these years when she could have been rooting for some SEC team  (foxnews.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Obvious Cuban defector claims he bugged celebrities' hotel rooms with cameras and microphones for Castro to enjoy later with friends  (canadafreepress.com) (59)
(Daily Camera) Amusing How is Babby's horn? Driver named Phil Babby tailgates car for 10 miles down canyon, honking entire time. Yes, drugs were involved  (dailycamera.com) (49)
(Daily Mail) Sad World's oldest woman relenquishes title  (dailymail.co.uk) (84)
(Daily Express) Ironic Eating in to save cash costs us billions every year in broken plates, wine stains on carpets and bizarre household accidents  (express.co.uk) (102)

Mon May 11, 2009
(NYPost) Asinine Apparently, if you're the daughter of Gambino crime family boss John "Dapper Don" Gotti, you're allowed to get $650,000 behind on your mortgage before you get foreclosed on  (nypost.com) (115)
(Ohio.com) Stupid Problem: Infestation of bugs threatens to kill off all the ash trees in the city. Solution: Use stimulus money to cut down all the ash trees, infected or not  (ohio.com) (81)
(KING5) Sappy Australian shepherd dog adopts three ugly-ass kitties who lost their mother in car accident  (king5.com) (62)
(Cedar Rapids Gazette) Dumbass This week's "Man impersonating police officer pulls over real-life deputy" story brought to you by Benton County, Iowa  (gazetteonline.com) (38)
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida "Perkins told deputies she didn't remember what happened, but she believes the dispute might have been over some beer"  (mysuncoast.com) (36)
(Buffalo News) Interesting "You wanna know the truth, me and my buddy ordered some food and it was the worst [expletive] double cheeseburger in my life, my buddy's fries were ice cold, so we dined and dashed"  (buffalonews.com) (140)
(WFSB) Dumbass Connecticut State Police would like you to know that a mental patient walked away from the hospital last Friday night. But don't worry, he was only convicted of manslaughter, NOT murder  (wfsb.com) (36)
(1010WINS) Interesting Student describes himself as "White African American", gets suspended from medical school  (1010wins.com) (763)
(KJRH) Fail American Airlines crew accidentally switches radio frequency to one used during hijackings. Wrong vector Victor  (kjrh.com) (110)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Dumbass Not News:Texan judge charged with secretary fondling. News: He lies about it and is charged with perjury. Fark: He fondles his case worker  (suntimes.com) (70)
(Reuters) Interesting Study finds acupuncture is an effective treatment for back pain. Even if you use toothpicks  (uk.reuters.com) (136)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Tired of continually feeding the parking meters in Chicago, city employee creates his own "Official Business" parking sticker to avoid tickets. It works. For awhile  (chicagotribune.com) (82)
(National Post) Strange Montauk Monster washes up again. Somebody please kill it with fire this time  (network.nationalpost.com) (143)
(Columbia Tribune) Dumbass Caller With Disguised Voice: "Yeah, I need a delivery at this abandoned house" Sub Shop Manager: "Well it is after midnight, but my 18 y/o female driver will be right over"  (columbiatribune.com) (377)
(Telegraph) Strange Giant translucent blobs appearing on British beaches. But enough about the English holidaymakers, this is a story about a four-foot jellyfish  T-Shirt  (telegraph.co.uk) (82)
(Boston Globe) Strange Twins rob and attack store clerk with hammer and hot coffee. Who throws coffee? I mean, honestly  (boston.com) (68)
(Google) Strange Mysterious black smoke closes school in Illinois over fears of toxic chemicals, time travel  (google.com) (97)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Behold the miracle of TV anchorwoman makeup with DUI mugshot comparison  (blogs.tampabay.com) (246)
(LA Times) Obvious If you're going to take the orange tip off a toy gun that lets everybody know it's a fake, don't point it at a real cop  (latimes.com) (140)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Uglyass fox cub survives two weeks in a snare after mother brings him food every day. I've got something in my eye  (dailymail.co.uk) (99)
(Des Moines Register) Strange Man tells police he dumped a blue recliner into a river to honor a friend's dying wish and make an artificial reef at his favorite fishing spot  (desmoinesregister.com) (42)
(CNN) Sad Five soldiers killed when U.S. soldier opens fire at Camp Liberty in Baghdad  (edition.cnn.com) (339)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Dumbass Women fight, land in jail, over ownership of photo of Obama. Because photos of Obama are so hard to come by. Bonus: One of them hired a getaway driver for after she stole the photo  (news.cincinnati.com) (81)
(Salon) Obvious 13 People who Ruined it for Everyone Else  (open.salon.com) (481)
(Drew) FarkBlog Bi little ponies, Happy Ending Meals and ABBA rebjorn: Headlines of the Week 5/3 - 5/9  (fark.com) (32)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting As old and ugly as Joan Rivers, the Eiffel Tower celebrates its anniversary May 15. Here are some reviews when it was first revealed  (online.wsj.com) (68)
(Some Guy) PSA Attention New Yorkers: A plane will fly down the Hudson today. - Regards Barack  (nyc.gov) (71)
(MSNBC) Sick Taliban finally agrees that letting girls in Afghanistan get an eductaion is a good idea. Just kidding, they're using poison gas on them  (msnbc.msn.com) (317)
(Globe and Mail) Interesting While in Israel, Pope calls for creation of Palestinian state, exchange of hilarious hats  (theglobeandmail.com) (473)
(CBC) Silly Judge upset that South Park "contributes nothing to society" but blames it for attacks on red-heads. Make up your mind, your Honour  (cbc.ca) (233)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Today's episode of "Ow, My Balls" is once again brought to you by Carl's Jr. and the state of Florida  (nwfdailynews.com) (41)
(Guardian.com) Misc Top ten misquoted lines from the movies. Frankly, my dear, I don't play it again  (guardian.co.uk) (280)
(AP) Cool Two basketballs will go with Atlantis as it launches to fix the Hubble telescope. One is nearly 100 years old and was used by the guy who the Hubble telecsope is named after, who was a star baller at U of Chicago  (hosted.ap.org) (51)
(Yahoo) Scary Chronic underlying medical conditions continue assault on U.S  (news.yahoo.com) (62)
(Fox News) Obvious Golf analyst grovels and apologizes for tasteless joke about Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi. In related news, Wanda Sykes and Obama still hoping Rush Limbaugh's kidneys will fail  (foxnews.com) (503)
(Homestar Runner) Amusing Oh my grash, gals, Guess who just got a date for the priggity prizom?  (homestarrunner.com) (81)
(SFGate) Interesting Bike to Work Day aims to raise awareness, emergency room visits  (sfgate.com) (190)
(TC Palm) Florida Up-and-coming rapper robs a store with a BB gun to gain some "street cred." Instead all he gets is the "Florida" tag  (tcpalm.com) (48)
(SeattlePI) Interesting Woman searches for her stolen wheelchair. So far she's made it halfway down the driveway  (seattlepi.com) (31)
(AP) Asinine Anchorage residents living in bear country upset that bears live there. It's no jamboree  (hosted.ap.org) (94)
(Yahoo) Sad Bronx man killed hours after graduating from college. His student loan officer is going to be pissed  (news.yahoo.com) (33)
(Telegram) Fail FEMA leaps into action, announces cleanup plan for December ice storm  (telegram.com) (49)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Amusing Maryland Governor wants law passed to allow cell phone jamming in prisons, which will make smuggling them in useless. They feel it would take YEARS for someone to figure out a way to get around that. Oh wait  (abc2news.com) (111)
(NASA) Cool This is shuttle launch control with T-4 hours and counting. Shuttle mission STS-125 set to launch at 2:01pm EDT. Watch it live  (nasa.gov) (443)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Unlikely Drew Peterson's lawyer claims prosecutors don't have a case against his client, forgetting about things like "evidence" and "a list of dead ex-wives"  (suntimes.com) (49)
(London Times) Amusing Gardening technology in Britain is leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of the world  (timesonline.co.uk) (57)
(CBS Sacramento) Obvious Twenty four graduating seniors demonstrate their collective intelligence by crowding into an elevator and trying to ride it to a different floor. Gravity ensues  (cbs13.com) (126)
(News.com.au) Amusing After six years and $12M worth of testing, Australian scientists can officially confirm that New Zealand wine tastes like cat pee  (news.com.au) (62)
(CBS 2 Lost Angeles) Ironic California wildfire started by power tools used to clear brush in order to comply with fire safety regulations  (cbs2.com) (64)
(The New York Times) Sad Farewell pssshhht Martha pssshhht Mason pssshhht  (nytimes.com) (94)
(The Sun) PSA Today's media scaremongering: your sofa can kill you. Still no cure for cancer, and subby doesn't trust that end table either  (thesun.co.uk) (42)
(Herald-Leader) Spiffy Dude, she's 14  (kentucky.com) (185)
(Telegraph) Interesting 10% of autistic children may recover, become excellent drivers  (telegraph.co.uk) (98)
(The Atlantic) Weird In 1926 a KKK chapter fielded a baseball team. Then it gets weird  (jeffreygoldberg.theatlantic.com) (110)
(News.com.au) Silly 1000 lumberjacks not OK due to parrot  (theaustralian.news.com.au) (69)
(Daily Kos) Obvious Republicans want to declare 2010 the Year of the Bible. Al Stewart to declare it Year of the Cat  (dailykos.com) (445)
(Toronto Star) Interesting One thousand Tamil Tigers, with tots in tow, throw tantrum on Toronto thruway, totally thwarting traffic and teeing off travelers  (thestar.com) (140)

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