If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
GoogleWeb Fark
These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.

(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun June 29, 2008
(Some Alaskan) Scary Good Idea: A bicycle ride through the park with your local bike club. Bad Idea: A midnight bicycle race through grizzly bear feeding grounds (1)
(NWA News) Amusing "At 6:10 p.m. Thursday, a woman reported a raccoon near Forfar Drive and Kincardine was not acting right and had tried to fight a truck" (66)
(Denver Post) Dumbass Sales of the 1985 Nissan Maxima expected to skyrocket after teen drives off the side of Pikes Peak in a 1,000 foot plunge in an apparent suicide attempt but survives with bumps and bruises "Becky is a beeeeeeyyyyyyaaaaatch" (79)
(SFGate) Asinine News: City of San Francisco paying for flights back to Honduras for convicted crack dealers so the dealers won't be deported. Fark: So they can come back carte blanche (73)
(JSOnline) Strange "They robbed us? Oh well, back to the 16th green" (21)
(Yahoo) Caption Caption this male model (65)
(Philly) Stupid Secretary loses court fight where she claimed sexual discrimination because her boss asked her to get coffee (78)
(KMBC 9 News) Scary Not news: House catches fire. News: It's the result of kids playing with fireworks. Fark: In the attic (17)
(Denver Channel) Obvious The latest victim of high gas prices? Nevada brothels. Talk about pain at the pump (24)
(News.com.au) Scary "Ladies and gentlemen, please remain calm, that noise was a lightning strike that blew a hole in the plane. Last month it was a flaming satellite on re-entry that missed us by a couple miles. Who needs a drink?" (29)
(AP) News Medical helicopters crash in midair collision near Flagstaff killing at least seven (69)
(Canoe) Dumbass Driving instructor finds out that there might be flaws in his scheme to use his job position to recruit young teens for amateur sex videos (62)
(Moe Zart) Photoshop Photoshop this man playing piano on a mountain top (46)
(Reuters) Scary French Army surrenders what little competency was left after accidentally firing live ammo into a crowd of spectators (115)
(WWL) Amusing Today's "idiot steals police cruiser for joyride and tries to evade police by driving onto water" brought to you by Metairie, Louisiana (65)
(Denver Post) Obvious Sports bar introduces a claw game, only instead of stuffed animals, you are going for live lobsters. It costs $2 per try, and if you snag a lobster, the kitchen will fix it right up for you. PETA: "Torture, pure and simple." (209)
(CNN) Stupid Using an inspirational, motivating book in English class? That's a firing (video report) (234)
(Herald Tribune) Interesting The Rubbish Fairy is dead. Tinkerbell wanted for questioning (40)
(Some Guy) Sappy Animals the size of a finger... some are cute, some are ugly, all are tiny (143)
(AP) Interesting A group of lost dolphins in the Shrewsbury River have New Jersey residents amazed... that anything could live in the Shrewsbury River (43)
(Sign On San Diego) Misc The 2008 baseball season has reached the halfway point. How has your team surprised you, good or bad, so far? Mets, Mariners and Blue Jay fans can sit this one out (303)
(Local6) Florida Man rescues drowning bear from Gulf of Mexico. Drowing Bear??? (w/ pic) (96)
(AZCentral) Interesting People in Arizona upset that power lines may spoil their views of the God-forsaken desert (179)
(bleedcubbieblue) Photoshop Photoshop these Siamese Cubs (44)
(Gawker) Silly "Jumped the shark" has jumped the shark at last. Say hello to the new hotness, "nuking the fridge." (210)
(Gawker) Sad The real Ron Burgundy has passed away at age 70. Toast his memory with a drink of scotchy scotchy scotch (63)
(Some Guy) Ironic Truck full of fire extinguishers catches fire (100)
(AFP) Obvious More and more men are discovering what Scotsmen have known for years: even male fashion models look ridiculous in a kilt (138)
(Some Guy) Amusing Technically, this tuxedo isn't made of bacon, it just looks like bacon. And smells like bacon (35)
(BBC) Sad British soldier killed in vehicle accident in Afghanistan identified as Warrant Officer Dan Shirley. You can't be serious (197)
(Fox News) Amusing She's no lady, he's my wife (165)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Nanny State finds miracle cure for saltoholism: fewer holes in salt shakers. Still no cure for British food (108)
(Some Guy) PSA If you must give a fake name to the cops, be sure it's not the name of a burglar with arrest warrants out for him. I know we've covered this before, but please (28)
(CNN) Sad Model plunges to death from apartment building from slight draft (243)
(CBS Philadelphia) Amusing Not news: Old man tells neighbor to get off lawn. Fark: Attacks him with weed wacker when he doesn't. PANCAKES (38)
(Some Flighty Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this tail feather (46)
(BBC) Sappy Cutest damn baby monkey you'll ever see cuddling her teddy bear. Seriously, this will leave you a pile of goo on your computer chair. The tag doesn't even begin to do it justice (123)
(Newsweek) Obvious "We have these cultural beliefs that children are the key to happiness and a healthy life, and they're not" (376)
(Boston Globe) Obvious At the peak of the driving season and during one of the hottest days of the year, New England oil companies announce heating oil cost increases for next winter. "It's going to be staggering." (144)
(BBC) Hero Local governments in Britain remind voters of important work they do by launching ad campaign publicizing the fact that they clean up drunk girls' barf and dog poop (pic) (40)
(WTAM) Asinine FEMA has taken to hitting people in disaster areas (60)
(ABC News) Obvious Out-of-state crews blamed for putting up signs in South Carolina advising tourists looking for a fun time to go to another state (68)
(HelenaIR.com) Interesting Taxidermists prepare third largest Grizzly in the Northern Continental Divide ecosystem that was killed by pickup in Montana. 'We should keep him in Lincoln so he could be dead where he used to live" (42)

Sat June 28, 2008
(Daily Herald) Dumbass Once again, if your desktop background pic is kiddie porn, and you send your laptop in to get a new hard drive, expect trouble (163)
(Boston Globe) Stupid Teens are ditching "Mom and Dad" and giving their parents nicknames like G-Dog and Big Anne (174)
(London Times) Hero The revolt against the "precious little snowflake" culture has begun (526)
(Canada.com) Amusing Man arrested for riding bike. "The only thing he was wearing then was a yellow (baseball) cap," Lachance said (30)
(City News) Strange Hahaahaha *POW*. Waaahahahaha *PUNCH*. Teeeeeheheee *STOMP*. Bwaaaahahaha *GOUGE* (63)
(CBS New York) Dumbass Undercover NYPD officers try to frame four on drug charges, but forget about all the surveillance cameras. Oops (153)
(Some Guy) Obvious 'Fataday' threatens to replace 'Caturday' as people stuff their faces with cholesterol bombs every weekend. You would have submitted this with a better headline, but typing makes you sweat (82)
(CTV) Hero Finally. A cure for cancer. All cancers.....That's it. Move along (309)
(CBS Pittsburgh) Silly Pushing the limits of broadcast journalism, Pittsburgh reporter checks out the annual Furry Convention (complete with video) (144)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this tunnel tourist (74)
(Some Depressed Season Ticket Holder) Sad Georgia mascot Uga VI passes away In Savannah. There is no Dog (187)
(Fox News) Scary Ride attendants at Six Flags over Georgia outraged after group of boys jumps fence and enters "off limits" area. Calm down guys, it's nothing to lose your head over. Oh, wait (643)
(News.com.au) Sappy Ugly-ass sun bear cub unveiled in Perth (23)
(Some non-virulent source) Followup That former Army scientist who was named as a person of interest in the 2001 anthrax attacks will receive $5.8 million to settle his lawsuit against the Justice Department. That should restore faith in the system (96)
(Canada.com) Amusing Canadian burlesque entertainers -- inclduing BonBon Vivant, Leggsy Von Hellstroke and Kitten Kaboodle -- dismayed to find that Las Vegas does not allow underboobs. Underboobs (138)
(Kansas City) Asinine Restaurant might close because of phar too literal interpretation of obscure Missouri law (196)
(Globe and Mail) Stupid "Excuse me," he said, "you can't say those words. Those words are illegal." (193)
(AP) Scary In an ongoing campaign for its own tag, Texas court rules a church's right to force an exorcism on a young girl outweighs her right to not be held down and have the devil beaten out of her (290)
(Daily Mail) Misc When you are a commoner you go to a McDonalds drive-thru. When you are the Queen of England you buy a McDonalds drive-thru. Would you like chips with that? (38)
(TwinCities.com) Cool Why spend 14 months of work with jackhammers when you can use 200lbs of explosives and be done in 20 seconds? Yes, there's video (58)
(New Scientist) Interesting Tropical ocean sucks up vast amounts of ozone. Climate models hardest hit (107)
(AP) Sad Singing bye bye to the Dutch getting high, drove my Spyker to the diker but the dealer was dry. Those good old boys drinking latte and chai, saying this will be the day my houka died. This will be the day my houka died (129)
(Daily Kos) Interesting Mercedes-Benz to quit producing gas powered cars in seven years. Jimmy Carter asks "What took you so long?" (110)
(Some Guy) Obvious The top 10 intellectuals in the world are all Muslims (361)
(Some Guy) Strange Having solved all jaywalking and dumpster diving incidents Milwaukee area police decide to crackdown on actual crime. Fark - by having interns tell your neighbors all about it (19)
(Reuters) Interesting California, the Nanny State of the U.S., may actually be doing something right with new "headset only" cell phone law starting Tuesday (161)
(Some Nerd) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Bill Gates' last day of work at Microsoft is June 27th. What will he be doing in retirement? (63)
(AP) Followup After further review, it now appears that maybe the Great Salmonella Tomato Scare of 2008 was a bit overwrought... and might have nothing to do with tomatoes after all (62)
(Telegraph) Stupid Hundreds of thousands of parents in the UK will be banned from ferrying children to sports matches next year unless they have had criminal records checks (66)
(Excite) Weird Man named Variable denied request to change to "F--- Censorship" four years after he changed it from "Snaphappy Fishsuit Mokiligon." No, really (72)
(Sun Journal (Maine)) Spiffy Artist adds texture to her work. DIT (65)
(Some Guy) PSA If you take your children to Jellystone National Park for summer vacation, don't let them pose for pictures within two feet of a wild animal. They might get a Boo Boo (70)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Police officer has been told he cannot ride a bicycle on police patrols until he has passed a training course. Nanny State strikes again (56)
(IGN) Cool Diablo III confirmed at European gaming show. Another Blizzard license to print money unveiled (241)
(Some Slam) Interesting Is the Denny's menu secretly a list of dirty sex acts? Depends on how you perform the Meat Lover's Scramble (84)
(BBC) Sappy Lion cub rejected by its mother being hand-reared by zoo director and his housecat Arnie, and on Caturday too (pics) (461)
(The Daily Press) Stupid Man makes his stand against high oil prices by getting a license plate that reads "KMA OPEC" (57)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Ancient Japanese tradition of naked sushi comes to Clearwater. "There's a sense of class to it" (w/ pic) (83)
(Live Science) Unlikely About 90 percent of people can carry the tune. The other ten percent go on to have huge record deals (39)
(First Coast News) Florida Not news: Old bats invade social security center. Fark: Not old women collecting their checks, actual bats (11)
(London Times) Asinine Old and busted: anonymous witnesses. New hotness: anonymous defendants. This guy has been in custody seven years, and they won't reveal his name. Thank goodness that kind of thing can never happen here (74)
(Denver Channel) Followup Thanks for paying your debt to society and congratulations on your new-found freedom. Oh, by the way, you owe us $44.5 million... kthxbye (83)
(Some Guy) Asinine To celebrate his birthday, man streaks down the street, though a minimart, and straight into the arms of the sex offender registry (59)
(Daily Mail) Sad The Queen's top officials are warning her to clamp down on spending because she only has about $635 million left to her name (75)
(Telegraph) Amusing Portrait of Bonnie Prince Charlie hanging in Britain's National Gallery for 14 years may actually be his brother. McAwkward (23)
(Google) Photoshop Iron Photoshop ingredient: Cowbell (45)
(Defamer) Amusing Fearing fattism, flustered fatties fighting fictional films fiendish futuristic fabrication featuring fatties feeding furiously, flying floating furniture for falsely framing future fifth-witted fatties' fattiness. Wall-E (218)
(Some Guy) Strange Amish feel the sting of high gas prices. Wait. What? (107)

Fri June 27, 2008
(Reuters) Obvious Canadians urged to wear sealskins on July 1 to celebrate the fact that they're not Americans or some damn thing (156)
(Telegraph) Obvious It turns out 9-11 was caused by a ten-year-old OCD boy who did not step on a particular white mark on the road that day (209)
(London Times) Spiffy Museum of London puts the locations of 37,000 skeletons buried in the city online. Bonus: includes purple, green and black bones... and one walrus (38)
(AOL) Amusing Quiz: How many candy bars can you identify by their cross-sections? (298)
(YouTube) Dumbass Ivy League grad with a high-rise condo and an 8.9 rating on HotOrNot John Fitzgerald, you have met your match; Dimitri the Stud (242)
(London Times) Interesting An answer to the question we've all been asking: Do boob jobs really end marriages? And what if your wife is the one who gets one? Does that change anything? (156)
(MSNBC) Misc Chinese woman adopts 100 dogs from earthquake aftermath. Next week: Chinese woman opens new restaurant (85)
(MSNBC) Dumbass It's tough being a convenience store clerk. The long hours, the annoying customers, being robbed at banana point (69)
(Sky News) Scary British pubs closing at the rate of 30 a week. EVERYBODY PANIC (70)
(CNN) Stupid Nifty calculator on CNN helps you figure out how many hours you have to work to fill your gas tank, fails to take any income taxes into account. It's not a CPA, it's CNN (71)
(Google) Amusing Dominatrix want sex indoors as its too easy to get busted outdoors (52)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Two thumbs up on this week's mugshots from TSG (202)
(The Chattanoogan) Obvious Judge Moon tells woman who was pulled from her car and beaten in the head to "purchase a weapon, obtain a gun permit and learn to protect yourself." M-O-O-N, that spells obvious (193)
(SeattlePI) Scary Playstation thieves are up to four stars in GTA5: Real Life (26)
(ABC News) Obvious Dirt biker slices off four fingers in tug-of-war game with other motorcyclists. UYUO SBUNMUTTERD TYJHIS WEITYH SA BERTRETR HJEADSLKINEW (47)
(Some Guy) Scary Good idea: Sleeping in your car because you're too drunk to drive. Bad idea: Waking up in the middle of the night and walking into on what you thought was your girlfriend's house (68)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Mauschwitz claims another victim (50)
(The Virginian Pilot) Photoshop Photoshop this guy and his weener (69)
(Denver Channel) Dumbass New postage stamp for state of Colorado proudly displays mountain . . . from Wyoming. Awkward (61)
(IndyStar) Amusing Just because you're a big bald dude doesn't mean you can impersonate "Stone Cold" Steve Austin and go around charging $10 to sign autographs... well, unless you go to WalMart (42)
(YouTube) Amusing "The website is down"(some NSFW language) (196)
(Fox News) PSA If you end up fleeing naked while covered in manure while trying to build a bomb, you're doing it wrong (18)
(The Newspaper) Interesting BMW M3 beats Toyota Prius in Top Gear fuel economy test, proving "... it isn't what you drive that matters, it's how you drive it" (362)
(AZCentral) Interesting Old and busted: Speed limit signs and traffic cops. New Hotness: Painted-on road debris (80)
(Hampton Roads News) Stupid Bride auctions off a bridesmaid spot, ends up getting wedding "sponsored" by Dr Pepper (117)
(The Chattanoogan) Amusing If you stole several bins of panties from Victoria's Secret, the Chattanooga Police would like a word with you . . . along with several million Farkers wanting to know if you're "hittable" of not (98)
(CNN) Interesting Despite 90+ degree heat, thousands turn out for joint Obama-Clinton Campaign rally in Unity, NH. Through a spokesman, God apologized for the unseasonable heat, saying it was necessary to keep hell from freezing over (109)
(AP) Dumbass Setting your BMW on fire is a good way to get the local police to notice you (33)
(Nerve) Stupid How paying two months' salary for a isometric-hexoctahedral crystal lattice allotrope of carbon came to mean "I love you." (475)
(AP) Stupid Facebook declare war on gammer and speeling errors. Nazis (116)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Hot teacher sues for being canned after appearing in bikini on Howard Stern Show. With bikini shot goodness (388)
(Des Moines Register) Interesting After a six years, a family's Baby Jesus mysteriously returns. Which is great news for the family's 10-year-old who was forced to be His replacement. "It was hard to convince him to lie out there in the freezing cold" (55)
(AP) Dumbass Bitter ex-Hillary supporter is shocked to find out that when she publicly stated she's going to vote for McCain, it put her status as Democratic national convention delegate in jeopardy (503)
(BBC) Followup Man successfully sues employer for not showing him how to use a ladder, common sense (71)
(Some Damn Varmint) Obvious Levee fails due to a muskrat hole. "With all the guns in this county, couldn't we kill a muskrat?" (104)
(ABC News) Obvious Showing their hallmark restraint, ABC News predicts a "red-hot summer of air rage" as travelers are expected to light torches and take pitchforks in hand and storm the airports demanding satisfaction. Or something like that (56)
(My Fox DC) Dumbass DC Metro Supervisor arrested for arranging sexual encounters from inside the Metro station. Smart Trip pass not accepted for payment, but we hear they run a tight schedule (52)
(Denver Channel) Amusing Article useless to most. Picture useful to all (67)
(Nebraska.tv) Weird Small town in Nebraska experiences a "heat burst", a phenomenon where on a clear blue day 90 degree winds suddenly descend from the sky and start throwing trees around (97)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Sad Shaggy, having fallen on hard times since leaving Hollywood, is arrested for robbing 60-year old woman (79)
(Metro) Obvious Teen breaks record for eating rice with chopsticks. Slow news day (47)
(AP) Interesting One third of Americans want more math taught in schools. That's like, 50% (150)
(Philly) Dumbass When you post a YouTube video of yourself holding a gun and telling people how to kill cops, you're going to get a battering ram through your door and a night in the pokey. Especially if you have your 12-year-old son operate the camera (289)
(Local6) Cool 35-foot dive into 12 inches of water breaks world record (with pic goodness, video too) (94)
(The Sun) Amusing Drunk man. Stuck in a hole. w/pic and awesome video. The Sun is There (78)
(MSNBC) Sad It's fun to slay at the Y-M-C-A (81)
(CBS Baltimore) Amusing Apparently, this needs to be repeated: If you're going to carjack someone, make sure you know how to drive their car (21)
(Slate) Followup Semi-colon fans' exclamations point to its worth, pound detractors tilde give in. Asterisk of sounding hopeful, comma heads may prevail by underscoring plusses and minuses, bracketing debate with dash of logic. Period, quotation marks (96)
(Some Girl) Dumbass When bringing home your new baby do you, C) set a coconut on fire, filling your apartment with smoke and sending the newborn back to the hospital? (47)
(io9) Amusing Deciding that chess wasn't dorky enough, new improved martian chess has been developed to fix the problem (76)
(nbc10.com) Amusing When it comes to pissing off the Philadelphia City Council, Colt 45 works every time (35)
(Google) Photoshop Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Cigarettes (73)
(Some Genius) Dumbass Once more, for those of you who didn't hear yet: If you have a warrant out for your arrest, selling illegal fireworks is probably not a good idea. Oh, and if you do it anyway, try to leave your dope at home (28)
(Oregon Live) Strange When it rains, it pours. Pacific NW has so much wind and hydro electricity that utilities are actually paying customers to use up power. Can't we get anything right anymore? (161)
(Stuff) Asinine For the love of God, watch WiiFit girl, watch Denny "Blazen" Hazen, or even the Rick Roll. Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" is about to become YouTube's most watched video of all time (222)
(The Times of India) Asinine Muslims consider dogs unclean, so British transport police may not be able to use sniffer dogs near them. In related news, Muslim drug mule help-wanted ads increase (310)
(Stuff) Amusing Helicopter mom says booze and porn don't belong in a steam engine science fair project. Subby says anything that combines beer, porn, and steam is the best science fair project EVAR (65)
(USA Today) Misc Thousands celebrate Summer solstice at Stonehenge, but are disappointed to find out it's actually just 18 inches tall (86)
(Some Guy) Scary Ho hum. Another fund-raiser held at Elton John's estate. Look, there's Bill and Chelsea Clinton - and wow, Will Smith has a pretty wife. Look at th...JESUS CHRIST WHAT HAPPENED TO THEIR FACES? (231)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Amusing Prostitute ID's her pimp for a pizza in court. "I felt that a pizza for a pimp was a good (trade)," the judge said. Upgrayedd is going to be pissed (95)
(Some Girl) Amusing Co-workers discover that languages are not an impediment to a good argument. When one uses his fist to make a point against his co-worker's jaw, the co-worker thoughtfully retorts with hot soup (15)
(Canada.com) Obvious Voting in Zimbabwe starts off slow. Exit polling suggest "Robert Mugabe" is slightly ahead of "I want to die by voting for someone else" (246)
(Telegraph) Amusing What makes a good childrens' book? Great storyline, captivating illustrations, catchy title--and of course, rat urine (16)
(Daily Mail) Strange Of all the things that can go wrong at the Beijing Olympics, you'd think seaweed would be a pretty remote threat. And you'd be wrong (84)
(New York Daily News) Sappy NYC cabbie makes way for ducklings on Park Ave. It's not news, it's... really, wait, a considerate NYC cabbie? (50)
(Flint Journal) Asinine Having solved all other problems, police chief of America's third most dangerous city declares war on sagging pants (161)
(Coventry Telegraph) Amusing Charles and Camilla to attend agricultural show , where "Camilla will visit the flower hall, the show gardens, the food hall and the equine area" ... presumably for grazing purposes (37)
(Some Strange Website) Weird By far the weirdest website you will see today (275)
(Telegraph) Interesting Religious leaders can now get a 'pray and display' permit that lets them park anywhere without getting a ticket if they're visiting a parishioner (123)
(The Local (Sweden)) Asinine Eight-year-old boy has his birthday party invitations confiscated because he didn't bring enough for everybody (370)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Asinine Store censors baby cake picture because it showed five-month-old's bottom (113)
(London Times) Obvious News flash: Children who enjoy a proper upbringing from their parents do better at school. In related news, Sir Ric Romero now writes for the London Times (38)
(NewsMax) Interesting The ACLU is threatening to file suit against the U.S. Naval Academy over the school's daily lunchtime prayer. Hate to break it to ya, but as long as there is Navy food, there will be mealtime prayers (351)
(Telegraph) Interesting Autopsy notes from Britain's top pathologist for sale; includes the woman who died from a shampooing and the man who mistook acid for whisky (52)
(AP) Asinine "I was told there would be no math." "But dude, you're a math teacher." (146)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Precious Snowflakes under 8 years old banned from playing pee wee soccer in the Nanny State because it's too stressful (112)
(Albany Times Union) Amusing What a dick (111)
(Daily Herald) Cool :. :: . :: .: .. : :. : :: .. :. .: (109)
(Seattle Times) Dumbass Okay dude, if this thing is really loaded then you owe me fifty bucks. Ready? (65)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this old-time political cartoon (49)
(The Sun) Followup More streetlights spotted over Britain. At least the drunken witnesses are bringing cameras these days (pics) (53)
(Some Navy Guy) Amusing Fark Photoshop contest image finds its way into official US Navy online training. Behold the power of Fark (179)
(Some Guy) Obvious Canoeist arrested, jailed and has DNA sample taken for crime of paddling down a river. Hmmm, no beating from the cops that might have bruised the hippy's organic granola bars, but apart from that, it seems tough but fair (110)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Silly Minnesota school to implement no-hat policy for security issues. Students can still dance. If they want to (167)

Thu June 26, 2008
(Reuters) Strange A gospel choir and a priest singing Elvis tunes will officiate at a mass drive-in wedding ceremony (18)
(SeattlePI) Scary There once was a man from Kent. He was shot (109)
(Rocky Mountain News) Dumbass If your girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with you, do you A) break up with her B) take a cold shower C) threaten to zap her with a taser? (201)
(Some Lonely Guy) Scary Chattanooga website aims to deter prostitution by publishing photos of known hookers, pimps and johns. With Zombie Hooker photo goodness. She'll take your money and your braaaaaaaains (209)
(CBS Salt Lake City) Interesting Utah government proposes 4-day work week to save energy. Great... just what Utah residents need. ANOTHER day off with absolutely nothing to do (93)
(The New York Times) Strange If you've ever looked at the Brooklyn Bridge and thought, "That could really use a waterfall," the local art community has good news for you (76)
(AP) Sappy Inmate escapes, leaves a rose made of toilet paper to guard because he feels guilty about breaking out (32)
(Brooklyn Paper) Sad We've lost another American icon: Ayveq the masturbating walrus has died (148)
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth) Unlikely Latest crazy religious sighting: Dallas residents see Jesus in a slab of granite (w/ "I Want To Believe" pic) (152)
(Some Retro Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these happy motorists on their way to a better tomorrow (83)
(ABC Action News) Florida Home for sale includes new wife. For $500K, the carpet better match the drapes (178)
(NYPost) Obvious A gin and elderflower-liqueur cocktail was judged to be the best summertime drink to enjoy at a sidewalk cafe (112)
(AP) Stupid OJ says that any other person wouldn't be going to court in his situation. That's because any other person would already be in jail (82)
(MSNBC) Obvious Kansas City and Texas to battle for BBQ supremacy. NC mutters "amateurs", goes back to basting sweet sweet pig (476)
(BBC) Hero Time was, the world loved America. Sixty years ago, to be exact (283)
(WNWO) Obvious 2008 Headline: High gas prices drive up motorcycle sales. 2009 Headline: Motorcycle related fatalities at all-time high (342)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious Yellow journalism has been replaced by "yellow science." Global warming sells papers and makes the grant money flow (333)
(Fox News) Amusing Indian pilots overshoot airport by 359 miles after falling asleep. Indian pilot trifecta now in play (63)
(The Register) Stupid Nanny State unveils "kids and video games" action plan. "Responsible parenting", "sending the chubby tykes outside to play" suspiciously absent (53)
(Canoe) Obvious Seeing as Canada Day falls on a Tuesday, here's your "No work will be done on Monday because most people have taken it as a vacation day" news report (133)
(Entertainment Weekly) Stupid The #1 book of the last quarter-century: "The Road". #2? "Harry Potter... part 4". Subby gave up when he saw "Cold Mountain" at #9 (316)
(Editor and Publisher) Interesting The new edition of the AP Stylebook is out, and it includes "iPod" and "WMD," but not "DIAF," "UFIA," or "I work for ____. So I am really getting a kick out of these replies" (65)
(Some Guy) Stupid Why was Betty Boop considered attractive? That head looks like she's related to John Merrick and she talked like Fran Drescher (1552)
(The Consumerist) Dumbass I hate my job and need a reason to get fired, think this will work? Signed Paula (221)
(Daily Mail) Obvious European Union forces wholesaler to destroy thousands of kiwi fruit because they are one millimetre too small. Brit Farkers: "This is bureaucracy gone mad." Yanks: "A millimeter? Goldarnit, that's HUGE" (393)
(Telegraph) Unlikely Volcanos to be used for the production of electricity. This will end well (98)
(Venice Florida!) Florida City councilman tries to hide his tracks by deleting emails, accuses web site of hacking when some of them are published; web writer responds to subpoena demanding source with two words: "Blow me" (86)
(9 News) Amusing Man on bike has head on collison with bear. That will leave a Boo Boo (88)
(Some Fest) Unlikely This didn't work last year but what the hell. Impromptu Fark Party at Summerfest this afternoon? (75)
(KSAT.com) Amusing Fire breaks out at Burning Tree apartments. Canaanites, Hittites, Amorites, Perizzites, Hivites and Jebusites unavailable for comment (33)
(Reuters) Obvious Brazillian prision allows inmates to train carrier pigeons. I can think of an arbitrarily large number of things that could go wrong here (69)
(WTAM) Asinine Why you won't hear: "Now batting, #12, Precious Snowflake" (365)
(Some Guy) Amusing News: Happy meal now coming with free lawsuit from Devo. In other news Devo is still around (133)
(Newsday) Obvious Six teens commit a string of robberies inspired by - wait for it - "Grand Theft Auto". And so it begins. (with bonus doofy mugshot goodness) (156)
(National Post) Stupid Comedians beware, the thought police of that charming country just north of the U.S.A. are coming after you (255)
(CBC) Obvious From the Department of the Glaringly Obvious, the more money you make and the better educated you are, the more likely you are to become a self-absorbed, uppity douchebag (136)
(Some Guy) Interesting Santa Fe introduces tax on wealthy homeowners in order to fund housing for firefighters, nurses (217)
(Local6) Followup Teenager who lost arm to alligator blames himself, says he knew canal was infested with alligators. Just kidding, he's blaming Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation for failing to kill all the alligators (193)
(Stuff) Amusing Hugh Hefner has back problems from too much rustling around with hot girls in bed. We're gonna need a tinier violin for this one (113)
(Free Press) Amusing Kid Rock gets in and out of 18 holes without giving any of them hepatitis (58)
(CBS Chicago) Cool Just because you need a Thursday coolness injection: The Coolest Fighter Jets... EVER (360)
(Buffalo News) Dumbass School board: It is too costly to discipline a principal for illegally suspending a student for seven weeks. So we won't (53)
(Fox News) Interesting All you Nurth Kreans are off the tururist list since we don't think you have any nooklar weapons (119)
(Buffalo News) Dumbass If you are in the Witness Protection Program, it might not be a good idea to air your grievances about the program by giving an interview to the paper and allowing them to publish your picture (47)
(The Smoking Gun) Followup Mug shots of the hookers busted on that Miami Beach bus brothel (265)
(onmilwaukee.com) Cool Schlitz Beer returning to Milwaukee. Can we get Schmidt back too? (143)
(The Sun) Weird I like my cafe like I like my coffee... COVERED IN BEES (96)
(CNN) Dumbass ICANN considers allowing domain names using Chinese, Arabic or Cyrillic letters. Not mentioned: it can cause мטсh өaѕїеr ďомаіп fгацd (94)
(Canada.com) Stupid City considers banning drive-thrus to be more "pedestrian friendly" (105)
(CNN) Scary Supreme Court rules that if your girlfriend is scheduled to testify against you in a domestic violence case, it is permissible under some circumstances to "Kill the biatch." (123)
(11 Alive) Asinine Graduation Tip: If you plan to moon your graduating class, have an escape plan in mind (43)
(Some Guy) Florida Today's teacher accused of having threesomes with her male students brought to you by Flor ... AAAHHHH, MY EYES (123)
(Fox News) Obvious Surprisingly, a number of states strongly object to people raping 11-year-olds in spite of the Supreme Court's ruling (251)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Spiffy The horror, the horror: One-car family gets by just fine (186)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this flying infant (61)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Proposed license plate: "Hispanics discovered Florida" (111)
(Some Guy) Asinine Westboro "Baptist" nutjobs are going to protest George Carlin's funeral. Buddy Christ unavailable for comment (424)
(BBC) Stupid London Underground cleaners set to strike for higher pay. In related news, people apparently clean the London Underground - not that you'd notice (44)
(NBC10) Obvious Man hangs 2 x 20 foot sign from his house in Philadelphia to tell everyone he hates Bank of America (145)
(SCOTUSBlog Live) NewsFlash Supreme Court rules 5-4: individuals have a right to own handguns, strikes down DC gun ban. Suck it gun-grabbers (1840)
(Local6) Florida Man holding cigarette out window while watching TV gets hit by lightning, apparently went on a date on Wednesday night. With "got hit by lightning" pic-goodness (102)
(Poughkeepsie Journal) Obvious Referring to the town's abandoned power plant as the "Gates of Hell" isn't the best way to attract developers (19)
(Reuters) Scary Pilots in India often fail alcohol tests; pass Exxon qualifications tests (14)
(UPI) Amusing 1) Burglar is being chased by homeowner 2) Burglar screams "Help this crazy guy is trying to kill me" 3) NYC cops grab and detain the homeowner. ------D'OH (52)
(Daily Mail) Silly Drinkers at an Outback watering hole found a crocodile at the door and brought it inside for their session. Luckily it wasn't a sheep (21)
(MSNBC) Obvious Got rowdy elephants? Bring in the smelly camels (18)
(AP) Sad NBC settles lawsuit after alleged "predator" commits suicide. How about you take a seat over there... and write a check for $105 million dollars (817)
(USA Today) Interesting More and more districts are moving toward printing speeding tickets electronically, which means officers will need to invent a new reason to keep you waiting on the side of the road while they figure out which end of the pen works on paper (97)
(Some Michigan Redneck) Amusing Man accused of assault with a dinner fork and a 10-pound frozen chicken (36)
(London Times) Cool New bid to go faster than any steam powered car has ever gone before. Previous record holders Lazy Luke and Blubber Bear in the Arkansas Chuggabug. (w/ video, pics) (50)
(590 KLBJ) Dumbass Daughter of police chief, caught with a whole bunch o' weed, decides the best avenue is to assault the arresting officer (58)
(New York Daily News) Interesting Thousands of Con Edison workers says management is in the dark and are threatenig to walk off the job ea (38)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup UFOs spotted by British soldiers turn out to be Chinese streetlights (60)
(The Register) Dumbass Everyone who picked Leeds, UK, as dumbass criminal capital of the world step up to the stage and collect your prize (21)
(Reno Gazette-Journal) Amusing Horses in agony as cowboys forced to rideshare due to high gas prices (19)
(SeattlePI) Obvious Washington Democratic Party realizes ad attacking Italian-American gubernatorial candidate probably shouldn't have "The Sopranos" theme song in the background (67)
(News.com.au) Ironic The man who oversees the annual operation of shooting 400 kangaroos is concerned that herding them into a corral panics them, causing distress and injury (51)
(Bloomberg) Silly The US government has some of the most powerful supercomputers on Earth, and they're working hard to help Mars, Inc. decode the cocoa genome (45)
(AFP) Obvious Australia enthusiastically welcomes killer doctor, because apparently they enjoy eating roasted human corpses on the barbie or something (29)
(SFGate) Obvious San Francisco: huge blast rockets two manhole covers off. Cable car service halted temporarily. Saw smoke coming from two manholes. Shocked. Amazed. Pumped C02 into damaged holes. Amazing no one was hurt. San Francisco (76)
(CNN) Obvious CNN's hard-hitting reporting concludes that adults give alcohol to minors. It's not news, it's CNN (46)
(Toledo Blade) Amusing Computer error prices gas at $1.40 instead of $4.10; hilarity ensues (99)
(Some Tfette) Photoshop Photoshop this magic moment (41)
(SacBee) Strange Man hit by car after drinking and cavorting in storm drain. "Apparently they had done this as kids and wanted to relive their youthful experiences and try it again." (66)
(Daily Express) Interesting "Researchers say the 46th birthday is the gateway to a golden age when you have everything you want" (95)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Woman has last word in argument by jumping out of car. On the freeway. At speed (79)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious "If you receive a check in the mail for $1 million that you have no reason to think you're entitled to, you cannot just deposit it and when prosecuted for theft say you didn't know you weren't entitled to the money." (196)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 164: "Dinner is Served". Difficulty: Must be on a plate/in a dish. No comedy shots. Details and rules in the first post. LGT next week's theme (208)

Wed June 25, 2008
(Some Buckeye) Amusing Ric Romero is alive and well and is apparently living in northern Ohio (53)
(My Fox NY) Amusing Fox 5 Investigates: One traffic stop, 27 points. With hard-hitting journalistic video (125)
(Yahoo) Scary Freelance investigative reporter returning from Germany just happened to be randomly selected by ICE agents for an impound of his laptop and digital camera cards. First Amendment surrenders, weeps (231)
(WFAA) Amusing SWAT standoff at bakery with supposedly-armed woman ends with empty store. DOUGH (39)
(ESPN) Cool Fresno State becomes lowest seeded team in NCAA history to win national championship. That's any sport, not just baseball (145)
(Seacoastonline.com) Hero CSI Miami pay day - Guy beats public urination charge by calling for DNA evidence from pee puddle (88)
(myfoxstl.com) Amusing Old Spice names Phoenix as the country's sweatiest city. What else would you expect from the armpit of Arizona? (140)
(9 News) Weird Man arrested for living on the roof of a T-Mobile store. Since December. In Colorado (52)
(CNN) Followup Remember the dishwasher that had $59,000 stolen from him by the Feds? Well, after considering the $49,000 at the appelate level, the state has determined to give "some" of the $39,000 back (206)
(Some Tfette) Photoshop Photoshop this spineless woman (55)
(Defamer) Scary Mini-Me has a sex tape and...OH GOD MY EYES (351)
(Bloomberg) Ironic United Fire & Casualty Insurance Co. flooded out of headquarters, will incur losses because they are not fully covered by insurance (46)
(The Local (Sweden)) Obvious Yxmarder of Blodsrit axed from Hammargymnasiet in Vastervik (148)
(News.com.au) Weird Man uses fake credit card to procure Scooby-Doo costume with which to taunt police, instantly becoming Queensland's most wanted (38)
(Daily Mail) Followup Baby pronounced dead by British doctors after falling into river has condition upgraded to "alive" after receiving some First World medical attention (82)
(Times Free Press) Spiffy Tennessee Supreme Court rules that "slower traffic keep right" means exactly what it says, you redneck lane rangers (320)
(Canada.com) Obvious Britain strips Mugabe of honorary knighthood as a "mark of revulsion." Well, if that doesn't scare him into having fair elections, then what will? (166)
(The Hollywood Reporter) Sad "America's Got Talent" beat by "America's Got a Minor Concussion" -- watching game show contestants on ABC's "Wipeout" face plant drew the highest premiere rating of any new show this summer (102)
(Centre Daily Times) Ironic Naked college student in dorm room window arrested for mooning streakers below (78)
(The Smoking Gun) Obvious The PedEgg is a fraud. The Smoking Gun is there. (With video) (185)
(USA Today) Obvious Not news: Being a member of the TSA is a "dead-end job." Fark: The TSA chief said it (99)
(CBS News) Stupid Ever wonder what became of that penis slashing psycho hosebeast Lorenna Bobbit? Neither did I but CBS has trotted her out for a sweeps month interview anyways (97)
(AP) Asinine Register of the County Orange trys to source the out editing copy in its paper of news to India, please (82)
(The Lost Ogle) Amusing Some dorks get a life-sized cardboard cut-out of a local homophobic right wing sports radio host and take it to the Gay Pride Festival, with photo goodness (101)
(News.com.au) Interesting Tank found under French roadway. France promptly sends up white flags (40)
(Some Guy) Interesting Oprah finishes three weeks of vegan eating. Says they were "delicious" (139)
(The New York Times) Obvious Suddenly living in the distant suburbs -- where there is no mass transit, and you have to drive miles and miles just to get a gallon of milk -- doesn't seem as appealing as it used to (269)
(WWAY) Asinine North Carolina trying to lynch the First Amendment (138)
(Some Guy) Florida Melon-headed whale rescued from beach. Just because he beached himself is no reason to get personal (25)
(Fox News) Dumbass Remember that time you married that lady in 1978 after 28 days drinking? (81)
(Mercury News) Dumbass What kind of woman loans her two children to a reality show? Well, she got pregnant at 17 on purpose, had two kids and two divorces, then got married again and had two more kids. Let's hope she's paid with a free tubal ligation (63)
(ABC News) Followup Study finds most New York City residents suing for illnesses caused by 9/11 attacks are about as badly injured as the average Italian soccer player flopping around, clutching his knee (99)
(CNN) PSA No? my hitler boobies persian amateur? uh no? ll. you are wrong (346)
(AccessAtlanta) Spiffy Chicago-style pizzas headed to soldiers in Iraq. Soldiers from NYC expected to biatch that they aren't real pizzas because they're not a soggy, grease-dripping mess (355)
(Globe and Mail) Amusing Some words don't belong together in a news article. "Grandfather," "swingers" and "strip club" is a great example. Bonus word: "Gentrify," which sounds worse than it is (27)
(Michael Ian Black) Amusing Perfect for Fark's masters and mistresses of Photoshop: Help Michael Ian Black turn David Sedaris into a nefarious supervillain (70)
(CNN) Spiffy Airline tests in-flight web access: Won't filter content, eventually resulting in passengers seeing a grown man naked (94)
(Some Guy) Asinine Not to run another George Carlin story but seriously , having "'Bill & Ted' actor dies" as your headline is a great injustice (208)
(Danbury News Times) Dumbass Second tanning salon operator found taking pics on cellphone. This one did not involve his anus (27)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Upcoming presidential election will determine who voters hate more: Successful, attractive African-Americans or mossbacks who smell like Old Spice and pancakes (258)
(AP) Weird Like the day he was born, he left naked -- since it was jail, he was promptly returned (14)
(AZCentral) Amusing Woman caught speeding by automatic highway cameras 22 times in 45 days. (With mugshot of the offender.) Let the arguments begin on how hittable and/or how big her forehead is (215)
(Dallas News) Asinine Anti-drug crusader raises millions for his charity, People Against Drugs... then pays himself a half-million dollars, finances a NASCAR team, runs for Congress. The War on Drugs: Is there anything it can't do? (65)
(WBNS-10) Spiffy Mid-Ohio farkers: Get free food from Chipotle today because you're trapped in mid-Ohio (124)
(Reuters) Obvious Chinese struggling to cope wth the fact that the rest of the civilized world likes to use clean bathrooms with toilet seats (208)
(Guido wearing his karate gi) Dumbass Ninja sighting locks down school in NJ. Yeah, that's right, ninjas, in NJ (146)
(KHOU Houston) Amusing It's still real to KHOU 11 NEWS, DAMMIT (150)
(TampaBays10.com) Unlikely Same agency which claimed WMD in Iraq now claims global warming will increase illegal immigration to U.S. (56)
(Marketwatch) Followup When is doing nothing news? When it's the Federal Reserve Board (31)
(Click On Detroit) Dumbass Jesus Christ, it's a drunk lion. Get out of the car (51)
(News.com.au) Dumbass "Sir, have you been drinking?" "I've been drinking a bunch, occifer." "Your speech is slurred." "My tongue is too big for my mouth" (49)
(ABC News) Asinine "There was no reason for the airline to kick us off the plane," says mom of autistic boy who wanted to roll around on the floor and scream during take-off (578)
(Some KY Predator) Interesting Former "Predator" co-star and porn actor is a running man for the Kentucky Senate race (129)
(WIOD) Florida Police bust South Beach "Brothel on Wheels," or "BangBus" if you will. Hey, that would be a good premise for a website (168)
(JSOnline) Stupid State of wisconsin governor Uses Creative veto powers to maKe a bIt of Text in a new Law Into a Budget increaSe of $200 million (143)
(CBS News) Asinine For those who claim doing nothing wrong = nothing to fear from government surveillance, here's an analysis of Hoover's personal grudge against noted subversive Art Buchwald (128)
(Breitbart.com) PSA Supreme Court cuts judgement against Exxon for the Valdez disaster from $2.5 billion to $500 million. Reportedly cut because much of the wildlife filing the suit had died (138)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Unpopular movie-based video games (194)
(Click On Detroit) Dumbass It's time for the annual video telling you not to stick lit sparklers in your stomach, light explosives next to your head, or let mortars explode in your face (38)
(Boston Herald) Followup Don Imus defends recent "color" commentary as not being racist, says everyone attacking him is a nappy headed ho (340)
(Fox Business) PSA Why the fed sits tight today (101)
(Castrol) Plug Syntec Power Trax, it's all about mixing your own beat (Sponsored Link) (34)
(ABC News) Followup The Columbia professor formerly known as the professor with noose on her door is now formerly known as a professor in general (220)
(Some Guy) Ironic Museum exhibit of the Titanic closed due to flooding (139)
(Some Guy) Cool North Carolina offers free replacement for "WTF" license plates. WTF? (153)
(Some Dum Bass) Dumbass Boston is a bit safer today after three policeman subdue and arrest man for possession of an undersized striped bass (91)
(Some Girl) Amusing Police are looking for an overweight, unshaven man in his thirties with unremarkable dance moves (131)
(Some Guy) Strange Never tell the cop who pulled you over, " I will give you guys $200 to let me go right now. Just throw the weed away and you can keep the credit cards." Especially if you're dressed like Jack Sparrow (48)
(National Post) Dumbass Mayor of London unimpressed by police probe into how he obtained a cigar case belonging to former Iraqi deputy premier (39)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Former soldier hailed as hero after performing citizen's arrest on young hooligan throwing eggs and rocks at his house. Just kidding, they arrested him for kidnapping and assault (188)
(BBC) NewsFlash Crazed U.S. worker kills five, then self in rampage. In other news, there are still factories in the U.S. (365)
(AP) Ironic Kentucky attorney general who recently set up a special anti-cyber crimes unit discovers through iTunes that his own identity has been stolen (22)
(AP) Amusing Pastor Ted Haggard quits "restoration program." Evidently the gay wore off (126)
(Fox News) Interesting For rent: One-bedroom apartment in Dubai, seventh floor, attached parking. Wait, what? (110)
(News.com.au) Strange Today's "aggravated armed robbery with a shotgun and a crystal ball in a sock" story brought to you by Hobart, Tasmania. I see jail time in your future (10)
(The Sun) Obvious Another streetlight sighting over Britain. The Sun is there with shakycam video goodness (37)
(MaineToday.com) Stupid Man serving time for domestic assault gets nine more months because the woman he assaulted visited him in jail. The woman claims it was a mutual assault: "I picked him up three or four times and slammed him on the ground" (38)
(Some under-sexed husband) Obvious Study: After years of research scientists discover women want quality over quantity when it comes to sex, and men will take a quickie wherever they can get it (195)
(USA Today) NewsFlash Supreme Court rules that "the death penalty is not a proportional punishment for the rape of a child" (1290)
(CBS News) Interesting Not news: Gang steals shipment of electronics from the back of a truck. Fark: While it's doing 60 mph on the Autobahn (47)
(SFGate) Interesting Some guys buy flowers to make an impression on their first date. This guy takes a girl mountain climbing, gets lost in bad weather, takes two days to get back to civilization (50)
(AFP) Cool Chinese pig rescued 36 days after earthquake; survived on diet of charcoal. Mmmmm, lean smoked bacon (41)
(Kotaku) Amusing Rockstar's "hot coffee" class action lawsuit settled. For a million and change, it was the best advertising campaign ever (111)
(London Times) Amusing Britain plans to attract tourists by offering locations important to British comedy such as Slough and Torquay. Just be careful of which hotel you choose (113)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Old and busted: Road rage. New hotness: Womens' restroom line rage (102)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Locals vow to get revenge after coyotes kill neighborhood pets. "They're not going to come over here and start killing all the stuff that we like. Somebody's going to have to pay" (216)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "Enloe had forgotten that he loaded the gun since the two had last pretended to shoot each other, prosecutors said" (43)
(Some Guy) Interesting Sparklers + duct tape + bored teens + portable toilets + those endless summer nights = BOOM (72)
(Metro) Sad Beer truck crashes in Germany, wasting 200 crates of the precious liquid. With incredibly appropriate photo caption (81)
(Some Guy) Asinine In an effort to keep your grocery prices down, supermarkets will stop labeling the items or their shelves with prices. Don't worry, though, you can find out the prices of your items when they are scanned at the check-out register (174)
(AP) Silly Two girls, age 7 and 9, march through downtown Salt Lake City to protest high gas prices that forced their parents to cut cable TV in their home. Uh, yeah (121)
(Canada.com) Obvious Results of study your tax dollars paid for: Rich people have bigger ecological footprints. Future studies to include greenness of grass, blueness of sky (53)
(Reuters) Asinine Senate to create $300 billion fund to help up to 400,000 troubled homeowners refinance costly, exotic mortgages. Suck it, people who bought houses within your means (485)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this lubrication (44)
(UPI) Amusing Texas woman charged with hitting police horse. Now plans to go camping, eat baked beans, fart around the camp fire (94)
(CBS News) Obvious Instead of fighting two wars on two fronts in the Middle East, Israel helpfully suggests that the U.S. just consolidate them into one big one by bombing the shiat out of Iran (660)
(Guardian.com) Obvious Malaysian women told to shun high heels and lipstick to "preserve their dignity." About time someone figured this out (99)
(Some Guy) Strange Group proposes to fight "air rage" by allowing people to smoke pot in airport lounge. Could work. Of course, airlines would have to go back to supplying free munchies (72)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Alligator accused of armed robbery (68)
(CNN) Unlikely Obama asks supporters to help with debt. No, not his... Hillary's (206)

Tue June 24, 2008
(Gizmodo) Cool Behold: The lego vault, where they stash all the lego sets ever made. Still no word on the location of Cheney's lego torture playset (216)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you meet a stranger with two prostitutes and 20 mins later give them the keys to your new car so they can buy crack, don't expect them to come back with the crack or your new car (72)
(9 News) Amusing What a great day to be a kid (153)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this cute squid (63)
(We B Toys) Amusing Five toys from the 80s that would be causing non-stop lawsuits in the 00s with injuries to the world's current frail group of obese precious snowflakes (607)
(Some Guy) Dumbass There once was a lady named Wark, who shifted her car into park. She shot at a cop, the fuzz had the drop, so now she's a headline on Fark (105)
(Komo) Hero Seattle police are ticketing slow drivers in the fast lane (1001)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida What's Chewbacca up to these days? Turning down reporters who ask him to dance, that's what. With video (48)
(Some Guy) Obvious "Theobiologist" discredits the theory that dionosaurs are extinct, provides first-hand account of living dinosaurs in Africa (with photographic "evidence") (805)
(CNN) Interesting Iraqi military to take control of Anbar province. It's a trap (348)
(Chicago Tribune) Stupid Illinoisans wonder why God hates Illinois, as poll reports that their prayers go unanswered more than other states' (211)
(CNN) Obvious Catholic Church finds out that the fear of death is a powerful recruiting tool (469)
(Live Science) Followup Amazon tribe that was not a hoax, that was a hoax, is not a hoax. Carry on (200)
(Toledo Blade) Cool Not news: man repays loan. Fark: it was gasoline he borrowed from strangers 34 years ago (77)
(BBC) Followup Turns out that "fainting" soldier was actually a member of the Judean People's Front crack suicide squad (222)
(Some Guy) Silly Bill Clinton holds a woman's hand and the Canadian media flips out. Imagine if they found out about those other things (171)
(Slate) Spiffy Can your breasts power an iPod? "It turns out the physics of breast motion have been studied closely for the last two decades by a gamut of researchers," and for the last two millennia by boys in junior high (564)
(Las Vegas Now) Dumbass Homeowner set to lose home to foreclosure has a few parting gifts for the bank. (w/video goodness) (347)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Soldier faints at airport, fearing he was was shot, French and Israeli PMs whisked away by security. No word on how much price of oil just went up (95)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop these wheat farmers (65)
(BBC) Scary Bee Gees threaten to reunite, despite the fact that their aging fans are no longer able to hear the frequency range in which they sing (127)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Hero HBO to air *EVERY* George Carlin special, spanning 1977-2008, in two-day marathon this Weds/Thurs (337)
(Seattle Times) Dumbass Pro-life Republican congressional candidate swears that even though he lent her $300 and drove her to the abortion clinic, he had no idea his girlfriend was getting an abortion or was even pregnant. Oh yeah, and he dumped her right afterwards (983)
(Wired) Cool June 24 marks the 61st anniversary of the first US sighting of swamp gas, weather balloons, and the planet Venus (54)
(Telegraph) Obvious Hitler was one of those really unfunny bosses who tired everybody with bad jokes about their co-workers (171)
(LiveLeak) Followup Video leaked from earlier UFO incident where an UK police helicopter over Cardiff almost collided with the lamp (146)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Heinz has confirmed that it will be dropping its "two-men" kissing commercial for its extra creamy same-sex mayonaise (179)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Old and busted: Filling up your tank and driving off. New hotness: Filling up your tanker truck and (trying) to drive off (29)
(USA Today) Interesting When it comes to religious dogma, more and more Americans are opting for the ala carte rather than the prix fixe (317)
(News.com.au) Obvious OPEC president declares that oil prices will not be coming down with the most eloquent and heart wrenching commentary you are ever likely to read (233)
(CNN) PSA Pirates take four European tourists hostage, demand better draft picks and improved bullpen for the next baseball season (54)
(Some Guy) Amusing It's time to get rid of the mullet when it's used to identify you as a break-in suspect (33)
(The Local (Germany)) Strange Not news: Woman has a roommate. News: It's a llama. FARK: a 3-legged llama (49)
(SeattlePI) Interesting 27 rescued after schooner runs aground, though it took a while because rescuers argued it was just a sailboat (92)
(FDNM) Amusing North Pole man accused of driving a riding lawn mower over several yards while intoxicated, then trying to elude police. Santa, NOOOO! (31)
(USA Today) Stupid Q: What do you get when you cross a self-absorbed, petty asshat and skyrocketing gas prices? A: The Hypermiler (527)
(Makfax) Followup Killer journalist drowns self in bucket of water (70)
(BBC) Dumbass Teacher found guilty of cramming 13 people at once into his Volvo. Paris Hilton congratulates him on breaking her record before realizing she misunderstood the statement (134)
(Spiegel) Amusing German bride, angered by groom's drunken state on their wedding night, leaves him in a field along the autobahn. Kraftwerk unavailable for comment (48)
(News.com.au) Weird Heroin woven into rugs. It really ties the room together (60)
(News.com.au) Scary Window cleaner gets atomic wedgie in fall, doctors expect testicles to descend in spring (27)
(Guardian.com) Unlikely 600,000 government workers threaten to strike, hope someone will notice (45)
(Saved Farmer's Market) Dumbass 82-year-old woman drives through airport fence, does donuts next to active runway, tells deputies to blame it on the rain. Milli Vanilli outraged (31)
(AP) Scary NASA scientist: Mass extinction, ecosystem collapse only a couple of decades away (709)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Stupid Latest alarming trend to hit schoolyards: "Barbie Brat bullies" (121)
(Free-Lance Star) Stupid Man wakes up to find intruder armed with shotgun in his home. Man wrestles intruder, forces him outside where the intruder informs the victim ha-ha, this is a prank being filmed for MySpace (98)
(Some Force) Photoshop Photoshop a tension span (42)
(Jacksonville.com) Florida Memo to all you punk teenagers with your jeans sagging low: pull them up or this guy will shoot you (135)
(Kansas City) Strange After finding out his neighbor had been in a bar fight, man fires his gun several times in the air in a show of solidarity. Then things really get strange (55)
(MSNBC) Sad Hardee's founder outlives most Hardee's customers (74)
(News.com.au) Obvious Oil company's solution to the rising fuel price crisis: Um, just don't drive so much (291)
(AP) Dumbass Attention future criminals: Crawling into duct work and falling into the police chief's office is possibly not the best way to escape from prison (42)
(Fox News) Strange Only in the South can a man get arrested for beating up his mother because her pet dog killed his pet skunk (52)
(Jacksonville.com) Florida Friendly reminder: if you are drunk and have marital problems, do not use a sword, a Rambo knife, brass knuckles and a bat to try and solve them. You'll just end up on Fark.com (47)

Mon June 23, 2008
(Telegraph) Interesting Teacher finds a way to make sure nearly the entire baseball team scores a homerun (141)
(CBS Sacramento) Dumbass If your idiot coworker decides to use a blowtorch on the lid of a 55-gallon oil drum, don't gather around with your kids to watch (59)
(Mirror.co.uk) Strange Son turns his dead dad into a teapot. To be fair, his dad had always been a little short and stout (73)
(Daily Star) Stupid Local government plans to eliminate dog turds by painting them pink (72)
(Reuters) Silly And the fastest-growing stupid sport is ... appliance golf (52)
(Boston Globe) Misc While the country was busy laughing at it, FEMA quietly found traces of competence (251)
(Guardian.com) Obvious Run-down heritage sites embarrass Greeks; tourists shocked to find that the freakin' Parthenon doesn't even have a roof, for cryin' out loud (74)
(AL.com) Dumbass Before you steal a car, make sure to look at the shifter. If it's a Manual and you can't drive a stick, move on to the next car (81)
(BBC) Cool Earth not at risk from Large Hadron (except first thing in the morning) (197)
(CNN) Cool Citing her outstanding cookie and turkey pot pie making skills, Army nominates the first female four-star general in history (152)
(PhotoSig) Photoshop Photoshop this drop of water (103)
(Washington Post) Interesting How rich people spend their time. Swan diving into mountains of gold coins strangely absent (196)
(LA Times) Silly 92% of Americans believe in Santa, the Tooth Fairy, compassionate conservatives (382)
(Buffalo News) Unlikely If you print a historical sign with all kinds of typos, you can either pay to get it fixed or tell everyone it was done on purpose to capture the rich cultural heritage of the area (65)
(LA Times) Interesting Surfer Man Surfer Man Surfer Man hates Photographer Man. They have a Fight. Surfer Wins. Surfer Man (193)
(Canoe) Amusing Man robs house, smokes crack, returns to house to steal more, smokes more crack and falls asleep (37)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Gasoline is overpriced, according to the experts at the No Farking Shiat Sherlock institute. Obvious tag couldn't scrounge gas money, sent Dumbass on his bike instead (122)
(Utne) Misc After 60 years, Israel finally chooses a national bird. Surprisingly, it's not the F-15 (95)
(Telegraph) Weird So many Chicago residents are under attack by divebombing blackbirds that people are being advised to bark like dogs at them (131)
(Some Guy) Obvious Iran having nukes joins showering and pit-shaving as things considered "unacceptable" in France (207)
(CNN) Asinine Why aren't the oil companies drilling in places in the US were there is oil? Dirty hippies? Nope. Some rare animal? Nope. That the oil companies already have has permission to drill and leasing rights but choose not to? Ding ding ding (481)
(AP) Dumbass Leftist college-town kids attempt to form world's largest peace sign, but are unsure where the hammer goes in relationship to the sickle (347)
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass Mugshot of tanning salon voyeur who hid camera up his butt when cops arrived (218)
(Reuters) Cool Baby crocodiles start chatting to one another before their eggs are hatched. With cute baby croc pic goodness (62)
(CNN) Ironic CDC expert on West Nile virus gets infected with West Nile virus (121)
(STLToday) Obvious Lawyers think juries watch too much TV and suffer from the "CSI Effect," which means they only believe iron-clad scientific evidence and detectives who put on their sunglasses and spout corny one-liners during testimony (249)
(Yahoo) Obvious Coming soon: "The Case Against Barack Obama," a "comprehensive, factual look at Obama" from the publisher who brought you "Unfit for Commmand" about John Kerry, and the firm who publicized the Swift Boat Veterans (1084)
(Fox News) Dumbass Not news: Fox columnist writes column complaining about how journalistic standards have declined. Fark: He's complaining about TV Guide putting Denise Richards on the cover instead of Tim Russert (99)
(Reuters) Unlikely Turkish creationist says Jesus will return within the next 25 years. As a Muslim. So look busy (157)
(AP) Florida "A Tampa woman learned the hard way that a man she told police was her 'pimp' was probably not the best choice of a baby sitter." The head of the Obvious tag explodes (80)
(Keystone) Amusing Hot chick. Check. Beer. Check. Unsmooth guy who blows it? Guaranteed. (Sponsored Link) (158)
(Cracked) Amusing Five superpowers from the Bible that put Marvel and DC to shame (220)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this pillow (48)
(Canada.com) Interesting Nine months after it was bombed by Israel, the United Nations is getting around to investigating that Syrian nuke site (365)
(News.com.au) Followup Remember the pictures of that "lost" Amazon tribe last month? Yeah, they were a bit of a hoax (247)
(Boston Channel) Scary If you lost your pet alligator on Cape Cod this weekend, the Barnstable authorities would like to speak to you (25)
(Some Guy) Interesting Don't bring your light saber to Jedi Church (70)
(SeattlePI) Scary Nanny saves child from coyote's jaws, flies away singing (54)
(SeattlePI) Followup School principal who spawned the "pregnancy pact" story admits he has no evidence or sources, and no one else is stepping forward to claim it's true. Put the coat hangers away, folks. Just a false alarm (145)
(MDN) Scary Police arrest 19-year-old for threatening to make Disneyland the Stabbiest Place on Earth™ (34)
(Inside Higher Ed) Amusing Professor pens book on getting through grad school as a stripper in gay clubs, grading papers between sets (47)
(AlterNet) Spiffy Out of the basement and into the street: "Nerdy girls have attained sexy status" (20802)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Your awwww-inspiring story of the day: Ugly-ass puppy born without front legs, now using model airplane wheels to get around (93)
(Some Cable Guy) Obvious Unfortunate quote by father, upon hearing that his son died after stepping on live power cable: "It came as a massive shock" (65)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Actual headline: "Fluoride's glory may be cresting" (100)
(Telegraph) Ironic Surely it's only to be expected that if you put a building site next to a girl's college, there will be wolf-whistling (146)
(Telegraph) Dumbass It takes a special kind of stupid to be caught stealing a satnav from a police car three times (28)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Man named God arrested at church. Might have been welcomed if he hadn't been selling cocaine (45)
(Press Herald.com) Cool Come for the braaaains, stay for the kickball. "Picnics will be ruined, dog walks disrupted, and bike rides seriously altered" (44)
(London Times) Asinine Police officers disciplined for bragging about how many pedestrians they ran down in their squad car on Facebook group devoted to the subject (86)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Amusing Not news: Fancy new restaurant opens in St. Paul, Minnesota. News: People wait for hours in line, drive from as far away as Fargo. Fark: It's a Sonic (272)
(Telegraph) Asinine Nanny State students prohibited from making Father's Day cards so they don't embarrass classmates who live with single mothers and lesbians (158)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Police bust man on four-lane highway with 0.3 BAC. Fark: Man was asleep. Bonus: In his motorised wheelchair (22)
(Canoe) Dumbass If your son is dubbed the "Red Wig Bandit," it may be a poor idea to smuggle drugs in a wig of your own when you visit him in prison (18)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this guy, his parrot and a giant ball of twine (49)
(CBS New York) Sick Police pick up pint-sized pimp prostituting pimply paramour (40)
(LA Times) Dumbass Tagger falls from overpass. Swears he'll give up tagging when they pry can of spray paint from his cold, dead fingers. Getting awfully close (79)
(Some Depressed Motorist) NewsFlash A comedy legend has died. We'll miss you, George Carlin (1751)
(CNN) Followup Lost autistic man found; says only his will to watch "The People's Court" again kept him alive (72)

Fark Forum