If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
These links may be stale and generate errors.
Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
Sun January 13, 2008
| (Some Guy) |  |
33-year old woman disguised herself as a 13-year old boy and attended school. Then things get weird | (4) |
 |
 |
How to drink yourself into a round-trip flight from New York | (7) |
 |
 |
Man may lose his arm after it was hit by a ute as he waved at two girls from a car window | (61) |
 |
 |
Porn filmmakers to combat internet piracy. From article: "After watching two or three minutes of hard-core sex, you're not going to go and buy the full movie" | (79) |
|
 |
Stop swimming - Hammerhead time | (33) |
 |
|
Bank robber disguises himself with drywall compound. Must've been plastered to try this | (42) |
| (Albany Times Union) | |
Names in national steroids investigation include 50 Cent*, Mary J. Blige*, Timbaland* and Wyclef Jean*. Wait, what? | (77) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Hazmat evacuates family from apartment as children suffer mercury poisoning from toy. What was the toy? C) A jar of mercury | (113) |
| (hfxnews.ca) |  |
Nursing home patient dies after smoking outside. "They had a smoking room and he was banned from the smoking room because he smoked too much" | (150) |
| (bloomberg) | |
Noooo! They be stealin' mah top grossin spot | (46) |
| (Star-Telegram) |  |
Early frontrunner for "Father of the Year" award rapes son as punishment for raping daughter | (312) |
| (hampton roads) |  |
Man, previously at 415 lb., in a "world of Oreos, fried pork chops, deep despair and self-loathing" becomes a lean, vegetable-eating personal trainer | (76) |
| (NewsAdvance.com) |  |
If you're a 60-year-old man and your 27-year-old female coworker dresses you in her underwear and then ties you to a chair, you're about to be farked | (63) |
 |
 |
BBC correspondent discovers America's love affair with bacon: "It has become a kind of porcine salad vegetable. Occasionally it even comes ground up and sprinkled over your dinner like a kind of dark, meaty snow" | (155) |
 |
|
Meat haters invent vegetarian haggis. That's just offal | (94) |
| (Descartes) | |
Altered states of consciousness...without drugs | (73) |
 |
|
Ninety-five percent of PCs are vulnerable to attack by hackers due to unpatched software, says a company that sells software to protect PCs against attacks by hackers | (119) |
 |
 |
No matter how many times we say it, it seems necessary to repeat it one more time: Do not break traffic laws when transporting $300,000 worth of marijuana | (92) |
|
|
Not news: Man breaks into house. News: Man is wearing spike-covered body suit, boots, and gloves. Fark: House owner calls 911, dispatcher asks to speak to intruder | (73) |
 |
|
New report says prisoners should be given conjugal visits while behind bars. After viewing the related pic, submitter thinks that would be cruel and unusual punishment | (40) |
 |
 |
Guys' night out and mancations becoming increasingly popular with young men. "We like to think of it as a 19th-century intellectual salon" | (89) |
 |
 |
Bride-to-be sends out e-mail: "Today's wedding is off". A few hours later sends out email: "The wedding is at 7pm". A few more hours later, she gets stood up at the altar | (120) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Photoshop these inline skaters | (35) |
| (TED.com) |  |
The most amazing video of an octopus disguising itself as algae that you will see today, and perhaps ever. (Octopus scene is at 4:15, but the first four minutes are cool, too.) | (103) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Article about the Snorg Tees girl on the right hand side of the page that you've been fappi... er.... dreaming about | (366) |
|
|
Old & Busted: Video games are immoral because they're violent. New Obviousness: Video games are immoral because there are no consequences | (174) |
| (TED) | |
Watch an explorer rappel with a rope in a waterfalls several miles underground, develop equipment for NASA to explore the underground ocean of Europa, and talk about his plans to mine water for fuel on the Moon | (64) |
 |
|
YMCA tackles America's health crisis. All together now... ♫ It's fun to stay at the Y M C A ♫ It's fun to stay at the Y M C A ♫ | (41) |
 |
 |
British government rejects online petition calling for pet shops to be allowed to sell elephants | (55) |
| (Murfreesboro Post) | |
If you're dumb enough to pass out around guys that will draw a penis on your face with a marker, don't make it worse by threatening them with your tiny pocketknife blade. Because if the police get involved, you'll make the news | (103) |
 |
|
It's been almost three weeks and the Griswolds still won't take down their Christmas decorations | (99) |
|
|
Switzerland's famed Alpine ski resorts facing yet another winter of warm weather and decreased business. Al Gore busy water-skiing | (131) |
 |
|
Post-War Stress, the Afghanistan/Iraq version: "Matthew knew he shouldn't be taking his AK-47 to the 7-Eleven," police say of traumatized vet | (210) |
 |
|
Old & Busted: mp3s, iPods, etc. New Hotness: Vinyl records are now making a comeback | (294) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Nineteen Bald Eagles eat themselves to death. Way to set an example for the country you represent, guys. Oh, wait | (119) |
 |
|
"The F-word isn't what it used to be, it doesn't have a sexual connotation anymore and so can't be considered obscene" | (163) |
 |
|
Man dies going down an escalator the fast way | (68) |
| (Some Stressed Guy) | |
Sergeant First Class Boe wants to lick your face | (38) |
| (Drew) |  |
Caturday thread had technical difficulties. Click for more info | (384) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop these soccer players | (44) |
|
|
President at prestigious Atlanta prep school was good at jumping off the eighth floor, not so good at landing | (45) |
 |
 |
Sociologist studying drug gangs actually goes out and infiltrates one, instead of just sitting on his butt in the library. Ph.D. stands for Pretty Heroic, Dude | (159) |
 |
|
Kayakers "shagged and buggered" after 62 days at sea, weren't even in Royal Navy | (26) |
| (ninemsn.com.au) |  |
Teenage genius who invited 500 other teens to a party at his house while his folks are in China doesn't believe his parents will find out (with video), despite involvement of extra police, the air wing, and the dog squad | (72) |
 |
|
Pyramid scheme suckered more than a million investors who bought a $1,300 box of ants, which they were then required to provide with food and water until death | (53) |
| (San Bernardino Sun) | |
Woman evicted from historic home after investigators say she was tearing off fixtures to sell on Craigslist | (54) |
 |
|
History professor at Genghis Khan University claims Mongolians discovered America. Also, there's a Genghis Khan University | (81) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Britney to marry her paparazzo boyfriend in Scientology ceremony; "Having a Scientology wedding is her way of giving her family a one-finger salute" | (127) |
 |
|
Scottish police hailed as "best gay employer." Inspector Phil MacCracken beams with pride | (35) |
 |
|
Argentinians don't handle flight delays as well as other countries' citizens | (36) |
| (news4jax.com) | |
"I just took the lunchbox and just clocked him with it, and off he ran" | (21) |
 |
|
Fish forced to drink like... um... something that drinks a lot | (23) |
|
|
The £inal Harr¥ Potter movie will b€ released in two part$ | (158) |
 |
|
Man tries to kill himself by eating castor beans | (56) |
|
|
Super diet pill invented which allows you to safely eat more meat and fried food, and may also reduce the risk of cancer. In other news, bacon prices expected to hit $100 per pound | (55) |
|
|
O Lord, bless this thy holy sand, that with it thou mayest let me get through airport security with €105,000 of coke, in thy mercy | (38) |
| (NBC 15) | |
It is a Facepalm-Off: Woman leaves keys in car that gets stolen vs. thief who takes pictures of himself in said car, abandons it and leaves the camera behind. Shake hands and go to your corners | (33) |
|
|
Teacher slaps whole class of elementary school students in face. All of them | (103) |
 |
|
Can dogs be bilingual? Uw hond wil lapje vlees | (73) |
Sat January 12, 2008
 |
|
"Rising star in the world of scrapbooking" has entry removed from scrapbooking Hall of Fame after it was discovered she used someone else's photo. In other news, you don't take your hobby seriously enough | (169) |
|
|
89-year-old man killed by exploding Christmas tree; should have cut green wire, not red one | (71) |
| (Some Guy) | |
The American Dream has been created, and it's a motorized refrigerator. "It combines two basic necessities of life – somewhere to have cold food or a beverage handy, and the ability to get somewhere without walking." | (41) |
 |
|
I came for the $3.99 Triple Play, stayed for the bottomless coffee, and left for the shrapnel in my ass | (34) |
|
|
Shark's virgin birth brings aquarium visitors, myrrh | (115) |
| (WATE-TV) | |
True, it's not easy to enjoy your breakfast at Waffle House with a grenade in your pocket, but setting it on the table tends to alarm people | (46) |
| (Poughkeepsie Journal) |  |
Mom arrested for putting 7-year-old into oven as punishment for losing cell phone. Boy said to be fine, a little on the rare side | (110) |
 |
|
"If you bring in a military force, you better have a relationship with the community." Baghdad? Nope... Cleveland | (95) |
| (Keep Portland Weird!) | |
Bless you, PDX. Pants. Off. Now | (125) |
 |
 |
Here's to you, Mr. "I'm gonna wear my Real Man Of Genius t-shirt while getting arrested for having sex with underage girls that I met on Myspace" guy | (174) |
 |
|
Arrests made in Sardinia as people packed into the capital to protest fishy waste dumping incident | (37) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Five-year old girl finds condom in her pick 'n' mix candy, which was likely a combination of Gobstoppers, Whoppers malted milk balls, Pop Rocks, Goo Goo Clusters, Blow Pops, and Lik-m-Aid Fun Dip | (63) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Prisoner is able to smuggle syringes, matches, lighter, heroin, marijuana and an assortment of pills into jail. Where did he hide it all? Let's just say it damn near killed him | (64) |
 |
|
Obama's left wing causes damage in Chicago | (108) |
| (Central Florida News 13) | |
Sea World Orlando is in a whale of trouble. Salt water leaking into groundwater said to be accidental and not on porpoise | (38) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Meth making family arrested, meth baby in protective custody. Unfortunately it's too late to use the family mugshot portrait for the Christmas card | (91) |
 |
|
Austrian homeless man who feigned illness over 100 times to get free room and board in hospitals; now expected to get extra helpings of Vienna sausage in prison | (66) |
|
|
Prison vans will cruise the streets of Britain, snapping up illegal aliens, because police are too busy. Way to cut out the middleman, lads. Good thing you don't have a pesky constitution to worry about | (240) |
|
 |
Born Free *sniff* | (90) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop these 'nanners | (59) |
| (KC Star) | |
News: Missouri to eradicate sales tax. Fark: On bowling balls. This ain't 'Nam, this is bowling. There are rules | (113) |
 |
|
Animator vs. Animation II: The Chosen One | (42) |
| (Some Guy) | |
College student expelled for opposing new campus parking garages | (211) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Remember that Gizmodo employee that thought it was so funny to screw up presentations at CES by turning off TVs? Ya he's been banned for life and more sanctions are in discussion for Gizmodo/Gawker | (307) |
 |
|
High school girl gets detention for wearing sweatpants with "Playboy" on them. Giggity | (108) |
|
|
Cleveland sues banks involved in subprime loans. Nobody taking lawsuit seriously because legal action of this nature is generally thrown out of court . . . and besides, it's farking Cleveland | (80) |
| (Some Chicken Lover) | |
PETA's poultry poetry, placed in perpetuity, provokes predictable pandemonium, protest from proprietors | (182) |
 |
|
Scientists develop "Cone of Silence" to hide submarines in ocean, cloak shoe phone conversations. Duke sucks | (72) |
| (Some Crotchfruit Lover) | |
Courtney Thorne-Smith gives birth to healthy baby boy, Jacob "Jake" Emerson Fishman, and the lucky sod is being breastfed. Celebrity crotchfruit trifecta complete | (106) |
| (themaineedge.com) | |
"A man who had a swastika tattooed on his forehead never said why he wanted it removed. I think the decision spoke for itself." You know who else liked tattoos? | (92) |
|
|
Heroic doc saves wife and six kids from fire that "ravaged" their home, then delivered a baby while the house was still smoldering. His thank you? He gets cited with building violations (tag for city) | (49) |
|
|
From the Ric Romero School of Journalism: Having children can impact your friendships. In other news, water is wet, fire can burn, and no number of iPhones will get you laid | (61) |
|
|
Colombia attracted record tourism this past year. Yes, THAT Colombia. "Hey kids, want to go see real life drug lords for vacation?" "YEAH!" | (89) |
|
 |
Protesters outside of Supreme Court wearing prison garb calling for the shutdown of Guantanamo Bay get arrested for violating protesting ordinance and could face jail time | (199) |
 |
|
Economists claim UK standard of living higher than US because Americans seen as "fashionless, dull, and with bad hair." | (146) |
 |
|
Guy who got on a commuter train is zapped with 11,000 volts. Next time he'll get in the train | (36) |
|
|
News: Australian wins bronze medal in Olympic tennis tournament. Fark: Player has been dead for 72 years and never won a single tennis match | (19) |
|
|
Scouts will soon be able to earn merit badges for skateboarding, racing quad bikes, and making fruit salad | (56) |
| (WAVY10) | |
Not news: Man gets a moving violation for reckless driving. Dumb: Virginia abusive driver fees kick in, to the tune of $1050. Fark: The man was riding a bicycle | (135) |
|
|
"The perception on and off Wall Street is that the newspaper business is in big trouble as readers flee to the Internet, and things will only get worse this year as the real estate and financial industries slash spending on ads" | (47) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Caption O.J., the Attorney Whisperer | (95) |
 |
|
The Sun is the world's greatest paper, says The Sun. The Sun is there | (25) |
 |
|
Cat rescued after wandering for days with its head stuck in a glass jar (w/before and after pics) | (344) |
| (SunJournal.com) | |
The helium supply is deflating. Prices are ballooning out of control. If the bad puns aren't enough, then how about a quote from a clown? | (45) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this unintentional clock face | (63) |
|
|
Airline passengers who had sex in midair fined £500 each for "outraging public decency". When you see the photo of them, you'll agree they got off lightly | (54) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Two stabbed at Cut Mart | (25) |
|
|
Stroke your moustache and turn on the Romero signal: Hot Chocolate tastes better if you add milk instead of water. Thanks, Ric | (97) |
|
|
Slowing down to stare at traffic accidents can really irritate other drivers you hold up and the police officers you run over | (36) |
 |
|
Man successfully challenges a breathalyzer test in court, saying he is too "cheap" to buy enough drinks to be impaired | (35) |
|
|
Gang killings drop sharply in L.A., proving the surge must be working | (42) |
|
|
Viagra, alcohol, porn movies, heroin, cocaine and cannabis smuggled into jail for parties in latest proof that even convicts are having more fun on weekends than you | (37) |
| (The Age) | |
The bastards in Australia have decided that the bastard cricket team can call the bastard Indian cricket team bastards, what a bunch of bastards | (80) |
|
|
Britain's first all-male lap dancing club goes out of business less than a year after it opened after customers couldn't get their enthusiasm for it up and business proved flaccid | (27) |
| (click2houston.com) | |
Texan teacher provides beer to students, news provides scary mugshot to public | (42) |
 |
|
Man sues Cryolife for $110 million, claims they provided contaminated cadaver material for operation that left him maimed for life. Dr. Frankenstein unavailable for comment | (48) |
|
|
N.J. has highest percentage of millionaires in country. Most of them made their money in "waste management", if you know what I mean | (59) |
| (Huffington Post) | |
Well-known bridge named after a Kennedy. No, not that bridge | (52) |
| (People) | |
Congratulations to Nicole Richie and boyfriend Joel Madden, proud parents of baby girl Harlow Winter Kate Madden who weighed in at 6 lbs., 7 oz., or 1.3 lbs. more than her mother | (76) |
 |
|
Dirty hippies from Greenpeace are in hot pursuit of the Japanese whaling fleet, thereby denying submitter his yearly bacon, lettuce, and whale sammich | (110) |
 |
|
Photoshop this armada | (28) |
Fri January 11, 2008
 |
|
Air Canada flight experiences violent turbulence, ten people hospitalized. Quote one passenger: "Enough is enough. I've had it with these motherfarking shakes on this motherfarking plane." | (83) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Some bank robber with balls of steal has actually thought their cunning plan all the way through | (189) |
| (WINK News) | |
When in court on drug charges, it's best not to pull a baggie with crack cocaine and $4,000 cash out of your pocket | (15) |
 |
|
Raise up your 2,000-calorie hamburgers, Farkers. Carl's Jr. founder dies at age 90 | (111) |
 |
|
Women who wear too much perfume could be depressed, whores | (133) |
 |
|
Not news: High school student shot accidentally. News: It happened when he was still in class. Detroit: He didn't realize he'd been shot until he got home | (114) |
|
|
Mother of 13 kids gets her size 6 figure back just five days after giving birth. Go share this link with your wife - she'll think it's inspirational (pic) | (326) |
|
|
Mauritanians arrested in tourist deaths. Marvin the Mauritanian also suspected of building a uranium PU-36 explosive space modulator | (50) |
 |
|
One of the 80 rules for ordering at Tim Hortons is "When you want a coffee with no sugar, do not say no sugar" | (373) |
|
|
Because of increased security in Iraq, guys can get on their motorcycles and act like douchebags. It's not news, it's CNN | (66) |
 |
|
Pat Robertson may bid for Norfolk newspaper. Will rename it Virginian God-is-my Pilot | (45) |
|
|
8th grade science teacher has a contest in class to see who can chug a gallon of milk in an hour. To "demonstrate homeostasis" [video goodness] | (140) |
 |
|
How do you find a stolen ambulance? Try following the sirens | (24) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this tin can | (69) |
|
|
Fark’s favorite state has a new theme song, "Florida, Where the Sawgrass Meets the Sky", beats out others such as "Florida, Where Debra Lafave is From", and "Florida, Where crazy people come to be normal" | (29) |
 |
|
Free HBO, AC, Swimming Pool, Meth Lab... wait what? With eye bleaching mugshot goodness | (44) |
|
|
Five things airlines won't tell you about their food. Disclosing Iams as the distributor not on the list | (101) |
 |
|
Dubya's solution to everything: bomb it | (306) |
 |
|
News: Lawyers for sheriff's deputy who shot his wife in the jaw, killing her in front of their son wants judge removed because he is being too hard on their client. Fark: The prosecution team agrees | (42) |
 |
|
Flasher in minivan drives away after two young girls scream, point, and laugh | (65) |
| (Some Guy) | |
In case you hadn't noticed, what with Britney Spears and the writer's strike and stuff, the world is running out of food EVERYBODY PANIC | (130) |
 |
|
Commit a crime in Oslo, Norway, and there's only a one-in-five chance the police will even investigate it. Fortunately, most crimes there are minor and herring-related | (39) |
 |
|
If you're a FedEx employee and you decide to steal some laptop computers, it's probably not the best idea to reroute to your own home address | (29) |
| (Venice Gondolier) | |
Police investigation reveals that yes, the five-year old shouldn't have been wandering around the police gun range, but he wouldn't have been shot in the first place if the cop hadn’t been cleaning a loaded gun | (60) |
 |
|
Israel tells court its hiding settlement facts to protect their image, argues that forced transfers doesn't refer to Palestinians. Because Israel's problems are a matter of better propaganda, and not one of an underlying unjust situation | (267) |
|
|
Jury to decide if man seeking $25M was traumatized by a hangman's noose at Brookhaven National Laboratory or if he's just being a paranoid money-seeking Tardd | (44) |
| (CityTV) | |
Canada Post employee delegated writing letters from Santa to local teens with predictable results. At least Santa likes your mom though | (50) |
|
|
Man dies from heating his bed with iron. Wonder Fe knew how dangerous that was? | (139) |
 |
|
One-legged man in N.Y. anti-smoking ads still smoking, entering ass-kicking contests | (95) |
|
|
Company invents special 'smoking mittens' so people can puff even in the depths of winter without exposing their hands to the cold (pics) | (158) |
|
|
Having solved all other problems, the German federal prosecutor's office overturned the conviction of a Dutch communist executed over the 1933 Reichstag fire. Quick work, boys, thanks for persevering | (57) |
 |
|
Smokers are the new Jews. That means Jews are the new Presbyterians. And Presbyterians are the new Unitarians. And Unitarians are the new Ethiopian Zion Copts. And Ethiopian Zion Copts are just really, really high on ganja | (196) |
 |
|
Small-town pissing matches are oddly funny | (73) |
|
|
Snowing in Baghdad? EVERYBODY PANIC | (140) |
|
|
The Juice Not So Loose | (97) |
| (Pensito Review) | |
Poll: God relegates Huckabee to second place in latest Fox South Carolina survey | (172) |
 |
|
TV morning shows fight over "Meanest Mom On The Planet" who sold her son's car after finding booze under the seat (w/ pics of her and her crotchfruit) | (281) |
| (tylerpaper.com) | |
PETA doesn't much care that a guy killed and ate his girlfriend, but now they're asking the jail to give him a vegetarian diet so he won't be doing any "senseless killing" | (236) |
| (Some Elvis) | |
Vegas weddings, and annulments in neighboring states, hit 10 year low | (45) |
 |
|
New book contends that being overweight, like being gay, is a “lifestyle choice.” Fred Phelps expected to start protesting at funerals with “GOD HATES FAT” signs any day now | (333) |
 |
|
US Weekly blog about Katie Holmes in the Boston marathon vanishes; nice men in black suits seen walking away, whistling nonchalantly | (68) |
 |
|
Marion Jones gets 6 months in prison for check fraud and lying about steroid use, but what's the sentence for her marrying someone who looks like Mo Vaughn? | (48) |
 |
|
Duck duck duck duck duck duck juror | (122) |
|
|
Trooper walks around I-4 pileup handing out tickets. Looks like SOMEONE was trying to reach their quota for the month early | (207) |
|
|
Musharraf says US troops welcome to cross into Pakistan from Afghanistan to hunt for al-Qaeda/Taliban militants. Just kidding, he actually said “They would regret that day” | (148) |
| (Drew) | |
"British Twins separated at birth who later married" - I'm calling BS | (222) |
|
|
14-year-old figures out how to take control of trains with TV remote | (80) |
|
|
In latest indication of how well his campaign is doing, Rudy Giuliani has stopped paying his campaign staff | (68) |
 |
|
If you absolutely have to have that online sex chat with a 12 year old make sure your computer isn't connected to the beamer in your classroom | (84) |
| (UK Mirror) | |
Persons with dementia live 4.5 years after the diagnosis, giving them time to host "The View" | (51) |
| (Some Guy) | |
A concise treatise on surviving (and winning) a fist fight | (388) |
|
|
Web favorite Ron Paul scrutinized for racist comments printed in newsletters under his name in the '90s. Newsletters were like blogs that were printed on paper and then physically delivered by the postal service, sometimes by horse | (472) |
|
|
Christian group outraged over statue of Jesus with erect penis. Disgust expected to reach new levels when they hear that "How does Jesus masturbate?" joke | (296) |
|
|
Blind man to run seven marathons in one week, one on each continent. At least that's what they're telling him | (37) |
 |
|
Study finds U.S. insurance companies systematically overcharge consumers, underpay claims. Ric Romero has more at 11 | (71) |
 |
 |
"SeXBox": New hit XBox game enables characters to copulate in full digital nudity | (284) |
 |
|
What's Your Story weekly wrapup: Hillary is a crybaby in Iowa and Barack wins New Hampshire because he is black | (78) |
| (Metro) | |
The touching story of an octopus who loved Mr. Potato Head | (90) |
| (MyFoxPhilly) | |
These days the local media would have you believe it's more of a story if your cell phone ISN'T loaded with porn when you buy it | (21) |
 |
|
Not news: Idiot does wheelies on his motorcycle, crashes. News: Deputies arrest him. Fark: Deputies un-cuff him because he is having chest pains, allowing him to steal a police car (with mug shot) | (48) |
|
|
Nanny State fires coastguardsman who rescued a girl from a cliff in gale-force winds because his daring action violated health and safety regulations | (128) |
 |
|
Terrorism is a young man's game, so Baby Boomers exempt themselves from the REAL ID Act | (238) |
 |
|
Some bank robbers write notes; this guy prefers to say it with flowers | (14) |
 |
|
Group to ride DC Metro without any pants this Saturday. DC city leaders worry image of city may suffer. NOTE TO FARK: Former Mayor, current Councilman Marion Barry is still among DC city leaders | (126) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop these cool dudes chillin' on the slopes | (52) |
| (Statesman.com) | |
Thousands of gallons of oil-and-water spill onto Austin's Sixth Street, mixing with the urine and vomit of young skanks and douchebags | (115) |
 |
|
After receiving the kiss of death from John Kerry yesterday, Barack Obama is back in the running after a blistering misspelled tirade from Roseanne Barr | (328) |
|
|
US military finally puts Abu Gharib behind it by dropping all charges against everyone involved, except for that Lynndie chick that started it all, of course | (510) |
 |
|
Boston City Council President "cannot believe" 1-31 terrorist is profiting from his diabolical scheme, demands he cut the city in on a piece of the action | (113) |
| (Metro.co.uk) | |
Boning your sister is bad enough but getting married to your twin takes it to an orchestra of dueling banjos level | (296) |
|
|
Boston Mayor would rather have people go without medical care than let them be treated by an evil corporation | (75) |
| (the alligator) | |
"With the forced starvation of Terri Schiavo still fresh in our nation's memory," one e-mail states, "I am appalled that a convicted felon like Dr. Kevorkian is being given the microphone at the University of Florida." | (368) |
|
|
Flight 39 now arriving at gate 12... gate 13... gate 14... gate 15... gate 16 | (252) |
|
|
Man sets fire to two $10 bills in front of his elderly father, thus depriving him of four months of TotalFark | (62) |
| (Some Guy) | |
"Attention Rite Aid shoppers: there is a sale on mouthwash in aisle 8. Also, there's a man with a knife trying to rob me at this moment." | (22) |
| (Some Guy) | |
If a woman says she'll give you sex if you buy her alcohol, get her something better than a bottle of Thunderbird | (198) |
|
|
Kiwis and Australians are fighting over sheep. Velcro glove sales skyrocket | (36) |
|
|
Drunk driver does a quick U-turn, runs a red light, dodges a patrol car, drives into oncoming traffic, hits a fire hydrant, crashes his truck, jumps onto his girlfriend's lap and tells police she was driving. Ta-da! | (45) |
|
|
Only the Irish would have to appoint a working group to try to find out whether the Irish are drinking too much | (76) |
|
|
Lookalike agency pimping out girl who looks like missing Madeleine McCann. Says “It’s not sinister – it’s entertainment.” | (64) |
|
|
Interesting: Prince Phillip sent "cruel" letters to Princess Di. Fark: This "information" is from a woman who uses "energy healing to correct imbalances in one's electromagnetic field." So nevermind | (42) |
|
|
Study suggest ways to reduce the amount of preschoolers being expelled. In other news, preschoolers are being expelled | (93) |
|
|
A German couple get fired after their boss discovers they weren't at an education seminar but actually on a S&M sex holiday, on the company's dime | (64) |
 |
|
Park City, Utah looks to make reckless skiing penalties equal to those for DUI | (58) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this tasty dessert | (62) |
|
|
UFO spotter believes Australians are descended from Aliens who landed at Uluru. Bonus points for the chap's name: Farkas | (60) |
|
|
Man catches swordfish with bare hands (with pics) | (62) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Dumbassnium discovered in massive quantities after guy brags that he built a nuclear reactor in his garage. Hey mom, why are those black vans parked in front of the house? | (98) |
| (News4Jax) | |
Forty-seven senators pushing Bush Administration to allow gun owners to carry firearms into national parks. What could possibly become dinner? | (553) |
| (Trinidad & Tobago Express) | |
As it turns out, throwing feces at judge may lengthen your prison sentence | (34) |
| (Northwest Florida Daily) | |
Unaware of several oceans, man attempts to skateboard around the world | (53) |
Thu January 10, 2008
| (Some Guy) | |
If you have a fear of long words, balloons, or otters, there are now words to describe your phobia | (104) |
|
|
Teen says that nobody actually taunted the dynamite tiger | (155) |
 |
|
Judge resigns after hosting holiday party at which she bragged about having sex with public defender who routinely came before her | (116) |
|
|
Remember hiccup girl? She was really DAMN SHIAT HELL just Tourette's girl all along | (137) |
|
|
Proud papa leaves his baby locked in freezing van while he visits strip club. After the bungee lady and the hold-up mother, the Minnesota bad-parenting trifecta is now complete | (60) |
| (KMOV STL) | |
6-month-old baby ejected from his carseat in SUV during interstate wreck; flies out window, across to oncoming traffic, lands, rolls and comes away with nothing more than road rash. Ta da! | (67) |
 |
|
Drunkest driver ever? Mug shot of Oregon woman arrested with .72 BAC. That's right, .72, nine times the limit | (283) |
 |
|
The Aqua Teen Terrorist tries to cash in on his notoriety. Boston surrenders... again | (56) |
|
|
There's a Japanese festival being planned in which naked men pile upon one another and frolic about late into the night to pray for good luck. For some reason, a Japanese train station doesn't want to hang posters advertising it | (60) |
 |
|
On this day in 1949, RCA released the first 45-rpm record. For you younger Farkers, a "record" is a grooved vinyl disc that was used as a rudimentary recording and playback system back in ancient times, like the 70s | (360) |
|
|
China bans ultra-thin plastic bags, birthrate expected to soar | (59) |
 |
|
Nevada Humane Society to offer black cats and dogs at reduced prices on Martin Luther King Jr. day. Claims it is just a conincidence | (129) |
| (Bitten and Bound) | |
The Sun was suckered. Britney Spears sex tape is a hoax | (87) |
 |
|
The truth finally comes out about who planned 9/11. If you guessed an ad agency was behind it all, please step forward and claim the grand prize: a gold foil hat | (234) |
 |
|
California zoo mourns death of popular but bizarre crooked neck giraffe (with crooked neck pics) | (184) |
 |
|
Minnesota Farkers: Fark Party Saturday, Jan. 19th. DIT | (113) |
|
 |
Sir Edmund Hillary dies. Was apparently alive this whole time | (250) |
 |
|
Study shows liquor wholesalers throwing millions of dollars at policians to preserve the sacred three-tier distribution system that benefits them and costs you, the boozing public | (75) |
|
|
Mother busted after she takes baby along during two hold-ups. Never too early to join the family business | (36) |
 |
|
Step 1: Get invited to CES. Step 2: Get a bunch of TV-B-GONE remotes Step 3: Turn off as many TVs as possible, including during press demos. Step 4: ??? (with vid) | (324) |
|
|
Head of World Organization for Animal Health addresses bird flu. EVERYBODY PAN... wait, he actually says the threat is overblown | (23) |
 |
|
Snopes debunks the North American Union. In related news, reverse vampires, members of the Trilateral Commission seen leaving Snopes corporate offices | (183) |
| (Saint Guy) | |
Theme: Lesser-known patron saints | (139) |
|
|
FBI wiretaps stopped. Why? A) Internal investigation to determine legitimacy, B) Supreme Court decision, or C) Unpaid phone bills | (71) |
| (Some Guy) | |
1945 article about the then-future 1975: "Will War Drive Civilization Underground?" | (146) |
| (KCCI) | |
American Lung Association office experiences an outbreak of lung disease | (38) |
|
|
Psychotropic medication is the tinfoil hat that modern society wears to keep the voice of the Almighty out of potential saints' brainwaves | (274) |
|
|
More high school graduates awarded honours degrees than ever, even though more universities than ever are offering remedial literacy courses for the little snowflakes. Some people suspect there is grade inflation happening | (282) |
|
|
1978: Pilots let me see the cockpit and gave me plastic pilot wings. 2008: Pilots concerned I might take control of the aircraft via my beefed-up in-seat entertainment system | (165) |
|
|
Thousands of people who were forced at gunpoint to start smoking file suit against tobacco firms | (212) |
|
|
World's cheapest car "upsets environmentalists." But then, what doesn't? | (290) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Brown bagging has been illegal in Bell Buckle, TN for years, but residents may soon be able to bring their own liquor to the Waffle House after a repeal of the ordinance | (56) |
 |
|
Legal firm creates website resource for men facing divorce. President of the National Organization for Women responds: "The notion that women are dominant in the courts and are treated generally better than men is laughable." | (663) |
| (NBC5i.com) | |
Completely disagree with this slideshow of the "Sexiest Newscasters" using the link to the right | (325) |
| (Some Ivan) | |
Latest Russian high-school history books focus on the little known elements of Russian history including Stalin's "effective people skills," Siberian "fun parks" and Putin's barechested hunkiness | (62) |
| (Some Guy) | |
The three-year-old daughter of electronic music artist BT has been missing since December 19th | (159) |
| (Some non-Farker) | |
"The top five things I saw in America which, as a Canadian, freaked me right out." Obviously not written by a Farker who would know better | (660) |
|
|
After blowing *only* 0.26, guy boasts to officer, "Come to my house and we'll show you how to drink" | (35) |
|
|
New Britney Spears sex tape is said to show a shaven-headed Britney performing sex acts on two women and a male companion. The Sun is there | (304) |
| (gaijinpot) | |
Strap-on robot takes the pain out of backbreaking farm work, leaves sheep emotionally detached | (46) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Last month, 25 percent of houses sold in Las Vegas were repos or short-sales | (100) |
|
|
Virginia Governor urges legislature to repeal abusive driver fees. Why? A) They did not raise expected revenues. B) They are unconstitutional. Hint: It's not B | (89) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Teenage entrepreneur sues Barack Obama for using phrase "Change Rocks" when it's the same name as the jewelry he's created. That's as stupid as suing someone for using a phrase like "Not Safe for Work™" | (69) |
|
|
Fark's favorite teacher due back in court with a "you'd bet your ass I would hit it" picture | (209) |
|
|
Matsushiata to switch name to Panasonic in order to get past profanity filters | (116) |
 |
|
Proof that Ma Bell is back to their "We do what the fark we want" days: They might start filtering Internet content. Biggest question is, will they hand it to the government before or after they filter all the good stuff out? | (77) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Man arrested for seventh DUI. Denies having bloody face when pulled over. Mugshot goodness proves otherwise | (66) |
|
|
Go behind the scenes of the Christopher Walken ass-double auditions | (75) |
|
|
The British government wants to ban elephants as pets. If I would have known it was legal before to have an elephant as a pet in the UK, I'd already be on a plane to London. Sheesh | (31) |
|
|
Claiming the U.S. version is fake, Iran releases their own video of the gulf warship encounter with voiceover work by Eddie Haskell | (131) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Dr. Phil tackles the toughest subject of all: Trash talk and "racism" on Xbox Live. Too bad Xbox live has had a 95 percent downtime so far this year | (290) |
|
|
Motorist shot on Chicago expressway early this morning. Residents outraged, wondering how many more times they will have to endure being late to work | (37) |
|
|
This SLUT won't take your money | (77) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Suspect had pot, crack and ammo way up in his crack. Asinine tag consents to cavity search, Dumbass tag says "OMGUFIAWTFLOLZ1." Rectum | (34) |
| (shieldsgazette) | |
Are UFOs from outer space or, as this expert reckons, are they just crafts created by a super race of humans living under the South Pole? And why do they want to live in Sunderland? | (59) |
|
|
American-supplied blood packs might have given UK's brave boys AIDS. The Sun is there, with all the jingoistic bravado you would expect | (85) |
|
|
Golf Channel announcer who made racist remark has been lynched... I mean suspended, from her job | (128) |
|
|
"No serious problems were reported, but the squirrel was electrocuted" | (35) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Cops follow trail of poop to find drunk driver. CSI takes night off | (36) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Niceville man claims someone has been putting Christmas trees in his driveway, ringing the bell and running away. For a week | (41) |
 |
|
I'm shocked, shocked I tell you, that taxpayers have been ripped off in the demolition of what's still left at the World Trade Center | (71) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Stimulating experience guaranteed as men and women come together for Copenhagen's first ever charity masturbate-a-thon. Organisers looking for volunteers to lend a hand | (100) |
|
|
The strange life of an Olympic hostess in Beijing: "Girls are expected to smile continuously, showing if at all possible a recommended six to eight teeth, [which they] practice by inserting chopsticks in the mouth sideways" | (99) |
|
|
Britain to okay new nuclear power plants. Greenpeace wants to split wood not atoms. Why do hippies hate the environment? | (158) |
|
|
Bush claims he can harbor a Palestinian peace treaty by the time he leaves office. Wayne Campbell claims that in the next 12 months monkeys will fly out of his butt | (85) |
|
|
Sad: Subway engineer killed after falling out of a moving train, then getting hit by another train. Fark: He was suffering from diarrhea and leaned out to relieve himself | (113) |
|
|
Joaquin Phoenix misspells his own name during People's Choice acceptance "speech" | (92) |
|
|
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Cross-dressing groom turns up at his own wedding in a bride's dress and tells guests 'I'm a transvestite'" | (46) |
|
|
Troopers finally start enforcement campaign against slow drivers hogging the left lane (video) | (425) |
|
|
Bush says Iran is a threat to whirrled peas | (295) |
| (NY Daily News) | |
Hey dad, I don't think it would be really cool if you use your MTA chairman post to change a few bus routes to run right next to my new shopping center. *Wink wink* | (21) |
|
|
A student in Norway who posed as a 13-year-old boy turned out to be a 33-year-old woman on the run from police | (38) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Tennessee lawmaker misses first day of work at legislature to finish up 30 day rehab for DUI (with dashcam video) | (15) |
| (Some Guy) | |
I'll see your disgusting house full of cats and raise you a disgusting house full of chihuahuas | (27) |
| (Play Misty For Me) | |
Photoshop what this man is looking at in the mist | (81) |
|
|
Yorkshire man makes five-egg omelet with only two eggs. Fishes and loaves day is going to be interesting | (38) |
|
|
A motion calling for the Church of England to be dis-established has been listed with the number 666 | (56) |
|
|
Artist ejaculates on pieces of paper and sprinkles carbon to immortalize the results for new exhibition, "Spent," proving that people will buy any old toss | (103) |
| (MotorTorque.com) | |
Tata launches the cheapest car in the world. For $2500, the Nano offers 33bhp, four seats and no aircon. Which will be nice in India | (172) |
|
|
Nanny State bars town from hanging flower baskets from lampposts, because they might fall down and kill somebody | (45) |
| (Some Submerged Guy) | |
China's Navy has tripled the amount of submarine patrols in the last year. EVERYBODY PANI... up to to a total of six. Oh, never mind | (133) |
|
|
From the "Whistle While You Work" Files: A music professor believes that a happier workplace and increased productivity are possible when people have a song in their hearts that isn't "Fight the Power" by Public Enemy | (95) |
|
|
Britney's family claim Dr. Phil is an attention whore | (164) |
 |
|
The 2008 Boy Scout Handbook includes tips to combat bullies with snappy comebacks along the lines of "I know you are, but what am I?" which will guarantee an atomic wedgie | (96) |
 |
|
Dan Rather set to prove his incompetence in a court of law | (104) |
|
|
Not news: Man breaks out of prison. News: Man breaks into prison. Fark: Repeatedly, to supply transvestites with women's clothes | (16) |
 |
|
Parents now bundling insect-infested children to specialty lice salons | (60) |
 |
|
Hitman tries to kill couple four times. FAIL x 4. Inspector Clouseau impressed | (69) |
 |
|
Blogging taxi driver is driven from YouTube by pop legend Prince | (60) |
| (Some Guy) | |
It took cops 19 hours to track down a guy who was originally spotted sitting naked in a stolen truck | (20) |
 |
|
British dental care most expensive in Europe. In other news, the British have dental care | (110) |
|
|
Online dictionary opens vote for Australian Word of the Year. You too can vote for "arse antlers," "tanorexia" or "salad-dodger" | (57) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this freckled pasta lover | (65) |
| (KFVS TV-12 News) | |
Missouri mayor wants to put litterbugs in jail. "I was driving down the street, and someone rolled their window down, and throwed a hamburger sack and soda out the window." In other news, Missouri mayors appear to need grammar lessons | (93) |
 |
 |
Wil declares Auto Club's insurance services can "eat a bag of dicks." Doesn't have the same ring as "Make it so." Wil trifecta now complete | (93) |
| (GWB was a cheerleader!) | |
School refuses to let boy join cheerleading squad. Give me a T I T L E... give me an I X.... What's that spell? | (134) |
| (WAPT 16 News) | |
School principal arrested for sucking on student's toes, paying student $20 a week to keep quiet about it (article edited after initial posting to remove toe references) | (70) |
|
|
6.4 earthquake recorded off coast of Oregon. Relieved seismologists say it was lucky it was undersea rather than occurring on land where it could have caused dozens of dollars in devastation | (110) |
|
|
Military's "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" policy changed to "LA LA LA I CAN'T HEAR YOU LA LA LA" | (153) |
| (Farktography) |  |
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 140: "Utility Poles." Make the banal portrait-worthy, revealing limitless variation and a stark reminder of life on the grid. Details and rules in the Boobies. LGT next week's theme | (172) |
Wed January 09, 2008
|
|
Online voting for Florida's new state song ends Thursday. Voters may choose from a list of three finalists, which inexplicably does not include "Crazy Train", "The Final Countdown", or "Never Gonna Give You Up" | (69) |
|
|
Associated Press launches new feature where ordinary readers can ask questions to reporters and editors about why they covered what they covered and how they covered it. Go nuts | (50) |
| (Some Guy) | |
FOR SALE: farm with 100+ acres, house, barn and an exclusive place in rock-n-roll history | (74) |
|
|
Credit card debt spikes to six-month high. Fiscal responsibility throws up hands and heads to the mall | (207) |
 |
|
Because of flooding, residents flee Tippecanoe, and Tyler too | (83) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Ten scans of creepy ads from old magazines | (344) |
| (Workforce Management) | |
If you are on permanent disability, being a regular crack cocaine dealer now legally counts as holding employment and could cost you your benefits | (75) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Judge orders man who tied up the courts claiming to have invented Trivial Pursuit to pay legal costs to the tune of $1.25 million | (60) |
|
|
Brighton College announces compulsory etiquette classes, telling students "You can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat" | (68) |
|
|
Gov. Richardson quits presidential race. Click to the right to post "WHO??" | (316) |
| (The Pittsburgh Channel) |  |
"Big problems mount for small Beaver County town with no mail service" *snicker* | (62) |
| (Some Guy) | |
A five-year-old boy was taken into custody and thoroughly searched at Sea-Tac because his name is similar to a possible terrorist alias | (144) |
|
|
Woman loses case against airline that banned her from wearing cross at work. But it's not over. "It's not over until God says it's over" | (75) |
|
|
Once Curt Schilling is done with baseball, he'll do what any other self-respecting athlete will, which is throw himself into developing a new MMORPG. Wait, hold on, that can't be right | (56) |
|
|
Good news for the polar bears: Acts of ocean piracy rose 10 percent in 2007 | (41) |
| (Bennington Banner) | |
Crow experts very cautiously predict virus is spreading, fear an avalanche of puns if they were ever forced to admit a miscalculation | (46) |
| (Your Erie) | |
Preschool teacher who duct-taped student to wall will face charges of assault and endangerment of child welfare. In other news, your crotchfruit has no appreciation of college pranks | (78) |
|
|
Survey finds 44 percent of Americans are annoyed by Christians, going to hell | (242) |
| (Some M$ Guy) | |
C:\DOS\BGates\LastDay\At\Microsft | (185) |
|
|
Woman who used fake MySpace account to harrass teen in Missouri who eventually killed herself may face federal prosecution | (249) |
|
|
Police Chief fired for stealing beer from the firefighters fridge. That's some *hic* fine police work *hic* there, Lou | (26) |
|
|
Another M.P.W.W. (Missing Pregnant White Woman) alert. Somebody take the feedbags off Nancy Grace and Greta van Susteren | (80) |
| (Edmonton Sun) | |
To complete the ugly-ass trifecta... here's a new baby gibbon | (25) |
 |
|
Woman confronts CVS pharmacist about expired medication. "He put his hand in my face and told me to take it to the choir" | (159) |
|
|
Coolest article about a Braille contest that you won't see today | (85) |
| (and bears, oh my!) | |
Houston zoo let guests play tug-of-war with lions and tigers. This will end well | (65) |
 |
|
Couple allows recently released murderer to stay in their apartment, are both completely caught off-guard when he gets all stabby | (102) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Valentine heart candy has new messages. What messages should they have added? VE | (351) |
|
|
President Sarkozy announces plans to model France's public service broadcaster on the BBC. British submitter suggests Melissa Theuriau would be ideal for popular BBC show "When Newsreaders Bend Over" | (213) |
 |
|
Mayor McKickYourAss saw no reason to remove the lingerie pictures from her MySpace page after being elected, what are you going to do about it? | (229) |
| (Some Chihuahua) | |
Woman arrested for sweater puppies. Literally | (86) |
|
|
Guy visits brothel, finds his wife working there. Awkward | (216) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Britain considers scrapping centuries-old law that makes blasphemy a criminal offence. It's about goddamn time | (83) |
|
|
You wake up and find the "mark of the beast" on your hand. Do you: A) Wash it off? B) Wear a glove? Or C) Cut it off with a circular saw and microwave it? | (216) |
|
|
Mr. Whiner sues everyone in sight because his precious allergic snowflake was dropped from the baseball team | (132) |
| (Some Confused Guy) | |
Photoshop this... um... this... er, well, it's a test or something | (63) |
 |
|
Final Reminder: NYC Fark party tonight at 6. LGT what you should check at the door | (96) |
|
|
German boss fires staff for not smoking | (176) |
 |
|
Lawyer breaks courtroom rule and wears an ascot instead of the required necktie, which allowed his foreskin to creep up over his head | (124) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Judge decides to fire his assistant right before Christmas because she's been really underperforming, with her being on medical leave with cancer and all | (216) |
|
|
"Community college papers are tacking up their going-out-of-business signs after years of wrestling with undernourished budgets, high staff turnover and one undeniable fact that can't be trumped -- they suck." | (38) |
| (HeraldNet) | |
♪♪ Yeah, they come to snuff the rooster ♪♪ Oh yeeeahh ♪♪ | (105) |
|
|
Not news: Thousands of people fill out job applications for a job at a new business: Fark: Wal-Mart | (151) |
|
|
Stop. Hammer fight | (136) |
|
|
When commuting, between drinking your coffee, eating your breakfast, messaging on your cell phone, sending a fax, flirting with the driver of the car next to you, and picking your nose, don't forget to look out for wanted criminals | (21) |
| (News & Advance) | |
Man charged with having gun on school property and using homemade license plate invokes anarchist defense, tells court his residence is "in my body" | (61) |
|
|
Old and busted: Knut. New hotness: A new ugly-ass polar-bear cub (with authentic ugly-ass picture) | (21) |
| (public radio) | |
Find your candidate by taking this poll | (456) |
 |
|
Rare but exceptionally ugly-ass aye aye born at Bristol zoo (pic) | (102) |
|
|
Today's Fark-ready story: "Jilted lesbian rugby player killed herself after brutally beating lover who had webcam affair" | (164) |
|
|
County-board member says drinking and nudity don't mix. Submitter knows one person who's obviously never stepped into a bar in his life | (80) |
|
|
The latest Air Jordan shoe design may be the last of the Jordan line, leaving experts wondering what athlete's name will next cause people to pay absurd prices for shoes | (218) |
|
|
If you love your kids, hug them before they leave for school And if you really love them, turn that hug into a good frisk, checking for weapons and drugs | (47) |
| (EveningLeader) | |
Women can't resist squeezing former town mayor's 42DD breasts. "I don't know why he's complaining, he loves it really," says his friend. Yes, there's a picture | (197) |
|
|
During a police chase, fleeing suspect attempts to give officers the slip by turning onto the nearest high-speed motorway. On foot | (17) |
|
|
Ugly-ass beige penguin adopted by cricket fans, who say it was getting picked on by other penguins. Because adopted kids never get picked on | (39) |
|
|
After New Hampshire, the media starts thinking that maybe, just maybe, polling data isn't all it's cracked up to be | (208) |
|
|
Today's "teacher fired for taking DNA sample from male teenage student" story comes from Devon, England. With "yeah, you'd probably hit it" pic | (314) |
|
|
Zoo saves polar-bear cub from being eaten, is promplty criticized by animal activists | (64) |
|
|
"Reefer madness made me steal two crocodiles and a monkey, man. It was the demon weed." | (67) |
| (Some Guy) | |
White House expected to push for a free-trade agreement with Colombia, which is great for fans of cheap, high-quality cok -- which is great for fans of coffee | (99) |
|
|
Not news: Man gets $120 parking ticket. Fark: For his farm tractor that's been in a shed for the last 13 years | (55) |
|
|
Man says he took knife to school to peel apples for his son and only "accidentally" stabbed his wife seven times with it | (77) |
| (Press & Argus) | |
"I got to stay away from alcohol and not be stupid anymore," says man in court -- during his sentencing for being a drunken dumbass | (29) |
| (SunJournal.com) | |
Maine couple married at the local bank. Husband winks that he's going to go on his honeymoon and make a deposit, was promptly penalized for early withdrawal | (36) |
|
|
Iran claims U.S. Navy video is fake. U.S. Navy heard to mutter that next time those sinking Iranian boats will be very real | (575) |
| (WMTW.com) | |
If the police are there to help you get your car started, it's probably best to put the weed away | (35) |
|
|
Thief dismayed to discover that the fuel he stole for his car was actually heating oil, after it wrecks his car engine | (61) |
|
|
Up to 50 vehicles involved in deadly chain-reaction I-4 pile-up in Florida (with video) | (178) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Greek women invade monastic community that has had a 1000-year ban on women, ruining yet another place where guys can hang out in peace | (93) |
| (Some Thirsty Guy) | |
Katrina victim files claim with U.S. Army Corps of Engineers for $3 quadrillion, or 353,356,890,000,000 Heineken six-packs | (378) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Woman gives birth without making a sound or moving, just like during the conception | (116) |
| (Some Guy) | |
"Totally uncool parents who obviously don't love teenage son, selling his car. Only driven for three weeks before snoopy mom who needs to get a life found booze under front seat. $3,700/offer. Call meanest mom on the planet'' | (364) |
| (Some Gallery Guys) | |
Photoshop these art admirers | (74) |
|
|
Man who escaped prison last month all Shawshank-style by concealing his getaway with a dummy and poster on the wall is captured while lying on a couch in an apartment. Six blocks from the jail | (41) |
| (South Bend Tribune) | |
Beans, beans, the musical fruit. If you eat these, you'll die. Bean recall negates rhyming, meter | (41) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Last year, God told Pat Robertson that 2007 will bring "very serious terrorist attacks" in the U.S. causing "possibly millions" of deaths. 2008 has come and, because of your prayers, "God in his mercy spared us" | (238) |
| (The Electric New Paper) | |
Two young lovers, standing in the street / K-I-S-S-I-N-splat | (46) |
|
|
Eighty-year-old woman shoots mountain lion in defense of dog, lawn | (42) |
| (News Channel 5 Nashville) | |
Woman dissatisfied with hairstyle rectifies problem. Does she: A) Ask stylist to fix it? B) Go to another salon? C) Flatten stylist's roommate's tires, then shoot roommate? | (42) |
|
|
Tough new immigration laws creating "unprecedented crisis" and shortage of curry chefs in Britain. EVERYBODY PANEER TIKKA | (84) |
|
|
Having solved all their other problems, a Long Island town considers banning highly dangerous Silly String from their streets | (39) |
| (Times Herald Record) | |
Police catch 14-year-old burglar by noticing the hole in his footprint where his heely-wheel used to be. That actually is some fine police work, Lou | (79) |
|
|
Two Australians arrested after pushing the body of a dead man around town in an office chair in an attempt to cash his social security check. In related news, "Weekend at Bernie's 3" now in production | (48) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this flame | (98) |
| (Fox 12 Oregon) | |
In an effort to overturn his guilty plea, Larry Craig's attorney argues his gay foot tapping is protected free speech (and he loves his wife) | (158) |
|
|
Four boys suspended from school in Texas... for having long hair. Some people wonder what a well-known long-haired religious figure would have done | (248) |
Tue January 08, 2008
| (ENN.com) | |
Fluorescent green Chinese pig has given birth to two piglets. With 1.3 billion of them, we'll never need light bulbs anymore | (48) |
|
|
NBC calls New Hampshire for Hillary Clinton. Obamamania hits a Clinton-sized speedbump | (1178) |
| (noaa) | |
NOAA's official, scientific, statement on yesterday's crazy weather in Midwest: "Wow Crazy" | (68) |
 |
|
SWAT team raids home to take boy with a bump on his head to the hospital after parents determine he is okay. Doctors at hospital recommend Tylenol and send boy home. No, not Florida this time | (164) |
| (Some Pot) | |
McDonald's blames fat kids on videogames. Big Mac value meal with 76% daily fat content had no comment | (92) |
| (Some Obese Guy) | |
After the bacon burger made of bacon, we thought it couldn't get any more heart-healthy. We were wrong. Introducing the deep-fried, cheese filled, bacon burger made of bacon. Served with a side of fried jalapenos, of course. Mmmm, bacon | (149) |
|
|
Two-year-old abandoned at Chuk E Cheez (with most pitiful "they left me" pic ever) | (115) |
|
|
Everyone but the Paulites are projecting John McCain the winner in New Hampshire | (425) |
| (The Local) | |
Swedish babes win right to swim topless in public pools. Hooray, hoo... no, wait a second, that should be "Swedish feminists win right to swim topless in public pools." Sorry | (121) |
|
 |
New Hampshire Primary results as they happen | (1895) |
 |
|
“The driver suffered serious head and body injuries and he was rushed to a local hospital. He was found still in the driver's seat, unrestrained, next to the 12-pack of beer secured by a seatbelt” | (56) |
|
|
New York state troopers hand out a record million-plus traffic tickets in 2007, none of them to the imbeciles who just blew by you in their ricers | (104) |
 |
|
Today's "teacher/student sexfest" story brought to you by Palm Coast, FL and a guy that looks like Homer Simpson | (96) |
|
|
This reporter couldn’t find anything worthwhile to write about, so he just compares air travel to "The Simpsons." Well done buddy, here is your paycheck | (39) |
| (McSweeney's Internet Tendency) | |
"I witnessed a businessman using a laptop computer. I notified the FBI." | (96) |
|
|
Q: What happens when two chicks duke it out in a parking lot? A: The Los Angeles Dodgers get sued, of course | (82) |
 |
|
Twenty-year-old student sentenced for assaulting another student in the cafeteria. Wait, let's make it more intriguing... a 20-year-old HIGH SCHOOL student | (141) |
| (Buffalo News) | |
A man walks into a bar with a bullet in his head. Bartender says, "Hey, you look exhausted." He says, "Yeah, I feel shot" | (58) |
|
|
Headline: Moron arrested after driving truck into house | (70) |
| (Winona Daily News) | |
If you get away with stealing a $200 convenience-store gift card, don't go back and try to get a $300 one as well | (41) |
| (Post-Gazette) | |
Nothing says I don't love you like a severed cow head. Cow-head trifecta in play | (28) |
| (Scientificblogging.com) | |
Study finds that your birthmark means that you were oxygen-deprived in the womb. Or you are the Anti-Christ | (104) |
|
|
Mars candy billionaire does not own the mineral rights on his sprawling estate, and it makes him a sad panda | (202) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this wavy 'do | (79) |
|
|
Lender: "Here's copies of foreclosure warning letters we sent to you." Buyer: "I wasn't at that address until after you sent them." Lender: "Sorry, we made these up." Judge is not amused | (186) |
|
|
FBI has found that World Series ticketing system, like the Rockies, suffered from no offense | (28) |
| (De Fence!) | |
Taiwan to purchase Patriots, Apaches. Rednecks and Sioux off table for now | (87) |
|
|
Not news: Man robs car wash. News: He wore socks on his hands, but nothing to cover his face. Fark.com: He recently applied for a job at the car wash | (40) |
| (Mehr News) | |
Professors from Columbia University to travel to Iran and apologize to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for their president getting all up in his grill last year | (259) |
|
|
Jerusalem turns off lights so Bush can get a better view of sun rising over ancient walls. Opponents say this is not first time Bush has been in the dark | (77) |
|
|
Eight reasons your house is unsellable. Apparently the mortgage crisis is over and having only one bathroom is now your biggest problem | (253) |
| (Drew) | |
Amusing political media coverage: A primer | (129) |
|
|
Russia says it will win the race to strand people on Mars with no way home | (174) |
|
|
Medical reason discovered for why Califorina is batshiat crazy. Still no explanation for Florida | (254) |
|
|
Ynewsmm_news_uk_uk_20080106. Uk uk | (169) |
| (Chattanoogan) | |
Tennessee politician launches latest attempt to get his state a Fark tag by introducing legislation allowing residents to pack heat in bars and liquor stores. What could possibly go wrong? | (181) |
|
|
Curiosity killed the cat. Curiosity and a few million volts. Citywide blackoutarity ensues | (185) |
|
|
Turnout is so large that New Hampshire is running out of Democratic ballots | (614) |
|
|
Boy Scout earns merit badge for counter-insurgency | (105) |
 |
|
Tattoo. Get your tattoos here. (Sponsored Link) | (157) |
| (Metrowest Daily News) | |
Woman arrested for disturbing the peace after ringing doorbells and running. With "ding dong, do not want" mugshot | (138) |
| (kenosha news) | |
Photos from the tornados that made contact in Kenosha, Wisconsin yesterday | (106) |
| (fried banana sandwich) | |
Discussion thread: Jesus vs. Elvis | (215) |
|
|
Girls who rank themselves low socially likely to add more pounds, put out | (474) |
|
|
Scenes from the War on Moonshine: Stills behind fake gravestones, counter-surveillance cameras and possums in sleeping bags | (118) |
| (myTelus) | |
Artist who created exhibit entitled "Everyone I Have Ever Slept With" is hoping meerkats are more popular than burned-out cars | (45) |
|
|
With little else in the world to occupy their time, Congress is set to take on Dr. Jarvik's Lipitor commercial | (183) |
|
|
U.S. last in preventable death rate. First in looking cool | (188) |
| (nbc10) | |
Slideshow of the worst songs of the 90s. Can't Michael Bolton ever catch a break? | (289) |
|
|
Survey reveals all the really bizarre things women would do to lose weight, including spending a week in jail and shaving their heads. Britney Spears suddenly makes perfect sense | (119) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Park rangers once shot an elephant on some cars. How he got on the cars, only the partying safari goers know | (25) |
|
|
Man walks into police station report that his cell phone was stolen. Man arrested for filing a false police report after cops call his phone and they hear it ringing in his pocket | (30) |
|
|
Theme: Stephen Colbert after two weeks without writers | (31) |
|
|
Thanks to NPR, we now know how much it took to buy peace in Iraq: $10 per day per insurgent. Pretty sure we could have swung that five years ago | (131) |
|
|
Pastor urging religious followers to buy Microsoft stock in an attempt to force the company to "stop financing ungodly ventures." Are these ventures: A) World computer domination? B) Bad OS systems? Or C) Gay rights? | (161) |
|
|
French justice minister given the finger, literally | (35) |
|
|
Visit Belle Isle Marsh in Boston and bag a few ducks, or if you're lucky, a 767 | (53) |
 |
|
Woman tells judge to kiss her ass. Judge tells woman to go ahead and serve that suspended five year prison sentence | (199) |
|
|
Headline: "Trail marker to honor Elvis birthplace." No word yet on the exact location of marker, believed to be between fridge and toilet | (44) |
 |
|
Georgia Supreme Court debates whether or not it's okay to round up all the ex-cons and force them to live in a swamp | (86) |
|
|
Pupils must be fingerprinted to eat school lunch approved by parents. You submitted this with a tired "Nanny State" cliché and got an F | (120) |
|
|
Twelve-year-old boy steals car and is involved in police chase down Queen Elizabeth II Highway that reached 170 kph, allowing him to keep up with Monday morning traffic pace on the QE2 | (80) |
 |
|
Asked to explain why he let his six-year-old daughter sleep with a loaded gun under her pillow, man says he "watches too much CNN" | (61) |
| (NY Daily News) | |
Now Clemens' trainer says he has no problem with sending Roger to jail. By the way, is there something going on in New Hampshire today? | (122) |
| (Heheheh. 'Plinth') | |
The next statue on Trafalgar Square's fourth plinth could be a burned-out car from Iraq, a family of meerkats, a solar-powered light show or, erm, you | (43) |
|
|
Because the U.S. didn't sink those Iranian speedboats, Iran now thinks they're afraid of them | (447) |
|
|
Calf is born with Virginia Tech logo on forehead. "The calf made her first appearance Thursday, at a local restaurant." Uh oh | (103) |
|
|
Another sign you've hit rock bottom: PETA stops making fun of you | (69) |
|
|
Scottish hero William Wallace voted "the greatest Will of all time" in a new poll, ahead of Shakespeare, Wonka and that dude who used to be on Star Trek | (100) |
 |
|
Sugar gliders banned in St. Paul, Minnesota because they're "a lot of maintenance, make a lot of noise and can smell." Children remain legal, however | (103) |
| (Some Curious Janitor) | |
Principal catches female teacher "taking DNA sample" from male student in darkened classroom. Bonus: Third time this school year a teacher has been busted | (225) |
| (The Metro) | |
Police investigating assault of a pirate and his parrot by a man dressed as a nun. Also, Catwoman | (31) |
 |
|
Photoshop this brick wall and sign | (91) |
| (Some Guy) | |
The city of St. Charles, Missouri wants to make it illegal to use profane language in bars. Tavern owners say that's farking bullshiat | (118) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Parents of missing toddler Madeleine McCann continue to keep a low profile as they search for their daughter, negotiate a big-screen movie about the case, publish a book and start selling press interviews | (102) |
|
|
You can now have your cornhole decorated in your favorite team's colors | (74) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Sixth annual Soupfest will feature a thousand gallons of soup and 20 recipes. You know who else made lots of soup with several varieties to choose from? | (55) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Disabled ex-cop, 73, opens up old-fashioned can o' whoopass on road-raging, gun-toting, asshat driver 30 years his junior. Fark: With his cane | (73) |
|
|
Home turns into Jerry Springer set in melee highlighted by mother stabbing 16-year-old son with scissors | (27) |
| (Metro) | |
When a London chef bites off a builder's ear, it's Bob Marley's fault | (29) |
| (Some Guy) | |
"So it was just me out there for a couple of hours at one in the morning, in the rain, building an eight-foot snow penis" | (42) |
|
|
Ten-year-old boy glues hand to his bed to avoid returning to school after Christmas holidays. Subby would slap forehead for not thinking of that first, if my other hand was free | (43) |
| (wwmt.com) | |
Shoplifting knives and falling during your getaway? That's a self-stabbin' | (26) |
| (The New York Times) | |
Economics professor says violent crime data show need for more Adam Sandler movies | (48) |
|
|
3,(911) | (725) |
|
|
"This won't hurt a bit" | (123) |
|
|
New Jersey apologizes for slavery, Bon Jovi | (159) |
|
|
Supermum catches robbers, gives birth, goes ta-dah | (18) |
| (MLive) | |
Man robs restaurant with hammer. Employees surrender dollars, ten penny's | (35) |
|
|
Bus driver's toilet stop brings the house down (w/pic of house) | (16) |
| (behind the pine curtain) | |
Headline: Driver in deadly bus crash not licensed to drive out of state. Article: He was driving in state | (44) |
| (Some Proud Parent) | |
Photoshop this precious little snowflake | (74) |
|
|
Rigorous exercise, eating lima beans, swearing off booze and smokes can give you as many as 14 additional years of rigorous exercise, eating lima beans, swearing off booze and smokes. Whoopee | (124) |
|
|
Convicted murderer, sentenced to 25 years, appealed conviction due to dissatisfaction with his legal counsel. Lawyer participated in court by speakerphone | (27) |
Mon January 07, 2008
 |
|
Ohio State implodes once again -- welcome LSU, your BCS National Champions | (552) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Another day, another website caption contest, you know what to do | (84) |
|
|
Dolly Parton's Dixie Stampede abruptly closes. No word why, but it's probably because management were boobs and didn't keep abreast of the fact that they were accumulating huge mounds of debt | (75) |
|
|
Is your emails with bad grammer and speling hurting your career at work ? heres some common Mistakes that culd be a reputation killer | (224) |
|
|
Man plans to live in Ikea for one week. No word on whether he'll be using a Fartful during his stay | (50) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Virgin Galactic planning to offer space flights through aurora borealis. Noted scientists Reed Richards, Ben Grimm rumored to be among first passengers | (47) |
|
|
Body of missing Georgia hiker is found, hours after a judge denied bond to the man accused of kidnapping her | (194) |
|
|
Ever notice what a bother it is to carry both your MP3 music player and your Taser gun? Boy, is there a solution for you | (57) |
| (WKBW) | |
Not news: 6-year-old girl gets suspended from the school bus. Fark: For kissing a boy repeatedly. Hussy | (60) |
|
|
Bagpipes called "a threat to environment" | (84) |
|
|
DVD sales drop for the first time since they were introduced. THE DVD IS DEAD. Long live the DVD | (151) |
| (Some Tinfoil Guy) | |
Since June 1990 the British security service MI5 has waged a campaign of harassment against a UK citizen, through the broadcast and print media, verbal abuse at work, and molestation in public and during travel. Or maybe not | (72) |
|
|
A Mississippi businessman must pay more than $750,000 dollars in damages to the man whose wife he wooed away, after the US Supreme Court on Monday declined to hear an appeal in the case | (212) |
| (Times Free Press) | |
Small town police department has a problem in disposing of confiscated drugs due to a lack of burn sites. Gee... wonder what they could do with all those drugs instead? | (32) |
| (Eyewitness News 13) | |
Parents Of The Year go to movies, leave 3-year-old child in car. "In their haste to get inside before the movie started, they apparently forgot the child in back." | (55) |
|
|
This just in: Winter no longer allowed to be fun. Now put on your helmet and go sled on a flat lawn | (92) |
| (Chattanoogan) | |
Your husband is having an affair. Do you, A) leave him and file for divorce, B) take him to marriage counseling to work things out, or C) drive your Lexus SUV into his girlfriend's house, and then biatch-slap the other woman? | (111) |
| (Some Beer Fan) | |
NYC Fark gathering - Wednesday at The Patriot | (62) |
| (Bad, Bad Storms) | |
The official Monday Night January midwest severe storm watch your ass we got cows hang in there supercell Auntie Em Toto twister spectacular discussion thread | (167) |
| (funtuna) | |
For your next Superbowl party: fondue a fondon't? Six foot long sub sunk? Deli platter doesn't matter? Try a Meat House Pictorial guide to a manly carnivore's delight | (31) |
 |
|
Boss tells his senior sales executive that she's "useless" to him because of pregancy. She gets all emotional and litigious, because, well, you know what pregnant women are like | (296) |
|
|
Gun deaths fall after new rules making it easier to get license to carry resulted in a six-fold increase of people packing heat | (541) |
 |
|
Apparantly Three Kings Day is a popular Hispanic holiday. Submitter now goes back to being blissfully unaware of other cultures | (119) |
 |
|
Obvious: Congress sends Bush a $516 billion spending bill with 8,993 earmarks. Not so much: They skipped some steps in the budget process, meaning Bush could cut all the pork out if he wants without a line-item veto | (215) |
| (Career Builder) | |
Most ridiculous top ten list ever. You're probably breaking No. 6 right now | (179) |
| (AutoBlog) | |
The perfect gift for the bemulleted millionaire: Robosaurus is going on auction | (18) |
| (The Boston Channel) | |
Father of Rhode Island's first baby born in 2008 was excited, until INS spotted his illegal immigrant mug on the news and then deported him | (164) |
|
|
Naomi Campbell, of all people, sits down for interview with Hugo Chavez, proving once again that the problem isn't that there are too many fools on Earth but rather that lightning bolts are improperly distributed | (112) |
| (Babycenter) | |
The full list of top 100 baby names for 2007 reveal that little girls born this year are being named after strippers and characters in "Grey's Anatomy" spinoffs | (344) |
|
|
In the latest foray to grab extra money from music listeners, they now want to add a $5 surcharge to every Internet account. Stupid and Dumbass tags battle it out and walk out hand in hand since there is no Stupid x 1 million tag on the horizon | (91) |
|
|
Supreme Court divided over lethal injection. Apparently dying might hurt a bit | (253) |
|
|
Today is the busiest day of the year for divorce lawyers, with so many couples starting proceedings that it's been dubbed "D-Day" | (93) |
| (The Orange County Register) | |
Man wakes from coma after two years. The miracle? He actually likes his brother now | (33) |
| (Sugar, red dye #3, and thee) | |
Photoshop something less forlorn | (54) |
 |
|
Your tax dollars will be rewarding 45,000 homeowners who were too stupid to read a loan contract | (312) |
|
|
Pope calls for worldwide mega-apology from Catholics involved in sex scandals, which should fix everything | (72) |
|
|
One of Dog the Bounty Hunters sidekicks found naked in his pickup truck. He says he was changing clothes after spilling some juice on himself. Cops say he was "performing a lewd act." What does... oh wait, I get it | (71) |
 |
|
Good: Holiday vacation in Florida. Better: Being able to catch the local news from your hometown on superstation. Not so good: Watching your house burn down as the lead story | (19) |
| (NYT) | |
Border agent: "Do you have any child porn on your laptop?" Moron: "I'm not sure. I download a lot of porn, but I usually get rid of the child stuff" | (169) |
 |
|
Man changes name to "The" Dan Miller Experience. Not a typo | (72) |
| (Media Morgue) | |
NBC pulls the plug on the Golden Globes. Dozen of fans heartbroken | (106) |
| (Winona Daily News) | |
Fifty-year-old man actually knows how to text message on his cell | (89) |
|
|
Photos of the three Illinois inmates suing over jail's soggy cookies and cakes | (70) |
| (NBC 15) | |
Man, out on probation for sexually assaulting a dead deer, gets it revoked for using alcohol and pot | (99) |
| (Some Canibal) | |
Six missing snowmobiliers found alive and hungry, which is good news for the most delicious looking one | (42) |
|
|
Alarming driving technique enables French truck drivers to watch TV or play video games as they drive their shipments of foie gras and white flags to market | (29) |
 |
|
ZOMG More oil in the bay Oh Noes Panic Think of the birds111 | (62) |
| (KGW.com) | |
Arlington mayor to those offended by her lingerie/firetruck MySpace photos: "Get over it" | (164) |
|
|
Defense official says two U.S. Navy fighter jets have collided and plunged into the Persian Gulf | (106) |
|
|
The average woman is in labor for eight hours, this woman went through labor so fast she didnt have time to take off pants. You submitted this with a Slip n' Slide joke | (79) |
| (Drew) | |
Saw "American Gladiators" last night by some fluke -- Drew | (345) |
|
|
Definition of a slow news day and too much airtime to fill: A profile on Lassie | (22) |
| (KCRG 9 News) | |
Man busted after calling cops to report robbery of money he won in illegal dice game | (36) |
| (Engadget) | |
Target definitely going Blu-Ray exclusive, according to Philips. Toshiba will be in the garage with the car running if anyone needs a comment | (218) |
|
|
First there was the "Dean Scream" that ended a political campaign. Now, there's the "Hillary Cry" that could do the same thing (video of crying jag) | (421) |
 |
|
Tennessee GOP forced to change listed number due to late night drunk dialers | (21) |
| (Some pissed off WGA scribe) | |
Because there's "no money in internet distribution," NBC Universal, Walt Disney, MGM and Showtime all just penned deals with Microsoft's Xbox and MSN online service | (109) |
|
|
Micro$oft being sued for $5 million in damages because Xbox Live is down. Damages include having to socialize and interact with real people | (150) |
|
|
Bill Gates says that in the future, making rude gestures at Windows will actually accomplish something useful | (30) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Won't be quiet while the babysitter is watching TV? That's a beatin' with a baseball bat | (83) |
|
|
Today's "mental health worker with pierced nipples and a strong desire to show them off" story brought to you by Florida (with scary mug) | (102) |
|
|
Kenyans now living under lesbian rule. What? Oh, TRIBALISM | (64) |
|
|
TSA workers: Slow, ignorant and now drunk off your booze. Look for short Drew cameo | (95) |
|
|
You can get skinnier just by reading this quiz | (66) |
| (Some well-spoken Guy) | |
Ad Age columnist examines why Obama is "acceptably black" | (429) |
|
|
Pregnant girls in high school are asking for at least four weeks of maternity leave so they can heal, bond with their newborns and not be penalized with unexcused absences. Next, they're going to want the right to vote | (338) |
| (xinhuanet.com) | |
ɐuıɥɔ uı ɹǝʇsɐoɔ ɹǝlloɹ uʍop-ǝpısdn uo 81 spuɐɹʇs ʇsnƃ puıʍ | (97) |
|
|
The latest exercise fad that doesn't work: Does it work? | (77) |
| (witz.org) | |
Budweiser introduces "Chelada": Beer and Clamato in a can. Follow-up red vomit not included | (167) |
|
|
Public defender's office evacuated due to rice cereal | (26) |
|
|
Iranian ships provoke U.S. warships in Gulf of Tonkin... err... Strait of Hormuz | (420) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Did Fox use a fake focus group to discredit candidates? | (202) |
 |
|
Father seeks dismissal in conjoined twin assault, claiming he was outnumbered | (15) |
| (Think Progress) | |
In honor of John McCain's claim that he's never placed a single earmark in 24 years, here's some of his most recent earmarks | (55) |
|
|
Researchers find women drinking more, wearing less at college parties | (123) |
| (Some Coffee Moron) | |
How many scoops of coffee do you put in the filter basket? The directions on mine say to put a scoop per cup. That seems like a lot of freaking coffee | (323) |
|
|
Man completes lifesize Bender with built-in brewery. The name: Benderbrau. Let's get drunk | (88) |
 |
|
Hillary may drop out of the presidential race. Drudge said it, it must be true | (263) |
|
|
Ebay: Re-gifting for the new millenium | (61) |
|
|
Now that the easiest way to become president is to be Barack Obama, don't be surprised if Senator Clinton claims that she's been Barack Obama for 35 years | (208) |
| (WINK News) | |
Excited woman finds rare pearl in her clam. Reportedly putting coal in her ass next | (70) |
|
|
There are some people that might think doing a musical based on "The Diary of Anne Frank" would be in bad taste, but not this Spanish theater company | (60) |
| (RCP) | |
One day until Primary Day, and the Real Clear Politics poll averages have Obama and McCain running away with it in New Hampshire | (110) |
|
|
"Man armed with toy guy shot by police outside Belleville store." Police reportedly were startled by Ken's hairless figure and lack of genitals | (37) |
|
|
The story that won't stop giving: Britney Spears kicks Dr. Phil out of her hospital room | (217) |
|
|
Musharraf: Bhutto commited suicide. Nothing to see here, move along, move along, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain | (92) |
|
|
Underwater shark photographers use steel cages, scuba gear, and carry shark repellent for protection. Then there's this Darwin candidate-in-waiting | (81) |
|
|
Illinois inmates file lawsuit complaining that jail food is cold, the baked goods "soggy," and that the calories and nutritional value are "not up to par" | (181) |
|
|
Loch Ness monster gets a private water tunnel so that he can visit the top of a local mountain | (26) |
|
|
Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Cows | (65) |
| (MotorTorque.com) | |
Jeremy Clarkson in December: I'm publishing my bank account details in a national newspaper. Jeremy Clarkson in January: Thieves have stolen money from my bank account | (116) |
|
|
South African teenager nicknamed "Snakegirl," who slept with her legs behind her head, discovers that a career as a full-time contortionist is the easiest way for her to make ends meet. With eye-watering pics | (108) |
| (wigantoday) | |
Man, due in court for bail hearing, asks security staff to look after his weed while he's in the dock. And signs for it | (49) |
 |
|
Just clicking this link causes 50 acres of rainforest to burn | (80) |
| (Pittsburgh Channel) | |
Pittsburgh high school cheerleaders attacked by bleachers | (95) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Caption this go-cart driver | (88) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Not news: Man attempts to rob gas station. Fark: With a fire extinguisher | (16) |
| (KITV) | |
Old and busted: Spray painting surfaces for fun. New hotness: Spray painting police officer for fun | (29) |
|
|
How bad are things in Pakistan? People are fleeing to *Afghanistan* for safety | (62) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Population "implosion" is depopulating Eastern Europe even faster than residents' all-vodak diet and hard-driving Trabant lifestyle | (119) |
|
|
With no other crime to solve, Nanny State police swoop down on a pub on a Friday night and after administering sidewalk sobriety tests, find that yes, many of the patrons are drunk | (72) |
|
|
Flashy president of France, Sarkozy, to marry another supermodel. Gentlemen, this is how you play the game | (78) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this drive-thru | (55) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Three teens try to stuff twenty-six bottles of cough suppressant down their pants at Wal-Mart. No Tussin party for them tonight (Wal-Mart trifecta in play) | (44) |
|
|
You say you've got infected spunk/Don't forget to wrap your junk/Don't worry, be happy/You've learned you've got some bad disease/We just call it HIV/Don't worry, be happy | (35) |
 |
|
With its surround-sound system and a TV projector, Internet connection, a mattress that can heat or cool before you get in and sensors that will stop you from snoring, here's a bed you'll never want to leave | (53) |
|
|
"One sales assistant even showed her breasts to make a sale." That, my friends, is a marketing technique we can all get behind | (48) |
|
|
"Fog wall" across Wisconsin interstate causes massive pile-up. Over 50 people injured, two killed | (166) |
|
|
The perils of long lead times, as illustrated by Sunday's issue of Parade magazine | (104) |
|
|
"There must be hordes of Glasgow female pensioners who used to be gang members, sitting knitting and playing bingo, occasionally reminiscing about the good old days, when they went around slashing people and hitting folk with hammers" | (55) |
|
|
Man celebrates 100th birthday and just like you, has slept in the same bedroom every single night of his life (pic) | (58) |
Community
Advertise
Media Friends
Hosted by
All latest
Create account
Farkback
Headline Search
Press/Publicity
Fark Blogs
Fark TV
Fark Book
Fark Travel Guide
Foobies.com
Fark Forum
Sports Forum
Showbiz Forum
Geek Forum
Politics Forum
Photoshop Forum
Fark Chat
Fark Parties
Fark Party Forum
Fark on PDA
Fark RSS Feed
LeadersCreate account
Farkback
Headline Search
Press/Publicity
Fark Blogs
Fark TV
Fark Book
Fark Travel Guide
Foobies.com
Fark Forum
Sports Forum
Showbiz Forum
Geek Forum
Politics Forum
Photoshop Forum
Fark Chat
Fark Parties
Fark Party Forum
Fark on PDA
Fark RSS Feed
Advertise
Media Friends
ABC News
Blender
Bob and Tom
Boortz
Doc Reno
Jim Kerr - Q104.3
Keith Olbermann
Maxim
Oddly Enough
Opie and Anthony
Pravda.ru
Rolling Stone
Stuff
TheSmokingGun
The Sun
Twitch / Z103
Site FriendsBlender
Bob and Tom
Boortz
Doc Reno
Jim Kerr - Q104.3
Keith Olbermann
Maxim
Oddly Enough
Opie and Anthony
Pravda.ru
Rolling Stone
Stuff
TheSmokingGun
The Sun
Twitch / Z103
April Winchell
AskMen.com
BBspot
BoingBoing
Broken Newz
Bullz-Eye
College Humor
Corporate Mofo
Fazed
Humorfeed
I-Mockery
Mentally Incontinent
Nerve Video
Newgrounds
NinjaBurger
No Apologies! Press
Retro CRUSH
RottenTomatoes
SbB
Something Awful
Superdeluxe
WilWheaton.net
Worth1000
X-entertainment
Zug
Link To UsAskMen.com
BBspot
BoingBoing
Broken Newz
Bullz-Eye
College Humor
Corporate Mofo
Fazed
Humorfeed
I-Mockery
Mentally Incontinent
Nerve Video
Newgrounds
NinjaBurger
No Apologies! Press
Retro CRUSH
RottenTomatoes
SbB
Something Awful
Superdeluxe
WilWheaton.net
Worth1000
X-entertainment
Zug
Hosted by
Fark's Sponsors
Copyright © 1999-2008 Fark.com, LLC
Last updated: Sun Jan 13 23:59:00 2008
Contact us | Report a bug/error msg
Terms of service/legal/privacy policy
Last updated: Sun Jan 13 23:59:00 2008
Contact us | Report a bug/error msg
Terms of service/legal/privacy policy