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(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun December 16, 2007
AP Interesting Now that a Wiccan wreath has been added to the Nativity scene at Green Bay's city hall, one man wants a Festivus pole to be included as well (154)
Stuff Strange Strange things are a foot in Christchurch (61)
BBC Sad World's Oldest Person dies at 116; says that never having married a nagging wife is what kept him alive for so long (52)
(WESH) Scary "There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?" (135)
Forbes Interesting Salt Lake City tops the list as America's vainest city. I'll bet you think this headline's about you, don't you, don't you (98)
(Some Guy) Weird A list of things you never knew were poisonous. List includes the platypus, palythoa coral and the hooded pitohui - a poisonous bird (88)
(Cracked) Interesting Ten things Christians and atheists must agree on, or continue looking like prickish douchebags (751)
(Some Guy) Sad Dan Fogelberg lost his battle with cancer today (213)
CNN Spiffy It's safe to go back to Vegas now (72)
BBC Dumbass Drugs, firearms, and passports stolen from customs depot in Coventry. In other news, huge party, fireworks tonight in Coventry (20)
(NY Daily News) Sad Assistant principal jailed after running with scissors...into her boyfriend's face (39)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man gives local Burger King an additional drive-through, no charge (40)
(Some Guy) Asinine Power company breaks into woman's house to secretly change her meter because she was behind in her bills. Even though she wasn't one of their customers. And it's legal (195)
(Twin Cities.com) Cool Man builds dream pipe organ from scratch, trying to find a long, narrow church to put it in (56)
AP Followup School disciplines girl for wearing Tigger socks on the first day of school. Her family laughs it off as a big misunderstanding. Just kidding. They want $95,000 (116)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption these fine ladies having tea (62)
CNN Interesting Old and busted: gang tattoos and baggy pants. New hotness: blazers and university recruits (48)
(Blogger) Amusing "A realistic assessment of how many 12-year-olds I could beat up before they overtook me" (117)
Maxim Interesting Maxim's best and worst things to happen to men in 2007 (108)
Boston Globe Cool How to build an igloo. Steps include building an ADA approved ramp (30)
Google Ironic Dad catches son smoking pot, so he sells his $90 copy of Guitar Hero III online. Fark: for $9,000. Merry Christmas, Dad (168)
NYPost Sad Is your marriage sexless? Then you're not alone, so to speak (235)
(Some Guy) Amusing NBA player carjacked out of his 2008 Chrysler before game. Though the car was recovered two hours later, the player is despondent that the world now knows he drives a Chrysler (77)
YouTube Cool Happy 90th Birthday to Arthur C. Clarke. With a video note from the grandmaster himself (91)
(Some Guy) Strange Top 15 weird gadgets you never thought existed (95)
(QC Online) Silly On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and ... whoa ... not so fast there Blitzen. Some Canadian woman seeks to destroy X-mas cheer (70)
Houston Chronicle Obvious "These days, working teenagers are becoming scarce." (365)
(Some Guy) Scary Winter storms putting the smack down on Northeast. You Boston Fahkahs bettah heat up some chowdah (210)
Chicago Sun-Times Dumbass Excuse me, miss. Get off your cell phone. Your car is on fire (54)
Entertainment Weekly Interesting Fifteen taboo breaking television moments (155)
Yahoo Followup Last year, two families sued a hospital in China for mixing up their twins 15 years ago. Today two families are suing a hospital in China for mixing up their twins 21 years ago (39)
(Some Old Gal) Photoshop Photoshop these playful pals (52)
(Some Atheist) Strange High priest of the New York City-based Church of Satan alerts FBI when he received an email from a high school senior threatening to kill his grandparents. Submitter isn't sure, but isn't this what Satan would want his people to do? (274)
NJ.com Obvious Jail inmates pull off elaborate escape, get busy livin', by leaving dummies in their beds and removing cinder blocks (42)
(WLBZ2.com) Unlikely Thousands of postal workers are missing paychecks this week. The check's in the mail (51)
The Scotsman Interesting It's painful enough to see boneheads ruin malt whisky with too much water; now scientists warn the distilleries themselves may have several billion gallons too much seawater added (58)
Guardian.com Obvious Porn industry being gutted as people realize they can do better with a $500 digicam, a web connection and a fake set of boobs on some whore who'll fark anyone (SFW) (178)
CBS Sacramento Sad Man, Darwin, Christmas lights, and live power lines. Darwin wins (55)
(Some Guy) Florida If you're going to deny biting your buddy, wipe the blood off your mouth before talking to police (23)
(pjstar) Sad Woman would like her stolen purse returned. Contents include money, wallet, ashes of 4-year old son (78)
News.com.au Strange "It is believed the man was harassing neighbours and passers-by while parading around in female underwear and a Santa hat" (42)
SMH Cool Ugly ass baby giraffe born at Western Plains Zoo, now needs a name (79)
Yahoo Stupid Yahoo's five sure-fire ways to pick up women. Complete with text message pointers (305)
(Some Guy) Asinine First grade teacher-of-the-year candidate comes to school drunk, vomits, abandons children on field trip, and passes out on the school bus. How else are you expected to deal with 20 six-year-olds? (75)

Sat December 15, 2007
AZCentral Amusing Arizona newspaper allowing citizens to write their own headlines. If only there was a website that allowed people to do that (55)
Daily Mail Cool Screw the turducken: here's a Christmas turkey stuffed with 12 different birds, that costs more than $1,000 and serves 125 people (pics) (116)
Fox News Obvious Israel says U.S. intelligence report on Iran not producing nukes could lead to armed conflict in the Middle East. Damned if you do, damned if you don't (190)
Guardian.com Obvious "This is the problem with early, low-stress Christmas shopping. It's dull, disappointing, and leaves you wanting more - kind of like a festive form of pre-ejaculation" (51)
Excite Obvious Even the Chinese won't buy toys made in China (79)
CNN Amusing If you and your spouse's names are Mary and Joseph, you can get a free night's stay at any Travelodge in the U.K. on Christmas eve, according to spokeswoman Shakila Ahmed (85)
News.com.au Interesting Teri Irwin is being sued for $2.5 million over two mysterious business transactions. Claims the lawsuit is a croc (63)
CNN Dumbass What do you do if a soldier becomes addicted to gambling and commits suicide? If you're a Congressman, you try to ban all soldiers from playing slot machines while overseas (98)
(Spiegel Online) Spiffy German teenager released after eight months in Turkish prison. Said he wants to see gladiator movies next (96)
(Some Guy) Amusing "As you prepare to fly off somewhere for Christmas, consider this: there is a chance your pilot once thought he was perched on the wing of his plane watching himself fly it." (61)
CBC Amusing What do you call 50 Newfoundlanders posing nude outdoors in -11 weather? (With voting for best punchline.) (Warning: small pic of naked butts) (141)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this table game (56)
SMH Stupid Just when you thought iPod accessories couldn't get any more ridiculous; presenting the iPond (animal cruelty edition) (197)
Canoe Interesting Alberta town cracks down on aggressive coyotes, bans all shipments from ACME (42)
(Some Guy) Scary "The trauma that must be felt by young children when they see Santa being pelted with beer bottles and eggs cannot be described." (41)
St. Pete Times Florida Pastor takes leave of absence to deal with his online porn addiction. It only takes submitter 5-7 minutes to deal with it every day (123)
(sympatico) Misc Man dismayed to discover that he's been dead for eight years (53)
(Some Alcoholic Artist) Amusing Best thinking man's booze ads EVAR (141)
Reuters Followup Spider-baby goes home smiling (92)
Orlando Sentinel Florida News: Man loses 250 lbs. Fark: To improve his bowling game (65)
Herald-Leader Dumbass Man blames "too much beer and whiskey" as the reason he climbed through his neighbor's window and got shot in the ass before getting arrested by police (46)
(Some NBC10) Followup Hardened criminal cocks up, gets caught pushing imported Viagra, given stiff sentence, will serve hard time (42)
The Sun Interesting British kennel worker in danger of losing limbs after being attacked by a Rottweiler that she thought was 'armless (81)
(Some Guy) Interesting The top archaelogy discoveries of the year. Paleontological remains of Jesus riding a dinosaur surprisingly not among them...YET (130)
(Times Herald Record) Hero Vails Gate, NY is home to the world's oldest barber, who's been at it for 83 years without a single - oops - whoa, that's a lot of blood (35)
Houston Chronicle Stupid Before we allow you to flee this Category 5 hurricane, we must first require that you submit a set of fingerprints to our computer, and wait a little while to see whether it is OK for you to leave. Everybody line up over there (159)
CNN Amusing Rapping monks and nuns hit the fashion catwalk. Rappin' Rabbis observing Shabbat, will be back tomorrow (36)
UPI Obvious Advertisements anger parents of autistic children, Wapner (94)
Local6 Dumbass Policeman arrested in sting operation. Do-Do -Do, De Da-Da-Da (51)
(Some Guy) Interesting Zambia shuts down radio station for "becoming a platform for confrontation, controversies and a channel of insults and misinformation." Looks like they've perfected talk radio, all right (49)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "You have got to be careful about stealing a car that close to a doughnut shop," said Chief Fred Hayes (30)
Slashdot Obvious The RIAA doesn't want the courts to even ask how its investigating the people it's accusing. Not that they have anything to hide, of course (146)
The Register Hero Activist judge rules that it's still OK in America to cuss at your toilet when it overflows. For now, anyway (43)
CNN Misc Militants fire rockets at Kabul police HQ. From a wooden cart. Police say it was a hansom effort (30)
Canoe Scary Security company Wackenhut to be replaced at all Exelon nuclear reactors after guards were found sleeping on the job, eating donuts in sector 7G (58)
SMH Cool Kitty has reached critical mass (537)
AP Obvious 300 pound man stands on a plywood platform at the top of an elevator shaft. What in the name of Sir Isaac Newton could possibly go wrong? (99)
CBS Salt Lake City Cool Burton offering $5,000 for video of someone taking giant stick out of ski resorts' asses (166)
Daily Mail Interesting Firefighters attacked by samurai sword-swinging lunatic, who seconds later discovers he's brought the wrong weapon to a firehose fight (79)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Obvious High gas prices are keeping people from moving to the suburbs (194)
Stuff Weird Old and busted: Man bites dog. New hotness: Man bites rabid duck-stealing dog (26)
(Brownsville Herald) Amusing Crossdressers stealing Christmas decorations busted in sting operation. Cops "arrested one woman and two dudes in drag" (34)
Daily Mail Interesting Argument over evolution ends with one guy being permanently excluded from it (296)
AP Spiffy Reason #69 why the Netherlands rocks: when the police find you with a hooker, they allow you to pay the ticket in cash rather than involving your wife (101)
(Bud Light) Dumbass After stealing beer from a convenience store, it's best not to back the getaway car directly into a cop car (12)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this poser (62)
Daily Mail Interesting Amsterdam police furious over new rules banning them from smoking pot while off duty (88)
CBC Hero WestJet promises parents it'll take care of 5-year-old, allows her to leave with a complete stranger, who gets a big Hero tag for Christmas (224)
(Some Guy) Obvious Cigarettes and alcohol make up 13 of the top 20 brands sold at UK supermarkets and grocery stores. Oasis predicted this (60)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man spends his days in a snow globe because some how or another that's gonna cheer people up. Ho ho (47)

Fri December 14, 2007
The Daily Press Interesting Prior to the 20th century, there was a War on Christmas conducted by Presbyterians, Baptists, Quakers, Methodists, & Congregationalists who opposed Christmas as unchristian (285)
(POPCORN!) Cool Farkers: Please help me expand my musical horizons. Anything you think is worth listening to, Id like to hear. LGT my current obsession (1031)
Seattle Times Obvious Washington Attorney General calls for stricter law to keep guns away from the mentally ill, Dick Cheney (109)
CBS New York Weird New York City spa doling out "golden facials" for $400 a pop. That's quite the money shot, King Midas (59)
(Marshalltown Times-Republican) Followup Butts found incompetent to stand trial in toilet paper theft case (33)
The Scotsman Amusing Sculpture of cow's backside that breaks wind three times-a-day fast becoming popular Scottish tourist attraction (42)
iWon Asinine Letters from Princess Diana to her lover released to public. In other news, Princess Diana still dead (75)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this pondering police woman (82)
Canoe Strange The postal service may be a little slow around the holidays, but 93 years is a little ridiculous (41)
Local6 Florida 10 year old girl brings a knife to school to cut her lunch meat. It's in Florida, so guess what she got charged with (374)
CBS New York Asinine Memo from the principal's office: "Our kids are dumb and poor, so lower your expectations accordingly. If you start passing more students, you'll get a $3,000 bonus" (223)
Canada.com Strange Purse snatching - so easy, a caveman could do it (51)
Denver Post Stupid Opening clamshell packaging without injury can involve heavy duty scissors, which often come packed in clamshell packaging (214)
Chicago Tribune Interesting What's "middle-class?" How about $100,000 a year? (664)
(It's not an emergency) Amusing Cambridgeshire police are so sick of people dialling 999 in non-emergency situations that they have released recordings of some of the most egregious examples. Including the man who rang 999 to ask what date it was (86)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sheriff orders jail cells painted pink with purple bars. Handcuffs with fake red fur and latex uniforms on order (59)
TampaBays10.com Florida Woman arrested for drugs apparently loved by sluts, according to her t-shirt that is. With mug shot goodness (132)
STLToday Hero Principal to student with droopy trousers, a sideways hat, and a shiny grill on his teeth: "You're no gangster. If I dropped you off at the projects where the real gangs are, you wouldn't last 10 minutes" (542)
MSNBC Sappy Family of slain Marine gets dog for Christmas: Lex, their son's partner in Iraq (217)
Boston Globe Dumbass Drunk driver might have attracted a bit less attention to himself if he wasn't the fire chief, especially if he wasn't driving the fire truck up and down the street with the lights and siren blaring (47)
ABC News Interesting A rundown of which airports you should not trust your baggage to, particularly if you're carrying gold bouillon or Rolexes in your luggage (89)
(Frostfire Zoo) Cool One of the coolest photos you'll see today. Look, read the caption (in comic sans...sigh), then look again (151)
The Register Scary Man contracts anthrax from banging on his drum all day. Todd Rundgren last seen washing his hands (46)
Chicago Tribune Misc Norwegian parking-sticker payment machine takes a page right out of "Office Space" (64)
Local6 Florida "Santa Claus Hates You" T-shirts selling like hotcakes. Bonus: He's flippin' the bird, too (87)
(Some Guy) PSA Georgia may get snow this weekend. EVERYBODY PANIC (141)
iWon Silly Poster of actress Bette Davis sells for $70,000. Buyer complains poster pushed her down stairs (52)
Local6 PSA Ten drinks men should never order (595)
Yahoo Dumbass Columnist says Western society is more sexually oppressive than Muslim societies because Muslim women WANT to wear burkas (154)
SuperDeluxe Video Wiggles alert: The leading children's dance along rainbow foursome has some competition. And they've got an exotic dancer (84)
CBS Philadelphia Interesting Rules to ordering a cheese steak in Philadelphia: 1) Wit. 2) Wit Whiz. 3) Wit Out. 4) Speak English (306)
(Some Cocoa Sampler) Survey Hot cocoa sampler box: What did you get from your company this year? (898)
11 Alive Dumbass You know your parking skills suck when you end up parking 60 feet in the air (93)
Yahoo Weird Older and bolder: Japanese people over 65 do more shoplifting (26)
Yahoo Interesting Latvian president names a transformer to be prime minister. Godmanis -- more than meets the eye (35)
Breitbart.com PSA New Zealand cops are not football players. They do not appreciate having their bottoms smacked when they do a good job (31)
ABC 2 Asinine All I want for Christmas is... four bags of coke delivered in my Christmas cards (45)
Daily Mail Asinine Not news: Student sent out of class for wearing offensive clothing. Fark: It's the fabric softener that the teacher finds offensive (146)
UPI Obvious Alcohol makes Aussies happier, healthier, drunkier (29)
Fox News Obvious Ridiculously obvious sex studies of 2007 (149)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this angry old woman (64)
News.com.au Amusing A drunken man urinating through a fence got a nasty surprise when he didn't notice the playful puppy there (229)
(wigantoday) Weird Back-from-dead canoeist has nothing on this guy. Try living under the floorboards in your own living room while your six kids dance about on top of you for seven Farking years. Oh, and he wore his wife's clothes too (122)
Boston Herald Dumbass Massachusetts governor: "Everybody get out of Boston, it's gonna snow." Everybody rushes onto unplowed highway and gets stuck in storm for four hours (348)
SFGate Dumbass Step 1: Make fake official-looking tickets. Step 2: Place on cars and wait for the money. Step 3: ...whoops (34)
News.com.au Amusing "Police officers driving the van noticed the prisoners had escaped when a passing motorist alerted them the back door was open." Thats some fine police work, Lou (12)
Google News Mass shooting in Nagasaki (353)
(Drinkies!) Interesting LAST CALL: D.C. Fark Party, 7:00 pm this Saturday. LGT Venue (142)
Fox News Obvious Tip of the day: If you find a prospective surrogate mother on the Interweb, don't send sperm and money to her. Well, at least not money. It's probably a scam (34)
(Some T'fette) Caption Caption this duet (68)
(The Local) Scary Burning hemorrhoids given a whole new definition (57)
(Some Tuna) Strange The world of competitive fish tossing will never be the same as officials replace tuna with replicas (31)
The Sun Hero Brewery launches new beer with all proceeds from its sales going to help soldiers wounded in Iraq. Submitter will drink to that (57)
Daily Mail Strange Couple's nightmare as travellers attack them 230 times and leave beheaded squirrel on doorstep. The perpetrators: Pikeys. Brad Pitt available for comment, but you can't understand what he's saying (120)
Sky News Ironic Man selling soul on eBay for $1 millon so he can have Christmas money (82)
MSNBC Followup Lisa Nowak's emails to William Oefelein were just as lurid as you would expect of two people who worked for NASA. "I put on my robe and wizard hat..." (56)
Yahoo Asinine House passes bill to ban CIA waterboarding torture. Since our administration and secret agencies always obey the law, consider this issue settled (644)
Guardian.com Interesting Brits try to fool government into thinking they're drinking less than they are by swilling booze from larger glasses (26)
(Some Guy) Stupid "2008 . . . What a trip" is just one of several t-shirt messages stirring up controversy at one high school (72)
The Sun Interesting RAF declares war on Golden Gate bridge (w/ pic that will have you hitting 'Eject') (187)
News.com.au Dumbass British army is losing a battalion a year - not to fighting, but to illegal drugs (32)
Sky.com Sappy Ugly swan named 'Crinkly' finds love after seven years alone. There's still hope for you (pic) (50)
(Some T'fette) Photoshop Photoshop these dancers (43)
The Sun Obvious No matter your intentions, you should not put down a sick cow at a Hindu temple (81)
News.com.au Florida Robber sets fire to two women (one pregnant), shoots guy in the nose who tried to help them (147)
Canoe Strange "Dear Santa: I'd like a pony, a Barbie doll and some new clothes" "Dear Kid: Go f*ck yourself, Love Santa" (105)

Thu December 13, 2007
Stuff Strange Dear Diary: I went on a camping trip this weekend with my friends. We hoped to see wildlife but instead saw a man who got drunk, masturbated, was beaten by his friends, and was then arrested. We also made Smores (43)
(NewsDaily.com) Interesting Doctor: You're fat. Patient: I want a second opinion. Doctor: Your breath stinks, too (89)
(KTVB) Amusing Man appears on two front page newspaper photos - one as a robbery suspect; gets busted (52)
WPXI Strange "He sneaked into the locker room two previous times and took a pair of jeans, a shirt and a bra, drove around for an hour or so, and then returned the items" (56)
(Some Guy) Amusing Catholic school principal resigns after he's discovered in an alley dressed as a woman, drinking cherry cola (160)
CBS Miami Florida Ten men pay one woman to marry them. And no, she's not that hot. But she is legal (123)
CSMonitor Obvious Nevada voters preparing for 2008 caucuses have to ask themselves a critical political question: "Do I prefer Snickers or Milky Way? And what's up with those freaks who prefer Red Vines?" (53)
(Winona Daily News) Stupid Not the best excuse to leave your kid in the car while running into Target: "She didn't want him to know she was a stripper" (60)
CBS New York Followup Save yourself the time of weeding through the 409 page Mitchell Report. Here's a running list of players indicated (190)
(NG News) Ironic Three youths arrested for bullying in small Canadian town. Who am we kidding? The real news here is the police officer's name (252)
(Wikipedia) Amusing Best Wikipedia Diagram Evar (256)
(Newsvine) Amusing If you're a tow truck driver who disagrees with a ticket you received, do you c) hook up the first cop car you spot (35)
(NYT) Dumbass Liberty, egality, fraternity, no free delivery (60)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Asinine Not news: County property taxes going up. News: county residents forced to pay a higher tax bill due to a clerical typo. Fark: a $2.5 million typo (36)
WWSB ABC 7 Amusing Man busted after tackling inflatable snowman. Miami Dolphins consider offering him a lucrative contract (22)
Newsday Amusing What do Alec Baldwin, Rudy Giuliani and Miss Teen South Carolina have in common? They all made it into Time Magazine's top ten awkward moments of 2007 list (77)
BBC Strange Thieves steal leg of Hindu holy man who claimed the leg had healing powers. Police and the man both stumped (68)
Reuters Florida Using the defense that they were running a scam on an FBI informant to rob him by posing as fellow terrorists, trial of six terrorism conspiracy suspects is declared a mistrial in Miami (37)
Examiner Followup Charges dropped in brutal snowball attack (59)
(News-Dispatch) Dumbass Calling 911 to report fake burglary not the best move if you have a warrant out for your arrest (13)
Washington Post Interesting Great sci-fi books for people who think they don't like sci-fi (517)
(KVOA News 4) Dumbass "He accidentally dropped the gun while hiding it behind his back and shot himself in the rump" (53)
(Some Some) Photoshop Photoshop this go-getter (59)
(Times Herald Record) Dumbass Man on trial for a 107-mph DWI with his 11-year-old daughter in the car tells judge to speed up the "boring" proceedings...and gets seven years to learn that in prison, "boring" means something very different indeed (255)
CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth Stupid As cold weather arrives, Dallas high school bans students from wearing 'hoodies' (256)
Daily Mail Obvious Designers forced to make handbags with reinforced straps to hold the 85 pounds of crap the average woman hauls around in them (315)
ABC News Unlikely Over-the top journalism at its best: Colorado church shooter described as "a killer trying to rain Columbine down on the Christian world" (236)
CBS News Amusing If you're openly gay, you can't serve in the U.S. military. Unless we're at war - then it's just fine (281)
ABC News Amusing Only in France: Store provides "shoppingboys," who are male models used to try on clothes women are buying for their men. w/ hilarious pic (103)
(mlb.com) News The Mitchell Report, in PDF format. "Cream" and "clear" formats also available (581)
Yahoo Obvious Britain bans the sale of samurai swords, except for collectors and enthusiasts. Or as we in the States would call it, the biggest loophole EVER (173)
(NYDN) Interesting Scores strip-club waitress sues after managers tell her to "act like a dumb blonde" (the pics, we have them) (324)
(Powys County Times) Amusing Man spends thousands of pounds turning his car into a giant fish. Holy carp (57)
Fox News Interesting Ten "healthy" foods that aren't so "healthy." Baconator conspicuously absent from list (371)
(Some Guy) Obvious There's motherfarking scorpions on this motherfarking plane (46)
(Some Guy) Hero Happy birthday National Guard (78)
Yahoo Interesting Reuters pictures of the year 2007 (162)
(EADT24) Spiffy Baby anteater born at Colchester Zoo. UK picnickers rejoice. With ugly ass pic, of course (50)
(Drew) FarkBlog No tea, just coffee and derby (kinda a sponsored link) (87)
(Daily Bulletin) Scary Student asks his woodshop teacher what the penalties are for murder, likes the answer enough to take a hammer to his romantic rival. Lesson: Never ask a shop teacher for legal advice (148)
Boston Globe Scary Passenger uses cell phone to tattle on bus driver's bad driving. Bus driver not amused when dispatch tattles on passenger (171)
Yahoo Interesting U.S. average cholesterol level falls into normal range for first time in decades. In response, McDonald's to introduce new McGreaser, four burger patties topped with lard (170)
Arizona Star Strange Mexican beer company launches brew named after drug-smuggling saint (45)
CBS News Scary Bushehr: From the people that brought you Chernobyl (144)
JSOnline Spiffy Harley-Davidson museum to open in 2008. Exhibits will include clothing, photos, posters, promotional materials, magazines, golf carts, snowmobiles and possibly even a motorcycle (188)
Yahoo Interesting Senate Judiciary Committee votes to find Karl Rove and Josh Bolten in contempt for refusing to cooperate in its probe of fired federal prosecutors (569)
(Some Guy) Interesting What really happens to your body when you drink too much and why most hangover remedies don't work (202)
CBS New York Cool Guns N' Roses' song "Welcome to the Jungle" scares teacher into calling police and hiding in a classroom (245)
(GIM Guy) Cool Some pictures of the ice storm in the Midwest, courtesty of the Salina Journal, which is likely encased in a block of ice at the moment (118)
(Courier-Journal) Stupid Bad: Tornado hits your town. Worse: FEMA rejects your disaster area request. Awesome: Your town is in the heart of Amish county (91)
The Sun Unlikely Hitler's child was born in Britain and could still be living there. No one is sure where the daughter might be, but The Sun is there (163)
Fox News Interesting The man is still trying to keep Al Sharpton down (169)
Wall Street Journal Interesting Why does Harvard even charge tuition when its endowment investments total $35 billion? Because screw you, they're Harvard, that's why (213)
IOL Dumbass Wang limps into court as his flaccid ant aphrodisiac scheme goes down (19)
(M.E.N) Asinine You took a picture of your baby daughter on a park swing? Why don’t you have a seat over there… (222)
Daily Mail Interesting Survey finds more than half of all British babies are complete and total bastards (70)
(The Local) Asinine Swedish army removes lion's penis from coat of arms to avoid causing offence to female soldiers (136)
Google Photoshop Photoshop theme: Bad holiday yard displays (71)
(ninemsn.com.au) Hero Two dogs save a toddler from drowning. Suck it, cats (168)
(Some Hobbyist) Scary Hooker charged with shooting her (estranged) husband three times in the back in self-defense. With pic of what $300 could get you (202)
(Statesman.com) Sad Woman dies in dry cleaning machine that lacked "do not insert head" warning label (90)
The Sun Asinine British police warn Brits not to put Christmas presents under their Christmas trees for health and safety reasons (85)
SMH Scary Fore people get a mulligan after their plane crashes into a golf course (42)
News.com.au Amusing Pie-eating championship thrown into chaos as dog eats all the pies. If only there were some other food it might have wanted instead (33)
Boston Globe Followup Seattle mayor discusses city's SLUT, now open for business: "I don't care what you call it as long as you ride it" (93)
News.com.au Stupid Old and busted: Sunshine is bad for you and causes cancer. New hotness: Sunshine is good for you and prevents cancer (97)
London Times Obvious Britain expects over one million Xmas gifts to get lost in the mail this year. In unrelated news, children of postmen throughout the UK expecting some great presents (21)
TBO Florida Teacher admits to being one toke over the line, to help him cope with classroom of precious little snowflakes. What are you teachers... on DOPE? (83)
The Sun Obvious The Sun publishes the ultimate politically correct Christmas card. All you oppressed atheists around here are urged to print out a few dozen copies (pic) (107)
(Some lazy Guy) Obvious Researchers shocked, SHOCKED to learn that college students tend to pick easy classes (87)
(Some Guy) Interesting Photo of mysterious "unicorn deer" roaming the forests of western New York. “I just wish somebody would shoot it so we’d know what that was" (53)
(Monterey Herald) Stupid State of California to 33,000 prisoners: Oops (24)
MSNBC Spiffy PETA's latest campaign: "Got Pus? Milk Does" (224)
Telegraph Dumbass Arizona sheriff and world-class attention whore Joe Arpaio is at it again, this time by ordering convicted drunk drivers to bury dead alcoholics (127)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this shell holder (68)
CNN Sad Old man was falsely imprisoned by U.S. Army in WWII for 15 months. Receives check for back pay: $725. No interest or further settlement, not yours (81)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 136: "Farktography Classic: HDR 2." Details and rules in Boobies. LGT next week's theme (137)

Wed December 12, 2007
YouTube Interesting (Spoiler Alert) Digital processing reveals the final whisper in Lost in Translation (338)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Unlikely The foreskin of Jesus has gone missing. Penis (122)
TampaBays10.com Florida Gas station hoses car owners by putting diesel fuel in the unleaded fuel tanks (84)
ABC 4 Asinine Man chains his girlfriend to a car engine stored inside their apartment to keep her from cheating. Jeff Foxworthy already trying out new "You might be a redneck..." jokes (120)
(Missoulian) Asinine Rich douchebags will stop at nothing to purchase the ultimate Christmas experience, including Fed-Exing trees from the East Coast to their cabins in Montana. Which is surrounded by trees (165)
(Some Guy) Followup In case you thought it couldn't get any weirder, lost Canoe man stole a dead baby's identity to stay afloat (70)
(Sentinel and Enterprise) PSA Just because you CAN turn a human skull into an ashtray doesn't mean you should (101)
The Tennessean Strange Bizarre settlement may lead to Nashville's less fortunate receiving the greatest gift of all this holiday season. Free hockey tickets (41)
(seacoast online) Dumbass Man arrested for too much meat in pants (49)
(nbc17) Scary Woman stands trial for tearing off scrotum. Nad displacement trifecta now in play (78)
Yahoo Misc Chicago museum gets Gaugowned (46)
(Some Guy) Asinine Man cuts off his testicles in prison. She is now suing. (102)
AP Obvious President Bush vetoes the children's health insurance bill (again) in private (641)
Yahoo Unlikely National Institutes of Health panel hopes to remove stigma attached to incontinence. Can America change its attitude towards this debilitating condition? Depends (94)
(Some Guy) Florida Santa Claus parade livened up by woman doing pole dance on float: “This woman is bent over, totally naked and doing a dance you see in Key West. It was one of the most vulgar things I've ever seen" (134)
AP Dumbass Green Bay puts up municipal nativity scene just to piss off atheists (302)
Local6 Florida Santa's elves ticket naughty speeders (with pic goodness, video) (58)
(Some Guy) Dumbass You know, back in the old days the armed robbers would actually get out of their vehicles to rob you (23)
Boston Herald Amusing Lottery winner “who runs a Lowell mini-mart and adult peep show, magazine and sex-toy shop with his mom,” is going to wait ‘til next year to cash in the ticket. Then he’ll be living the high life (63)
(TMZ.com) Sad Ike Turner has died (308)
Canada.com Obvious Canadian student named Ryan Poon wins business competition, credits win with skills learned from playing World of Warcraft. Also might represent the only Poon most of his guildmembers will ever know (125)
(9News.com) Amusing Falling back on higher intelligence and superior firepower, city starts shelling geese to get them off golf course (78)
TampaBays10.com Florida Mother of the year leaves her autistic 12-year-old home to babysit her 10-year-old, so she can go drinking. With yeah-you'd hit it mug shot (286)
CNN Cool Britain to increase wind power production to 33 jigawatts by 2020, or enough to power approximately 27 DeLoreans (130)
(Bloomberg) Followup Marion Jones stripped of Olympic medals, manhood (83)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop this bee-catcher (95)
(metro.co.uk) Unlikely Convicted murderer is upset that someone killed her guinea pig, demands autopsy and a full-scale investigation (65)
WNBC Asinine So about that $1 million winning lottery ticket....yeah, we can't find it (54)
SeattlePI Dumbass Told he'd have to throw out his two pints of vodka before boarding the plane, a 64-year-old man opted to chug down the whole bottle in the security line. Worked out about as well as you'd expect (170)
ABC News Obvious It's December, so it's time for the winner of the stupidest consumer product warning label in America to be announced. This year's champ: "Danger - Avoid Death" (94)
Fox News Asinine Wal-Mart raids teen girls' panties (283)
Yahoo Stupid The Associated Press addresses one of the biggest issues in the upcoming presidential election, the critical swing issue that affects all Americans: How do the candidates like their coffee? (82)
Yahoo Unlikely Tajikistan forced to crack down on witch doctors and fortune tellers, since they have been deemed major cause of continued poverty for many citizens (36)
(Some Nobel Peace Prize Guy) Cool Kylie Minogue dances around in a black leather dress while some Nobel Peace Prize guy talks about the world ending, or something. Pic AND Video of Kylie (134)
(mlive) Strange Old and busted: Hoarding dozens of cats in your house. New hotness: Hoarding dozens of Christmas trees (33)
MDN Scary Video arcade robbers hit employee on head with hammer, fail to rescue princess from giant ape (45)
Komo Hero Former Seahawk kicker uses rock to break window and save crash victim. Would have tried to kick the window out but he was worried he'd shank it (97)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Cool Muslim student comes to the aid of Jews who were attacked for saying "Happy Chanukah" to some Christians wishing them a "Merry Christmas." It's a Kwanzaa miracle (482)
The Morning Call Amusing Streaker nabbed after brief-less sprint, but he was not called for double dribbling (24)
Fox News Sick Mom -- sentenced to jail for bludgeoning her boyfriend with her four-week-old son -- says she "missed her children" while in jail. Missed them with what? (163)
Pravda Interesting Putin's babyface, Dmitry Medvedev, keeps fish tank in his office and listens to Black Sabbath (34)
Philly Followup Philadelphian busybodies convince Hershey to change packaging of powdered breath mints so they don't look like packets of crack (79)
(Some paparazzi creep) Scary Jenna Jameson or undead clown? (357)
The Sun Spiffy Jessica Alba is preggers. The Sun is there (200)
ABC News Misc ABC asks, "Should we castrate rapists?" Article worth a look if only for the graphic (237)
(NASA via HuffPo) Obvious Through November, 2007 is on track to be the second hottest year ever recorded (417)
(Motorstorm) Interesting Gamespot on Motorstorm: "If someone in a postapocalyptic future decided to crossbreed rallycross racing and Burning Man-style music-festival culture into one ridiculous orgy of vehicular violence and heavy music" (Sponsored link) (70)
Orlando Sentinel Florida World's worst golfers. With video (69)
MSNBC Obvious Romero hits to slopes to report that snowboarders and skiiers fall down (62)
Breitbart.tv Dumbass Yet another reason not to get your boyfriend's name tattooed on you in Chinese. Girl finds out that hers actually spells 'Supermarket' (153)
CNN Interesting What do a carjacker, a moonshiner, a drug dealer, a violator of election laws, and Scooter Libby have in common? Nothing, since Bush didn't pardon Scooter (61)
Toledo Blade Strange How much do you think being unwittingly videotaped by your landlord is worth? Apparently in Ohio it's about a hundred bucks (40)
The Sun Interesting Greek authorities threaten to fine parrot for illegal parking. Again (21)
SuperDeluxe Video Thinking of dine and dashing? Hope this guy is not your waiter (88)
ABC News Strange First, it was foie gras, then smoking. Now, Chicago considering chicken ban (145)
ABC News Interesting Mysterious decorators are adorning the trees along Garden State Parkway in New Jersey with Christmas ornaments under cover of darkness (94)
Globe and Mail Weird Having successfully captured Bin Laden, U.S. now on the hunt for Canadian potatoes in eight states (40)
(defensetech.org) Cool Was it a dream where you see yourself standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at you? (181)
(ITN) Followup Gordon Brown will "not enter into any negotiations. with the Taliban" (29)
Newsday Obvious "Poor hit hardest by climate change." In related news, poor are hit hardest by everything (144)
(Some football fan) Interesting Fans using online flight information to track coaching prospects as they travel to interviews. Sports fans just officially outnerded Trekkies (41)
(Some Guy) Florida Running down the street naked is one thing, but running down the street having vision of Jesus and being covered in snakes is completely different (53)
(Some Guy) Amusing Best media corrections of 2007 (60)
ABC 4 Dumbass News: Popular PA amusement park being sold to a Spanish company. Fark: Public relations director calms worries by saying, "We don't think it's going to become a giant taco stand." (168)
AP Asinine Colorado Church Murders Headline: "FBI May Have Been Warned About Rampage". Article: 30 minutes ahead of time. And it was anonymous (205)
AP Asinine Dunkin donuts clerk doesn't care about the guy with his hands in the registers, only cares about how his hair looks on the surveillance video (126)
AFP Cool If you're a taxi driver and a customer asks to drive your taxi, usually you don't let the customer do it. Unless the customer is Michael Schumacher (220)
(Some Farker) Photoshop Photoshop this thieving squirrel (84)
(News 4 Jacksonville) Florida News: Man arrested for beating up his mother. Fark: beats her up every time she cleans house (80)
ABC News Hero Shoe company founder leaves $500 college savings nest egg for every child born in Maine (236)
(The Moran Post) Dumbass Not news: Man steals car. News: Car belonged to crime victim who was talking to police just feet away. Fark.com: TV news crew gets it all on video. (video + mugshot) (95)
(WMTW.com) Dumbass A man that lead police on a 25 mile chase says he couldn't stop because his parking brake was stuck. Wait... what? (38)
TBO Florida Today's candidate for the Fark Mugshot Hall of Fame comes from Safety Harbor (67)
(Some Guy) Scary Red light camera is "going nuts" and snapping pictures of legal drivers. The revolt of the machines is now (118)
(The Age) Amusing Actual headline: Senator's strip tip - wear clean undies (38)
(NBC 15) Strange "Put your hands and drill over your head and move away from the patient" (42)
This Is Local London Asinine British PM Gordon Brown announces he will negotiate with Taliban to end war in Afghanistan (334)
First Coast News Silly Women develop cure for plumber's crack: extra-wide T-back underwear (83)
News.com.au Scary Cat wanders home with deadly snake wrapped around its neck, survives, with scary pic (168)
SFGate Spiffy Sea lion wanders onto Bay Area town's streets, can haz bukket (72)
(Some Guy) Interesting Holy mackerel -- trout escape fish farm by jumping three feet to freedom through a drainage pipe (w/pic). Halibut that (85)
Stuff Dumbass Actual Headline: "Naked man sent to wrong house for sex" (48)
(Some Beach Guy) Photoshop Photoshop what these two cuties are looking at (113)

Tue December 11, 2007
Newsweek Stupid Company sells bottled 'Holy Water'; discovers technology to stop it from turning to wine (78)
Yahoo Asinine Inmate shared cell with cockroaches, called wahhhhmbulance, won compensation (116)
BBC Spiffy Mexican 'cannibal' kills himself. No word on whether he served himself with salsa (82)
Fox News Asinine Dutch lawmaker plans on making a film that highlights the "fascist" parts of the Koran. No doubt, any grievances agianst the film will be expressed through constructive criticism and healthy debate (421)
ABC News Stupid Merriam-Webster's Word of 2007: 'W00t.' (276)
NBC 11 Stupid A father and son bond over the boy's first visit to a gun range. That was before things got all Dick Cheney (136)
Yahoo NewsFlash Today's mass shooting by a douchebag brought to you by a school bus stop in Las Vegas (247)
Fox News Dumbass There are smarter ways of getting out of jury duty then bringing a 2.5 foot sword into court (94)
AP Scary This week's librul media fear mongering: Estimated date of complete loss of Arctic sea-ice bumped up from 2040 to 2012. Good thing we all just read that link explaining that greenhouse warming is a myth (491)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Darwin helping fight the War on Terror (55)
Wonkette Amusing Because it's Tuesday, here's a guy dressed as a robot, heckling Bill Clinton over comments made 15 years ago about rapper Sister Souljah (121)
(Nanny State UK) Asinine Today's Nanny State News comes from the UK, where they want to regulate the thickness of your sandwich bread (97)
(Some Arborist) Photoshop Photoshop this lonely tree (108)
The Tennessean Interesting Raw chickens spattered across I-24 in Nashville (w/ wtf pic) (128)
Toronto Star Dumbass You have been detained for threatening to go on a shooting spree using Superpoke™ (88)
Local6 Florida A former county councilman charged with drunken driving was found at the scene drinking suntan lotion (59)
London Times Followup The lie, the switch and the wardrobe (66)
(Some Girl) Dumbass Anybody can get into an altercation and get arrested, but only a select few can provide a mugshot like this one (98)
TampaBays10.com Florida Contest to pick new Florida state song down to three finalists. "Ye olde cracker" and "Man we're stupid" still in the running (64)
Contact Music Spiffy After 19 years, Paul Reubens will expose himself to a new generation when he reprises his role of Pee Wee Herman (212)
ESPN Cool What an actual college football playoff bracket would look like this year (207)
(iF Magazine) Stupid Pamela Anderson has been named TV’s Sexiest Woman Ever by AOL users. In a related story, AOL users are retarded and/or blind (458)
AZCentral Obvious It is unknown what burglars took from Charlize Theron's home, or when it will be released to the Internet (82)
AP Strange Okay class, get out your maps and try to follow this story: An Ethiopian man being held at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba has asked the British government not to destroy CIA photographs that prove he was tortured in Morocco (72)
STLToday Obvious Drew Peterson sets up a legal defense fund so you can help him get away with murdering his wife; plans to hire the same private detectives still looking for Nicole Brown Simpson's killer (100)
MSNBC News I'll take "what's that tingling feeling in my left arm?" For $1000, Alex (189)
CNN Plug Ice storm glazes nation's midsection, doesn't offer a towel (217)
(nky.com) Cool Big Bone Lick ready to grow. "Eventually it'll come." (81)
TampaBays10.com Florida Kid, 16, uses the old "video camera in the bushes" to bust his 48-year-old female neighbor vandalizing his house, including eggs and the smearing of cat poop. Stay classy, Florida tag (118)
FARK Audio Drew on the Buckethead Show: "Wonder if you can trademark 'Jesus'" (78)
(Some Guy) Interesting Judge swears, makes obscene gesture, refers to panel moderator as "the gay black guy," then blames cough syrup for his actions (84)
(Some Guy) Asinine McDonald's starts fining its customers who don't eat fast enough (210)
(Washington Times) Scary Actual headline: Airport fingerprinting goes two-fisted (47)
ESPN Amusing U.S. sportscasters shudder at the thought of having to pronounce Fukudome (80)
NewsMax Obvious "Our research demonstrates that the ongoing rise of atmospheric CO2 has only a minor influence on climate change... attempts to control CO2 emissions are ineffective and pointless -- but very costly" (544)
(Mass Effect) Cool IGN gave "Mass Effect" a 9.4/10 rating. GameTrailers gave it a 9.6, and Popular Mechanics calls it "The best RPG to ever hit a console." Popular Mechanics? (Sponsored Link) (244)
(Yahoo) Obvious NBC offering refunds to advertisers because their shows suck and no one watches them (115)
(News Busters) Dumbass Continuing to show his commitment to The Cause, Al Gore takes the train to Oslo. His luggage, however, is not so concerned with the climate crisis (230)
(Groupthink) Stupid Following the misery inflicted on Islam by a toy bear that ended up with calls for the execution of an English woman, more Muslims are stepping forward with stories of long-suppressed emotional trauma imposed on them by so-called reality (242)
NYPost Amusing Jokes about Bill Clinton pounding more chocolate booty than Barack Obama may go over well on late night TV, but at a political fundraiser it just leads to uncomfortable silence and next-day apologies (114)
(my way) Obvious Huckabee's AIDS comments alarm Ryan White's mother. Judith Light set to star in movie about her reaction (167)
(WGAL) Spiffy Vivid Video takes on Pornotube in steamy federal court case. You just know there's going to be a hung jury (145)
(Some Guy) Obvious Today's obligatory "teacher bangs her student" story. Bonus: Story claims she's a former beauty queen (with pic) (293)
(Dailypost.co.uk) Amusing Shoplifter arrested with beer in his pants. Judges give him suspended sentence and one more chance to sort his life out. After all, he only has 71 previous convictions. (Question: Judges?) (45)
(Some Guy) Amusing Guess the plot. Article contains the words "Bowling," "Drunk," "Trailer," "Grandkids," "Shooting," "Leroy" and "Dreads." Difficulty: West Virginia (51)
Yahoo Obvious Russia's Medvedev backs Putin to become PM. Putin does his best to look surprised (104)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these stacked rocks (76)
(Some Guy) Obvious Poll finds GOP field isn’t touching voters, probably because they're not conducting the poll in men's restrooms (239)
(Spiegel Online) Amusing Slow news day in Germany: Stowaway frog in Düsseldorf, runaway cow in Itzehoe. Yes, Itzehoe (42)
UPI Amusing Philadelphia's Northeast Airport covered in foam because some kid couldn't resist pushing a big, red, candy-like button (90)
Telegraph Cool Fifty-five percent of British want to replace boring old Union Jack with a flag featuring a sunglasses-wearing, flame-haired cartoon dragon (pic) (107)
CNN Amusing Paragon of investigative journalism CNN posts a shocking article about a Facebook group for girls to post drunk pictures of themselves. If you can imagine such a thing (174)
(Big Head DC) Followup White House is saying that the teen who called Bush didn't have the president's secret number -- but news organizations have determined the White House is lying (163)
Chicago Sun-Times Stupid If Oprah went on her show tomorrow and said the ultimate key to inner peace is to pretend you're a dog, you wouldn't get through your day without somebody greeting you with a "Woof Woof" while sniffing your ankles (127)
USA Today Interesting Americans are spending more money on their pets than ever before, which has led to a breathtaking surge in turtle ownership. No, really (70)
MSNBC Obvious Yearly "new strain of flu could kill you" article. Everybody panic, or whatever (49)
(Japan Probe) Asinine Japan sleeping easier tonight after "coffee bukkake man" arrested (79)
Breitbart.com Misc Woman retaliates when dog damages her Christmas decorations. And by "retaliate", of course we mean with "gunplay" (91)
AP Scary Global warming kills 18 in the Midwest, and takes out power for 500,000 more (328)
(Some Guy) Interesting Routine traffic stop in Alberta nets RCMP officer $1,000,000 worth of marijuana. Best. Mountie. Christmas. Party. Evar (75)
Yahoo Interesting Pakistan successfully test-fires cruise missile. Could have been a scary outcome, but witnesses claim Superman redirected it into the sun (76)
London Times Obvious Funny article: American women are beautiful numbskulls, British women are charming orcs. Serious conclusion: marry Swedes (256)
(Mental Floss blog) Strange Seven historical figures who married their cousins (90)
Yahoo Cool One hundred million pennies for your thoughts (89)
The Sun Asinine British band playing Christmas carols kicked out of Tesco for ... well, if you guessed "health and safety concerns" you win the freakin' jackpot (25)
Denver Channel Dumbass Sticks & stones may break my bones, but they won't help you hold up a convenience store (8)
(Some Welse Dragon) Photoshop Photoshop Challenge: Help mediate the Wales-UK dispute over the Union Jack by designing a new flag for the United Kingdom (61)
(KATU TV-2) Sick Paramedic busted for sexually assaulting patient in ambulance on way to hospital. With studly mugshot (103)
Lancashire Evening Post Scary Man who used to drink 48 cans of lager and two bottles of brandy every day is now a virtual teetotaler - he only has 30 cans a day (97)
Kansas City Weird Restaurant offers candlelit dinners in graveyard where customers don't dare stiff waiters or ask for the cold slab special (23)
LA Times Obvious PSA: Freeways are dangerous for pedestrians. Includes some strong Darwin award nominees (40)
Canada.com Asinine Not news: 19-year old has license suspended twice for speeding, gets 10 speeding tickets and has 2 accidents. News: mother complains when premium goes up. Fark: To $100,000/year (202)
The Scotsman Hero 'Alcohol' is a new tab at Scotsman.com (41)
Guardian.com Cool U.S. Naval Academy fights booze with booze to show recruits how much fun alcohol can be. Or something. "We try to get them above that 0.08 limit if they so desire" (83)
Fox News Obvious Atlanta school board votes unanimously to ban students from wearing sagging pants that expose underwear. Wow, that was a brief statement (147)

Mon December 10, 2007
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this little cowboy (85)
(Some Guy) Amusing City councilman, Elvis impersonator to have "Blue Christmas" and a series of bad puns behind bars (20)
Local6 Amusing Giant spider attacks space shuttle (with pic goodness) (204)
Denver Channel Followup Security guard in Colorado who took down gunman was protected by God, hot (445)
(AM 640 Toronto) Asinine Vanity license plate BMB LJB denied due to interpretation that BMB = "Bite my butt" (117)
ABC News Asinine Woman is gang-raped in Iraq. Her employer, Halliburton, responds by imprisoning her for 24 hours without food or water, then "losing" evidence in her case, and now says she has no recourse except private arbitration (831)
Forbes Amusing Home sales drop almost 20 percent from last year. Guess the spintastic headline (167)
CTV Unlikely Parents say failing to search every student's lunch for eggs and peanuts is a violation of their human rights (382)
Sports by Brooks Obvious Rich Eisen highlight narration Sunday: "Ben Roethlisberger dumps one to Najeh Davenport for the score." Think Eisen knew Davenport was once caught defecating in a dorm room closet? (94)
WFTV Followup Tearful granny says she forgot she had a loaded gun on her trip to Disney (with exclusive video, photos) (128)
Fox News Amusing Sloooow news day at Fox: "Bar Staff Ask 'Old Fart' to Go Outside to Pass Gas." Bonus: In writing (115)
(TV3.co.nz) Amusing Journalists manage to plant fake bombs on airplanes. Bonus : They were wearing "Al Qaeda Airline" uniforms (80)
Homestar Runner Cool Nightlife at Club Technochocolate (68)
(FrontPage) Interesting Cynthia McKinney running for president in 2008, stealing Ron Paul's gig as the nutty one in the race (388)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this old-school dancer (70)
Sports by Brooks Dumbass ESPN apologizes for Internet poll asking if fans want to see Kevin Garnett blow out his knee (94)
CBS Sacramento Amusing Illinois governor makes endorsement. Good news: It's not Ron Paul. Bad news: It's Hannah Montana (99)
(ImpactLab) Interesting Man trapped in restroom for 100 hours freed after assuming a wide stance and tapping SOS in morse code (47)
Click On Detroit Cool If you used a credit or debit card overseas between Feb. 1996 and Nov. 2006, you can get free money (135)
(Some Guy) Followup That escaped mental patient from NJ? He has since killed himself (41)
News24 Interesting Women under 45 can't make the pilgrimage to Mecca without a male relative, those whores (158)
SLTrib Obvious Breathing Utah's air is like smoking five cigarettes a day. Worse, as with all things in Utah, there is no buzz (114)
(Drew) FarkBlog About that NSFW trademark application (364)
CNN Interesting Gore: U.S., China must lead fight against "planetary emergency." This marks the first time in ages that the words "China" and "Lead" appears without the word "Toys" following close behind (141)
CNN Amusing Fark: Baseball to groin, hilarity ensues. CNN main page: Baseball shot to groin thrills cup inventor. Really? CNN? REALLY? (72)
Chicago Tribune Scary NIU campus shut down due to threats found written on bathroom wall. Man from Nantucket sought for questioning (76)
Globe and Mail Obvious Government study says that women's car trips more circuitous than men's. Your tax dollars at work, folks (88)
(9News.com) Followup Colorado shooter identified as 24-year-old Matthew Murray from Arapahoe County, who is also apparently an incredible douchebag (457)
Breitbart.com Asinine Britain: Please please don't do anything in the least that could possibly offend Muslims. British kids: We wanna wear hoodies that cover our face like a burqa. Britain: OMG wot wot no omg terrorists and vandals innit (134)
(Craigslist) Interesting If anyone is looking for a nice place to live in the Seattle area, look no further. Selling point: "...she sell drugs too i thing beware off this house you can get hert or rob." (157)
AP Interesting United States Supreme Court rules 7-2: "Crack ain't whack, yo" (132)
(Connecticut Post) Dumbass Husband goes kite-surfing in the midde of winter on Connecticut coast. He dies. Wife lawyers up and sues town for negligence, carelessness and failure to have lifeguards on duty in the middle of winter (207)
CNN Stupid Christmas lights found with potentially unsafe levels of lead. EVERBODY PANIC (109)
(SuperBad) Video Remember all the stupid sh*t you did in high school? Yeah neither do we (Sponsored Link) (75)
Drudge Dumbass Al Gore: World savior or profiteering douchebag? You decide (770)
Space Followup Shuttle launch moved back to January so fuel sensor can be replaced a dozen times and still not work (63)
Philly Obvious Philadelphia media kept "Bonnie and Clyde of ID theft" on front page because "Bonnie" is hot stuff. And because Drew needs material for a second book (with pic) (130)
Denver Post Followup "God did not cause this to happen," says Minister of Colorado church. God's influence limited to touchdowns, passing math quizzes and the occasional Crusade (637)
SuperDeluxe Video Hillary flip flops over flip flops, proving it takes a village to serve an appetizer (144)
CBS Baltimore Weird Headlines you don't see everyday: Retail Store Not Responsible For Goose Attack (35)
(The Huffington Post) Followup Letterman repeats beating Leno repeats. NBC planning to fight back with repeat Hugh Grant interview (111)
Daily Mail Obvious Britain's reliance on speed cameras means you can do anything you like on the road as long as you stay under the speed limit. +20 points if she's in a wheelchair (49)
(NY Daily News) Strange This is the N train, N as in NC-17. Transfer here for the L as in lap dance subway. Watch the strip-club dancers on the poles. [bing bong] (117)
(Buffalo News) Obvious Nobody is really sure where the 30 gallons of liquor confiscated at one airport each month by the TSA in the War on Terror(tm) ends up (133)
(Earth Times) PSA Trader Joe's Pinjur sauce found to contain a surprising amount of tasty glass bits (51)
(Miami New Times) Florida Ever wonder where that killer weed came from? This interactive map of Florida will help you (45)
(Hot Air) Interesting Ron Paul booed at Univision Republican debate. Paulites respond that they were actually saying "boo-rito" (395)
ESPN NewsFlash Former Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick gets 23 months in prison, making him eligible to get out right around when the Raiders will be looking for another new QB (647)
CBS Philadelphia Strange Today's "escaped naked mental patient" story brought to you by New Jersey (28)
TampaBays10.com Florida Puerto Rico is dealing with a monkey infestation, so they sent them to Florida for a "study." What could possibly go wrong? (52)
(Political Wire) Interesting Oprah's endorsement seemed to be a good idea -- until the pundits decided she was better than Obama (200)
Yahoo Obvious Civic groups say U.S. has poor race record. Suggest spending less money on spoilers and ground effects, and more money on engines and nitrous (134)
Yahoo Followup Far left German pol drops charges against Wikipedia for overuse of Nazi symbols in Hitler Youth article--presumably after someone explains to her it might be nice to know what this stuff looks like, in case it ever shows up again (65)
Chicago Tribune Followup Evel Knievel's funeral to include fireworks, launching his ashes across a ravine (26)
Live Science Interesting Homosexuality can be turned on and off in fruit flies, allowing them to just be flies (418)
(ShortNews) Strange Slow news day: Man forced to continually change ringtone after parrot learns to mimic them (41)
The Sun Unlikely Jack Nicholson says he could've fathered as many as 9,000 children. The Sun is there (156)
FARK VideoEdit VideoEdit Challenge: December is the official month for year-end wrap ups and lists, so edit together Fark's 2007 highlights (84)
NYPost Dumbass Two 14-year-olds playing around on a classmate's computer learn that making a death threat against the president in the morning will get you a visit by Homeland Security in the afternoon (150)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these flexible ducts (66)
News.com.au Obvious "Baby tax needed to save planet" (454)
BBC Interesting Why your brain blocks out Britney Spears and Michael Jackson (87)
Telegraph Hero Woman quits driving after 82 years with no accidents or tickets. "I'm going to quit while I'm ahead" (69)
News.com.au Amusing Aussie advertisers would have you believe that pizza and penis size are directly related (62)
CBS Sacramento Dumbass Survivalist stockpiles cache of illegal weapons. Calls himself "Bunker Bob," yet looks like the anti-Rambo in mugshot (109)
Boston Globe Cool Principal calls assembly to alert students that swearing will not be tolerated. Bonus: She reads a list of the cuss words not to be used. Fark: She's a nun (107)
AP Interesting Bill pending in Wisconsin would require schools to teach students about labor unions (237)
(Some Guy) Ironic Scientist who claimed blacks are less intelligent than whites seems to have some black genes of his own. Ebony, meet irony (423)
BBC Obvious Some anti-drinking advertising campaigns may backfire by inadvertently glamorising the habit, say researchers (87)

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