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Sun December 16, 2007
AP Interesting Now that a Wiccan wreath has been added to the Nativity scene at Green Bay's city hall, one man wants a Festivus pole to be included as well (154)
Stuff Strange Strange things are a foot in Christchurch (61)
BBC Sad World's Oldest Person dies at 116; says that never having married a nagging wife is what kept him alive for so long (52)
(WESH) Scary "There's no reason to become alarmed, and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight. By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?" (135)
Forbes Interesting Salt Lake City tops the list as America's vainest city. I'll bet you think this headline's about you, don't you, don't you (98)
(Some Guy) Weird A list of things you never knew were poisonous. List includes the platypus, palythoa coral and the hooded pitohui - a poisonous bird (88)
(Cracked) Interesting Ten things Christians and atheists must agree on, or continue looking like prickish douchebags (751)
(Some Guy) Sad Dan Fogelberg lost his battle with cancer today (213)
CNN Spiffy It's safe to go back to Vegas now (72)
BBC Dumbass Drugs, firearms, and passports stolen from customs depot in Coventry. In other news, huge party, fireworks tonight in Coventry (20)
(NY Daily News) Sad Assistant principal jailed after running with scissors...into her boyfriend's face (39)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man gives local Burger King an additional drive-through, no charge (40)
(Some Guy) Asinine Power company breaks into woman's house to secretly change her meter because she was behind in her bills. Even though she wasn't one of their customers. And it's legal (195)
(Twin Cities.com) Cool Man builds dream pipe organ from scratch, trying to find a long, narrow church to put it in (56)
AP Followup School disciplines girl for wearing Tigger socks on the first day of school. Her family laughs it off as a big misunderstanding. Just kidding. They want $95,000 (116)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption these fine ladies having tea (62)
CNN Interesting Old and busted: gang tattoos and baggy pants. New hotness: blazers and university recruits (48)
(Blogger) Amusing "A realistic assessment of how many 12-year-olds I could beat up before they overtook me" (117)
Maxim Interesting Maxim's best and worst things to happen to men in 2007 (108)
Boston Globe Cool How to build an igloo. Steps include building an ADA approved ramp (30)
Google Ironic Dad catches son smoking pot, so he sells his $90 copy of Guitar Hero III online. Fark: for $9,000. Merry Christmas, Dad (168)
NYPost Sad Is your marriage sexless? Then you're not alone, so to speak (235)
(Some Guy) Amusing NBA player carjacked out of his 2008 Chrysler before game. Though the car was recovered two hours later, the player is despondent that the world now knows he drives a Chrysler (77)
YouTube Cool Happy 90th Birthday to Arthur C. Clarke. With a video note from the grandmaster himself (91)
(Some Guy) Strange Top 15 weird gadgets you never thought existed (95)
(QC Online) Silly On Comet, on Cupid, on Donner and ... whoa ... not so fast there Blitzen. Some Canadian woman seeks to destroy X-mas cheer (70)
Houston Chronicle Obvious "These days, working teenagers are becoming scarce." (365)
(Some Guy) Scary Winter storms putting the smack down on Northeast. You Boston Fahkahs bettah heat up some chowdah (210)
Chicago Sun-Times Dumbass Excuse me, miss. Get off your cell phone. Your car is on fire (54)
Entertainment Weekly Interesting Fifteen taboo breaking television moments (155)
Yahoo Followup Last year, two families sued a hospital in China for mixing up their twins 15 years ago. Today two families are suing a hospital in China for mixing up their twins 21 years ago (39)
(Some Old Gal) Photoshop Photoshop these playful pals (52)
(Some Atheist) Strange High priest of the New York City-based Church of Satan alerts FBI when he received an email from a high school senior threatening to kill his grandparents. Submitter isn't sure, but isn't this what Satan would want his people to do? (274)
NJ.com Obvious Jail inmates pull off elaborate escape, get busy livin', by leaving dummies in their beds and removing cinder blocks (42)
(WLBZ2.com) Unlikely Thousands of postal workers are missing paychecks this week. The check's in the mail (51)
The Scotsman Interesting It's painful enough to see boneheads ruin malt whisky with too much water; now scientists warn the distilleries themselves may have several billion gallons too much seawater added (58)
Guardian.com Obvious Porn industry being gutted as people realize they can do better with a $500 digicam, a web connection and a fake set of boobs on some whore who'll fark anyone (SFW) (178)
CBS Sacramento Sad Man, Darwin, Christmas lights, and live power lines. Darwin wins (55)
(Some Guy) Florida If you're going to deny biting your buddy, wipe the blood off your mouth before talking to police (23)
(pjstar) Sad Woman would like her stolen purse returned. Contents include money, wallet, ashes of 4-year old son (78)
News.com.au Strange "It is believed the man was harassing neighbours and passers-by while parading around in female underwear and a Santa hat" (42)
SMH Cool Ugly ass baby giraffe born at Western Plains Zoo, now needs a name (79)
Yahoo Stupid Yahoo's five sure-fire ways to pick up women. Complete with text message pointers (305)
(Some Guy) Asinine First grade teacher-of-the-year candidate comes to school drunk, vomits, abandons children on field trip, and passes out on the school bus. How else are you expected to deal with 20 six-year-olds? (75)

Sat December 15, 2007
AZCentral Amusing Arizona newspaper allowing citizens to write their own headlines. If only there was a website that allowed people to do that (55)
Daily Mail Cool Screw the turducken: here's a Christmas turkey stuffed with 12 different birds, that costs more than $1,000 and serves 125 people (pics) (116)
Fox News Obvious Israel says U.S. intelligence report on Iran not producing nukes could lead to armed conflict in the Middle East. Damned if you do, damned if you don't (190)
Guardian.com Obvious "This is the problem with early, low-stress Christmas shopping. It's dull, disappointing, and leaves you wanting more - kind of like a festive form of pre-ejaculation" (51)
Excite Obvious Even the Chinese won't buy toys made in China (79)
CNN Amusing If you and your spouse's names are Mary and Joseph, you can get a free night's stay at any Travelodge in the U.K. on Christmas eve, according to spokeswoman Shakila Ahmed (85)
News.com.au Interesting Teri Irwin is being sued for $2.5 million over two mysterious business transactions. Claims the lawsuit is a croc (63)
CNN Dumbass What do you do if a soldier becomes addicted to gambling and commits suicide? If you're a Congressman, you try to ban all soldiers from playing slot machines while overseas (98)
(Spiegel Online) Spiffy German teenager released after eight months in Turkish prison. Said he wants to see gladiator movies next (96)
(Some Guy) Amusing "As you prepare to fly off somewhere for Christmas, consider this: there is a chance your pilot once thought he was perched on the wing of his plane watching himself fly it." (61)
CBC Amusing What do you call 50 Newfoundlanders posing nude outdoors in -11 weather? (With voting for best punchline.) (Warning: small pic of naked butts) (141)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this table game (56)
SMH Stupid Just when you thought iPod accessories couldn't get any more ridiculous; presenting the iPond (animal cruelty edition) (197)
Canoe Interesting Alberta town cracks down on aggressive coyotes, bans all shipments from ACME (42)
(Some Guy) Scary "The trauma that must be felt by young children when they see Santa being pelted with beer bottles and eggs cannot be described." (41)
St. Pete Times Florida Pastor takes leave of absence to deal with his online porn addiction. It only takes submitter 5-7 minutes to deal with it every day (123)
(sympatico) Misc Man dismayed to discover that he's been dead for eight years (53)
(Some Alcoholic Artist) Amusing Best thinking man's booze ads EVAR (141)
Reuters Followup Spider-baby goes home smiling (92)
Orlando Sentinel Florida News: Man loses 250 lbs. Fark: To improve his bowling game (65)
Herald-Leader Dumbass Man blames "too much beer and whiskey" as the reason he climbed through his neighbor's window and got shot in the ass before getting arrested by police (46)
(Some NBC10) Followup Hardened criminal cocks up, gets caught pushing imported Viagra, given stiff sentence, will serve hard time (42)
The Sun Interesting British kennel worker in danger of losing limbs after being attacked by a Rottweiler that she thought was 'armless (81)
(Some Guy) Interesting The top archaelogy discoveries of the year. Paleontological remains of Jesus riding a dinosaur surprisingly not among them...YET (130)
(Times Herald Record) Hero Vails Gate, NY is home to the world's oldest barber, who's been at it for 83 years without a single - oops - whoa, that's a lot of blood (35)
Houston Chronicle Stupid Before we allow you to flee this Category 5 hurricane, we must first require that you submit a set of fingerprints to our computer, and wait a little while to see whether it is OK for you to leave. Everybody line up over there (159)
CNN Amusing Rapping monks and nuns hit the fashion catwalk. Rappin' Rabbis observing Shabbat, will be back tomorrow (36)
UPI Obvious Advertisements anger parents of autistic children, Wapner (94)
Local6 Dumbass Policeman arrested in sting operation. Do-Do -Do, De Da-Da-Da (51)
(Some Guy) Interesting Zambia shuts down radio station for "becoming a platform for confrontation, controversies and a channel of insults and misinformation." Looks like they've perfected talk radio, all right (49)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "You have got to be careful about stealing a car that close to a doughnut shop," said Chief Fred Hayes (30)
Slashdot Obvious The RIAA doesn't want the courts to even ask how its investigating the people it's accusing. Not that they have anything to hide, of course (146)
The Register Hero Activist judge rules that it's still OK in America to cuss at your toilet when it overflows. For now, anyway (43)
CNN Misc Militants fire rockets at Kabul police HQ. From a wooden cart. Police say it was a hansom effort (30)
Canoe Scary Security company Wackenhut to be replaced at all Exelon nuclear reactors after guards were found sleeping on the job, eating donuts in sector 7G (58)
SMH Cool Kitty has reached critical mass (537)
AP Obvious 300 pound man stands on a plywood platform at the top of an elevator shaft. What in the name of Sir Isaac Newton could possibly go wrong? (99)
CBS Salt Lake City Cool Burton offering $5,000 for video of someone taking giant stick out of ski resorts' asses (166)
Daily Mail Interesting Firefighters attacked by samurai sword-swinging lunatic, who seconds later discovers he's brought the wrong weapon to a firehose fight (79)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Obvious High gas prices are keeping people from moving to the suburbs (194)
Stuff Weird Old and busted: Man bites dog. New hotness: Man bites rabid duck-stealing dog (26)
(Brownsville Herald) Amusing Crossdressers stealing Christmas decorations busted in sting operation. Cops "arrested one woman and two dudes in drag" (34)
Daily Mail Interesting Argument over evolution ends with one guy being permanently excluded from it (296)
AP Spiffy Reason #69 why the Netherlands rocks: when the police find you with a hooker, they allow you to pay the ticket in cash rather than involving your wife (101)
(Bud Light) Dumbass After stealing beer from a convenience store, it's best not to back the getaway car directly into a cop car (12)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this poser (62)
Daily Mail Interesting Amsterdam police furious over new rules banning them from smoking pot while off duty (88)
CBC Hero WestJet promises parents it'll take care of 5-year-old, allows her to leave with a complete stranger, who gets a big Hero tag for Christmas (224)
(Some Guy) Obvious Cigarettes and alcohol make up 13 of the top 20 brands sold at UK supermarkets and grocery stores. Oasis predicted this (60)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man spends his days in a snow globe because some how or another that's gonna cheer people up. Ho ho (47)

Fri December 14, 2007
The Daily Press Interesting Prior to the 20th century, there was a War on Christmas conducted by Presbyterians, Baptists, Quakers, Methodists, & Congregationalists who opposed Christmas as unchristian (285)
(POPCORN!) Cool Farkers: Please help me expand my musical horizons. Anything you think is worth listening to, Id like to hear. LGT my current obsession (1031)
Seattle Times Obvious Washington Attorney General calls for stricter law to keep guns away from the mentally ill, Dick Cheney (109)
CBS New York Weird New York City spa doling out "golden facials" for $400 a pop. That's quite the money shot, King Midas (59)
(Marshalltown Times-Republican) Followup Butts found incompetent to stand trial in toilet paper theft case (33)
The Scotsman Amusing Sculpture of cow's backside that breaks wind three times-a-day fast becoming popular Scottish tourist attraction (42)
iWon Asinine Letters from Princess Diana to her lover released to public. In other news, Princess Diana still dead (75)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this pondering police woman (82)
Canoe Strange The postal service may be a little slow around the holidays, but 93 years is a little ridiculous (41)
Local6 Florida 10 year old girl brings a knife to school to cut her lunch meat. It's in Florida, so guess what she got charged with (374)
CBS New York Asinine Memo from the principal's office: "Our kids are dumb and poor, so lower your expectations accordingly. If you start passing more students, you'll get a $3,000 bonus" (223)
Canada.com Strange Purse snatching - so easy, a caveman could do it (51)
Denver Post Stupid Opening clamshell packaging without injury can involve heavy duty scissors, which often come packed in clamshell packaging (214)
Chicago Tribune Interesting What's "middle-class?" How about $100,000 a year? (664)
(It's not an emergency) Amusing Cambridgeshire police are so sick of people dialling 999 in non-emergency situations that they have released recordings of some of the most egregious examples. Including the man who rang 999 to ask what date it was (86)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sheriff orders jail cells painted pink with purple bars. Handcuffs with fake red fur and latex uniforms on order (59)
TampaBays10.com Florida Woman arrested for drugs apparently loved by sluts, according to her t-shirt that is. With mug shot goodness (132)
STLToday Hero Principal to student with droopy trousers, a sideways hat, and a shiny grill on his teeth: "You're no gangster. If I dropped you off at the projects where the real gangs are, you wouldn't last 10 minutes" (542)
MSNBC Sappy Family of slain Marine gets dog for Christmas: Lex, their son's partner in Iraq (217)
Boston Globe Dumbass Drunk driver might have attracted a bit less attention to himself if he wasn't the fire chief, especially if he wasn't driving the fire truck up and down the street with the lights and siren blaring (47)
ABC News Interesting A rundown of which airports you should not trust your baggage to, particularly if you're carrying gold bouillon or Rolexes in your luggage (89)
(Frostfire Zoo) Cool One of the coolest photos you'll see today. Look, read the caption (in comic sans...sigh), then look again (151)
The Register Scary Man contracts anthrax from banging on his drum all day. Todd Rundgren last seen washing his hands (46)
Chicago Tribune Misc Norwegian parking-sticker payment machine takes a page right out of "Office Space" (64)
Local6 Florida "Santa Claus Hates You" T-shirts selling like hotcakes. Bonus: He's flippin' the bird, too (87)
(Some Guy) PSA Georgia may get snow this weekend. EVERYBODY PANIC (141)
iWon Silly Poster of actress Bette Davis sells for $70,000. Buyer complains poster pushed her down stairs (52)
Local6 PSA Ten drinks men should never order (595)
Yahoo Dumbass Columnist says Western society is more sexually oppressive than Muslim societies because Muslim women WANT to wear burkas (154)
SuperDeluxe Video Wiggles alert: The leading children's dance along rainbow foursome has some competition. And they've got an exotic dancer (84)
CBS Philadelphia Interesting Rules to ordering a cheese steak in Philadelphia: 1) Wit. 2) Wit Whiz. 3) Wit Out. 4) Speak English (306)
(Some Cocoa Sampler) Survey Hot cocoa sampler box: What did you get from your company this year? (898)
11 Alive Dumbass You know your parking skills suck when you end up parking 60 feet in the air (93)
Yahoo Weird Older and bolder: Japanese people over 65 do more shoplifting (26)
Yahoo Interesting Latvian president names a transformer to be prime minister. Godmanis -- more than meets the eye (35)
Breitbart.com PSA New Zealand cops are not football players. They do not appreciate having their bottoms smacked when they do a good job (31)
ABC 2 Asinine All I want for Christmas is... four bags of coke delivered in my Christmas cards (45)
Daily Mail Asinine Not news: Student sent out of class for wearing offensive clothing. Fark: It's the fabric softener that the teacher finds offensive (146)
UPI Obvious Alcohol makes Aussies happier, healthier, drunkier (29)
Fox News Obvious Ridiculously obvious sex studies of 2007 (149)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this angry old woman (64)
News.com.au Amusing A drunken man urinating through a fence got a nasty surprise when he didn't notice the playful puppy there (229)
(wigantoday) Weird Back-from-dead canoeist has nothing on this guy. Try living under the floorboards in your own living room while your six kids dance about on top of you for seven Farking years. Oh, and he wore his wife's clothes too (122)
Boston Herald Dumbass Massachusetts governor: "Everybody get out of Boston, it's gonna snow." Everybody rushes onto unplowed highway and gets stuck in storm for four hours (348)
SFGate Dumbass Step 1: Make fake official-looking tickets. Step 2: Place on cars and wait for the money. Step 3: ...whoops (34)
News.com.au Amusing "Police officers driving the van noticed the prisoners had escaped when a passing motorist alerted them the back door was open." Thats some fine police work, Lou (12)
Google News Mass shooting in Nagasaki (353)
(Drinkies!) Interesting LAST CALL: D.C. Fark Party, 7:00 pm this Saturday. LGT Venue (142)
Fox News Obvious Tip of the day: If you find a prospective surrogate mother on the Interweb, don't send sperm and money to her. Well, at least not money. It's probably a scam (34)
(Some T'fette) Caption Caption this duet (68)
(The Local) Scary Burning hemorrhoids given a whole new definition (57)
(Some Tuna) Strange The world of competitive fish tossing will never be the same as officials replace tuna with replicas (31)
The Sun Hero Brewery launches new beer with all proceeds from its sales going to help soldiers wounded in Iraq. Submitter will drink to that (57)
Daily Mail Strange Couple's nightmare as travellers attack them 230 times and leave beheaded squirrel on doorstep. The perpetrators: Pikeys. Brad Pitt available for comment, but you can't understand what he's saying (120)
Sky News Ironic Man selling soul on eBay for $1 millon so he can have Christmas money (82)
MSNBC Followup Lisa Nowak's emails to William Oefelein were just as lurid as you would expect of two people who worked for NASA. "I put on my robe and wizard hat..." (56)
Yahoo Asinine House passes bill to ban CIA waterboarding torture. Since our administration and secret agencies always obey the law, consider this issue settled (644)
Guardian.com Interesting Brits try to fool government into thinking they're drinking less than they are by swilling booze from larger glasses (26)
(Some Guy) Stupid "2008 . . . What a trip" is just one of several t-shirt messages stirring up controversy at one high school (72)
The Sun Interesting RAF declares war on Golden Gate bridge (w/ pic that will have you hitting 'Eject') (187)
News.com.au Dumbass British army is losing a battalion a year - not to fighting, but to illegal drugs (32)
Sky.com Sappy Ugly swan named 'Crinkly' finds love after seven years alone. There's still hope for you (pic) (50)
(Some T'fette) Photoshop Photoshop these dancers (43)
The Sun Obvious No matter your intentions, you should not put down a sick cow at a Hindu temple (81)
News.com.au Florida Robber sets fire to two women (one pregnant), shoots guy in the nose who tried to help them (147)
Canoe Strange "Dear Santa: I'd like a pony, a Barbie doll and some new clothes" "Dear Kid: Go f*ck yourself, Love Santa" (105)

Thu December 13, 2007
Stuff Strange Dear Diary: I went on a camping trip this weekend with my friends. We hoped to see wildlife but instead saw a man who got drunk, masturbated, was beaten by his friends, and was then arrested. We also made Smores (43)
(NewsDaily.com) Interesting Doctor: You're fat. Patient: I want a second opinion. Doctor: Your breath stinks, too (89)
(KTVB) Amusing Man appears on two front page newspaper photos - one as a robbery suspect; gets busted (52)
WPXI Strange "He sneaked into the locker room two previous times and took a pair of jeans, a shirt and a bra, drove around for an hour or so, and then returned the items" (56)
(Some Guy) Amusing Catholic school principal resigns after he's discovered in an alley dressed as a woman, drinking cherry cola (160)
CBS Miami Florida Ten men pay one woman to marry them. And no, she's not that hot. But she is legal (123)
CSMonitor Obvious Nevada voters preparing for 2008 caucuses have to ask themselves a critical political question: "Do I prefer Snickers or Milky Way? And what's up with those freaks who prefer Red Vines?" (53)
(Winona Daily News) Stupid Not the best excuse to leave your kid in the car while running into Target: "She didn't want him to know she was a stripper" (60)