| (Some Guy) | Milk is the new oil | (23) | |
| The hunt for the 7 Missing Wonders of the world is on. Items include the Holy Grail, Amelia Earhart's plane, Lindsay Lohan's panties | (45) | ||
| (Long War Journal) | Pakistan releases Taliban high commanders. This should end well | (153) | |
| Connecticut class creates a working historical sub. However, some things don't react well to bullets | (53) | ||
| Nanny State police categorize 40 percent of crime in Britain "unsolvable" within hours of it being reported, and are so good at their jobs that they can do it without ever visiting the scene or talking to any victims or witnesses | (74) | ||
| (The Age) | Coming soon to YouTube, video of street racers' cars being destroyed by the police | (67) | |
| (Riverfront Times) | Naked and resisting arrest at a concert? That's a tasing, bro. Bonus quote: "He was tased in the ass for a prolonged period of time" | (24) | |
| (vanityfair.com) | The damage done to the American economy does not make front-page headlines every day, but the repercussions will be felt beyond the lifetime of anyone reading this page | (212) | |
| 90 years of battlefield photos | (81) | ||
| Woman, after being refused entrance to New England Patriot's practice, cries "Havoc" and lets slip the dogs of vehicular assault | (27) | ||
| (WV Record) | 2 Drinks $30 + Lapdance $30 = $16,000. Only in West Virginia | (63) | |
| Deputy chairperson disputes wrongdoing after being caught outside the door of the executive secretary during a business trip. Claims that he was just sleepwalking. Naked | (18) | ||
| Note to St. Louis public schools: "Break a leg, kid" is an old show business saying. And it definitely doesn't mean you should send a kid with a real broken leg home on a school bus | (75) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Groom too drunk to wed so the bride married the groom's more sober brother instead | (59) | |
| "Tantrums, casual sex and useless £12,000 therapy: what REALLY goes on inside rehab" | (118) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Twenty years ago this weekend, some guy saw something odd flying outside his yard, and suddenly Gulf Breeze, Florida became nation's hottest UFO hotbed (w/ pics) | (74) | |
| Photoshop this sea urchin | (77) | ||
| (Victoria Advocate) | Old timer pens creepy letter to the editor with claim that seeing women astronauts on TV causes little girls to fling their Pampers at each other. What ever happened to girls wanting to be good Christian wives and mothers? | (73) | |
| Robbers armed with pistils take an 80-year-old woman for her life savings | (95) | ||
| Seattle couple collects old answering-machine cassettes and mixtapes from the 1980s and 1990s, hopes to become the "Smithsonian of found sound" | (43) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Confused man with one shoe found covered in salad dressing at D/FW airport. Alcohol was a factor | (35) | |
| "Islamic Car" unveiled. Features include compass to Mecca, space to keep a Koran headscarf, built-in suicide bomb | (258) | ||
| Buckling to conservative pressure, Google unveils new Veterans Day logo | (411) | ||
| (WLBZ2.com) | Paper mill gives 4 to 12 weeks pay as severance package. Union says that's not enough... which is pretty much the kind of thinking that got them there in the first place | (115) | |
| Disney sued for banning Segways used by the disabled. That's just goofy | (130) | ||
| Study finds physical effects of anger last seven days. By the way, Radiohead sucks, George Bush is America's first philosopher king, Firefox is for losers and soccer is a much finer game than American Armoured Wankball. See you in a week | (302) | ||
| (Centre Daily Times) | Environmental screwup in building road costs Pennsylvania taxpayers $79 million | (30) | |
| (Some Guy) | Botnet owner faces 60 years in prison and a $1.75 million fine | (64) | |
| Uglyass house-trained baby bear needs a new home. With pics, of course | (25) | ||
| Actual headline: "Police: head found, possibly that of homicide victim". Possibly? That's some fine detective work there, Lou | (97) | ||
| Coffee shops discriminate against women by making them wait longer - It's a fact - Well... unless you read to the end of the study where the researcher just can't seem to make up her mind what the results mean | (176) | ||
| At least $500,000 was raised for the legal defense of the Jena 6. Would you like to know how the money was spent? The attorneys, who complain they're being stiffed, would too | (322) | ||
| As if we needed more proof Japan is crazy. They've created a road that plays a song when you drive on it | (108) | ||
| (Some dumb college kid(s)) | Wisconsin bill would have all cigarettes extinguish themselves if not being smoked. In other news, ashtrays no longer work | (73) | |
| (SunHerald.com) | Today is Veterans' Day. Thank the veterans you know for their service | (387) | |
| Guess what state is now arresting jaywalkers? | (68) | ||
| (DUI Blog) | California police officers are instructed to commit perjury in DUI cases, testifying about a fictional typical DUI arrest instead of bothering to record or remember the true facts of the case | (119) | |
| Top intelligence official testifies Americans need to change their definition of privacy to what government says it is | (132) | ||
| (SunJournal.com) | Top ten things to stop doing in your 20's. Missing from the list: Blaming everyone else for your problems | (251) | |
| (Some Guy) | Photoshop this family on the move | (65) | |
| British bishop backs brothels | (45) | ||
| (Some deckhead) | New system developed by IBM can manage itself, heal itself, pass Voight-Kampff test | (115) | |
| Cashews sold as part of Girl Scouts fundraising come with bonus metal shavings. Sales of Do-Si-Dioxins and Polonium Butter Patties still brisk | (22) | ||
| Boy suspended when ghost costume is mistaken for KKK robes. "The boy has friends who are black" | (138) | ||
| AIDS vaccine shown not to work, makes patients more susceptible to HIV. Fark needs a "you're doing it wrong" tag | (73) | ||
| (Anorak) | Today's lesson from the Book of Duderonomy: Any brother who layeth the night with a nun shall awaken in the morning with candle in his penis. Amen | (64) | |
| Candlelight vigil for accident drowning victims turns into riot after survivors show up | (66) | ||
| There are now three things certain in life: death, taxes, and a steady stream of Republicans soliciting sex in bathrooms | (245) | ||
| (Bowling Green Daily News) | Mike Hunt donates $200,000 to women's scholarship program | (130) | |
| British troops have been warned not to post personal details on internet websites amid fears that they will be targeted by British-based al-Qaeda terrorists bent on enlarging their penises | (31) | ||
| Thai police arrest serial killer of seven sleeping security guards. Turns out it was a fellow security guard who "hates guards who fall asleep on the job and don't perform their duty" | (36) | ||
| Los Angeles school teachers asked to pay back the $53 million they were overpaid by their school district | (92) | ||
| 70-year-old man robs bank with 50-year-old gun; now faces life in prison, which will be about five months | (32) | ||
| British supermarkets are selling beer at a cheaper price than water | (77) | ||
| (some old fart) | Virtual Lite-Brite | (144) | |
| (Some Guy) | Improve this old album cover | (94) | |
| Health insurer sets goals and pays bonuses based on how many policyholders are dropped | (262) |
| US has one of the worst infant mortality rates in the first world. On the bright side, it's not like we pay a lot more for medicine than the rest of the world | (301) | ||
| (9News) | Cement truck crashes through wall of yoga studio. OH YEAH! | (59) | |
| Residents pick Carrabba's Italian Grill as "best ethnic restaurant" in county. Bonus: Article uses this to brag about their diversity | (143) | ||
| (Ohio.com) | Already this year, 25 million Americans have had background checks by the federal government, a number that's risen every year since the 9/11 terrorist attacks | (180) | |
| Man admits making 15,000 harassing calls to women, asking them to take their underwear off. Will now spend most of his time trying to keep his underwear on | (43) | ||
| Bank manager gives woman loans in exchange for sex. Jailarity ensues | (48) | ||
| (insidebayarea.com) | Three-alarm fire uncovers massive pot-growing operation in adjacent warehouse, intense desire to consume Doritos | (36) | |
| Spanish king tells Venezuela's Chavez to shut his whore mouth while men are talking | (332) | ||
| (Anchorage Daily News) | Stealing candy from a kid? Not as easy as one would think. In fact, these women resorted to armed robbery | (19) | |
| (Some Guy) | Meet area 51's secret sister area 52. This is where they keep the REALLY fun stuff | (105) | |
| Behold..the HaHa guy's final resting place | (256) | ||
| Where would you expect to find a dead body? A) Graveyard B) Funeral parlor C) Body shop | (21) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Guy takes argument with buddies to serious extremes. "Agree with me or I will turn yellow and die" Dude, Darwin is calling | (53) | |
| (Some Guy) | Photoshop Challenge: Assemble something from these parts | (76) | |
| If you post binge drinking pictures to Facebook and say "we are not ashamed" you have an excellent chance of becoming a poster child for druken slobs everywhere. SAMANTHAAAAAAAAA JENKINS w/ pics | (204) | ||
| (Pal-Item) | Man loses local election by a single vote, then finds out that his wife didn't even bother to vote. Awkward | (47) | |
| Man hires hit man, discovers that "I'll pay you double to kill the guy who hired you" works quite well in real life | (43) | ||
| "Mr. Toilet" builds world's largest commode as his house. Ty-D-Bowl Man blue with jealousy | (31) | ||
| Website encourages road ragers to post license plate numbers and pics of bad drivers. What could possibly go wrong? | (69) | ||
| Suitcase nukes unlikely to exist. Jack Bauer shakes head disapprovingly | (126) | ||
| Hispanics don't hold their alcohol well. They tend to be macho and a knife is their favorite weapon. That's all according to a Maryland State Police training document | (157) | ||
| After cop's fourth wife mysteriously disappears, investigators start thinking that the bloody and bruised body of his third wife maybe wasn't such an accident after all | (53) | ||
| China, worried we're catching on, temporarily suspends shipping poisoned toys throughout the world | (37) | ||
| 3 killed in a China shop stampede. No bull | (36) | ||
| (Some Gazette) | Leaders from many faiths get together to discuss the story of Noah. It's not Jews, it's ark | (178) | |
| Guy who has never played "Manhunt 2" says it's no threat to society because it's too lame. Well, it's certainly no threat to society, but it's certainly not lame. Go write about global warming or something bud | (129) | ||
| (Saturday Gazette Mail) | Group to learn firsthand about homelessness by enjoying concert & outdoor movie, then camping out for one night in city park surrounded by security officers and portapotties | (67) | |
| Feløny chårges drøpped ågåinst jøggers who cåused a håzmåt scåre in New Haven, CT åfter IKEA øver-reåcted | (94) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Lawyer asks Judge to allow his client to become drunk to demonstrate that he is capable of driving while under the influence of alcohol | (138) | |
| (Post-Gazette) | Christmas comes early for zoo polar bears as wild deer jumps in their pen. Includes video | (72) | |
| Massachusetts governor wants to imprison residents who participate in evil online gambling instead of spending their money in casinos where the state will get a piece of the action | (42) | ||
| This is why the Asinine tag exists: parking rage "fight" between a dentist, a woman half his height, and her smallish brother too(w/video) | (112) | ||
| (Some SDSU Guy) | Feminists hold bake sale on college campus and charge white males more for same goods | (690) | |
| (Some Guy) | Spaniard sells invisible friend on eBay | (61) | |
| (Some Guy) | Chicago's Marina City, tired of all the paparazzi, proposes photography ban citing "common law copyright under current state and federal law." | (42) | |
| (Billy Mack) | ♪♫ Go On, take the monkey and run ♪♫ | (35) | |
| (MaineToday.com) | "The city wound up paying $135,000 for the resulting matted mounds of grass and nine half-inch-thick panels of serrated stainless steel." Welcome to the world of art | (63) | |
| (Palm Beach Post) | Riviera Beach has the solution to teen crime: lock 'em all up every night | (71) | |
| Media helpfully links school shooting plots to MySpace "cyber school for killers" | (34) | ||
| (Some Perv) | Head cheerleader's mother arrested on suspicion of molesting a 14-year-old football player. Down...set...slut, slut, slut HIKE | (77) | |
| Japanese hospital's anonymous baby drop-off hatch has saved 8 babies in its 6 months of operation | (60) | ||
| Romero of the Great White North discovers that sometimes Chinese signs are not translated into English well | (42) | ||
| (pjstar) | Girl who was kicked out of school for maroon highlights in her hair is allowed to return to school just in time for her lawyers to play the race card | (85) | |
| (Metro.co.uk) | Factory worker has been found dead, buried under a pile of peanuts. No word if he had been a-salted | (53) | |
| Fed wants to raise cigarette tax to $1. What happened to the right to self abuse? | (202) | ||
| (Nationmedia) | "Baby boomers have disrupted every aspect of society and the worst is yet to come" | (130) | |
| (My Fox Tampa Bay) | School principal says students are too young to learn about peace, bans peace banner | (116) | |
| (Some Guy) | Newest poll results: Majority of Americans support civil unions for lesbian and gay couples. Fabulous | (174) | |
| (MaineToday.com) | Two AWOL Marines charged with illegally shooting three moose, or meese, or mooses. Mice? | (65) | |
| (Some Guy) | Photoshop this young punk | (66) | |
| (The Local) | Father and son blame each other for egging pensioners. Despite scrambled stories, both fined after cracking under questioning | (17) | |
| "Fellas, it's been good to know ya." 32 years ago today, the Edmund Fitzgerald was lost. Gordon Lightfoot says it all | (137) | ||
| Pulitzer Prize winner Norman Mailer, the macho prince of American letters, dead at 84 | (79) | ||
| (The Argus) | Mannequin sex, "lewd though it may be, does not fall within the purview of the indecent exposure statute." | (46) | |
| "...Richardsson filled his time on stage by invoking everything from ninjas to lolcats to Technoviking..." I can haz Mac geeks? (Yes, this is your Caturday thread) | (377) | ||
| (KFI News) | If you're in LA, you can longer say the "n word." First Amendment unavailable for comment | (196) | |
| (Some WM) | The time: November 10, 1775. The place: Tun Tavern, Philadelphia. The who: The Few. The Proud. The Marines. | (266) | |
| Ingredients for salad dressing found in 2,400-year-old Greek shipwreck....No doubt they were tossing salads | (14) | ||
| Uncle Jesse says: when going to jail, make sure your hair is perfect | (123) | ||
| Nanny State update: War veterans' fury after Remembrance Day services scrapped by health and safety killjoys | (40) | ||
| Submitter would come up with a clever headline, but it's a British TV show that convinces women to take off their shirts to see how well their bras fit and it has pics, so the hell with it (possibly Not safe for work pics) | (76) | ||
| Calamity Jane's pistol to be auctioned this weekend. You know who else's pistol to be auctioned? Pancho Villa's | (28) | ||
| First 450 people who show up at Cleveland's convention centre this Saturday with a working handgun will get a $100 gas card. The first person to think this through will get $45,000 in gas cards | (107) | ||
| Led Zeppelin are about to break the record for the most expensive concert tickets in British history. The Sun is there | (65) | ||
| A whites-only bathroom in Georgia? How did we get back to 1967? | (156) | ||
| Hackers force Rhode Island to temporarily shut down its website, potentially affecting dozens of people | (22) | ||
| Officials confirm Biologist officially died of The Plague although official tests aren't official. The Official spoke anonymously because an official statement hasn't officially been released by official officials | (46) | ||
| (gimme a hug) | Texas school district mounts full-frontal assault on hugging, enacts ban. Students fail to embrace policy | (134) |
| Photoshop this red face | (80) | ||
| (World Net Daily) | Live in HUD housing? No Jesus for you | (230) | |
| (Gothamist) | Maple syrup smell back in NYC | (63) | |
| Da Vinci's "Last Supper" has coded 'soundtrack.' Hits include "Danger Zone" and "I Will Always Love You" | (106) | ||
| From the you-can't-make-this-stuff-up department: "Woman Torches Ex's Mounted Bison Head" | (40) | ||
| (Some chopped up dude) | Way number 2,678 you do not want to die | (133) | |
| If you've been waiting for somebody to release a kosher ham soda, your wait is over | (61) | ||
| The first rule of Kidnapping Club is take away your victim's cell phone. The second rule of Kidnapping Club is don't talk about how stupid of a kidnapper you are | (38) | ||
| Why are those screenwriters on strike? Answer here | (332) | ||
| Chief of LAPD thinks effort to map muslim areas of the city should be thought of as "community engagement" and not racial profiling | (137) | ||
| (Some Guy) | Teachers post a traffic signal in the cafeteria that switches from green to yellow to red as the decibels rise. Naturally, some parents object. "Now you've got the kids like Pavlovian dogs, watching this light" | (137) | |
| Skinny-dipping club claims civil rights shrinkage, wins case due to legal wrinkle; will be allowed to organize nude swims at public pool | (39) | ||
| (Idaho Statesman) | We've all seen the stories of parents being charged with injury to a child for having houses filled with pet feces. This woman raises the ante by including a partial elk carcass. With dirty-faced mug shot | (95) | |
| 65-year old woman robs gas station to buy gas. Welcome to the future | (43) | ||
| (ksdk) | Police evict people from wrong house. That's some nice police work there, Lou | (57) | |
| Florida backs out of water deal with Georgia after getting cut off like husband on losing end of argument | (38) | ||
| (creativeloafing) | The Internet's newest douchebag is back whining about his ruined reputation | (1209) | |
| (Some Guy) | 51,000 sunglasses from China recalled, the Friday lead trifecta now in play | (60) | |
| (NBC5) | Godless substitute 5th grade teacher tells students that their toothpaste has rat poison, that sugar is cocaine, and don't call her "miss" because that means prostitute | (158) | |
| (CityNews) | Section of downtown Toronto shut down for suspicious package... which turns out to be an alarm clock | (73) | |
| Autopsy reveals what everyone already knew: that NYC woman who died while in police custody at the Phoenix airport strangled herself | (254) | ||
| Cities overwhelmed with requests for parking ticket hearings solve problem by outlawing hearings | (106) | ||
| (Nature dot com) | Rush Limbaugh falls for hoax paper that blames nature for global warming. Nice research work there, El Rushbo | (359) | |
| Confirming that the lottery is a tax on the stupid, scratch tickets withdrawn because customers couldn't understand them | (136) | ||
| Businesses are adopting e-mail-free Fridays to cut back on information overload and encourage direct communication. This idea brough to you by technologically-impaired workforce geezers | (149) | ||
| (Some Denver Farker) | Attention Denver Farkers: Mini-Fark Party at Public House tonight from 6:00pm-10:00pm (open bar for $10) | (89) | |
| Former Arizona governor making UFO documentary. I want to believe | (88) | ||
| (C & G News) | Today's teacher/student scandal: 17-year-old stud bags and brags. Bonus: she was his French teacher. (With ooh-la-la picture, including the come-hither crazy eye) | (232) | |
| (Some Whacko Moonbat) | VP Cheney secretly ordered a nuclear strike against Iran. With lots of BOLD text to make article even more ominous | (185) | |
| (Some Guy) | A Russian company has made a device which it says allows retailers to sell draught beer easily from stores | (66) | |
| Another day, another 175,000 lead-tainted Chinese toys recalled | (59) | ||
| Taco Bell fires 30-year employee, apparently concerned they would have to pay her retirement in $2 bills | (284) | ||
| Disney insists that they were planning to overhaul "It's A Small World" anyway, recent incidents of fat tourists causing the boats to get stuck is just a coincidence | (100) | ||
| Dear Western states: If you think you're going to solve your water problems with the Great Lakes, prepare for Civil War. Love, Michigan | (758) | ||
| (Canon) | ♫ "Battle of the viral video stars" ♪ (Sponsored Link) | (24) | |
| Woman was so upset that someone stole her $4 pumpkin, she wrote a threatening note to the public, walked through town with a large knife and pinned the note to the town's message board | (39) | ||
| Texas may be in violation of the ADA for providing "state services" in establishments that allow smoking. In other news, lottery tickets are considered to be state services | (97) | ||
| Pretty ridiculous: internet site offering Hannah Montana concert ticket for equivalent of $24,000. Also ridiculous: normal price of Hannah Montana tickets is $240 | (221) | ||
| Todays conveniently timed explosion and fire at a US oil refinery brought to you by Port Arthur, TX. Magic 8 Ball seen clocking out early and headed home for weekend as it is pretty sure we already know what will happen | (119) | ||
| Funny: forgetting to close your gas tank lid. Fail: Forgetting to take the gas nozzle out and driving off. Fark: Forgetting your car completely after paying for gas and walking home | (75) | ||
| (Tommy Condons) | Reminder: Charleston Fark party tomorrow 7pm... LGT venue, y'all | (57) | |
| Nanny State police order two-year-old girl to pay fine after speed camera clocks her driving 65mph in a 40mph zone or go to court | (61) | ||
| (ars technica) | Having won the wars on terrorism and drugs, locked up all the pedophiles, murderers and bank robbers, Congress wants DOJ to prosecute file sharers individually | (449) | |
| (www.caller.com) |