Sun October 07, 2007
| (Some Dollar Bill) |  |
Ovulating strippers get better tips. Here comes the science | (63) |
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The real Charles Schultz: Crabbier than Lucy, more competitive than Peppermint Patty, and far more bitter than Charlie Brown | (87) |
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Gang break into Paris art museum, nothing stolen but they left an impression on a Monet | (82) |
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What do you get when you cross a sickle, a brick, and a push lawnmower? One heck of a birthday party | (37) |
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E·piph·a·ny n. - 1. A an illuminating discovery, realization, or disclosure. - 'The new owner of EMI had an epiphany and realized that recorded music industry needs to embrace digital or die.' | (67) |
| (WAOI .com) |  |
After years of Fark headlines telling her what dogs want, to stay off lawns, and complaining there's still no cure for cancer, teen does all three at once and invents cure for dog cancer | (113) |
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Police launch frantic air and sea search for missing boater whose wrecked vessel washed ashore, locate him several hours later. At his mom's house. Drunk. Lying on the sofa | (28) |
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Crazed shirtless man barges into BBQ restaurant kitchen, grabs several long knives, goes back out into street, knocks down elderly woman with running tackle and stabs her, gets shot by cop at point-blank range. Ta-daa | (98) |
| (Pensacola News Journal) | |
Barktoberfest. Doggy Halloween. I Shih Tzu not | (97) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Actual headline: "MILF cautions against 'witch-hunting.'" | (104) |
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Chicago marathon cancelled with one death and 302 hospitalized | (177) |
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17-year-old student arrested for possessing a copy of the "Anarchists' Cookbook" | (328) |
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Man faces 30 yrs to life for stealing a 52 cent doughnut | (307) |
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Stinky feet led to Houston man's fatal stabbing | (65) |
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From the maker of such hits as “The Air is Safe at Ground Zero” and “Pay No Attention to Those Dead Fish,” the EPA brings you “Methyl Iodide: It Won’t Cause Cancer, Really” | (46) |
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10-year-old boy leads police on a 44 mile long chase at about 25 mph in a stolen school bus. Sandra Bullock unavailable for comment | (33) |
| (Wausau Daily Herald) | |
Hmoob lubneej tseem tswj cov raug tsimtxom | (233) |
| (WTMJ) |  |
At least six people dead in Wisconsin, cop may be the killer | (246) |
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♫ Greeeeen Acres is the place to be / Farm calendar for charity / Shows naked farmers and their wives / Keep the parents, just show me their daughters' hides ♫ | (39) |
| (Some Burning Man) |  |
Photoshop the Big Rig Jig | (49) |
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Nigeria initially denies Bill Gates' application for a visa stating that he had to prove that he would not reside in Nigeria indefinitely, causing a strain on social services and a general nuisance for immigration | (45) |
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Bush fondly remembers times as Texas Governor, attempts to halt execution. Wait, what? | (195) |
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Photoshop this baby lemur | (70) |
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All those walruses washed up on the Alaskan shore due to melting sea ice... nope, nothing to worry about, no global warming, just a liberal attack on science, move along | (226) |
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Elderly Southern man fights to continue honor of Confederate flag, which draped his grandfather's coffin (w/ somewhat surprising pic) | (356) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this man and his puppet | (64) |
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Baltimore's near-record streak of days without a murder shot down at 7 | (110) |
| (KPRC) | |
Middle school students caught having sex in middle of occupied classroom. Film at 11 | (143) |
| (Some Tfette) |  |
Caption these excited freaks | (76) |
| (Some Sad Submitter) | |
The most powerful image you will see today | (478) |
| (Subby's fave) |  |
Which TV family's home had the best layout? | (307) |
| (God Calling) |  |
Scandal at Oral Roberts University includes private jets, luxury cars, and the dean's wife texting "underage males" asking if they want to show her their cucumber | (137) |
| (Some Guy) | |
When being arrested, giving the officer a "Wet Willie" isn't going to help matters | (43) |
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Ohio couple marries in lawn & garden section at Wal-Mart. Their first date was in the furniture department. The couple have plans for a week long honeymoon at Sam's Club | (94) |
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An enterprising young chap conned the British Royal Navy into subsidising his "football club" which then proceeded to go on a 2 week orgy involving booze and young girls. Nicely done, guvnah | (28) |
Sat October 06, 2007
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Zimbabwe is running out of food, so the government takes swift action by prosecuting 10 white farmers for growing crops on their land | (238) |
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U.S. troops "being force-fed Christianity." Suck it, atheists | (784) |
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Tobacco industry accused of "stealth marketing" smooth, sweet cigarettes (that make you 40% cooler to the opposite sex) on social networking websites | (106) |
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"Police arrest 83 people after protesters poured a bucket filled with fake blood and dismembered baby dolls onto the street." Just another Columbus Day parade in Denver | (69) |
| (Montgomery Advertiser) | |
I'll take Embarrassing Autopsy Reports for $1000, Alex | (153) |
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Ugly-ass baby dolphin calved in Rimini, Italy. With great, cute-ass pics | (55) |
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Disco ball falls on woman's head. Victim: "I will survive", hopes lawsuit-larity will help to turn the beat around | (73) |
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Rhode Island's cunning plan to treat 17 year olds as adults in the court system is actually costing more, confusing the court system, and sending kids who would have been sent home before off to be fresh fish for the night in PMITA prison | (117) |
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As there is apparently no news left in the world. TIME magazine features a story about the amazingly modern notion of men being able to change diapers, do laundry | (83) |
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US Judge orders Iran to pay $2.65B to families of 83 Beirut bombing. Ahmadinejad pauses from searching for homosexuals to comment, "Good luck collecting. Suck it world" | (192) |
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Scientists, with obviously nothing better to do, have come up with a new currency designed to be used by inter-planetary travellers | (124) |
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Man ends 13 year journey around the world using only the power of the human body. FTA:"The 16-leg journey included hiking, kayaking, mountain biking and hiking." | (97) |
| (NewsMessenger) | |
Family knows how to party for Halloween: "...they'd see as many as 50 children standing in a heavy fog drinking blood, eating bugs and wandering around a picnic table covered with pickle jars filled with real cow organs." | (58) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop these girls jumping on their bed | (76) |
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Judge blocks required background checks of scientists at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory. It's almost as if these rocket scientists had something to hide | (80) |
| (Sentinel and Enterprise) | |
School invites parents to wine tasting. Or as they say in Massachusetts, school attempts to turn innocent children into drug addicts | (93) |
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Youths of unspecified religious affiliation attack police and riot in France | (139) |
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Museum's best-selling T-shirt, featuring native Americans, is removed from shelves after one namby-pamby complains | (198) |
| (kfor.com) |  |
Miss America Lauren Nelson, who advocates safe online surfing, introduces kid safe browser | (83) |
| (What Car?) | |
Man bills £4000 to insurance after gay peacock "sexually attacks" his employee's Lexus, advises other employees not to bring their sexy blue cars into the estate | (35) |
| (Bloomberg) | |
CIA certifies that Pervez Musharaf has won a majority of votes in Pakistani presidential election | (225) |
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What's the next car company the UAW is bound and determind to take down with them? If you picked Chrysler, you win the office pool | (144) |
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If you see Alberto the møøse, Calgary Zoo would like him back before the impending start of møøse hunting season | (49) |
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War? Old news. Lying cheating politicians? Snore. Strike at the bacon factory? STOP THE PRESSES | (63) |
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Three-year-old survives eleven days in Amazon jungle. Rumored to have been aided by panther and goofy singing bear | (57) |
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"We got more information out of a German general with a game of chess or Ping-Pong than they do today, with their torture" | (469) |
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There are a lot of dumb judges out there, but this one is so bad the upper court sent him back to judicial school | (21) |
| (AutoExpress) |  |
Having solved all other crimes, UK initiates crackdown on license plates that use the Comic Sans font | (67) |
| (Some Cat Lover) | |
To help with your lolcat creation, here's a handy tree chart. Oh, and for this Caturday, voting has been enabled | (678) |
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77-year-old psychic, wanted for fraud, uses her amazing powers to evade capture by police. Just kidding, they found her hiding under a blanket in a closet | (45) |
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Emus, sloths, and squirrel monkeys now classed as "household pets" in Britain, but you're still gonna need a license for your pack of dingos | (35) |
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Only survivor from Congo air crash that's killed 51 is the mechanic | (46) |
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Photoshop this robot and girl | (62) |
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Replica of the Wright Brothers plane crashes during historical demonstration. You're not doing it Wright | (60) |
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This green light is "of enormous importance for the whole country," according to the prime minister of Britain, submitter | (21) |
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Criminal charges mysteriously dismissed after man does 50 push-ups in court | (25) |
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Not news: DUI. News: At 237 km/h blowing red lights in the city. Fark Father of the Year Nomination: With baby daughter on board | (42) |
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A skunk with a jar stuck on its head wanders into a police parking lot. Then it gets weird | (44) |
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Surely there's more to report about than the street lights going off everytime a woman boils a kettle? And yes, proper street lights | (30) |
| (KING5) | |
TV station is shocked, SHOCKED to learn that insurance companies really don't want to pay out claims | (43) |
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Condoleezza Rice announces that dozens of federal agents will be sent to monitor the 20,000+ kill-happy Blackwater mercenaries in Iraq | (109) |
| (WVLT) | |
School administrators defend teacher's right to post her half-nekkid pics on the web | (109) |
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Man arrethted for theft afther cutting hith own tongue out | (24) |
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The average woman absorbs two kilograms of chemicals a year from cosmetics. How it gets from upper cheeks to lower remains a mystery | (38) |
| (wvgazette.com) | |
Vote on West Virginia's state slogan. "What happens in your cousin, stays in your cousin" still not eligible | (63) |
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Ten places where not to find a date. Clearly the author doesn't know about Fark on a Friday night | (106) |
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After his best friend died at Columbine, Luke Milam vowed to go into the Navy, become a hospital corpsman and prepare himself so he would be ready to save lives under fire. And that's what he died doing | (243) |
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Man goes to police station to pay traffic tickets, is mistaken for another with same name, gets jailed for 37 days. How fast can you spell L-A-W-S-U-I-T? | (80) |
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"Sibu the orang-utan has miffed his Dutch keepers by refusing to mate with females and showing sexual interest only in tattooed human blondes." | (73) |
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Thousands of Italian men to be offered cash by the government to get them to move out of their mom's basements. Your mom is intrigued by this idea, would like you to get off the computer so she can subscribe to their newsletter | (52) |
| (wwmt) | |
Bad: being fired. Worse: for taking too much time off work. Farked up: becaue your 2 year old daughter is getting cancer treatments | (137) |
Fri October 05, 2007
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Sorry, New Yorkers, but charging $1000 for your pizza still doesn't make it better than Chicago's pizza | (464) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this bus station | (69) |
| (Some Guy) | |
DEA actually returns $23K in cash wrongly seized. Fark needs a "shocking" tag | (138) |
| (FP Passport) | |
Jakarta officials use a steamroller to crush 35,065 bottles of booze seized during Ramadan. And there was a great distrubance in the force | (128) |
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Today's police call involving 27 poisonous snakes, guns, a plumber and his alligator brought to you by El Cajon, California. A guy could have a fun weekend in Vegas with all that | (61) |
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Weather forecasters predict a warm winter. Time to stock up on long johns and wool socks | (77) |
| (WWL-TV) | |
11-year-old has "need for speed," tops 100mph in chase with Louisiana State Police. Someone is losing TV privileges for at least a week | (55) |
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A scandal of biblical proportions is brewing at Oral Roberts University | (274) |
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If at first you don't succeed -- try, try again | (192) |
| (NBC5i) | |
Mother says Wal-Mart Halloween display has given her precious snowflakes bad dreams. Nightmare-inducing pic included | (237) |
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Wal-Mart getting sued by Down's syndrome man with irritable bowel syndrome. There's a joke there somewhere, but Subby is trying to avoid going to hell | (94) |
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Bungie unassimilated. Master Chief unavailable for comment | (122) |
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Jury awards woman $6.1 million for choosing to engage in role-playing and sexual activities at work | (505) |
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Duke lacrosse players file lawsuit against everyone involved in rape case. Duke su... er... maybe not | (153) |
| (WLTX) | |
Parents complain to school board after their 17-year-old son was elected homecoming queen. Bonus: He ran for the position | (144) |
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Investigative journalism at its finest: Inside Ladies' Night. Giggity | (184) |
| (Florida Today) | |
Southwest Airlines will not be happy until all its passengers are flying in burkhas | (206) |
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Alaskan tourism industry hoping new movie about a clueless young man who died of starvation in the wilderness will boost tourism to the state | (293) |
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"Proof" that NASA knows about the alien base on the Moon and airbrushed the pictures | (327) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
A man walked into a bank, needin' a fresh load of crank. So a note he did flash, and fled with the cash, the cops are drawing a blank | (52) |
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Hollywood's most annoying couples: "It's a classic boy-meets-girl story: Boy's movie career is flagging. Girl signs a contract to remain in relationship with boy. Boy and girl get married by aliens" (Sponsored link) | (71) |
| (News4Jax) | |
Why Fark has a Florida tag: mom picks up son at school bus stop, then threatens other 6th graders with gun yelling, "You can all get some of this." | (237) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop Challenge Extreme: Complete this Da Vinci sketch | (191) |
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Media report on missing pregnant woman who is not white | (102) |
| (Orange County Register) | |
Prosposed bill would prevent newly recognized indian tribes from building casinos for 25 years. So what are they expected to do until then, drink? | (114) |
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U.S. marshals pose as supporters and then arrest convicted tax evaders holed up in home for nearly a year. Awkward | (560) |
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Dark-haired couple decide to end joshing from friends by taking a DNA test to prove their fair-haired angel is theirs. Turns out their friends were right | (293) |
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Prince Harry celebrated for bravely NOT going to war in Iraq | (116) |
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Researchers seek out the 8% of unmarried Americans who have kids to discover that 61% of them think it's okay for other unmarried folks to have kids. It's not news, it's Yahoo News | (118) |
| (Post Gazette) | |
Woman sues Kmart over $.28 tax she was charged on a pack of toilet paper. Fails to realize that even if she wins, Kmart has no money to pay her back | (133) |
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Today's airport evacuation brought to you by cremains and the city of Indianapolis | (45) |
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A Scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, reverent, and lead poisoned | (71) |
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Eight 12- and 13-year-old boys charged with sexual assault of girls: "It's kids playing basketball. People touch people – it's not that they were groping the vagina or breasts or nothing." | (294) |
| (Some Gal) | |
First grade teacher arrested for showing up to school drunk, as if there's any other way to handle being around dozens of screaming hairless monkeys day in and day out | (141) |
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A burglar who stole more than £150,000 worth of nickel and copper was caught when his getaway truck's suspension collapsed under the weight of his haul | (47) |
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Woman told that she has to remove her bra before she can go to court | (191) |
| (The Local) | |
Swedish tech guy demands equal rights after nightclub tells him that go-go cages are for women only. How can we ever achieve full gender equality if men are kept out of the cages? | (72) |
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Here's why you won't be able to save your child from a Chinese toy death this Christmas | (126) |
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Amazon group bans logging and mining, continues to allow Super Saver shipping | (19) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Drew will be on Opie and Anthony XM 202 at 9am | (190) |
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Try our new energy bar before your next workout. You can really taste the buffalo meat and cranberries | (45) |
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Hillary Clinton promises a science-friendly White House. And we know Bill enjoys the field of DNA forensics | (460) |
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Police shoot and kill a gunman who shot five people in a Louisiana law office, remind the public that lawyer season doesn't open for another three weeks | (66) |
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Art teacher gets caught painting with his butt while wearing a Groucho Marx mask. What he was doing with a Groucho mask on his ass, we'll never know | (46) |
| (Some Tfette) | |
Photoshop this piggy-back ride | (45) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Drew will be on Q104.3 New York City starting around 7:40am. Podcast available all day | (51) |
| (Irish Independent) | |
The Vatican has pledged to clean up Italian football after buying its own club. Wait, what? | (53) |
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Residents of gay retirement home fear there are too many straight people moving into their area, and that is NOT fabulous (pic) | (147) |
| (WMUR) | |
Not news: Man grows marijuana plants. News: Gets busted by undercover state troopers. Fark: Alongside of I-89 in New Hampshire while watering said plants | (80) |
| (Some Big Toe) | |
News: Assistant principal has inappropriate contact with student. Fark: By sucking his big toe in exchange for good grades, money and hall passes | (49) |
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Britain's first extinction of the new millennia likely to be a beetle that was only discovered two years ago. Been nice knowing you, mate | (36) |
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British people are stressed out and whiny and feel that living in the UK is tougher than an overcooked banger | (72) |
| (Some Hobo) | |
Give some physical graffiti to this box car. Special details in first post | (157) |
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The Church of England does not want you to dress like a whore or a monster this Halloween | (17) |
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Japanese policeman shot in butt with own gun while battling porn vending machine bandits | (61) |
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Man shoots himself seven times with a nail gun in attempt to defraud worker's compensation. The Sun is there with the X-rays | (51) |
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Vatican set to reveal 700-year-old secret Knights Templar papers. Gentlemen, pull your tinfoil hats down to the takeoff position | (189) |
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A confused moose thinks he's a cow. Will Rocky find him before he's shipped to the stockyard? Don't miss our next episode: "Milk of Amnesia" or "It's not just an udder day" | (164) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Brits in the US compare ban on clotted cream to the London Blitz. How did we win WWII again? | (74) |
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Floyd the barber gives Mayberry city council meeting a piece of his mind... literally | (140) |
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British railroads getting desperate to explain delays to passengers. They're now testing out "OMFG, there's a llama on the tracks" | (29) |
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Nature-lovers with more money than brain cells go to Chernobyl to swim, fish, and forage for berries | (53) |
| (ScienceDaily) | |
Study finds working during adolescence increases risk of smoking, working with adolescents increases risk of drinking | (32) |
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Politician putting together program that would pay kids hourly wage to stay in school and get good grades | (125) |
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Remember bird flu? Remember how it's supposed to mutate to infect humans? It has. EVERYBODY PANIC | (145) |
| (Doh!) | |
Woman arrested for having a stolen doughnut in the back of her pants | (57) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Some beer thieves are content with running away with a 12-pack from 7-11. This guy had bigger dreams | (30) |
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"Americans Against Hate" plans to protest Muslim Family Day at Six Flags | (161) |
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Doctors call on smokers "to be treated the same as heroin addicts" | (181) |
Thu October 04, 2007
| (Some Guy) | |
Woman finds two years of her salary in the middle of the street. What does she do? Tag says it all | (226) |
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It's official - slain pregnant woman in Deerfield, IL was girlfriend of '85 Bears Super Bowl team member Shaun Gayle | (84) |
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The IgNobel Prizes are out, and if you got vanilla scent out of cow pies, congratulations are in order. The "gay bomb" creators, well, you guys have issues... just saying | (42) |
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Solar telescope lands on Texas farm. Yeah, that's it. A solar telescope. Move along, citizen (w/pic) | (94) |
| (Student Press Law Center) | |
Georgia high school publishes gay-bashing article with zingers like: "homosexuality is a medical disorder as much as Down's syndrome" | (551) |
| (Earth Times) | |
Two teens get suspended from school for wearing anti drunk driving t-shirts | (104) |
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Drew's book "does more to advance the journalistic art" than a bunch of think tanks you've never heard of, writes amazed journalist | (68) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this smiling puffer fish | (85) |
| (KNBC-4) | |
L.A. County Sheriff lifts policing tactics from "Reno 911" by holding contest to see which deputy could make the most arrests in a single shift | (107) |
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Being a parent is now sufficient grounds for being suspected of drunken, drug-abusing child-farking criminal behavior | (200) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this mountain climber | (63) |
| (Some Ra Worshipper) | |
"How come nobody worries about the sun going out?" Bonus: Fark mention | (140) |
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