Sun September 09, 2007
| (Some Ruski) |  |
Caption this lecturing Q-tip | (48) |
| (NEIC) |  |
Colombia shakes with a 6.8 quake. Pray for Juan Valdez | (31) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Actual headline: "Women getting fatter, more clueless" | (186) |
 |
 |
Two men sue their alma mater after the school newsletter published an item saying they were "life partners" who had been married and the leaders of a nonexistent group called the Gay Rights Brigade | (65) |
 |
 |
Study finds most kids don't want to be astronauts, they just want a happy marriage - even though the odds of becoming an astronaut are way better | (50) |
 |
|
Teen bow hunters discover it's too tough to bag any deer during the August, hunt so they end up hunting cows | (60) |
| (PennLive) |  |
Excessive wetness brings Christian sex show to premature end | (141) |
 |
 |
Bush official says bin Laden is "virtually impotent". Lucky for him, they have a pill for that now | (121) |
| (Florida Today) |  |
Not News: Our kids are fat. News: New law increases amount of physical education to 150 hours per week in elementary schools. Fark: Schools have to cut out recess to make room for "Brain Gym" | (175) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Tomato Haters vs Tomato Lovers | (152) |
 |
|
You can't catch autism from a play date (or why some people hate parents) | (256) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Every time Osama bin Laden references current events in his latest video, the video feed appears to be frozen. Hmmmm | (290) |
| (Richmond Times Dispatch) |  |
Virginia prepares to commemorate War of Northern Aggression's 150th anniversary | (413) |
 |
|
State to towns: Turn over your records of traffic stops so we can see how racist your local police are. Towns to state: No | (95) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Religious groups forced to stop using British comic catchphrases to spread word of Jesus. Judean People's Front's crack suicide squad prepares counter-attack | (225) |
| (Hindustan Times) |  |
Men increasingly concerned about their asses, are getting "butt therapy" | (73) |
 |
 |
Kid falls out of back seat of Excursion while being towed away by repo men. Reached for comment, repo men said they get into five or six tense situations a day, and it don't mean shiat to them anymore | (146) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Top 10 most evil women in history. Rosie O'Donnell suspiciously absent from list | (262) |
 |
|
Do no evil? Yeah, right. Google is finally going over to the dark side | (151) |
| (Lansing State Journal) | |
Feminist: "Exotic dancers should never receive our scorn. They only deserve our respect and admiration. They make our world better through their captivating performances on stage" | (94) |
| (Engadget) | |
Japanese are the first to develop a solar-powered Laser Death Ray in Space | (97) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Theme: Ultra-mega-epic crossover showdowns. Photoshop your favorite characters from different movies/TV shows/etc. locked in mortal combat (LGT example) | (99) |
 |
|
3.7 earthquake hits San Diego | (82) |
| (some jihadi) | |
Iran opens women's skydiving center. Parachute optional | (47) |
 |
|
Searchers for Steve Fossett have discovered six unknown crash sites in an area that has had over 150 light plane crashes in the last five decades, an area known as "an aircraft graveyard" | (105) |
 |
|
"Love often elusive on the farm - It's not uncommon for farmers who spend much of their time in the fields to have trouble meeting a mate." Well sure, if you limit yourself to just one species | (55) |
|
|
Holiday seats at local synagogue go for $1.8 million. Oy vey | (138) |
 |
|
Israeli neo-Nazi gang arrested. Guys, you're doing it wrong | (172) |
 |
|
The world gravy-wrestling championships are serious business | (20) |
 |
|
"Balcony rails are there for a purpose, to keep people safe. He's climbed over the rails a couple of times. At the time he fell he was hanging on by one hand". Darwin wins | (70) |
 |
|
"I love that smell. Don't you just love it? Nothing smells better to me," says Sherri Tippie, inhaling deeply. "I was born for beavers" | (68) |
 |
|
Man explains that normally, he wouldn't get naked in his front yard, but he really needed a bath | (18) |
|
|
Man beaten nearly to death by six occupants of a Hummer for telling them "I like your car." Looks like maybe it wasn't just the vehicle which was on steroids | (127) |
 |
 |
Coastal Native Americans return to their ancestor's hunting styles and shoot a whale with a .50 cal machine gun | (140) |
|
 |
UK Drivers risk two years in "£ me in the arse prison" for using their mobile phones while motoring | (70) |
|
|
Not News: Man attempts to return ammunition to Walmart. Still Not News: Walmart refuses to accept the return. Fark: Man goes outside, loads his gun and decides to "return" it anyway | (63) |
 |
|
Pope blasts Europeans for not having enough children. Apparently there is a shortage of altar boys | (197) |
|
|
Japanese create caramel-like soy sauce for ice cream, failing to realize that they haven't thought this cunning plan all the way through | (66) |
 |
|
The FBI used national security letters to request thousands of telephone records from a wide "community of interest" of those even remotely linked to individuals under suspicion | (88) |
| (salina journal) | |
Small town in Kansas plans re-enactment of the night they shot Sheriff Whitney, including the public hanging. As you can imagine, the local newspaper editor has her panties in a giant half-hitch over this | (56) |
| (New Yorker) |  |
During his first term as President, Jefferson spent seventy-five hundred dollars—roughly a hundred and twenty thousand dollars in today’s currency—on wine | (104) |
Sat September 08, 2007
|
|
Old and busted: Picking your pocket. New hotness: Stealing the hair off your head | (36) |
| (Some Guy) | |
How could I, a 5-foot woman, have possibly raped a strapping, 6-foot businessman? | (320) |
| (FW Journal) | |
Not news: Man uses a gun to rob someone. News: Victim was an employee at a radio station promotion. Fark: Robber only demanded McDonald's coupons | (41) |
 |
|
Ceiling Thief is watching you medicate | (41) |
|
|
Potential terrorist plot stopped by anti-hoodie rules. With scary pic of the terrorist mastermind | (128) |
| (Some Okie) |  |
OKC Fark Party TONIGHT 7 p.m. Come get your drink on. LGT Venue, DIT | (42) |
 |
|
Top 100 TV Shows of All Time as picked by Time Magazine. How many of your favorites are on the list? | (464) |
| (Phoenixnewtimes) | |
If you're the sheriff of Maricopa, AZ and want to see justice done for traffic citations do you 1) send a letter advising turning himself in 2) send an officer with a warrant 3) get the SWAT team to burn his house down and kill his dog | (241) |
 |
|
Police say they're going to beef up security at Winnipeg Bombers games because they're having an increasingly difficult time keeping drunk, naked fans off the field | (33) |
| (Hindustan Times) | |
When you have a friend in a financial dispute do you A) offer a loan, B) suggest they get a lawyer or C) fabricate a news story accusing a woman of prostituting school students which leads to riots outside the school? | (12) |
 |
|
Two guys go around videotaping themselves licking random women. Actually, it works out better than you would expect | (181) |
 |
|
And who said all lawyers are bad? Pennsylvania's archiac blue laws are being challenged in the state Supreme Court. Yes, Pennsylvanians have to go to three seperate stores to get a six pack, case of beer, and bottle of wine | (100) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Man takes pictures of Tokyo for 35-years, puts them into 10-second clip | (74) |
 |
|
Weapons of Mass Detergent confirmed at United Nations | (23) |
|
|
Australian police trying to lure women to join the force by promoting guns as fashion accessories | (35) |
 |
|
11-year-old Canadian boy survives decapitation, doesn't care much for his new nickname at school | (82) |
| (Murfreesboro Post) | |
"Officer Sean Garrison explained to the neighbor he couldn’t practice his Ninja skills in his front yard" | (29) |
 |
|
1. Cut a hole in the box, 2. Put your junk in that box, 3. Have her open the box, and that's the way you get an Emmy nomination | (108) |
| (WC Tribune) | |
Home intruder dismayed to discover that the homeowner knows genitalia-fu | (62) |
| (madison.com) | |
Paul Bunyan may have been African-American. Still no word on why Babe the ox was blue | (77) |
| (Some Genetically Enginneered Guy) | |
MSNBC Jumps on the Transhumanist / New-Age Evolutionary Bandwagon. I shall call him mini-me | (119) |
|
|
Tropical Storm Gabrielle heads for North Carolina on news that Nifong has been released from jail | (54) |
| (SB Sun.Com) | |
A fireman who fought in front lines of two of Southern California's most destructive fires, helped at the World Trade Center on 9-11 and was at Hurricane Katrina has been arrested. Seems that he's never actually been a fireman | (104) |
 |
|
Vogue's top 30 eco must-haves include bamboo bras | (71) |
| (Fayetteville Observer) | |
No matter how great of a relationship you have with your boss, it's probably never going to be OK to have sex with his dog | (109) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Texas parents outraged - OUTRAGED - because middle school students get stupid homework assignment | (130) |
 |
|
Photoshop a celebrity stuck in his or her personal hell. Difficulty: No Michael "PMITA" Jackson | (129) |
 |
|
Artificial-turf soccer field has to be elaborately disinfected after high school girls' soccer team urinates on it to show contempt for their opponents | (125) |
| (Shropshire Star) | |
Newspaper asks what it would take to make women order ales in a pub. Is surprised to discover the answer is pink bottles and "a free pair of shoes with every two pints" | (39) |
 |
|
Man saves water by peeing on his vegetable garden. "And (I) have never suffered any ill health as a result, which is not to say that it will be the same for everyone." | (63) |
|
|
4.4 magnitude earthquake hits northern California | (135) |
| (kpho.com) | |
Rare African cat escapes owner, is now on the loose in Phoenix. Hopefully she'll make it home in time for Caturday | (185) |
|
|
Not news: Woman can't find her keys. News: Believing her keys to be stolen, she torches her neighbors' trailer in retaliation. Fark: Her keys were hanging from her pants pocket all along. Oopsie | (73) |
|
|
Writer rails against the misuse of charity to provide breast implants, apparently forgetting that if it wasn't for strippers, most people wouldn't support single moms | (30) |
| (49ABC News) | |
Not news: Man sends pic of naked lady via email to a couple friends. News: He's the mayor. Fark: He included a local media outlet in the recipient list | (72) |
 |
|
Corrections chief proposes such budget-slashing measures as making low-security inmates work on chain gangs, live in tents, and eat boiled eggs until they puke. This will end well | (108) |
|
|
Criminal-of-the-Year decides a school would be an easy target to rob. A karate school. The good news is that he'll have plenty of time to think through his cunning plan in the hospital recovery ward | (65) |
|
|
The next time you and nine of your friends want to get drunk and get exercise, why not rent The Pub Crawler, a mobile bar propelled by the pedal power of its customers | (42) |
|
|
Not news: Truck in India crashes killing 85 passengers. Newsier: There were 200 in the truck | (54) |
| (Times Argus) | |
Man sprays keyboard cleaner into his mouth while driving at high speed, causes an accident, then drives into a rock wall in the highway median, setting his car on fire. Then it gets weird | (52) |
 |
|
Old timey hobo lolcat makes a Star Wars funny | (321) |
 |
|
Man caught with hundreds of pot plants tells police it is a science project that got out of hand | (38) |
| (Fox5Atlanta) | |
Cop gets too much salt on his burger - rather than complain, he chooses to arrest fry cook for reckless conduct | (220) |
 |
|
Suspected but now confirmed, Dr Who's Rose Tyler likes being a dominatrix (with pics) | (112) |
|
|
Old and busted: Female teachers sleeping with students. New and hot: Female prosecutors sleeping with judges | (44) |
|
|
First lady Laura Bush to have elective surgery to relieve the pain in her neck. I thought this was called a divorce | (51) |
 |
 |
Man dies in fire after only exit blocked by his 5-foot tall stack of beer cans | (74) |
 |
|
Problem: Man facing trial halfway saws off leg with electronic monitor on it. Solution: “My understanding is the probation department moved the monitor to his other leg.” | (38) |
 |
|
U.S. drought wipes out annual marijuana crop. Suck it, hippies | (200) |
Fri September 07, 2007
|
|
Man creates huge mosaic with nothing but toothpicks. Jaw dropping | (70) |
|
|
Students want day out of school so they send threatening emails, they got the day out of school plus a bonus trip to the police station | (26) |
|
|
Hundreds of fans descend on Anthrax Castle for third Monty Python Day | (107) |
|
 |
Even if you *were* robbed at gunpoint, don't expect the police to help you recover your weed stash | (26) |
|
|
Document found in al-Zarqawi's safe house last year outlines al-Qaeda plans to draw U.S. into war with Iran | (327) |
|
|
Doctors recommend a pint of Guinness a day to help lower your risk of a heart attack | (125) |
| (KSAT) | |
Today's "Chihuahua adopts four baby squirrels" story brought to you by Lake City, Florida. With pic and video awwwwwwwwwwness | (54) |
 |
|
This week's controversial billboard sighting and subsequent uproar brought to you by the Lower East Side of Manhattan | (90) |
 |
|
Plant Porn? WTF | (102) |
|
|
Former Enron CEO Jeffrey Skilling, unhappy with his new name "Shirley" and his new husband Bucephelus, would like a do over on his trial, please | (71) |
|
|
Research shows that too much TV can cause attention problems in adolescents. In other news | (33) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Man arrested after trying to sell the surveillance equipment cops hid in his car | (73) |
|
|
From the "We Can Do Better Than 10 Cars" Department: Time makes a 50 worst-cars list | (212) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Friday night 9:42 p.m.... WTF? | (120) |
|
|
Nearly 30 percent of Americans see nothing wrong with unwed women having children. Giggity | (301) |
|
|
NOAA, the same agency that has been so accurate at predicting hurricanes, has affirmed dire predictions of sea ice loss. In other words, a new Ice Age is coming | (147) |
| (Some Floor Humping Guy) | |
If Burning Man accomplished nothing else this year, at least it pissed off a right wing talk show host and her caravan of followers | (207) |
| (Chattanoogan) | |
Today's "woman charged with having sex with 15-year-old boy" story comes from OMG MY EYES MY EYES | (253) |
 |
 |
Crack tax ruled unconstitutional by Tennesee Court of Appeals. Michael Moore, Pete Doherty's cat utter sighs of relief | (56) |
| (Some Guy) | |
.22 rifle? Check. Geo Metro? Check. On college campus? Check. Let's hunt deer | (179) |
|
|
The entire world hates you, your economy is in shambles and nature has washed out huge chunks of the heart of your country. What do you do? Why, visit a duck farm and listen to singing soldiers, of course | (143) |
|
|
♫ Texas Commisioners of History / Bought them a letter for 500 Gs / Now someone doubts its au-then-ti-ci-ty / Some experts say that it's a forgery / Davey, Davey Crockett -- damn it's still real to me ♫ | (42) |
| (Some Guy) | |
NPR reporter in Iraq doesn't know what horrifies her most -- that people were ready to kidnap her for ransom, or that they were only going to demand $100,000. "You want to think, 'Just $100,000? Come on'" | (107) |
 |
|
Minister busted with a box full of child porn says he had the photos for research purposes so he could help shut down child-porn websites | (98) |
|
|
Nine-year-old remembers vomiting, hitting her head and blacking out after her grandma gave her two glasses of gin. Grandma did it so the girl would pass out and grams could go party | (149) |
|
|
Rare dolphin: "The reports of my extinction have been greatly exaggerated" | (59) |
| (Some Ump) | |
Photoshop these baseball rookies and their fans | (51) |
|
|
Recent news: Depression feels worse than other diseases. In other news, women have boobs and tall people are good at basketball | (285) |
| (Philadelphia Weekly) | |
Philadelphia Weekly story about Hillary Clinton caption contest | (54) |
|
|
Doctors in China to remove 26 needles embedded in woman's body | (94) |
|
|
Tessa-wrecked: Madeline L'Engle dies at 88 | (194) |
|
|
Graffiti artist sends double-decker bus around London with personalised message to Ken on the top | (68) |
|
|
White? Check. Female? Check. Attractive? Check. Missing? Check. Fark? Check | (178) |
|
|
US intelligence has an advance bootleg copy of bin-Laden’s new video. Still no word on if it is Blue-Ray or HD-DVD | (180) |
|
|
Test-drive a Nissan and win a lead-laced mug. Don't ask where those mugs are produced. You already know | (55) |
| (YNet) | |
Israeli Air Force: We don't know why you guys overreacted, we constantly violate Syrian airspace | (619) |
|
|
Boston rehearses distribution of bioterror vaccines in case Mooninites lauch another attack | (51) |
 |
|
Having created world peace for now and into the future, Bush and S. Korean president get in a tizzy about war truce from 54 years ago | (60) |
 |
|
Top 10 stadium anthems that need to go | (220) |
| (Some Compromised Server) | |
Storm worm now more powerful than world's top supercomputers. Skynet runs off, crying for its mother | (224) |
 |
 |
Miss Teen South Carolina's brother starts a map company | (75) |
 |
|
Apparently, two quarts of oil can help an armed man slide for 30 feet (Sponsored Link) | (43) |
| (KTRK) | |
All those missing honeybees? Here's about 500,000 of them | (74) |
|
|
Pete Doherty has been captured on camera forcing his pet cat to smoke crack | (174) |
|
|
Four supporters attend Fred Thompson presidential rally. Considering it was Utah, that's four more than were expected | (165) |
|
|
John Stossel and "20/20" go to Cuba to see if average citizens get the same medical care as fat, bloviating, leftist American filmmakers do (click on video at right) | (649) |
 |
|
Men walking away from lost children in tears at mall rather than helping and risking being branded a child molester. "Being male, I am guilty until proven innocent." Tag is for this society | (1162) |
|
|
Attention whore is too sexy to fly on Southwest? You be the judge. Bonus: The aired broadcast had to blur out her crotch when she sits down | (518) |
| (Berkshire Eagle) | |
Wanted criminal evades police by canoe. That's a paddlin' | (33) |
|
|
Like Sting and Elton John before him, Osama Bin Laden to put out yet another video while sporting a new look | (137) |
|
|
Apparently enraged by snide remarks on Fark about their hostage stunt, non-violent Buddhist monks go on rampage in electronics shop | (68) |
|
|
Remember the paralyzed guy arrested for DUI while another drunk guy operated the pedals? Their defense in court: Neither had control, so neither was driving | (43) |
|
|
Leading New Zealand bishop steps down, sideways | (27) |
 |
|
Two bridges in Quebec to be torn down after inspection finds microscopic evidence of the presence of Celine Dion | (34) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Robber:"I'll have Mint Chocolate Chip on a sugar cone and all your money." Baskin Robbins owner: "Here you go sir, enjoy your ice cream and this chocolate-covered bullet in your ass" | (439) |
 |
|
Intruder tries to break into Warren Buffett’s home but is foiled by Buffett's own private army of bloodthirsty mercenaries who all look like Brigitte Nielsen | (52) |
|
|
Supermarket executives still not willing to give the public a drive-through supermarket, despite yet another customer showing their support for the concept by adding their own drive-through lane | (15) |
 |
|
Duke lacrosse players trying to suck $30 million from the city of Durham | (287) |
|
|
U.S. free of canine rabies virus. Your dog wants to celebrate | (74) |
|
|
Boy calls emergency number, is made to wait on hold for an hour. While clinging to the side of a cliff | (50) |
|
|
British parents of missing daughter, Madeleine McCann are now suspects in the little girl's disappearance | (203) |
|
|
Chelsea to be questioned over Ballack conundrum. Said to be "so very scared" | (31) |
|
|
TV satirists responsible for yesterday's motorcade security breach in Sydney try same trick again today. With black cardboard boxes and paper plate wheels | (23) |
 |
|
Fugitive fundraiser Norman Hsu nabbed in Colorado | (65) |
|
|
What's worse than five-year-olds and people's pets on the terror watch list? Actual terrorist suspects were left off the list. Mission accomplished | (34) |
| (Post Chronicle) | |
Vanessa Hudgens bushy beaver gets her fired from Disney | (300) |
|
|
SHCOOL | (129) |
|
|
Attention women of Australia. You may now wear pants. That is all | (35) |
| (WLTX) | |
Female teacher apologizes for having sex with five male students at a motel, at a park, behind a restaurant, on her desk, in the back seat of her car, across the hood of her car, etc | (182) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this king and queen | (64) |
| (NY Daily News) | |
Don't bring your ninja nunchucks to a knife fight | (75) |
|
|
Judge rules part of Patriot Act unconstitutional, orders FBI to stop secretly demanding info from ISPs | (175) |
 |
|
Woman, 76, found safe after two weeks lost in the woods in near-freezing temperatures. She told you she was hardcore | (41) |
|
|
The hills are alive with the sound of George W. | (157) |
|
|
Ugly-ass baby rhino born in Britain. It'll be in your dreams (pic) | (47) |
| (NY Daily News) | |
You know the feel-good* story that is Rick Ankiel? We may have HGH to thank for that | (139) |
|
|
Man celebrates beginning of NFL season by jumping over railing at NFL pregame party and falling nine stories. ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FREEFALL? | (46) |