Sun August 26, 2007
| (Some Guy) |  |
Photoshop these men in black (and white) | (50) |
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Georgia beats Japan with a walk-off homer to win the Little League World Series | (21) |
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Man caught with his pants down after stealing porn magazine | (20) |
| (Arkansas News) |  |
Other states following Arkansas' lead and banning smoking in cars where children six and under are present | (152) |
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Behold, "Pete" the ugly-ass four-eared rabbit (with pic) | (61) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Self-described pedophile who says how he liked to stake out areas where little girls congregate is leaving California. "I have to leave the state, really, I can't live here under this Orwellian protocol" | (167) |
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Sad, loveless Japanese singles follow their pathetic North American counterparts in turning their dogs into surrogate children | (29) |
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Forget the war in Iraq – the real battleground gripping the U.S. is the right to dry laundry on clotheslines, and homeowners associations be damned | (65) |
| (Fred the Baker) |  |
Dunkin Donuts goes 0% transfat. Doughnuts as health food? Yeah right | (48) |
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Germaine Greer on plush toys: "Wherever they are, they are truly hideous, beyond kitsch. By making our children fall in love with such ugliness, we are preparing them for a life without taste" | (58) |
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If you're driving around drunk, you should really try to avoid hitting a horse. Especially if there's a cop on it at the time | (36) |
| (My Fox Philadelphia) |  |
Father says he chained 13-year-old son to bed to keep him out of trouble. Son released, father arrested. Son arrested very next day for vandalism, attempted car theft | (97) |
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Today’s story of poisonous toothpaste is brought to you by India. This time it contains antifreeze and bacteria. Take that, China | (37) |
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Goombahs still running Chicago, "You's got a problem with that?" | (79) |
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This is dummy text so I can check my color. This is dummy text so I can check my color. This is dummy text so I can check my color | (181) |
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Your favorite beaches could soon be laced with crushed glass; Looks like someone's got glass in their vagina | (98) |
| (NBC5i) |  |
Texas goes past "hot enough to cook on your dash" and makes it to "hot enough to make your lighter explode" | (100) |
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Elian 2: Electric Boogaloo | (62) |
| (Some Racist) | |
And the award for the least appropriate name for an mp3 player goes to | (207) |
| (E & P) | |
Twelve lessons mainstream newspapers have learned after a decade of going online | (52) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this chunk of old milk covered in delicious fungus and bacteria | (59) |
| (Blog Critics) |  |
Zippo lighters the latest target of the Homogenization Conspiracy | (114) |
| (Consumer Affairs) | |
Use too much of your cable internet service, that's a one-year suspension. How much is too much? Well, Comcast still won't say | (237) |
| (WTVD) | |
81-year old man fends off armed teenage robbers, tells them to get off his lawn | (33) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Better get better binoculars there, Chester | (81) |
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Government adds new tracking chips to $100 bills under the guise of micro-printing to thwart counterfeiters, like we're going to fall for that old trick | (80) |
| (StAugustone.com) | |
"Being a nude dancer or hustler for tips in a gentleman's club will steal your soul, piece by piece, without you even being aware of it." So says the Tool Box Goddess | (273) |
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Suck it flatlanders, it's snowing in Colorado | (125) |
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Man sues Tennessee government for overtaxing his marijuana/rice krispie treats | (86) |
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Bird flu found at German poultry farm. JEDER VERSETZEN IN PANIK | (57) |
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"She had sex with me and didn't tell me she has herpes, now I have it. Now she is up for a judicial position, do I reveal her dishonesty?" | (209) |
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How George Bush pulled off the biggest heist in history | (565) |
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The sixth, and last, hole to be drilled into the Huntington, Utah coal mine shows no void and extremely poor air quality | (53) |
| (Manseild News Jurnal) | |
Are there no proofreaders anymore? | (189) |
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Over a hundred thousand people in the Midwest are without power this morning after high winds and heavy storms battered the region. Hey, didn't the global warming people mention something about "severe storms?" | (140) |
| (Loves car debate) |  |
What? Another farking slidesh... ohhh, 10 ugliest cars. This should be fun | (351) |
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Passenger tries to open plane door at 30,000 feet. Duct-tapilarity ensues | (73) |
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Fark NYC - Red Hook Ball Fields - Sunday, Aug. 26th. LGT original thread. DIT | (12) |
| (Some Gal) | |
Photoshop theme: Have some fun altering a piece of classical art. Link goes to one example | (245) |
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Why can't the most powerful nation on Earth capture the most wanted man in the world? | (279) |
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An in-depth look at England's "weekend Nazis" | (119) |
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Campaigning against what they say is widespread and unacceptable discrimination in the workplace and society, the American Moustache Institute (AMI) is vowing to restore well-tended facial hair to the noble status it enjoyed in the Seventies | (112) |
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A mysterious illness is causing camels to sweat, vomit, faint and die. Marlboro Man wanted for questioning | (28) |
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Bored teen whiles away afternoons making phony maydays to Coast Guard on stolen marine radios. Sailin', takes him away | (37) |
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Animals from Sydney's Taronga Park Zoo will be moved across the harbour to a military-controlled island, so that the wives of APEC summit leaders can view them without all the riff-raff | (36) |
| (Some Guy) | |
The TSA collected over 22,000 lighters a day. That all ended Saturday | (200) |
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Strippers expose counterfeiting operation, breasts | (53) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Can someone explain to me why sending information faster than light would violate causality? | (448) |
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Internet campaign convinces the Cadbury Chocolate company to reintroduce that 1980's snack icon, the Wispa bar (pic) | (129) |
Sat August 25, 2007
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Artist sets sail in life-size paper boat, gets stuck in giant drain grate | (76) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Not news: Dog bites man. News: Man bites dog. Fark: Man bites girlfriend's snake and tells her it tasted lovely | (57) |
| (Some Guy) | |
That's no moon... it's a library | (101) |
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Death toll from Greek fires continues to climb, Hephaestus still showing no mercy | (131) |
| (Pryor Daily Times) |  |
Oklahoma kidnappers demand exhorbitant ransom of $350, almost don't get it because that's awful expensive | (46) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Miss Teen South Carolina explains why Americans have difficulty finding the United States on a world map | (406) |
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Modern day Ghostbusters confirm that the Kansas Aviation Museum is haunted. "Many Shubs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of Sloar that day I can tell you" says the chief scien... um... gatekeeper | (124) |
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If police wrongfully accuse you of setting off fireworks, you should probably not use "I was dealing drugs" as your alibi | (17) |
| (Some Finn) | |
The most coveted prize of the sporting world stays in Finland after the Mobile Phone Throwing World Championships draw to a close | (21) |
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Russia's recent military muscle flexing in the form of observation flights using 50-year-old bombers is about as capable as they are in terms of military might | (159) |
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Mickey D's goes for upscale snob effect in European remodel of company and franchised restaurants. Changes include fine furniture, relaxing environments, mad cow-free burgers and surrender fries | (89) |
| (Ars Technica) | |
Windows Genuine Advantage suffers worldwide outage. We're all pirates today | (236) |
| (Some Guy) | |
High school students suspended after violating dress code by wearing jacket and tie | (255) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this busy Putin. Wink wink, nod nod | (89) |
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How does a rising economic superpower celebrate its burgeoning ascendency? With beer... lots and lots and lots of beer | (56) |
| (Some fed-up libertarian) | |
Cops pull man over, search his car, find no drugs. They then take $23,000 from him and give it to the DEA. He now must prove the money didn't come from drug dealing. Thanks, War on Drugs | (497) |
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Apparently, there's a section of the Koran that deals with hairstyling. Who knew? | (154) |
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Pakistan test fires missle capable of carrying nuclear warhead. That'll help stabilize the region | (71) |
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Maine man may have to give up his 'bee farm.' And his little tractors, little silo, little bee barn, and his teensy- tiny bee milking stool | (68) |
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Nearly two-thirds of Internet news viewers dislike and distrust the mainstream media. Wait a minute... a third of us still trust Big Media? Inconceivable | (80) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Caption this confused gentleman | (103) |
| (Some Guy) | |
The top 10 must reads in literature. For once, they get #1 correct | (544) |
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The latest menace to western society: KILLER SLUGS. Take this news with a pinch of salt | (79) |
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Penny Lane, the road is closed down due to violence, two injured in a shooting at a bar, the gunman traveled via hatchback car, down to the bar | (65) |
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Milwaukee running out of places to store its tainted sludge, wants to begin shipping it to Michigan. Michigan declines, says it already has enough Miller products | (36) |
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Boy'z On Da Hood | (96) |
| (Some hep cat) | |
Another story seemingly written just for Fark: Cat "Acatemy" open in NYC | (256) |
| (Press Enterprise.com) | |
Little shoes to protect your pet's little footsies from hot pavement | (78) |
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Plastic 'Diet Forks' available in packs of ten for $8.95. "The uncomfortable grip compelling user to put fork down between bites, slowing the user's eating speed" | (77) |
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Introducing 'Wiggles' - human hair designer wigs ... for dogs (with ugly-ass 3-pic slideshow) | (47) |
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Two Chinese farmers volunteer to rid Beijing of flies before the Olympics. The two have videotaped flies to better understand their prey and have arranged for a consultation by famed US varmint hunter Carl Spackler | (34) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this kid playing on the couch | (57) |
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Ten years after Great Britain banned handguns, the use of handguns to commit crimes has doubled | (473) |
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Meet Chumbee, the world's first gigolo koala bear. "It has been almost non-stop sex in the koala enclosure ever since, and now even our own male is joining in" | (50) |
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Moscow, Russia, residents celebrate the potato. Moscow, Idaho, residents say, "amateurs" | (50) |
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Alcohol may lower risk of kidney cancer, let's drink to that | (39) |
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I give you your 2007 Miss Teen USA (With kitten-threatening pic goodness) | (144) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Two KMart employees stealing electronics, fail to see security cameras. (with female mullet pic) | (60) |
| (Irish Examiner) | |
Couple sentenced to three months each for having sex on DART train, by the end of the story you'll find it just doesn't matter | (27) |
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Nine year-old boy genius aces university entrance exams, about to get a ten-year head start on rejection | (91) |
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Actual headline: "Mystic evacuated; cows die" | (23) |
| (The E-T) | |
This October a Massachusetts high school will begin charging students a dollar to ride the bus | (139) |
| (awful plastic surgery.com) | |
Did Fark's favorite gal get a boob job? They suspect, you decide | (364) |
Fri August 24, 2007
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The Rocky Horror Star Trek Show | (73) |
| (News and Observer) | |
93-year-old charged with cocaine trafficking, with pic goodness | (68) |
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Jerry Lewis: "Merv Griffin deserved to die" | (189) |
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Photoshop these ladies rollerblading | (64) |
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It's official: we can unequivocally declare that it wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that there isn't reason to not believe that Fidel Castro may or may not be dead (maybe) | (147) |
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Man crashes motorcycle, lands in ditch. Survives 39 hours crawling on belly for water. Where is your Harley now? | (126) |
| (insidebayarea.com) | |
San Francisco area pot clubs shut down for being "dangerous enterprises". If bolstering the stock prices of Taco Bell and Nabisco is dangerous, submitter is Evel Knievel | (65) |
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What kind of idiot would detonate homemade bombs inside a garbage can? The same kind of idiot that would do so while on probation and while also carrying marijuana | (33) |
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AAA was in favor of $3,000 speeding tickets before it was against them | (66) |
| (KPHO) | |
Sex with homeless vampires is probably not a good idea | (109) |
| (Some Plaid Guy) | |
Today's 5-hour police standoff with an empty house brought to you by Hutchinson, KS | (47) |
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Australia's $84 million porn filter cracked by student in 30 minutes | (120) |
| (News Groper) | |
MSNBC gets duped by parody website, quotes fake Al Sharpton as real | (67) |
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NFL suspends Vick indefinitely: It's a dog-eat-dog world, and he's wearing MilkBone underwear | (334) |
| (Some tree hugger) |  |
Environmental group throwing concert wants city to uproot 15 trees because they block the view of the stage | (75) |
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Oh give me a curb, in a Colorado 'burb, where the dogs and the antelope play | (55) |
| (Metro) | |
Bikini mermaid fun disturbed by anarchist protestor sharks. No, really | (61) |
| (Bloomberg) | |
Remains of last Russian tsar's children believed found, although some believe these findings are Bolshevik | (37) |
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"Excuse me, I'd like to buy your B-52" | (149) |
| (WAAY-TV) | |
Pissed off 19-year-old urges MySpace users to kill cops after his car is impounded. Hilarity ensues | (112) |
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Man gets a 172 MPH speeding ticket in a rental car. In other news, there are rental cars that are capable of speeds faster than 37 mph | (93) |
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Denver Catholic archdiocese decides that pilgrims can't have sects inside church | (30) |
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"Police say the suspect hid inside a sweltering port-a-john on a hospital construction site until a police K-9 unit caught his scent and flushed him out." That's some fine metaphor work there, Lou | (30) |
| (insidebayarea.com) | |
Man charged with 14 counts of stalking and 3 counts of felony threats--to a list of people including "Star Trek" actress Jeri Ryan and a half-dozen wrestlers--declared mentally unfit to stand trial. Live long and stalk her | (81) |
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Let's play a game called "Not It". Todays contestants are the Federal Government and the State of Maryland. Timer starts when the highway bridge begins crumbling | (41) |
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17-year-old Bergen County Academies student in New Jersey achieves the dream, hacks the iPhone | (158) |
| (Dalton Daily Citizen) | |
Madness? "THIS IS MIDDLE SCHOOL" | (602) |
| (Maryland Coast Dispatch) | |
Two arrested in naked, drunken rodeo with wild horses and attempted nude deer tackling. Did we mention the deer are only three feet tall? | (46) |
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People involved in coastal Australian developments need to be more aware of disturbing underwater artifacts that have not been found and may not exist | (27) |
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Guys who look like cavemen are total chick magnets... and can save you a bundle of money on car insurance | (108) |
| (CentreDaily) | |
FedEx plane makes emergency landing due to pilot sniffing glue | (92) |
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The oceans that were becoming less salty because of global warming are now becoming more salty because of global warming | (420) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Theme: Le Farque. Photoshop what Fark.com might look like if it were hosted in France | (104) |
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Finnish youth fined for putting singing teacher on YouTube. Maybe "Karaoke of the mental hospital" was an unfitting title | (30) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Problem: City denies liquor license for topless bar. Solution: Topless bar becomes full-nude strip club | (94) |
| (Charleston Daily Mail) | |
Teacher records colleague ranting and raving at students in classroom. Teacher is then charged with felony wiretapping. Thank you, Patriot Act, for protecting our great nation against these evil-doers | (91) |
| (North West Evening Mail) | |
Man recieves postcard from his missing wheelie bin telling him that it's alive and well and has eloped to Germany with a bin from down the road | (28) |
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South African mayor wants his city's name changed because it translates to "bull's testicles". French Lick, Indiana, Intercourse, Pennsylvania and Crappo, Maryland unimpressed | (95) |
| (NBC13) | |
If you're going to shoot at an SUV at a red light, try to wait until a police officer is NOT right behind the car you're shooting | (75) |
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Two words that never should go together: luxury lederhosen | (42) |
| (New York Sun) | |
NYC cabbies threaten to strike over a proposed law that would require GPS devices in their cabs. Subby's sure it's got nothing to do with the occasional cab driver taking tourists on a 10 mile trip to go from Times Square to 49th Street | (85) |
| (earthtimes.org) |  |
Choy Ah Moy found dead in bed. The maid dismayed, cops said she fled. Found her, bound her, put her in a cell. 'Tis the last time she'll eat Taco Bell. *snap* | (42) |
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Old and Busted: Swimsuit calendars. New Hotness: Men of the morgue (w/video) | (35) |
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Marine drill instructor charged with 225 counts of abusing worthless maggots | (234) |
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China declares war on tainted products. Democrats respond angrily, demand that China give sanctions more time to work | (66) |
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Vick officially enters guilty plea, here is the full PDF of the plea agreement | (277) |
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Man leaves dead mother in her armchair for two years. ABC finally learns where the one "According to Jim" viewer lives | (83) |
| (War) | |
Jet Li will kick your ass with style. (Sponsored Link) | (130) |
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If you test positive for marijuana and work for the NYPD, be more creative than saying that your wife must have spiked your meatballs | (91) |
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Activist displays his wrath, throws grapes at school board members | (66) |
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Major League Baseball is selling NYY caps with gang symbol emblems in Harlem. NBA can't believe they didn't think of this first | (196) |
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Do you know who else liked WW2 propaganda board games? Churchill, that's who | (38) |
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Iraqi Intelligence Report states the obvious: the next six months should see the Iraqi government growing more stable and less sectarian. Nah, just kidding. It's going down faster than Lindsay Lohan at an after party | (186) |
| (NBC 30) | |
How to end up charged with a Class D terrorism felony while out for a jog | (218) |
| (Post-Gazette) | |
Apparrently, it's illegal for adult women to take a 12 year old boy to a whorehouse -- even if it's her treat. Who knew? | (107) |
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When you're a member of the military and trying to "blog anonymously" about your wacko politics, it's best not to post your picture and description on your 'howtokillpeople.com' website | (71) |
| (Some Guy) | |
M5 V10 powered GT at Frankfurt. It's....it's beautiful | (117) |
| (Halifax Herald) | |
Woman claims discrimination after being forcefully introduced to local bar's "No Fat Chicks" policy | (567) |
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That story about the Australian Prime Minister's office modifying Wikipedia entries? Yeah, the reporters got the IP address wrong and the office never modified anything | (21) |
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The real reason Burning Man attendees are called "Burners?" The feeling they experience when they urinate | (191) |
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Michael Vick's father says he asked Vick to stop the dogfighting, and that people should stop sugarcoating what Vick did. Suck it, NAACP | (104) |
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Astronomers find "hole in universe." Voice of Ed Harris urges against exploring further | (337) |
| (Twins-Falls Times News) | |
Insurance company sends a private fire department to a wildfire zone in an effort to protect only the homes owned by their more wealthy clients | (137) |
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British woman goes for weeks without showering, skincare products as an experiment. When asked how she felt, she replied "Je me sens très bien. Un peu graisseux, mais rien trop mauvais" | (98) |
| (WBZ-TV) | |
Patient dies after neurosurgeon operates on the wrong side of the man's brain. Family has half a mind to sue for malpractice | (96) |
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Police profess participation as protestor poseurs | (143) |
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Viagra makes men feel like cuddling. Yea, that's the ticket | (95) |
| (AM 900 CHML) | |
Man gets angry at bees buzzing his home, flicks lit cigarette at them which lands in the eaves trough, igniting leaves and twigs which leads to the entire home burning down. That'll larn those durn bees | (61) |
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Fark's favourite astronaut wants tracker removed. Because it's not like she's going to drive cross-country wearing a diaper again | (64) |
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Man decides that putting on pants is simply too much trouble just for a simple high-speed police chase | (29) |
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Hell Pizza removes its billboard adverts that showed Adolf Hitler returning the Nazi salute with a piece of pizza in his hand. (with pic of the allegedly offensive billboard salute) | (354) |
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Judge orders yet another shoplifter to walk around town wearing a large sign that says, "I stole from a local store." (pic) | (70) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Caption this confounded queen | (119) |
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New documents show that the US has given troops permission to enter Pakistan without permission or notification of Pakistani government. This should end well | (236) |
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The Big Mac turns 40, outliving many of its fans | (147) |
| (Some Girl) | |
Photoshop this space-station model thingy | (66) |
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When calling the cops about the burglars on the roof, make sure you let them know you're not the burglar when they arrive | (47) |
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