Sun July 29, 2007
 |
 |
Mysterious sightings of a bird with a ten-foot wing span continue in San Antonio. "I think if you do see it, then you might wind up missing" | (37) |
 |
 |
Dead relative tells man to cook the world's largest pierogi | (26) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Bar worker drives drunken patrons home in their own cars, then gets motorcycle from trunk, returns to bar, and does it all over again | (56) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Photoshop this birdie | (55) |
 |
 |
There's nothing quite like spending $536,000 on a civil rights trial only to be awarded $2 | (78) |
 |
 |
Garlic capital of the world losing its garlic to accommodate urban sprawl. Will soon be known as just another town south of San Francisco you can't afford | (120) |
 |
 |
Monster jumping fish striking people at record pace in stretch of water (with jumping fish pics) | (55) |
| (Some Guy) | |
You know that $27.00 a month water bill you've been getting for the last few years? Sorry, we have been charging you the wrong rate. Please pay us $1,500.00 this month to make up for the difference. Thank you | (156) |
 |
|
Surgeons use the glow of cell phones so they could have enough light to finish an operation during a power failure at a hospital | (62) |
| (Venice Gondolier) | |
Suppose for a moment that Ferris Bueller grew up, moved to Florida, and became a teacher. No need to get Hollywood scriptwriters, because the story would end up almost exactly like this | (69) |
 |
 |
Cities now fight gang violence the American way: by suing them | (83) |
 |
|
Berlin residents go bugfark crazy trying to block opening of new McDonalds. Why do Germans hate freedom? | (177) |
 |
|
Not News: Package falls of a truck. News: Blocks major thoroughfare in San Diego. Fark: It's a 200-ton US Navy ship engine (w/ pic of crushed car goodness) | (109) |
 |
|
Scientists create world's first schizophrenic mice using interbreeding patterns of Floridians | (90) |
 |
|
Last known surviving British soldier from WWI, 109, revisits former battlefield. Submitter salutes, stays well clear of his lawn, trench | (175) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Boy hatches duckling from supermarket eggs | (101) |
 |
 |
Meditators claim their vibrations will boost stock market above 17,000, create utopia | (57) |
 |
 |
Steve Martin gets married, receives a Thermos as a wedding gift. And that's ALL he needs ... and this chair | (167) |
 |
 |
Caption Michael Vick's reaction when he heard that his posse was selling him out | (240) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Genius crashes brand new super-yacht 30 seconds after it leaves dry dock, with pics | (289) |
|
|
Surprised hardware store employees get a primer on childbirth as woman gives birth in paint aisle to a lovely shade of infant. Employees note that she already looks thinner | (68) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this wanderer | (83) |
 |
 |
Happy birthday and welcome to the 35-44 age bracket, Wil | (249) |
 |
|
Dear Editor: My mobile home is a gift from God | (144) |
| (Boston Channel) |  |
Massachusetts bans Internet hunting. You can take my cyberrifle from my cold dead hands | (166) |
|
 |
Karma stops and catches its breath after 18 year pursuit; imprisoned stalker who killed actress Rebecca Schaeffer recovering from 11 stab wounds | (112) |
 |
|
Cool, I found another geckoooOOoooooooooooohhhhhh | (73) |
| (Hampton Roads) |  |
Employee who won the last truck produced at Ford's defunct Norfolk, VA plant puts it on E-Bay. Ford spokeswoman says they're "disappointed." "Disappointed" and "Ford," what a combo | (166) |
 |
|
Bank issues their customer service representatives a manual that explains how to hardball customers into giving up on their effort to seek refunds for bank overcharges unless they are "very ill or dying" | (173) |
 |
|
Man with no sense of smell tells police he had no idea his wife's body was in the back room of their home for three days, he just thought she had left him | (52) |
|
|
A moving pillowcase was found on beach with a note that said "Live Gator - Please find him a home" | (17) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Colleges are starting to adjust their fees according to the degree. Engineering majors are going to pay more, but liberal arts majors may finally only have to pay what their degree is worth | (222) |
 |
|
Images of mah bukket. fading. fading. into blackness. so cold | (248) |
 |
|
Photoshop this hat | (40) |
 |
|
DeLorean likely to return to production. Flux capacitor comes standard | (155) |
 |
|
You're not a very good robber if your plans are foiled by somebody holding a gas nozzle | (21) |
| (sky.com) | |
Is that a bicycle lodged in your crotch, or are you really happy to see me? | (36) |
|
 |
Illinois town that has the largest ketchup bottle in the world decides to build the worlds largest ketchup packet | (54) |
Sat July 28, 2007
|
|
Government plan to build more affordable homes blocked by homebuilders who make more money slapping up million-dollar McMansions on 40-foot lots | (143) |
|
|
MI6 did not give information about Osama bin Laden's location to the USA because the CIA would not promise he would not be tortured | (581) |
|
|
If you've ever cut the crust off of a peanut butter and jelly sammich or used a laser pointer to tease your cat, you might owe somebody a royalty | (59) |
 |
|
Finding baseball cards to be somewhat passe, 12-year-old boy has taken to collecting vacuum cleaners ... so far 165 of them | (75) |
| (WKYC) | |
Man makes life-sized cutouts of his kids to convince speeders to slow down, expects to be back in the news in a month or so | (62) |
|
|
88-year-old becomes Eagle Scout | (68) |
| (Some Guy) | |
If you died today, would your spouse know to turn the sprinklers off in the winter or even how to pay the cable bill online? | (163) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Disney drops plan for Mickey Mouse wine. Surly, Remorseful and Sleazy unavailable for comment | (47) |
 |
|
Judge orders 73-year-old man convicted in scam to gather scrap metal for fake soldiers' memorial to clean real veterans memorial with a toothbrush | (54) |
| (The Star) |  |
Student who strangled teacher after being punished for being noisy in the bathroom, "may be suspended" | (57) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Iron Photoshop theme: Humanize an inanimate object found at your work | (67) |
| (Some Lawyer) | |
Michael Vick facing charges in second federal civil suit...this one written by hand by a prison inmate | (133) |
|
 |
Sara Lee's new ad campaign slogan, "The Joy Of Metal Shards Ripping Your Gums Open" coming to a billboard near you | (48) |
|
|
On the first sunny day in months, builders in London manage to unearth unexploded WWII warhead from V1 rocket, driving everyone safely back indoors | (81) |
 |
|
Whatchoo gonna do, Vince McMahon, when Congress requests all records relating to your drug-testing policy from you, brother? | (116) |
|
|
"Jesus Christ is crucified and resurrected here six days a week" | (98) |
 |
 |
Can you tell that a woman is single and unlaid just from her apartment? | (208) |
|
|
"Polar Madness" research may be applied to future space missions. Shiny Red Button approves | (44) |
 |
 |
What song would you like your favorite band to cover? | (478) |
 |
|
Microbial scientist discovers new life form at Yellowstone National Park that converts light into energy. Researchers from around the world fascinated, unaware that scientists existed at the microbial level | (101) |
| (WTMJ-TV Milwaukee) | |
Three thieves attempt smash-and-grab of ATM from convenience store, forgetting that ATMs are bolted to the floor. Hilarity ensues (with video) | (55) |
|
 |
A man who decided to clean out his car was fined $100 for littering .... in a garbage can | (88) |
|
|
Sheik delays flight for three hours after finding out three of his female relatives were seated next to men they didn't know. The flight was eventually cleared for takeoff after airline personnel kicked the Sheik off the plane | (336) |
| (The beetles.) | |
Theme: Photoshop a graphical representation of your favorite artist or band. LGT inspiration | (222) |
 |
|
Offender is advised by judge to give up crime because "you are clearly not very good at it" | (16) |
 |
|
Researchers study the viability of the five-second rule. Here comes the science | (55) |
 |
|
Lake Tahoe employs bear whisperer to curb rampant taco theft | (18) |
 |
 |
Can today be Caturday? | (505) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Not surprising: 36% of web traffic to the UK is from the United States. Surprising: the second-highest referrer is Fark.com | (75) |
|
|
Sacred Bull in Great Britain had to be slaughtered because it had TB; now if only the US would adopt those rules for asshats trying to fly with the disease | (23) |
|
|
The GOP could lose the support of Christians because of their stance on poverty, human rights, and climate change | (285) |
|
|
USPS driver in Syracuse damages parcel containing ancient Indian artifacts, tries to cover up his clumsiness by setting fire to them. Didn't work | (58) |
 |
|
Great White Shark spotted off coast of England, causing panic among Great White Pasty Brits (w/ incongruous pics) | (64) |
|
|
27-year-old man told police "I can't feel my legs. I got what I deserved" after being shot in the throat by a 93-year-old man he had struck at least 50 times in the head with a soda can | (62) |
| (Some Guy) | |
State Supreme Court upholds double secret probation to prevent Delta House toga parties | (29) |
| (Palm Beach Post) | |
Farmers Market, old people, vehicle, Florida...you know the drill | (24) |
|
|
Bird that hangs out at pub and drinks beer from a glass is cute, until someone points out "he's a carrion crow which feeds off dead animals" (with pic) | (57) |
 |
|
Man sues McDonald's for 13 cents | (86) |
 |
|
Japanese teacher horrified after discovering summer homework assignment for students contained obscene English expressions for having sex; also ensures "How I Spent My Summer Vacation" essays to be best ever | (44) |
|
|
Six out of ten U.S. CrackBerry users admit checking their messages in bed | (55) |
| (Some Guy) | |
"British teens admit they commit crimes, carry knives, use drugs and alcohol and realize they scare adults, but they complain they are getting a bad rap in the media" | (32) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Fred Phelps' attempt to erect anti-gay statue in Matthew Shepard's hometown goes flaccid. This is the second time he couldn’t get it up | (303) |
|
|
Cheney to briefly hand over the presidency to George W. Bush later today | (81) |
|
|
Zsa Zsa's husband found naked in his Rolls Royce, babbling about three female robbers | (40) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this athlete | (44) |
Fri July 27, 2007
|
|
Man in a kilt, along with a naked woman, arrested after ignoring a cease and desist order while having sex in someone's backyard | (80) |
|
|
Reverend who "always keeps a gun and handcuffs in his fanny pack" nabs thief trying to steal a car from his church parking lot | (100) |
| (officer.com) | |
Cop who lost sense of smell may lose job. Bad: Can't smell booze on suspects. Good: Can't smell suspects | (38) |
 |
|
Here's a great idea. Take a cougar to a four-year old's birthday and take it off the leash | (114) |
| (Some KOCK) | |
We now go live to our KUNT-watch Doppler 5 weather center | (153) |
|
|
Seven-year old accidentally swallows metal mouth "grill" -- waits for the only way it can exit (with X-ray pic goodness) | (103) |
| (The Whig) | |
Idiot sent to jail for destroying surveillance camera, even after he explains to police that he "didn't like the way it was looking at him" | (26) |
| (NBC 4) | |
Step 1: Implant fake boar tusks on your dental assistant and then have to pay $250,000 in the lawsuit. Step 2: Sue your insurance company for $750,000, plus the $250,000, plus lawyer fees. Step 3: Over $1 million profit | (100) |
 |
|
The Weekly World News is ending publication. Photoshop their last edition's cover | (98) |
 |
|
If you're considering having surgery done in a shopping mall, you're also probably not the reading type. But for the rest of the us, the risks are... well, the tag says it all | (35) |
|
|
Pharmacists sue for the right to impose their religious beliefs on their customers. Suck it, sluts | (863) |
|
|
Britain to build Muslim-only jails because terrorists don't want to have to serve time with infidels | (241) |
| (Orange County Register) | |
Caption what this surfer is thinking | (103) |
 |
|
"What does God need with a 'Second Life'"? | (137) |
|
|
Man gets carjacked by the driver of a wrecked 2007 Corvette after he stops to help the stranded motorist | (76) |
| (KPHO) | |
Two helicopters crash while covering police pursuit in Phoenix. Three dead | (544) |
|
|
Headline: "Marijuana may increase psychosis risk". Article: "Researchers said they couldn't prove that marijuana use itself increases the risk of psychosis" | (310) |
 |
|
Bank employees put the smackdown on a would-be robber. No bank money for you, not yours | (57) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Sheriff's Deputy assaults, arrests NC couple for displaying American flag upside down | (399) |
 |
|
Those evil Democrats are responsible for the declining stock market, crashing housing market, and for killing your childhood pet | (177) |
| (reason.com) | |
Man sentenced to 25 years in prison for drug trafficking because he was in possession of 58 pills... that were legally prescribed to him | (210) |
| (That Guy) | |
State College, PA Fark party tonight: 9 p.m. Cafe 210 | (76) |
 |
|
64 year old man beats the snot out of would-be drug store robber with a cane. DO NOT GO ON HIS LAWN | (55) |
 |
|
Man didn't eat or sleep while quietly transporting a dime worth $1.9 million from San Jose to New York | (156) |
 |
|
Today's "man sues Starbucks because he forgot hot tea is hot" brought to you by Wayne, New Jersey | (144) |
| (spontn80) | |
Bay Area FARKERS impromptu Fark Party at the Uptown Nightclub tonight. Fark N00b (my son) SisterGrizzly is playing there | (23) |
 |
|
Michael Moore subpoenaed by the Bush Administration. This should end well. Or not | (505) |
|
|
Economy growth is best in a year. Suck it, libs | (322) |
|
|
Final Reminder: DC Fark Party tomorrow, 7pm. First round of shots is on me | (379) |
|
|
Cops at the scene of a crash ask some woman to help translate for the victim. They then arrest the woman. And it's all caught on tape (with video) | (705) |
|
|
Feminist says Princess Diana was basically a nutbar and about as smart as a golden retriever | (198) |
|
|
(Drum Solo) (massive horn section) Don't say that you love me | (104) |
| (Weird Asia News) | |
Waitress sues co-worker after she is given the nickname "Looking For Death" | (61) |
 |
|
Teen busted pretending to be a cop while trying to get his girlfriend out of summer school. He should have stuck with the tried and tested dead grandma bit. Save Ferris | (51) |
| (evonet.ro) | |
The coolest 18-foot-long Lego aircraft carrier that you'll ever see floating on the water (pics) | (134) |
| (Free-Lance Star) | |
Clown robs CVS for drugs, possibly to ease pain of getting hit with ugly stick (see pics) | (55) |
 |
|
Ph-ph-ph-ph-photoshop this man-man-mannequin head head head | (87) |
|
|
JK Rowling says she won't stop writing just because Harry Potter is over. After all, she still needs one more Pacific island to complete her set | (245) |
 |
|
WIRED: Fark book gets reviewed on Wired.com. TIRED: Lame-o reviewer fails to thoroughly read book. WIRED: Drew fires back in comments. W00t | (482) |
|
|
Fully 70% of Americans believe Internet porn is "harmful." | (460) |
|
|
Ancient fake toe found near Cairo could be world's oldest prosthesis. Foreman still pissed about having to reset "Days since last workplace accident" sign | (41) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Microsoft technician travels aboard the Microsoft Across America traveling showroom, it is a 42-foot-long tractor-trailer he calls Windows on Wheels. Apple fans sit back, knowing it won't be long before he crashes | (141) |
|
|
Traffic warden issues her 500th parking ticket - after just seventeen days on the job. Obviously, there's no parking in her zone | (105) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Daycare owner finds out the hard way that it is a bad idea to construct a makeshift baby cage out of a crib, a piece of plastic, and a thirty-two pound dog cage | (60) |
| (Deseret News) | |
Man in critical condition after head-butting Werewolf | (82) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Chicago high school district tells home-schooler "Suck it" for third time when he begs to try out for local high school football team | (639) |
| (AP) | |
Port Authority approves barriers for New York Area Airports to prevent cars from speeding into terminals, presuming - incorrectly - that anyone can get their car above six miles an hour at a New York area airport | (40) |
| (Free-Lance Star) | |
Women fight, take break to call cops and wash off mace, resume fight | (41) |
| (Some Hominid) | |
Orangutan holds first solo exhibition in Germany. Right turn, Clyde | (30) |
 |
|
California Supreme Court rules that cities can't take and sell your property until you've actually been convicted of a crime | (97) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Little boy gets beaten up and his lemonade stand robbed. Community reaches out, replaces money and offers the kid safe spots to set up | (115) |
|
|
Man suspected of robbing banks in three states casually pulls up to a patrol car in an intersection and decides to confess. "I've got a bit of a gambling problem" | (11) |
|
 |
Remaining member of the vicious Heifer Gang still on the loose. Considered hoofed and extremely delicious | (25) |
| (Nepress) | |
Man arrested for rugby tackling a giant sausage in a savage display of meat-related violence | (38) |
|
|
Size doesn't matter, says world's tallest horse to world's smallest horse. With cute-ass pics | (90) |
 |
|
#219 in the list of Uses for Vicks VapoRub: It stops meerkats from fighting. Wait, what? | (63) |
| (The Local) | |
Seven docs miss three inch lollipop stick up boy's nose. Medical negligence board to decide whether they were dopey, sleepy, or just bashful | (59) |
 |
|
Uganda's "sex tree" at risk of being wiped out by guys who don't have wood | (38) |
|
|
Army doctors had suspicions that Pat Tillman was killed by three bullets to the head from 10 yards away | (314) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this lotus seed pod | (65) |
| (chippewa) | |
Remember the guys who dug up a corpse for sex based on the deceased chick's obit pic? Charges dropped; yep, it's still OK to have sex with stiffs in Wisconsin | (232) |
|
|
Hamster abandoned in rubbish pile rescued, becomes council office mascot | (23) |
 |
|
Ugly ass born(pics) | (34) |
 |
|
Environmentally conscious Edmontonian criminals have invented the cycle-by shooting | (27) |
|
|
Thief battered when he attempts to rob a fish-n-chips restaurant | (24) |
|
|
Have you heard how simply driving a new car off the lot reduces the price by 25 percent? It's a myth | (205) |
|
|
Hidden figures revealed in The Last Supper painting. Gallery of 5 pictures in link | (275) |
 |
|
Sixteen of the most amazing and strangest sites from Google Earth | (126) |
Thu July 26, 2007
|
|
Two killed, four injured in explosion in Mos Eisley | (88) |
 |
|
Dude gets jail time for photoshopping porn pics with his family member's faces | (90) |
 |
|
Nerd turns internet flame war into the real deal. Farkers don asbestos | (77) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this German fountain statue | (66) |
|
|
UR fired 4 sendg 38000 txtz yl u wr ment 2B drivN. U suck | (39) |
|
|
Aquafina to label what they actually put in those bottles. Don't tell anyone, but it's tap water | (178) |
|
|
Dumbass wannabe crook writes his name, address, and phone number on the back of every stolen check he cashed when sales clerks asked him for identification. Jailarity ensued | (8) |
|
|
Judge orders three men who pleaded guilty to soliciting sex to take turns dressing in a bright yellow chicken costume | (48) |
| (Indiana Gazette) |  |
Don't walk around in your underwear around your adopted daughter, or she just might set you on fire (with pics of teenage suspect) | (312) |
|
|
Grandmother who was carrying ice packs wrapped in duct tape and Muslim literature when boarding her flight is apparently the event that triggered the TSA 'wrapped velveeta cheese' warnings | (105) |
 |
|
The Rude Awakening of Optimus Prime | (54) |
| (myfoxphoenix.com) | |
That botulism hates these cans | (65) |
| (Rochester D&C) | |
Today's "Man busted for DWI on a lawnmower" story brought to you by Lyons, NY | (18) |
|
|
Nanny State goes 50 for 0 against common sense as utilities propose taking over control of homeowners' thermostats to reduce power consumption | (178) |
|
|
Tuberculosis-infected asshat released from the hospital, is now just a regular asshat | (39) |
|
 |
Kids: If you must stage a fake kidnapping in public, please do not try to convince cops later it was all just a "scavenger hunt" | (14) |
|
 |
Ugly ass baby orangu....Oh who am I kidding. Cutest little invisible keg drinking orangutan born | (47) |
| (DailyKOS) | |
DailyKOS begs Bill O'Reilly to stop his relentless persecution of their website. The traffic increase is hard on their servers | (415) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Li |