Sun July 22, 2007
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Personal responsibility continues to flee the country as woman sues tavern for 'allowing' her to dance on the bar | (1) |
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The ten best blogs for pets. Uh, thanks? | (9) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Sony To Apple: You're greedy and don't want other people to make money. In other words, Sony new business strategy is communism. | (26) |
| (St. Paul police) |  |
Presenting the latest batch of prostitution arrest photos from the St. Paul police department. BWAHAHAHAHA | (107) |
| (Huffington Post) | |
New York Times bans Harry Potter from its best seller list. Subby now has to start picking his literature from another source now that NYT's best seller list is part of the op-ed section | (111) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
Photoshop this unamused toddler being fingerprinted | (33) |
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Reading gap between boys and girls called "serious crisis." "Boys don't see a point to reading" | (74) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
20 other amazing uses for beer and vodka | (46) |
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Man who hired a detective to find out if his daughter was cheating on her husband finds out it was actually his wife that was cheating. Doh | (49) |
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OPEC official says that $60-$65 a barrel oil is "appropriate." However, $59 oil is very inappropriate | (56) |
| (Some Guy) |  |
12-year-old boy tries to help his family pay medical bills by opening a lemonade stand | (73) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Ever taken a milk crate to use in your dorm for storage? Well, criminal, you are part of "a thriving underground recycling network" | (98) |
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Judge orders rape charges dismissed because a translator can not be found for accused, who speaks an African dialect practiced by only 100,000 people world wide | (309) |
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Inexperienced recreational wheelchair riders please be advised that although the elevator is wheelchair accessible, the elevator shaft is not | (27) |
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Giant play sets can be seen from space | (79) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Honorary degrees handed out by universities "make a mockery" of the ones actually earned by students | (107) |
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Priest embezzles 200k from his parish so he can blow it on male strippers and shopping. If only there were some sort of instruction manual on how to help poor people, or something | (61) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Black student who applied for job with Ontario government not amused to find himself referred to as "ghetto dude" in inter-office government emails | (120) |
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Buicks made in China for Chinese market superior to US products because Chinese "expect" high quality. GM to Americans: suck it | (170) |
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The FEMA fund set up to help Ground Zero workers who got sick or hurt has spent $75 million on lawyers and expenses. It has paid out $45,000 to some guy who fell off a ladder | (85) |
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They are building a subway line underneath Amsterdam. What could possibly go wrong? | (70) |
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Chihuahua saves one-year-old from rattler by jumping in front of toddler and taking the bites itself. Your dog doesn't want snake | (88) |
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Photoshop this firetruck | (63) |
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Remember that $3.20 a gallon gas? This is what it paid for | (161) |
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Woman decides that giving her baby up for adoption was a bad idea. Her solution: An armed raid with her sister and another man to take the baby back | (40) |
| (PonderAbout) |  |
Physicist Brian Greene shows how M Theory can account for the "amazing weakness" of gravity | (286) |
| (CityNews) | |
Moon landing footage digitally remastered into HD, so you can totally see the strings and cables now (w/ video) | (231) |
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Australia to name park after Steve Irwin. "Welcome to the 'Crikey... That Thing Has A Nasty Stinger' Park, enjoy your visit" | (81) |
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Buddhist businessman wants to call his Chinese restaurant Fat Buddha, told he can't because it might upset Buddhists | (124) |
| (Seacoast online.com) |  |
I'm coming home, I've done my time, but the city say those yellow ribbons aren't mine, if you put up a ribbon, than you support the war, does anyone remember what the ribbons really for, what the ribbons really for | (142) |
| (Some Guy) | |
"Dear Amp'd customer. As of 12:01 a.m. July 24th Amp'd mobile will terminate service with all subscribers. We apologize and thank you for your patronage. P.S. we apologize for telling you this via a text message." | (163) |
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Deaf woman sleeps through entire five-hour police seige waking only when a police dog sent inside sank his teeth into her arm | (87) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Take heed, lil' gangster wannabes: if you go around flashing goofy fake gang signs, make sure it's not around undercover gang officers or you might find yourself facing very real criminal charges | (142) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this panhandler | (86) |
| (KOLO-TV) |  |
NV police arrest three suspects in interstate crime ring that burglarized dead people's homes during funerals. You never see a U-Haul behind a PMITA prison bus | (38) |
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You attempt to jump a 10-foot opening over a mineshaft, do you a) get the respect of your friends b) a kiss from that pretty girl or c) 1,000 feet of death? | (207) |
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Newt Gingrich claims that the U.S. has been fighting a phony war since 9/11. The families of the over 3500 U.S. coalition casualties may tend to disagree | (321) |
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"So a fox walks into a steakhouse. The waiter says, 'What'll you have?' The fox says 'I'm in a hurry... I'll take whatever you've got on hand.'" | (50) |
| (PostBulletin) |  |
Miss North Dakota challenges Miss Michigan to an ultimate fighting competition | (39) |
| (NoOhioTag???) | |
Not news: Two sisters had their pets taken away. News: Pets included bear cubs and lion. Fark: They were living inside a double wide trailer | (20) |
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Neo-Nazi compared to MacGyver after escape plot is uncovered, despite his insistence that aliens dug hole behind his toilet (w/ scary mugshot) | (46) |
| (SFScope) | |
Weekly World News shutting down. Suck it, Batboy | (153) |
| (The Daily Advance) | |
Board member votes against permitting for tattoo parlors, saying they're adult businesses because "body parts may be exposed". Doctor's offices and tanning salons next to be declared hotbeds of heathen nakedness | (55) |
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Power outage in the St. Louis Arch traps 240 inside. If there was only an invention to help people walk down to the ground floor without electricity | (65) |
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Photoshop Prince Charles as he "inspects the troops" | (53) |
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LA port clerks present final offer: They're allowed free Gatorade and get to close the store to play hockey | (37) |
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How do you say redneck in South Africa? Hint: any conversation that includes "...and this here is my pet hippo" | (28) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Want to search a guy for drugs? Take a hint from these Texas cops: just remove the guy's license plate, and then pull him over for not having it | (163) |
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Reason number 67 to be a hero: FREE BEER | (18) |
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Today's "runaway hay wagon of chaos and hellfire" story brought to you by Hart Township, Michigan | (16) |
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Armed gang kidnaps one of the world's top RPG gamers after one criminal's girlfriend lured him into a fake date using Orkut. Wait, it gets better | (75) |
Sat July 21, 2007
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Old and busted: Man vs. robot in super chess challenge. New hotness: Man vs. robot in super Texas Hold'em challenge | (62) |
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Driver hits bus, does what anybody would do after an accident: he gets out of his car and drops his pants | (28) |
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US Air Force wants to cover terrorists with goo | (53) |
| (Columbia Tribune) | |
Today's "Boat explodes after boaters try to start it with a flathead screwdriver" story brought to you by Missour-uh | (44) |
| (ChicagoPoetry) | |
Chicago police raid dangerous poetry event in art gallery | (49) |
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Tammy Faye dead at 65. Mourners turn rivers black with mascara | (527) |
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President Bush's doctors find no weapons of ass destruction in his colon, just five polyps described as "small and not worrisome" | (97) |
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Alabama most ruthless state for foreclosures. Cletus can lose his trailer in as little as 30 days | (85) |
| (Some Guy) | |
After 14 years in Canadian loony bin, man's condition upgraded to "should have been treated for multiple sclerosis". Oops | (74) |
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Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Barry Bonds | (62) |
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Aiming a green laser beam at a police helicopter from your house may get you a "change of address" | (116) |
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Woman upset former roommate stole her identity, arrested for prostitution using her name. Double Bonus: Roommate is transsexual who's hotter than she is | (169) |
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In Israel, it's apparently legal to offer advice based on tarot cards and the stars, but use of coffee grounds will get you indicted | (46) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop these fire hosers | (57) |
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The media fear mongering will begin soon. Cue wave of ASCII headlines | (114) |
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Don't tell Argentina, but now would be a perfect time to invade the Falklands | (138) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Belgium does not exist and don't let those walking around calling themselves "Belgian" fool you | (160) |
| (Red Skeleton) | |
Chiropractors get boned by New Jersey. Hero tag for legislators who had the spine to curtail these charlatans activities | (412) |
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Woman faces prosecution for criminal damage after planting a kiss on a painting | (88) |
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Woman keeps 9 adults and teens handcuffed in her home for years. With mugshot goodne... OMG IT'S A MAN, BABY | (141) |
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All of your fears have come true: President Cheney | (222) |
| (Some Sad Cookie Cat) |  |
Which LOLCat are you? | (387) |
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Kellogg's is going to stop marketing unhealthy cereals to children. Photoshop some of their new cereal advertisements. LGT inspiration | (123) |
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OxyContin can produce a heroin-like high if taken improperly. In other news, Ric Romero now works for CNN | (96) |
| (WDBJ7.com) | |
Today's weather: Sunny, High 85. Tomorrow's weather: Unavailable - Virginia State Police detonate outdoor weather reporting station because it looked "suspicious" | (70) |
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Rural Canadian valley plans to be cell phone free and stay that way | (52) |
| (Bradenton Herald) | |
Old and busted: Wheelchair basketball. New hotness: Wheelchair gator hunting. "His wheelchair started to tilt and we were scared he was gonna become meals on wheels" | (22) |
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Anderson Cooper visits the "penis emporium." Not a bar in the Meatpacking District, but a restaurant in Beijing | (48) |
| (WMC-TV) | |
Tennessee deputy sheriff found passed-out drunk behind wheel at red light had previously been suspended after passing out at T.J. Mulligans with his handgun | (42) |
| (Wikipedia) | |
Photoshop this Boer goat | (67) |
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Is there any doubt that Paula Abdul is the next Anna Nicole Smith? | (150) |
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An estimated 260,000 Brits are engaged in a secret affair, collectively spending £60m a month. In other news, people having a secret affair in Britain suprisingly willing to give out information to some website | (45) |
| (Some Guy) | |
British women say they would rather apply a fake tan or lie on a sunbed than do some exercise in order to look good - which kind of explains a lot | (90) |
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The Georgia Revenue Department has $683 million dollars of uncashed checks, bond dividends, stocks, coins and abandoned safe deposit boxes just waiting for someone to claim them | (57) |
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El Salvador to seek Romero beatification, the first step on the road to becoming the patron saint of obviousness | (53) |
Fri July 20, 2007
| (WRAL) | |
Man tries to burglarize a police dog training facility. Hilarity ensues. "For anyone to try to run from a whole unit of canines, it's just a no-win situation." | (47) |
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Forty percent of Toronto street meat carts not meeting health standards... No sh*t, Sherlock. Then check the hot dogs, Watson | (67) |
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Cowardly lion's head stolen from Wizard of Oz display. Widow of the man who built it hopes someone finds the courage to return it | (34) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Man claims his landlords keep trying to steal his prized showerhead. "It's the world's best showerhead" | (149) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop these posers | (98) |
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Turns out the vast underground lake that Boston researchers claimed could end the conflict in Sudan's Darfur region probably dried up between 5,000 and 25,000 years ago | (84) |
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Washington Post reveals that Hillary showed cleavage on the Senate floor. Why they're looking at Hillary's cleavage, no one knows (article includes pic of cleavage) | (251) |
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Beatles fans trash song use for diaper ad. Depends considers use of When I'm Sixty-Four | (117) |
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CalDOT closes highway after road construction workers get hit by BBs, burritos, the occasional elderly driver | (105) |
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Cheese magnate pays $10,000 fine for illegally building a private airstrip. Subby moves Astronaut and Fireman to No. 2 and No. 3 on his list of things to do when he grows up. No. 1? Cheese Magnate | (140) |
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Charleston SC Fark Party Tomorrow, Gene's Haufbrau | (47) |
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Tennessee couldn't find 1,000 people to pay an extra $35 for a specialty Elvis license plate. So some fan from New Jersey stepped in | (91) |
| (KCCI) | |
If you built a duct tape roadblock, the Mason City, Iowa police department would like to have a word with you | (157) |
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Elderly couple with $1.63 tax bill problem get to keep their home | (99) |
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Canada's top court rules that pointing your finger at someone and saying "BANG" is the same as using a real gun | (222) |
| (National Geographic) | |
Photoshop this Italian gondola competition | (87) |
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Congress keeps public-broadcasting funding intact, rejecting notions that PBS and NPR are "too liberally biased" to maintain funding | (742) |
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Teenage driver who caused fatal car-crash as she sent text message is given four years in prison. When she asked for a shorter sentence, she was offered 4 YRS N PRSN | (242) |
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Inmate mistakenly released 36 years early from attempted murder sentence, finds his victim at a bar and... apologizes? | (169) |
| (FOX19) | |
Pictures of Cincinnati couple caught having sex in median of roa... OH DEAR GOD MY EYES | (314) |
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College professor calls prices "immoral," eliminates textbook requirement | (329) |
| (Some Guy) | |
A man who trashed a hotel room, ran naked across Donald Lynch Boulevard, pulled a fire alarm and bit a bank employee on Monday was described in a police report as a crack addict. You don't say? | (43) |
| (ksdk.com) | |
So if I'm shoplifting, and a cop who is driving to the store to arrest me dies in an accident, I'm guilty of murder? | (561) |
| (Greatest. Blotter. Ever.) | |
Sunday, June 17 1:38 a.m.: A squadron of drummers, like six / Used Stewart Park's swingset for kicks / They throttled the skins / Till coppers weighed in / And the wee-hour bopfest was nixed | (33) |
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Bush to have colonoscopy as doctors attempt to find his head; Cheney to take temporary control | (322) |
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Just another day in Jersey City: A woman finds a six-foot-long missile launcher on her front lawn, which happens to be in the flight path of Newark International Airport | (181) |
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Today's "pro wrestler found dead" story brought to you by New Hampshire | (80) |
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Study finds the more exposure middle school students have to anti-smoking ads, the more likely they are to smoke | (157) |
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Man claims he has "mental problems" after shooting at "Iraqis" running loose in neighbor's backyard. Guess which state | (73) |
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TSA slowly waking up to the fact that feeling your balls and taking your spork may not be the best way to prevent terrorist attacks | (242) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Just another day in the life of the Sandusky police -- called to a gas station to settle a brawl between two cousins who were fighting over biscuits (second item) | (52) |
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Chrysler mistakes YouTube for all of Internet in fight to pull down Dodge dog electrocution video | (83) |
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C-Span's Brian Lamb: "Who cares if a movie star has an opinion unless the person is very well informed? We're overly interested in having a celebrity culture" | (142) |
| (Der Spiegel) | |
"Tiny brain no problem for French tax official" | (59) |
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"The performance of the Department of Veterans Affairs has contributed substantially to our sense of national shame." Forty years later, court rules VA must pay benefits to Vietnam veterans harmed by Agent Orange | (120) |
| (WCHS) | |
Cattle hauler overturns on Interstate 64. Most likely a steering problem | (94) |
| (Timesnews.net) | |
At last, the perfect solution to America's woes: Ban Harry Potter books, beat your children, ignore scientists, deny welfare to all sinners and, of course, live your life by the Bible | (772) |
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Senator Byrd (D-ramatic) wants to have Michael Vick executed for dogfighting. Funny, who knew the Senate had that power | (553) |
| (National Geographic) | |
Thirty-eight years ago today, half a billion people watched some guy make one giant leap for mankind (with video) | (195) |
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Attempting to attach a propane tank to an already heated grill sometimes results in a fireball to the face. The more you know | (30) |
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Large World War II "gravity" bomb magicially appears near road -- trifecta of bombs/missiles found in Florida now in play (with bomb pics) | (81) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Theme: Create an Olympic logo for a city you think should get to be a host city (summer or winter). (Link goes to inspiration) | (108) |
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Seagull fingered filching Doritos. Dude... wait, what? | (53) |
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Not everyone can win Mother of the Year. But ditching four kids while you go into the woods to take nudie photos will give you a good shot at Best Supporting Babysitter | (120) |
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How far would you go to make sure your kids felt like winners? Would you drug a horse? | (52) |
| (Free-Lance Star) | |
Fired university president told cops he drank six bottles of cough syrup before getting two DUIs in two days. He needs to retake Chem 101 | (44) |
| (Times Argus) | |
Ben & Jerry's to unveil "Duff & D'oh-Nuts" ice cream at "The Simpsons" premier. Doughnuts: Is there anything they can't do? | (76) |
| (Some school) | |
Photoshop this excited Professor | (83) |
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Tip for the day: When you get that old urge to have some dude handcuff you and wrap your face in plastic, choose the aforementioned dude carefully | (23) |
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It's no wonder Bloomberg wants to charge money to enter Manhattan. He has employees who spend $4,000 a month on one SUV | (39) |
| (WJLA) | |
Hot dog vendor uses the old quarter-on-a-string trick to rip off parking meters outside the U.S. Department of Interior. It was a brilliant idea until he got caught | (42) |
| (Brooklyn Paper) | |
Why do Americans keep receiving Nigerian money transfer scams in their email? Because Americans keep falling for them | (68) |
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Congratulations to Winnipeg on its promotion to Canada's crime capital | (71) |
| (OC Register) | |
Woman passes bar exam on 14th try. Yeah, I'd hire her | (132) |
| (Law.com) | |
Gong show host, author and possible CIA agent Chuck Barris tries to evict his 85-year-old neighbor after she threatened him for using her herpes doctor | (44) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this guy gently touching his car | (257) |
| (WINK) | |
State Farm to drop 50,000 homeowners' insurance policies because they can | (118) |
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Costco finds its "Black Widow Surprise" surprisingly unpopular among people who bought its grapes | (88) |
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Roswell car dealership sends 50,000 scratch off promotional tickets to residents ... and all of them were the $50,000 grand prize winner. Cue the X-files music please | (65) |
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Detroit cop accused of replacing $2.4 million worth of cocaine from the evidence locker with powdered doughnuts. That's some fine police work there, Lou | (42) |
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Average worker goes into the red 27 days after payday | (104) |
| (Some Guy) | |
"West Memphis Three" case reopened, DNA evidence does not place the three convicted boys at the murder scene | (234) |
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Reign of terror of 12-year-old nicknamed "Chucky" finally brought to an end. "When he's drunk, he's out of control. Some have said that his behaviour is like that of an animal" (with mugshot goodness) | (202) |
Thu July 19, 2007
| (Palm Beach) | |
Mom wants schools to ban books filled with sin. There goes my trigonometry textbook | (257) |
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The coolest 11 pics of tiny computers you'll see today | (52) |
| (Variety.com) | |
Capitol Records has been ordered to pay the $70,000 legal bill of a woman it tried to sue for downloading music illegally | (112) |
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"If Americans keep gaining weight at the current rate, fat will be the norm by 2015." IN YOUR FACE, MILWAUKEE | (292) |
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Nike drops Zoom Vick V shoe set to come out in August. "We consider any cruelty to animals inhumane and abhorrent." That is, unless they can manufacture a pretty decent shoe | (108) |
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Having cured cancer, reversed global warming and figured out the plot from "Lost", scientists create a computer program that can beat you at checkers. Every time | (96) |
| (The Spec) | |
"The officer kept her firearm holstered, made no attempt to retaliate against assailant. Under use-of-force guidelines, she probably would have been justified in at least using a TASER to defend herself." | (74) |
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So the Catholic Church was all like "Uh huh", and a Baptist leader was all like "Nuh uh" | (206) |
| (WRAL) | |
Former baptist minister, totally against alcohol and gambling, but all for prostitution | (58) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Photoshop this grenade-chucker. Complete with chroma key screen goodness | (108) |
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Politician sends drug dealer profanity-laced letter. The Smoking Gun is there | (268) |
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Scientists insist Restless Leg Syndrome is a real disorder, like Beatlemania, or the dreaded Achy Breaky Heart | (298) |
| (WTOV.com) | |
Fark cliche busted again (with mugshot goodness) | (264) |
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Twenty cheap date ideas. Submitter regularly overdoes #1, which keeps #16 from happening | (181) |
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Old & Busted: Marijuana potency getting stronger. New Hotness: Wine potency getting stronger | (38) |
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Even if you think your 17-year-old student's breasts would make a great cell phone holder, you should just keep it to yourself. Especially if you're her driving instructor | (120) |
| (Some Guy) | |
Lion... cub... baby... gaahhh cuteness | (130) |
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Kentucky Christian group showing up at drug court cases to make sure offenders get what they "deserve". Bonus: a judge named Cletus is quoted | (254) |
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