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Incredulous authorities capture alligator in Long Island. It's probably one of those sewer ones that aren't supposed to exist |
(3) |
| (Crop Rotator) |
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Photoshop Farker Soundcow's bassist. Level of difficulty: No "American Gothic" |
(44) |
| (Storm Track) |
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"When the tornado reached us, it collapsed the building, blew out our windows, and tipped a parked semi tractor trailer onto the driver side front of Eric’s Xterra. We huddled in the center of the truck and shut our eyes" |
(19) |
| (The Daily Breeze) |
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"Airport security agents initially considered the odd assortment of objects in al-Maliki's rectum alarming enough to order an extra search of the flight he was planning to take" |
(31) |
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Moscow's secret suburb for billionaires |
(50) |
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Vietnam vet living on wooden raft anchored in Atlantic Ocean since March in attempt to raise $6 million for veterans' rehab. Has collected $500 so far |
(29) |
| (Craigslist) |
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Hey ladies, looking for a man with +20 spell magic to defend you from orcs and demons AND likes "moving pictures"? Look no futher (w/ awesome pic) |
(154) |
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Some guys wearing strange hats launch a drunken pig out of a cannon |
(54) |
| (Some Guy) |
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30 books every college student should read |
(194) |
| (Dickson Herald) |
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Boy playing with rifle accidentally shoots his eye out. Police haven't discussed the weapon, but sources suggest that it's Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Range Model Air Rifle |
(37) |
| (Some Cobra Guy) |
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12.9 litres, 8000rpm redline, 0-125mph in 4.9 seconds. All for your local "street-legal" beer run. Suck it, "super"cars |
(73) |
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"The 'gun-free zone turned out to be a fraud—not just because there were at least two guns on the campus last Monday, but in the sense that the college was promoting to its students a profoundly deluded view of the world" |
(274) |
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Jordanian parliament clears way for development of nuclear power. Board of Ominous Descriptions upgrades Middle East from "Shiat Storm" to "Hornet's Nest" |
(16) |
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Norwegian Cruise Line goes overboard in an attempt to cater to gamers while others have missed the boat. Sea for yourself |
(28) |
| (Some Guy) |
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18-year-old student takes 6-year-old girl with sickle cell anemia to his senior prom |
(120) |
| (Gulf News) |
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City Council up in arms against those sexy, sexy mannequins in their skimpy, see-through outfits. Those filthy plastic sluts |
(53) |
| (Some TFette) |
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Caption this overly enthusiastic queen |
(86) |
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♫ Three coins in the fountain. ♪ Plus two boobies and a cooch. ♫ |
(66) |
| (Some TFette) |
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Caption this serious observer |
(81) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Student suspended for wearing "I'm Straight" sticker. Jonathan Richman unavailable for comment, not that anyone outside of Boston will get this headline |
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Billboards, neon signs, bus stop ads, and even the Goodyear blimp - all described as "visual pollution" - have been banned in Sao Paulo, Brazil, since Jan. 1 |
(67) |
| (Lancaster Online) |
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Meet Cindy McVey, equine sports massage therapist. Your dog wants... no, lower.. lower...aah, right there |
(48) |
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British crime victims must pay police if they want the crime investigated |
(70) |
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Virginia Tech killer had a thing for buying rubber duckies on eBay. The Smoking Gun is there |
(164) |
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Pope is actually long-lost brother of Imelda Marcos |
(27) |
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Man calls 911 on his cell phone after getting a lap dance from the wrong woman |
(43) |
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Photoshop these police officers. Difficulty: No Village People |
(50) |
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Philadelphia police captain, at a rally to respond to the city's violence, finds himself on the scene of a shootout just outside the building-- in a place called Nicetown |
(28) |
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Judges tell unlicensed drivers if they drive again they'll be jailed. They agree and promptly drive away from the courthouse parking lot |
(90) |
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Taleban use 12-year-old boy to behead man accused of spying |
(260) |
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NYC pledges 1 million new trees by 2017. Al Gore expected to be one of them |
(68) |
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Prozac for puppies is now available. Your dog wants some luvin |
(50) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Happy Earth Day. What are you doing to make the Earth a better place? |
(328) |
| (Some Guy) |
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13-year-old girl wins $25,000 after she typed "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" faster than anyone else at the LG National Texting Competition |
(85) |
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Students break into park, torture crocodiles with catapults and sticks. Karmalarity ensues |
(180) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Eight birds of prey webcams for your nature-viewing pleasure |
(39) |
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All over the Skywaaay, all covered in cheeese |
(54) |
| (Morning Call Online) |
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National Center For Pulling Numbers Out Of Their Ass announces college students are more likely to win $1 million in the lottery than to be gunned down at school |
(77) |
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Girl takes up mission to try every available nacho in Boston |
(111) |
| (slickdeals) |
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Home Depot is giving away a million free N:Vision compact fluorescent light bulbs to customers who visit any Home Depot store on Earth Day, Sunday, April 22. It's no Guinness towel, but, hey, it's free |
(156) |
| (Jamaica Observer) |
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Goths in Jamaica more likely to attempt suicide. In other news, there are Goths in Jamaica |
(140) |
| (William & Mary) |
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Photoshop this tourist in the stockades |
(61) |
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Conch Republic celebrates 25th anniversary of its rebellion, secession from U.S |
(62) |
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Maine's webcam chicks fail to make it through the nor'easter |
(79) |
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Caption this car scene |
(92) |
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Vancouver man Godwins himself into the psych ward by walking around naked with a swastika taped to his chest on Hitler's birthday |
(40) |
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Man arrested for choking his ferret |
(79) |
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Australia enacted strict gun laws in 1996. Not one mass shooting since. Suck it guns |
(778) |
| (Beaumont Enterprise) |
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Young women flocking to convents due to aggressive promotional campaign. Submitter bemoans the removal of this easily duped segment of the female population from the ranks of the do-able |
(57) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Employee giggles and a malfunctioning switchblade foil a post office robbery in Oregon |
(29) |
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Seafarers warned to be on alert in Malacca Strait. Aye, there be pirates |
(43) |
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'Weekends are for drinking' and other things not to say in your resume |
(87) |
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Campaign workers for Al Gore told to "stand by" for presidential run |
(299) |
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Australian fence, built to keep dingoes and wild dogs out of sheep-grazing areas, is being destroyed by camels trying to have sex |
(29) |
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Taiwan, China want to remind everyone that they're still one of the world's most dangerous hotspots |
(51) |
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College drinking may lead to increased risk of heart disease, regretful hookups |
(42) |
| (The Local) |
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Testicles officially worth more than fallopian tubes. Because, ladies, you can't scratch your fallopians while you're watching TV |
(39) |
| (Some Bird) |
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Photoshop this close-up |
(47) |
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Prisoner wrongly freed after officials fail to realize that the typo-filled fax ordering his release, which had been sent from a nearby grocery store, was not legit |
(48) |
| (wchstv.com) |
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Drunk college chick tragically misunderstands friends' train bang suggestion |
(87) |
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20 comics that can change your life |
(229) |
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UK media just now figuring out the meaning of sneakers dangling from a power line |
(79) |
| (insidebayarea.com) |
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Not too long ago, in a neighborhood relatively close by: safe stolen by thieves falls off back of truck, spilling 70 Star Wars action figures all over road |
(22) |
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There are 266 powers under which state officials can enter an individual's home in the UK. England prevails |
(87) |
| (Some Star Guy) |
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Lyrid meteor showers peak this weekend. Northeast sky, just before dawn |
(31) |
| (KPTV.com) |
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Candidate for student body president delivers tearful speech about dead cousin at VT vigil; later admits she made the whole thing up for votes in next week's election. This kid's got a great future in politics |
(101) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Space tourist reflects on seeing view of Earth from orbit: "A nice cold beer would have been nice" |
(34) |
| (Casino City Times) |
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Man wins $10 million jackpot after separating from his wife, is ordered by the court to split it 50-50 with her anyway. You submitted this with a bitter headline |
(205) |
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New superhero: "Hot Dog Man' saves lives of hookers and homeless |
(61) |
