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1943 carving of naked lady gives road construction crew a woody (with pic) |
(25) |
| (The Union) |
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Judging from their habit of gleefully running into the path of speeding cars, it can be surmised that deer are stupid. This deer is a special kind of stupid |
(23) |
| (One More Level) |
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Don't click on the red button |
(130) |
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Restaurant chain hires corporate chaplains. Forgive me father, for I have spit in my neighbor's food |
(29) |
| (Myrtle Beach Online) |
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Man takes photo of short skirt wearing girl's ass while she's bent over trying on shoes in mall. Al Bundy approves |
(159) |
| (Some Guy) |
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I have no idea what this grafitti says but it looks pretty damn cool |
(221) |
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Theme: Easter egg hunts gone bad |
(114) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Why should teenagers have all the fun? Teacher pulls knife on high school students in classroom |
(41) |
| (Star-Gazette) |
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"B.C." creator Johnny Hart has died at age 76. Funeral to be conducted by the Wizard of Id |
(262) |
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It is customary for cosmonauts to pee on a tire before they take off to space |
(46) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Leadership 101: Body language |
(70) |
| (www.IHT.com) |
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Louisiana family having trouble with Allstate over Katrina damage, can't decide which "act of god" destroyed their home |
(48) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Largest construction project in the western hemisphere: eight 60-story towers containing 7,000 hotel rooms on 66 acres, costing over $7 Billion. Why yes, it's in Las Vegas |
(57) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Legality of the income tax called into question |
(275) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Street sweepers get police escorts. This is your tax dollars at work |
(48) |
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StratCom wants to build new nuclear warheads, because being able to destroy the planet ten times over isn't enough firepower |
(139) |
| (nola.com) |
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If you left your car in short-term parking at the New Orleans airport the day before Hurricane Katrina, the airport's management would like a word with you. And bring your checkbook |
(94) |
| (Some Guy) |
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School system fails entire sixth grade class because of behavior problems and bad grades |
(67) |
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Oil CEO gets $400M Payday in 2006, one of the largest ever in America. Bonus: his name is Irani |
(247) |
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Soda offically costs $40 in Zimbabwe |
(158) |
| (Some TFette) |
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Photoshop Barcelona's Olympic Park |
(54) |
| (Pimp That Snack) |
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How to make your very own giant Cadbury Creme Egg |
(105) |
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Men-only chuch service features a rock band, a shot clock to time the preacher's message and a one-hour in-and-out guarantee |
(119) |
| (Arab Times) |
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Woman seeks divorce from husband. Husband retaliates by cutting off his penis. That'll show her |
(56) |
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Motorcyclist hospitalized after discovering he can't share the same lane as a bathtub |
(37) |
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The Powerball Curse: Jack Whittaker Speaks |
(257) |
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Australian Army will target fans of The Simpsons and South Park as well as internet chatrooms as part of a drive to recruit young people |
(58) |
| (The Columbus Dispatch) |
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Man painting love message on rock dies in tragic grammar accident |
(151) |
| (Some Bunny) |
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The history of Easter |
(190) |
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I-70 runs through a tunnel in Colorado that can serve as a safe haven for presidents in the event of an emergency and as a lookout point for government agents monitoring terrorist activity. It's also about to cave in |
(68) |
| (Baxter Bulletin) |
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Police announce that they have arrested Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius--from Jupiter--in the act of burglarizing a house while naked |
(45) |
| (MaineToday.com) |
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Maine legislator pulls a Bono. Sonny Bono, that is |
(77) |
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If you're homeless don't take shelter in a dumpster |
(29) |
| (Theage.com.au) |
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Internationally known fighter for freedom of West Papua arrested for masturbating on a train. Bonus: three times in the same day, twice with a camera on him |
(64) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these happy Bangladeshi cricket players |
(54) |
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If your therapist calls you "a waste of space", it may be time to find another therapist |
(68) |
| (Theage.com.au) |
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Aussie cops caught speeding are over 20 times more likely to get off than the general public. In other news, that Pope dude? Not to shock you or anything but he's Catholic |
(30) |
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Easter is cancelled in one part of Brevard County when a church gets sold right out from under the pastor |
(51) |
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Someone in a school has been ordering porn, who could it be? |
(72) |
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Pope presides over Easter vigil mass in St. Peter's Basilica early Sunday morning. Female parishoner arrives late, asks if mass is out. Pope says no, but your hat is on crooked |
(41) |
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Onion field killer dies in prison. His breath was unbearable, and will likely only get worse |
(40) |
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British hostages held in Iran used Morse code so they would know what suit to wear to their going away party |
(59) |
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Today's crazy person with at least 80 immigrants found in home is brought to us by Phoenix. Elian unavailable for comment |
(30) |
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Solomon Islands lifted out of the sea. Proof that gravity is a theory, not a fact |
(94) |
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This story pretty much sums up human nature: heroic taxi driver gets the night's takings stolen out of his car while he saves man's life |
(37) |
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"Um... this is SO embarrassing... but we're kind of short on beds. That, that life-saving heart surgery thingy? Yeah, can you, uh, hold off on that?" |
(104) |
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Marshall Fine was fined by marshalls for running a red light. Asshat thinks his $60,000 viola and slick roads warrant a good defense |
(26) |
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You’re late with the paperwork for an audit. Do you A) Ask for more time? B) Miss the deadline and get fired? Or C) Set a fire that kills three? (with mugshot) |
(32) |
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Today's 'hot teacher busted for having sex with student' story brought to you by Roseville, California. And you do want to see her picture |
(253) |
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India pleads for orphan girls to be adopted by Britain, Angelina Jolie |
(35) |
| (KCCI) |
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Boy sitting at computer when a BB pops out of his eye. Ralphie Parker sought for questioning |
(72) |
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| (Memphis Flyer) |
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Shop where barber cuts hair with fire catches fire |
(65) |
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Minnesota Supreme Court says you don't have to pay up just because a city mailed you a picture of your license plate |
(71) |
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Mother of 2 children moonlights as dominatrix prostitute, complete with basement dungeon. Are you SURE you wanna see her picture? |
(163) |
| (WCAX) |
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With nothing else to do 'till the mud dries up, folks in northern Vermont wait for a piece of concrete to fall through the ice |
(34) |
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Photoshop this flower |
(70) |
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Pres. Bush almost blows up himself, Cheney & the CEO of Ford. This is not a joke |
(281) |
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Forbes.com's top 25 most corrupt countries (slideshow). No, the US is not on the list |
(189) |
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Man going by the name of John Awesome steals from a government bank account to pay for Internet porn |
(43) |
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Sometimes, a man just has to have his beer. Even if it means setting fire to a Wal-Mart to get it |
(31) |
| (The New Editor) |
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A fun, 'family-friendly, Easter cluster-bomb hunt' |
(66) |
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Italian men are now letting their mothers choose their future wives live on television. Yep, that'll help them lose their reputation as mama's boys |
(32) |
| (AM-NY) |
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JFK gunman suspect in custody. Jack Ruby grabs jacket, rushes out the door |
(47) |
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Lesbian teacher wins £20,000 compensation after being told she couldn’t have paternity leave, while a teacher who was raped by a 12-year-old pupil received just £11,000. Good job, National Union of Teachers |
(116) |
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Pranksters glue all of a California school's doors shut, because waiting in the gymnasium until the doors are opened is so much better than going to classes |
(47) |
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Another day, another arrest for felony misappropriation of a person's identification in order to register and sell Holstein cattle to Saudi Arabia |
(18) |
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The hottest web site in Wichita is the anti-prostitution page |
(197) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this alley |
(85) |
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Sad: Woman found drowned in pool. Fark: Her swim class nickname was "sinker" |
(150) |
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Being an inanimate object is difficult enough without being constantly humped by a robot |
(85) |
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Moviegoers expecting to see the PG rated movie "The Last Mimzy" see a naked woman giving birth what appears to be a mutant creature instead |
(147) |
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Family reportedly rescued from a boat that fell 150 feet over a waterfall. Marshall, Will and Holly are all expected to make a full recovery |
(52) |
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The United States is spending $11 million in the first half of this year to upgrade Iraq war dead from cargo class to first class |
(120) |
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Remember that time when we kidnapped your sailors, threatened them into making false confessions, and then let them go? Well, now it's time for you to do a favor for us |
(163) |
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Well, the good news is you don't have cancer |
(75) |
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Mix an evangelical Baptist, a crotchety Mormon, Good Friday, and a motorized wheelchair. What do you get? An entry in the police blotter |
(89) |
| (Some Guy) |
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What's the Saudi Councilman telling Nancy Pelosi? |
(143) |
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Michigan democrats vote to give every kid in Michigan an iPod for educational purposes. "Bad touch" and "My humps" added to sex ed class |
(156) |
| (playfuls.com) |
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Microsoft says DRM-free music soon to be available to all 14 Zune owners. Steve Jobs to announce Microsoft's next move shortly |
(208) |
| (Saturday Gazette Mail) |
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Airman demonstrating how he thought friend comitted suicide nails it right on the head |
(137) |
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Ladies and gentlemen, this is your uuuhh captain speaking, I'll be locking myself in the uuuhhh lavatory and screaming uuuhhh obscenities on my cell phone before we depart |
(46) |
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"Stealing a person's shoes is a particularly appalling and degrading thing to do and it seems all the more so when it happens over the Easter holiday period, when most people are trying to enjoy the long weekend" |
(25) |
| (nola) |
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Trying not to spill your beer is good in principle. Then there's this guy |
(69) |
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High-end gated community terrorized by dairy cows |
(78) |
| (MaineToday.com) |
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Man returning stolen items to Home Depot for credit, "That's OK. I work for the IRS. You can trust me." |
(39) |
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Freed British sailors say that their confessions were coerced and that they were the victims of Iran's macho head games |
(292) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this toddler and his truck |
(93) |
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CBS News defends stories on bunnies, pandas, birdies and puppies. "I don't think the Evening News has a responsibility to stuff its newscast with as much hard news as possible. We can get the news in a lot of places these days" |
(67) |
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If your marriage has failed, you can now have a funeral ceremony for it to bury the rings. It's just like a regular funeral, except regular coffins don't say "Six feet isn't deep enough" on the lid |
(33) |
| (MaineToday.com) |
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The post office is wondering what to do with a piece of junk mail. From 1943 |
(34) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Bartender pleads guilty to spiking cop's beer with Visine for not tipping her, oh, and arresting her |
(71) |
| (News10.net) |
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Titletown, USA (AKA - The Swamp) offers homeless population bus tickets to "anywhere but here" |
(111) |
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Ocean temperatures are going to drop in the next five to ten years. Suck it, Al Gore |
(374) |
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Experiment finds that food additives, preservatives and colours make children aggressive and disruptive. In other news, breathing, walking make children aggressive and disruptive |
(46) |
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Eight-month-old baby tests positive for amphetamine, methamphetamine, nicotine and caffeine. Captain Obvious, Deputy Duh think someone else may be responsible for putting the drugs in him |
(52) |
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Conference aims to get more women into computer-game development, off the roads |
(58) |
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Teenagers compete in the obscure sport of finger jousting at the World Finger Jousting Federation's Majigger at the Mall event in this video recap |
(42) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these tires |
(67) |
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Three men who successfully rob someone, but then decide to pistol-whip him anyway, end up regretting their decision when the clip falls out of the gun and the victim decides to attempt an ass-kicking trifecta |
(82) |
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Baptist Church bans kids from gory Good Friday re-enactment |
(43) |
| (American Thinker) |
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US set to ban incandescent light bulbs, hoping it will lower electric prices and shed coal plants faster. Unfortunately, it will do the opposite |
(348) |
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Naked man dies after he ran in front of a freight train |
(53) |
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Debtors with poor credit scores can take advantage of a loophole to rent credit lines from people with better credit history. Because spending money in order to borrow more money is exactly what most debtors need to do |
(51) |
| (Some Guy) |
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The art of science allows "artists" to grow real fur coats of your choice in a lab without harming animals. Chinchillas everywhere breath a little easier |
(57) |
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Special education teacher's death investigated as a murder due to signs of blunt force trauma. She might have been screaming "No, no no," but all they heard was "Who wants cake?" |
(38) |
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Kobra Kai dojo suffers yet another humiliation |
(132) |
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Asking someone to hide a weapon is now an offence in England |
(49) |
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President Karzai was all, yo, I mets with the Talibans, yo, but the Talibans was like, nuh-uh, noyoudiint |
(21) |
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Two women who didn't wear their seat belts are in critical condition, but the passenger wearing a seat belt walked away with minor abrasions. With pic of the car wreck that will convince you to never ride without a seatbelt again |
(253) |
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Feds pull 140 passengers off a flight and search them all on the tarmac. Fark: After they reach their destination |
(51) |
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Report offers scientists attention, bureaucrats a crisis, politicians equivocation. Oh, and it says something about global warming that will be praised and derided by the usual suspects and fail to change anybody's mind |
(47) |
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Mount Chimborazo is higher than Mount Everest |
(78) |
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Woman author claims stay at home moms should get their ass out of the kitchen and join the real world. Who could possibly object to this? |
(178) |
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Shooting in car at JFK leaves 1 dead, Gov. John Connally injured |
(63) |
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Crack journalist reports J-Lo will never be a size zero |
(90) |
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30,000 pounds of cocaine with an import value of approximately $400 million confiscated off the coast of Florida, Tony Montana taken in for questioning |
(66) |
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Professor Romero Ph D. from the Institute of the Blindingly Obvious discovers that a dog's size is determined by genetics |
(28) |
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If you're gonna impersonate your brother to get out of a DWI, don't call him to bail you out of jail |
(14) |
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Menu Food recall expands to dog biscuits, Ford Pintos; your dog wants steak |
(58) |
| (Some drunk) |
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Former pro-wrestler turned MMA fighter gets beat up outside bar, Shawn Michaels to sue for gimmick infringement |
(116) |
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Armed officers storm tomato growers apartment, closing the gateway to much harder fruits and vegetables |
(113) |
| (Some chubby kid) |
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Kids boycott school lunch because of low quality. School threatens to pack food in big box and send it to the starving children who really deserve it |
(124) |
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Theme: In the wrong place at the wrong time |
(140) |
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City hires private company to shoot at coyotes in residential Riverside. What could possibly, probably or definitely go wrong? |
(59) |
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Condor from release program in Mexico has entered the US. It's here to eat the carrion that American scavengers won't eat |
(69) |
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Researchers discover people who recall past lives can't even remember what happened during this one |
(157) |
| (eater) |
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Chumley's, the one-time speakeasy that gave us the term "86ed," may be 86ed itself |
(157) |
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If you're going to jump out of your stolen car and try to avoid cops by going into a river, at least have the decency to keep your pants on |
(24) |
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British troops were blindfolded, isolated and threatened with prison sentences by Iranians. Somebody must have sent them the Guantanamo operations manual |
(394) |
| (Jointblog) |
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The top five most annoying banner ads on the Internet (scaled down to minimize the annoyance) |
(238) |
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Retirees to create flying car. In related news, farmers markets to purchase anti-aircraft artillery |
(87) |
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Male breast cancer a lot like the LAPD |
(93) |
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Judge: "Turn yourself in, Girls Gone Wild founder." Girls Gone Wild founder: "Suck it" |
(236) |
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Hugh Hefner says he is NOT the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby. Also mentioned that her anus was unremarkable. Bonus: This is main page news on CNN.com |
(110) |
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Florida Baptist pastor's resume: "Represented 7.5 million parishoners. Forty years of experience. Only spent four years in jail for embezzlement from church" |
(83) |
| (Chattanoogan) |
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Mother of the Year candidate gets arrested at Little League baseball game for yelling out obscenities, throwing drinks at several people and shoving a coach after being asked to leave. The rest of the police blotter is even stranger |
(98) |
| (Cute Overload) |
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Photoshop this tiny beast |
(93) |
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Man sues insurance company who won't pay for "lawful damages" to his Lexus after his asshat daughter led police on a dangerous 100-mph chase and then locked herself inside when stopped |
(220) |
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UMass considers revoking Robert Mugabe's honorary degree. Mugabe is said to be distraught, considering resignation upon hearing the news |
(75) |
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FarkTV: "Not one, not two, but three warning shots." Special appearance by Drew as Warden Scheisskopf. And cleavage (not Drew's) |
(113) |
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Over 500 laptops, many loaded with sensitive information, have disappeared from the IRS in the last three years. Worse, none of the thieves bothered to declare the computers as "illegal income" on their 1040As |
(50) |
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In annual religious rite, Filipino men get nails hammered through hands. Palm Sunday? |
(96) |
| (KMOV) |
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Baking soda may be sold behind the counter like cold medicine in an attempt to combat drug manufacturing |
(265) |
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I'll see your coyote in a deli and raise you a rabid fox in a Sonic restaurant |
(115) |
| (Some Guy) |
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In a big push to win this year's Romero Award for Pure Excellence, Oregon's KATU news investigates report that a sandbar could pose problems for windsurfers |
(27) |
| (NY Daily News) |
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Locals are taking target practice on cars zipping by on Bronx highways again |
(73) |
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Man accused of using webcam for lewd act. There's another use? |
(73) |
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You've gained national attention from the media because your daughter ran away with a man she met on MySpace. Do you: A) Get her help? B) Buy her a pony? C) Whore her around? |
(117) |
| (WFSB) |
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Coca-Cola says a scene in an upcoming movie where Jesus drinks a Coke would probably give the soda a bad image |
(120) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Logging truck paints the town red. Or the streets at least (with pic) |
(64) |
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The infamous Hatfield-McCoy feud blamed on genetic "rage" disease: “There was a lot of inter-marrying” that could have played havoc with the gene pool, experts conceded |
(89) |
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TV company sued for £300K for showing jail keys, which resulted in 11,000 locks having to be changed |
(68) |
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Officers who pulled a man over for running a red light found a plush Easter bunny stuffed with marijuana in the car. "Easter grass," indeed |
(36) |
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Imperious curse used on ten children. Lord Voldemort unavailable for comment |
(77) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Lily Allen, during concert, calls George W. Bush an a**hole and claims she is probably bisexual. Alcohol was involved |
(287) |
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French presidential candidate advises young people to masturbate furiously |
(122) |
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Homeless man gets his post delivered to “The Disabled Toilet, The Lower Pleasure Gardens, Bournemouth” |
(37) |
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Tractor crashes into donkey cart, which crashes into wall, which lands on students, killing eight. It's the saddest Rube Goldberg machine ever |
(51) |
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95-year-old woman solves series of mysterious thefts in a retirement home by setting a trap and lying in wait. The lesson being, don't mess with people who do nothing but watch "Matlock" all day |
(46) |
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Connecticut girl goes two years without food and drink, installed as favorite in cycle eight of "America's Next Top Model" |
(112) |
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Gay marriage legalized in Disneyland. Wait, what? |
(173) |
| (Some Maverick) |
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Photoshop this cheerleader |
(114) |
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