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| (9News) |
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City of Denver revenue plan: 1) Push snow from street onto already shoveled sidewalk. 2) Ticket the homeowner. 3) $$$ |
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Saddam Hussein's half brother and the former head of Iraq's Revolutionary Court both hanged |
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So many people came out to watch dolphins off Long Island shore, police had to intervene. It's getting to b e a zoo around here |
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Posh waiter finally loses it. "I'd like to see the manager." "How can I possibly introduce you to the manager? You haven't shaved, you're not wearing a tie, and you hold your ladle like a pen." |
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| (CanadaNow) |
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Kylie Minogue becomes world’s first scented wax figure |
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It's the real thing. Coke espionage trial to start , as former secretary stands accused of stealing Coke's secrets to sell to Pepsi |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Man suffering from flu punches out doctor for refusing to write him a sick note for work. Sounds pretty healthy to me |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Steel animals sculptures, the lady bug is cute |
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| (Cape Cod Times) |
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The cost of medical care is exploding and 97% lack insurance, but what else can you do when the only hospital says "give us $3,700 or your wife dies"? |
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| (Disillusioned TFette) |
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And we wonder why we aren't taken seriously: Canadian Forces using paintball ranges to get ready for Afghanistan |
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Oh fashion shows, will you ever make clothes people will wear? |
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1971 Budweiser commercial. Beer brings us all together |
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| (McAllen Monitor) |
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Deputy with a million dollars in his truck opens with the "I found it" gambit. Police accept with the conventional "we'll let you go if we can keep it" move |
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Behold the jumpsuit, the manliest of manly garments |
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Europeans rushing to Bulgaria to buy "Breast-Boosting Beer" |
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Prince Harry may be shipped to Iraq. British retreat from Iraq in 5...4...3...2 |
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A two year, 18.6 million dollar airport expansion project is brought to a screeching halt when a bald eagle builds a nest. Project is at a standstill until the eagle decides to move |
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| (Some Guy) |
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One-third of all public school students can't use. Periods correctly |
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| (Dominican Today) |
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The Burqini: Muslim cross between a burqa and a bikini (pic) |
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Drug-addicted businessman avoids prosecution for misdemeanor drug posession offense by agreeing to give police his $100,000 Mercedes |
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100,000 homes without power in Sweden; 1,000,000 tasty little meatballs with toothpicks grow cold |
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Warning sign number one: "He was a very pleasant, kind of low-key, regular guy" |
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The mystery bike of Milwaukee. With breathtaking photo |
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Mountie calls sex harassment 'systemic', blames that whole "always get their man" mystique |
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| (Chattanoogan) |
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Dog shoots man |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Gravity |
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Experts explain that what is best for recovered kidnapping victims is to be psychoanalyzed by complete strangers on national TV |
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World record for most Elvises singing in one place now stands at 147 |
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Man seeks place in book of Guinness World Records for 21,6-centimetres piece of sunburn peel in the shape of China |
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Wealthy man chooses heirs from phone book |
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| (IBN Live) |
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After being stripped of her title, the former Ms Nevada is being paid $2 million to host female orgasm contest. Subby didn't realize females actually HAD orgasms |
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| (Some Guy) |
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There once was a drunk man named Gammel/He went out and drank like a camel/Exposed his bottom/Cops said, "We got 'em"/Now he's restrained with a trammel |
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Sunday couch potatoes unite: it's an exhibit of the greatest TV catch phrases and quotes EVER |
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| (All Headline News) |
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Step 2 still a mystery |
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| (New York Daily News) |
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"I'm standing here with no pants on...I'm awesome" |
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German motorist driving along a busy road suddenly veered to the left and ended up stuck on a railway track -- because his satellite navigation system told him to |
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Al-Jazeera journalist making a documentary about torture in Egypt will now get a whole lot more access to the story than she wanted |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Pete Doherty arrested again for *shakes druggie eight-ball* trying to outrun police in a stolen car |
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| (Bangkok Post) |
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Police chief perplexed how to deal with elephants who are looting tapioca trucks |
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Since oil prices are so low they're practically giving gas away, OPEC contemplating an emergency meeting to discuss cutting production |
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| (Some Guy) |
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"The Nightmare Weaponry of Our Future" - and why the Pentagon spends its money on the future while we lack sufficient funding for the present |
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Search for Da Vinci's secret vault continues. Geraldo Rivera unavailable for comment |
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Thousands of Britons who signed up for terror alerts by email find that there details are now held by an American company specialising in supermarket mailshots |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this lassoman |
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| (EurekAlert) |
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Scientists will begin gathering the most detailed information yet about the ever-changing northern lights, as a multi-year research project enters its ultimate phase with thirty guys laying on the hoods of their cars going "whoa" |
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On February 18, 2009, full power television stations will stop analog broadcasting and transition to digital broadcasting. Don't worry, the government has an entitlement program |
(215) |
| (Some Guy) |
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By day he's an electronic marketing communications specialist, but when the sun goes down, he becomes...The UFO Hunter |
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| (Some cold dead hands) |
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Harvard study finds that states with higher levels of gun ownership have higher homicide rates. Fark study finds that Harvard scientists are damned dirty apes |
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I've kinda always suspected it, but now it's official. Allen’s Coffee Brandy is Maines most popular brand of hard alcohol |
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BBC under fire after it announced plans for a £200,000 TV documentary devoted to the C- word |
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Make your own wine, rich in flavours such as ramen, CPU, mom's basement and hairy hands |
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| (RINF) |
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British government considering mandatory devices that will track individual motorcycles and automatically cut their throttles if it senses the bike exceeding the posted speed limit |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Heaven's Gate - The New Generation |
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| (Telegraph) |
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Man has broken 27 year old record to fly his hot air balloon to 32,500ft (6 .1 miles) – just above the cruising height of a jumbo jet |
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| (cracked) |
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8 important lessons learned from 80's cartoons |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Things tend to get ugly after your plane sits on the runway for eight hours |
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| (MosNews.com) |
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Russian man grows replacement penis on his arm, looks forward to rubbing elbows with many foxy ladies |
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| (Some Guy) |
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"In the 1050's, UFOs, mosters, and ghost stories were part of Americana, and Clarksburg native Gray Barker was right in the middle of it." |
(57) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Rumor that overweight owl with power to turn its owner into a millionaire has been sighted in India sparks frantic hunt for mystical bird. YA RLY |
(38) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Herd of wild goats invades village after figuring out how to crawl across a £40,000 cattle grid installed to keep them out. You mess with the goat, you get the horns |
(19) |
| (Some Guy) |
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"Many of the respectable residents of Lewes, an old market town in southern England, appear to be cheering for vigilantes who are blowing up parking meters" |
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Firm selling maternity clothes discriminates against pregnant mothers. Irony tag's children amused |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Cancer striken mother makes keepsake videos for son. Mother dies. Thief steals videos. Satan says, "Thats low." |
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New Yorkers despondent that it took 13 days for the first homicide of the year to occur, inspiring memories of the good old days when dozens of people would be killed by January 13th |
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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these smokestacks |
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Airlines seek to charge extra air tax for tickets bought months ago after government raised taxes at the beginning of the year. That's funny, I didn't receive a refund on tickets that eventually went down in price |
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Woman who loses at radio station's water-drinking contest now going for record for holding one's breath |
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What to do with 20,000 lbs of surplus sodium metal? Why dump it into a lake of course |
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Cat named stationmaster of Wakayama Electric Railway station. Company officials say they were extremely impressed with his work modeling for caption pictures |
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Boy Scout troops earn their Devastating Wildfire badge |
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Apparently, there are places called "coffee shops" where young persons can meet for a first date |
(55) |
| (Some Weirded out Gal) |
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What's the weirdest thing ever said to you on a date? LGN, VE |
(569) |
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All British residents asked to name a 'buddy' who would bring them life-saving medication in a flu pandemic. Now look around at your buddies. Yeah, you're dead |
(18) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Caption: whatever the hell is going on here |
(62) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Fox shows woman with "Fark Da Eagles" T-Shirt in prime time. Link goes to FCC obscenity FAQ |
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Fat Americans protest Whitehouse anti-fat policies as insulting to Fat Americans. Your dog wants you to butter that steak |
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Reporter spends forty-eight hours in county lockup to see how life is. Verdict: Crowded and stinky |
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"Children's parties have become the acme of competitive parenting,' said Hurley. 'It's not unusual for 60 children to be invited and the cost to reach £50,000" |
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