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| (Sunday Observer) |
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"When she asks the price of something, I say it's much more than it really is. Then I reduce it when she asks for discount, so she think she's getting a great bargain and offers sex" |
(111) |
| (news 14 charlotte) |
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Naked man resists arrests, puts the ol' junk in, he puts the ol' junk out, he puts the junk back and is tased and passes out. They start to take him to the pokey and he faints and passes out. He dies and it all comes out |
(135) |
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After hearing "And then..." too many times, Toys R Us give $25,000 to Chinese baby |
(198) |
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News networks have graphics for probable events ready to go before they happen. Photoshop a breaking news graphic for an impending event |
(84) |
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New Orleans mulls curfew to cut murders, or at least force residents to kill each other in broad daylight |
(90) |
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Early candidates for parents of the year give 12 year old pot and cocaine. Everything was going great until she got access to Myspace |
(94) |
| (Some Guy) |
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I arrested twelve people and all I got was this lousy t-shirt |
(27) |
| (cough cough) |
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Peanuts kill more Americans than terrorists. Snoopy gets pilot license revoked, Woodstock put on no-fly list |
(212) |
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Despite our promises of "never again" everyone continues to do nothing as children are beheaded or thrown alive into fires in Darfur. Good thing our military resources aren't committed to a quagmire, so we can respond quickly |
(397) |
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Israel air force training to bomb Iran's nuclear facilities back to the stone age using low-yield nuclear bunker busters. This will end well |
(542) |
| (Some Guy) |
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British town orders man to remove tiny wind chime from his back yard after an investigation that cost more than £1,000 |
(32) |
| (Some Guy) |
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What's your town's claim to fame? |
(1045) |
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Glasgow city officials are struggling to decide whether to classify discarded chewing gum as litter or vandalism |
(25) |
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Cannibal who ate fellow inmate had previously asked authorities to separate him from cellmate; finally threw up his hands out of frustration |
(135) |
| (metro.co.uk) |
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"Mannequins' breasts are growing to cater for the number of women who now have plastic surgery (or men's increased fondness for gigantic boobs)" |
(148) |
| (Des Moines Register) |
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Today's "350 snakes, 500 assorted rodents and three boa constrictors seized from a house" story brought to you by Dubuque, IA |
(41) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Caption this picture of Hillary, Bill, and Dick |
(75) |
| (Metro.co.uk) |
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Exotic dancers vow to form their own political party. Now taking political donations in singles |
(33) |
| (Some Seagal) |
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Man who died 31 times in one hour says he's never experienced anything like it |
(102) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Utah airlifts mooses to Colorado in exchange for sheep. "Something this weird has gotta have pics," you mutter. It does |
(52) |
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Locals upset over nude cricket, naked tug-of-war, nude three-legged races and "best bum" and "best suntan" competitions. In other news, three-legged races may have a new meaning |
(24) |
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Theme: Holiday cards that didn't sell very well this year |
(53) |
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What to do when your minor child is convicted of gang raping an 11 year old--blame the victim and call her a whore in court |
(356) |
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False alarms in Toronto homes have wasted as much as $23.7 million in police services |
(39) |
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Your office Death Pool has a new front runner.Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas declares Hamas militia illegal |
(76) |
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Arsenic and fake tits |
(57) |
| (dailydemocrat.com) |
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Ax-wielding maniac attempts to kill neighbor's truck |
(23) |
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Airline passengers have gotten better at leaving their knives and scissors at home, but need work on camel meat and moonshine |
(13) |
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It's fun to steal from the Y-M-C-A |
(25) |
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Massive avalanche on US 40 in Colorado buries several cars |
(130) |
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After selling stolen merchandise at a pawn shop, you might want to avoid said pawn shop for awhile, particularly if a police cruiser is parked outside |
(21) |
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What Florida did not have in hurricanes last year is being made up for in Colorado with blizzards |
(75) |
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Farrakhan undergoes 12-hour operation, perhaps related to "complications from an ulcer in the anal area." May not be able to speak for few weeks |
(83) |
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Philadelphia couple says they will let you watch them have sex for tickets to the Eagles / Giants game. Normally this would be kinda hot... but have you seen Eagles fans? |
(47) |
| (Gulf Times) |
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Boy killed by cybersex |
(134) |
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RV parks, having been associated with dinner-dances and flea markets, becoming major entertainment venue |
(16) |
| (Earth Times) |
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Toys 'R' Us offers $25,000 to first baby born in 2007, then promptly disqualifies Chinese immigrant and picks Georgian woman instead |
(147) |
| (IN-Forum) |
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Today's "sleeping with a teacher" story brought to you by Fargo, ND (with hot pic) |
(137) |
| (Rockymountainnews) |
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Moran 1, Ladies night 0 |
(200) |
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".xxx" domain plan proposed again, expect stiffening resistance |
(88) |
| (Some Guy) |
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The coolest pictures you will see all day: Earth from space |
(97) |
| (MaineToday) |
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Maine decides that Santa's Butt is clean enough |
(19) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Do your best or worst attempt at covering Lynyrd Skynyrd's "Freebird" |
(48) |
| (theinquirer.net) |
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The RIAA may have to start suing alleged music pirates for actual damages ($.70 per single). Bonus: They may face a Senate inquiry panel |
(310) |
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Some inuendos write themselves: DNA on chin may lead to Glen Cove woman's killer |
(33) |
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And lo, the Flying Spaghetti Monster did wave His Noodly Appendage and summoned his prophet, Momofuku Ando, inventor of the instant noodle, to Heaven so that he may frolic among the beer volcanos and stripper factories. Ramen |
(173) |
| (KSBW) |
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Today's item spilled all over the highway: coins |
(31) |
| (Terre Haute Tribune Star) |
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Boaters fleeing towards Indiana to avoid Kentucky boat tax. Kentucky Navy mobilized to implement a whooping on any people who evade their boat tax |
(45) |
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Two arrested after stealing a mailman's bag. Don't people know not to mess with mailmen by now? |
(33) |
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USA Today salutes medieval reenactors with a feature on that high school kid who wanted his sword photographed |
(89) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these Renaissance rockers |
(50) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Man Bites Dog |
(40) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Seattle-area power company to develop solar power facility in the always-sunny Pacific Northwest. Yeah, let me know how that works out for you |
(64) |
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Warm weather closes ski resort. In Canada |
(111) |
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Oh, no - they say he's got to go, go go Hogzilla |
(68) |
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British man dies after two ambulance crews were forbidden from responding to his call because they were on EU-enforced lunch breaks. Ain't socialized medicine grand? |
(251) |
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British army raises age limit for front-line combat soldiers to 55, prepares to form Her Majesty's Motorized Wheelchair And Walkers Hussars |
(40) |
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I-Mockery takes you on a photographic tour of Las Vegas. What happens in Vegas, stays on the internet |
(79) |
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Two planes come within of 50 feet of making sweet, sweet love at Denver International Airport |
(78) |
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YouTube now encouraging your idiot coworkers to pull idiot practical jokes on you knowing they can share their idiocy with the idiots on the Internet. Ask these idiots who have |
(41) |
| (rocky mountain news) |
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Batshiat crazy Russian lady slaps hex on Delta flight after flight attendant takes her wine away. Learns the hard way it costs $2,931 to divert a flight. Drunk and stupid is no way to go thru life, comrade |
(53) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Cheney begins sweating nervously as Congress introduces war profiteering prevention act |
(221) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Holy fark, Batman. Is molecular manufacturing too dangerous to allow? |
(110) |
