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| (Huffington Post) |
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Park Service can't provide age of Grand Canyon for fear of offending creationists |
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Photoshop this bent rail |
(47) |
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Man tries to steal an entire New York City hotel valued at $76 million. That's not exactly something you can stick down your pants unnoticed |
(48) |
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Saddam Hussein officially starts his homosexual relationship with Satan (link updated) |
(2046) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes dead after car accident |
(398) |
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Mysterious California billionaire pays $200 million in back taxes and single-handedly wipes out state's deficit |
(65) |
| (Some Evolved Guy) |
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Here they are: Your 2006 Darwin Award winners |
(57) |
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AT&T/Bellsouth merger approved by FCC. Your dog wants $86.5 billion to try to build a company bigger than Ma Bell 2.0 |
(64) |
| (Herald Sun) |
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Woman charged with "malicious castration" as opposed to "happy fun castration" |
(85) |
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Hey Charlie, we should probably call your mom and dad. Seeing that they've contacted local media and have started a full-fledged police search and all |
(21) |
| (abc27) |
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If a female officer pulls you over and tells you that you can pay the fine "the easy way, or the hard way," she's not really a cop. So try not to get too excited. (WHAT? WHO SUBMITTED THIS?) |
(47) |
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So, let's see some of those "Saddam is dead" headlines you got ready. Voting enabled |
(512) |
| (Some Drunkard) |
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Asheville NC Fark Party tomorrow (12/30 for you calendar-challenged folks) 5PM (1700 hours for you military folk) at the Westville Pub - 777 Haywood Rd. LGT location |
(33) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Caption this office party |
(91) |
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Take one crazy woman, add her brand-new samurai sword, her 14-year-old sister, the last pack of cigarettes, and her mother. Recipe for disaster |
(50) |
| (Some Santa) |
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Once in the mall cafeteria/ Santa gave me some deadly bacteria/ Since I sat on his lap/ I might take a dirt nap/ Have my brain swell and experience deliria |
(24) |
| (Some Riverbend) |
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So what is Iraq REALLY like these days? Just ask its most prominent blogger and former invasion supporter |
(428) |
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Stunt in which a driver gets out of his car and dances around and on top of the slowly moving vehicle to a thumping hip-hop beat has gotten at least two people killed and led to numerous injuries. No word on how it effects sword-swallowers |
(92) |
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Yappie hours "a new trend toward nightlife where humans are encouraged to bring their dogs," turn them into "'furry, retarded people'" |
(47) |
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Michael Jordan files for divorce from wife. Experts say that he potentially could lose 3 NBA titles and 16,146 points |
(57) |
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Saddam to be executed tonight, officials say. Take THAT, al Qaeda |
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Prosecutor in Duke lacrosse rape case brought up on ethics charges. Nifong sucks |
(88) |
| (Home and Away) |
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US Airways decorates one of their Airbus A319s with special Arizona Cardinals livery. Pilots immediately complain about crappy performance, lack of pass rush |
(41) |
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_____'||_______________________\o/__\o/______ |
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The "personal blimp" launches. The morning commute is about to get more interesting |
(90) |
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Miami's 25th King Mango Strut Parade takes place on Sunday, with a stated goal of offending as many people as possible |
(34) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this treasure hunter |
(70) |
| (GameSpot) |
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Second Life attacked on Christmas Day by obscene worm and laughing green genitalia wearing santa hats. Sometimes, its too easy |
(143) |
| (Some Blog) |
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CNN Time Warner and Chase are pleased to bring you "The Iraqi Sniper Hour," starring Dirka Dirka Mohmad Jihad and featuring the U.S. military |
(616) |
| (Maine Today) |
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"Nicolas R. Leathers, 23, who was released from Kennebec Jail on Thursday, is banned from using or possessing women's underwear as a condition of his probation" |
(87) |
| (Reason) |
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Trey Parker: "The only way you can be a punk in Los Angeles is go to a big party and go, 'You can say what you want about George Bush, but you’ve got to admit, he’s pretty smart'” |
(319) |
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Collection of faith-related quotes from 2006. FSM makes the cut |
(114) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Rosie O'Donnell is tied with Satan on list of biggest villains in 2006. That's kind of kind of unfair because Satan really hasn't done anything all that bad this year |
(97) |
| (Inside Bay Area) |
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Smelly the Cat, who'd gone missing after Thanksgiving, finally found. This is in a major San Francisco newspaper. I'm done. (Note: If by "major" you mean "Circulation: 31,861") |
(54) |
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People too tipsy to drive on New Year's Eve are being offered a free ride home -- by the sheriff, something submitter usually tries to avoid on New Years |
(64) |
| (Union Leader) |
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Star of PBS's "Zoom" killed when his car zooms off the road. Bert and Ernie on junket in South America and regret they can't attend |
(89) |
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Woman trapped in Parisian elevator for three days must now be slowly integrated back into a society without James Brown, Peter Boyle or Saddam Hussein. Be brave, young lady |
(42) |
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What I want from each of you is a hard-target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse and doghouse in that area. Your fugitive's name is Latvian boar. Go get him |
(25) |
| (NY Daily News) |
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NY Daily News threatens to sue over "GOD TO FORD: DROP DEAD" parody |
(44) |
| (Lansing State Journal) |
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Unfortunately, medical marijuana seems to work better as a pill than a blunt. Put that in your pipe and smoke it, Cheech |
(309) |
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Have you heard about all the crazy events that happen in Florida? Who'da thunk it? |
(29) |
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CBS, ABC refuse to air Saddam Hussein's execution because it's in poor taste. In other news, new episodes of "CSI" and "Supernanny" scheduled for January |
(327) |
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S-dd-m / H-ss-in / T- / H-ng / in / H--rs |
(439) |
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Man gets pulled over for blowing stop sign, but forgets to put out his joint in front of the cops, who find his stash |
(47) |
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Sometimes you just can't improve a headline. "Opera that depicts Bush, Blair dancing in underwear canceled" |
(37) |
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TV viewing habits often vary among family members. Choke on THAT, Romero |
(44) |
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Heavyweight boxer Mike Tyson has been arrested on drug and DUI charges outside a Scottsdale nightclub |
(102) |
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Housework cuts breast-cancer risk, as reported by the Journal of Clean This House Biatch & Make Me a Sammich |
(70) |
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NY City Council is working at making pitbulls the 17th thing they have banned this year, including candy-flavored cigarettes and Ringling Brothers Circus |
(305) |
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Barely news: Police catch guy making fake 911 calls. News: By calling back saying he won a giftcard. Fark: Guy told to pick up the giftcard in person. First words upon arrest, "You can't prove anything" |
(85) |
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Real-estate agent sues Washington state because they violated his freedom of speech. He wanted his nativity scene placed next to the holiday tree, the Menorah and the Antonio Banderas blow-up doll at the state capitol |
(119) |
| (WXNation) |
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Denver snowstorm tracking, with special bonus webcam goodness. Also includes traffic reports, flight info and RADIO |
(62) |
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Thirsty German man traded his daughter's pet beagle for beer |
(75) |
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German man finds himself in Montana after mistyping his destination on a flight-booking website. Apparently, there is more than one Sydney |
(94) |
| (The Telegraph) |
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Up to 27 doctors in India cheat electronically on exam. Good training for billing health-insurance companies |
(27) |
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German treehuggers want speed limits on autobahns. Kraftwerk war für Anmerkung nicht erreichbar |
(131) |
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Nuclear energy "safer than sharks" -- but what about sharks with frickin' nuclear-powered lasers? |
(169) |
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Papers just released show that in 1976, Britain's economy was so bad, they nearly scrapped their nuclear weapons and had to borrow money from the IMF |
(57) |
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Cat saves owner from death in burning house by clawing at his face until he woke up. Later, cat asks, "There was a fire?" |
(174) |
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The truth behind that New Years hangover |
(107) |
| (Some Guy Without a Cool Job) |
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A look at 20 of the weirdest/coolest jobs you could have, including Potato Chip Inspector, Solfeggist, Gross Stunt Producer and Whiskey Ambassador |
(68) |
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China develops three little pigs that glow in the dark. Big Bad Wolf never saw it coming. Bonus: No idea why the hell this is in the news again |
(16) |
