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| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this abbey |
(39) |
| (CTV.ca) |
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Canadian troops in Afghanistan ask for Moosehead brand beer, military contacts Brewery to place order, brewery honored that troops prefer their beer says: “keep your money, we’ll donate however much you want” |
(115) |
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As much as we would like to think otherwise, excessive consumption of Tequila does not render one able to fly |
(31) |
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Not News: Addicts sue someone. News: Addicts sue their employers. Fark.com: For causing their Crackberry addiction |
(30) |
| (WSMV Nashville) |
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Police drag diabetic paraplegic man with handicapped license plates through window and throw him to the ground when he sticks arms out and says "I cannot exit" |
(83) |
| (WSMV Nashville) |
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Nashville bar's dress code bans wearing of name brands Southpole, ECKO, ENYCE, Sean Jean, Phat Farm, FUBU among other things. Right to dress in overpriced crap and look like a tool at a bar surenders |
(117) |
| (Some Guamanian) |
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Old and busted: Stealing signs. New hotness: Stealing stairwells |
(26) |
| (Newschannel 5) |
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Adult Store in Murfreesboro raises concerns, if by "concerns" you mean "weeners" |
(56) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Coffins are getting mighty creative these days: Still waiting for the Tupperware one, though |
(42) |
| (Trib) |
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Computer crash at St. Louis police department wipes out record of 6,000 criminal cases. Somebody didn't call for backup |
(51) |
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TV furniture gets slimmer. American couch potatoes still expected to get wider . Living room volume remains a constant |
(18) |
| (SILive) |
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Asshat who claims she couldn't afford to feed her dogs could manage to afford the gasoline she used to set them on fire |
(74) |
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Parents of 650 children that were flunking reading and math for third straight year are notified that their children are eligible for free tutoring under federal law. Number of takers? Zero |
(220) |
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"Society has caught up with Playboy's view" |
(74) |
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FBI suspects link between Osama bin Laden and The Sopranos. Seriously. "We are looking at this very aggressively," says bureau |
(68) |
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German police monitoring $cientology run after school tutoring centers for signs of clambaking |
(74) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Students find that if you send popcorn kernels to 122-thousand feet above the earth, they will pop more efficiently and taste better |
(38) |
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First ever Las Vegas-style slots coming to Florida- because slots are considered bingo. In what land? Oh yeah, Florida tag |
(34) |
| (CNN/SI) |
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Because the Tigers are the Tigers, they lose the Division on the last day of the season |
(207) |
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Liberal academia now punishing students for comments they post on web blogs, even when they post from their home computers |
(434) |
| (Some Quack) |
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Photoshop this duck |
(42) |
| (Delaware Online) |
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Delaware man left picking birdshot pellets from his arm after neighbor shoots him for driving onto his lawn and threatening to run him over |
(37) |
| (Some TFer) |
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The Constitution of the United states Version 2.0 |
(313) |
 |
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Willie Nelson brings Farm Aid concert to Philadelphia, continuing his campaign to assist oppressed grass farmers everywhere |
(40) |
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What do today's teenagers do when being abused by their parents? Use their cell phones to call 911, snap some pictures as evidence |
(154) |
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Drunk teen stands on tracks and flips off train. Train is offended and hits back |
(109) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Working fast food is bad. Working the drive-through is worse. Getting a beatdown from an angry naked customer, though, that's the worst |
(31) |
| (SoVo) |
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Sean Penn on advice he gives guys dating his daughter: "I tell them that whatever they do to my daughter that night, they better be prepared to come home and do it to me, too" |
(153) |
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Author auctions chance to be character in his book |
(49) |
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New service allows you to choose the originator and destination for a text message. What could possibly go wrong ? |
(38) |
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You cockle picker gangmasters have been strutting around like you owned the place until now, but your cockle picking gangmaster days are now over |
(55) |
| (Some Guy) |
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US library ban on JK Rowling |
(369) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop this chillin' Con carny |
(34) |
 |
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Helpful Hint # 13- Always trust a man in a police uniform when buying your cocaine |
(33) |
| (Some Guy) |
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The two coolest words you'll see today when they appear together: Urban golf. (pix) |
(64) |
| (Power Xtreme!) |
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Pics and news from the worlds first international rocketbelt convention |
(45) |
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Rare bird blown off its migration route dies after being "hounded to death" by bird watchers |
(69) |
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Who is the most overrated person in the history of music? Link goes to the real answer |
(733) |
 |
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When the "which paper bag did I leave the big knife in" magic trick goes wrong. SFW, but hard as hell to watch |
(100) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Great American Beer Festival crowns top beers for 2006 |
(114) |
| (Some Guy) |
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3-D doodling will officially bake your noodle |
(44) |
| (Fox News Florida) |
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Officers fired 110 rounds at man suspected in cop's death. True irony is that suspect was only hit 68 times. Battle for tag between Florida- Obvious declared a draw |
(212) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Radical Muslim who interrupted childrens' Christmas choir by jumping up and screaming "Who is your God? Why are you saying Jesus and Jesus Christ? God is not your God - it is Allah" made school inspector in Britain |
(280) |
 |
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Top 300 songs of the 20th century |
(233) |
| (some primate) |
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Intact soft tissue recovered from six-thousand year old Tyrannosaurus Rex fossil |
(133) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Finally, what we all wanted: A Boy Scout slaying game |
(56) |
| (PC World) |
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Top 99 undiscovered web sites (oops) |
(58) |
| (OC Register) |
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Man retires from Original Pancake House after 50 years of fluffy, buttery goodness (with pic) |
(34) |
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Elementary School music teacher on paid leave after passing out drunk. State benefits sure are hard to beat |
(44) |
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LiveScience tackles one of the more important questions of our time, "When was beer invented?" |
(20) |
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Cheating among students "rampant" in Canada. You submitted this headline earlier, but I was behind you looking over your shoulder |
(47) |
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"Spaceport America" suffers first setback. James Doohan's ashes unavailable for comment |
(28) |
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How punk rock pulled author from the death spiral of an underclass neighborhood |
(76) |
| (Mr. Unlucky) |
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Photoshop this car on fire |
(92) |
| (Some Guy) |
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The coolest "road built into the side of a cliff" you will see today |
(90) |
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Computer Games for old people. Your granny wants to frag |
(49) |
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Finally a Church Sermon TFers may agree with...God 'intends for us to have great sex,' minister says |
(57) |
 |
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Isn't it cute when pet dogs and cats bring home gifts like birds, rabbits, human skulls? |
(25) |
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New computer system aims to identify criminals by the way they walk. Submitter moonwalks out the back door |
(53) |
| (Gizmag) |
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Army successfully tests Compact Kinetic Energy Missile (CKEM), magnetic repulser shields next on agenda |
(61) |
| (about.com) |
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Convicted felon Martha Stewart invites Eminem on her show to hopefully increase his street cred |
(28) |
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Czech out Miss World 2006 (pic) |
(208) |
| (Oregonian) |
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Argument on CB radio escalates into deadly mall parking lot confrontation. Rubber Duck, Pig Pen unavailable for comment |
(112) |
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Latest study shows health-conscious restaurants on the rise in America. Just kidding, here's one where they use a syringe to squirt chocolate directly into your mouth |
(73) |
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Irishman wins World Oyster Opening Championship. In other news, there is a World Oyster Opening Championship |
(37) |
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"[T]he concept of free trade practiced by the United States is a myth because we allow other countries to manage trade to their advantage, creating an uneven playing field" |
(128) |
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Big Peach named worst city for sleeping. "It's the pits" claim sleep deprived citizens |
(44) |
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Spinach is safe to eat again. Bizarre disfigured sailor with a corncob pipe seen hoarding all he can |
(37) |
| (Whoa) |
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Disorientation: the most farked up maze game EVAR |
(105) |
| (Raw Story) |
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Legal immigrants are being rounded up by the thousands due to deportable offenses which weren't deportable at the time of their immigration |
(155) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Donald trumped, the most expensive home for sale in the US is listed at $135 million |
(43) |
| (Charleston.net) |
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City Councilman thinks bad parents should be sterilized if they can't control their children. Cue the 'That's Racist' kid in 3,2,1 |
(187) |
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Overpass collapses near Montreal. Lizzie from Rampage unavailable for comment |
(78) |
| (Some TFer) |
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Theme: The Apocalypse. Difficulty: Using only video-game characters |
(88) |
| (pittsburgh post gazette) |
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Pistol packin', 82 year old, great granny bartender scares off armed robber. Who, of course, came back later that night for a beer |
(18) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Caption these astronomers as they look up at...something |
(110) |
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Judge who ruled "intelligent design" was not science received numerous death threats. Death threats so complex they just couldn't have occured by chance |
(464) |
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High school running back rushes for 658 yards and 10 touchdowns in one game, scores more than Hugh Hefner on a three-day viagra bender |
(86) |
| (RGJ.com) |
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If you're going to poison wife with succinylcholine, you shouldn't criticize someone else's murder and suggest it would be better performed with succinylcholine |
(32) |
| (The Journal News) |
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"The officers sprayed him with department-issued pepper spray, but he licked it off of his face and told the officers that it tasted like water" |
(107) |
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Toddler survives for three days alone in the woods, succesfully eludes animals, sexual predators |
(50) |
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Smile! You're on pedo camera |
(427) |
| (WSJ) |
|
First Lady Laura Bush's top five books to promote literacy |
(276) |
| (Newswireless.net) |
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Good: Verizon offers "unlimited" wireless broadband. Bad: They don't tell you it's limited to 5 gigs a month. Fark: If you go over the limit, they cancel your account, accuse you of downloading porn, and charge you $175 |
(197) |
 |
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Remember those anthrax letters from a few years ago? Apparently, some scientists at the FBI are actually still working on that case and they have concluded that all the experts and insiders quoted at the time were actually full of crap |
(54) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Myspace pics show cops alledgely drinking with underage girls. Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? |
(75) |
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Closed Krispy Kreme to become -- what else? -- a new police headquarters. As if it wasn't that already |
(29) |
|
 |
"It's vile," said Rep. Mark Foley, R-West Palm Beach. "It's more sad than anything else, to see someone with such potential throw it all down the drain because of a sexual addiction." On Bill Clinton - 1998 |
(286) |
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Deputy showing off with gun he thought was unloaded accidentally shoots himself in the face. His birthday party was pretty much a bummer after that |
(79) |
| (The Capital Times) |
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"[M]any white communities are absolutely vehement about filling their homes with racks of deadly weapons and teaching young children how to use them at a very early age." |
(295) |
| (NCAA) |
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Today's college football discussion thread |
(400) |
|
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Brazilian airliner wreckage located in Amazon jungle. No word on survivors |
(81) |
| (Some Guy) |
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10 coolest sites on Google Earth. Flying car wins, though |
(62) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these box boys farking around in the back room |
(43) |
| (ksl.com) |
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Man named "Fatty" arrested for burrito theft |
(39) |
 |
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Queen of England has turned a room in one of her castles into a mosque for muslim staff |
(69) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Everything looks cooler in slow motion. Today's example: a lighter |
(45) |
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Well hell, if your life is that empy, you might as well create your friggin' cat's own "MySpace For Pets" page. It's not like you're busy dating or anything |
(44) |
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Dumbest. Superintendent. Ever |
(115) |
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Minnesota's muslim cabbies refusing fares at the airport if customers are carrying alcohol. Refusal of fare sends them to the back of the 3 hour line, but that's a small price to pay than an eternity of punishment in the afterlife |
(293) |
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If you're one of the people who parachuted off of a construction crane near Michigan Avenue, the Chicago Police Department would like to have a word with you |
(27) |
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Real-life saloon brawl breaks out in Wyoming bar, much to the delight of visiting tourists. "We just want to thank you, that was the best bar fight and greatest entertainment we've ever had" |
(46) |
| (Some Guy) |
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AudioEdit a news report of the Second Coming |
(6) |
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I am angry at the penis. The poor quality of the only "Detachable Penis" music video on YouTube, that is |
(83) |
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Woman being attacked by rabid coyote slams door on its neck. This self-defence technique also works remarkably well on door-to-door magazine salespeople |
(37) |
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Truck driver walks into woods to take a leak, finds mountain of stolen TVs that some thief just pissed away |
(23) |
| (Some Guy) |
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China using lasers to blind US spy satelites in the largest game of peekaboo ever played |
(76) |
| (Some Bug) |
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Photoshop this insect |
(49) |
 |
|
A look at where airplanes go to die (cool pics) |
(45) |
| (Night Fever, Night Fe-ver) |
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Caption what this groovy dancer is thinking |
(59) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Top 10 singalong pop hits of all time |
(192) |
| (The Record) |
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Due to long-term serious doctor shortage, hospital in Ontario, Canada is being forced to close its emergency room permanently to patients |
(105) |
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Ever wonder how a 50-pound ball of silly putty would react when dropped from the 7th story of a building? Wonder no longer |
(81) |
| (AHN) |
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Weird: Tajikistan bans gold teeth. Wierder: To improve the country's image |
(41) |
| (TILL) |
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Every prison cell in Britain will be full by next week. In related news, the second week of October looks like a great time to commit some crime in Britain |
(31) |
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Man robs bakery with steak knife. Next time use the right knife, dope |
(20) |
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Toyota unveils new pickup at Texas State Fair. Locals complain that it has weird features like aluminum block, multi-valve cylinders and overhead cams, and if NASCAR don't need the devil's machinery, neither do they, dadgummit |
(104) |
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Atlantic tropical storm could make landfall in Canada. Local stores report panic buying of poutine, Timbits |
(39) |
| (Centredaily.com) |
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American and Canadian fighter planes were launched to intercept a pair of Russian bombers. And you thought the cold war was over |
(64) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Jimmy Dean releases Chocolate Chip Pancakes & Sausage on a Stick: Includes number to heart specialist on stick |
(47) |
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Cost of capping greenhouse gas emissions estimated at $1,000,000,000,000. Presumably the hippies that are in favor of halting global warming are putting 'For sale' signs on their 1972 Volvos so they can chip in |
(175) |
|
|
| (Some Guy) |
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A crackdown on illegal whiskey in 19th century Ireland forced some to turn to the drinking of ether, of which a frequent side effect was violent belching of flammable gas |
(45) |
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Zombie rulers retain slim majority |
(21) |
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Scientists say Mount St. Helen's eruption "slowing." You can still panic and stuff, but you have time for a snack |
(31) |
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Museum's pet rooster goes missing. "We are in shock," said Ed LeRoy, manager of special events for the museum. "He may have been feeling under threat." |
(24) |
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Study finds men as likely to be compulsive shoppers as women, they just spend way, way less time in stores |
(90) |
| (Poker Player's Alliance) |
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Frist attempts to attach online gaming prohibition act to port security. DIT |
(185) |
|
 |
Boeing 737 with 155 people on board has gone missing |
(167) |
| (Ernie's House) |
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Homebuilder might want to rethink his line of work after building house 20 feet higher than road. With plenty of pic goodness |
(134) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop these fellows loading a blasthole |
(46) |
| (CBS4) |
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Details of Colorado shooter's suicide note sent to family member |
(89) |
| (heraldonline.com) |
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Twins meet for first time after 71 years, plan to attend weekend "Matlock" convention |
(36) |
| (Chicago Tribune) |
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Study finds hotel rooms are awash in bacteria, viruses, dead hookers |
(75) |
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Somewhere out there is a hippy with balls the size of grapefruits: Several pounds of pot stolen from the trunk of a police car |
(100) |
 |
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Woman whose Hummer broke down writes letter to newspaper complaining that she got no help, only a string of horns, fingers and obscenities from other drivers and she is "ashamed" of them. Hilarity ensues on op-ed pages |
(340) |
| (mcall) |
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Cop gives woman traffic ticket, then helps deliver her baby |
(23) |
 |
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George Washington: Patriot, president, moonshiner |
(78) |
| (Akron Beacon-Journal) |
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Students plan walkout in protest of impending teachers' strike, get suspended three at a time. I'm glad we live in America, where you don't get punished for speech |
(140) |
|
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Man stabs guy with pitchfork at garage sale. The devil, you say? |
(31) |
| (NYC.gov) |
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Look up 40 years of classic film/TV locations in New York City by location |
(28) |
| (heraldonline.com) |
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If neighbor's children break your wife's glasses, should you: A) Talk to the parents? B) Make kids work to pay for new pair? Or C) Blow up their house? |
(72) |
|
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Congress approves another $70 billion for war efforts. Don't worry, we won't have to pay for it, just our kids |
(203) |
|
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Two roads diverged in a wood, and I....I took the one less traveled by....and found an 88-year-old Robert Frost poem |
(70) |
| (turnto23.com) |
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Burglar orders pizza, does laundry, attacks woman. In that order |
(16) |
 |
|
Al Gore says cigarette smoking causes global warming |
(490) |
 |
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Animal-rights freaks kill dozens of pets in protest of "exploitation." Yes, that is irony |
(146) |
| (Fox45) |
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College students upset that university won't reimburse them for water damage after some dumbass sets off dorm sprinklers with an errant hacky sack |
(75) |
| (Some Maker) |
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How to make your very own retractable Wolverine claws for Halloween |
(73) |
| (A man with a plan) |
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D.C. Fark Party: Official reminder and clarification. Link goes to venue |
(77) |
 |
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The coolest pic you'll see today of the shuttle and space station silhoutted by the sun |
(68) |
|
|
Bush is attempting to pardon himself and his administration for war crimes before Congress is out of session |
(1250) |
|
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Gonzales tells Supreme Court to STFU and stop overriding the president's policies during wartime |
(370) |
|
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Rep. Mark Foley (R-Florida) withdraws from race after creepy email exchanges with 16-year-old former page |
(264) |
|
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Nothing says class like posing for a photograph dressed as the Virgin Mary, cradling someone resembling both your dead husband and Jesus Christ. But hey, it's Courtney Love, so there ya go (with pic) |
(158) |
| (NY Daily News) |
|
Using the pen name of Bob Woodward, Ric Romero's new book alleges that Bush and his deputies have been hiding the truth about Iraq |
(106) |
| (Daily Camera) |
|
Missing marine had cunning plan to fake death, establish new identity, stay in contact with friends through World of Warcraft |
(72) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Man busted with meth in his fake leg. Laughs when police pop his leg off to search |
(43) |
|
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Hamster escapes (man's arse) and disrupts flight |
(77) |
 |
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Colorado school gunman picked out his hostages by name, and may have researched them beforehand on -- wait for it -- MySpace |
(153) |
|
|
Today's "Thief unsuccessfully uses cab as getaway car" story brought to you by Sydney, Australia |
(8) |
|
 |
Muslims expected to riot after courteous Ramadan gift of a severed pig's head left at London mosque |
(267) |
| (Asheville Citizen-Times) |
|
NC State aims to keep students from urinating in stadium seats. Who knew this was a problem? |
(53) |
|
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Jack Abramoff -- the guy that no one can remember being at the White House -- was there hundreds of times |
(182) |
 |
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Judge rules it's not illegal to have sex in hot tub in own yard |
(177) |
|
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Consumer spending at all-time highs thanks to strong econo... what, largest decline in a year? Never mind |
(130) |
 |
|
Federal government issues mortgage rules and restrictions today, firmly shutting the barn door after the animals have fled. Heck of a good job, Feds |
(74) |
 |
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San Francisco cracks down on homeless people living in Golden Gate Park, who still smell better than the hippies next door in the Haight |
(96) |
| (KSAT) |
|
Doctor claims to heal by using time travel. Tardis, Daleks nowhere to be seen |
(67) |
| (Photoshop fan) |
|
Photoshop this little plane |
(75) |
|
|
Florida cop killer reduced to Jamaican Swiss cheese after refusing to show hands to angry law enforcement. Dead officer's pistol found on what was left of his body |
(294) |
| (Some Mancunian) |
|
Not news: Man gets speeding fine. News: Man invents Bulgarian colleague whom he claims was driving the car at the time. Fark: Man's wife flies to Bulgaria to post fake postcard from fake Bulgarian as fake evidence |
(38) |
| (CentreDaily) |
|
Man shows up in court wearing a box on his head |
(57) |
|
|
The top 10 animal senses humans don't have |
(298) |
 |
|
Japan's new prime minister talks about increasing military power, preemptive strikes, encouraging patriotism among school children and, oh, getting rid of that pesky passivist constitution. Because it went so well last time |
(202) |
|
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Today's school shooting brought to you by Weston, Wisconsin |
(365) |
 |
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Anna Nicole Smith marries Howard Stern (no, not that one) as a closer to her month-long reality show on CNN |
(91) |
 |
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Surprise, surprise. Selfish, self-centered boomers seek more "me" time. Change the world. Yeah, right |
(204) |
 |
|
Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper cuts funding to literacy, while his wife campaigns for literacy. Someone didn't get the memo |
(118) |
|
|
Si vous habitez Lyon en France et que vous venez de voir deux kangourous sauter par votre fenêtre, ne vous rendez pas |
(116) |
| (NY Daily News) |
|
Dear Mom: Seeing as we just ended the Cuban missile crisis, I'd appreciate it if you'd stop writing Nikita Khrushchev fan letters asking for autographed photos because it's causing some problems at work. Love, JFK |
(47) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
If only there was something we could have done |
(117) |
 |
|
Russians aghast as Putin abandons dark suits in favor of translucent shirts that show off his "rippling muscles" |
(77) |
|
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"Results of the women's dragon-boat racing event were reviewed after athletes complained of 'big women with Adam's apples.' Referees subsequently found that several of the competitors were actually men wearing wigs" |
(60) |
 |
|
Dustin Diamond explains sex tape, saying his friends film their exploits, exchange the tapes and keep score, awarding points for certain acts. And according to him, these are "profile" people |
(167) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
How to beat anyone at "Rock, Paper, Scissors" |
(138) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Canadian engineers develop vehicle that gets 3,000 mpg, eh? Ready to go oot and aboot? |
(111) |
| (NBC-2.com) |
|
Prostitute steals man's pants when he says he doesn't have enough money to pay her afterwards... Man later arrested for indecent exposure for lack of said pants |
(38) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop this fellow passing out leaflets |
(80) |
|
|
U.S. fastfood chains sued over carcinogenic chicken. Cows with signs expected to be added as defendants |
(89) |
 |
|
Top five user-rated cellphones. Your phone isn't there because it sucks |
(243) |
 |
|
Clubbing gains popularity in Cape Cod after researchers announce that seal populations are out of control |
(66) |
|
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Powered exoskeleton available in Japan. Alien queen not included |
(108) |
| (Herald Net) |
|
Apparently, no one informed these 747 pilots that the plane's autopilot was equipped with a special 'Plunge 2,800 feet in close proximity of the ground and make everyone crap their pants' button |
(84) |
|
|
| (WCDB - Count On 2) |
|
Something you read everyday: 3 Charged in armed holdup of movie rental store. Not surprising: Culprits are 2 males and 1 female. Fark.com: The female is 14, one male is 12, the other is 9 years old |
(71) |
| (Blog This) |
|
What's your beer personality? |
(242) |
| (Some Map Guy) |
|
5000 years of Middle East history in 90 seconds |
(160) |
 |
 |
How do I make my cubicle look more like a pirate ship? LGN DIT |
(172) |
| (Harper's) |
|
Mayor replies to woman who complained about police officers eating bananas at a civil rights rally |
(138) |
 |
|
Millionaire marries sixth wife... his own daughter |
(390) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop this old lady |
(106) |
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Kid on NBC discussing his stand-off with the Colorado school gunman when he refused to leave the girls behind a) has a brass set b) is now really popular c) wasn't even in the room |
(145) |
| (Daily Mail) |
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Childrun at Montesori schools are bettr edumacated than them that didn't not go. Any body esle beleive this? Didnt think that neither |
(141) |
| (LA Weekly) |
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The US/Mexico border fence used to deter illegal immigrants also doubles as a biatchin' volleyball net |
(56) |
| (Some Guy) |
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US Coast Guard to open and operate unmarked machine gun firing ranges on Lake Ontario. What could possibly go wrong? |
(65) |
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If you're starring in a play, be sure to remove the props from your wardrobe before getting it dry-cleaned. Especially if the props are handwritten notes detailing murder-suicide plots |
(22) |
| (Some Guy) |
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What does music look like? "The Shape of Song" is an attempt to answer this seemingly paradoxical question |
(73) |
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MSNBC asks if men really want a homemaker wife, discover that most would prefer a Dutch Rudder to a June Cleaver |
(74) |
| (Some Hick Paper) |
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Rule number one if you are drinking and driving: don't attract the attention of the cops... this includes abstaining from giving them the finger while driving past them |
(12) |
 |
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Ever heard of LEAP? It stands for "Law Enforcement Against Prohibition", and they want to end the drug war the only logical way possible |
(263) |
| (TPM) |
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Goodbye Magna Carta, its been a good 791 years. We hardly knew ye |
(388) |
| (Centre Daily Times) |
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Not news: Chefs attempting to break pancake stacking record fail due to architectural instability. FARK: Yeah, that and the fact they only made half as many pancakes as the previous record holders |
(39) |
| (Record Online) |
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Borat is in D.C. stalking George Bush (with video goodness) |
(113) |
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School suspends four 8th-grade girls because they wore identical outfits on the same day |
(238) |
| (WOOD TV) |
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Today's "Mother of the Year" nominee comes from Hasting, MI. Apparently, milk and bleach look very similar |
(60) |
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Officer forces prostitute to have sex with him. Prostitute steals his badge, turns him in. Cop calls prostitute to get it back. Hilarity ensues |
(94) |
| (Eagle Tribune) |
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85-year-old grandmother fends off armed home invasion by grabbing the robber, shoving him out the front door, telling him to get off her lawn |
(18) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Teacher buys page in yearbook to stick it to the man on her way out to retirement |
(137) |
| (Widget Lover) |
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Cut and paste online widgets for your website or blog. Paging Drew |
(48) |
| (NewsChannel10) |
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Paper Industry International Hall of Fame to honor female inventor of flat-bottom bags. In other news, there's a Paper Industry International Hall of Fame |
(32) |
| (Daily Mail) |
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IKEA profits plunge as people start buying furniture that doesn't come flat-packed with a goddamn Allen key |
(146) |
 |
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"I have monkeys in my pants" |
(72) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Gimme an S! Gimme a C! Gimme an A! Gimme an M! What's that spell? |
(65) |
| (1+1=1) |
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"People went there for one purpose: to sell drugs and to prostitute," says mathematically gifted officer |
(106) |
| (BayNews 9) |
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Schools in Lakeland, FL under lockdown as police search for gunman. Two Polk County deputies shot |
(161) |
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CNN asks, "What causes a teen to kill?" Neglect, poverty, uninvolved parents... what? Oh here it is, at the bottom: GOTH MUSIC. Whew, thought they were losing it |
(298) |
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Step 1: Become mayor of small Arkansas town. Step 2: Offer to exchange city water service for sex. Step 3: Fark.com |
(48) |
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Moving a couch on the subway. Submitter unable to think of a funny line that would defeat the asshatery of the video |
(162) |
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The dish in front of me is grey and shiny. "Russian dog," says my waitress Nancy. "Big dog," I reply. "Yes," she says. "Big dog's penis..." |
(161) |
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Cablevision busted for giving stock options to dead man. Executives insist they thought he was just watching another "Lost" recap episode |
(18) |
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400-year-old English tradition, in which people carry barrels of flaming tar on their backs, comes to an end because insurance agents finally sobered up and refused to sell policies for the event |
(43) |
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Who controls what children eat: Their parents, or the TV? If you said "TV", the FCC would like to tell you about their wonderful benefits package |
(119) |
| (Deadspin) |
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ESPN Mobile finally gets flushed |
(62) |
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Parents concerned that t-shirts with suggestive messages like "Spank me it's my birthday" are sending boys the wrong message about their daughters |
(302) |
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To no one's great surprise, guy who shot up Colorado school revealed to be a creepy, pockmarked asshat who lived in his car |
(337) |
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Chinese are pissed at Japanese. Again. But this time it's over an "insulting" video game, not like, Nanking or Unit 731 or stuff |
(103) |
| (The Local) |
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Wedding ring returned to owner after 47 years at bottom of lake. Owner promptly vanishes and heads off to Mordor |
(69) |
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Cops pul over guy for driving erratically, arrest him for DUI. Joke and lawsuit is on them, he was actually having a stroke |
(165) |
| (WGAL) |
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Man convicted of 18 DUIs tells judge he will never drink and drive again… hiccup |
(55) |
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"I am not a pedophile," says pedophile |
(150) |
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U.S. military develops "unmanned shape-changing ultrasonic bomber" to replace aging missiles (with pic that's only slightly more speculative than article) |
(127) |
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Institute for The Breathtakingly Obvious releases report saying newspapers can save their asses if they concentrate on giving local readers local news and information |
(37) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Russia reacts to Georgia's spy allegations by farting in its general direction |
(33) |
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"That's not Halloween decorations." Pre-Guliani NYC makes a brief comeback |
(107) |
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Jesus saves, but also accepts plastic at Georgia church's electronic "giving kiosks" |
(328) |
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Boston suburb may drop Horatio Alger festival after they hear that he was a pedophile. Should have read his books "Rough and Ready," "Ben the Luggage Boy" and "Mark the Match Boy" |
(84) |
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Batman to the rescue in New Hampshire, where he was moonlighting as a convenient store clerk |
(82) |
| (Photoshop fan) |
|
Photoshop this zorb |
(106) |
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Woman avoids jail in assault with dead dog |
(23) |
 |
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Daniel Smith reportedly killed by a "classic combination" of drugs. No word yet on what will finally kill this story |
(113) |
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Teacher strips in class. This is only cool if you like 56-year-old Chinese men |
(59) |
| (CBS Sportsline) |
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Despite two days of prayer, Shaun Alexander will be out with injuries, proving God, like referees, is not a Seattle Seahawk fan |
(146) |
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7-Eleven, Citgo deny fuel move tied to Chavez jab. Still trying to find someone to believe their denials |
(82) |
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Oy vey, latest tropical depression to become tropical storm Isaac. Don't ask him to roll on shabbos |
(84) |
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Evidence lost again in John Mark Karr's child pornography trial... can't they just lock him up for being weird and creepy? |
(100) |
| (Herald News) |
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Woman calls police to report that her neighbor was having sex in a hot tub in the middle of the day. Difficulty: Her neighbor is a female police officer. Hellooooo media frenzy (with pic of Officer Bangsalot) |
(421) |
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USS Macon found. If you are wondering what the USS Macon is, think Hindenburg, but over the Pacific and in 1935 |
(104) |
| (ksat) |
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Unruly Brazilian teenagers disrupt United Airlines flight by "speaking a foreign language over the intercom" and blocking the cockpit. What could possbily go wrong? |
(190) |
| (Chattanoogan) |
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City's kudzu-eating goat ruled by coroner to have died of natural causes. City still hiring two donkeys for goat security |
(58) |
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Saudis plan fence to keep Iraxicans out |
(96) |
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News: U.S. citizen immigrates to Cuba. Fark: Not a political statement, he got in trouble at school and lost his computer and iPod |
(82) |
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Market nears Dow record on news that T.O. did not try to kill himself and is simply a dumbass |
(83) |
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HP's general counsel Ann Baskins resigns as part of ongoing purge of women from company |
(46) |
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England's high-pitched alarms, designed to annoy teenagers from loitering, has been adapted to cellphone ringtones and dance music. The System is Down |
(100) |
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Miami airport pays $2 million to run an empty train in Japan. "It's just one of those things" |
(48) |
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Illegal immigration just got a whole lot more interesting: Hot Brazilian maids, sex tapes, blackmail, judges doing coke and of course the Albanian mafia |
(75) |
| (OC Register) |
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Usually, a story about a naked man and little head has nothing to do with running in traffic and an accidental decapitation |
(33) |
| (Daily Mail) |
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Today's "kangaroo and a clown having a boxing match" story brought to you from China |
(24) |
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Dogs trained by the MPAA can sniff out pirated DVDs at airports. They also sniff out legal DVDs at airports, which makes the whole thing pretty much useless, but hey, cute doggie |
(100) |
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100-million-year-old fossil of stingray fails to sell at auction; provides media with opportunity to remind us that Steve Irwin is still dead |
(67) |
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Filling the void left by departing girls in bikinis, four Japanese superheroes show up and start hanging out next to Thai tanks |
(44) |
| (Sunderland Today) |
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If your impromptu magic act involves swinging a large samurai sword in front of a bunch of children, don't be surprised when the cops show up |
(22) |
| (WISH-TV) |
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Jailhouse justice: Victim's name forcibly tattooed on child murderer's forehead (with pic) |
(432) |
| (Some TFer) |
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Think of all the stupid things our president has said. Here is his top ten (with audio clip goodness) |
(295) |
| (WBAL) |
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Pizza joint in Diamond City, Arkansas wins bid to be town's post office as well. Managers now figuring out how they can deliver mangled pies six months late and to the wrong address in order to meet USPS performance standards |
(23) |
| (Spotted Augusta) |
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Today’s theme: College football fans who take things a little too far |
(40) |
| (Some Guy) |
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The coolest clouds you will ever see |
(82) |
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If you like beautiful girls, this means you're mentally lazy |
(119) |
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Five reasons to hate workaholics. Like you needed four more |
(114) |
| (Online Journal) |
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Report’s startling conclusion: Bombing people really pisses them off |
(38) |
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MySpace well ahead of YouTube as top online distributer of video |
(50) |
| (Wonkette) |
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College Republican beaten after leaving party; theorizes "militant leftist groups" may have attacked him, denies it has anything to do with being a drunken college asshat. (With awesome pic) |
(456) |
| (Some Guy) |
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For fabulous gas mileage, slather your hot rod in KY Jelly |
(44) |
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New hurricane-measurement system augmenting Saffir-Simpson scale is proposed; would rank big storms from from "windy" to "Bill O'Reilly" |
(29) |
| (EurekAlert.org) |
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Binge drinking teenagers more likely to be violent, drunk, cooler than you |
(57) |
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Bad: Hollywood is out of ideas. Worse: Australia has heaps of crap ideas and is about to spend $54m on them |
(47) |
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Australian town invaded by elderly tourists who chop down "no parking" signs and terrorize residents. "They can be quite confrontational. They are absolutely brazen, and they won't be intimidated" |
(43) |
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Giant 150-foot-long hornet spotted in Germany (pic) |
(119) |
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Sometimes you don't even have to write a headline, you just have cite the key words to convey the story: Dead guy. Pica. Distended bowel. Autopsy. Paper towel, a screw, a magnet and 54p in change |
(50) |
| (Baltic Times) |
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Former prime minister of Latvia adds a personal emphasis to a report that his country has the most dangerous roads in Europe by running over a pedestrian a few hours later |
(18) |
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Where's Osama? Apparently in Afghanistan having tea with Abe Vigoda |
(43) |
| (California Democrat) |
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Deer breaks into house, wife wrestles deer out of house, THEN husband shoots it |
(49) |
| (The Courier-Journal) |
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Army investigates whether Kentucky National Guard women posed nude with their M-16s and covered their breasts with American flag decals |
(96) |
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| (700 Club) |
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Christians begin their annual "Oh noes it's Halloween" complainathon |
(342) |
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Colorado hostage and gunman dead. Charlton Heston reportedly on his way to Colorado |
(87) |
| (Farktography) |
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Theme of Farktography Contest No. 73: "Cute kids" |
(309) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Photoshop this shack |
(78) |
| (Moneycentral) |
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7-Eleven, long known for its patriotism, has dropped Hugo Chavez' Citgo-brand communist gasoline |
(215) |
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Sean Connery says "Suck it, Trebek" will not appear on Celebrity Jeopardy |
(107) |
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The combined population (and political clout) of British Columbia and Alberta now exceeds that of Quebec. TOUT LE MONDE PANIQUENT |
(269) |
| (TheStreet) |
|
Hundreds of thousands of Sirius Satellite "subscribers" are actually unsold cars not being used by anybody except test-drivers and dead voters from Chicago |
(101) |
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Another pair of tragic firsts in Iraq War: First graduate of West Point "Class of 9/11" and first female West Point graduate are buried |
(540) |
|
|
Hostage situation at Colorado high school is over with gunman in custody. One student hostage injured |
(129) |
| (OC Register) |
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Stanford band suspended after shows that included circling the field before a game in a white Ford Bronco with bloody handprints on the door, and a halftime show called "What If David Duke Became President of Stanford?" |
(118) |
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Private Billy Windsor, who was recently disgraced and demoted, promoted back to his previous rank of lance-corporal after doing well in a parade. Not bad for a goat |
(16) |
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Two female Ukrainian wrestlers caught shoplifting $2500 of cosmetics, unaware that $5m in cosmetics couldn’t make a female Ukrainian wrestler look any better |
(64) |
| (PhillyBurbs) |
|
People applying for jobs at Philadelphia casino not happy about being asked to dance to "YMCA" in interviews. "I walked out," says one. "I had my head set to go in there to talk about accounting" |
(95) |
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German man faces fine for Nazi symbols that were displayed on his anti-Nazi symbols |
(226) |
|
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Iceland to turn off lights so people can view the night sky while an astronomer describes it over national radio |
(127) |
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T.O. now says he didn't try to commit suicide and the whole thing was just a "misunderstanding" |
(147) |
|
|
Hostage situation at Colorado high school |
(366) |
|
|
Experts call on India and China to save tigers, but neither country is exactly known for producing decent middle relievers or cleanup hitters who can hit a curveball |
(43) |
 |
|
Pair of idiots break into Dominos at 5:30 a.m. to bake up a batch of the chain's newly-introduced brownies. The Smoking Gun is there, with mugshot goodness |
(166) |
|
|
Anatomy of a last-minute political smear: "I didn't actually hear him use the N-word, but I heard someone say that they heard him say it, 36 years ago" |
(346) |
|
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Apple to Hollywood: Resistance is futile, assimilation is inevitable |
(132) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Jesus's brother has gubernatorial lead over Garfield creator in Florida race |
(64) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
"Tokyo Rose" passes away. Hirohito unavailable for comment |
(88) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Boy wants to impress his parents, so he robs a driver and leave clues where the police can find him |
(16) |
 |
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Man tasered after police clash with opossum |
(55) |
| (Some Terrorist) |
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Before you attempt to blow up an abortion clinic, be sure they actually perform abortions |
(219) |
| (Brussels Journal) |
|
Muslims riot in Belgium because it's that time of the holy month |
(384) |
| (Daily Texan) |
|
If you accepted a job at Travis County for the taxpayer-supported liposuction, you'll need to come up with another plan |
(34) |
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To prove HE'S still alive this week, al-Qaeda's No. 2 media whore to weigh in on the pope, Bush, Darfur and that crazy Chris Pontius with the horse chowder |
(106) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Robbers tie up employees using handcuffs sold at sex store. Were told to keep quiet or else some of the other merchandise was going to be used |
(57) |
| (IndustryWeek) |
|
Conference-call etiquette: When working from home, don't tell colleagues that you're wearing pink sweat pants or lederhosen. This is doubly true of telling them that you are naked |
(49) |
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Animal-rights activists proud of Chicago's foie gras ban. "Yes, there's cruelty in terrorism across the world. There's cruelty in Darfur. But, there's also cruelty going on with the geese" |
(123) |
| (Photoshop fan) |
|
Photoshop this starry bamboo mandala |
(80) |
| (Travel gear blog.com) |
|
Augmented breasts will require additional inspection at airports |
(104) |
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|
Sixty percent of workers experience road rage during their morning commut... HEY, IT'S A SHOULDER, DUMBASS, NOT A PASSING LANE! FARK YOU AND EVERYONE WHO LOOKS LIKE YOU |
(381) |
|
|
Remember all those scenarios we ran? Well, an Idaho couple is smack dab in the middle of one we never even thought of |
(77) |
| (WSMV Nashville) |
|
Scared of the dentist? Dental sedation is safe and affordable, and can put you in a peaceful, vegetative coma |
(195) |
| (Some Trekkie) |
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Just in case you needed to know: How to calculate BAC for Klingons and non-Terrans |
(41) |
|
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Thai leaders ban go-go girls from dancing near tanks and troops. Tanks for the memories, girls |
(31) |
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Apparently, there is a law against sending unsolicited material over something called a "fax machine," whatever the hell that is |
(58) |
|
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All hail the Republic of Farkistan |
(95) |
| (WNBC) |
|
Terrell Owens' spokeswoman says T.O. did not try to commit suicide, he just had a severe allergic reaction to medicine, much like his teammates have to him |
(217) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
If you call a plumber to your house and attempt to rob him at gunpoint, make sure he isn't trained in the martial arts |
(39) |
 |
|
Maxim's list of 10 sexiest anchors is full of truthiness |
(279) |
|
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Passenger on plane to Miami doesn't like seatmate's smell, sprays him with cologne |
(98) |
 |
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The half-million-dollar home in the quiet subdivision was stuffed with high-grade marijuana plants, thus explaining the overinflated housing market |
(57) |
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This week's "toddler passed out from alcohol" story brought to you by the good folks in Minneapolis |
(33) |
|
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British and Iraqi forces launch Operation Sinbad in Basra to rid the city of corrupt police, horrible comedians |
(72) |
| (heraldonline.com) |
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If you flag down police officer to ask for lift "to a house on the hill," you might want to get rid of marijuana in pocket first |
(103) |
| (KUTV Salt Lake) |
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Teacher discovers a new method to keep students in check... he tasers them |
(62) |
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Buy one house, get three strip clubs for free. No, really |
(32) |
| (NBC13) |
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If you're going to relax and watch some adult entertainment, you should at least get comfortable and get out of those restrictive clothes. Even if you are working in a middle school at the time |
(56) |
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Dumb: Being addicted to the lottery. Dumber: Stealing $2 million from your employer to spend on lottery tickets. Fark: Screaming for several minutes at the judge at your grand larceny sentencing |
(198) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Showing dirty pictures to complete strangers and photographing their reactions will earn you community service and sexual harrassment training |
(50) |
|
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There is a 100 percent chance of Windows error messages in the inland Central Florida area today |
(91) |
| (Business Week) |
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In case you can't draw a comparison, Krispy Kreme hires a big tobacco exec as their new CEO |
(106) |
|
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Report says Terrell Owens' hospitilization was for attempted suicide. Apparently just realized he was playing for Dallas Cowboys |
(566) |
|
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It's "Bring Your Baby to a Crack Deal" Day (with video) |
(48) |
 |
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Baseball's oldest oldtimer, Silas “Si” Simmons, found alive at 111 in Pittsburgh nursing home. Determined to be senile after telling how he loves watching Tampa Bay |
(43) |
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Children as young as 12 are getting hold of alcohol by ordering it over the phone with takeaway food. "One onion bhaji and 30 cans of lager, please" seemingly failing to raise suspicions |
(99) |
| (Algún individuo) |
|
La tentativa de la ciudad de New Jersey de hacer lengua oficial inglesa falla. Tu perro desea un chalupa |
(157) |
 |
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Terrell Owens hospitalized after trip to emergency room, should be released after application of Vagisil |
(167) |
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Two elderly men spice up retirement by waging war on each other, beating one another senseless, bashing the crap out of each other's cars and daring one another to cut across the damn lawn (with pic of mayhem) |
(53) |
| (SB Sun.Com) |
|
County in Southern Calif. is stuck with 60 million pounds of manure. Plans to build a giant catapult and fling it into L.A. County, where people will only notice an unexpected improvement |
(36) |
| (WFMZ) |
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Cool: Philadelphia bans smoking. Not cool: They don't tell anyone the details, and instead bar owners are just doing whatever the newspapers say. All hail our new media overlords |
(453) |
 |
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Despite tough new rules regarding racist and insulting language in cricket, Australians get assurances from human rights commission that they can still call British "Pommie bastards" during upcoming Ashes series there |
(47) |
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Study finds less than half of the Americans communities have begun preparing to deal with the needs of the elderly. For instance, only one in 100 has installed cement crash barriers around farmer's markets |
(24) |
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Sisters who won the right to play for boy's hockey team fail to make the cut |
(196) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
It's now cheaper to buy milk in Scotland than it is to buy water. Not that anyone is going to start, though |
(34) |
|
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Trailer trash male doll to be launched in the US. Contains phrases such as “Fifteen of them beers and yer still ugly.” |
(55) |
 |
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New report finds in-car DVD players pose deadly distraction to drivers. To drivers of adjacent cars, if you want to be precise |
(76) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Not quite sure what to get that annoying coworker for theHolidays? |
(51) |
|
|
Kate Moss back on the columbian dandruff again ? The Sun is there with an upnose picture |
(80) |
|
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Fox News throws party in CNN's face. CNN to crash party, get wasted, and hit on Fox News' girlfriend |
(72) |
| (News Trib) |
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Convict angry at three former crime partners rats them out in exchange for a plea bargain and a 17-year sentence, winds up serving more time than all but one of them. You sir, suck at crime |
(18) |
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Too much testosterone kills brain cells. Feminists rejoice, ignore that too little causes feminism |
(86) |
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Researchers creating fleet of "intelligent" unmanned vehicles for military use. Sure, they'll hunt down Sarah Connor, but only in their free time |
(25) |
| (Hans Bethe) |
|
"Quantum Mechanics Made Relatively Simple." Lack of difficulty: Relatively = Relativistic |
(49) |
| (Photoshop fan) |
|
Photoshop this proud knight |
(58) |
| (Some Putty Lover) |
|
You played with it as a kid; now, just like you, silly putty has grown up |
(41) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Most awesome houseboat you'll see today |
(21) |
| (Boston Herald) |
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In order to defend George Bush from Clinton's accusations, Condi Rice turns into a man (see article pic) |
(120) |
|
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Because Fark never has enough livestock news, rare triplet calves named Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow are doing well |
(17) |
|
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Nostalgia bringing food brands from the 1970s back |
(124) |
| (Aero News) |
|
FAA approves building of 680-foot-tall radio tower directly in the final approach path of a California airport's runway |
(47) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
The 10 occupations with the largest projected job growth in the next 8 years |
(140) |
|
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Convicted drunk driver cut off his electronic monitoring bracelet and put it on his dog so he could go drinking |
(35) |
|
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Condoleezza Rice claimed the air around Ground Zero now deemed rife with toxins was "safe to breathe," shortly after 9/11 |
(136) |
 |
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Elderly woman loses 4 fingers after her dog leash gets caught in elevator door -- with dog outside |
(59) |
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Slow News Day: The guy who's driven the same Volvo 2 million miles has just passed 4 million kilometers. For those in the United States, that's almost 2.5 million miles. For astronauts, that's almost 5 round-trips to the moon |
(91) |
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Weird Al's latest (no, even later than the one you're thinking about): Weasel Stomping Day |
(111) |
 |
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Vietnamese cricket breeders say the insects could soon become the new pretzels or beer nuts |
(35) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Man sits in apartment all day drinking Listerine before trying to stab homeless man with kitchen knife. When cops show, man frantically goes for what? Right, more Listerine -- its a helluva drug (w/mugshot goodness) |
(128) |
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Reason #12,456 why it sucks to live in Alaska: Fourpeaked Mountain volcano is ready to assplode |
(104) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Gallery of baby toupees |
(53) |
| (Twin Cities) |
|
Dow closes today at the second highest level ever, coming a close second to October 23, 1929 |
(174) |
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"Numerous complaints have been peppering the blogosphere today: Google and its accompanying services, including Gmail, appear to be experiencing outages. As they say at Fark.com, 'EVERYBODY PANIC'" |
(69) |
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Having solved all its other problems, New York City now considering making trans fats in food illegal |
(301) |
| (Wikipedia) |
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Photoshop the coolest photo of pollen you'll see today |
(80) |
| (Some Architect Site) |
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Overcrowding at the Louvre. Just slip out the back, make a new plan, hop on the bus. There must be 50 ways to leave the Louvre |
(86) |
| (Some FlyerTalker) |
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Guy writes "[TSA Director] Kip Hawley is an idiot" on his regulation quart bag for toiletry screening; hilarity ensues |
(330) |
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Two ex-Sago miners, who's job was watching over safety at the Sago Mine before the deadly explosion last January, commit suicide |
(33) |
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Man who had penile implant that malfunctioned causing him to have an erection for 10 years might not be able to go for the moneyshot |
(37) |
 |
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Man challenges panhandler's veteran status, panhandler challenges man's unstabbed status |
(106) |
 |
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Kentucky man wearing only a thong and carrying knife videotapes himself breaking into apartment then leaves tape behind. "This is a very, very bizarre case, to say the least," understate police |
(44) |
 |
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AOL discovers George Bush's search history |
(125) |
 |
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Finally, a community dedicated to find and rate the best in porn |
(75) |
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The painting of the Mona Lisa was done to commemorate the birth of her second child, says panel of experts who routinely pull theories out of their ass |
(28) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Comcast blocks access to Google, Gmail. This is what no Net Neutrality looks like |
(220) |
 |
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It may be ill-advised to eat a mushroom called the Eastern American Destroying Angel |
(88) |
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That terror report that got declassified? It doesn't say what W thought it did |
(408) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Man gets Betty Paige mural on the side of his house as a present. Who would have ever thought a roof beam could be strategically censoring? |
(84) |
| (Some Guy) |
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The weirdest motorized vehicles ever made |
(63) |
| (Chattanoogan) |
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"City loses kudzu-eating goat, to bring in guard donkey" |
(17) |
| (KHOU) |
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Professor Dumbass: Seriously, that kiddie porn on my campus computer was research |
(53) |
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Pueblo smoking ban reduces local heart attack rate by 27 percent. Here comes the "B-b-but private business owners rights..." |
(345) |
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Archives opens up "centuries of British sex." Bring your own eye bleach (SFW) |
(39) |
| (Deadspin) |
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Investigative reporter famous for catching people masturbating at library is confronted by "Daily Show" correspondent. Guess who is not amused? |
(78) |
| (Some Iowan) |
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Dude, cops are here at our underage drinking party. I know, let's jump out the second-floor window face-first |
(34) |
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Not news: Uwe Boll challenges critics to fight. News: Several critics take him up on it. Fark.com: Boll kicks all of their asses, hard |
(120) |
| (Jesus the Pimp) |
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Unnecessary. Just completely unnecessary |
(201) |
 |
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Guy makes $175,000 claiming he was the victim of armed robberies and tapping into victims of crime fund to cover his alleged losses |
(11) |
| (The Motley Fool) |
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Casey Serin, 24-year-old self-made real estate mogul, goes into shockingly candid detail on his blog about how he used mortgage fraud to build his empire. Luckily, no lawyers ever read things on the Internet |
(105) |
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Today's "184 dead cats in a house" story brought to you by Maryland. Again |
(63) |
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Following human-rights ruling that allows girls to try out for boys' athletic teams, more and more guys want to get on the girls' teams, and not just for the towel fights in the locker rooms |
(225) |
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Husband says wife stabbed herself in the stomach after an argument. Dude, you need to work on that story a bit |
(57) |
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Looks like this air traffic supervisor picked the wrong week to quit not having sex on the job |
(39) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Here's your chance to prove you're the most hardcore bachelor ever: Make dishwasher-poached salmon |
(89) |
 |
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Eerily mirroring the Boston Red Sox season, Hood Blimp crashes on its way to Fenway Park |
(49) |
| (Some Guy) |
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There's a new buzz word floating around the online dating world: "The Undatables." You probably know them better as "farkers" |
(433) |
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Health-insurance premiums skyrocket to double the rate of inflation. You really don't need that brain tumor removed after all, huh? |
(174) |
| (KHOU Houston) |
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Car designed to thwart thefts is stolen |
(59) |
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"Street Wars" -- a squirt gun assassin game played over three weeks in New York -- is the new rage. Again |
(88) |
 |
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Alderman who developed town's ethics code is the first to be brought up on violating the ethics code |
(40) |
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Now you can drink to your heart's content with this new drug that can repair your liver. Hooray, beer! |
(104) |
 |
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Idiots carjack lady waiting on tow truck |
(28) |
| (Realbeer.com) |
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British pubs to sell beer at 1982 prices next week |
(55) |
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Step 1: Allow users to register bank accounts online so they can send payment by email. Step 2: Don't bother verifying that accounts are legitimate. Step 3: Allow scammers to profit |
(20) |
 |
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U.S. tourist arrested with two pounds of cocaine concealed in her beehive hairdo. Authorities still on the lookout for Kate Pierson and Fred Schneider |
(47) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Cool photos of the world's biggest hole, and it isn't Courtney Love or Paris Hilton |
(133) |
|
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Australian politician complains country's men are turning into "metrosexual knobs and tossbags" |
(69) |
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Not getting the deal that you wanted on the car sale does not give you the right to cut the salesman with a machete |
(39) |
| (Richmond Times Dispatch) |
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Redneck man attacks woman with his tractor, now insists on calling his tractor a backho |
(49) |
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United States falls from first to sixth in its global competitiveness index. Sad tag outsourced to Obvious |
(293) |
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Abe elected Japanese prime minister. Honest |
(51) |
| (MosNews) |
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Russians say "The Day After Tomorrow"-like flood not coming soon. Everybody celebrate with aerosol cans |
(76) |
|
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University of Toronto prof gets official blessing to smoke pot in his office |
(307) |
| (Some Farkette) |
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Photoshop these two nuts |
(77) |
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Agency makes breaking up easier. It’s not you, it’s me, but for 20 euros I can hire a guy to say it |
(150) |
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Thieves steal 300-pound, solid concrete, hog-shaped lawn ornament, leaving only the ears. Proprietor of "Porky's" wanted for questioning |
(15) |
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Opera that features severed heads of Jesus, Buddha, Poseidon and Mohammed canceled because it might drive Christians, Buddhists and pagans to acts of violence. Yeah, right |
(216) |
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Republicans transfer Iraq policy to websites. Security flaw? There’s no security flaw, unless you believe those cut-and-paste Democrats |
(66) |
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Message in a bottle turns Florida teen into Spanish celebrity. Sting unavailable for comment |
(42) |
| (kxtv) |
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Woman gives birth to own grandson |
(88) |
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WorldCom ex-CEO Bernie Ebbers to begin cashing out his cock options today |
(77) |
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Think you have bad luck? Read this poor guy's obituary and think again |
(236) |
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Caption this ridiculously awesome photo of Kinky Friedman and Jesse Ventura |
(78) |
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Japanese man confesses to murder after statute of limitation expires; is immediately sued by family for ¥3.3 million |
(60) |
| (Some Cat) |
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My cat has made a habit of sitting on my router, right over the vent. Is this a big deal or should I be shooing her? |
(353) |
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Glitch makes advertising for adult channels appear on Scottish Parliament's TV system. Oops |
(25) |
| (EurekAlert) |
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Researchers find that many people lack the basic reading and math skills to assess nutrional labels on packages, recommend replacing them with "This will make you fat" or "This will make you REALLY fat" |
(106) |
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Sheriff's office endures 92 lap dances for $6400 to protect us from erotic dancers |
(51) |
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Scotland not considered to be a land of culinary delights. Haggis afficianados surrender |
(51) |
| (PW Insider) |
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EBaum's TV show cancelled, contract cut. Rumor has it USA Networks will still air it without paying anyone and claim credit for itself |
(241) |
| (hamptonroads.com) |
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Letting that homeless guy sleep in the abandoned Ford Explorer in the frontyard can be hazardous to your health |
(56) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Tired sci-fi clichés that must be retired |
(399) |
|
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Drug company executive admits to giving doctors lavish "seminars" in which they recruited former cheerleaders to attend. This is not to be confused with "semenars" |
(119) |
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Scientists to reveal new Mona Lisa secrets, beginning with the fact that the original is hanging in Jimmy the Toucan's living room |
(56) |
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Australian high school student who convinced Miss Universe to attend his school dance only to get stood up finally gets to have lunch with her |
(45) |
| (Jalopnik) |
|
New Chevy Silverado ad campaign, deemed "most important product launch in GM history," includes "patriotic" spec ads superimposed over nuclear explosion, 9/11 attacks. What could possibly go right? |
(168) |
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"I'm gonna kill you, biatch." *Pours gasoline* Flick flick. "Goddammit." Flick. Flick flick flick. "Shiat." Flick. Flick.... "Hey, where'd you go?" |
(56) |
| (Tiimes Herald Record (NY)) |
|
Ye ole "Pee and Flee" strategy proves effective again |
(31) |
| (TechDirt) |
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LimeWire files suit accusing the RIAA of antitrust violations, consumer fraud and general douchebaggery |
(137) |
 |
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When playing with sawed-off shotguns, it's best to keep your fingers away from barrel |
(45) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Photoshop the way out |
(84) |
| (Some Guy) |
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"When police arrived, they found Tim Smith running naked through a nearby pasture, chasing horses and pulling their tails" |
(57) |
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China bans popular line of skin whiteners due to side effects, which apperently include a burning desire for Wonder bread, mayonnaise and Celine Dion |
(86) |
 |
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Detroit four-year-old finds officer's gun. What could possibly go wrong? |
(164) |
| (KSL) |
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When driving on the Interstate, the Love Sac has the right of way |
(43) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
First rule of Newfoundland Fight Club: Don't make a website about Newfoundland Fight Club |
(45) |
|
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If your kid has already written off three Barbie Ferarris, you better start saving for insurance now |
(15) |
|
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Ugly-ass baby panda born in its natural Atlanta habitat |
(24) |
| (Times of India) |
|
"This is your captain speaking. We, uh, just hit a bird, so please remove your shoes" |
(44) |
|
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Business owners surprised to find their flashy electronic signs are illegal under Tampa law |
(21) |
| (Birmingham News) |
|
How do you protect your meth lab? Alarm? Nope. Dogs? Nah. Explosives? Now you're talking |
(44) |
|
|
Researchers investigating reports of gay men who willingly contract AIDS just for kicks |
(301) |
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A Steve Irwin fan will feed his baby's placenta to goannas to bring his son closer to the reptile world. Good luck with that |
(38) |
| (KGBT 4) |
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Art teacher fired after taking kids to an art museum where they saw *gasp* nude sculptures |
(246) |
| (Some Guy) |
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Not news: Man flies from Australia for a wedding. News: Gets arrested after getting drunk the night before the wedding for pounding on doors at 3:00 a.m. and getting a gun pointed at his head. Fark: Arrested again for masturbating while in lockup |
(28) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
In the interest of being fair and balanced, FOX wipes every upload of the Clinton/Wallace interview from YouTube |
(642) |
| (WRAL) |
|
Think your town's annual festival stinks? Hundreds of people gathered in Ohio town this weekend to cuddle up to skunks |
(17) |
 |
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"I don't know what sort of person is running around with a sackful of panties and a large inflatable penis" |
(44) |
|
|
U. of Colorado, come on down, you're the next contestants on "College Computer With SSNs Stolen" |
(34) |
|
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Three-year-old logs onto parents' computer, successfully bids on £9,000 pink Barbie car. Also tells WOPR to nuke Las Vegas, Seattle |
(42) |
|
|
Today's "Bride rides a camel to her wedding" story brought to you by Norco, California |
(23) |
| (WOWT) |
|
Woman, scammed out of $6000, calls scammers saying she has contacted the FBI. They call her back claiming to be an FBI agent, and that their company is legitimate. Since this is on Fark, you can guess what happened |
(86) |
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Top 20 "whitest" and "blackest" names listed. "Maroonest" names reported to be Elmer, Yosemite |
(440) |
|
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Man attacks driver with tomahawk in road rage incident, damn near scalping him. To be charged under his native name, "Drives With Left Blinker On" |
(22) |
 |
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Woman exacts revenge on former classmate who stole high school boyfriend. Why is this on Fark? She was a nurse, and this was following a surgical procedure |
(58) |
 |
|
Now that Fark is currency, photoshop some bills and coins |
(42) |
| (Fort Wayne) |
|
Peanut butter could pay for your kid's college education. Ramen noodles scholarship not yet available |
(20) |
|
|
Idaho man -- who pawned rifle for a washing machine because his grandmother was too poor to buy one -- gets gun back 50 years later |
(100) |
|
|
UK troops kill new al-Qaeda No. 2 in Iraq. No. 6 moves to QB5 |
(111) |
| (Some Retro Gamer) |
|
Classic Midway arcade games: Joust, Robotron, Defender, Tapper, more |
(94) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Earthquakes hit South Carolina for the second time in four days. EVERYBODY PANIC |
(93) |
| (Financial Times) |
|
With low oil prices threatening those handy extra profits some of their members are plowing into fundamentalist madrassas and rockets for Hezbollah, OPEC may lower output to decrease supply |
(59) |
|
|
Mythbusters try to create worldwide yawn in experiment (with link to YouTube yawn video that does not include Paris Hilton) |
(86) |
| (Monterey Herald) |
|
Teddy Ruxpin goes on a rampage and kills thousands. "Believed to be the first stuffed bear to cause fatalities at the facility" |
(76) |
|
|
Monday Night Football discussion thread |
(617) |
|
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SpaceLoft XL rocket crashes shortly after takeoff, making it eligible for NASA funding |
(90) |
|
|
Homelessness to end in Minneapolis in 10 years. Maybe sooner if the winters are cold enough |
(52) |
|
|
Woman gets teabagged by dead bat |
(61) |
| (BloggerNews) |
|
Woman that let her baby hit a bong has sentence reduced based on technicality |
(66) |
|
|
AOL sued over release of 650,000 users' search histories. The guy with all the queries about "class action suits" was probably the one who initiated it |
(102) |
|
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Man wins javelin-throwing competition by about a foot. Unfortunately, the foot was still attached to the line judge (with pic) |
(93) |
| (semiT gninevE) |
|
Average woman will spend two years of her life looking into a mirror. rorrim a otni gnikool efil reh fo sraey owt dneps lliw namow egarevA |
(127) |
|
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Chinese automaker may make Chrysler's new subcompact model. And you thought the K-Car would be the company's unchallenged pinnacle of suck of all time |
(90) |
|
|
Crying baby on trans-Atlantic flight gets applause from passengers thankful that blood-curdling screams of birthing mother finally stopped |
(117) |
|
|
If you need to transport 48 pounds of marijuana, UPS is not the most secure method |
(194) |
 |
|
Subway's Jared has graduated to the elementary school motivational speaking circuit, engages children on the benefits of six-inchers |
(105) |
| (WOOD TV) |
|
Man tries to get money from Wal-Mart using fried-chicken scam, but clucks up his plan by trying it too many times |
(42) |
| (LSE.co.uk) |
|
Paris Hilton, fresh off a drunk driving arrest, decides it's a good idea to star in wine advertisement |
(83) |
| (TheState.com) |
|
Bacardi denies its 151 rum caused bar burn injuries, says it was the idiot with the lighter |
(130) |
|
|
Theme: Baseball park promotions that, in hindsight, were not such great ideas after all |
(63) |
|
|
"Light" cigarette smokers can sue tobacco companies en bloc, claiming they were misled into thinking such were healthier smokes |
(333) |
|
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Polish prime minister calls major press conference to urge citizens to feed the ducks this winter |
(36) |
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Origin of antibiotic-resistant bacteria has French doctors stumped. "It can't be French because it is capable of resistance," notes one doctor |
(149) |
| (Rocky Mountain News) |
|
Man who suffered stab wound helping 65-year-old mugging victim loses home to medical bills. There is a lesson here |
(246) |
|
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Turns out the Osama-is-dead story was only cocktail party yakkety-yak involving a French diplomat |
(93) |
| (Bloomberg) |
|
Chief executives for non-profit charity organizations earned an average of $327,575 last year |
(161) |
| (Some Guy) |
|
Idiot who attacked a local Fox reporter arrested again after stand-off with police. Pepper-spraylarity ensued |
(81) |
|
|
Faith-based stock portfolios are one of the fastest growing financial trends, according to this article that has seen print at least once a year since 1990 |
(92) |
| (MyDD) |
|
With the Net Neutrality bill dying in congress, telecom companies now trying to sneak legislation through at the state level. Pennsylvania could be facing a tube blockage of major proportions |
(71) |
|
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On 5th anniversary of 9/11, Mets attempt to honor WTC responders by wearing baseball caps representing seven agencies that responded to the attacks. The 8th agency is not amused |
(60) |
 |
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If you can't remember where you left your "suspicious remote control device," it's not in your couch. Pittsburgh police found it in the stolen car they chased you from last night |
(40) |
| (Taipei Times) |
|
Tanks pull out of Bangkok, pay it five dollars, pray to God they didn't catch anything |
(62) |
| (Prague Daily Monitor) |
|
IAEA Commisioner at Czech nuclear plant wanders off, falls into cooling tank |
(60) |
|
|
Pope Benedict declares his "total and profound respect for Muslims." Pope forgets to mention this is only the case after they convert to Roman Catholicism |
(274) |
 |
|
British sperm banks near empty after donor anonymity lifted. Yes, this is what could have gone wrong |
(113) |
|
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Debate rages over new Confucious image. By "debate rages," they mean respectful dialogue, not riotting and arson and beheading |
(135) |
| (Bergen Record) |
|
News: Off-duty fireman rushes to scene of fire. Fark.com: He gets drunk and steals a fire truck to get there |
(32) |
| (Time) |
|
"That people won't pay for news on the Internet isn't as devastating as it seems. People don't pay for news, they pay for the paper. So in theory, giving away the news without the paper looks like a good deal" |
(73) |
|
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High school football player facing assault charges after putting thumbtack in glove before shaking hands and high-fiving rival team's players; is immediatedly offered contract with Bengals |
(136) |
| (myfoxny.com) |
|
Apparently, lip gloss and hand lotion no longer dangerous on planes (if you buy them at airport) |
(141) |
|
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Woman recovering from major surgery gets letter from doctor expressing his regret that she died |
(40) |
| (News4Jax) |
|
Teen Fire Explorer completes requirements for arson merit badge after setting home ablaze |
(15) |
|
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L.A. community leaders solve all crime, sets sights on real problems... like ironically named energy drinks |
(91) |
| (NBC5) |
|
You can win unlimited line-jumping privileges at Six Flags this October by eating live, Hissing Madagascar cockroaches. PETA refers to this act as "gratuitously cruel," which, incidentally, is how this submitter refers to Six Flags admission |
(247) |
|
|
To see what's new at Palm Beach Atlantic University, visit the restroom |
(47) |
 |
|
NYC subways are the safest they have been since 1969, which, coincidentally, was the last time they were cleaned |
(100) |
|
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Hard hitting investigative journalism at its finest: The Prince Charles Boiled Egg Mystery |
(30) |
|
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Priorities, prioirities. Just another day for the legal sytem as Tampa bikini-club owners in Tampa go to federal court fight to allow customers to be able to touch the bikini girls |
(102) |
|
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Old and busted bar food: Peanuts. New hotness bar food: Deep-fried crickets |
(60) |
|
|
Whatever Brownie points the Scottish earned with good behavior at this summer's World Cup, they're rapidly spending at this year's Munich Beer Festival by glassing the locals after asking "Ye want a wee kiss, de ya?" |
(52) |
|
|
British Airlines plane carrying 370 people catches fire on takeoff in Los Angeles, makes emergency landing-- in Manchester -- after pilot tells controllers he wants to see how far he can go |
(243) |
|
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Pittsburgh Fark Party this Thursday, 7:00 p.m. ~~ Five days and counting ~~ Join us and party til you stop ~~ Be there or, well, be elsewhere ~~ LGT party location |
(22) |
| (CTV.ca) |
|
Weird: Canadian border guards at four BC crossings walked off the job. Weirder: Because an armed and dangerous criminal is suspected to be headed their way. Weirdest: The guards are legally allowed to leave because they are unarmed |
(95) |
|
|
Futher proof that state gun control doesn't work: Shocking new figures reveal police in Scotland fired their guns in the line of duty a shocking 34 times in seven years |
(198) |
|
|
World's first hypoallergenic cats selling for $4,000 each (with pics) |
(95) |
|
|
Theme: Hollywood looks back to fairy tales for inspiration |
(48) |
|
|
Oil drops below $60 a barrell on news that Da Bears have the best defense in the NFL |
(107) |
| (DailyTech) |
|
"Grand Theft Auto" fan steals car. While ignoring the other 19,000+ car thefts this year, media and senators expected to go nuts in three... two... one... |
(55) |
 |
|
Local moms compete for "Hottest Mom in America" title |
(267) |
| (Some Lawn) |
|
Photoshop this cute scene |
(55) |
Farkives
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