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To read articles, click the icon left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.
Sun December 14, 2003: SUBMIT A LINK # of Comments
[The Sun] [Asinine] Slimming club serves doughnuts and crisps (4)
[C|Net] [Spiffy] Game industry leads race for digital 'uberdevice' (10)
[SFGate] [Asinine] Football celebrations reach new low after Saints player makes cell phone call from the end zone (86)
[Yahoo] [Amusing] Berliners treated to Christmas underwear models. "Ja, das ist sehr gut." says local lederhosen retailer (46)
(Northern Times) [Strange] A shepherd named Shepherd is banned from shepherding due to being a baa-aa-aa-aa-ad shepherd (29)
[Fox News] [Amusing] Weather futures popular with investors. Super-villains, start your weather controlling devices (36)
[Free Press] [Obvious] Watching poker tournaments on ESPN2 will not make you a better gambler (53)
(Some Guy) [Photoshop] What does DPS stand for? (Link goes to GIS) (91)
[MDN] [Dumbass] Guy influenced by Evangelion kills mother (136)
(Some Riesbeck) [Silly] Ohio grocer inducted into the Grocers Hall of Fame... Grocers Hall of Fame? (33)
[Canoe] [Amusing] Man bitches that newspaper didn't run non-shovelling granny story. Exclaims "C'mon. Even Fark.com had it. It does not get any bigger than that." (61)
[Canada.com] [Misc] "She told me the chapter on the penis was too long and too hard" (46)
(Ragazze) [Boobies] Sabrina Ferilli (not safe for work) (49)
(Inquirer) [Interesting] Internet and technology world summit ID badges were bugged (46)
(Some Guy) [Boobies] The Hegre twins with spider web hose on. Still Spider free, still Not safe for work (128)
[AP] [Obvious] In Haiti, where pleasures are scarce, U.S.-funded abstinence campaign not very popular (78)
[BBC] [Spiffy] Couple returns from meal celebrating their 32nd wedding anniversary to find they won £2.3 million Lotto jackpot (36)
(Some Guy) [Dumbass] Bank robber appeals his conviction by arguing the stupidity of his crime proved he was too drunk to be responsible. Court points out that millions of people get drunk everyday without robbing banks (18)
(Some Guy) [Boobies] Brigitta Callens. Safe for Spiders. Not Safe For Work (51)
[BrokenNewz] [Satire] Saddam captured while playing Santa In Montana mall (48)
[AP] [News] Former Sen. Roth died today, will be remembered by investors forever (43)
(Some Guy) [Dumbass] Man repeatedly dials 911 and demands that police arrest his house cat. Police arrive, but it wasn't the cat that got arrested (27)
[Sunspot] [Ironic] Did a mosquito bite defeat Alexander? Is he the most famous victim of West Nile Virus? Here comes the science and speculative history (48)
(This is not true.) [Caption] Caption the Iraqi Information Minister commenting on todays news (130)
[News.com.au] [Strange] When trains run themselves (23)
[WFTV] [Florida] Man making moonshine for Christmas arrested after burning entire garage to the ground (44)
(Denver Post) [Hero] Modern Drunkard stands up for right to be falling-down drunk (47)
[Guardian.com] [Scary] Hospital superbug now carried by pets. Your dog wants to give you leprosy (23)
[Washington Post] [Asinine] Canada to charge music royalties on MP3 players (96)
[AP] [Strange] Garbage disposal starts spewing money: All your yen are belong to us (16)
[SFGate] [Photoshop] Man on fishcycle attacked by giant spider (114)
(TTR2) [Boobies] Danish blonde delight - Tanja Dexters (not safe for work). This link has been certified 100% spider-hole free (73)
(Middletown Press) [Strange] Fund seeks to help town with beaver problem (16)
[Reuters] [NewsFlash] Saddam Hussein captured by U.S. forces in Tikrit. DNA testing confirms identity. You submitted this with a funnier headline (∞)
(Some Guy) [AudioEdit] AudioEdit: Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer (link goes to everything you need) (41)
(The News Herald) [Interesting] Blind hunter shoots second deer. Also, this is the thread that farkers chose to begin commenting on Saddam's capture (while the admins were sleeping). The thread is closed, but you can still see what farkers had to say (too many)
(Mel Sharples) [Photoshop] Scavenger hunt. Create a photoshop utilizing images of Norman Fell, a snow monkey, a unicycle, a compound fracture and the interior of Disneyland's Club 33. Link goes to Vic Tayback (57)
(24mainstreet.com) [Boobies] These sexy ladies are not safe for work (68)
(Knoxville News Sentinel) [Weird] Woman eats junk food in her sleep. Obesity ensues (50)
To read articles, click the icon left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.
Sat December 13, 2003: SUBMIT A LINK # of Comments
(The Clarion Ledger) [Dumbass] Couple pulls off eloborate prison escape, driving cross country with dyed hair, stolen license plates and make it to California. Check into motel using real name (58)
[The Scotsman] [Interesting] Magic mushrooms legally on sale in Scotland. Damned hippies (105)
(Some Guy) [Weird] 10-year-old girl lands top soccer job (32)
(Arizona Daily Sun) [Dumbass] Stoned slugger sans sense summons security, soon sent stirward (35)
(Car Domain) [Silly] Man solves problem of how to put 14-inch rims on a lawnmower (50)
(The Post) [Asinine] Dad who smoked pot with his four- and six-year-old kids might not get Father of the Year award after all (114)
(Sun Herald) [Asinine] Outfitting your kitchen for about $30k or so (89)
(Daily Interlake) [Photoshop] Photoshop this wasp on a rose (thanks to TotalFarker Halah for re-hosting the original) (116)
[BBC] [Cool] Tibetan chant CD's Grammy hope (37)
[Arizona Star] [Ironic] A Kodak Moment of the worst sort (117)
(Denver Post) [Dumbass] Police apprehend dumbest criminal ever. Left his cell phone at one robbery, driver’s license at another. No, it’s not the first time he’s left personal information at the scene (33)
(Richmond Times-Dispatch) [Dumbass] Government credit cards used for lingerie and cremation, hopefully not at same time. Burn, baby, burn (28)
[CNN] [Obvious] Bush declares smackdown on Syria (425)
(Daytona Beach News) [Florida] Teen tries to stop repossession by stealing car back. Hey, she's just a teen, give her an A for effort (55)
[AZCentral] [Strange] Poor, sad, crippled frogs (49)
[Local6] [Florida] Pack of seven pit bulls maul elderly woman to death (151)
(redding.com) [Spiffy] Michigan State and Kentucky go for basketball attendance record inside Ford Field (37)
[Sunspot] [Spiffy] These dolls can smoke, juggle, play the mandolin and perform magic tricks. And, being of 19th-century French vintage, they often do it all with a well-groomed dog in tow, along with a cigarette and a stuck-up attitude (35)
[CBS News] [Strange] Who actually invented the EZE Bloodless Castrator? A jury had to decide (36)
(Roanoke.com) [Dumbass] Man swears he didn't know that giving Valium with wine chaser to woman would kill her (33)
(StamfordAdvocate.com) [Amusing] Police finally catch the Band-Aid Bandit. Nelly clear from all suspicion (13)
(Grand Forks Herald) [Hero] One fourth of all Roman Catholic priests want celibacy to be optional (136)
(Bristol Herald-Courier) [Dumbass] Feds raid Business of the Year for illegal guns -- LOTS of illegal guns (55)
(Some Guy) [Cool] Remember Dark Tower, the 1980s board game? Here it is in Flash (114)
(MySA) [Interesting] The star of Bethlehem: Here comes the science (41)
(ThisIsLancashire) [Strange] Clergy angry at "fancy dress" baby Jesus, must never have seen Buddy Christ (20)
[Houston Chronicle] [Strange] "My grandmother," Grazer says, delighted both by the absurdity and the point it helps him make, "turned me on to Deep Throat" (50)
[Houston Chronicle] [Silly] Elementary school teacher breaks state law by building gingerbread house (43)
(Hindustan Times) [Interesting] Scientists track changes in rainfall patterns caused by urban sprawl (20)
[Ben Maller] [Interesting] Streetsweeper finds a Detroit Lions players paycheck in parking lot (34)
[Bangor Daily News] [Hero] Shoe manufacturer gives $1,000 for each year the employee has worked there as Christmas bonus (122)
[SeattlePI] [Photoshop] Photoshop Taiwan President Chen Shui-bian tasting a grapefruit (100)
[smh.com.au] [Weird] Abusive ghost haunts and taunts elderly woman (29)
(Pioneer Press) [Strange] The life of a sugar-beet truck driver (31)
(post-gazette.com) [Interesting] Lucid dreamers claim to learn skills while asleep; proclaimed experts at Britney-sex in the rise (142)
[Washington Post] [Interesting] Old woman claims she is Strom Thurmond's illegitimate, mixed-race child. Press conference-ilarity to ensue Wednesday (109)
(Limerick Leader) [Interesting] Limerick woman becomes second bangharda in town's history. Not clear on what that means, but it apparently has Limerick townspeople excited (42)
(KTUL) [Weird] Police recover stolen meat during a traffic stop (16)
(AL.com) [Obvious] Judge bars anyone with a cold, cough or flu-like symptoms (as well as children) from her courtroom. Cold and flu medicines surrender (28)
(chichestertoday.co.uk) [Silly] Was it a ghost... or just something in the beer? With convincing photo (41)
[DFW] [Hero] After you've searched for vampire bats and fought komodo dragons, finding a cure for Ebola is a snap (51)
(Some Guy) [Interesting] "The dog wash. Talkin 'bout the dog wash, yeah" (30)
[smh.com.au] [Spiffy] New low-cost airline will offer in-flight karaoke, dance competitions, a library of 300 DVDs and a pub. That is one pub you do not want to get bounced out of (31)
[ICNetwork] [Spiffy] Huddersfield Farkers -- purchase and start the first Fark pub for only £1 (11)
(www.boston.com) [Strange] "Pssst, hey buddy... wanna buy a cow?" (24)
(madison.com) [Amusing] Ugly-ass baby tapir born (pic) (44)
[Canada.com] [Dumbass] Former F1 racer caught speeding on scooter. Loses case, respect (37)
[Globe and Mail] [Sad] Keiko the Whale dies. Freedom is served (94)
(Some Farker) [AudioEdit] AudioEdit a Fark.com theme song (link goes directly to example) (36)
[Reuters] [Silly] "You come on my show!" "No you come on mine!" "No my show is better!" "No, you're a fat cow!" (59)
[The Sun] [Strange] Man saved from drowning by his false leg (21)
(Some Guy) [Obvious] ADHD is a myth. Parents lose best reason to not deal with their kids (486)
(Some Guy) [Photoshop] Photoshop the best way to display Christmas lights. Link goes to GIS (87)
[InfoWorld] [Spiffy] New cell-phone chip to run 10 percent faster and consume 50 percent less power. Expect an unlimited monthly fee (49)
(KITV) [PSA] Wal-Mart recalls candle-gift collection covered with flammable paint (63)
To read articles, click the icon left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.
Fri December 12, 2003: SUBMIT A LINK # of Comments
[ESPN] [Stupid] 1. Send Antoine Walker to a much better team. 2. ??? 3. Ruin his career (70)
(The Omaha Channel) [Dumbass] Police officer fired for taking $111 from man he arrested for shoplifting (38)
[Pravda] [Interesting] Is Mars mission healthy? (57)
[Corporate Mofo] [Survey] How has money (or the lack of money) ruined your relationship? Share your most wallet-and-heart-wrenching story. Voting enabled (173)
[AZCentral] [Scary] Jobless artist sells snowballs for $1 during blizzard. And succeeds (64)
[Pravda] [Strange] Chilean alien twin (35)
(Dr Menlo) [Boobies] Boobies to brighten up your day (not safe for work) (96)
(itv.com) [Amusing] Not content with his pilot license, Travolta ponders offer to get his shuttle license (59)
(Some Guy) [Photoshop] Farker shanrick is fed up with religious solicitors knocking on his door. Create a sign for the front door. Link goes to nutbar (132)
(theage.com.au) [Amusing] Interview with a topless barmaid (44)
(sharky) [Strange] Shark bite bids begin at $350 (24)
(FOX23news) [Amusing] Police say man who grabbed bottle of rum and ran from liquor store apparently never saw the pole (24)
[CNN] [Followup] U.S. officer fined for harsh interrogation tactics (111)
[Abc.net.au] [Amusing] "Master and Commander," featuring Russel Crowe, is knocking out audiences, literally (52)
[The Register] [Scary] Half of Americans may have a brain infection that slows their responses and makes them take risks (57)
[Toronto Star] [Cool] Paul Martin sworn in as Canada's first English-speaking PM in 10 years (159)
[Homestar Runner] [Amusing] New Homestar Runner main page (65)
[MSNBC] [Strange] Microsoft products now swastika free (82)
[The Register] [Interesting] Hitachi will offer methanol fuel cells for their PDAs in 2005 (48)
[BBC] [Interesting] Home-built, single-engine airplane pilot stranded in Antarctica being refused help by U.S., N.Z. bases there, because they don't want to encourage other dumbasses (91)
[Straits Times] [Strange] Government cracking down on rogue monks who build Buddha statues without permission (25)
[C|Net] [Hero] P2P declared legal in Canada (160)
[FARK] [PSA] Sacramento Fark / SportsByBrooks / RetroCrush party tonight, 7pm - 11pm PST (36)
(KSL TV) [Amusing] Is there anything that cheese can't do? (57)
(News Hax) [Satire] Las Vegas releases odds for Mars probe trifecta-of-failure (19)
(Some Guy) [Spiffy] How to make an elephant out of meat. Cocktail weenies everywhere surrender (41)
(Scientific American) [Interesting] Sand dunes can pass right through each other while maintaining their size and shape (72)
[BBC] [Cool] Scientists have decoded genome of bacterium which could clear up radioactive waste and possibly even generate electricity (57)
[Sunspot] [Asinine] Grocery store owner evicts youth counseling/rec center. Should also buy stock in glass-replacement company (22)
[New Scientist] [Interesting] If you shoot your TV remote, is it destroyed before it transmits (61)
[CNN] [Stupid] OPEC wants us to keep paying them if Kyoto causes us to shift to less-terrorism-supporting energy means (153)
[AP] [Interesting] Man found shot to death on 'X' marking JFK assassination site (76)
[Yahoo] [Unlikely] Bush expects Halliburton to pay back money it overcharged the government. Cheney adds: nudge nudge, wink wink (300)
[BBC] [Spiffy] Italians to turn off their TVs en masse this weekend to protest crappy programming. Establishments offering discounts to those bringing in their TV remotes (73)
[Yahoo] [Asinine] Award-winning British film producer fined for trying to smuggle 217 frogs, lizards and snakes out of Australia (36)
(Des Moines Register) [Strange] Judge grants divorce to lesbian couple; forgets that they weren't technically allowed to get married on the first place (137)
(Hoosier Gazette) [Weird] Convicted BBQ strip club owner breaking charitable fund raising records (42)
[Discovery] [Interesting] Taxi driver unzips his pants and finds a mummified homeless man (54)
[Newsday] [Dumbass] High school students caught trying to buy cafeteria food with fake $20s printed on construction paper (83)
[BBC] [Interesting] Whale nursery discovered in Chile. Texans challenge them to cook-off (33)
[Yahoo] [Asinine] Michigan Automotive plant hands out $15 Christmas bonus to hourly employees, then declares it taxable gift (139)
[Canoe] [Interesting] Judge orders man blinded for acid attack. Punishment to take place at public sports stadium (176)
[Google] [Photoshop] Theme: Yu-Gi-Oh cards that should never exist (136)
[NCBuy] [Obvious] Today is the 471st anniversary of "Our Lady of Guadalupe" Christian miracle. Rut-ro, here comes the science (166)
(twincities.com) [Strange] Working replica of 1903 Wright brothers' Flyer nearly impossible (64)
[DenverChannel] [Interesting] Over-achieving whale beaches itself over 1000 miles inland (77)
[Reuters] [Stupid] Spam company argues that their Windows Messenger pop-up ads "in the long run [it] will do you good." (122)
[The Sun] [Silly] Even Jesus wants to look like David Beckham (92)
[Retrocrush] [Boobies] Celebrate her 33rd birthday with this hot Jennifer Connelly gallery (safe for work) (151)
(The Post) [Dumbass] Dear drunk drivers: The police will not be looking for you until December 19. Swerve accordingly. Sincerely, the Governor (41)
[Guardian.com] [Cool] How did Tolkien come up with the languages for Middle Earth? (207)
(Some Guy) [Cool]