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Google Fark To read articles, click the icon left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants. Sun December 23, 2001: # of Comments (ehowa) Ernie lists some of the many servicemen who were able to get plane tickets home as a result of his fundraising (42) (Jesus) I Hate Having My Birthday On Christmas by Jesus (106) Get your own Cray Supercomputer (32) High school students would rather go to McDonald's than eat school food (30) Guy from New Jersey becomes a cyborg (28) Strippers sue for right to take off G-string. (48) (Some Guy) Carpal tunnel syndrome not setting in fast enough? Try this game. (24) (2600) Court has ruled that you can link to corporate websites without permission. (10) New York's Giuliani Named Time's Person of the Year (135) (The Rag) Vegetarian Restaurant Names (44) (Some Guy) Elf tossing and other reindeer games (17) (Some Guy) Atomic clock wrong according to Microsoft. (40) (Orisinal.com) Even cuter than that chicken wing game (57) (Some Guy) UCLA computers seized in U.S. Customs piracy investigation (77) (Some Guy) RPG of a mid 30's arkansas redneck (44) Fellowship of the Ring hits #1 on IMDb's Top 250 (75) (Vladivostok News) Greenies rejoice: Volcanic power plant online in Kamchatka (Russia) (32) Japanese Coast Guard involved in shootout on the Hgih Seas (29) (newsobserver.com) Harry Potter 2 stills stolen. (17) (Some Guy) WTF! Corey Feldman is still alive? (35) (Cosmiverse.com) Strange Beasts Sighted in Australia. (31) Sat December 22, 2001: # of Comments Over 60,000 adults in Hong Kong wet their beds (59) (Greta Garbage) Who's hung in hollywood? (156) Flight forced to land; explosive shoes suspected. Passengers and crew beat holy hell out of terrorist (∞) (Some Farkette) Farkette Mtrxhzu loses her mind and recaps/reviews The Matrix Revisited (23) (seattletimes.com) Teen runs down purse-snatcher only to have $600 in gifts stolen from him (48) 60,000 Germans trapped in massive traffic jam, forced to sleep in cars (25) State trooper makes biggest cocaine bust ever in Massachusetts after lost trucker accidentally backs into his car (20) Two-year-old rescued after getting head stuck in bongo drum (24) Bush predicts 2002 will be 'war year' (39) (Some Guy) The frightening world of Japanese snacks (35) Federal funds to Sept. 11 victim's families frustrate Oklahoma City survivors (36) (Some Guy) Bi-Daily Boobies - Today's Feature: "Ready to Wear" Fashion (NSFW) (18) (Some Guy) Photoshop Nixon in his early days of campaigning. (157) Bored in bank lines? Tackle bank-robbers for fun and free press (7) Regular shmoes, on trading cards? (31) Idiots sue school system to force daily Pledge Of Allegiance (155) (HoosierTimes.com) Trucker spills the beans.. 2,000 cans worth (19) NY Supreme Court extends 1st Amendment rights to Internet - U.S. Media ignores it (27) 2001 Weird Science Awards (25) Bachelor Tips: Grocery management (31) The average Christmas bonus for Australian business men is a massage, sex, and a complimentary drink. (60) (Some Guy) Alka Seltzer introduces "morning relief" to cure hangovers from long nights of boozing (69) Fri December 21, 2001: # of Comments (Some Guy) Stupid Smokey the Bear 'rap' video (30) (Some Guy) Since January 2000 aliens have not taken any abductees while they were wearing thought screen helmets (34) (Some Guy) Fb- is the guy in the middle (162) (QCTimes) WUI plays six home games with word Illinois misspelled before someone notices (32) Running a distributed computing program on your work PC? You could get up to 120 years in the slammer. (62) Military to resume testing of Osprey (61) Randy Moss fined $10,000 for taunting again. At least he works hard at that. (40) Gates Announces Security Death Squads (31) (Post Gazette) Charges dismissed against video lady (14) (Time) Time's Best-Worst list 2001 (51) Fun for all: Geraldo on his hands and knees in Afghanistan (139) (NY Daily News) Santa gives out $100 bills to New Yorkers. Liquor stores open late (27) America's 10 safest cities: Detroit named most dangerous three years running (185) (ShreveportTimes) Man attacks Christmas Tree (50) (Shepard) police threaten to shoot a man who wanted to commit suicide (38) US Government didn't do a very thorough job translating Bin Laden tape (181) (NBC 6.com) Cemetary tosses bodies in woods to make more room, includes video (123) MusicNet and Pressplay dissappointed that they suck so badly so soon (59) 5 foot inflatable snowman center of small town controversy (29) (Daily Record) Cheapskate farmer holds world record for sending same card to same person for 50 yrs (24) Study shows fruitcake is still intact after being dropped from building and shot with submachine gun fire (31) (rmoose) Farker who rescued dog in Oklahoma decides to keep him. (69) (hell.com) Sold your soul? Buy it back from Hell.com (44) Photoshop: Kobe Bryant jumps over the first row of fans (108) (homestarrunner) Homestar's New Christmas Toon (17) (StarTribune.com) 23 ft Squid? mmm...Squid..... (66) A small hockey game breaks out at Kings / Senators fight (54) Pizza is good for your ass (33) Red Sox purchased for $700 million. (35) (Weekly World News) Inventor of "Will work for food" sign interviewed (23) Debate brewing over safety of 'energy drinks' (54) (The Other Paper) Columbus, Ohio residents welcome Starbucks with gunfire & spraypaint (83) (usenet) Terminally Ill teenager's last wish; wants to have sex with a real girly. (218) Cap does Lord of the Rings. You know the drill (143) In survey; most Americans want Iraq to be next target (94) Teacher ducttapes two students to chairs (101) (Some Guy) Underwear donated to charities, Walken 'roos not among them (9) Ball lightning baffles science. Millions invested in static-free underwear. (25) (Leela zone) Futurama fan fiction, so many losers, so little time. (28) (FrontPageMag.com) Columnist uses simple things like fact, hind sight and common sense to rip Chomsky a new one (¾) (www.gamegrene.com) Farker Aeonite's review of Lord of the Rings (203) Thu December 20, 2001: # of Comments Russia claims the Salvation Army are a "paramilitary organisation" and kicks them out. (BBC now trolling old Pravda for news) (52) (Some Guy) Adcritic flatlined (27) (Pitch) Beautiful Boobies Bounce for Bountiful Benefits (19) Tiger Woods, wins only Masters tournament, stinks in all others entered yet still wins PGA golfer of the year (43) (Some Penguin) Bloom County movie a possibility. (67) US invades the Comoro Islands in the continued war on terror, where ever the fark that is (83) (Amazon) Fark Holiday Gift Guide: How to look pretty, sexy, natural & awesome (26) (Prizner) Kate Moss boobies. Beware popups (NSFW) (92) Yasir Arafat is missing, not the human Arafat, but his wax figure (26) (Netphreak) CAPalert reviews The Bible (27) eBay: Kick ass 'Lord of the Rings' stuff from New Line Cinema (31) (via morons.org) UIUC offering a two-day workshop on collecting boar semen, complete with "interactive exercises" (20) (SciFi.com) Things aren't totally farked up. LOTR cops four Golden Globe nominations. (33) (Some Guy) Retro-gaming gone horribly awry-- JoustPong (33) (My CF Now) Rev. Jackson jumps on Notre Dame for not considering more minorities (41) (Some Guy) Windows XP glitches allow hackers to seize total control. MS billed this as their most secure OS ever. (214) GTA3 - Car Jacking Game, revive yourself by sleeping with prostitutes (159) (Some Guy) Firm awaiting FDA approval for human-implant chips (72) Pamela Anderson not afraid of dishing up dirt about Tommy Lee during divorce proceedings (67) (StarTribune.com) Virgin Mary sold for drug money (47) Hollywood Foreign Press on crack: Legally Blonde nominated for Golden Globes (50) United sued for WTC hijacking.... Let the feeding frenzy begin. (232) (Daily News Leader) Man charged with stabbing self and stealing own money (29) (dr. vile) Photoshop Farker with wife and new baby (182) Walken Underwear Available on Ebay (39) (Some Guy) Christmas: A Marketing Team Explains (15) (TPC) Overdue videos land woman in jail for week, rewind status uncertain (31) Guy marries barbie doll that houses his wife's spirit... (39) (The Scotsman) Truckload of whisky hijacked...where's the party? (123) Smoking Gun's Document of the year Awards! (26) (IndyStar.com) Whooping crane project looses another one. (35) (charlotte.com) Meteors contain sugar. Kellogs rushes to create new cereal (34) US Army order: no flying Santas, Easter Bunnies, or Witches (19) (Irish Independent) SpecSavers wants to sponsor UK soccer referees (9) (Some Guy) Fat guy at an outdoor concert (225) (ehowa.com) The tear jerking close to EHOWA's Bring Em Home project (site not safe for work) (25) (Ksdk.com) Baby born twice, sues to recieve double gifts every birthday (27) Are you a terrorist and out of good ideas? The American media can help! (43) CNN reporter says "amazing" ten times in one interview. (38) Trailer for "The Scorpion King" is now up. Try to contain yourselves. (60) Hollywood still out of ideas: live action Curious George movie in the works (17) (Alxnet.com) Still interested in a subscription to see all submitted Fark articles? (181) Oliver Stone's Reagan movie has little basis in reality, like his Nixon and JFK movies (62) Washington (NBA) now a .500 team. Redskins fans say, "didn't this happen in football already?" (13) Kofi Annan hugs Iraqi terrorists, tries to warn US against attacking Saddam (lots) (Some Guy) Trade Center fires finally put out (27) (Newsday.com) OddTodd is making mainstream press now (13) (Oregon Live) Oregon residents finding creative ways around smoking ban (63) (Dark Horizons) Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter (The Movie) (46) (Some Guy) The Taliban and Al-Queda's Top 10 excuses for being defeated in Afghanistan (30) How to kill Pop-Ups ads (71) Scientist invents table that switches chairs in order to avoid boring dinner converstation (52) Wed December 19, 2001: # of Comments Photoshop these Argentine looters (112) Get your pigskin picks in on time. Early Saturday morning games this week. (23) (Some Gal) Real life Mother-in-law from hell stories (67) (Honolulu Advertiser) Hawaii: Where else can you bodyboard from snow into lava? (55) Argentine farkers (the popcap guys) living through riots (28) (Some Guy) Uri Geller's psychic powers end team's losing streak (13) (mycfnow.com) Music Industry Launches Napster-Like Service (105) (channelcincinnati.com) Woman paints horse red, white, blue. Only in Kentucky (23) World's funniest joke (474) Santa gets tired of handing out candy, shoots woman in face (45) (rmoose) Farker in Oklahoma rescues abandoned & beaten dog -- needs a home for the dog (69) (KNAC) Kid Rock performs concert alongside Hank Williams Jr (53) (NPR) NPR segment about Melvin Burkhart. Listen only if you want to hear the sound of him hammering a nail into his head. (8) Train passengers rescued after being stuck in 7 feet of snow; rescue train then derails (35) Tyson Foods indicted for smuggling aliens (37) Those wacky Thai's want to turn mine-fields into golf courses, gives whole new meaning to hole-in-one (17) Giant crickets engorged with eggs still taste better than Big Mac's say Cambodians (24) France calls Israel "that shitty little country", promptly surrenders (77) (Some Guy) Ernie raised $13,247 and bought plane tickets for 23 troops! (site not safe for work) (34) Study confirms what we all know: Fruitcakes are best left in the garbage (24) Salsa world in uproar over Marc Antony taking credit for songs he didn't write (lots) Satan promotes the Euro (204) Charlotte airport discovers scanners work best when plugged in - 6,000 passengers rescreened (53) Saudi princess arrested in Orlando for beating her maid (104) State accused of losing mans internal organs (26) Man inadvertantly eats engagement ring hidden in his porridge. Now just sitting around waiting for something to turn up (33) Santa Claus busts moonshiners (24) Santa falls foul of anti-terrorism laws (46) (Syndney Morning Herald) Melvin Burkhart, the Human Blockhead dies at 94 (33) (Arabnews.com) Just in time for the holidays: 81! (47) (Some Guy) Eazy E catching up wtih 2Pac for most posthumous releases with latest DVD release (73) New Orleans Saints trying hard to be the Cleveland Browns of the bayou (28) (Scotsman) Two Egyptian mummies found in McDonalds, probably standing in line (30) An American populist: Pravda.ru interviews Patrick Buchanan (31) New movie fare to spice up train commutes: Animal slaughtering (26) (StarTelegram) Texas Rangers aquire John Rocker and Carl Everett, making them the most quotable team in baseball (33) (StarTelegram) High school student stabs kid who wouldn't let him sleep in class (49) Gesture suggestively at a Detroit cop and get arrested for "being an annoying person" (34) (Some Guy) Afghani with friend in wheelbarrow (141) Duke beats Kentucky 95-92 through sheer luck. Duke still sucks (51) (Priceless420) Priceless420.com. Not safe for work (68) Officials back low-yield nuclear strike (lots) Ex-baseball player runs around Times Square in thong to uphold bet made on national radio show (27) The Green / Barrymore divorce papers (58) SatireWire's 2001 holiday cards (29) Man bitten by pet cobra while picking mites off the damned thing (40) Tue December 18, 2001: # of Comments So long suckers - why we ruled fark for a day (149) Mutual fund porn - better learning through explicit text (45) They should tap into the Fark boards, lots of chicken poo there (42) (Some Guy) A very annoying car dealership page (41) Late flight costs woman $1 million (20) (Oregon Live) Teen loses appeal to have senior picture taken with pet rat (25) Woman committs suicide by going headfirst into wood chipper (93) Alcohol is good for the brain (25) (webreference.com) The making of MaxFunds.com (92) Molly from Texas! Come on down! (143) Yo Yo Yo! One hour until 21" monitor giveaway! Enter now! (199) (Some Guy) Man found with .532 blood alcohol level. France surrenders (90) ((News-Record) Self-proclaimed "Toughest Sheriff In America" watches helplessly as his top vice officers are arrested for drug trafficking. (41) (PlanetCGI.com) I won a link for putting Fundomatic on a roll of toilet paper...and here it is. (44) Instant classic? Why movie critics may be touting "Lord of the Rings" as the next messiah of movies (61) (AdCritic) AdCritic is offline until further notice....bummer (38) (MaxFunds.com) Jonas "Fundomatic" Ferris live on Fox News this Saturday! (70) Grant Hill to make millions sitting on the bench in street clothes all year (13) 2 out of 3 Democrats won't support Gore in 2004 (88) Alberta Premier to quit drinking, cries like a little girl (23) (Some Guy) Car and Driver's 20th annual 10 best cars list. Sweeet. (47) (Some Cletus) Photoshop Farker Disasterbator (121) (Some Guy) 10 year study proves Pot doesn't lead to hard drugs. (It took them 10 years to figure that out?!?) (69) (DDN) Drunk rapist sleeps through attack while husband robo-maxes (33) Lord of the Rings movie already being called cinematic masterpiece (53) (some mud addict) An AWESOME mud, but horribly overlooked. What's a mud? (85) (Slashdot) Universal plans to copy-protect all of its CD's rendering them useless in computers and DVD players. (99) (NewsGeek.net) Tony Ray from Punkbuster says Punkbuster will live on (16) (Some Guy) Photoshop Farker Rabbito (104) (Some Guy) The Best Poster, Ever! (41) (Some Guy) Make and record your own Bruce Lee kung fu fight soundtrack (31) (CBS News) Check on airport screeners finds one asleep, another stealing from an old lady (37) (non profit) Buying stocks is patriotic. So is being stupid. (43) Janus funds suck. You know you own one in your 401K - don't lie (103) (Some Guy) Hovering snack bar to service skyscrapers...oh, and save people during fires (54) (Nerve) Arty boobies too highbrow for Fark’s smut-surfing geeks (not safe for work) (90) Kournikova actually wins a match. Capriati admits, "She's much hotter than me." (84) (Some Guy) Afghans return to national pastime of playing with a dead goat (42) Ali busts some off-color humor. Crowd goes wild, wife dismayed. (124) Federal judge orders new sentencing for Abu-Jamal (81) Python alum worries about War on Grammar (109) ((Sydney Morning Herald)) Cat was where it was at but now prays on his mat. (34) (cosmiverse) Man claims he had patented a "Segway" style scooter in 1996 (41) What you say about Jesus? (149) US Special Forces exchange fire with wackos in Yemen (58) (NASA) Nasa places a second huge disco ball in space (64) (RochesterNews.com) Idiot woman with fake grenade escapes punishment (41) John Rocker to become teammate of Carl Everett. Discuss. (64) Geraldo is a lying bastard (114) Sex Pistols to reunite for Queen's 50th. (155) (vancouver sun) Researchers create artificial supernova (90) Five alarm fire at St. Johns Cathedral, part of roof has caved in (234) (The Mirror) Retrial ordered for court case because judge fell asleep twice (56) Fans of lord of the rings complaining over changes reads like Onion article (113) (Some Guy) Fundomatic, ruler of Fark, too cool for this school in LA - for the love of god, photoshop this jerk (151) (Some Guy) Several rebuttals to the flawed theory that Santa doesn't exist (38) (Some Guy) Gabey link #2 <-- (See tag) (131) Director compares Eminem's acting ability to Marlon Brado and Montgomery Clift (73) (Gabey) Gabey link #1: Cute, Canadian singer/songwriter -- don't hold the Canadian thing against her (54) 1 day Fark only contest - win a 21" sony monitor (150) (Corporate Mofo) The Corporate Mofo Guide to the Company Holiday Party. Actual booze not included.. (23) Dershowitz says tape doesn't prove bin Laden's guilt. (442) (Rolling Stone) Lead singer/guitarist of Big Country found dead in Hawaii on a mountainside. Say goodbye. (86) (Some Guy) Police find 67 dead cats in fridge of Wil Wheaton fan (120) MAXfunds rules Fark for a day, Gabey wins 3 links (94) Mon December 17, 2001: # of Comments Figure out who Rules Fark by midnight and Drew wins $100 (404) NBC wants to show you Playmate boobies during the Super Bowl (60) (Click2Houston.com) Drew Barrymore and Tom Greene divorcing (134) Beyond Tofurkey.... Be afraid. Be very afraid. (91) (Daze Reader) Official Scrabble site edits word "fuck" from championship game transcript (45) (This is London) Captured al-Qaeda fighters cry like little girls (104) Teen gets 8 years for guns in school (57) (Telegraph) France's military is so weak the country could hardly defend itself if attacked. (164) Duke unanimous #1 for 3rd straight week; still suck (82) (Some Guy) Plastic back up. Peachtree schnapps drinking binge over. (24) Red Sox trade for a pitcher only because he can 'beat the Yankees.' Is otherwise below-average pitcher against other teams. (33) (TDC) Montana is finally #1 at something. Unfortunately, it's drunken driving. (43) (EAA.com) FAA grants Santa an actual waver so he can fly over restricted areas (pdf) (65) (F'd Company) One man's Sears credit nightmare (91) Woman steals bag, gets on plane. Accidentally steals fake grenade too, which rolls out into the aisle (44) 88 yr old grandmother in lead in deer hunting contest (71) Mugshot quiz: this couple was arrested becase... (not safe for work) (84) Pregnancy makes dads fat (52) US forces to bomb Afghanistan with 46,000 pounds of cake (298) (Palm Beach Post) Is 'retarded' a dirty word? (156) Need help finding accommodations in New Orleans for Farkfest 2002 (Feb 8th-12th). Contact Drew if you can help (33) For sale: become a Fark Moderator for a month (96) (Something Awful) Happy Scientolidays! (38) (via NewEgg.com) IBM sure knows how to use sexy models to sell products (pic) (52) (TDC) Jesus Christ creditted for burglary arrest (36) Jaguars wait for the call (68) (Columbia Daily Tribune) KC liquor control chief gets DUI ticket (20) Winona Ryder's shoplifting was "research" for a movie role. Too bad this performance ain't believable either (61) Tips for gate crashing Christmas parties (10) (Some Gal) Help fellow Farker track down McDonald's restaurants that serve fried apple pie (75) Car thieves steal car with ugly-ass pig inside (with pics) (19) Unconcious Patriots wide-receiver recovers fumble, saves game (44) (myCFnow.com) Half-court shot nets man $1 million (20) (Some Jihad) Group threatens to remove Fb-'s very existence from the web (186) Sofia Loren? (120) (Irish Examiner) Irish biggest drinkers in the world, says survey (30) (news.com.au) 2nd aussie moron found fighting in Afghanistan (171) Wizards finally winning, on 6-0 run (22) (Corporate Mofo) Corporate Mofo visits this cool bar with these remote cameras and you can look at girls' boobies (19) (Some Guy) Photoshop wreck at Browns stadium (112) (Washington Times) Religious discrimination going on all over the place, small violin plays (236) (Some Guy) Sign the petition for George Lucas to hand control of Episode III over to Peter Jackson. (76) (TijuanaFlats.com) World's 15 hottest Hot Sauces (103) 1 GB drive that'll fit on your key chain (48)

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