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Search Google Search FARK To read an article, click on the small icon to the left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants. April 29, 2001: # of Comments (Some Guy) This aint no damn monkey restaurant (12) (Some Guy) Ten laws of bad science fiction (7) (Some Guy) Bianca's shutting down after seven years (16) Chick Vs. Wife Beaters (24) Death Bed Repentance- A-ok!! (25) (some dude) ALF fan site (21) (Firequest) From the people who brought you the brass-knuckle paperweight comes lots of stuff (4) (Some Guy) Yoda is Satan (these folks aren't kidding) (17) China says U.S. can inspect spy plane (2) (Killfrog) Killfrog.com: Another Flash Site (probably not safe for work) (2) (Some Guy) H0T BSB PIX0RZ!!! C0LL3CT TH3M 4LL!!!!!! (19) (Some Guy) Freakish personals ad has been moved (link was dead) (8) (ClosetElvis) Man gets picked up by Feds after his PC performs an illegal operation. (2) (Some Guy) The online home of Dave Kingman, hitter of 442 home runs and victim of 1816 strikeouts (1) (jsonline.com) Burgler takes money - leaves Bible verse (16) (Some Girl) Guns for kids -parody site causes ire (7) (dark-america.com) Gwen Stefani gallery (pics) (53) (ClassicNintendo) Flash site (16) (Nielsen Media) What TV ratings really mean (11) Cable vs. satellite TV (6) (Some Guy) Genryu's Blade: 6 minute flash movie. (27) Man impersonates Tiger Woods, gets 200-year jail sentence. (12) (Some Guy) America's Apology to the Chinese (10) (Some Guy) Forget Jesus, or even Jeeves...ask the Magic White Castle Slider (4) I love my dragon (10) Al Gore files patent for new voting machine (11) (Something Awful) Dance Dance Karnov game (4) (funkypages.com) Magician picks your card over Internet (21) (phonelosers.org) Red Boxing (Yes, it still does work) (3) The most confusing Chick Tract ever (86) For sale: Bag made out of buffalo bladder (7) (phonelosers.org) Excellent methods of revenge (13) April 28, 2001: # of Comments (Firequest) Exotic 12 Guage Ammo (Check out the rest of the site too) (14) (Some Guy) South Park guitar central (1) (KING5.com) Bill Gates top residential water user in Seattle area last year (4.7 million gallons) (4) (Some Guy) Photo series showing effect of drugs and prostitution (11) First millionaire goes into space (7) (NWCN) Teens not allowed to buy toilet paper (16) (Some Guy) IRC log of guy "hacking" streetlight (27) (Some Guy) Man dies "hacking" streetlight (the background) (22) CIA admits employing Nazis (6) Linux to be released on playstation 2 (7) (Some Guy) Transexual tell-all book outs eddie murphy (4) The dangers of Dungeons & Dragons (repeat) (21) (Shirley Manson) Garbage singer 'rubbishes' Christina Aguilera (Read entry posted Tuesday 17th) (9) (Some Guy) photoshop falls into the hands of the skilled, but unworthy (many curious boobies, not safe for work) (25) (Some Guy) Canadian man protests hole shot in pants at protest (10) (Some Guy) The Tabby Tote feline transportation system (not safe for cat lovers) (15) (Some Guy) How to wipe out an entire phone grid (15) The Hellish Experience Of Visiting Podunk Towns (15) (Some Guy) Sound files of Pacino and Arnold calling Gateway and causing trouble (8) (Some Guy) Tired of your old exlposive rounds? Try Nuke50 (2) (StraightDope.com) Create your own action figure and play with yourself (11) (adflip) Fifties ad for "The Rhythm Way to Family Happiness" (0) (Some Guy) Homemade Jackass stunts that media hasn't found yet. (6) (Some Guy) World Rock-Paper-Scissors Society (2) (Ninja Dispatch) Dispatch Ninjas to smite your enemies (8) (Some Guy) Speed Trap Exchange (repeat) (2) (Some Guy) Simpsons Wrestling - Sneak Peak (6) (Some Guy) Am I naked or not? (17) (Stever!) Huge list of fun telephone numbers to call (8) (Mathemagical Land) math proof that 2=1 (40) (Some Guy) Sticky Baby, for those who like Poke the Bunny (12) (www.maakies.com) Join Drinky Crow & Uncle Gabby in a world of mirth & alcohol (3) (Some Guy(via unknown news)) Woman goes fat for a week - becomes "invisible" (3) (Some Guy) Become mark of the beast compliant! (5) (Some Guy) Old civil defence films (2) (Some Guy) How To Use Escort Services (4) (Some Guy) Home page of the Macon Whoopee hockey team. (1) (morons.org) 19th century text says wanking will kill (8) (Circlemakers) The people who make crop circles (1) April 27, 2001: # of Comments (Some Guy) Hundreds of computer ads from the 60's to the 80's. (0) (Some Guy) Revenge site set up by fired CNN staffers. (Warning: contains link to nude photos of new CNN anchor Andrea Thompson) (2) Jenna Bush cited for alcohol (1) Improper Landscaping Lands Man in Jail (3) (Thestar.com.my) Motorist booked for doing 773kph (that's 463mph). Note motorist's name (65) Photoshop this picture (pic) (57) Make up a caption for this picture (pic) (85) (C-Span) Find your congressman (7) (Some Guy) Royal Bank of Canada sucks. Coolest corp-screwed-me site ever (29) (CBC) Poisonous plant mislabelled as 'tasty in soups' (12) For sale: God Loves You Ziggy Horse Beatin' Tool (10) Josie and the Pussycats is great (11) (Forbes) Sunday Times Wrongly Dethrones Gates - still the richest (2) Madonna's Germany tour sells out in 30 minutes - France surrenders (5) "People should just dress like me," says Jennifer Lopez (18) Man jailed 10 days for wearing obscene T-shirt to court (10) (Guardian ) British moviegoers about to see first ever mainstream onscreen BJ (24) (New Zealand News) Man lit co-worker's grass skirt on fire at company party (28) (Some Guy) Dr. Seuss propaganda (10) Judge bans 'offensive' IRISH number plates (19) Idaho Chamber of Commerce loses domain name to porn site (24) (About.com) Reservoir Dogs action figures (23) (SunSpot) Pentagon proposed making terrorist attacks against Americans, then blaming Cuba (15) (Guardian Unlimited) Cops who laughed and joked while handcuffed man died nearby found guilty of "misconduct" (17) George Bush - the Toxic Texan (7) (Japan Today) Man survives suicide leap from 55th floor (23) (Japan Today) Toilets: where east meets west and confusion reigns (7) (Toronto Star) Bronze penis stolen from art gallery. Owner calls piece "irreplaceable. There was no mold." (11) (Pawtucket Times) Student suspended for raunchy song about teacher he recorded and posted on Napster. (28) Christians claim foot-and-mouth is God's wrath over gays (51) (wkrn) Minister bursts into flames at gas station (18) (Seabrook Station) Rare blue lobster - 1 in 2 million (46) (Some Guy) Full moon influenced U.S. election (5) (National Post Online) Health hazards of taking communion (30) (Some Guy) Homer Simpson Quote Generator (18) (The Bremerton Sun) All keyless remotes in Bremerton, WA have stopped working (58) April 26, 2001: # of Comments Scientists baffled by reappearance of Crocodile Dundee (27) Another killer elephant wanted in South Africa (3) Ireland to host next World Surfing Games? (5) Uri Geller to use Britain's collective psychic power to unstick retractable stadium roof (23) Salon to follow in Yahoo!'s faltering steps by offering porn (11) Amazing true urban legends (14) More people download songs, but are they buying? (4) Anti-smoking drug works by killing you (27) (Straightdope.com) Pearl Harbor: No conspiracy (7) (Webby Awards) Peter Pan guy's page nominated for Webby Award (look at bottom of list under 'Weird') (12) (amazon.com) RedHat Linux reviews (bottom 3 reviews) (2) (http://whatever-dude.com/) Angelina Jolie nude scenes (NOT safe for work) (12) (ESPN) The worst thing about being in the public spotlight (8) (Weekly World News) Apocalypse won't be all that bad says famed theologian (9) (SpaceFlightNow) Paint your house with heat protective coating used on the Space Shuttle (4) (Cincinnati Enquirer) Man complains there aren't enough cops, gets arrested (1) (Some Guy) Killer gameboy emu applet (7) (Channel Cincinatti) Video of teen hitting friend with car (9) (IOL) Police officers in Argentina got breast implants at public expense (8) (Omaha.com) Sen. Bob Kerrey admits having killed civilians in Viet Nam (6) Interview with the creator of the movie: Hyakugojyuuichi (37) Saudi Arabia has no intention of allowing women to drive (27) Microsoft spreads Funlove (3) Monkey Thief! (33) SETI talks about preparing to talk to ETs (24) (Some Guy) Looking at boobies will not make you live longer, bummer (47) (Some Guy) SDMI Research paper that everyone is talking about (18) School kids set up porn site featuring their teachers (22) Females trick males into long-term relationships (31) Organisers of Commonwealth games are making sure athletes don't run out of condoms (5) Photoshop this picture (pic) - difficulty level: easy (101) (NY Daily News) Illegal Ballots In New Square Vote - Clinton supporters didn't live in town (13) (Florida Times-Union) Naked statute terrorizes neighborhood, has penis covered with leopard print loincloth. (32) (Darkpark) Urgent Proposal from Nigeria (actual email received) (25) Chainsaw wielding teen terrorizes commuters (with video) (32) Video of plane crashing w/ 1 wheel, this pilot is a stud (33) French clothing company FCUK flirts with obscenity laws in Britain (35) France's oldest person or Michael Jackson? (64) (Codebloat.com) "Dear Ladies: Why You Should Bang Your IT Guy" (16) (Some Guy) Pearl Harbor: The Mother of all Conspiracies? (13) (Some Guy) Hawaii isn't legally a state (37) (Globe and Mail) New boxing champ Rahman in car accident; last time Baltimore had a sports-related motorcade Ravens bus was broadsided (3) (Detroit Free Press) Teen who was jailed for hacking NASA's computer escapes prison (20) April 25, 2001: # of Comments (Some Guy) Robot Porn (safe for work) (10) (CBC) Canadian 911 operator to distressed caller: deal with your own damn problem. 2 now dead (14) (Some Guy) The Official Page of the Stooges (6) (TechReview) Smuckers sues small businessman for infringing on their patent of the peanut butter and jelly sandwich (27) Miss France rumored to be a man (27) Music group tries to suppress piracy study (6) It's OK to tell a police officer to fark off (in conversation) (13) Eminem upset over gay lookalike porn (14) (Some Guy) The Sheep Cull game (10) (Some Guy) Hillbilly AC/DC tribute band (26) (TV Guide) Amber from Survivor may pose in Playboy (safe for work) (19) (New Republic) Strom Thurmond is losing his mind (17) (St.Paul police dept.) This weeks prostitution arrest photos in St. Paul (38) (Detroit Free Press) Students rally for teacher, takes them to Hooters, teacher gets fired. (27) Internet bank deluged by account holders who make late-night transactions while drunk (5) XFL ratings in freefall. NBC likely to drop remaining games. UPN doesn't want them either. (10) Phil Collins' new baby has his hairline (pic) (23) (Some Guy) New windows commands (6) Dude Where's My Car picks up Breakthrough Male Performance nominiation in MTV Movie Awards (33) (mp3.com) I am Canadian! (audio spoof, might need to register at mp3.com) (5) (Some Guy) Strange Websites Give Backstory to New Movie: "A.I." (8) How the XFL football league became a big flop in TV history (9) The Ethics of Street Preaching (34) Reasons not to laugh at Bill Gates (6) Loincloth painted on nude Jesus (12) FBI crashes parody party. (14) Arabs See Jewish Conspiracy in Pokemon (11) Photoshop this picture (challenge rating high) (55) (charlotte) Man beheads dog - Sentenced to read "Lassie" (51) (JSOnline) Smiley face barn has Amish wishing they could operate demolition machinery (14) (Dallas Morning News) Cow chip throwing champs break two records (2) (News4Jax) School bus driver solicits undercover cop between stops (2) (Miami Herald) Sports announcer plugs X-rated website on arena's loud speaker. (6) (Adbusters) Six mega-corporations and who they own. (14) (via Drudge) Darwin Awards contender: man killed by crane he tried to climb at bachelor party (6) (DallasNews.com) Texas starts work on bill to outlaw arrests for minor offenses hours after Supreme Court ruling that anyone can be arrested for any minor offense (7) (Some Guy) My attempt to obtain an Arizona Concealed Weapon Permit (44) (Canoe) Eminem to pose nude for magazine (12) (Ring Of Fire) Feedback to Darwin Fish creators (Darwin Fish is satire of christian fish car emblems) (35) (Phonelosers) How to take over the PA at Fred Meyer (17) (BMW) UK to vote on which side of road to drive (18) (Swatch) Swatch tries to metricize time with .beats (9) (Carlton.com) Roger Moore -"Cuba Gooding Jr. should be next Bond" (40) April 24, 2001: # of Comments Robert Downey Jr. arrested again (24) Amazon flooding spawns mutant Chia Pet monsters (2) Ben Affleck, big Gore supporter, big get-out-the-vote-guy, is not registered to vote (178) Quadriplegic gets pig cell injection to grow new spine (23) Loch Ness Monster hunter being harassed by local white witch (20) Followup: Blind cod caught over 40 times, killed by kindness (12) (Detroit Free Press) All-woman team trying to reach North Pole starts by going in wrong direction. (25) (IOL) Namibian President: 'Globalism, homosexuality are western plots to undermine my government' (13) (Newsmax) Clinton had a huge porn stash (22) Scientists discover sweet tooth gene (7) Sign of the Apocalypse: Detroit Red Wings eliminated in first round of Stanley Cup playoffs (45) (IOL) "Pornstar" T-Shirts sold to 12-year olds cause controversy (37) (via memepool) OpenCola V 1.0; the world's first open source soda (8) Do you collect weird news for newspaper/magazine columns, radio or TV? You need Fark Subscription Service (60) British man contracts foot-and-mouth disease from exploding cow (18) (Newsday.com) Man losing hair due to gas prices (9) Cisco VP arrested (14) 80% of all Arab-world traffic goes to porn sites (20) 800,000 families no longer millionaires after stock market drop (15) (Star-Tribune) MTV-inspired chain-saw waving man wearing hospital gown arrested (12) Goverment report slams music industry for violence, sex (8) Interactive power map by state (8) Titanium Apple Powerbook shuts airport, mistaken for bomb (13) E-commerce crash beginning to hit porn industry (9) Drug dealer dresses as red pepper claims 'god told me to' (10) Disney sets movie in Norfolk mountains. Norfolk is flat (11) Classic Cap: The Beverly Hillbillies (13) Approximately 90% of all disease and discomfort is related to an unclean colon. (17) (Some Guy) Nike ad department gives culture jammers a taste of their own medicine (22) (Denver Post) Columbine parent sues media for $5 billion (28) (Some Guy) Hot naked Klingons: nude women (and three men) photoshopped into Klingons (not safe for work) (12) (kitv.com) Man dies on flight, food service continues (17) (Newsmax) Bush nixes sex scenes on Air Force One videos (31) (Toronto Star) 65% of all e-transactions fail to reach the "checkout" stage (7) (National Post) Marriage counsellor steals a man's wife. Man now suing. (7) April 23, 2001: # of Comments (rantshack.com) Interactive Giraffe Throwing (16) Make up a caption for this picture (pic) (74) Experts warn of rising dioxin levels from burning cows (10) (CBC News) Canadian walks in space. (38) (newsmax) Earth Day = Blame America Day (27) (Some Guy) Prison bitch name genrator (65) (Detroit Free Press) Cop makes pretty women strip as sobriety test. (17) (amazon.com) Amazon.com customer reviews of the Satanic Bible. No middle ground. (18) Faulty Ignition Saves Man From Car Bomb (8) Photoshop this pic (153) (pbtx) The last century's racial disturbances have a common cause: police brutality (5) (Detroit Free Press) Family of people in plane shot down by Peru.."This was Gods plan". (27) Plans to build 300-story arcology in Shanghai (36) At least 64 Texas High- and Middle-School coaches fired for sexual misconduct, many rehired (13) For sale: my uterus (31) (Some Guy) Network Solutions makes man unwitting child pornographer (7) (dallasnews.com) Death row inmate freaks out on execution gurney (19) Angelina Jolie wears necklace containing husband's blood (27) (Some Guy) Coming to a school library near you: Rusty is a homosexual (17) (The Detroit News) Cub Scouts rig pinewood derby race. Mom wants blood (42) British Flying Saucer Division shuts down due to lack of UFO sightings (3) Nine year old steals bus, drives a mile, crashes (13) Popstars contestant is former porn star (12) King of Swaziland missing (8) Spciy food and sex top pregnant women's cravings (13) (Whatever-dude.com) Kate Winslet nude scenes (Not safe for work) (24) (The Register) Computer fires man (7) (Lucent) Have your computer make offensive comments so you don't have to. (11) (Amazon.com) Customer reviews of Britney and Lynne Spears' book "A Mother's Gift" (15) (Some Guy) "Ask CAP" column (9) (The Straight Dope) What does "the right to bear arms" really mean? (91) (Some Guy) One part Tron, one part OpenGL. Mix well. Serve. (7) (Athens) Michael Stipe protests speed bumps in his neighborhood. Neighborhood begins protesting him. (12) (ClosetElvis.com) New Research Ends "Historical Jesus" Debate: Jesus was a smurf. (12) (via BillyWildhack.com) Electoral college member faces child porn charges (11) (Some Guy) The Database of Abusive Police (14) (Some Guy) Find the G-spot (not safe for work) (17) (Some Guy) World Sexual Records (probably not safe for work) (7) (AirDisaster.com) Everything you ever wanted to know about avionic accidents (6) (Miami Herald) Tiny horses training to be guide animals for the blind (19)