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Search Google Search FARK To read an article, click on the small icon to the left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants. March 25, 2001: # of Comments (Whatever-dude.com) Blue's Clues (10) Twelve actual AP headlines which when followed by 'Doo-Dah, Doo-Dah,' can be sung to the tune of 'Camptown Races' (15) The Self-Made Critic's Guide to the 2001 Oscars (0) U.S. Soldier Shoots Pizza Delivery Men (7) Revenge website posts nude photos of ex-girlfriends (8) Third-grader suspended for drawing soldier, knife (27) Dramatic video of Afghan Buddha statue destruction by dynamite (2) Travolta's "Battlefield Earth" sweeps Razzies (3) (Some Guy) "What the hell is wrong with the Swedes?" Part II, in English (1) (Some Guy) "What the hell is wrong with the Swedes?" Part III (2) (Some Guy) "What the hell is wrong with the Swedes?" Part IV (1) (canoe) Excessive primping may qualify as disability (2) (Some Guy) Mind game (9) (straightdope.com) Just what the hell do hospitals mean by 'serious', 'stable', and 'critical' condition? (0) (japan today) Usen offers 100Mbps connection for consumers @ $40/month (16) (Eilert Pilarm) Swedish Elvis. View the commercial and hear him sing (1) (Some Guy) "What the hell is wrong with the Swedes?" Part V (0) (Some Guy) 11 year old made to stand outside with "I am a thief" sign (8) (accesswaco.com) Frat boys steal sheep,dress it in womens lingerie (3) Chick takes on drug dealers (Agents of Satan) (13) Huey Lewis Sued Over 'Ghostbusters' (10) Chubby Teletubbies to Release Fitness Video (3) (The Daily Bull) Survivor's Michael Skupin accident details revealed (3) (Some Guy) louis farrakhan African name generator (12) (Some Guy) Taleban.com still under Russian Control (4) (Tallahassee Democrat) Counter-Strike cuases the web to crawl. (11) (IGN.com) Best Reason to buy a Playstation 2 (warning: graphic footage) (21) March 24, 2001: # of Comments (Some Girl) When psycho ex-girlfriends attack (22) (Some Guy) Coca-Cola advertisement??? (17) (Some Guy) Air Guitar Lessons, Volume 1 (0) (Some Guy) Human bone jewelry! (6) (Cadaver Inc) Killed someone? you need Cadaver Inc! (7) Sick of Cell Phones in Restaurants or Movies? Block 'em! (6) (Some Guy) Are you a piņojo? (2) (People.com) The anorexic look isn't "in" anymore (6) (Forum) Help West Fargo pick a decent looking logo (3) (Cornell U.) Make up a caption for this (pic) (18) (Some Guy) How to give your computer a face lift (1) (Atom Films) Wheelchair Rebecca--(Not safe for work or kids) (3) (Damn The Man) Saturday morning cartoons are dumb, charmless programs. (3) (bigrockbeer) Grasshopper wheat ale and warthog ale available in Canada (7) (national post) Canada scared of rogue nation ballistic missiles (10) (Nando Times) The Internet over your electric outlet (4) (Nando Times) Colorado averages 2 human cases per year of disease similar to mad cow (0) (Nando Times) It's official, Knight new coach at Texas Tech (1) (snopes) California artist collecting brassieres to make Giant Bra Ball (0) (msn) The downside of being a 34 triple-D (14) (Free Republic) Superman was a communist!! (6) (Some Guy) Wang pulls out (4) (wergg.com) Wergg redesigns, wants feedback (4) (Straightdope.com) Cecil takes on creationist theories (12) Worker drives lawn mower off cliff (2) Bogus auctions of Mir debris hit the net (0) If you can't find a Playstation2, you're not looking very hard (11) Riots, earthquakes, dot-com woes, big business worries; what is happening to Seattle? (10) Man bags round-the-world trip by begging on Internet (9) Man poses as Microsoft (1) Mr. Bean to the rescue. (2) US government seizes Baptist churt (8) Cisco 2650 ... Router? (10) Manly-man Shepherd strides off shuttle, demands burger and beer. (0) Similarities of porno and politics (0) Woman to have baby for two gay men (4) Top German Utility Offers Web Via Power Line (0) Turning Garages Into Breweries (0) Woman a No-Show at Her Own Funeral (1) WWF buys out WCW; ends 20-year rivalry (21) Antipiracy efforts spark battle over computer hardware (3) lung cancer under power lines (1) William Hanna Died (1) Microsoft Digital Certificate Stolen (2) Video games and porn. 'nuff said (0) Video games are going downhill fast (0) Make up a caption for this image (pic) (29) Baaaaaad Sheep Prank (0) Foot-and-mouth disease unable to spread through Outlook Express (0) Government Agricultural Web Site leads to Porn (1) March 23, 2001: # of Comments Looking at trees is good for you (16) Attorney General Blames School Shootings on Video Games (61) MIR update; Close but no taco, gringo (37) Salon.com switches to boobies-based business model (5) Student dies trying to climb higher to win spitting contest (45) Jim Varney estate action to be held Saturday (19) Mark Chmura upset over hot tub ad (8) Another source reports Bart will lose his virginity in "Simpsons" movie (28) Man up on burglary, narcotic charges tries to hide cocaine in courtroom (3) (Some Guy) How to tell if your cow has mad cow disease (10) (Lycos) World's largest dump closes for business (7) (7AM News) The RIAA's Secret Weapon Exposed (38) Man commits suicide due to Mir suspense (5) Chef kills 60 rats a day in restaurant (13) Arkansas wants to ban evolution textbooks. (85) Chick killed comics theater! You bastard! (33) Drunk cam (3) Clam and sausage soup from Disney (7) Childhood games what happened? (9) '300 pints a week' man given warning (8) Web site to sell rights to sensational personal videos of animal attacks, crime, etc (1) Woman sells cheating husband to lover for $516 (9) Monkey phone calls hit the UK (6) (Associated Press) 10 cops busted for stealing and drug trafficking (3) (Star Magazine) Michael Jackson to author book on child rearing (22) (nasa.gov) Mir Reenters (pic) (15) (Some Guy) Ramen Noodle museum (0) (Some Guy On eMoo) UofL Mastercard Parody (13) (Some Guy) Brightest searchlight in the world. Can be seen on Mars (5) (Damn The Man) Ozzfest forces mormons to cancel Heritage Festival (7) (the london times) Robot to counsel families (1) (The Ferret) The Ferret calls for new and more offensive swear words (TMB would approve...) (7) (National Post) Michigan man dead after being hit by Canadian garbage (8) (IOL) Brazilian Lingerie company uses prison, slum to sell its wares (6) (beinggirl.com) Protecting you everday! Super Tampon, Captain Maxi, and Wonder Liner! (12) (MegaStar) Angelina Jolie demands that Lara Croft dolls have bigger boobies (8) (Boston Herald) Hub firefighters wedge new truck under old bridge (2) March 22, 2001: # of Comments Let's Hear It For Scared White Boys: New School Shooting In San Diego (28) (Some Guy) Tunak Arabian Dance machine!! (via BBspot) (7) (TechTV) Rolling blackouts hit Napster co-founder (1) Court rejects school drug testing (7) Crazy German lady thinks she's a vampire (18) LSD and 'shrooms as a cure for the mentally ill (20) Tommy Hilfiger introduces "Greenspan" cologne (4) (Church of Scientology) Take the Scientology personality test (41) (New Scientist) Researchers suggest using napalm to dispose of foot-and-mouth carcasses (13) (Columbus Dispatch) Man changes his name to "Seven" to avoid bad luck (9) Residents of smaller countries hope Mir hits them so they can demand compensation from Russia (11) Macedonians, Albanians at war. France surrenders (7) MC3: MP3 player, digital camera, dental floss dispenser (4) Prof Hildegard Hammerschmidt-Hummel says Shakespeare was a secret Catholic cult member (4) Putin fails to observe traffic laws (1) Everything on Earth declared collectible (18) International fishing boats caught in Mir splashdown zone (2) Mir positioned to take suicide dive Friday Morning (3) Hey, wanna smoke some Muggles? (10) PETA targets McVeigh’s last meal (52) Anthropologists discover second genus of early humans (26) Naked priest, lover spoil funeral (3) (New York Post) Transsexual dancers allege discrimination (9) (Las Vegas Sun) Film censor quits over church interference (1) (Some Guy) New Warning Labels on Canadian Cigarettes (27) (Reading Eagle) Family keeps mule as house pet (1) (The Hill) 98-year-old Senator Thurmond maintains near-perfect voting record (4) (zillmann.org) The horrible effects Mir's landing might have on America (10) (Stileproject) Army of Darkness Soundboard (if your workplace has web filters, this site is in them) (5) (Access Atlanta) Possession of a felt tip marker is a misdemeanor for anyone under 18 (10) Second-graders face charges for paper gun (35) "Sex-Starved Moose Defecates on Car " (18) Kids get a glimpse of teacher's homemade porn tape (11) World's first 'air coaster' does zero to 80 in 2 seconds (13) US Deports 50 commie pies (13) The Self-Made Critic reviews Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon (6) Galileo spacecraft gets final mission (2) Subway diet scandal? (8) Reporter filming bike safety segment gets hit by car (3) (youngie.com) Colloquial english for beginners (And Americans) (11) (Nipguards.com) Nipguards :-Say goodbye to joggers nipple! (12) (Snopes.com) How to be a good wife (9) (Memepool) How to make a rocket out of a matchstick (via Memepool) (7) (Honolulu Star) Grocery clerks had special intercom code to alert all to pretty shoppers (15) (Des Moines Register) Dad hosts son's 15th birthday party with booze and porn. (17) (Palm Beach Post) Brothers lead mission to witness Mir's demise (2) (thestar.com) Mad Magazine ends era by accepting ads (5) (Rutland Herald) Carbonated, flavored milk (drink it with your Burgerpipe!) (18) (Union Leader) Drunk woman steals, crashes police cruiser (5) (philly.com) Teens beat man looking for his daughter at underage drinking party (9) (Some Guy) Which airplane is closer? (13) (Some Guy) Simpsons Movie to feature Bart getting nailed (10) (thoughtpolice.com) 1040 form for laid-off dot.com employees (5) (Some Guy) Girl Scouts shed their "un-Sexy" image with new uniforms (12) (GlobalTV.com) Advertising Via Tattoo: Coming To NBA Biceps (11) March 21, 2001: # of Comments Feds agree - more arsenic in the water (18) (Alaska) Get a free bear safety package (9) (TheSmokingGun) Bride arrested for attacking new husband with wedding cake (actual police report) (14) (Drew) If there's any Farkers in Miami who want to go have a beer, send me an email (39) (IOL) Police ordered to arrest, deport, imprison gays & lesbians (25) The Gay Agenda - Homosexual-rights bill progresses (186) Trailers a hard sell in Russia (7) Destruction of Buddha statues "ended drought" says Taliban (7) Suggested Landings for the Mir Space Station (22) Talking vodka bottle cap says "Pour", emits drunken giggles as evening progresses (6) (Telegraph) Four-year old puts "psychics" to shame (7) (The Stash) Those wacky Japanese, part 4. (Game show MPG) (8) (ElectricRat) Scientists hotwire brains to like the 80's (2) (Thedailycamera) 5 club drugs to know about (17) (Page3) National Cleavage Week bus begins tour in Britain (safe for work?) (4) (The Daily Bull) Son of God misses Millennium, apologizes (4) Poll shows Tetris and Doritos more addictive than crack (10) 11-year old girl proud winner of rotten sneaker contest (2) Germans prepare for Mir landing in Berlin (0) Scientists discover cockroaches don't like rough sex (32) Australian University buries 10.000 books (12) (VillageVoice) Amusing peek at life of an AOL censor (11) (News-Journal Online) One dead, six hurt in fight over missing cell phone (2) (Straight Dope) The truth about the "Rule of Thumb" (6) (telegraph.co.uk) Trout fake orgasms (4) (Boston Channel) Mailman attacked by turkey (5) (Detroit Now) Live mouse found in fried chicken meal (7) (St Petersburg Times) Plant growing near courthouse discovered to be marijuana (2) (www.ninjaburger.com) Ninja Burger wants true news about ninjas and burgers (3) (Some Japanese Toy Company) Toys only the Japanese could come up with (11) (NandoTimes) Restaurants could experience shortage of ribs (2) (HoustonChronicle) Buddhist Ghostbusters call Hong Kong newspaper office (0) (sky.com) Device allows blind people to "see" with tongue (4) (Some Guy) The Transformers parody (a must see) (4) (Some Guy (via StileProject)) Adam Sandler sound board (not safe for work) (9) (Bob Jones U) How to identify a false religion (41) (Some Guy) Native Hawaiian suing the US in World Court for annexing Hawaii illegally back in 1890's. (11) (Some Chick) Playboy magazine has Kansas in uproar (10) (Some Guy) New Linux Advertising Campaign (for Frustrated Geeks) (Not safe for work) (4) March 20, 2001: # of Comments Careful where you sit, or else you'll get an ass full of repressed hate (15) TheSatyr announces end, bids farewell... (17) (Snooze-Kazoo) Bulldozer crushes Wal-Mart like a bulldozer (18) (caller.com) Drug war hits asparagus trade (8) (Space.com) Missing Mars Polar Lander found intact by spy satellite (10) 154 tons of garbage removed from man's home (16) 24 (19) Top 25 stolen vehicles for 2000 (42) (Think Geek) AYB T-Shirts (25) (via RateMyMullet) Fark PHP Newsfeed (4) Gen-u-ine Arkansas dirt (11) San Quintin prison becomes the place to live (11) Comic publishers seek desperately to eek out existence (18) Free Tacos for Everyone in U.S. If Mir Hits Floating Taco Bell Ocean Target (61) Black poetry with X-E (9) Dog farks up Berlin train system (6) Bushonics people strike back (15) Supreme Court Says schools may ban Marilyn Manson T-Shirts (89) Rolling blackouts commence in California (22) (Drudge Report) Hoof and mouth visits central Asia (1) (The Weekly) Why the British should be proud (21) (Bible.com) Duties of a christian wife (29) (Some Guy) U.S.S. Missouri honors Japanese Kamikaze (25) (The National Post) Rise in food poisioning attributed to Tunaburgers (5) (Some Guy) The Slut Test (35) (via Something Awful) What the Fark is wrong with the Japanese. ( A commercial) (24) (Some Guy) What the Fark is wrong with the Japanese Part Two (6) (Philly Daily News) TV news manager claims industry plagued by camera-stealing pornographers (3) (SNPP) The Simpsons encourages obesity, say nutritionists. (12) (Netslaves) 10 reasons why most dot-coms deserve to go under (5) (Mr. Showbiz) Real-life "Jack" sues "Will & Grace" (0) (Canoe) Mixup in horsepower makes new Miata not so "zoom-zoomy" (8) (via Slashdot) US Customs form for Apollo 11 moon rocks (0) (Toronto Star) 95% of diets fail (2) (Some Guy) JesusMuseum: A new wacky Christian site each day, plus huge archive of previous ones. (6) (Heavens-Above) What's up in the sky (includes ISS sighting times and Mir info) (2) (Some Guy) To go with your Burgerpipe: Push-Up Macaroni & Cheese! (25) (bcentral.com) Get a tan on the IRS (0) (slate.msn.com) Former "Super Baby" wants to be normal (25) (U of K) Bugfood: Insect snacks from around the world (2) March 19, 2001: # of Comments Mommy voted off in real-life Survivor (9) Ex-boyfriend files suit to stop abortion (48) (Bible.com) The danger of Pokemon fascination (19) Supreme Court declines to comment on Papa Johns - Pizza Hut case (25) Congress Ignores Most E-Mail (7) For Sale: American White Boy's virginity (11) (Star-Tribune) Man tracked through phone records and convicted for complaining his dentist was drunk (1) (TechTV) Fark makes top 10 comedy sites at TechTV (19) (Some Guy) What the hell is wrong with the Japanese? Real japanese TV shows (contains boobies) (9) (NZHerald) Lost men lick bush ordeal (5) (The Sun) "We hate our boobies" (safe for work) (10) (Straightdope.com) Atheism is # 2 in list of religions (23) Make up a caption for this picture (pic) (48) Taliban atone for delay in blowing up statues by slaughtering 100 cows (18) Kathie Lee's first movie is so bad, it might be good (8) (Lycos) Canadians kill baby seals, then lose half the pelts (6) (The Smoking Gun) List of 'obscene' license plates prohibited in Florida, including several beginning with AA and KC that don't make sense at all (35) Jail time for spammers (19) Even more annoying ways to pass out Chick tracts (46) (PhillyInq) Student ski-trip-turned-striptease outrages parents (25) (Some Guy) Star Trek's Scotty sacked for claiming engines 'cannae take it' (2) (theage.com.au) Heroin shortage sparks crime wave (5) (the sun) Black man receives AOL CD addressed to Mr Jungle Bunny (27) Coke plans to provide Coke on tap at customers' homes (14) Cinemas sick of kids getting genitals out during films (16) Attorney asks for incest case to be dismissed because sex between uncles and neices is not specifically prohibited in Kentucky (10) Japan cuts interest rates to near zero (8) Paramount negotiating with Scott Bakula (Quantum Leap) to become lead in new Star Trek series (24) French philosopher claims Gulf War never happened (34) Makers of The Mummy 2 change female lead's name for fear of boob jokes (22) Plane hits 'Arrive Unhurt' sign during crash landing (17) Japan alerts residents to possible danger from next Sunday's Mir splashdown (complete with doomsday graphics) (4) (Cubanet) Cuban children yanked out of school and forced into potato picking brigades (4) (Some Guy) Full Cup (16) (Robofilms) If you can't be bothered to rent a video, visit this site (7) (sun-sentinel) Mating season prompts startup of got-a-gator in my yard hotline (8)