FARK.com

To read an article, click on the small icon to the left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.

Today:
		CAP complains about there being no Jesus memorabilia. Then complains about there not being enough. Also complains that a catholic priest never said 'jesus'
		Michaelangelo's David is cross-eyed
		Free Olympic condoms for Olympians. In gold silver and bronze.
		Surprising no one, Sinead O'Connor says she's a lesbian.
(Penny Arcade)		Penny-Arcade cartoons
(RAR)		Rent-A-Relative
		ABC gives Clerks cartoon the boot
(The Urban Legend magazine)		Radio show sparks 'beer riots'
(Toast Bible)		The Toast Bible
		Huge solar storm going on right now
		Gas in larger cities is more expensive because of federal mandates to only offer cleaner fuel
		Man has eaten three meals a day at McDonalds for the past 12 years
		Elderly man dies while trying to prove he is still alive
		Harry at Aint-It-Cool-News delivers an absolutely rave review of Shaft
		Blisster -- Napster for actual physical items
(Mr. Cranky)		Mr. Cranky reviews Big Momma's House
(NY Post)		Stripper on Witness Stand 'I looked like a freak show.' Plastic Surgeon Put Breast Implants in her Butt
(LVRJ)		Ghost in hotel up for auction. Not an eBay gimmick
(Ottawa Citizen)		Americans earn more and are taxed less than Canadians
(VICE magazine)		Designer artillary: For the lady on the go with some ASS TO KICK!
		Museum visitor sits on Ming Dynasty chair, breaks it
		Fuckertown: exploring the power of obscenity and news ways to infuse a fictional narrative with business models
(LookItsA)		An archive of pictures of clouds with interpretations as to what they look like

June 8, 2000:
(Profit Magazine)		'Teen Behavior Modification Centers' often put teens through worse experiences than their parents are trying to get them away from.
(textfiles.com)		People have been looking for this IQUEST owner for many, many years. Here's a file describing his methods and previous scams. A second file is this one.
(IWeThey)		Steve Ballmer's reaction to the Microsoft decision
(Ad Critic)		Disturbing new Sony Playstation commercial
(Indianapolis Star)		Local Net firm founder was living a double life. Former IQuest owner had been a fugitive since 1986 on a charge that he shot a Texas policeman.
(Urban Legend mag)		Accountants brutal, claims biker gang
		TV show featuring naked people gives Channel 5 (UK) highest ratings ever
		AT&T promises FCC it will lower rates. Then it raises rates.
		Pennsylvania town renames itself 'South Park'
		Security guard for the British Prime Minister disciplined for firing his gun when a collegue broke wind
		The Justice Departments next monopoly target? Visa and Mastercard
		Id Software announces it's working on a remake of Doom
(New Scientist)		Eel brain successfully implanted into robot body (via RobotWisdom)
		Theives in Boston steal giant ferris wheel in broad daylight. No witnesses.
		A staple food of Andeans in Peru: guinea pigs
		FDA to legalize RU-486, with some conditions attached
		Things not to do when you can't find a baby sitter for your kid.
		Geckos use Van der Waals forces to grip surfaces, even molecularly smooth surfaces
		Scientists discover how penguins can tell each other apart
		Nicholas Cage giving up on Superman
(Fishynews)		Shop at the Home Despot
		The actual court document for the breakup of Microsoft
		What if Gladiator (the movie) had featured today's wrestling stars. It's funny even if you have no clue who those wrestlers are
(Modern Humorist)		Ask Jeez! (as in Jesus) (This isn't the same as Ask Jesus thing we had a while back)
		Microsoft is going to appeal the breakup decision.
		Blackadder CD Rom coming out, and you can help influence what's going to be on it.

June 7, 2000:
(SunSpot)		Bars in Fells Point, MD plan to stop 'college night'.
(ComedyClub)		Designed for South Africa - a crime fighting guide for paranoics
(Miami Herald)		Ex-baseball player escapes drug charges. His defense: he's too stupid to have known better.
		Police chief shoplifts in uniform
		Black holes blow as well as suck
(Urban Legend mag)		Wine writer bowled by bus
		An editorial on fast food burgers
		Elian coverage greatest since OJ
		Birdfeeder Cam
		Researchers say US children are big fatasses
		The first mobile slaughterhouse makes its debut
		Gorbachev rescued by lifeguard after getting pulled out to sea
		New cellphone virus detected
		Couple discovers deer taking bubble bath in their house
		Your weekly entertainment brief - Compton Gamma Ray Observatory tribute album in the works - Guns N' Roses to tour the U.S. in July for some reason
(The Spark)		How to lose a fight so the other guy goes to jail
(Chicago Sun Times)		Wagner Baseball card on Auction
(Staredown)		Stare Down Sally, a net game
(MercNews)		Crazed beaver terrorizes Canadian farm

June 6, 2000:
		Good neighbors are bad for police stings
		Someone's "hi, jack"ing the plane!
		Dog saved after emergency landing in Denver
		Texas prosecutors argue that a sleeping defense lawyer is adequate legal representation
		Charges dropped against 11-year-old girl for inciting riots
		Ruling Mexican political partiy hires male strippers for rally, 150,000 attend
		Golf ball attacks puzzle car dealer
		School children in Kenya go on drunken rampage. Those crazy kids!
		Boy impales groin on snooker cue
		Yet Another Elian Story. Watch at the end, relatives suing because they were intimidated by agents
		New Delhi's telecommunications infrastructure brought to its knees by rats
		Spanish towns to run electric plants by burning 10' tall geneticly modified monster artichokes
(WebPagesThatSuck)		WebPagesThatSuck.com.
(Exit76)		Battle of the internet studs
(IowaFarmer)		Iowa news! Watch corn grow on the corncam
		The official fruit of Oregon State U - the maraschino cherry
		New electric bikes
		Police chase sheep through NY City
(Saverainforest.net)		Similar to Hungersite but here sponsors purchase a little bit of rainforest.
(Flying Halibut)		Young man held in suspense, baffled by outcome
		MovieJuice reviews Big Momma's House
(Stile)		Touched-up pic of anti-pornography demonstrators (If your work has content filters, StileProject is definitely in them. Nothing wrong with the actual pic)
		Record number of wiretaps requested by Justice Department last year
(NYMag)		How kids use instant messaging (via RobotWisdom)
		Atlanta Braves relief pitcher and complete jackass John Rocker sent down to the minor leagues
		Norwegians break underwater Monopoly-playing record
		More Star Wars Episode 2 news: Samuel L. Jackson rumored to be slated for badass fight scene
(sltrib)		Kid writes criticism and gossip of his school and classmates on web page, is arrested, has computer confiscated, and is forced to leave the state.
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)		World's largest 'Diaper Derby' held recently
(Urban Legend mag)		Work addiction - a case study
		Features a helicopter escape from a sex-offender prison. What more could you ask for?
(Cult of Nobody)		Citizens League for Interference in Television mobilize for Million Mom March
		First silicone, and now oil filled breats implants are recalled, too.

June 5, 2000:
		Elvis bust lamp
(X-Entertainment)		Top 10 Most Notable 'Real World' cast members
(Restrooms)		A womans guide to peeing standing up.
(Some Guy)		Buy a Montana Farting Contest coat rack
(InsideChina)		Dali Lama responsible for rape, murder, and child cannibalism says China (via StileProject)
		Man admits sending ghosts to attack girls
		6,000 Mexico City residents flooded out by sewage
(CSNnews)		Vice President of U of Iowa: white men are the root of most evil
(TheRegister)		New Madonna single leaked to the Internet via Napster
		Whatever happened to the suspects in The Love Bug case?
		Full human genome mapping to be finished any day now
		Microsoft's South African offices bombed
(Toronto Star)		Instead of cars, country singers steal horses.
(NYPost)		OJ miserably failed lie detector test
		Man who promised to pay tuition for 4th grade class in 1992 celebrates their graduation from high school
		Horny crocodile sinks seaplane when he tries to mate with it
		DNA scanners to be used to find Olympic conterfeits.
		Britany Spears offered $10mil for sex.
		Artist shoots 150-person live nude photo in NYC
		A 15' anaconda dies of constapation.
		Website causes judge to throw out murder case.
(2600)		The MPAA attempts to bar press coverage of hearings.
(BBspot.com)		Metallica's new album is Napster-proof
		Police 'pinch' bread-squeezing 'criminal'. Beware of killer puns.
(Nando)		Teen forgoes appendectomy for prom
(Some Guy)		Lyrics to the song: The Pope Smokes Dope

June 2, 2000:
(Snopes)		Woman discovers boyfriend is married on live radio show. Not an urban legend. RealAudio file included
(CampChaos)		Motley Crue helps produce cartoon response to Metallica's napster suit
		Music sales up, Internet promotions credited. Napster effect minimal
(BBSpot)		Number of linux distributions passes number of linux users
(CarTalk)		Worst Car of the Millenuim contest winners. By those Cartalk guys.
		British rail engineers use hand-drawn maps to navigate
		Woody Harrelson to stand trial for publicly planting hemp seeds in Kentucky
		500lb moose on the loose at UMass
		Pennsylvania makes spreading computer virii a felony
		Missiles fired to rule out TWA-800 theory. Demonstrates the power of Urban Legends
		Piece of performance art involves 50 nude people and a small flock of sheep
		Researchers find it impossible to quietly unwrap candy in a theater. Your tax dollars at work
(Urban Legend mag)		Minister becomes butt of jokes after photocopier mishap
(GeorgyBush)		A musical answer to compassionate conservatism
(Canoe)		Canada declares bare breasts ok on TV
(NY Observer)		The 'Hot Doctor' Is young, single and looks good in linen. Female patients refer droves of people to his practice
		That naked guy who attacked chuch members with a sword back in December was found not guity by reason of insanity.
(JSOnline)		Circus giant's face too big to fit in hotel mirror
(Fredericksburg)		Cemetary advertizes available space with little placards on top of potential gravesites
		Teens enjoy company of same-sex couples at prom
(Billings Gazette)		Herbstfest has gone the way of Lollapalooza
(X-Entertainment)		Atari 2600 Hall of Shame
		Cats can now go on vacation.
		Golfer suing groundskeeper for getting hit by her own ball has suit dismissed.
		The dialectizer is down for a while.

June 1, 2000:
(X-Entertainment)		An interview with Optimus Prime
(Seattle PI)		The redneck who drove his pickup onto a roof is now wanted by cops for allegedly purchasing the tires with a stolen credit card.
(Ad Critic)		Parodies of the Molson "I am Canadian" commercial have already begun.
(SJMercury)		Insiders can't sell shares in a company until one year after it IPOs. Many companies hit the one year mark this summer. Financial chaos anticipated as crappy shares flood the market
(Some Guy)		A website listing of strange things sold in vending machines
		Ukrainian soccer team stranded in England after their planes are reposessed
		Roger Moore the octopus opens jam jar in record time
		Trans-polar balloonist nearly dies sleepwalking out of gondola
		Spanish socialists up in arms over sexist descriptions of local mountain ranges
		Two Miami residents charged with selling fake traffic-light-changing devices
		4 indicted in lobster-smuggling conspiracy
		Janet Jackson getting a divorce. Was secretly married for nine years
		Ethiopians shocked as freak rainstorm begins to rain fish
		Scientists trying to make bigger popcorn
(ComedyClub)		Should stand-up comedians offer self-help courses?
		Thousands of languages to be extinct by 2100
		Hapless crook tries rob female taekwondo black belt twice in one week. His groin will never be the same
		The end is nigh: janitor strike looms in Silicon Valley
		CAP reviews Dinosaur. Poor CAP doesn't know what to make of Dinosaurs and their place in God's creation
		Apartment-wide porn sweep precedes date's arrival
		Senior Prank Day over-excites principal, ends up hospitalized
		Ethiopia declares war over. Eritrea vows to fight on. I'm no genius but I'd say the war isn't over
(Urban Legend Mag)		The Frankenbeef Scare
(Boston Phoenix)		No more pinball machines: last big maker calls it quits
(SeattlePI)		Man drives truck onto roof. Complete with picture.

May 31, 2000:
(Quinn's Schmoo)		Vast collections of little people (the Fisher-Price kind)
(Backtable)		Table of condiments that periodically go bad
(Flying Halibut)		Guinness named favorite lunch of American office workers
(Flying Halibut)		Kids sue Milk Drinker's Council
		Thai scientists turn human shit into fuel
		MovieJuice review of Mission Impossible 2
(Clerks TCS)		Clerks the cartoon starts tonight.
		PETA member hits a guy in the face with a tofu pie. (movie)
(University of Toronto)		A new kind of silicon film that could lead to entirely photonic computer.
		Prince Frederik of Denmark finished a 2170 mile dogsled trip
(CBS Marketwatch)		3 more people beheaded in Saudi Arabia yesterday. Brings the total for the year to 49
(Some Freaking Truck Co.)		This is one SERIOUS road trip vehicle!
		In-depth article on Japan's first sumo wrestler flashing event in over 80 years
NYT		Physics experiment measures light possibly moving at 300 times the speed of light
		British pub holds stinging nettle eating contest
		World's new tallest towers open in Malaysia
		Doctor who carved initials into patient banned from medicine
		Bird threatened with extinction because bird watchers keep ruining the mood
		Michelle Pfeiffer refused entry into London's Millenium Dome, staff did not recognize her
		Shaky Google. Search with shake.
(NYT)		Fox TV pushes 'reality shows' to the Net.
(WashingtonCity)		Whatever happened to Leif Garret? The same thing that will happen to Hanson
(usounds)		Daily music stories and mp3s.

May 30, 2000:
(Daily Breeze)		High school students missed too many classes, so the school says they get to miss prom too
		Teens tell cops their mom made them rob house
		The first key to stealing something -- make sure you know where you can hide it first (especially if it's a helicopter)
		Eddie Van Halen receiving treatment for cancer
(Some Guy)		Rat Facts
		Remains of America's first submarine found
		Hijacker found dead, homemade parachute failed
		This Elian Gonzalez thing is going a bit too far.
(StileProject)		Local police are now targetting... (pic) (if your office has filtering software, this site is probably in it. The picture itself is fine however)
		One man accounts for 10% of all injuries reported on British rail last year
(RCDB)		Online roller-coaster database
(Inside)		Salon.com: the next dot-com failure?
		Crack Italian military unit invades wrong country
		Tired of Internet porn? Try Internet corn
		Freezing dead mom in basement illegal, court says.
		Ring lost in ocean returned after 22 years
		Oakland second baseman completes 10th unassisted triple play in history
		Annual cheese-rolling contest held in England
		Fat dog rescued from canal
		Ancient scientist Archimedes invented and used a laser on invading Roman navy in 212 BC (via Ancient Wisdom)
(Some Guy)		When they say a server is bulletproof, they mean it.
(Mr. Cranky)		Mr. Cranky's Comments on MI2
		Fake Country tries to buy guns.
(JaysKids)		Are you one of Screamin' Jay Hawkins' 57 bastard children?
(Urban Legend mag)		Man lost in internet, feared dead
		Inmate auctions tickets to his execution. Hmmm
		Haxor warz, turn based mad skillz.
(Salt Lake Tribune)		Salt Lake hit by 2nd tornado in a year. 'At one point, it looked like Jesus Christ praying.' - Witness. 'God, I hate this state.' - Submitter
(SciFi.com)		A very wrong cartoon series. See season one for the origins of dog punting
		Failed dot-com boo.com bought for 250k British pounds.
		Police evacuate park after two men lob acid bombs from balcony
		Dangerous Sports Club has another casualty
(Some Guy)		An amusing Everquest log

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