[Our Sponsor]

[FARK.com]


To read an article, click on the small icon to the left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.
Today:
(Snopes) [stupid] Woman discovers boyfriend is married on live radio show. Not an urban legend. RealAudio file included
(CampChaos) [amusing] Motley Crue helps produce cartoon response to Metallica's napster suit
[Wired] [interesting] Music sales up, Internet promotions credited. Napster effect minimal
(BBSpot) [satire] Number of linux distributions passes number of linux users
(CarTalk) [amusing] Worst Car of the Millenuim contest winners. By those Cartalk guys.
[Excite] [scary] British rail engineers use hand-drawn maps to navigate
[Herald-Leader] [misc.] Woody Harrelson to stand trial for publicly planting hemp seeds in Kentucky
[Ananova] [amusing] 500lb moose on the loose at UMass
[CNN] [interesting] Pennsylvania makes spreading computer virii a felony
[CNN] [amusing] Missiles fired to rule out TWA-800 theory. Demonstrates the power of Urban Legends
[Ananova] [weird] Piece of performance art involves 50 nude people and a small flock of sheep
[Ananova] ["news"] Researchers find it impossible to quietly unwrap candy in a theater. Your tax dollars at work
(Urban Legend mag) [satire] Minister becomes butt of jokes after photocopier mishap
(GeorgyBush) [satire] A musical answer to compassionate conservatism
(Canoe) [amusing] Canada declares bare breasts ok on TV
(NY Observer) [silly] The 'Hot Doctor' Is young, single and looks good in linen. Female patients refer droves of people to his practice
[BBC] [obvious] That naked guy who attacked chuch members with a sword back in December was found not guity by reason of insanity.
(JSOnline) [amusing] Circus giant's face too big to fit in hotel mirror
(Fredericksburg) [sick] Cemetary advertizes available space with little placards on top of potential gravesites
[CNN] [obvious] Teens enjoy company of same-sex couples at prom
(Billings Gazette) [sappy] Herbstfest has gone the way of Lollapalooza
(X-Entertainment) [satire] Atari 2600 Hall of Shame
[CNN] [misc.] Cats can now go on vacation.
[BBC] [stupid] Golfer suing groundskeeper for getting hit by her own ball has suit dismissed.
[C|Net] [sad] The dialectizer is down for a while.
June 1, 2000:
(X-Entertainment) [amusing] An interview with Optimus Prime
(Seattle PI) [amusing] The redneck who drove his pickup onto a roof is now wanted by cops for allegedly purchasing the tires with a stolen credit card.
(Ad Critic) [silly] Parodies of the Molson "I am Canadian" commercial have already begun.
(SJMercury) [scary] Insiders can't sell shares in a company until one year after it IPOs. Many companies hit the one year mark this summer. Financial chaos anticipated as crappy shares flood the market
(Some Guy) [amusing] A website listing of strange things sold in vending machines
[Excite] [amusing] Ukrainian soccer team stranded in England after their planes are reposessed
[Excite] [amusing] Roger Moore the octopus opens jam jar in record time
[BBC] [amusing] Trans-polar balloonist nearly dies sleepwalking out of gondola
[Excite] [stupid] Spanish socialists up in arms over sexist descriptions of local mountain ranges
[Excite] [silly] Two Miami residents charged with selling fake traffic-light-changing devices
[CNN] [strange] 4 indicted in lobster-smuggling conspiracy
[CNN] [strange] Janet Jackson getting a divorce. Was secretly married for nine years
[Ananova] [weird] Ethiopians shocked as freak rainstorm begins to rain fish
[Ananova] [strange] Scientists trying to make bigger popcorn
(ComedyClub) [scary] Should stand-up comedians offer self-help courses?
[eBay] [interesting] Thousands of languages to be extinct by 2100
[Ananova] [amusing] Hapless crook tries rob female taekwondo black belt twice in one week. His groin will never be the same
[Wired] [weird] The end is nigh: janitor strike looms in Silicon Valley
[CapAlert] [silly] CAP reviews Dinosaur. Poor CAP doesn't know what to make of Dinosaurs and their place in God's creation
[The Onion] [satire] Apartment-wide porn sweep precedes date's arrival
[CNN] [amusing] Senior Prank Day over-excites principal, ends up hospitalized
[CNN] ["news"] Ethiopia declares war over. Eritrea vows to fight on. I'm no genius but I'd say the war isn't over
(Urban Legend Mag) [satire] The Frankenbeef Scare
(Boston Phoenix) [sad] No more pinball machines: last big maker calls it quits
(SeattlePI) [stupid] Man drives truck onto roof. Complete with picture.
May 31, 2000:
(Quinn's Schmoo) [amusing] Vast collections of little people (the Fisher-Price kind)
(Backtable) [amusing] Table of condiments that *periodically* go bad
(Flying Halibut) [satire] Guinness named favorite lunch of American office workers
(Flying Halibut) [satire] Kids sue Milk Drinker's Council
[BBC] [interesting] Thai scientists turn human shit into fuel
[Movie Juice] [amusing] MovieJuice review of Mission Impossible 2
(Clerks TCS) [PSA] Clerks the cartoon starts tonight.
[Washington Post] [stupid] PETA member hits a guy in the face with a tofu pie. (movie)
(University of Toronto) [interesting] A new kind of silicon film that could lead to entirely photonic computer.
[Washington Post] [interesting] Prince Frederik of Denmark finished a 2170 mile dogsled trip
(CBS Marketwatch) [interesting] 3 more people beheaded in Saudi Arabia yesterday. Brings the total for the year to 49
(Some Freaking Truck Co.) [spiffy] This is one SERIOUS road trip vehicle!
[Salon] [amusing] In-depth article on Japan's first sumo wrestler flashing event in over 80 years
NYT [strange] Physics experiment measures light possibly moving at 300 times the speed of light
[Excite] [stupid] British pub holds stinging nettle eating contest
[CNN] [spiffy] World's new tallest towers open in Malaysia
[CNN] [sick] Doctor who carved initials into patient banned from medicine
[Ananova] [amusing] Bird threatened with extinction because bird watchers keep ruining the mood
[Ananova] ["news"] Michelle Pfeiffer refused entry into London's Millenium Dome, staff did not recognize her
(low pass) [amusing] Shaky Google. Search with shake.
(NYT) [scary] Fox TV pushes 'reality shows' to the Net.
(WashingtonCity) [sad] Whatever happened to Leif Garret? The same thing that will happen to Hanson
(usounds) [misc.] Daily music stories and mp3s.
May 30, 2000:
(Daily Breeze) [interesting] High school students missed too many classes, so the school says they get to miss prom too
[LA Times] [stupid] Teens tell cops their mom made them rob house
[BostonGlobe] [stupid] The first key to stealing something -- make sure you know where you can hide it first (especially if it's a helicopter)
[CNN] [sad] Eddie Van Halen receiving treatment for cancer
(Some Guy) [misc.] Rat Facts
[Fox News] [interesting] Remains of America's first submarine found
[Excite] [stupid] Hijacker found dead, homemade parachute failed
[eBay] [amusing] This Elian Gonzalez thing is going a bit too far.
(StileProject) [amusing] Local police are now targetting... (pic) (if your office has filtering software, this site is probably in it. The picture itself is fine however)
[Excite] [stupid] One man accounts for 10% of all injuries reported on British rail last year
(RCDB) [spiffy] Online roller-coaster database
(Inside) [misc.] Salon.com: the next dot-com failure?
[Ananova] [amusing] Crack Italian military unit invades wrong country
[Excite] [strange] Tired of Internet porn? Try Internet corn
[Excite] [obvious] Freezing dead mom in basement illegal, court says.
[Herald-Leader] [spiffy] Ring lost in ocean returned after 22 years
[CNN] [spiffy] Oakland second baseman completes 10th unassisted triple play in history
[Ananova] [weird] Annual cheese-rolling contest held in England
[Ananova] [amusing] Fat dog rescued from canal
[Fox News] [interesting] Ancient scientist Archimedes invented and used a laser on invading Roman navy in 212 BC (via Ancient Wisdom)
(Some Guy) [strange] When they say a server is bulletproof, they mean it.
(Mr. Cranky) [amusing] Mr. Cranky's Comments on MI2
[Excite] [interesting] Fake Country tries to buy guns.
(JaysKids) [amusing] Are you one of Screamin' Jay Hawkins' 57 bastard children?
(Urban Legend mag) [satire] Man lost in internet, feared dead
[Excite] [sick] Inmate auctions tickets to his execution. Hmmm
(low pass) [amusing] Haxor warz, turn based mad skillz.
(Salt Lake Tribune) [ Salt Lake hit by 2nd tornado in a year.
'At one point, it looked like Jesus Christ praying.' - Witness.
'God, I hate this state.' - Submitter
(SciFi.com) [spiffy] A very wrong cartoon series. See season one for the origins of dog punting
[C|Net] [interesting] Failed dot-com boo.com bought for 250k British pounds.
[ABC News] [stupid] Police evacuate park after two men lob acid bombs from balcony
[BBC] [amusing] Dangerous Sports Club has another casualty
(Some Guy) [amusing] An amusing Everquest log
May 26, 2000:
[ABC News] [interesting] Feds flunk airport security test
[ZDNet] [interesting] Napster is Cutting into CD Sales, but only around Colleges.
(Utah Standard) [stupid] Whatever Happeened to Tiffany?
(Gainesville Sun) [scary] Starbucks vandalized. Latte Grande has the crowd hopping mad
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) [ Whatever happened to Soul Asylum?
(Deseret News) [spiffy] Kodak's Product Placement in M:I 2
(Dallas News) [sappy] George W's Twin Daughters Voted Most Likety to Trip at Prom & Appear on Cover of Vogue
[Washington Post] [interesting] 4 more criminals beheaded in Saudi Arabia - 46 so far this year (only 99 served last year)
[Boston Globe] [strange] The NMA is offering traffic ticket insurance.
[Fox News] [strange] Breeder faces 30-year dog show ban for using hair spray on poodle
[MSNBC] [ New big head $5 and $10 bills hit the street.
[ABC News] [strange] Deathrow inmate tries to sell tickets to his own execution on Ebay
[CNN] [PSA] Might not want to go out to get a burger in Kentucky, Indiana or Tennesse.
May 25, 2000:
[C|Net] ["news"] AOL / TimeWarner in trouble with the FCC again.
(Low Pass) [amusing] The Napster Forgiveness Machine. See what others have confessed or confess your own Napster sins
[Washington Post] [weird] Woman killed by ants
[Wired] [spiffy] Human Genome Project expected to be completed next month
[Excite] [amusing] 'Jesus' loses defamation suit against churches
[CNN] [amusing] Man robs plane, parachutes away. Blames his wife
(Canoe) [amusing] @Home site in Southern Ontario replaced with hardcore porn, 10,000 subscribers affected.
(Pimpdaddy) [amusing] Pimpdaddy.com. A good way to blow some spare time. Probably not good for work
(Flying Halibut) [satire] Drive thru heroin stands popping up in Seattle
(Flying Halibut) [satire] Canada Attacks!!
[Washington Post] [weird] Scientists have developed a camera that you can swallow to record the passage of your digestive tract
[AintItCoolNews] [silly] AICN has a scene cut from Clerks: The Animated Series
[CNN] [amusing] Scientists working feverishly on getting cheetahs in the mood
[CNN] [strange] Crayon manufacturers swear there is no asbestos threat from their crayons
(yeah, what do they care? they're not the ones eating 'em)
[Ananova] [spiffy] French fisherman nets 900 bottles of Veuve Cliquot champagne
[CNN] [interesting] McGwire becomes fastest player ever to reach 20 home runs this early in the season
[Ananova] [amusing] OJ refuses to press charges after his girlfriend smacks him around
[Ananova] [interesting] 15 foot tall giant ducks ruled the Earth after the dinosaurs
(NY Post) [PSA] American men suck in bed.
(CSMonitor) [sappy] Lazy parents enrolling kids with 'The Manners Lady'
(ADN) [amusing] Early in halibut season, fisherman lands a Cadillac
(BYU) [silly] Brigham Young University's laughably strict honor code
(There's a conveniently hidden link to clarifications on an invisible image between the links on the left side, and the text on that page)
(2600) [silly] 'Verizon realized this was going to happen and they went and had their lawyers register verizonsucks.com themselves'
(SunSpot) [interesting] Great quality journalism -- women exposing their breasts (sorry, but you can read this from work)
May 24, 2000:
[Ananova] [weird] Thief steals man's ashes at memorial service
[The Onion] [satire] US no longer responsible for lost or stolen items
[Ananova] [silly] Man attends own funeral
[Wired] [silly] Phone in the middle of nowhere too popular says Park Service
[Ananova] [strange] Cow swallows engagement ring, owner spends two days looking for it in field
[Excite] [amusing] Music firms file suit over lewd holiday songs ("Rudolph The Deep Throat Reindeer", "Frosty the Pervert")
[Excite] [amusing] Catholic Bishops caught in speed trap
(NewScientist) [obvious] Mobile phones fertile ground for the next generation of computer virii
[CNN] [amusing] Microsoft trial judge considers splitting Microsoft into three parts
[Ananova] [spiffy] World's oldest cat turns 30
[Ananova] [weird] Thai scientist claims to have discovered process to turn human extrement into oil, charcoal, and gasoline
(OldManMurray) [misc.] Game review site that rates games based on how long it takes to reach the first crate
(someguy) [amusing] Register your own .god domain!
[MSNBC] [misc.] Car crashes on video
[AintItCoolNews] [interesting] Aint-It-Cool pans Mission Impossible 2
[Washington Post] [stupid] California Gov. wants to exempt teachers from state taxes, but the teachers unions would rather they get paid more (so they can give out the money in federal taxes)
(GibbleGuts) [amusing] Farting Dog harmonics
(FARK) [amusing] Best contestants on the Mate Match game
For an article explaining the history of this urban legend, go to Snopes
[Wired] [asinine] Russian president kills the Russian equivalent of the EPA
[Wired] [amusing] Two 'victims' of porn lobby congress for more anti-porn laws
(Some Guy) [interesting] A cache of online maps of the US from the 18th and 19th centuries
[USA Today] [strange] Denver considers using satellites to track city workers to make sure they're not 'loafing off'
[CNN] [interesting] Caffeine may protect the brain from Parkinsons Disease
[CNN] [PSA] G-rated animated films surprisingly violent, study says
(votenet) [misc.] See, amoung other things, a list of political contributors and amounts. Searchable by zip code.
[Wired] [interesting] Scientists developing cancer vaccine from contraceptive
(TimmyBigHands) [sick] An incredibly personal crossword by a bitter guy whose girlfriend left him, but you can try to play along too.
(The Oregonian) [strange] Neighbors say Rose Society member is killing dogs with industrial pesticide sprayer
(Philly News) [scary] Philly pier owner told employee to 'cover up' 5-Inch crack
(they need to tell that to most plumbers, too.)
(Gainesville Sun) [weird] Dorm archeologist finds pizza boxes, used condoms and love letters
[Salon] [asinine] Matthew McConaughey embarrasses himself again, this time at a South Park party at Hooters
[Salon] [amusing] A review of the NeverLost (a GPS guided map type computer thingy)
[Ananova] [amusing] Glascow doesn't want Mike Tyson to box there
[Excite] [interesting] In Australia, pot growers also steal electricity.
[C|Net] [stupid] People bitching because they waited to the last minute to order flowers over the internet for Mother's Day.
May 23, 2000:
[Excite] [amusing] A women only shopping mall.
(Where are the men-only malls, where we don't get stuck holding a purse while our SO takes 2hrs to 'try something on'?)
(Some Guy) [amusing] How not to clean a plane (don't miss this link!)
[Ananova] [weird] Greek Elvis fan club, believing that space aliens will arrive asking for information about Elvis, appoints ambassador
(EvilOverlord) [amusing] Top one hundred things to do if I ever became an evil overlord (via StileProject)
(JS Online) [stupid] PETA's new anti-milk ad campaign
(BareFooters) [amusing] The Dirty Sole Society
[Washington Post] [interesting] Archaeologists find 6,000 year old city in Syria
[Wired] [interesting] An in-depth article on the creation and growth of the original Mr. T Ate My Balls site
[Wired] [interesting] Napster secures $15mil in venture capital and a new CEO
[Yahoo] [amusing] British Royal Navy recruits told to shout 'BANG' instead of firing their weapons
[CNN] [strange] Elian's fisherman rescuer files $100 million dollar civil suit against Reno
[Excite] [stupid] Britain urges teachers to ban musical chairs on the grounds that it causes too much aggression
[Ananova] [strange] Schizophrenic woman attempts suicide 4 times. Finally chokes on sandwich.
[Salon] [ Spectacular dot-com flameouts: DEN and Boo are gone
(Oregonian) [amusing] Tonya Harding wears an orange vest with her prison roadside clean-up crew
(DMRegister) [amusing] Luther College bans TV station from taping naked soccer on campus. This is my alma matter, god bless them and god bless naked soccer -Drew (via ObscureStore)
(Hartford Courant) [sick] Basketball player urinates in teammate's Gatorade
[CNN] [sad] Man takes lifejacket from drowning boy to save his own life
(CBC) [sad] What Ever Happened to the Guess Who?
[CNN] [strange] San Francisco panel wants to ban plastic surgery for pets
[Fox News] [silly] Some people have a compulsion to eat dirt
May 22, 2000:
(Spud) [weird] The world's first potato-powered webserver.
[Wired] [amusing] A look back on Y2K alarmism
[Excite] [amusing] Trans-pacific sailing trip to bring attention to Save the Whales ends when the boat runs into one.
[Ananova] [strange] Hijacker tries to rob bus with ice pick, passengers kill him with it
[Movie Juice] [amusing] MovieJuice review of Road Trip
(Subbrilliant) [satire] Keith Richards has near-life experience
(Subbrilliant) [satire] ABBA to headline Palindromes for Peace concert
[Washington Post] [amusing] Al Gore boasts "I'm a 10th level Vice President" on Futurama
[Washington Post] [amusing] Egypt's mufti declares Coke OK in response to rumor that Coke's slogan contains insult to Islam- declares rumormongers will be plunged into hell for 70 autumns
(SatireWire) [satire] Federal Reserve prescribes 'controlled burn' of dot-coms
[CNN] [silly] Matt Perry drives Porche into porch.
(cinemasense) [amusing] A positive review of Battlefield Earth?
(find the spam) [silly] Find the Spam.
(Toronto Star) [sad] Hockey star Maurice 'Rocket' Richard is semi-comatose; fighting for his life
(ShakesBeer) [interesting] Shakesbeer.com: Online College Hangout
(Some Library) [interesting] A library search engine that allows you to search by book color
(Slate) [amusing] Regardless of your political persuasion, Bush's butchering of the english language is a hoot
(Some Guy) [amusing] Tornadoes and Trailer Parks: A Statistical Correlation

You are schmo number ____ to have visited this humble page.