[Our Sponsor]

[FARK.com]



To read an article, click on the small icon to the left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.
Today:
[Salon] [scary] Paula Jones to pose nude in some magazine
(Philly) [sick] 10th grader charged with disorderly conduct for public nose-picking let off with a warning
(DigitalMass) [weird] An article on Beer Geeks
(Nando) [obvious] Panel finds cell phones pose no health risks
[Wired] [silly] Best of the Webbies acceptance speeches. Winners were limitted to five words or less
[Excite] [strange] German streak-jogger ordered to cease and desist
[MSNBC] [interesting] Napster going down in flames, despite support from artists.
FARK [PSA] We have new topics. (We're probably the only ones who care). [If you care, the F.A.Q. has the comprehensive list]
(Some Guy) [amusing] A new Unix version of the ILOVEYOU virus
[Washington Post] [interesting] Radioactive documents found in Maryland
[MSNBC] [interesting] Brain injury patients better at detecting liars
(SunTimes) [amusing] Ebert rings in on Battlefield: Earth. 1/2 *
"I watched it in mounting gloom, realizing I was witnessing something historic, a film that for decades to come will be the punch line of jokes about bad movies."
[Excite] [amusing] Villagers opt to keep their street name: Cowshit Lane
(some guy) [amusing] The Pussy Goth Archive. Containing pictures of goths with comments.
(Some Guy) [strange] A beginner's guide to self-circumcision
(Some Guy) [amusing] The Ultimate Build Your Own Cow Page version 2.05 (via USAToday)
(AdCritic) [silly] The Clinton 'last days' movie, for those who haven't seen it. (safe for work, so long as you don't work for the democratic party)
[Excite] [stupid] Man who sold garage sale painting on eBay for $135,000 suspended for bidding on his own auction to drive up the price
[CNN] [amusing] Darva Conger of Who Wants To Marry a Millionaire fame to pose nude for Playboy
(The-Times) [interesting] Debunking myths about Gladiators (via Ancient News)
[Fox News] [ Cigarette taxes spur cigarette bootlegging
(HeraldNet) [stupid] Behind the scenes at Judge Judy's TV Courtroom
(Billings) [sappy] First and only Special Olympics runner in 3000 meters event wins handily
(CampChaos) [amusing] 'Napster Bad!' A cartoon about Metallica and Napster. Safe for work only if you turn the volume way down, lots of cursing
[ABC News] [sick] Burger King employees spit in, added cleaning fluid to customers' food...for eight months
(Free-Lance Star) [silly] 'Elvis isnt dead, he's just in assisted living.'
(GainesvilleSun) [silly] Zucchini capitol of Florida to crown Miss 'Zu-Queenie' Saturday.
[eBay] [amusing] For sale: RIAA Soul and Integrity
[CNN] [amusing] FBI says some State Department reporters are spies from other countries
May 11, 2000:
[eBay] [strange] For sale: Muhammed Ali vs. Mr Tooth Decay record album
(Sunherald) [amusing] A look into the soul of an 'N Sync fan
[Excite] [stupid] Woman sent to jail for casting magic spell on husband, wins on appeal
[CNN] [strange] Bird's nest suspected in Portugal blackout
[AintItCoolNews] [amusing] A number of Battlefield: Earth reviews. Notable comments: "Stupid" "Dull" "It's too bad Mystery Science Theater 3000 was cancelled" "The director shot this movie like he was drunk and on crack"
(Some guy) [amusing] It's Larry!
(Canoe.ca) [amusing] Inspired by a beer commercial, a Toronto company is now changing the pronunciation of the letter Z on it's phone system.
(Canoe.ca) [stupid] Hacker Kevin Mitnick can't give lectures anymore - could face jailtime if he does.
(Canoe.ca) [amusing] Cybersex is addictive
[MSNBC] [stupid] Abstract painting bought at garage sale bid up to $135,805 on eBay based on rumor
May 10, 2000:
[LA Times] [amusing] Court upholds copyright infringement case against Michael Bolton
(Some Guy) [amusing] Chris Farley Dance (like the hamsterdance - but a better song)
[LA Times] [amusing] This week's anecdote column from LA LA Land
[LA Times] [silly] Belligerant brides burglarize bridal boutique
[Excite] [sick] Need a place to stash some drugs? Try a corpse.
[The Onion] [satire] 450,000 unsold Earthday editions of Time trucked to landfill
[Salon] [interesting] Being too clean hurts the body's immune system
[Excite] ["news"] Population of India to pass one billion tomorrow
[CNN] [sad] Wild Turkey warehouse consumed by fire, one million gallons of bourbon lost
[CNN] [interesting] Shaquille O'Neal one vote shy of unanimous NBA MVP selection. Highest percentage of votes ever
[ABC News] [interesting] Studies show clear genetic link between Arabs and Jews
(Canoe) [sick] Whatever happened to Keanu Reeve's band Dogstar?
(And what ever happened to Wyld Stallyns?)
(EurekAlert) [ Violent suicides coorelate with particular serotonin receptor ratio
[Excite] [ Lesbian Avengers protest hubub over alumni's Playboy appearance by going topless. Unfortunately, this is safe for work.
(Washington Times) [strange] Exterminators release 25 bar-coded roaches, offer prizes for returning them dead or alive
[ABC News] [strange] Scientists plan to exhume Napoleon's body to confirm how he died.
(some guy) [amusing] Some amusing quotes and sayings
(Napster) [stupid] Napster has decided to ban 320 000 users who Metallica claims 'infringed on their copyrights'.
(some guy) [amusing] Bad drawings of animals
(some guy) [amusing] 'Dear Arnie' advice column
(Some guy) [amusing] Learn Italian through pictures
(findagrave) [strange] A gravestone-locator search engine. Find graves of over 2.5 million people
[The Onion] [silly] This new toilet paper is so soft and absorbent
(Some guy) [amusing] Picture archive of people being scared by a backfiring van
(mrcrankey) [silly] Mr. Cranky reviews Gladiator
(Press) [interesting] Take a Densa quiz
(Dreadling) [interesting] 3D Shooter for PalmOS. It's on slashdot, so site is slow.
[ZDNet] [interesting] Steven Speilberg and Legos to collaborate on future projects
[Yahoo] [interesting] Can you identify this Chief petty Officer from W. W.II and the Korean War?
[Salon] [strange] South American tribe breast feeds monkeys.
[eBay] [amusing] Things for sale on eBay containing the words 'I love you'
May 9, 2000:
[AintItCoolNews] [interesting] Harrison Ford's next movie: GEMINI
[MSNBC] ["news"] Hayden Christensen cast as Anakin Skywalker for Star Wars: Episode II
[ABC News] ["news"] It's turkey mating season.
(Some Guy) [amusing] The Pokemon edition of the Humvee
(Some Guy) [interesting] Personal homepage of the Philipino woman accused of coding ILOVEYOU. This will probably be a broken link soon due to excessive traffic
(stumbled ...) [sick] The LA County Coroner in California gift shop
(some guy) [amusing] Moorhen, the game that's destroying productivity all over Europe. (In German, but easy to navigate, download and install)
[eBay] [amusing] Metallica's Integrity for Sale on eBay... didn't think it would be worth that much.
(Bunnies) [sappy] Pictures of baby bunnies!
[eBay] [amusing] Things for sale on eBay containing the word 'lickin'
[Wired] [misc.] Canada does away with the $1,000 bill (worth $1.67 US)
[Wired] [stupid] Congress about to make links to drug sites illegal (uh oh, we're probably in trouble over the Crack Afficianado link)
(Kodak) [misc.] Birdcam 2000: watch baby peregrine falcons grow up
(Dotcomguy) [stupid] Checking in on dotcomguy: living for a year using only the internet to buy stuff
[Excite] [amusing] Anarchists plan mass-mooning outside of Buckingham Palace
[MSNBC] [stupid] Police demand residents throw away their junk cars
(Tamucc) [amusing] Strawberry Pop-Tart Blow-Torches: a research study
(Thirdrail) [strange] Crack Afficionado, the magazine
(Seattle Times) [silly] Asian Men rising in popularity
(Sun-Times) [survey] 75.8% of Americans would give up caffeine for $1,000
(Albuquerque) [ Virus-tracker says German man is responsible for 'ILOVEYOU'
(Jailbabes) [strange] Find romance behind bars
[Herald-Leader] [interesting] Kentucky coal mines 10 years away from running out of easy-to-get coal
(View Askew) [interesting] Clerks the Cartoon to debut May 31st
[CapAlert] [amusing] Cap review of Gladiator (spolier). Marks off points for 'street puppet flatulence used as weapon'
May 8, 2000:
[CapAlert] [amusing] CAP reviews Frequency. He sort of spoils the movie, sort of meaning he is confused by what happened and can't figure it out. Drew hasn't seen the movie and this didn't spoil it for him, he couldn't tell what CAP was going on about. Special bonus: CAP issues a call for anyone who can find a bible passage about messing with the timestream and whether that's a sin or not.
(Kittens!) [sappy] Pictures of kittens!
(Catnip Cafe) [misc.] Get a free sample of catnip tea (for humans)
[Washington Post] [amusing] Clinton endorses 'Million Mom March' (to be held at a mall of course)
(the mall, not a mall... the big park in DC.)
[Washington Post] [amusing] Ohio is in federal court over their motto
(Some Guy) [amusing] Archive of mis-heard lyrics
(Some Guy) [amusing] Virtual Etch-E-Sketch
[CNN] [strange] High school runs background checks on students' prom dates
(SatireWire) [satire] Internet travel company focuses on the 'gullible' market segment
(SatireWire) [satire] Stock dive forces Internet companies to use 'money'
(Rice U) [amusing] The T.W.I.N.K.I.E.S. project
(KLI) [interesting] The Klingon Language Institute
(Hecklers) [amusing] Top 10 signs your census worker is screwing up (Hi Terry)
(Hecklers) [amusing] The Tempt Charlie Sheen game
[Excite] [strange] Man smuggles dead father-in-law onto bus
[BBC] [interesting] Geyser shoots water 500 feet in the air
[eBay] [amusing] For sale: lunchbox with syphilis-prevention messages on it.
[Washington Post] [misc.] Number of murders in several US cities
[CNN] [stupid] Ohio priest refuses to identify man who stabbed him during confession
[Excite] [sad] Guy divorces his wife via email (what a wuss)
(Comics2Film) [interesting] Live-action The Tick series update
(some guy) [interesting] What if the V-Chip was applied to the Bible?
[CNN] [interesting] NASA unveils pictures of giant dog-bone in space
May 5, 2000:
(Wal-Mart) [amusing] Apply for a job at Wal-Mart
[Washington Post] [stupid] DC still pissed off they don't get to vote.
(Yeah, and they're going to bitch in 10 years when they realize they didn't get a new quarter, too)
[Washington Post] [amusing] Larry Flint to open sex superstore
[eBay] [amusing] Things for sale on eBay containing the words 'log frog'
(Fark.net) [amusing] Fark.net. I assume this is somewhere in Asia
(GameSpy) [strange] Review of Christian PC games - Bible Ball and Adventures With Chickens.
[CNN] [stupid] Second laptop missing from US State Dept.
(CowNipple) [amusing] The Maryland Cownipple. Humorous magazine, safe for work (I think)
(Some Guy) [amusing] Bizarre rumor generator
(Some Guy) [amusing] Use a Magic 8 Ball - webcam on the robot that shakes it for you
(Some Guy) [amusing] Curse in Gaelic with this handy curse generator
(P45) [amusing] Italian-omatic
[eBay] [amusing] List of 'Elian' items for sale on Ebay (didn't they just clean these up?)
(P45) [amusing] Irish humor site
[CNN] [interesting] Cinco de Mayo is NOT a major holiday in Mexico
[CNN] [misc.] Flyers-Penguins game goes into five overtimes
(MoreCrap) [satire] Oval Office cam
[CapAlert] [amusing] Cap reviews American Psycho - gives first ever zero score
(Some guy) [satire] GodHatesFigs.com
(Studio 360) [interesting] Explore the Mayan ruins of Tikal
(USGS) [interesting] Latest list of earthquakes
(Some Guy) [satire] The original live nude hamster cam
(MyFreeCar) [interesting] MyFreeCar.com. This is the site that will pay you to put ads on your car. Doesn't look too bad actually
(Lycos) [amusing] The top 50 Lycos searches (via RobotWisdom)
[Excite] [strange] Chickens banned from California town after several random chicken attacks
[CNN] [amusing] Howdy Doody puppet caught in custody battle
[CNN] [strange] Business booms for confederate flag-making company
[eBay] [amusing] List of items for auction on eBay containing the word 'scrotum'
(SacramentoBee) [silly] Whatever happened to Kirk Cameron?
(CSM) [silly] Brad Pitt and Julia Roberts fuel the economy of tiny Mexican town
(Ottawa) [ Wired Editor Speaks About 'Dumb Power.'
(Billings) [sad] Whatever happened to Jefferson Starship?
(Ugly) [strange] UglyPeople.com
May 4, 2000:
(NandoTimes) [interesting] Mexicans confused by American Cinco de Mayo celebrations
(Ask Jeeves) [silly] Is Jeeves Gay?
(Computer World) ["news"] Another "I love you article" - we pretty much have the day to ourselves today, they shut down our email system to prevent contamination. Whee! Free Time!
[Washington Post] [amusing] Texas residents attacked by hawks
[eBay] [strange] New Guillotine Head Chopping Off Game
[Excite] [amusing] The US military shops at Walmart.
[CNN] [interesting] That laptop the feds lost might have had lots of important stuff on it.
[Washington Post] ["news"] Libyans say they didn't blow up the plane.
(This is only interesting to Joe, because [1] he didn't get to find anyone guilty at Jury Duty yesterday, and [2] Camp Zeist is really Camp New Amsterdam, aka Shoesterburg AFB, where Joe grew up)
[CNN] ["news"] I LOVE YOU virus kicking some ass
[USA Today] [amusing] eBay yanks Elian items
[Excite] [amusing] British over-40 rugby team accidentally plays professional Romanian team due to translation error
[Excite] [amusing] Australian soup kitchens losing food reserves to backpackers looking for a cheap meal
[CNN] [misc.] Demand for bacon-burgers driving up the price of pork
(Luci's Page) [amusing] Chicken suit auction classified ad
(SeattlePI) [silly] High Court considers no-sex rule for lawyers
[USA Today] [ Stupidity surrounding CBS' Survivor show
(low pass) [amusing] Automatically strip the search query from the dark pit of your subconscious in the form of a coherent sentence. This search engine predicts what question you want to Ask Jeeves
(Some Guy) [amusing] Bet on the next jumper off the Skyway! Via Obscurestore
(Some Guy) [amusing] If only there were a good description for this. It's funny though.
May 3, 2000:
[Washington Post] [amusing] The Newt is getting married
[Washington Post] [stupid] Guy gets tattoo... restaurant vows he won't stand in line ever again
(Flying Halibut) [satire] Backstreet Boys tired of being called boys - will change name
[Excite] [amusing] In Iran, you can insure your camel
[CNN] [strange] Oral sex causes cancer
[The Onion] [satire] What do you think: Vermont's gay marriage law
[The Onion] [satire] American people to live happily ever after
[Movie Juice] [amusing] MovieJuice reviews Gladiator ("In ancient Rome, every night was like sweeps on Fox")
[Washington Post] [interesting] Saudi beheadings up to 26 for the year - 5 this week!
[CNN] [amusing] Eight planets to line up Friday, scientist predict nothing will happen
[CNN] [strange] US Army wants to build a holodeck
[Fox News] [survey] Study debunks myth of hated mother-in-law
(Sky) [silly] Miss Jumbo 2000 Wins Honor of Leading Parade of Elephants
(STL) [ Governor Ryan hit by pie in the face
(Rochester) [silly] Evil StepMother Convicted, Cinderella Wins Big Bucks.
[eBay] [stupid] Water from the same ocean Elian Gonzalez was found in!
May 2, 2000:
(Financial Times) [interesting] Warren Buffet claims Internet wealth is like a chain letter.
[Washington Post] [amusing] Mexico celebrates donkey day
[BBC] [misc.] The brits know how to riot. (damned American WTO protest lamers... most of them were there just to piss off their parents)
[CNN] [amusing] FCC gives Time-Warner til end of business today to explain why it dropped ABC off its cable systems
[eBay] [stupid] Things for sale containing the word 'Elian'
[ZDNet] [stupid] Buy authentic Elian breathed air!
[AintItCoolNews] [interesting] An early review of Mission Impossible 2
[USA Today] [interesting] What if Microsoft hadn't been a bully?
[MSNBC] [interesting] Hurrah! Viagra might help women too
(Wall of Sound) [amusing] KISS apologizes for using the wrong town name at a concert
[Yahoo] ["news"] Metallica names 335,435 Napster-users as copyright violators in lawsuit
(Daily Breeze) [strange] Boy toy of Palos Verdes woman shot by her wheelchair bound brother (there's a few quotes from the victim's brother with very poor grammar)
(NORM) [sick] The National Order for Restoring Men. (ie, how to undo a circumcision)
[LA Times] [amusing] A list of anecdotes of life in LA LA land
[USA Today] [amusing] French language becoming contaminated by e-words
[Excite] [strange] Woman convicted in penile implant fraud
[Excite] [amusing] Prostitutes, dogs found in prison. Contains mention of F.A.R.C as well
[ABC News] [stupid] 'Stinky Tofu' vendor cited for air pollution
May 1, 2000:
(Some Guy) [silly] Surgery for conjoined peeps
[Washington Post] [amusing] Jim Bakker has a new book - I was Wrong (buy a copy by next tuesday so he can put in a swimming pool, or he's going to hell)
(FARK) [amusing] What should be done with Elian? Poll results.
(Reach) [strange] Someone has built a website dedicated to Britney Spears' breasts. No obvious nudity, could be ok for work.
[Excite] [silly] Oaxaca, Mexico tries to construct the world's largest taco
[Excite] [strange] Britain gives government grant to woman to help her lose weight
(The Dog) [silly] How to wash a cat
[Movie Juice] [amusing] MovieJuice review of Frequency (with gratuitous mention of Denise Richards' assets)
[Washington Post] [sick] Iranian couple kill their daughter for getting bad grades
(Boston) [amusing] Woman runs down husband for looking at another woman in church
(Pimpwar) [amusing] Lay the smack down on some biatch in this fun online game. Probably not suitable for work.
(Ficus2000) [amusing] Ficus 2000: elect a potted tree to office instead of a politician
[CNN] [interesting] Great Lakes dropping toward record low levels
[Wired] [strange] US Secret Service in talks with Where's George website owner
(BestToilets) [strange] This website rates the best public toilets
(Potatoes) [silly] Fun potato facts (via RobotWisdom)
[Herald-Leader] [strange] Defendant's banishment from the state of Kentucky may not be enforceable
[CNN] [amusing] NFL star Ray Lewis seen in raunchy video, does nothing to help his murder charge
[CNN] [strange] Time Warner Cable drops ABC in 11 cities over contract dispute
[CapAlert] [amusing] CAP reviews Rules of Engagment. Actually uses the phrase 'potty mouth'
[CapAlert] [amusing] Cap reviews U-571- Goes completely off topic in the last paragraph
(JSOnline) [amusing] Funny story about a runaway bog (?)

You are schmo number ____ to have visited this humble page. We expect to go public next year by the way, so save your money.