[Our Sponsor]

[FARK.com]



To read an article, click on the small icon to the left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.
Today:
[Washington Post] ["news"] You might be able to get a new dollar coin somewhere other than Walmart soon.
(Some Guy) [interesting] Final meal requests for criminals about to be killed
(Some Guy) [interesting] Learn to make lava lamp goo
[CNN] [interesting] California researcher finds a way to mate human cells with electronic chips
[Washington Post] [amusing] Priest poisoned with holy wine
(Free Republic) [strange] Demonic image at democratic debate
(Bloomberg.com) [silly] Ebay won't let man sell his soul
[Washington Post] [amusing] Bill Gates needs to watch his language
[Washington Post] [amusing] Brits to allow cats and dogs on trains now - but they have to have passports
[CNN] [amusing] Sheriff shops for jurors at Wal-Mart
(Globe) [amusing] Tonya Harding arrested for repeatedly punching boyfriend in the face
[CapAlert] [amusing] CAP reviews Pitch Black. Marks off points for 'claims of humans being animals'
[Wired] [interesting] Scientists develop microscope capable of seeing single atoms
[CNN] [misc.] New Orleans cops to Mardi Gras revelers: Cover up
(Webcaskets) [amusing] The Return-to-Sender funeral casket
February 24, 2000:
[Excite] [strange] Man gets hit by a bus, then they bill him for repairs
(Captain Jack) [silly] Talk with Captain Jack
[Washington Post] [strange] More hazards of living in a city -- exploding manholes.
[ABC News] [interesting] American Indians want their giant meteorite back
[CNN] [interesting] Is ramen healthy?
[Washington Post] [interesting] Monkeys use tools to kill a man
[Washington Post] [strange] Here come live funerals broadcast on the web
[CapAlert] [amusing] Holy crap! CAP liked the Tigger Movie!
(Dr. Drew) [misc.] Get 3 condoms for free
[Salon] [amusing] Is Al Gore a goodfella?
[Washington Post] [amusing] Thefts rise along with gas prices
[Fox News] [amusing] NASA denies conducting zero gravity sex tests
[Fox News] [amusing] Sex can make your head explode
[BBC] [sick] Deep fried Mars bar anyone?
[BBC] [strange] Churchman beheads his son's ex-lover
[Washington Post] [interesting] Mayon volcano erupts some more today
(WealthClock) [amusing] The Bill Gates personal wealth clock (via memepool)
(WomenGamers) [amusing] A report on why men play women in computer games. (Reason #7 just shows how sick people are)
(circlemakers) [interesting] Learn how to make crop circles (via USAToday)
(marrytom.com) [sick] Why marry a multi-millionaire when you can marry Tom Arnold (at least he'll date you first...)
[CNN] [strange] Hasbro to market JFK action figures
[Brunching] [amusing] Brunching has some ideas on how to save the 'Who Wants To' concept.
[Brunching] [amusing] Self-Made Critic's Review of 'Boiler Room' - Save an idiot, take them to this movie.
February 23, 2000:
[Washington Post] [sad] the Clintons would like some more help to pay off their $10.5 million legal service debt
[Washington Post] [interesting] Thai scientists have been able to create electricity from elephant dung
[CNN] [stupid] Prescriptions used for treating both humans and animals generally cost humans five times more
[Excite] [sick] And the moral of the story is -- if someone runs in, and asks to borrow a knife -- don't give it to them.
[Excite] [amusing] Potentially bad advertising campaigns -- nude shoppers get $400 in free clothing.
[Excite] ["news"] "Who Wants to Marry a Millionare" wife regrets having done it.
[Washington Post] [interesting] Volcano throws out rocks the size of cars - people still won't move away
[The Onion] [amusing] Least-essential albums of the 90's
[The Onion] [satire] Israelites sue God for breach of covenant
[CNN] [stupid] It's that time of the year again: Darryl Strawberry tests positive for cocaine once more
(IRS) [misc.] Downloadable IRS tax forms
[AintItCoolNews] [interesting] What Kevin Smith (Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma) is up to these days
[ZDNet] [interesting] FBI pulls plug on fake McCain website
[Wired] [interesting] The top 10 engineering accomplishments of the 20th century according to somebody
(X-Men) [satire] The summer movie hype begins with some not-so-subtle political lampooning.
(Megastar) [amusing] Astronauts had sex in space
February 22, 2000:
(US Mint) [stupid] The US Mint has a new program - buy $25, for only $35 plus $3.95 shipping
(CoolPuzzles) [interesting] Test your reaction speed
(Yucky Science) [amusing] Squishy quiz (I got em all right)
(Rivertowns) [amusing] Man charged for having 'fun' with a cow
(Orphanage) [silly] Adopt one of these cast off mascots
(FurniturePorn) [amusing] Furniture porn. Probably safe for office viewing although the word 'porn' might set off some red flags. No nudity. Or people for that matter.
(Brains4Zombies) [silly] Brains, brains, and more brains...
(ZENtertainment) [stupid] Backstreet Boys animated series - God help us all !
(Salt Lake Tribune) [strange] Liquified feces still falling from the sky in Utah.
(Catfood) [amusing] Scratch and sniff on the web - try it!
[Excite] [stupid] Person drills a hole in her head.
(If she had read fark, she'd have known there were people who'd do it for her)
[Excite] [amusing] Obviously, you should think out your plans before hijacking planes in paramilitary areas.
[USA Today] [interesting] Corporate America starting to suspect Y2K was all hype. Let the suing of overpriced consultants begin.
(Personally, I think they should sue the media for creating the panic -- Joe)
[Washington Post] [sick] Pork tongue kills 7 in France
[AintItCoolNews] [stupid] A Clerks animated series
[Scoop This] [amusing] New Dusty the Fat Bitter Cat column
(there's some good news after the wrestling bit... make sure to read pages 4 and 5)
[Excite] [interesting] Sweden halts their version of 'Who wants to be a Millionaire'
[Excite] [amusing] College students can win $10k for having the messiest apartment.
(Some Guy's Page) [amusing] Someone almost as anal as Joe -- a review of the HTML in the presidential candidate web sites.
[AintItCoolNews] [stupid] MPAA removes Cyclops' optic blasts from X-Men movie trailer, says it's not PG behavior
[CNN] [interesting] The Russian Government is monitoring internet traffic inside their country
(But hey, it's easier than trying to find all of the good porn on your own)
(Vulvacious) [strange] The Amazing Vulvabed (read the comments... supposedly, it's good for picking up lesbians)
February 21, 2000:
[CNN] [amusing] Wish we had thought of it first -- combining news with strippers.
[CNN] [sad] Muppets bought by Germans
[BBC] [interesting] Neolithic flute plays again.
(Dallas News) [interesting] Fox cancels re-broadcast of 'Marry a Millionaire' after it learns about groom's shady past.
[CNN] [interesting] 'It's not easy being grün?' German media company buys Jim Henson
[Washington Post] [amusing] Man chains bellydancing son to his bed
[ZDNet] [satire] Computer Stew installs Windows 2000 (Episode 162)
(badfads) [amusing] The Bad Fads museum
(theage.com.au) [strange] French Intelligence agency claims Microsoft was funded by the NSA to spy on computer users. Isn't French Intelligence a contradiction?
[CNN] [misc.] Historians rank the presidents, Clinton ranked as average
February 18, 2000:
[Excite] [misc.] Another state passes anti-spam legislation.
[Yahoo] [amusing] Whoops! Bill Gates says he 'didn't' say that he would release windows source code.
[Brunching] [amusing] Self-Made Critic's Review of 'The Beach'
(Bach) [misc.] Get some free chocolate!
[Salon] [misc.] Review of Pitch Black
[BBC] [interesting] Interesting theory of how the moon was formed
[Washington Post] [silly] Politician loves cheese
[Excite] [amusing] European children are dumbasses just like American kids: 1/4 of all European children think cotton grows on sheep (among other things). [it doesn't? -- Joe]
[Excite] [amusing] No need for our pool. Fox has already announced the follow-up program. (and the Robert Thompson quote is just classic (if you read anything today read this - Drew))
[Washington Post] [interesting] More details on The 7th Portal (Stan Lee's planned cartoon website)
[Excite] [amusing] Swedes decide not to jail a woman, because she's just too fat.
[Excite] [amusing] Israeli comedian finds a new way to offend Christians.
(artbell.com) [interesting] Cool halo-shaped solar mass heading our way, northern lights on the 20th
[Wired] [misc.] Gates says he would consider making Windows open source?
[CNN] [interesting] Hubble reveals violent supernova shockwave
[CNN] [stupid] KY State Senator proposes resolution to erase mention of other religions from American history lessons
February 17, 2000:
(FARK) [satire] Windows 2000 was released today, but we have the source code.
(Discovery) [interesting] How to spot a liar
[Washington Post] [amusing] Airline kicks 4 chickens off a plane - serves chicken for dinner on the flight
(FARK) [survey] In case you missed it: What new show should Fox try next?
[CNN] [misc.] Judge orders woman not to become pregnant for 10 years
(The Times UK) [strange] Eunuchs test their political potency
(Mediatrip.com) [amusing] Original home of 'Swing Blade' as well as 'George Lucas in Love' etc
[AintItCoolNews] [interesting] Simpsons: The Movie
[Wired] [misc.] Microsoft removes all Easter Eggs from Windows 2000
[CNN] [interesting] Vets bemoan glut of overweight cats and dogs
[BBC] [interesting] Scientists may have found why people like loud music. (Indirectly from KML)
[Excite] [stupid] Afghani art gallery reopens after 6 years... without all those 'un-Islamic' pictures in it.
[Excite] [stupid] Stupid things to want to be when you grow up -- a serial killer.
February 16, 2000:
[Movie Juice] [amusing] Moviejuice review of Reindeer Games
[ZDNet] [amusing] Movie trailer... what would happen if the Sling Blade guy met the Swingers crew
[eBay] [strange] Get that Ferrari F-50 you've always wanted. (only $675,000)
[CNN] [stupid] You can throw your underwear without fearing arrest
[eBay] [amusing] Buy Jesse Ventura's porsche
(Derek) [interesting] Derek's (the wal-mart reciept guy) Personal Web Site
(FARK) [survey] After the success of 'Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire', what new shows should we expect on Fox next sweeps period?
(Rectal Foreign Bodies) [sick] In honor of The Onion article posted below, here's another of Drew's favorite sites -- Rectal Foreign Bodies
[USA Today] [strange] Net startup to offer pet cloning (how is this a net company exactly?)
(NYObserver) [interesting] The latest ripoffs from dot-com land include Juno and eToys (via robotwisdom)
[ABC News] [interesting] Egyptians find tomb of ancient god Osiris
[The Onion] [satire] What the hell did I cram in my anus last night
(NY Times) [amusing] Interesting summary of amusing events during the Presidential primaries
(NYT requires regesitration, which is free. In the last year, they've never spammed me -- Joe)
(StarNews.com) [ Unhappy dating service customer demands satisfaction
(Some Guy) [amusing] ACE - Americans for Cloning Elvis - homepage
(Oscar.com) [amusing] Although the 'Best Musical Score' category was removed, South Park still got a nomination for 'Best Original Song' [for 'Blame Canada', unfortunately, not 'Uncle Farker', Drew's favorite song]
[CNN] ["news"] Radiation leak at NYC power plant contained
[Excite] [interesting] The history of lingerie
[Washington Post] [amusing] A reason to clean out your car -- it might affect your chances at getting laid (from Obscure Store)
[Excite] [strange] Man plans to have his wife embalmed, as the city won't let her be buried in their garden.
[Excite] [strange] A cure for the common cold-- shoving wire up your nose.
February 15, 2000:
[Excite] [amusing] It's easier to meet people if you have a dog.
(who will, once properly trained, start up conversations by forcing itself upon them, until they let it sniff their crotch)
(Infospace) [amusing] Build your dream date. (A day late, but still funny)
[Excite] [amusing] A critic's reasoning for the success of 'Riverdance' -- the fascist overtones.
(Some Guy) [amusing] Giant cows in Wisconsin
(Steve) [amusing] Strange Site of the Day: Fark-reader Steve Stadtfeld.
[Fox News] ["news"] David Letterman to go back to work on Friday - new show Monday night
(Some Guy) [amusing] Some great shots of celebs with pens, and bad toupees
[Washington Post] [stupid] More Columbine kids shot
[Fox News] [amusing] Prankster infiltrates online chat with President Clinton
(Some Guy) [amusing] Above-mentioned prankster's website, with transcripts (Clinton: Personally, i would like to see more porn on the Internet)
[Excite] [sappy] Bob Vila, Fred Rogers and Ewan McGregor sketches for sale on eBay. (proceeds to help an elementary school)
[Wired] [interesting] New toys from Toy Fair, including toy pets with downloadable personalities and camera attachments for Lego Mindstorms
[CNN] [strange] Copies of Copernicus' On The Revolution of Heavenly Spheres disappearing around the globe
February 14, 2000:
[CNN] [sappy] British library to display 500-year old valentine letter
(Some Guy) [amusing] The Dumpomatic - generate a letter to dump your boyfriend/girlfriend
(Some Guy) [amusing] Dating pattern analysis
[CNN] [sappy] Judge Goodheart retires after 30 years of marrying couples on Valentines Day
[Washington Post] [amusing] El Nino caused more thunderstorms on the west coast
(PrisonBabes) [strange] If you need a valentine, here are some good ones
(Entertaindom) [amusing] God & the devil have their own show
(FunkyPages) [interesting] Hidden meaning to NYC using Microsofts Wingding font
[Excite] [sad] Charles Schultz dies, 1 day before the last Peanuts is published.
(FunkyPages) [amusing] Cool Illusion (is it Buddha? - Drew)
(FunkyPages) [silly] A true mudders 'chair'
(Some Guy) [amusing] What do Ray Liotta, a worried Santa, and vacation photos have to do with one another? This site provides the answers.
(Web Site) [strange] Non Committal Make Out
[ZDNet] [interesting] Windows 2000 - Anti-Piracy tactics or Big Brother?
(memepool) [amusing] An interesting parody of the Budweiser wazzup commercial (this link downloads a movie)
(NYPost) [stupid] Blair Witch sequel organizers scrambling to find product placement sponsors (via RobotWisdom)
[Movie Juice] [amusing] A movie review that makes you wonder 'So why is Reindeer Games coming out in February, when its plot involves Christmas elements?'
[Excite] [stupid] Jerry Lewis is given an attempt to recover from a stupid remark, and only makes things worse.
[Excite] [amusing] 'Who wants to be a Millionare' insurers complain the show's too easy.
(If you assume the two lifelines are right, and one's 50/50, with just guessing, you have a 1 in 36mil chance of getting $1mil with pure guessing)
[CNN] [strange] Police save goldfish from artistic demise
(JCPenny) [stupid] JCPenney introduces the Internet-ready EZChair (it doesn't even recline?)
(DeathIsComing) [amusing] Just in time for Valentine's Day - Death Is Coming Greeting Cards

You are schmo number ____ to have visited this humble page. We expect to go public next year by the way, so save your money.