[Our Sponsor]

[FARK.com]



To read an article, click on the small icon to the left of the entry. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants.
Today:
[Washington Post] [amusing] Russia raises the price of vodka 30% - to $2.10 per liter
(Some Guy) [sick] Guy gives his cat an enema. Creates web page about it.
[CNN] [amusing] 'Millionaire' contestant uses Rosie O'Donnel as their lifeline in this Sunday's episode
[CNN] [misc.] Ventura to leave the Reform Party
[eBay] [amusing] 12" of snow for sale, buyer must pick up
(Yucky Science) [amusing] Learn why you have stinky armpits
(Yucky Science) [interesting] Turn milk into plastic, make vampire soap, turn a penny green
[eBay] [amusing] Big Mac Belt and buckle
[Washington Post] [strange] In Brazil, you can go topless at the beach, but not in a parade
[Fox News] [strange] 9 year old kids suspended for poking a straw into a picture of a cheerleader
(Some Guy) [satire] Bill Gates for president in 2000 (he can personally pay off the national debt)
[Washington Post] [amusing] Guy gets drunk, tries to get off an airplane, while it is in flight
[Brunching] [amusing] Simple things you can do to save the earth from a giant asteroid.
[Wired] [interesting] Appeals Court rules ConnectiX allowed to make Playstation emulators for the PC
(GeekAndGuru) [amusing] The Sexiest Geek Alive competition. (The questionaire is funny)
[CNN] ["news"] Columbia urges farmers to cultivate cattle, coffee, and cotton instead of drugs. (I bet the farmers are still laughing)
[Excite] [strange] Town near San Francisco may soon be require real estate agents to tell buyers the region has horrible traffic.
(FARK) [sad] A few tributes to Jim Varney: a poem, some transcripts and wav's from Hey Vern, it's my My Family Album, an interview, a fan page, and another fan page
February 10, 2000:
[CNN] [sad] One of the greatest entertainers of all times, Jim Varney is dead
(He was the most famous alumni from Drew's high school.)
[Amazon] [strange] Signs you have way too much time on your hands -- you've written a book on fisting.
(THe AGE) [silly] Man caught trying to smuggle 31 lizards in his underwear ( bet that felt weird)
(Some Chick) [amusing] Tutorial for the beginning stalker
(Rediff) [amusing] Candidates in the Indian state of Karnataka must prove they have a toilet if they are to contest the gram panchayat (local council) elections.
[Movie Juice] [amusing] MovieJuice review of The Beach
[Washington Post] [amusing] Vote for 'None of the above'
(Star Tribune) [stupid] Court allows Northwest Airlines to search employees HOME computers for information on who organized a sick-out
(Variety) [interesting] Sonnenfeld gets approval for Tick Live Action pilot
(Discovery) [sick] Animal mummies.
[Brunching] [amusing] Self-Made Critic's Review of 'Scream 3'
[Excite] [amusing] Hugging banned in town schools
[CNN] [stupid] The state of New York says Martha Stewart owes them $220k in back taxes.
[Excite] [strange] Strand of JFK's hair sells for $800
[ABC News] [strange] 90 year old witch kidnaps boys to turn them into Zombie slaves
(New Scientist) [interesting] Roman statue head from 200AD found in Mexico in 1510? (via robotwisdon)
[CNN] [sick] Doctor who carved his initials on patient arrested on assault charges
February 9, 2000:
(Oregon Live) [silly] Columnist uses influenza warfare on hapless Republicans
[LA Times] [amusing] Woman does a *lot* of research to get out of a ticket
[LA Times] [silly] Mountain lion leaps through a woman's bedroom window
[Wired] [interesting] Cisco systems now 2nd most valuable company in the world
(TheShowerProject) [amusing] After his friends think he's acting gay to pick up chicks, he decides to try to shower with 100 women by the end of 1999, and succeeds. (contains out-of-focus nudity, don't look at this from work)
[CNN] [sad] Doug Henning (that anorexic hippie magician from the '70s) died yesterday.
[USA Today] [sad] Last 'Peanuts' comic strip on Sunday
[Excite] [stupid] Next Star Wars movie to be more politically correct
[Excite] [amusing] Therapy chicken helps abused children overcome fear (this is not a recipe)
[Fox News] [interesting] British isle is close to resurfacing
[Washington Post] [amusing] Woman proposes marriage over a grocery store PA
(Nando Times) [amusing] Woman jailed for not turning off her cell phone while in court.
[The Onion] [satire] What do you think? The Bank of Wal-Mart
[The Onion] [satire] NFL star thanks Jesus after successful double homicide
[CNN] [strange] Man tells police his daughter is in his stolen car to get them to look for it. He has no daughter. They did find his car.
[Salon] [amusing] Dope Wars: the game of being a drug dealer
(NYTimes) [interesting] Africa is overdue for a mega-drought, lasting possibly 100 years or more
[CNN] [misc.] Teacher barred for calling Hitler 'cool'
February 8, 2000:
(Some Guy) [amusing] Play the Old Testament text game (ooooh! the boils!)
[eBay] [amusing] 850 feet of pixie stick sugar
(DumbLaws) [amusing] A comprehensive listing of strange laws in the US
(Some Guy) [interesting] how to build a sparkler bomb
(survivalnet.org) [amusing] Survivalist humor
(Spork.org) [amusing] The official spork page (learn to foon!)
[Washington Post] [interesting] 5 year old disctracts crocodile so his 8 year old sister can get away
[Washington Post] [amusing] New asteroid to possibly hit the earth in 2022
[CapAlert] [silly] CAP reviews Scream 3. Also claims his movie review technique was invented by God
[Scoop This] [satire] WWF to form the XSA (X-treme States of America), as the USA is too boring.
(Independent) [strange] Doctors seek volunteers for a hole in the head
[Washington Post] [stupid] It's still legal to have guns on school property in Virginia.
[Excite] [misc.] Pessimists die before optimists. (Had I been an optimist, I would have said 'Optimists live longer than pessimists' - Joe)
[MSNBC] [interesting] There's talk of a 'Lone Gunmen' spinoff from X-Files.
[Excite] [sick] Places to not get into a fight : Papau New Guinea
[Excite] [sad] Berlin officials ban alcohol sales at its main stadium
February 7, 2000:
(Hubble) [amusing] A better picture of the Keyhole Nebula, which looks strangely like God giving you the finger
[CNN] [amusing] David Duke considers supporting Buchanan for President. Would this help or hurt him?
(Some Guy) [sick] Nasal passage cleaner
(Emode) [amusing] Test: what kind of dog are you?
[Movie Juice] [amusing] Moviejuice review of Scream 3
[Washington Post] [interesting] So, what are the uses of usenet? (besides warez, porn, and spam)
[C|Net] [amusing] The IPOs expected to suck this week. (And one even advertised at the superbowl)
[Excite] [stupid] Man tries to kill his family because they don't like his girlfriend. (and he violated the 'Holy Ground' rule.)
(Some Guy) [strange] The Force is a tool of Satan
[BBC] [interesting] The keyhole nebula, which looks strangely like God giving you the finger.
[BBC] [amusing] 'Weed' turns feminist on British children's programming
[AintItCoolNews] [interesting] Anakin Skywalker to be played by a complete unknown?
[CNN] [stupid] Sicilian town school opens new Saddam Hussein Auditorium
February 4, 2000:
[Excite] [amusing] Japan to enact laws against platform shoes. (they need to ban flairs too)
[LA Times] [sick] Man rescued from trunk of his burning car
[Brunching] [amusing] What if you dated Voltaire?
[CNN] [stupid] El Nino linked to rise in diarrhea
[Washington Post] [strange] Millions of 10' long worms living in the Gulf of Mexico
(Some Guy) [amusing] Name your baby Shite
(Some Guy) [amusing] Name your baby JackDaniels
(Some Guy) [amusing] More weird baby names: Jerk
(GlobalTV) [amusing] Canadians attempt to enter the Guiness World Record books for ... what else? Playing hockey non-stop for 72 hours.
(Fark) [silly] Urgh.. thought Fark as a childs name was silly? Call your new bundle of joy Retard!
[CNN] [amusing] WWF creates new football league. Promised to be 'all sport'. Try not to laugh too hard *snicker*
[CNN] [interesting] A Golden Year of the Dragon starts this week on the Chinese calendar
(Tripping) [amusing] Tripping the Rift: the next South Park. (Contains some adult themes, so don't download if you're under 18 or at work))
(some guy) [amusing] Confused about what your alignment would be, in RPG terms? This may solve the problem.
February 3, 2000:
(Some Guy) [amusing] On-line fortune cookies with an attitude
[Yahoo] [amusing] New trick to smuggle heroin - embroider it into a rug
[Washington Post] [stupid] Guide to suicide - on Oregon TV
[Excite] [amusing] Indian chief gets a finger bitten off by an alligator
[Washington Post] [amusing] Bengal tiger 1, Employees 0
[BBC] [interesting] Tired of the asteroid scares? Try a supervolcano scare - we have one overdue in the US
[CNN] [strange] Man arrested for stealing porta-potties
[CNN] [stupid] Abba refuses one billion dollar reunion offer
(StarNews.com) [sad] Guard discharges weapon prematurely, on himself
[CNN] [amusing] Bordello suing for right to open a branch in Amsterdam Airport
(USPatents) [strange] An actual patent for a talking Jesus doll
(Kabalarians) [silly] Why you should name your next child 'fark'.
[Washington Post] [amusing] Pope blesses Vatican parking lot ("God's Garage")
[Wired] [stupid] Amazon posts $180 million loss, shares rise on the news
[BBC] [interesting] Prostitutes gear up for the Olympics in Sydney
[USA Today] [amusing] Doomsayers move from Y2K to the 5th of May
[CNN] [interesting] Chocolate may be healthy
February 2, 2000:
[The Onion] [satire] What do you think? The war in Chechnya
(Waco News) [stupid] Ranch in texas get's shelled by army (think this has anything to do with defense cutbacks?)
(JustBalls) [strange] Justballs.com (it's a sporting good store, not an adult site)
[Washington Post] [stupid] Today is the first even numbered date in over 1100 years
(Some Guy) [strange] Thrift store paintings
[Fox News] [amusing] Police track snowblower thief
[BBC] [amusing] Kangaroo crash test dummies
[Excite] [sad] Maude Flanders to be killed off on Simpsons
[Excite] [amusing] Police attempt to finish botched robbery
[The Onion] [satire] Local prostitutes eagerly await dental convention
[Salon] [amusing] Friends don't let friends use AOL
(Some Guy) [amusing] Star Trek = Satan Trek. Bet the guy who owns this site knows CAP
[Brunching] [satire] Test: vote on the following names, are they porn stars or My Little Ponies?
(SomeGuy) [stupid] My Little Pony is a Whore! (Brought to you by the Satan Trek guy)
[Brunching] [amusing] Self-Made Critic's Review of 'Eye of the Beholder'
[Excite] [amusing] If you were in the Canada, you could vote for the CCRAP party.
[AintItCoolNews] [interesting] Disney changes the name of its new animated film from Empire of the Sun to the Emperor's New Groove. Sounds stupid, but here's how it happened, by a Disney insider
[USA Today] [interesting] AOL sued over its destructive 5.0 browser
[CNN] [interesting] ABC is crushing the competition in the ratings war
[CNN] [amusing] Groundhog sees shadow
(MSN) [amusing] The Brit Awards, Britain's version of the Grammys, gives the Spice Girls a lifetime achievement award.
[CNN] [misc.] 45 nations in arrears on UN dues lose their voting rights.
February 1, 2000:
[Washington Post] [stupid] The US Capitol building doesn't pass fire codes - they need 14 years to fix it
[Wired] [interesting] Computer modelling predicts the AIDS virus originated in the 1930s
[Wired] [interesting] Being cranky and paranoid can have negative impact on your health
[Brunching] [amusing] Satan on Punctuation
(The Journal) [silly] Woman gets stuck in the john literaly.
(Some guy) [strange] Serachable Kool-Aid packet photo archive (via MisterPants)
[CNN] [interesting] Alterna-meat, the wave of the future.
[BBC] [ Health warnings on alcohol in England? *gasp*
[BBC] [interesting] Beer, and why it makes you pass out. Great article title too.
(freep) [sad] Man uses inards in an attempt to escape from police (this is really gross)
(DIRK) [amusing] A wierd little word association thingee
[eBay] [strange] Bizarre head ashtray
January 31, 2000:
(Mullets) [amusing] Mullets Galore: a protest site against guys with short hair all over but long in the back
(NandoTimes) [amusing] Woman arrested for receiving a call on her cell phone
(AdCritic) [amusing] For those who didn't watch the Superbowl last night, here's some of the commercials to download.
[CNN] [strange] 8th grades use super-glue surgery to save pet tarantula after brutal fall
[CNN] [interesting] Illinois suspends the Death Penalty, citing having freed more prisoners (13) than it has executed (12) as a potential flaw in the system
[Excite] [amusing] NYC pulls plug on city-sponsored Welfare-To-Work job placements with Psychic Friends
(Slate) [interesting] How the Internet has affected the escort-service industry
[Excite] [silly] eCemetary
[Excite] [amusing] Bush has been fumbling a few phrases here and there, to hilarious effect
(KCStar) [strange] Catholic priests die from AIDS at a rate four times greater than the general public
(Some Guy) [strange] Home page of the International Ghost Hunter Society
(Nerds.net) [amusing] Play Connect 4 on the web
(Altavista) [sick] Contaminated bean dip causing illnesses in California
[Brunching] [amusing] If poems were made into crowd-pleasing movies
(Some Guy) [amusing] Catproof your computer with PawSense
[BBC] [amusing] Legos and Monopoly are tops in the UK
[Scoop This] [satire] The WWF Superbowl ad that ABC censored
[Brunching] [amusing] An interesting stock tip heard in a fancy New York bistro.
[Brunching] [amusing] The Uncensored review of 'The Insider' by the Self-Made Critic
[Washington Post] [stupid] Kids throw a lit lighter into a tank of gas that they are standing on
[CNN] [stupid] Robbery suspect writes stickup note on personal check
January 30, 2000:
(GreenMagazine) [silly] An interview with Emo Philips. It's worth a read just for the gazelle quote.
(YETI@home) [satire] The Search for Yeti... (Humorous, but as parody sites go, it's not quite RealHamster)
(Daze of Our Lives) [amusing] State of the Art 19th Century humor: Adding captions to woodcuts from the 1800's
(ForgetMeNot) [strange] The results when obsessive compulsives become inventors

You are schmo number ____ to have visited this humble page. We expect to go public next year by the way, so save your money.