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Sun September 02, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pakistani authorities arrest Imam for planting burned Koran pages on Christian girl accused of blasphemy-causing the Imam's followers to demand the girl be punished for getting the Imam in trouble
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(384)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News reveals how to make a Wendy's Frosty at home (w/recipe)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(North Jersey)
 
 
 
Today's teacher sex scandal brought to you by Essex County, New Jersey, where 33-year-old Teacher of the Year assaulted her 15-year-old male honor student for three horrible months. Oh yeah, he was honor
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Even in Antarctica you are not safe from British cooking. Station chef at British base talks about making sure the Marmite and HP Sauce will last the winter
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(The State)
 
 
 
♫ And I would walk five hundred miles, and I would walk five hundred more, just to be the dog who wal... SQUIRREL
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Vote Vermin Supreme in 2012 - He'll go back in time and kill baby Hitler with his bare hands
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Imgur)
 
 
 
Photoshop this LAN party
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Is this the ugliest mansion in America? The 'gas station' home in Lake Success is on the market for $5.88M
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
After finally figuring out that cowering in a corner does very little to stop a bullet, school administrators and police in Alabama are now training teachers and students to actively fight back against a school shooter
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Not news: Army medic cares for his men. Still not news: A Korean war vet. Fark: In a nursing home, more than 60 years later
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Less than a year after opening, the 9/11 memorial is treated "like a Disney attraction" by tourists who spill coffee on names of the dead and sit on memorial plaques. Never forget
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(248)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Teenage sexual assault victim told by chief prosecutor that her assault wasn't "rape rape" so she should get over it and see a therapist
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(428)
 
(A Pacific Giant)
 
 
 
Photoshop this orange octopus
source: clione.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Goodnight, Moon
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Pilot in Soviet-era Czech L-39 military training jet executes perfect one-point landing at Iowa air show
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mountain Rescue called out to find same family on two successive nights: "It is rare for team members to become angry or frustrated with our casualties, but this was one of those occasions"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Tufts, Vanguard to form new health plan with the help of an $88million federal loan and four robotic lions
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Chicago Trib)
 
 
 
Archivist discovers several unpublished photos of Al Capone in Chicago Tribune vault, along with a pile of dirt and empty bathtub gin bottles
source: galleries.apps.chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Apparently, August 2012 was a Farking great month for UFO videos
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Soooo, what you're saying is "don't put cans of Coke in the freezer"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sole winner of $337M Powerball prize vows to remain obese & pissed off at paying taxes
source: news.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(222)
 
(KSL Salt Lake City)
 
 
 
Cop pulls over guy for DUI, calls for backup. Second cop arrives and gets to make his own DUI arrest when another drunk plows into patrol cars
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
We take 90s pop music seriously in Canada
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
We're going to need a bigger boot
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Afghan army recruits will no longer be trained to kill Americans. Dick Cheney seen unloading his Halliburton stock, shooting his broker in the face
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Police end their search for body parts after finding only one torso floating in the river. And it wasn't even the torso they were looking for
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
US may begin deporting hockey fans back to Canada, where they belong
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Times Herald-Record)
 
 
 
New York: Pay me. Citizen: But my place burned down. New York: Pay me because FARK YOU, that's why. Citizen: Okay, here's the keys. Good luck selling it
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mixed drink
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Melting glacier reveals World War I ammunition; no sightings of "Central Powers" zombies reported...yet
source: photoblog.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Chicago Public Library's amnesty day prompts the return of their 78 year overdue copy of 'The Picture of Dorian Gray'. Still no word on Tropic of Cancer
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
The difference between frying and baking a chicken: A good old fashion family beat down (w/video)
source: pittsburgh.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Class reunion letter lists 'white graduates only' party; reports indicate it will not be a black tie affair
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(469)
 
(Mental Floss)
 
 
 
Mental Floss tells us how to be beautiful 19th century style
source: mentalfloss.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Verbally servicing an interlocutor for the purpose of sexual excitement does not constitute a sexual service, if it does not involve the bodily erogenous zones of the person who is getting paid for such a service," the criminal court ruled
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Your News Now)
 
 
 
New York State Fair offers multiple variations of vegetarian fair food, misses the entire point of fair food: "You can opt to leave off the bacon, and get a delicious baked potato for just $1"
source: centralny.ynn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(some soosh)
 
 
 
Live from Alaska's soggy capital city, it's Livingston Stapler Co Presents. Two hours of music on public radio hosted by a TFer. LGT stream or look for KRNN on tunein.com
source: krnn.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 


Sat September 01, 2012
(NPR)
 
 
 
Copenhagen's new bike highways estimated to save the city $60 million/year in health care costs. I bet it'd be more if they didn't chew so much tobacco
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
It's got to be pretty embarrassing when you're a hot shot in the Army's elite Golden Knights parachute squad and you need to be rescued by the Coast Guard. "Hope he enjoyed the boat ride"
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Are Charter Schools the answer to the American education crisis? Short answer: no. Long answer: No
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this surprised senator
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
If you are in La Jolla this weekend, and see dozens and dozens of leopard sharks swimming next to you, DO NOT PANIC AND IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIFE, DO NOT SHOW FEAR. I SAID DO NOT PANIC
source: utsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The real battle of Michigan's soul is over swine
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
A stowaway kitten who survived a three-week ocean voyage from China to California trapped in a storage container without food or water has found a new home just in time for this bonus Caturday thread
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass slide show to end all ugly-ass slide shows. Prepare to die of awwwww
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Investigators are checking into Dr. Yourgonnadie's records to see if it's time for you to panic
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: All the good bar names are taken, or are they?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Five American beers for your Labor Day BBQ. Can we have a BEER tab?
source: bites.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like. Like
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hungary quickly becoming the Mississippi of Europe
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Cure for cancer found. Still no cure for ... oh wait
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
Breaking News: People are uploading sexually suggestive pictures onto Instagram and there's nothing anybody can do about it
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
German pharmaceutical company Grunenthal Group finally apologizes to the children of Thalidomide, but still denies involvement in Buddy Holly, Ben Hur, space monkeys, mafia, hula hoops and Castro
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Recent forceful arrests could harm goodwill toward LAPD. Wait, people had goodwill toward the LAPD?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
Drunk man picks a fight on a downtown street which ends up with him picking a fight at the local jail which ends up with him picking a fight at the local hospital
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(KVUE Austin)
 
 
 
Hipster robs Portland bank, makes bank-robbing cool again
source: kvue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Don't bring a meat cleaver to a screwdriver and beer stein fight
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Here Are Parts Of The Aircraft Carrier USS Intrepid They Don't Show To The Public*. (*) UPDATE: Unfortunately the Intrepid folks called and asked that we remove all photos of the ship that aren't included in the public tour
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Bellingham Herald)
 
 
 
Pilot can't make it to the airport because he can't get fuel to the plane's engine. See if you can guess where he ended up
source: bellinghamherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
Hey hipsters-- that hookah you puff away on is way worse for you than normal cigarettes
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Shorpy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ready rig
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If you're going to claim hundreds of thousands of dollars in worker's comp because you say you're confined to a wheelchair, don't let anyone take pictures of you jumping off the diving board at a pool party
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The death of the Vatican's Cardinal Martini has reportedly left many Catholics feeling shaken, stirred
source: religion.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
She smelled gas and insisted the men get away from the basement.The men, both carrying lit cigarettes, walked back toward the building. As soon as they touched that sidewalk - boom
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
40,000 kids in 2010 treated for battery ingestion, which explains the rising number of kids who are bipolar
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Remember the cruise line getting sued because the captain ignored passenger who saw fishing boat in distress? Well maybe not. Bonus- passenger that saw the fishing boat named Gilligan
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(New Haven Register)
 
 
 
Thanks to some brave humans Gravel the cat has been rescued from 30 feet up a tree where he has been stuck since last Caturday. He is ready to spend this Caturday on terra firma
source: nhregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1007)
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Soon-to-be MILF's strut their stuff at 8th annual Pregnant Bikini Contest (Not safe for work)
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
Man who made international headlines after a fire cracker explodes between his butt cheeks won't face criminal charges because a judge rules he's suffered enough. Sometimes justice truly is just
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Today)
 
 
 
Parents outsource the task of teaching their children how to ride a bike. But isn't it expensive to send kids to India or China just to learn how to ride a bike?
source: moms.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Reminder: Fark Party at Dragon*Con. Hilton Bar, Saturday @ 6:00 p.m
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Dragon*Con Fark Party - Labor Day weekend
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Nobody expects the Spanish conflagration
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
New Jersey teen dies after sticking his head out of party bus. And that's why you should have believed your mother when she told you something like this would happen if you didn't sit down
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Police admit to infiltrating Occupy Austin, may have acted as provocateurs to get protesters to commit a felony
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In India, there are dorms full of impoverished women serving as surrogates for rich westerners. For $30,000 a couple can send their sperm and egg to a clinic in India, and their child will develop inside a woman that they will never meet
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mormon church clarifies its position on important doctrinal matter, confirming publicly for the first time that although coffee and tea are still evil, it's okay to drink Coke, Pepsi, and even Mountain Dew
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Memphis Commercial Appeal)
 
 
 
In a move surely not intended to troll FARK's DUI White Knights, and piss on the United States Constitution, Tennessee cops announce "No Refusal" Roadblock, complete with roadside judge to authorize blood draws
source: commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(247)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Italian woman signs "sexual bondage" contract, decides seven years later that she doesn't like it anymore, so she's suing. Bonus LOL: their safeword was "Mario"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Wisconsin Gazette)
 
 
 
Prince Harry is still getting a lot of naked love from his fans - 32,000 near-naked pictures' worth of adulation at last count
source: wisconsingazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
One tiny spider found on huge airplane? That'll be $80,000 please. "I just feel that they are not checking those planes like they are supposed to, I tell everybody who's flying, especially flying Delta, spray yourself down and check under the seats"
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The most expensive and cheapest places to live in America. Mom's basement: PRICELESS
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Business Insider)
 
 
 
Seventeen things that make you dumber. Eighteen if you make it through the slideshow
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 


Fri August 31, 2012
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Seattle's Best to start serving a bacon coffee on days that aren't April 1st
source: foodbeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
England criminalizes squatting. Deadlifting still okay... for now
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Researchers shocked, SHOCKED to find that working moms spend less time cooking
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Despite just suffering from a massive earthquake, Philippine writer still manages to submit an article on how to stop porn addiction, as if that's a bad thing
source: ph.she.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Montana Standard)
 
 
 
Nightmare fuel, Montana style
source: mtstandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(Huffington Post Canada)
 
 
 
Relax everyone: the meat and bones found inside children's running shoes on a Vancouver Island beach aren't human
source: huffingtonpost.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Photoshop this paramilitary policeman
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Meet one Robert Wheeler. Let it be known that if you forget his garlic knots when you deliver his pizza order, he might just get a little face punchy on you. With mugshot goodness
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
If you're going to bootleg whiskey, it's probably not a good idea to be the president and CEO of the Liquor Group LLC
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dude walks in to 7-11 with a gun to hold up the place while his partner throws a firecracker in the door, startling robber #1, who then, scared, runs out the door. DAMN MAN, WE SHOULDA REHEARSED THAT
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
400lb lava-rock gorilla statue stolen, shot at, and returned to owner. Just another day in Pennsylvania
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Now here's a story with a happy ending
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(The Eastsider LA)
 
 
 
Three guys caught in someone's house: "No no, we weren't breaking in We're just... um... real estate agents. Yeah, that's the ticket." LAPD: "Seems legit"
source: theeastsiderla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Clear your desks, it's time for that Fark quiz thingy again
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
In the battle of strange weapons, a hammer stapler defeats a pair of pruning shears every time
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Man complains to police that price he agreed to pay for prostitution services had increased unexpectedly. IT'S A TRICK
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Since last Thursday, at least 82 people have been wounded or killed in shootings in Afghanistan. Oops, I mean Chicago
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(372)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fashion magazines are Photoshopping curvy cover models to make them... bigger
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Augusta Chronicle)
 
 
 
Even armed robbers are feeling the pain of a down economy. Gunman who ordered two men walking down the street to empty their pockets got away with.......12 cents
source: chronicle.augusta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
College baseball star arrested for felony possession of a weapon on school property. Fark: The weapon was a baseball bat
source: blogs.ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(apan Today)
 
 
 
Passenger jet divebombed and nearly flipped in midair after copilot tried to let pilot in from toilet run, mistook command button for cockpit-door unlock button. Shouldn't have had the fish
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
We have heard of many elaborate art heists that failed, but here are four simple ones that were successful
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cattle competition
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Curbed)
 
 
 
A photo gallery of Earth's first spaceport
source: curbed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Love Diet Pepsi, but hate how aspartame loses its sweetness so quickly and has such high susceptibility to heat? No worries, the company is testing acesulfame-potassium as a replacement. Mmmmm, acesulfame-potassium
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
I now pronounce you man and wife and wife
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
Judge: "I am satisfied beyond a reasonable doubt that he intended to kill the victim." Victim was stabbed 104 times
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Scientists have figured out that Internet addiction is hereditary. So if you or anyone in your family have the Internet shakes, please seek help
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Teacher and mum-of-two sobs as she pleads guilty to 16 charges of giving sexual favors to a few young lads. "Tissues, your honor, tissues. I was wrong. I should not have diddled them"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Moscow to spend $20 million in one day on "meteorological defense"
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Norwalk Reflector)
 
 
 
Man arrested on two counts of being a total asshat
source: norwalkreflector.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(The Eagle Tribune)
 
 
 
Hey, you got your bullet in my peanut butter
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Daily Finance)
 
 
 
Good news for all you Charles Dickens fans out there: Debtors' prisons are making a comeback
source: dailyfinance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Here's to you, lady who blasts "Highway to Hell" at one in the morning with the speakers pointing out the door. Here's to your four arrests in 26 hours, and to the frying pan you threw at your nephew's head
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Derf Magazine)
 
 
 
"One minute I'm typing an order into the computer, the next minute there is a thunderous noise, the building shakes, and the face of Jesus is pressed staring at me through my drive thru window"
source: derfmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Zee News India)
 
 
 
Up for auction: pre-production story boards from the faked Moon landing
source: zeenews.india.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
How awesome is the USA? So awesome that we need six 1000 megawatt power plants and spend $3billion a year just to illuminate the goddamn exit signs in our commercial buildings. Suck on THAT China
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(NewsChannel 5 Nashville)
 
 
 
Five firefighters fornicate; face firing
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Mandatory)
 
 
 
"I bet kangaroos get drunk and find some ridiculous shiat in their pouches in the morning" and the rest of this week's funniest tweets
source: mandatory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Myrtle Beach Online)
 
 
 
Man wants to prove he's more convincing than movie actor who holds gun to his head and pulls trigger. Problem is, his gun was loaded
source: myrtlebeachonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Tan Mom's hubby admits he's a little embarrassed about about her drunken nightclub appearance. WOAH, someone is married to this?
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
What lessons can we learn from Detroit? Obey the Don't Walk sign, don't run into moving vehicles, and don't bring a bike to a gunfight
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The Mirror's 3am Online has a new obsession - and it's called the face juggler. Be afraid, so very afraid
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Parents concerned about impact of school bus stop placed between a liquor store and strip club. "She said she wanted to be a stripper, same thing they're doing over there. She said she wanted to get money"
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
"Hi, welcome to Newfoundland, show me your pyjamas"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A long-term study shows that bears will not attack a menstruating woman, but that a menstruating woman will attack damn near anything
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Hate telemarketers? At least yours didn't threaten to blow up your house
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
The four scariest words you'll read today: "Killer clown home invasion"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
If you get away with murdering a police officer and the friend riding along on patrol with him, you probably shouldn't post crime scene photos of the victims on facebook. Or put them up on a big billboard on your property. Just sayin'
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Pleated Jeans)
 
 
 
"I pooped by the elliptical machine"
source: pleated-jeans.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Tsunami warnings issued after 7.6 quake strikes off Philippines. Followup: Tsunami warning has been cancelled
source: worldnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Sadly our Paralympian in the high jump isn't expected to match his personal best. But I hear it doesn't count as it was 'Taliban assisted.'" Not everyone found this joke amusing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(WYFF 4 Greenville)
 
 
 
Before getting high by huffing keyboard cleaner, it really is best to pull over first
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Mother's Day is always going to be awkward after you leave your child alone in the park with a couple of strangers for hours while you whore your body outside a liquor in order to fulfill your sexual rage (mugshot)
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Despite excellent grades and references, and acceptance and scholarships to several other schools, one of the graduate schools that Aurora theater shooter applied to responded with "not only no, but HELL no"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Stylist)
 
 
 
Wow your date with these 'body part' cocktails. Charred Remains anyone?
source: stylist.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Kare11)
 
 
 
School bus driver teaches kid what will happen if she doesn't stay in school
source: kare11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
'No zero' marking policies across North America can all be traced back to one study conducted on 6 special ed students 20 years ago
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(Kitsap Sun)
 
 
 
You're the type of guy who gives both smokers and panhandlers a bad name if you rip off your shirt and try to fight a stranger after he won't give you a cigarette
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Short List)
 
 
 
The chocolate eclair hot dog is a thing. And there's nothing we can do to stop it
source: shortlist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
125 students in Harvard "Introduction to Congress" class are under investigation for cheating and plagiarism; students face expulsion and lucrative patronage jobs if found guilty
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
If you picked New Jersey as the location of the next mass shooting, come up and claim your prize. Several dead, including the shooter, after a "shootout" in a supermarket
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(410)
 
(News Leader)
 
 
 
Mother rushes to snowflake's defense after he shines laser into eyes of police officer. Wonders why the police officer didn't want to see the kid's Air Force enlistment papers at the scene
source: newsleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
While you were obsessing over the symbolism of the RNC balloon-drop and how it might affect likely voters 35-54, Iran's pretty much finished what it needs to do to produce nuclear fuel
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wild haying work
source: msnbcmedia2.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Courier Mail)
 
 
 
Five-year-old regrets getting two henna dragon tattoos during a bender in Bali
source: couriermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
"Sex education" father is about to learn all about anal
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Adelaide Now)
 
 
 
They're going to have to pry my Sidewinder missile from my cold dead hands
source: adelaidenow.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The police easily identified the 4 a.m. arsonist at the car dealership. When they arrived, he was sitting in a car adjacent to the one on fire and calmly eating from a jar of peanut butter
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Witnesses to 34 murders by police charged with murder. No, there is no comma missing in this headline
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Thieves break into Quebec warehouse and steal $30M worth of... maple syrup. Geez Canada, even your crimes are adorable
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
The Catholic Register doesn't understand how Google cache works as it tries to distance itself from 'The youngster is the seducer' Priest
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I, for one, welcome our hungry caterpillar overlords
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Belfast Telegraph)
 
 
 
Videocameras to be installed in Derry taxis to protect drivers from false rape allegations -- "A lot of drivers will not work at night because of fears of being attacked but the biggest fear is of being falsely accused of rape"
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Panoramas.dk)
 
 
 
First full-color scrollable panorama view from Curiosity. Pure awesome
source: panoramas.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The U.S. State Department tells employees to stop using common phrases such as "hold down the fort" and "rule of thumb" because they are culturally and racially insensitive
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(209)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
"Later, during intercourse, he had 'significant pain and observed a large quantity of blood squirting out of his penis onto the sheets, walls and mirror'"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(Hume Weekly (Australia))
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're going to have a team building exercise where senior executives don penis aprons and simulate sex with a toy donkey, don't try to blame it on one of your contractors
source: humeweekly.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 


Thu August 30, 2012
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Man creates 46 foot long horseshoe crab statue to be used as artificial reef and to baffle the hell out of future archeologists
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Want to buy 40 year old cheddar cheese? Now you can from this closing cheese store in Wisconsin
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Better late than never, it's this week's Fark Food Discussion thread. This week's Labor Day topic: salads and side dishes for cookouts, BBQs and picnics
source: southernliving.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Medical examiner, examine thyself
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Large "weird looking" white blob discovered in yard proclaimed to be mushroom and not, as first believed, Newt Gingrich
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Boston.com)
 
 
 
Not news: 31 year old goes missing from family home. News: Turns up a month later. Fark: 1000 feet away. Not news again: Turtle
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(US News)
 
 
 
Fwd:Fwd:Fwd:Fwd:Fwd: Why some people believe anything
source: health.usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sand sculpture
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Republican National Convention final night: Clint Eastwood, Hologram Reagan, and some guy named Mitt. It's your Fark convention viewing thread
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(π)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
After 5-year old son with a penchant for wearing dresses and skirts is picked on at school, father dons women's clothing in solidarity. "Long skirts with elasticated waistbands suit me quite well anyway"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(444)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Do vegetarians and vegans think they're better than you because they don't eat meat? Well, of course they do. But why? NPR is there
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(399)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Caption this pic of John McCain that currently seems to appear on the sidebar of every one of today's Fark threads (now with proper link and proper tag)
source: cdn.ph.upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this campaign cue
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Pantagraph)
 
 
 
Bacon truck overturns leading to the tragic loss of 40,000 pounds of deliciousness. A moment of silence, if you please
source: pantagraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Words you would not expect to see in an election year: dung shortage
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
The pageant of life: Man Pushes Teenager Off Lawnmower, Tebows, Drives Off
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Police called to flush out drunken participants in toilet fight
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Sun News Network)
 
 
 
What would happen if Harvey Dent and Catwoman teamed up? Find out right meow
source: sunnewsnetwork.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Turns out, the Midwest is contagious
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(CBS San Francisco)
 
 
 
That driver really wanted her slurpee
source: sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Boy finds $63000 chunk of whale puke beach combing. All I ever got was some soggy cigarette butts, and used feminine applicators
source: cosmiclog.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
"Police said he had eaten parts of the cat, while some of its other internal organs were kept in a cooler." With mugshot...goodness?
source: usnews.nbcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The Chairman of Samsung owns a car that was stolen in 1977. Doesn't look like it was taken from Apple
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fat British lady on Disney vacation gets reality check: "If I'm considered fat in America, I really must be"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(CNNGo)
 
 
 
Dōmo Arigatō Misutā Christo
source: cnngo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Argentine city plans to start mass shootings of seagulls-because they are EATING THE LOCAL WHALES
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Rocketnews 24)
 
 
 
Japan throws us a curveball by hosting a "Breast-Squeezing Fundraiser" that has nothing to do with tentacles or pubescent school girls (NSFW)
source: en.rocketnews24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
There's a new captain aboard the cargo ship Adromeda Leader now docked at Port Newark. Ship to set sail after a quick psychiatric evaluation
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Could internet porn be changing the very nature of humanity?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(232)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Lingerie Football League player tells women not to dress like whores (with Lingerie Football pic)
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(Bangor Daily News)
 
 
 
Fifth-grader wins national Olive Garden essay contest, is punished with $125 gift certificate to Olive Garden
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The beatings will continue until morale improves
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when baggage handlers remove the sex toy from your luggage, cover it with grease and tape it to the top of your bag?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chicago father chases down sicko that tried to kidnap his two-year-old daughter on foot. Cubs immediately sign him for the outfield
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(WOAI San Antonio)
 
 
 
Politician did not survive the donkey show
source: woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Amazonian community wiped out by gold hunters. This is not a repeat from 1520
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
This story has it all: firemen wearing body armor, a cow stuck in a tree and a happy ending
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(New Jersey 101.5)
 
 
 
Okay, whose brilliant idea was it to put the zip line over the lion pit at the safari?
source: nj1015.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(KSEE 24 Fresno)
 
 
 
Shotgun-wielding mom saves her little girl from masked kidnapper, proving that America's obsession with firearms is AWESOME
source: ksee24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(306)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Church, in trouble with zoning officials because their electronic sign changes more than twice in a 24-hour period, says that god would want their sign to change more frequently and is suing for religious discrimination
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Billionaire: "If you're jealous of those with more money, don't just sit there and complain; do something to make more money yourself - spend less time drinking, or smoking and socialising, and more time working"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(440)
 
(WTKR)
 
 
 
Next time, maybe wait until you've removed the propane tanks from your vehicle before lighting that cigarette
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(RamblingBeachCat.com)
 
 
 
Stop me if you've heard this one: A short bus and a logging truck are driving through the same intersection
source: ramblingbeachcat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(CBS Los Angeles 2)
 
 
 
Lest they be seen as a soft touch, Los Angeles City Council WILL bill the families of good samaritans electrocuted after crash...but they'll also kick off a fundraiser. Now who doesn't like a bake sale?
source: losangeles.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists finally answer one of the world's most pressing questions: Why do pandas do handstands when they pee?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Finally, a chance to live out your hipster-whacking fantasies
source: blog.seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Gather)
 
 
 
So THAT'S why Neil Armstrong never cashed in on the whole "First Man on the Moon" thing
source: news.gather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Fox 31 Denver)
 
 
 
Hot Wheels
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
New Jersey mail carrier uses route to deliver cocaine. Postal authorities become suspicious after the entire route was finished in 17 minutes
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Tats, drugs, gangstas, wannabes, and a whole lotta WTF. Also known as the Gathering of the Juggalos 2012 photo album (Not safe for work)
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Wells Fargo fires long-time employee for conviction of false money transactions. Conviction was for using a cardboard cutout of a dime at a laundromat. In 1963
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Couple find medieval shaft beneath sofa, will soon to go back in time in search for gold
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(CTV News)
 
 
 
If you want to convince the government to free the members of a dissident punk band, human blood might not be the best medium
source: ctvnews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Everyone breathe easy. After diligent work by police, emergency services, a tow truck driver and car mechanics, the eight-inch baby corn snake that terrorized Knoxville TN yesterday has been found dead
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
What do you call a child born in an airplane bathroom? Well, the logical answer is "John", but these weird parents named it "EK", after the plane's airline code
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US bombs Munich
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shattered statue
source: talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
These are what people who've never discovered Fark consider to be "epic tales of procrastination"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
How bad is the economy? A major traffic jam erupts after a racino offers $25 in free play between 8 a.m. and noon
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
**high squeaky voice** Record numbers of Britons are dying from helium
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(ABC 27)
 
 
 
Inmate finds way to break window bar of cell with a razor blade and popsicle stick that was five months in the works, but changes his mind and returns to cell
source: abc27.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Chattanooga Times Free Press)
 
 
 
City council may bend the rules that forbid people from owning goats because Oreo the 1-year-old, black-and-white-haired pygmy goat is so darn domesticated, clean, and cute. Let that be a lesson for us all
source: timesfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Obama redundantly declares parts of Mississippi and Louisiana as disaster areas
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
One fish, two fish, rare Asian fish illegally imported into the U.S., blue fish
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(KTRK)
 
 
 
100 year-old driver who careened into children outside elementary school while backing out of supermarket parking spot thinks his brakes failed, Matlock might be a re-run
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(News 10 ABC Sacramento)
 
 
 
Forget about forging a fake passport that's up to date ... just get an expired one and you can get through TSA like this lady
source: news10.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mother refuses cancer treatment to let her unborn child live and survives the cancer anyway. I was just dusting off all of these 'no cure for cancer' jokes. *Sniffle*
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Neil Armstrong gives Earth a cosmic wink. Friday's "blue moon" will occur on the same day as his funeral services
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Florida Court of Appeals agrees with Zimmerman that his current judge is unfairly biased. Court orders him to step down
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(The Copenhagen Post)
 
 
 
Something smells rotten in the state of Denmark. It could be the unmanned garbage truck that's running me over
source: cphpost.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Bearing blasters, beardos shut down bridge for boobs
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Chipotle restaurants caught rounding bills to nearest quarter to speed up cashier. Manager: 'It is just rounding numbers. It takes a little from certain receipts and gives a little to others. What do you want? A few pennies?'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(311)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Toronto university says: more cowbell
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(KTAR Phoenix)
 
 
 
Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer endorses President Obama at Republican National Convention
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(TBO)
 
 
 
Secret Service agent leaves gun on Romney's plane. Guess who wasn't on the plane's return trip?
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
"We're pretty excited about it, it's not every day that you find something new - particularly in the world of tick-borne diseases"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Men who consume large amounts of chocolate are less likely to have stroke, sex
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
News: Cute 20-year-old student survives grizzly bear attack by playing dead. Fark: She's cute (w/pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Toledo News Now)
 
 
 
Husband puts up billboards asking companies to hire his wife. No, not for that
source: toledonewsnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Press & Sun Bulletin)
 
 
 
Binghamton, NY judge approves his own pistol permit, accidentally discharges the weapon in his chambers. New York State: "That was wrong, you should not have done that"
source: pressconnects.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Cunning linguist writes entire book solely about the origins and use of the word 'asshole.'
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Influential Catholic Priest: "Suppose you have a man having a nervous breakdown, and a youngster comes after him. A lot of the cases, the youngster - 14, 16, 18 - is the seducer"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(277)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Two-week old public mural depicting nudity will be painted over after "the media had a knee-jerk reaction to a couple of negative voices"
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 382: "Gone, Daddy, Gone". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 


Wed August 29, 2012
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Undercover operation puts and end to illegal piranha sale. Looks like Doug and Dinsdale are up to their old tricks
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Disgruntled employee drives bulldozer into auction house, causes $1.5 million in damages. Ok we've got $1.5 million, do I hear $2 million? There's $2 million, now give me $2.5 million
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(KTUL Tulsa)
 
 
 
Tulsa city council calls in extra security for Thursday's meeting because C: For the first time in history, the invocation wil be given by an athiest
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(119)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Just how did the Chinese finish a bridge in 18 months scheduled to take 3 years? How are Chinese construction companies making such terrific profits? Are there lessons here for American businesses and regulators?
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(423)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Researchers observe gravity waves as a pair of massive white orbs warp space. So, how's your mom doing?
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Theme: Restore a classic work of art Ecce-Homo style (LGT explanation)
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(49)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
REMINDER - Amsterdam Fark Party - September 29 at 7pm CET - Drew will be there
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(68)
 
(KTRH Newsradio)
 
 
 
A guy dressed as Neptune wants to have a serious discussion about Portland putting fluoride in the water
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(81)
 
(Patch)
 
 
 
Republican National Convention discussion thread. Heavy hitters include Paul Ryan, Condoleeza Rice, John McCain, Tim Pawlenty, and RAND PAUL. LGT schedule
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(lots)
 
(Foodbeast)
 
 
 
Getting 'breakfast wasted' is now a thing, because Waffle Vodka is also a thing
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(97)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
If you're going to use someone else's picture on your online dating profile, try to avoid using one of the guy who raped and murdered an eight-year-old girl
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(91)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Hitler" clothing store creates outrage for some reason
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(207)
 
(Reddit)
 
 
 
It is confirmed and real. President Obama to take questions on Reddit starting at 4:30 PM EST today
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(934)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Female chimpanzee found to be smarter than US high school students. US high school students too busy worrying about Snooki's baby to comment
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(85)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop these mock musicians
source: msnbcmedia.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Psych Central)
 
 
 
Happiness is a warm gene
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(34)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Sweet: showing up to your girlfriend's house on her birthday. Stupid: mailing yourself to your girlfriend's house for her birthday. Fark: the parcel was delayed in the mail and the boyfriend arrived unconscious
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(103)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
French bigotry is more refined, like wine and cheese at a Klan meeting
source: world.time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(210)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
A word cloud from last night's convention speeches. Come for the herp, stay for the derp. And God bless America, of course
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(72)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It's Thursday, and Jesus still looks like a monkey
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(37)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Syrian President claims it is better to rule over a nation of ruins and corpses
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(49)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"You know what? I feel bad for robbing that bank, so I am going to turn myself in"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(WTAM)
 
 
 
Pizza Hut offers "squirting crust" pizza. And what toppings would you like with that?
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(147)
 
(Charleston Post and Courier)
 
 
 
When it comes to offering a reward for voters' identification cards, saying "it would be like a swarm of bees going after a watermelon" is considered racist
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(123)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
After 30 years, Chicago Public Schools are finally bringing recess back
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(48)
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
Man has public sex with woman in Russia's St. Petersburg, creating giant traffic jam at 5 a.m
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(78)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Pace marketing professor to Mark Zuckerberg: Facebook's stock crisis is bad and you should feel bad. Zuckerberg: Lol I can't hear u over the sound of how awesome I am
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(110)
 
(WBIR Knoxville)
 
 
 
Is that a smiling snake popping out of your AC vent, or are you just happy to see me?
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The ten oddest items in the GOP platform
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(234)
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Your frat was suspended for a fireworks battle with another house. Do you: a) apologize and fix the damage, b) enroll at another school, or c) sue the university for $10 million?
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(77)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
If you get mugged at gunpoint in Florida, your robbers will leave you beaten and booty butt naked. In Ohio, they make sure to leave you with enough bus fare to get home safely
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(46)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Remember all the mismanagement of the 9/11 donations? If so, you're a step ahead of the Aurora movie theater shooting charities
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(42)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Normally, no one cares when the third-string quarterback steps in. Unless it happens to be a pigtailed 17 year-old girl. Who is a total badass
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(201)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Well, NASA finally found a way to make you hate the Mars mission. Yes, it involves Will.i.am
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man wearing a Obama mask robs a McDonald's. Demands all the hope and change in the cash register
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(55)
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Headline should be: "BUT OH GOD WHY WERE THEY LOOKING"
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
Facebook's "LIKE" system doesn't really work
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(101)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
The secret to making zucchini that actually tastes good. Yeah, right
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(256)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
DC has vastly increased its $afety through the use of speed cameras and redlight cameras. But there's always more $afety to be had, right? Oh, I know: how about stop sign cameras? Yeah, stop sign cameras would bring lots of $afety
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(87)
 
(Foreign Policy)
 
 
 
Democracy will not come easily to Swaziland, because the king is magic and can turn himself into a cat or an ant, turn invisible, or point a stick at you and kill you
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(139)
 
(NBC News)
 
 
 
Typhoon watchers learn that Typhoons are not spectator friendly
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(42)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
From the "it was only a matter of time" department: tip jars now take credit cards
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(167)
 
(News Leader)
 
 
 
School district discovers PTA president embezzling funds. Fark: after discovering another employee embezzling funds last year. Farkier: And after discovering the athletic director had embezzled as well
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(38)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The real questions are why was a priest carrying around a vial of Pope John Paul II's blood in a backpack and how many other vials are still out there?
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(85)
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Jim Cantore has discovered a new hurricane-defense strategy: Tebowing (video)
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(43)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Strip billiards made a push for the Paralympics but lost out, mostly because of the third leg
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(8)
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Former SC Governor and part-time appalachian trail hiker goes to Argentina to vow never to cheat on his former mistress
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(44)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Hi, yeah, it's me, the National Park Service... this is kind of awkward, so I'm just going to say it: Remember that night you slept with me? You might want to get yourself tested. Just to be safe
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(32)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
SEAL Team Six member claims that contrary to reports, Bin Laden put up no fight. "In all of my deployments, we routinely saw this phenomenon. The higher up the food chain the targeted individual was, the bigger a pussy he was"
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(266)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Amsterdam plane situation is NOT a situation. Authorities blame it on miscommunication between the tower and plane. Apparently, saying "Hi, Jaques" when greeting the tower operator is a bad move
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(28)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Pediatricians conclude that the benefits from circumcision slightly outweigh the risk of doctors with bad eyesight and a shaky hand
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(509)
 
(CBS Atlanta)
 
 
 
An Atlanta school teacher had a very good reason for her part in the test cheating scandal. They were "dumb as hell"
source: atlanta.cbslocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Tri-City Herald)
 
 
 
When you lose your cat burglar kit, do you A) carefully retrace your steps, B) forget it, man, it's gone, C) ask your friendly neighborhood cop if maybe he's seen it
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(7)
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Photoshop this waterfowl weigh-in
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(25)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN has compiled a group of photographs depicting how to die in a hurricane. Photos include "This road's not closed" "I'm on a bench in a wave" and Subby's personal favorite "I hope my dog can swim"
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(69)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
News that will shock no one: Snooki's baby is hairy. Gorilla-hairy. Yak at mid-winter on Everest hairy
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(132)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
We understand these are difficult times. But please stop stealing the copper cables from our DOT cameras, we kind of need them
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(44)
 
(Wisconsin State Journal)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabian man, in Wisconsin to attend English as a Second Language Institute, is apparently confused as to the meaning of the phrase "Can I pet your cat?"
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(55)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
NPR asks the tough question: Just why does a pregnancy last 9 months, anyway? Legitimate ones, I mean
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(70)
 
(WOKV Jacksonville)
 
 
 
Store customer with a concealed weapons permit attempts to stop a robbery. He wounds bystanders and gets into a shootout with police when they think he's the robber. Just kidding. He shot the robber dead and the police thanked him
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(756)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Missing woman joins search party looking for herself
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(61)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Some people believe sex is best on a Thursday. Some others believe it's any day that ends with a "y" (Not safe for work pic)
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(59)
 
(AZ Family)
 
 
 
Mother worried that the odors coming from her neighbor's medical marijuana grow operation are making her child sick. "The doctor said he's got blisters on the back of his throat and they don't know why"
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(126)
 
(CBS Philadelphia)
 
 
 
D.C. has the worst drivers in the country, according to an insurance company that has never had a single employee drive through Boston
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(124)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Here are just the nouns from this story: vacation, nightmare, gay couple, airport staff, dildo, luggage, lubricant, bags, carousel. There are no winners here
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(132)
 
(The Big Lead)
 
 
 
755 traffic citations, 178 tickets, 1 topless teenager dancing on the roof of a bus in the Burlington Coat Factory parking lot
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(72)
 


Tue August 28, 2012
(DeMilked)
 
 
 
You're too smart to go down a not-so-good-street. But oh, the thing you will see in Google street-view
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(108)
 
(WTAE)
 
 
 
Pop quiz, hotshot. The bus driver forgot to take her meds. You're on the top tier. (it's a mega-bus on the PA turnpike) What do you do? What do you do?
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(57)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Just in time for Ann Romney and Chris Christie, it's your Fark Republican Convention viewing thread. Funny counts more than political points. LGN
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(1707)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Navy reports that piracy off Africa is declining sharply. You fools, don't you realize this means more global warming?
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(34)
 
(Redding Record Searchlight)
 
 
 
Nine year old climbs to summit of Mt. Shasta, which is 14,162 ft. Started trying when he was six. What've you done with your life?
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(166)
 
(Orange County Register)
 
 
 
Taco Bell's Doritos Taco has become the company's biggest hit, breaking sales records and encouraging the franchise to make two new flavors, including spicy chili-lime Flamas and Cool Ranch. Who the hell would eat ranch on a taco?
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The 1% is: a) the smartest of the population. b) the richest of the population. c) the portion of national electrical power used to grow weed
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(77)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Mexican prisoner transport
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(31)
 
(TropicWx Hurricane Page)
 
 
 
Hurricane party time... it's your official "Oh crap, why is Jim Cantore standing in front of my house?"... err.. Hurricane Isaac thread
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(478)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Wisconsin man who has the message "Obama Fuk Off" painted on his truck defends his spelling ability and explains that "Fuk" is an acronym for Fundamentally Useless Kenyan. Oh, well okay then
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(251)
 
(BBC-US)
 
 
 
Trade sanctions cutting off Iranian players from World of Warcraft matched by Iranian government, which blocks access due to the game promoting 'superstition and mythology.' Well, they would know
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(53)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Why did a juror skip out on deliberations and go to Cancun? "Sh*t happens"
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(63)
 
(The Atlantic Wire)
 
 
 
The Swedish nation would like you to know that the Swedish Chef is NOT representative of their people and culture-mostly because he's CLEARLY a got-damn NORWEGIAN
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(193)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
4-year-old boy tells cops the beer shots his mother gave him at the pub "tasted funny and made him laugh a lot." Sounds like the kid has life all figured out already
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(71)
 
(WHAS 11 Louisville)
 
 
 
Wrecking crews uncover abandoned underground S&M sex club in Kentucky. "This is the weirdest I've ever found," said one worker who had never seen Drew's basement
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(186)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this photogenic robot
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(The Weekly Standard)
 
 
 
Local Hooters welcomes VP Joe Biden. With a jab
source: weeklystandard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Bible translated into incomprehensible Scots language in bid to convert incomprehensible Scottish heathens
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Buzzfeed)
 
 
 
Naked Prince Harry inspires privates to stand and salute. Bonus: moob-tat
source: buzzfeed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Village Voice)
 
 
 
"Many people put those announcements in (US newspapers) because they wanted to get the benefits of being so-called born in this country. Many people did it." Yes, Donald Trump actually said this on National Television
source: blogs.villagevoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 
(AZ Daily Sun)
 
 
 
Cue up the Raffi: ugly-ass baby beluga born at the Shedd Aquarium
source: azdailysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(WOODTV Grand Rapids)
 
 
 
Real dummy uses fake dummy in attempt to break out of jail
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ it's still a lion, get in the car
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Sun's naked Prince Harry pictures draw 3,600 complaints.... that they didn't remove that little star
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Oh look, it's that pit bull thread again
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(289)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oh, non, pas cette merde à nouveau
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Apple patents another stunning breakthrough: paying your bills on-line. How utterly innovative
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(248)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Westboro Baptist Church to protest Republican National Convention
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(223)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Wheel Clamp Man
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(SF Weekly)
 
 
 
GOP Jesus: Celebrated deity who preached that "the poor should get a damned job already" and that all human suffering could be averted by simply lowering the capital gains tax
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(191)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Today's RNC concert review: "You had to be 21 and over to get into Lee Greenwood's Monday show at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino, but to be honest, they would have been safe setting the bar at 50"
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(132)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Get ready for more Snowmageddon this winter
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN asks "Can pro-anorexia websites help heal eating disorders?". This is a follow-up to their landmark article "Can picking at scabs make them heal quicker?"
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(41)
 
(Local10)
 
 
 
Man arrested for calling 911 to ask female deputies for sex. Next time use the non-emergency number, buddy
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