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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun November 07, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(CNN)   Rappers arrested in Iran. So apparently Iranian law isn't as bad as we thought  (cnn.com) (109)
(Some Guy)   Taking American cuisine culture to new heights, restaurant now offers angus burgers wrapped in waffles. "One of the most strange yet satisfying food encounters I've had this year"  (fastfood.ocregister.com) (68)
(NW Florida Daily News)   Suspect named "Tootie" accused of stealing a man's purse and $2,000 worth of skin care products. You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life  (nwfdailynews.com) (75)
(Daily Mail)   This man spent $200,000 to become a voluptuous woman, then changed his mind and spent more to become a man again. Now, at 50, he's found the 28-year-old love of his life, and she's obviously not after his money  (dailymail.co.uk) (250)
(whdh.com)   The ol' switcheroo is amusing on sitcoms. At the local funeral home, not so much  (www1.whdh.com) (32)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this cartwheeling celebration  (online.wsj.com) (33)
(Some Guy)   Kindergarten teacher accused of improper use of students. . . . . .to manipulate election  (www2.hernandotoday.com) (75)
(Life.com)   Now it can be revealed: The secret Allied weapon that helped tip the scales in WWII was ... uh, that German broad's shapely gams  (life.com) (118)
(TBO)   Citizens enraged after government passes law, making it mandatory to take responsibility for themselves or face hefty fines. ObamaCare, you ask? No, septic tank maintenance  (www2.tbo.com) (139)
(BBC)   God Save the Queen  (bbc.co.uk) (63)
(Mercury News)   Time stands still for Stanford's sculpture "Timetable", a $500,000 clock and fountain by famed architect Maya Lin. There's a ghost of a chance they'll carve away the stone and put a new world man back in the limelight  (mercurynews.com) (111)
(Boston Herald)   You know you've got some damn good bridesmaids in your wedding if their limo gets carjacked outside the church and they don't say a word about it to the bride until after the ceremony  (bostonherald.com) (40)
(fox chicago)   Couple robs bank, get caught immediately, money retrieved. Bank claims $7,500 is, ummm, unaccounted for....... (cough). Bonus: One of the robbers is named Justice  (myfoxchicago.com) (54)
(Toronto Star)   Lessons from a mushroom picker. First, make sure you only pick OHGAWD OHGAWD OHGAWD OHGAWD EVERYTHING'S SO GREEN  (thestar.com) (95)
(Some Guy)   "The Mystery of the Tainted Cocaine." Whooaaa, tainted cocaine  (thestranger.com) (127)
(NYPost)   Just in time for the holidays, chef creates the 'cherpumple'- a cherry pie, apple pie and a pumpkin pie, baked into a three-layer cake and topped with frosting. "It intrigues and horrifies people"  (nypost.com) (88)
(Huffington Post)   Ugly ass baby dolphin rescued, rescuers unsure of what nipple to use  (huffingtonpost.com) (36)
(Google)   Photoshop what Arnold will be up to once out of office  (google.com) (30)
(NPR)   NPR, asking the tough questions: Corn suddenly costs more. Why not corn flakes?  (npr.org) (126)
(Some Guy)   This 3-photo slideshow of a hospitalized koala will have you saying "Awww", "Ewww", and "I only see 14". It's Preciousss  (heraldsun.com.au) (76)
(The New York Times)   Next up for the super-snowflake treatment: the high school yearbook  (nytimes.com) (179)
(Boston Herald)   You see an old church, I see a nonconforming use in a zoned commercial district. You see transubstantiation, I see trans-fats. We call it progress  (bostonherald.com) (66)
(News.com.au)   Chihuahua, pomeranian on top 100 dangerous dogs list --- and by dangerous, they obviously mean annoying  (news.com.au) (138)
(Oregon Live)   Angry mother of convicted pimp posts a link to sexually explicit photos of her son's 15-year-old victim on Myspace. Guess what happens next (Hint: bonus "Angry Mom" mugshot)  (oregonlive.com) (138)
(NYPost)   See Spot run, see Spot fly, see Spot blow up 6 miles high  (nypost.com) (79)
(WVEC)   Newport News invaded by giant alien pod, and they hope it brings friends along next year  (wvec.com) (47)
(CBC)   Being in a homeless shelter is bad enough without the flesh-eating bacteria  (cbc.ca) (34)
(FARK)   Contest: Fark headlines from before the dawn of Fark. Difficulty: 1990-1995  (fark.com) (442)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop this chancellor in the Chancellery  (spiegel.de) (33)
(Daily Herald)   Hitting a police car while driving drunk is a unique way of turning yourself in  (dailyherald.com) (7)
(AZCentral)   Police: Why is the 12 year old driving? Mom: Because he's sober  (azcentral.com) (35)
(MSNBC)   Oregon couple in trouble for handing out condoms to teens on Halloween  (msnbc.msn.com) (99)
(Daily Mail)   Ugly-assed baby liger and his big-assed brother mug for the camera  (dailymail.co.uk) (98)
(The Atlantic)   Thanks to the Internet, election-changing controversies can be ginned up like "death panels", "Ground Zero mosque" and "Drew's sobriety"  (theatlantic.com) (109)
(Hindustan Times)   Quick-thinking police officer assigned to Obama's hotel acts to prevent terror threat -- by shooting himself in the leg before the leg can do anything sneaky  (hindustantimes.com) (54)
(Some Guy)   Remember the Alamo. . . . . . . . . .. (is the home of a registered sex offender)  (woai.com) (44)
(St. Petersburg Times)   Dumbass: Getting arrested for parking car in first row of courthouse, masturbating in front seat. Fark: Claiming you were applying hemorrhoid cream, not K-Y Warming Jelly  (tampabay.com) (36)
(CBC)   Residents along bad road sell nude calendars to bring attention to holes and cracks  (cbc.ca) (24)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this dresser  (contemporist.com) (27)

Sat November 06, 2010
(TBO)   Alligator pulls dog into water. Owner shoots at gator. Owner uses pole to pull dog to land, then performs CPR on dog and saves his life. How was your day?  (www2.tbo.com) (86)
(CBC)   Canada is the world's #1 "brand" among countries  (cbc.ca) (302)
(SeattlePI)   Woman claims a man scammed her in to taking trips to Australia. Says she became suspicious when she never saw the Alps  (seattlepi.com) (65)
(Gizmodo)   Vote for Cyber Lincoln, 2012. The future of presidency IS HERE  (gizmodo.com) (66)
(News.com.au)   I'll see your 10 year old girl giving birth and raise you with a 57 year old woman having twins  (news.com.au) (90)
(AZCentral)   A 6-foot-8, 600-pound man is the new model for a restaurant called The Heart Attack Grill. This will not end well  (azcentral.com) (179)
(Boston Globe)   257 familiar idioms we risk losing if Atheists take over  (boston.com) (265)
(Sky News)   Gladiator training center in Pompeii collapses. This is not a repeat from 79 A.D  (news.sky.com) (53)
(BBC)   Pope sees Spain becoming more secular, warns of "aggressive anti-clericalism". Perhaps someone should begin an inquiry?  (bbc.co.uk) (172)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop this angel appearing  (spiegel.de) (39)
(Chicago Sun-Times)   Michigan Farkers: Stock up now on Four Loko -AKA- 'blackout in a can' because the state liquor board says it must be pulled from the shelves in 30 days  (suntimes.com) (175)
(NPR)   Stop bashing the evil cigarette companies. Someday your life may depend on them  (npr.org) (42)
(CNN)   Sixty-five years after the fact, the clanging of Maj. Doak Weston's enormous brass balls can still be heard when the wind blows  (cnn.com) (79)
(Orlando Sentinel)   Wouldn't you rather play a nice game of chess?  (orlandosentinel.com) (59)
(PennLive)   The ACLU is fighting to keep your first comment rights  (pennlive.com) (78)
(Daily Mail)   Photogs capture moment a Scotsman beefeater guarding the Queen's Palace lost his rag and saw red with some gormless Jerry wankers acting like a bunch of James Blunts  (dailymail.co.uk) (85)
(Yahoo)   U.S. obesity rate may hit 42% by 2050, causing planet to wobble out of orbit and send us all to a fiery doom. EVERYBODY PANIC  (news.yahoo.com) (247)
(Daily Mail)   Not News: Ind Coop brewery still makes Double-Diamond beer. News: But for only the Duke of Edinburgh. Fark: Not the pub. The Queen of England's husband  (dailymail.co.uk) (59)
(Some Virtual Guy)   Italian police investigating break-in of virtual home. Police Chief issues virtual APB  (matadornetwork.com) (66)
(Seacoastonline.com)   If you stole "an array of adult items" and a Carmen Electra-branded stripper pole, both the Portsmouth, NH police and subby would like to speak to you  (seacoastonline.com) (57)
(Independent)   Documentary accuses the green movement of causing mass starvation in Africa by getting it wrong on genetically-modified food, greens not amused  (independent.co.uk) (274)
(Manila, Philippines)   Photoshop these stewardesses making their market shares rise  (bigpicture.ru) (20)
(This Is Money)   Airports are purposefully allowing security lines to grow in order to drive people into paying extra for 'fast-track' service. Obvious tag stuck in line  (thisismoney.co.uk) (123)
(CBS Baltimore)   More and more colleges are abandoning SAT scores as an admissions requirement, choosing instead to focus on students' propensity for starting up clubs, putting on plays  (wjz.com) (232)
(Taunton Gazette)   "Why the hell should I have to stop for someone in the road?" (a) it's the law, (b) he's a cop, (c) his hand is tougher than your SUV  (tauntongazette.com) (111)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)   Price of cotton (and therefore clothing) going up due to increased world demand. If only there were some other crop with smaller plant/harvest ratio we could grow to make clothing  (cleveland.com) (141)
(Chicago Tribune)   Des Plaines teenager killed in a hit-and-run. Witnesses say the driver was wearing a white suit but could not tell if he had any distinguishing marks or tattoos  T-Shirt  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (51)
(Wired)   For an authoritative legal and historical discussion of flipping the bird, read "Digitus Impudicus: the Middle Finger and the Law" (pdf)  (wired.com) (40)
(gazette.com)   Three feral cats, all born with birth defects, have made themselves right at home at a Colorado beer garden. Drew approves, warns them not to spill the beer on the servers on Caturday  (gazette.com) (650)
(SFGate)   In Florida, the going rate for selling your kid has now been marked down to $30,000. Damn this lousy economy  (sfgate.com) (24)
(Some Guy)   20 awesomely untranslatable words from around the world  (matadornetwork.com) (255)
(ABC News)   Poland attacked by 100 feet Jesus  (abcnews.go.com) (55)
(NW Florida Daily News)   Man scrambles from the driver's seat to the back seat to avoid while cops are trying to pull him over  (nwfdailynews.com) (29)
(Daily Mail)   Army Cadets banned from carrying their rifles at parade on Remembrance Day by big brass because some members of the public were upset they might "glamorise" weapons  (dailymail.co.uk) (159)
(Mother Nature Network)   Everyone from the candy industry to TV network executives want to see the abolishment of daylight savings time  (mnn.com) (87)
(KSBY-6 San Luis Obispo)   Little girl with leukemia finally meets and thanks the bone marrow donor who saved her life five years ago and DUST FROM OUT OF F***ING NOWHERE (with video)  (ksby.com) (55)
(Daily Mail)   First pictures of 10-year old girl who gave birth. Wait, that's a 10-year old?  (dailymail.co.uk) (220)
(Flickr)   Photoshop this staring contest  (farm5.static.flickr.com) (22)
(The Sun)   Smurf becomes subject of police manhunt after attacking Rastafarian. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (38)

Fri November 05, 2010
(Psychology Today)   Yes, Virginia, there are generally accepted standards of beauty, no matter what the fatties and frumpies have told you  (psychologytoday.com) (249)
(Denver Post)   If an employee asks for time off, either say "yes" or "sorry, I must decline your request". Do not, however, unzip your pants, whip out your hog and say "you need to help a guy out"  (denverpost.com) (90)
(NJ.com)   Basic geocaching equipment: GPS receiver, water bottle, compass, sunblock, $23,000 in cash and jewelry, bug spray... wait, what?  (nj.com) (61)
(The Smoking Gun)   This week's Mugshot Roundup will have you seeing red  (thesmokinggun.com) (254)
(Some Guy in Havana)   Photoshop this man reading next to a restaurant  (bigpicture.ru) (18)
(Some Guy)   Employee: We've cleaned up the graffiti. Employer: What graffiti?  (swns.com) (119)
(Gawker)   Workers at Indian plant complain of shrinkage. Well, they did just get back from the pool, and the water was cold  (gawker.com) (45)
(Seattle Times)   You know what's scarier than radioactive wasps? Radioactive rabbits. The most vile, vicious, rodent you ever saw  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (140)
(Daily Mail)   13-year-old schoolboy didn't want to play rugby. Naturally, he shot his gym teacher in the face  (dailymail.co.uk) (126)
(Sign On San Diego)   Guy buys old animal pelt at garage sale for $5, turns out to be from extinct Tasmanian Tiger and worth $70,000. That's grrrrreeeeeaaaaat   (signonsandiego.com) (99)
(cfnews13.com)   Judge denies "hiccup girl" motion to set bond, glass of water  (cfnews13.com) (49)
(Some Texas tag proponent)   If you want to remove your truck from the storefront you just crashed into, make sure no other vehicle is behind you. And remember, when pulling forward after backing into said vehicle, the store is still there  (kltv.com) (41)
(WorldNetDaily)   Chuck Norris is so tough he can make fun of Bruce Lee in Czechoslovakian T-Mobile commercials  (wnd.com) (133)
(WIBC)   Concealing your alcohol in a Gatorade bottle, passing out drunk at your desk and blowing a .21% is no way for a teacher to start his Friday. Or is it?  (wibc.com) (111)
(FARK)   ↑, ↑, ↓, ↓, ←, →, ←, →, B, A  (fark.com) (497)
(Some Guy)   Calif. high-speed rail to rapidly deliver people to two places no one wants to go  (bizjournals.com) (476)
(Live Science)   More and more evidence showing that stone age man didn't domesticate grain for food, but rather to get his neolithic drunk on, make stone age women appear more attractive  (livescience.com) (64)
(Science Daily)   Warning: Extended use of morphine may result in addiction, depression, loss of appetite, loss of sex drive, loss of interest in professional sports, strange new interests in shopping and Kenny G music  (sciencedaily.com) (91)
(Some Guy)   Crack house has a walk-up window for the crackhead on the go  (floridakeyssheriff.blogspot.com) (36)
(Some Guy)   Research in Norway indicates that older brothers are smarter...ha, my older brother is definitely not from Norway  (zumaworld.blogspot.com) (51)
(Gizmodo)   Are you telling me you made a DeLorean... out of cake?  (gizmodo.com) (89)
(CBC)   1000-year-old relic recovered. CNN still planning on cancelling his show in December  (cbc.ca) (24)
(Mother Jones)   If you're an older white Catholic living in the Northeast, you probably swung the election  (motherjones.com) (85)
(LA Times)   AT&T thinks their customers shouldn't be able to file class-action lawsuits. What could possibly go wrong?  (latimes.com) (103)
(Gawker)   Sarah Palin favorites a tweet that links to a picture of a sign about "The blood of Jesus against Obama," our "Taliban Muslim illegally elected President USA: Hussein"  (gawker.com) (416)
(NYPost)   You are pretty much screwed when your defense attorney begs the jury to give you the death penalty  (nypost.com) (65)
(Cracked)   Five things nobody tells you about quitting drinking  (cracked.com) (475)
(Some Guy)   I keep telling those kids, pull up your pants, yer gonna hurt yourself ... and now someone's in the hospital  (trentonian.com) (42)
(Fox News)   The UN plans to send the US a strongly worded letter  (foxnews.com) (238)
(Yahoo)   AARP was instrumental in securing passage of health care reform. To celebrate, they're hiking their employees' health care premiums due to the law  (news.yahoo.com) (121)
(Yahoo)   Apparently one of the perks of being a Navy SEAL is that nobody bothers to check the huge suspicious crates you have shipped back from Afghanistan and Iraq  (news.yahoo.com) (92)
(My Fox DC)   Blue light special over Virginia has people believing in UFO's  (myfoxdc.com) (47)
(Reuters)   German Finance Minister Wolfgang Schaeuble: "With all due respect, U.S. policy is clueless" OH SNAP  (reuters.com) (115)
(NYPost)   Is that a turkey in your pants or are you just happy to see me?  (nypost.com) (20)
(Boston Globe)   Ohio inmate wins early release after giving away too many pancakes. Quoth the judge: "Get your big box of Aunt Jemima and eat all you want, Mr. Pancake"  (boston.com) (29)
(Philly)   To celebrate his early release, Lil Wayne's friends are planning an "elegant, extravagant evening of celebration and strippers to welcome him home." Because nothing screams elegant quite like strippers  (philly.com) (66)
(Philly)   Columnist watches a week's worth of "Countdown" and "O'Reilly Factor" episodes, then smacks his forehead with a hammer to numb the pain  (philly.com) (274)
(Yahoo)   Man in jet pack with wings completes two aerial loops. Not a flying car, but still pretty cool  (news.yahoo.com) (30)
(whdh.com)   Books finally returned to library after 60 years, thanks to a Thoreau search  (www1.whdh.com) (13)
(Guardian.com)   I'm tired of seeing naked dinosaurs  (guardian.co.uk) (68)
(WTOP)   Marijuana and cold medicine, check. Topless woman in bridal skirt and veil, check. Then it gets a little weird  (wtop.com) (40)
(Some Guy)   Shuttle explosion delayed until Monday, something about a space gas leak of some sort  (spaceflightnow.com) (56)
(Engadget)   Cable TV subscriber count drops for just the second time in history. So naturally cable execs are looking to lower prices to lure people back. Just kidding, prices going up to maintain profit trajectories  (engadget.com) (149)
(AFP)   Russia "deeply angered" that Georgia had the termerity to bust up a Russian spy ring operating inside its country [link fixed]  (news.yahoo.com) (19)
(MaineToday.com)   Maine woman in trouble for claiming she was pregnant for 40 months. We're going to need a bigger crib  (onlinesentinel.com) (23)
(Time)   Google Maps error prompts Nicaragua to invade Costa Rica  (newsfeed.time.com) (34)
(Some Guy)   Firefighters winch 280lb parent free after getting stuck in waterslide. This is not an episode from The Simpsons  (swns.com) (45)
(The New York Times)   Spiderman, Spiderman. Unable to do what every other Broadway show can -- open before Christmas when all the tourists are in town  (nytimes.com) (35)
(WFTV)   Racial slur causes school to cancel offensive play. FARK: "To Kill a Mockingbird"  (wftv.com) (116)
(WorldNetDaily)   White House: India trip costs about same as Bush and Clinton trips. WorldNetDaily's White House correspondent: "Could you specify which trip President Bush ever took which cost $200 million a day?"  (wnd.com) (628)
(Boston Herald)   George W. Bush reveals his worst drunken moment, which wouldn't even make the top thousand in Ted Kennedy's worst drunken moments  (bostonherald.com) (122)
(Some Guy)   Halloween is over. Time for the yearly "OMG CHRISTMAS WILL KILL YOUR CHILDREN" article. And remember, those aren't ornaments Johnny...they're Balls of Death  (kptv.com) (20)
(Wikipedia)   Update on LeadFootSpiderMonkeys nephew Caleb (w pics in thread)  (en.wikipedia.org) (52)
(New York Daily News)   Bacon-flavored soda derided by man wearing yarmulke  (nydailynews.com) (59)
(USA Today)   A slideshow of the best pizza joints in America. And most of them are Chicago-style, too, so you know they're good. Take some notes, New Yorkers  (mediagallery.usatoday.com) (334)
(Wired)   Photoshop this smug whiskey sniffer  (howto.wired.com) (19)
(Spaceflight Now)   DISCOVERY'S FINAL FLIGHT. Shuttle launching at 3:04pm EDT today, link contains countdown progress & NASA TV feed  (spaceflightnow.com) (95)
(Fox News)   New Trial 4 West Memphis 3  (foxnews.com) (180)
(WTOP)   Shoplifting tip: If you are trying to steal a pair of women's high heeled shoes, putting them on and trying to walk out of the store is not the best idea. Especially if you're a 22 year old guy  (wtopnews.com) (26)
(CNN)   Young man boards an international flight disguised as an old man. With bitter beer face picture  (cnn.com) (101)
(Guardian.com)   Clever game show contestant leaves producers spell bound  (guardian.co.uk) (82)
(AOL News)   CAIR files lawsuit against Oklahoma for the "no Sharia Law" amendment  (aolnews.com) (370)
(Life.com)   Discover the origin of timeless cliches, such as "jump the shark", and stay for the amazement of how many cliches are alcohol-inspired  (life.com) (75)
(MSNBC)   Costco cheese linked to E. Coli outbreak. Gouda? No, it's awful  (msnbc.msn.com) (46)
(Some Guy)   Turns out the secret ingredient in NYC water that tastes great and makes for better bagels and pizza is lead  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (96)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop Drew's sign  (img835.imageshack.us) (62)
(Boston Globe)   Ugly-assed baby gorilla born in Boston zoo. w/awww pic  (boston.com) (28)
(Fox News)   In order to prepare them for soul-sucking jobs where an incompetent boss is lording over them expecting them to do her job and taking all the credit, more schools are going to 9-to-5 days  (liveshots.blogs.foxnews.com) (195)

Thu November 04, 2010
(Canoe)   Four Canadian men have found a way to outfat KFC's Double Down. Yes, poutine is involved  (cnews.canoe.ca) (110)
(Some Guy)   Hey Kids...If you really want your parents' attention, put a needle in your Snickers bar and report it to the police as tampering. Trust me, you'll have their undivided attention  (triblocal.com) (42)
(Yahoo)   "We're going to stand up and speak out, and it may take some renegades going rogue, doing this together, separately, as a group, or something"  (news.yahoo.com) (73)
(LA Times)   The story of those Vietnam POW bracelets worn in the 1970s. Warning: Your room is about to get very dusty  (latimes.com) (177)
(AZCentral)   12-year-old pulls a knife on his mom after she wouldn't let him go out trick-or-treating dressed as a "gay Justin Bieber"  (azcentral.com) (95)
(CNN)   Great, now were sending planes with bombs from JFK to Amsterdam in retaliation for the printer bombs sent to us  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (42)
(BBC)   Coconuts are being removed from trees in India in advance of Obama's visit. Change you can *BONK* OW  (bbc.co.uk) (129)
(Cambridge News)   Meet the woman suffering from extreme narcolepsy, who falls asleep whenever she laughs. Doctors are prescribing a Two And a Half Men box-set  T-Shirt  (cambridge-news.co.uk) (63)
(Denver Post)   FARK: The police determine that you actually stabbed yourself in the back  (denverpost.com) (37)
(Toronto Star)   Man badger badger badger badgers landlord about unexpected snake  (thestar.com) (54)
(AFP)   High taxes, government regulation of everything, and socialized healthcare make Norway the worst place on Earth  (news.yahoo.com) (232)
(abclocal.go.com)   You know what they say about finding ordnance in your home: the mortar merrier  T-Shirt  (abclocal.go.com) (20)
(CNN)   Democrat Quinn ekes out win in Illinois Governor's race  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (119)
(Some Former Mayor)   Photoshop this ceremony at city hall  (s.wsj.net) (38)
(An Awesome Mom)   A letter to all the "concerned" parents out there, from a mom who let her 5 year old son dress like Scooby-Doo's Daphne for Halloween  (nerdyapplebottom.com) (531)
(Fox 4 KC)   Family discovers another body buried with father. Awkwaaaaaaaaaaard  (fox4kc.com) (71)
(ABC News)   Harry Potter fans make India's owls disappear. It's magic  (abcnews.go.com) (61)
(Nerve)   Downside: Facebook knows your drinking habits, who you hooked up with last week and your religious beliefs. Upside: It also knows who will win the next election  (nerve.com) (42)
(Washington Post)   Sometimes you can tell alcohol was involved in a story just from the headline: "Students accused of beheading a fiberglass giraffe"  (washingtonpost.com) (33)
(Denver Post)   The Tea Party candidate who compared alcoholism to homosexuality says the only reason he wasn't elected was because he was "too honest"  (denverpost.com) (147)
(YouTube)   Watch this video, and a child with diabetes in need gets insulin. No punchline  (youtube.com) (178)
(IndyStar)   Indianapolis police and firemen are reaching around to the gay community  (indystar.com) (32)
(Some Guy)   'Health and safety Nazis', 'political correctness gone mad' and 'killing off an important British tradition'. This is not an article from The Daily Mail  (swns.com) (35)
(FARK)   Final thoughts on the Jon Stewart/Reddit issue, Comedy Central is not The Daily Show, and why Legacy Media and New Media need a new perspective on each other  (fark.com) (816)
(The Morning Call)   Why let something like an ambulance ride stop you from casting your vote?  (mcall.com) (16)
(Billings Gazette)   If you've been on the lam for twelve years after jumping parole, it's probably better if you don't maintain a lively Facebook presence  (billingsgazette.com) (62)
(MSNBC)   Sad news, the Happy Meal ban won't stop childhood obesity. Wait. Someone actually thought it would?  (msnbc.msn.com) (413)
(Some Happy Gilmore Guy)   If you accidentally left your hockey bag outside the bar last night, the Bomb Squad would like to have a word with you. And that one word is BOOM  (newsnet5.com) (84)
(Great Falls Tribune)   French surrender title of "world's oldest person" to American. USA USA  (greatfallstribune.com) (42)
(The News-Herald)   They were accused of using a woman's bacterial infection to rob a Cleveland convenience store  (news-herald.com) (55)
(Yahoo)   Khrushchev to Eisenhower: We will bury you. Putin to Bush: My dog is bigger than your dog  (news.yahoo.com) (101)
(Daily Mail)   86-year-old Brit found driving wrong way down road. With pic of everyone driving on wrong side of road  (dailymail.co.uk) (30)
(WFTV)   ♫She's too drunk to give a f@#k, She just wants that big red truck, Now it's smashed and sitting stuck, THOSE WERE THE DAYS♫  (wftv.com) (27)
(My San Antonio)   Republicans to shelve immigration reform for enforcement. Kiss your amnesty goodbye  (mysanantonio.com) (548)
(WKYT)   Kentucky Highway Patrol arrests men with guardrails, rope, and really big bucket; men claim they were just going to have really good time in Vegas  (wkyt.com) (20)
(KRDO.com)   Denver Voters Reject Plan To Track Space Aliens  (krdo.com) (24)
(PennLive)   Homeland security monitors Twitter as part of intelligence surveillance program, proving the biggest threats to our nation are college kids who take pictures of food  (pennlive.com) (44)
(Fox News)   Mail bomb defusing was like an episode of Mission Impossible, but missed the drama by 16 minutes 59 seconds  (foxnews.com) (38)
(Yahoo)   Haiti's refugee camps are worried about the coming hurricane. With pic of a Haitian McDonalds  (news.yahoo.com) (100)
(Sun Sentinel)   Appropriate classroom discipline techniques: A) Time outs. B) Send to Principal's office. C) Bite student. Wait, what??  (sun-sentinel.com) (14)
(Bloomberg)   Obama quickly tosses 'cap and trade' under the bus, "cap-and-trade was just one way of skinning the cat"  (bloomberg.com) (305)
(Some Guy)   Fark ready headline: Battleship Bob threatens rowers with cage fight over Mr Asbo the swan  (swns.com) (18)
(New York Daily News)   Prince says the sex trophies were not part of the real estate deal, so they should not be shown in court  (nydailynews.com) (65)
(USA Today)   Now that the Boomers are shriveled, toothless husks approaching death, it's time to start thinking about when to cut their driving privileges  (usatoday.com) (86)
(WRAL)   Students vow to block NC State's Free Expression Tunnel because they don't like some of the things expressed there  (wral.com) (123)
(NPR)   "Britain and France Sign 50 Year Defense Pact." Now if some anarchist can just shoot some Austrian politician we'll be all set  (npr.org) (69)
(BBC)   Apparently, William Shatner was on board Quantas flight when its engine blew (with video)  (bbc.co.uk) (147)
(Canada.com)   Qantas grounds A380s. In other news, people who never drive have perfect driving records  (canada.com) (60)
(Seattle Times)   Home invasion isn't your bag when the victim AND your partner end up shooting at you  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (15)
(NPR)   Finding a birch tree in the woods and then "patenting" it so you can charge royalties for anyone utilizing birch might be good for business, but it doesn't make a lick of god damned sense  (npr.org) (40)
(Daily Mail)   Morbidly obese woman mows down elderly couple with her chariot of destruction  (dailymail.co.uk) (134)
(There's something in my eye)   Back page news: Elderly couple wins $11M in lottery. 3rd page news: She has cancer at the time. FRONT PAGE: They give it ALL away to charity in only 4 months  (thechronicleherald.ca) (76)
(Washington Post)   Relax, citizen. Pay no attention to the Pentagon giving over $3 billion in contracts to companies that nobody can say exactly who owns  (washingtonpost.com) (163)
(Daily Mail)   Only the nanny state can bring you the scariest speed camera of all time  (dailymail.co.uk) (107)
(AccessAtlanta)   Bristol Palin forgot to send in her absentee ballot. She's in trouble now, sorry mom  (accessatlanta.com) (222)
(Some Handler)   Photoshop this sidewalk stroll  (s.wsj.net) (28)
(CBS News)   No winner in Alaska Senate election until Thanksgiving because write-in candidate Murkowski's name may not have been spelled properly  (cbsnews.com) (173)
(The Smoking Gun)   4Chan is being investigated by the feds. Go ahead and take a wild guess why  (thesmokinggun.com) (638)
(Telegraph)   After unbanning Youtube, Turkey re-bans youtube after possibly seeing a sideboob  (telegraph.co.uk) (83)
(Telegraph)   Indian woman completes 'ten year hunger strike' over ongoing beef with officials  (telegraph.co.uk) (21)
(CNN)   While they were busy saving Oklahoma from Sharia law, state legislators may have also invalidated the use of the Ten Commandments as a political tool. Hero, Follow-up tag look at each other, confused  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (378)
(herald sun)   The only thing worse than having to fight a pride of lions is to attempt it wet, soapy and naked  (heraldsun.com.au) (38)
(Some Guy)   How often can you read the phrase "horrible vaginal odor" in the newspaper? Not often, but here we are  (jacksonnewspapers.com) (316)
(Beatcalls)   The crisp air, the squirrels gathering acorns for winter, the escaped convicts hiding in beautifully colored fallen foliage - ahhhh, how I love autumn  (beatcalls.com) (10)
(MSNBC)   What happened to please and thank you? Did you forget civility, you ungrateful bastard?  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (113)
(Free Press)   Good day: winning $20,000 in Canadian casino. Bad day: getting it seized at the border in Detroit for failing to declare it  (freep.com) (74)
(CNN)   'Hiccup girl' lawyer explores possible brain disorder defense, but advises client not to hold her breath  T-Shirt  (cnn.com) (33)
(Some Snail)   Photoshop this "spiral staircase"  (3.bp.blogspot.com) (16)
(PennLive)   Protip: If a hit man accepts $1200 to kill your wife, he's probably not a real hit man  (pennlive.com) (92)
(My Fox Dallas)   Raccoons Bite Sleeping 9-Month-Old Baby. w/click-to-enlarge pic of what a baby-biting raccoon might look like  (myfoxdfw.com) (58)
(Daily Mail)   Nebraska teenager conveniently dressed as a breathalyzer pulled over for drunk driving, asked to blow himself  T-Shirt  (dailymail.co.uk) (32)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 287: "Defunct." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (180)
(Herald Sun)   Qantas Airbus A380 "sheds parts" before making an emergency landing in Indonesia, where the survivors will be covered in volcanic ash and washed away by a tsunami  T-Shirt  (heraldsun.com.au) (136)

Wed November 03, 2010
(Daily Mail)   "Miss Sexy" brand garments banned from high school because they are 'unhelpful' to learning  (dailymail.co.uk) (98)
(CNN)   A day late and a dollar short: the Fed unveils new $600 bn stimulus plan  (money.cnn.com) (186)
(WINK)   "After it happened we all started laughing like 'who throws a can of beans and where do you get a can of beans at a nightclub'? Theres nowhere around here you can get a can of beans. It's a miracle where he got them from"  (winknews.com) (47)
(SLTrib)   When you were a little girl wondering what your life will be like when you grow up, you probably didn't imagine it would include being arrested in the bathroom of an Office Depot while you huffed canned air  (sltrib.com) (158)
(The New York Times)   At least 25% of all food produced in the US goes uneaten straight into the garbage. Dr. Zoidberg head first in dumpster and unavailable for comment  (well.blogs.nytimes.com) (133)
(NYPost)   YouTube decides that videos of radical cleric Anwar al Awlaki are more offensive than videos of you at the local karaoke bar  (nypost.com) (161)
(BBC)   More than 2,000 years later, the Virgin Mary's evil counterpart has achieved immaculate conception  (news.bbc.co.uk) (164)
(Huffington Post)   Barack Obama signaled a willingness to compromise with Republicans on tax cuts and energy policy Wednesday. Yes *snicker* maybe THIS time, Republicans will accept compromise. *snort*  (huffingtonpost.com) (606)
(Some Guy)   "If I'm so racist, where'd I get these adorable mixed-race kids?"  (blogs.pitch.com) (454)
(Yahoo)   San Francisco has made it official: You can't be trusted with your own children and you are not good parents. We know what's best, we will make the decisions for you  (news.yahoo.com) (432)
(Some Guy)   Organiser: Why's my premium gone up? Insurer: Because there's a picture of a spectator's face getting burned off last year. Organiser: Meh  (swns.com) (48)
(Adweek)   Australian rum criticized for blowing up crocodile in ad responds by roasting another one on a spit. Oh, snap  (adweek.blogs.com) (101)
(CNN)   In an effort to "take the country back," three high court justices that gave gays equal protection under the law are going back to private practice. The first instance of removing a judge since the option existed in 1962  (cnn.com) (496)
(BBC)   Large Hadron Collider set to recreate the Big Bang this month. Because look how well that worked out last time  (bbc.co.uk) (176)
(Kansas City)   Missouri Prop B passes. Biatches be celebratin'  (kansascity.com) (250)
(The Smoking Gun)   TSA airport official was just having a little fun on the job. Jeez, people are *so* uptight  (thesmokinggun.com) (70)
(Slate)   The tubes of the internet are being clogged by NetFlix  (slate.com) (244)
(Bloomberg)   You know that government study that showed how the top U.S. wage earners had seen their pay quintuple in 2009? Turns out that someone forgot to carry the one or something  (bloomberg.com) (182)
(The Times of India)   How to fight global warming: Create a large banner, then fly around the world and show it to kids  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (21)
(Irish Examiner)   Cunning DJ caught masturbating on an Aer Lingus flight  (irishexaminer.com) (80)
(Some Psycopath)   Feel like blaming the victim? Scientists show it's perfectly justified  (psychologytoday.com) (115)
(College Humor)   Photoshop Theme - If the internet named movies (LGT inspiration)  (collegehumor.com) (111)
(Some Viewer)   "The CNN Panel looks like the cantina scene from Star Wars", and other election coverage analysis. And WTF were all those silly walls of data trying to show?  (cjr.org) (91)
(USA Today)   Hey, wanna see my scar? It's art  (usatoday.com) (58)
(News.com.au)   "Late for work" excuses rise to a new level of facepalm with, "My iPhone didn't properly adjust to Greenwich Mean Time"  (news.com.au) (54)
(Washington Post)   The way Fox News was celebrating election results last night, you'd almost think they weren't really an independent news station  (washingtonpost.com) (376)
(Life.com)   Say what you like about national complacency, but the way the American people have sacrificed, tightened belts, and shared the pain of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan is an inspira ... Nah, just joking. It's a disgrace  (life.com) (191)
(Some Kung Fu Panda)   The Atlanta Zoo is welcoming the addition of a new baby Panda. You can watch it from 10:00 am until 5:00 pm EST on the Pandacam. Where's the Awwww tag when you need it  (zooatlanta.org) (53)
(Palm Beach Post)   When the 911 dispatcher asked Bruneau if his mother was conscious, he responded, "No, she doesn't have a brain, sir.'' (with, yeah, that boy ain't right in the head mugshot)  (palmbeachpost.com) (245)
(News.com.au)   Parking enforcement is so aggressive in Queensland, tow trucks are even towing tow trucks  (news.com.au) (29)
(Metro)   From the "cannot be unread" file: Grandmother, 62, has sex with 200 toyboys in two years  (metro.co.uk) (186)
(Some Guy)   You never see this kind of thing with forks, just sayin'  (news.malaysia.msn.com) (14)
(AOL News)   "Anybody can shoot a guy -- but not everyone can stay awake for so long"  (aolnews.com) (50)
(SMH)   In this corner, we have a 61-year-old invalid with a walking stick. In the opposing corner, we have the 23-year-old who is breaking into his apartment. Gentlemen, place your bets  (smh.com.au) (42)
(BBC)   "This is a very proud moment for me. I've always dreamt of winning a Grierson Award ever since I first heard about them two weeks ago"  (bbc.co.uk) (18)
(Guardian.com)   Did Sarah Palin excludiate Republicans from the Senate? I'm not certaintific, but the possibilitasticals seem to have been embiggened  (guardian.co.uk) (342)
(insidenova.com)   Skeleton whose Swiper was swiped returned. Still no pics of hot chick in costume  (www2.insidenova.com) (35)
(About.com)   If you're a sheriff, it's bad enough when you have to arrest someone you know. But it's worse to hear from a friend that they had to arrest your son on terrorism charges  (weirdnews.about.com) (23)
(Palm Beach Post)   Election results delayed due to worker error in Palm Beach County. This is not a repeat from 2000  (palmbeachpost.com) (93)
(News.com.au)   Just because the woman you're operating on is a widow, that doesn't mean she's not going to complain when you cut out her clitoris  (news.com.au) (219)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop theme: unfortunate picture placements  (nbc.com) (31)
(AOL News)   Toddler falls out of eighth-floor window, bounces off awning and is caught in the arms of a bystander. Man is immediately signed to a two-year contract with the Vikings  (aolnews.com) (64)
(Stuff)   Fluffy handcuffs, nipple tickler, lace G-string combo set. For kids  (stuff.co.nz) (105)
(My Fox Orlando)   Insurance company uses the Monty Python defense to avoid payout to wounded soldier  (myfoxorlando.com) (131)
(Some Guy)   If you're homeless and must sleep in a cave until the government finds you a home, this is the most awesome cave you could sleep in  (dailytelegraph.com.au) (50)
(Gizmodo)   If you want to inspire today's young people towards a life in science, just tell them that they'll be able to get paid to make bats nosedive onto large sheets of metal  (gizmodo.com) (33)
(Guardian.com)   British policeman makes strong entry in the "how many song titles can you slip into your official statement about shooting a man?" contest  (guardian.co.uk) (78)
(News.com.au)   Woman dresses as skeleton and walks a fox. She should've dressed as Woman Who Doesn't Get Arrested  (news.com.au) (77)
(Canada.com)   Good news, the police found your stolen car. Bad news, the police found your stolen car  (canada.com) (51)
(Post Crescent)   Workers at Wisconsin Toro plant get their Xmas bonus early: 3000 pounds of marijuana in shipping crate  (postcrescent.com) (46)
(Toronto Star)   Klansman with man with blackface in a noose wins Halloween costume contest. This is not a repeat from 1868  (thestar.com) (193)
(The Sun)   Woman claims to have the oldest dog in the world. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (44)
(Canada.com)   Campers mauled by bear lose lawsuit. It was probably because bears have no money  T-Shirt  (canada.com) (71)
(Some Tfette)   Photoshop this boardwalker   (docnz.files.wordpress.com) (15)
(Canoe)   Starbucks defeats woman's hot tea lawsuit. OH, SICK BURN  (cnews.canoe.ca) (107)
(News.com.au)   Massive crater swallows car in Germany, makes a disturbingly guttural noise that could probably be translated as "OM NOM NOM NOM"  (news.com.au) (45)

Tue November 02, 2010
(CBS News)   Republicans regain control of House, vow to fire Robert Sean Leonard (Election thread III, late night edition)  (cbsnews.com) (1742)
(WINK)   Usually one expects to find armed guards at polling places in Third-World countries. But hey, this is Florida  (winknews.com) (32)
(TBO)   Principal bans nine-year-old's backpack after one parent complains it's "too racy." Father: "The cleavage ... is no worse than other backpacks portraying cartoon characters such as Betty Boop"  (www2.tbo.com) (224)
(Talking Points Memo)   Scary Black Panther at Philadelphia polling place turns out to be a "certified poll watcher." You know who else was a certified poll watcher?   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (118)
(Examiner)   Peace activists from Quaker Peace Center denied entrance to the United States. HA HA  (examiner.com) (77)
(Guardian.com)   This is not an election, it's a massacre. (Election Thread Part Deux. Now closed)  (guardian.co.uk) (2309)
(Some Guy)   The man who wrote The Book of Bunny Suicides has returned with a reason to enjoy your bacon: Selfish Pigs (Sponsored link)  (scribd.com) (31)
(NPR)   Wanna touch a stranger? Don't worry, it's art. Warning: creepy slideshow  (npr.org) (66)
(Washington Post)   Shooting at the Marine Corps is one thing. But a Coast Guard recruiting center? That's like picking on the wheelchair kid in PE class, man  T-Shirt  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (119)
(BBC)   Tanzanians elect first albino to office, promises to bring a little color to local politics  (bbc.co.uk) (40)
(Chicago Sun-Times)   They're running down voters with cars at polling places in Chicago  (suntimes.com) (115)
(Some Gilligan)   Photoshop this tropical yard  (aaronroth.net) (12)
(The Atlantic)   What the U.S. can learn from Saudi intelligence  (theatlantic.com) (63)
(SeattlePI)   Good Day: Closing on your first home the same day you get engaged. Bad Day: Finding squatters in your new home who've posted a fake deed on the door and changed the locks. Worse Day: The bank does nothing, leaving you homeless  (seattlepi.com) (163)
(Some Guy)   Comedy Central releases typically unfunny statement about nothing important  (indecisionforever.com) (437)
(NPR)   Will Meek inherit America's wang? Will teabagging your opponent prove to be useful, or just a little gay? Will the anti-masturbation witchcraft jokes end? Will Boehner finally swell in the ranks of the Senate? (Closed thread)  (npr.org) (1851)
(Guardian.com)   John McCain, who has so many luxury mansions he doesn't even know how many he owns, is bashing Harry Reid for living in a penthouse. Well ok then  (guardian.co.uk) (67)
(Some Guy)   "Drew Curtis of Fark has won"  (redesign.rumormiller.com) (590)
(Hartford Courant)   Captain America and Spiderman team up to battle Poison Ivy and an old guy  (courant.com) (33)
(FARK)   A white NaCl rollercoaster ride, facing D-10tion, and getting bit by a snake between holes: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/24 - 10/30  (fark.com) (71)
(CNN)   Zach Galifianakis apparently smoked cloves or something on Bill Maher's show, not weed. It's still real to ME dammit   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (136)
(My Fox DC)   Proof that everything on Pennsylvania Ave. is busted  (myfoxdc.com) (36)
(Globe and Mail)   KFC's Double Down is officially healthier than an egg  (theglobeandmail.com) (214)
(Government Technology)   An alternative to today's politics and whose-side-is-better bickering, here's something we can all agree the government has done right: the first federal building that generates as much energy as it uses  (govtech.com) (107)
(Some Guy)   Georgia's first strike in the War on Christmas to fall next Friday. Is it just me, or is Christmas starting earlier every year?  (romenews-tribune.com) (107)
(The Daily Beast)   CO Governor's race: Palin endorses race-baiting former Congressman who was so rabid, he was banned from the Bush White House  (thedailybeast.com) (238)
(NYPost)   How does Quentin Tarantino celebrate Halloween? He dresses up like a Mexican wrestler and drives around in a bus filled with women crashing parties  (nypost.com) (89)
(Some Nut)   North Carolina man uses candy bar as bait to capture Bigfoot on thermal camera (with video proof goodness)  (myfox8.com) (153)
(Talking Points Memo)   Minnesota teabaggers love America so much they're telling their followers to ignore a Federal Judge's anti-electioneering ruling   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (383)
(The New York Times)   Just because a debt collector signs a sworn statement and gives testimony affirming that they personally double-checked your paperwork, doesn't mean they actually did  (nytimes.com) (85)
(USA Today)   Customers react to the TSA's new enhanced security measures: "They patted me down like I've never been patted down before. I mean every inch of my body, which kind of surprised me"  (usatoday.com) (512)
(Some Guy)   Customer uses squash to foil robbery attempt. That's using your gourd  (wmur.com) (27)
(USA Today)   Electronic cigarettes may finally have found the market that will realize their potential: airlines  (usatoday.com) (134)
(MSNBC)   Not news: Four-year-old suspended from kindergarten over long hair. Fark: That he was growing to donate to cancer victims in his grandfather's memory  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (205)
(Cincinnati Enquirer)   Touchdown Jesus to be replaced by Bassmaster Jesus (with 'it was this big...' picture)  (news.cincinnati.com) (129)
(St. Petersburg Times)   Judge will score DUI contestants on BAC, form and finishing position in manslaughter trial  (tampabay.com) (29)
(Globe and Mail)   Polio on the verge of eradication, with only Turkmenistan, the Central African Republic, Nigeria and California to go  (theglobeandmail.com) (85)
(News.com.au)   Four years after their miraculous survival at sea, the camera used by rescued divers washes ashore--with pictures of their rescue still intact (Jose Cuervo Cue Moment of the Week)  (news.com.au) (79)
(Some Guy)   Laboratory scientists have conclusively found ninjas at the cellular level  (financialexpress.com) (31)
(SMH)   Way down under they have a tradition, it's the election night Limerick mission. There will be political duels, between rhyme making fools, and it is certain that there will be no contrition [Fark election Limerick thread]  (smh.com.au) (222)
(Wikipedia)   Photoshop theme: something we really didn't expect to see this Election Day  (en.wikipedia.org) (38)
(Reuters)   Bomb goes off at Swiss Embassy in Athens, injuries remain neutral  (reuters.com) (49)
(Some Guy)   Pennsylvania demands beer distributors stop selling alcoholic energy drinks. In other news, Pennsylvania sells beer  (whptv.com) (212)
(Washington Post)   Once the Republicans have finished taking back power, they're gonna have some scores to settle. Starting with Wal-Mart  (washingtonpost.com) (165)
(Yahoo)   Take-out pizza chain hiring. Must be at least 18 years old, no experience required. Uniform provided. Salary: $31,000 an hour  (uk.news.yahoo.com) (57)
(Metro)   Man installs Boeing 747-400 in his spare bedroom, still has no chance of joining the mile high club  (metro.co.uk) (62)
(Daily Mail)   Britain's fattest teenager regains her crown, promptly eats it  (dailymail.co.uk) (197)
(Stuff)   Lebanon claims record for world's largest glass of wine. Or, as Farkers call it, a "good start"  (stuff.co.nz) (18)
(Fox News)   Fox News warns that Jon Stewart shiat upon Fark.com. LOL WUT  (foxnews.com) (lots)
(My San Antonio)   When you put prison inmates in charge of creating vehicle inspection stickers, don't expect them to understand the finer points of copyright law  (mysanantonio.com) (36)
(Daily Mail)   Quick....cover the dead guy....the Pagans might be offended  (dailymail.co.uk) (66)
(Some Hot Guy)   Tip: If a little old lady asks to buy an incinerator, you might want to ask why  (vancouversun.com) (12)
(Daily Mail)   Fifth female guard at a prison admits to having sex with an inmate. They were just making sure the convicts were doing hard time  (dailymail.co.uk) (64)
(KTVZ)   Research says despite encouraging shady activities, trees actually deter violent crime  (ktvz.com) (23)
(Daily Mail)   Serving on a jury is easy. Just listen carefully, weigh the evidence, and don't send love notes to the court officer  (dailymail.co.uk) (13)
(Some Tfette)   Photoshop this Darwin and his species  (mcmanusplays.com) (17)
(Telegraph)   Researchers say people who regularly socialize are more likely to suffer sleep problems - unless they socialize with researchers, and then the problem is staying awake  (telegraph.co.uk) (16)
(NPR)   Farker gets NPR soundbite at DC Rally. Bonus: In support of beer, delicious beer (audio at 1:55)  (npr.org) (46)
(Daily Record (UK))   And the answer is: (c) a testicle, his wedding finger, an ear and two toes  (dailyrecord.co.uk) (67)
(Like Some Guy)   "The driver began to curse at Sarmientos before striking her in the eye with the heel of her stiletto shoe"  (wfaa.com) (33)

Mon November 01, 2010
(Boston Globe)   High School students suspended for bringing deadly weapon to school. Fark: a horse  (boston.com) (163)
(WRAL)   Woman arrested for indecent exposure twice in 10 days after standing naked in front of traffic. W/ do not want mugshot  (wral.com) (75)
(Some Guy)   Some days you get the porcupine. Some days the porcupine gets you  (pressherald.com) (64)
(Baltimore Sun)   Having a nitrous oxide tank at your Halloween party bonfire sounded awesome until Darwin showed up  (baltimoresun.com) (112)
(The Smoking Gun)   Let these costumed mugshots help ease your post-Halloween hangover with soothing schadenfreude  (rss.thesmokinggun.com) (97)
(Gawker)   Photoshop this abandoned Russian plane  (cache.gawkerassets.com) (30)
(MSNBC)   Elephant smuggling ring busted; presumably because it's hard to hide a four-ton pachyderm under your coat  (msnbc.msn.com) (52)
(Some Guy)   Is that a gun in your pants or are you....oh  (woodtv.com) (45)
(Forbes)   Movie directorship 101 : If you are filming a scene with a masked gunman, it's probably best to alert the armed night watchman  (forbes.com) (34)
(FARK)   Jon Stewart to Reddit: you don't matter  (fark.com) (5916)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)   For some reason researchers can't find enough human guinea pigs willing to ingest untested drugs in order to see what it does to them  (cleveland.com) (64)
(Washington Post)   Democratic campaign group's online phone bank allows unregistered visitors to see and call up to 7 potential voters. Nope, I don't see any way that this could possibly be abused  (washingtonpost.com) (66)
(AZCentral)   Proving himself to be a true 'merikan, Sheriff Joe kept a secret payroll log, separate from the official records  (azcentral.com) (124)
(Huffington Post)   Old and bus ... ah, screw it. Indiana prepares for riots at unemployment offices  (huffingtonpost.com) (213)
(SLTrib)   The day you found yourself in a cave picking through thousand-year-old owl vomit in search for clues about climate change is probably the same day you wondered why you went to college in the first place  (sltrib.com) (50)
(AJC)   Question: What happens when it's October, you are fishing from a kayak, a non-swimmer, you do not have a life preserver? Answer: do you really not know?  (ajc.com) (59)
(NPR)   "Independents just vote for whoever is out of power." Voting for lulz as it were  (npr.org) (229)
(New York Daily News)   Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to climb the fence around the hungry lions' enclosure son  (nydailynews.com) (56)
(The Sun)   Woman who was shoved in front of a train turns out to be a man. Woman who shoved her in front of train also turns out to be a man. The Sun is beside itself  (thesun.co.uk) (41)
(Philly)   A lot more people will biatch about politics as usual than the number who show up to actually vote  (philly.com) (105)
(Yahoo)   Eight years later, the trial of Elizabeth Smart's kidnapper is set to begin, although the defendant's facial hair is still demanding to be tried separately  (news.yahoo.com) (59)
(NYPost)   Things are getting better for the struggling mom who received a handwritten note from President Obama saying "things will get better" regarding her finances: she sold the letter to an autograph dealer for $7,000  (nypost.com) (54)
(Yahoo)   Sarah Palin proclaims "you blew it, President Obama", presumably referring to his failure to follow her example and quit halfway through his term and make millions criticizing other politicans while offering no real solutions himself  (wsapi13.g.ent.ac4.yahoo.com) (367)
(Yahoo)   The most affordable city in the US is now Oklahoma City, presumably because you can buy the whole thing for a dollar  (realestate.yahoo.com) (62)
(WSB-TV)   Teenager eggs driver's car. Driver bullets teen's body  (wsbtv.com) (162)
(Cambridge Student Newspaper)   "It's tough being an agnostic. You exist constantly caught between those vast, angry pillars of religious fundamentalism and new atheism"  (varsity.co.uk) (849)
(WSB-TV)   While you've already made a series of poor decisions in cutting a hole into a liquor store roof and tripping the alarm inside, you should probably try to avoid leaping from the roof of the store during your escape  (wsbtv.com) (18)
(Yahoo)   If I didn't know better, I'd think this 52 hostages dead in a church thing was actual violence in Iraq. But I know better  (wsapi34.g.ent.ac4.yahoo.com) (73)
(AL.com)   The second-tallest building in Mobile, Alabama will display a giant Moon Pie for the city's New Year's Eve celebration. "You've got to see it to really appreciate it"  (blog.al.com) (38)
(BBC)   Australian man saves woman from an attacking Great White by grabbing its tail. Then, as the girl started to sink, he grabbed her and brought on board a boat all while being weighed down by his gigantic steal balls  (bbc.co.uk) (96)
(some site)   Octomom says she wants to stay off public assistance, go back to school and get a master's degree in counseling. And let little gnomes pay her bills  (parentdish.com) (90)
(Entertainment Weekly)   28 TV reunions you'd like toOH COME ON, FULL HOUSE and THE O.C.?? REALLY???  (ew.com) (319)
(Herald Tribune)   Drunk, wearing a diaper and chasing kids is no way to spend Halloween, unless you're from Florida  (heraldtribune.com) (26)
(Google)   Photoshop theme: The secret lives of cartoon characters  (google.com) (47)
(BBC)   AIDS is such a big problem in South Africa that now even Jesus Christ himself has the High Five  (bbc.co.uk) (116)
(NPR)   Clowns offended at being compared to politicians, even though both scare adults  (npr.org) (32)
(Metro)   Nude cleaning agency launched by hard-up students, those crazy kids [w/Not safe for work underwear pic]  (metro.co.uk) (99)
(ABC News)   Overwhelmed by debt? Don't feel bad, the average American is $16,000 in debt, not including a mortgage  (abcnews.go.com) (583)
(Canada.com)   Norwegian Miss World contestant Mariann Birkedal now frontrunner for 2011 Nobel Prize  (canada.com) (49)
(Some Guy)   North Carolina house candidate Randy Wolfe (D-runk) takes his campaign web site offline after getting a DUI arrest Saturday and another Sunday  (www2.journalnow.com) (125)
(Yahoo)   Only your doctor can recommend medical marijuana, so ask your caregiver if medical marijuana is right for you. Side effects may include, giggling, cottonmouth, uncontrollable hunger, glassy stares, drooling, and memory loss  (news.yahoo.com) (70)
(Some Guy)   Fang dental implants? Check. Sleep in a coffin? Check. Drive a hearse? Check. Register as a sex offender? D'OH  (1035superx.com) (31)
(Daily Mail)   Number of consecutive weeks without an airline CEO says that airport security sucks: 0  (dailymail.co.uk) (51)
(Some Coloradan)   Before you go to the police station to surrender on outstanding warrants, it might be wise to remove the body from your trunk  (krdo.com) (24)
(My Fox DC)   After the flight landed in Baltimore, the strange odor that filled the plane didn't seem so bad anymore  (myfoxdc.com) (40)
(NPR)   Blame grandma if you can't find a job. Employers don't have to pay her health insurance, and she can be paid in hugs  (npr.org) (89)
(STV.tv)   4,000 pale and sickly-looking folks shuffle through Glasgow early on Sunday morning. Fewer than usual, apparently  (news.stv.tv) (28)
(News.com.au)   I Ink, therefore I am  (news.com.au) (151)
(Some staines)   The town of Staines, UK wants to be renamed, strangely wants to retain the Staines bit  (getsurrey.co.uk) (59)
(The New York Times)   Some people douse themselves in cologne and body spray. And then there are these people  (nytimes.com) (438)
(AOL News)   With population growth causing our drinking water supplies to diminish, will we: A) discover new sources of fresh water; B) find inexpensive desalinization solutions, or P) find a way to recycle something else efficiently?  (aolnews.com) (151)
(The Local (Sweden))   Please remember to always take care when recycling your dead goats  (thelocal.se) (16)
(News.com.au)   China begins massive door-to-door tally of its 1.2 billion residents. Those not wanting to be counted have already taken leave of their census  (news.com.au) (42)
(LA Times)   San Diego bank robbery ends with the arrest of two rotten apples from the Corps  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (96)
(Independent)   Hottie in a shocking-pink PVC dress, pink wig and lace tights takes British National Scrabble championship. Afterwards he headed for the pub to celebrate his win  (independent.co.uk) (77)
(UPI)   80-year old man has run at least a mile a day, every day since 1974. Unfortunately, he's now 39,000 miles from home  T-Shirt  (upi.com) (34)
(Telegram)   Photoshop this game of Operation  (telegram.com) (18)
(Beatcalls)   Man breaks into home and hides in the attic so he can wait for the perfect time to steal: a) expensive jewelry. b) Social Security and credit card information. c) bear-shaped soap?  (beatcalls.com) (12)
(KTVB-7)   Drive-In movie theatre's "Trunk Or Treat" horror festival turns triage after surprise guest appearance by Airborne Toxic Event. No, not the band  (ktvb.com) (54)
(Courier Mail)   Calling someone "mate" can now land you in jail  (couriermail.com.au) (105)

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Cuervo Cue Moments