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Sun March 07, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Five people who changed the world from inside of prison
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Channel)
 
 
 
Historical Hindenburg site burns down: "Somehow something in there ignited and it just went up really quickly"
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(970 WFLA)
 
 
 
When stealing lottery tickets, resist the urge to redeem your winners at the same store you robbed
source: 970wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Verizon says that a death certificate is not enough to prove that a person is dead, continues to bill dead man
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
So what do you do if you're 45 years old and can't bear to hang up your pompoms?
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
He is a graffiti artist, and the police cruiser is his canvas
source: santacruzsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Darling, a prostitute saved my life." Oh, did I say "actual headline"? I meant to say "famous last words"
source: theobserver.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Man has spent 34 years proving to police he's not an escaped criminal. Oh, and it was the Denver police who gave the criminal the man's identity. Oh, and the best way for the man to prove he's not the criminal? Drop his pants
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cheese eaters
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(People Pets)
 
 
 
And now, for no particular reason, here are some photos of Caplin Rous -- the world's largest domesticated rodent
source: peoplepets.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Most parents are protective of their daughters and are dubious of their boyfriends. But most parents don't bring their two grown sons to hold the boyfriend against their will and pistol whip him. That's where this mom is different
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
American born Al Qaeda member, Adam Gadahn, may or may not have been arrested in Pakistan
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Home-schooling parents are having a hard time finding science books that don't use the same explanation for everything
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
"Your honor, that man is a monster. He assaulted that poor little snowflake." "I call BS, the kid is a brat. Charges dismissed and will the deputy please escort said brat to the slammer."
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Too chicken to dump your significant other? This guy will call them, dump them for you, record the ensuing hilarity, and post it on Youtube, all for only $10
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Oh, and some elections occured in some Middle East country today
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Because young adults are noted for following the advice of authority figures, Texas police decide to promote tourism to Mexico
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colorful collection
source: festpicture.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SLO Tribune)
 
 
 
Submitter's father worked in the cafeteria to pay for college. Submitter worked computer help desk. These days, kids get jobs counting roadkill
source: sanluisobispo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
If your car is stolen Worcester police may or may not find it, but city meter maids definitely will
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Cambridge Chronicle)
 
 
 
What are the odds that a police officer would show up at Dunkin Donuts right as a thief walked out the door?
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If you're wondering why you haven't seen many stories about shark attacks this year, it's because there are fewer attacks. So here's a story about that
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
You Farkers can keep resting easy. Exercise is useless. However, you might have to put down the bacon
source: montrealgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Today's "Naked Burglar Makes Himself At Home" headline brought to you by the chief of all Naked Burglar states (with "yeah, I'd do it again" pic)
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Does a school have the right to punish a student for an act committed on the weekend? Welcome to New Jersey
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
You know all those commercials that try to show teens just how bad binge drinking can be for them? This is Fark, you know the results
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man has a mountain of sand and hangs women's underwear outside his home. And then it gets weird. (w/video)
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
9/11 now joins "Homosexuality in Iran" and "The Holocaust" on Ahmadinejad's list of "Things that don't exist". Unicorns seen fleeing from Iran. Or were they?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Peter Griffin wanted for questioning (LGT video)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
HA HA HA... Go ahead Bro, tase me again
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this telescope
source: telescopeguides.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville restaurants are key sponsors of the Jamaican dogsled team in this year's Iditarod. In other news: There's a Jamaican dogsled team
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
They see me rollin'... They hatin'
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
"Coke-tail" waitress. Get it, coketail waitress? Anyway, she sues her boss for snorting cocaine off her shoulder. With a thank you God yessireebob I'd hit it pic
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Achievement Unlocked: Leaving your infant daughter to die of neglect because you're too busy raising a virtual child online. Bonus: Both parents arrested and charged
source: videogames.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat March 06, 2010
(History Channel)
 
 
 
Theme: Shows we'd like to see on the History Channel
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Pissed Off Texan)
 
 
 
Judge sues Wal-Mart and Sam's Club, claiming that their poor customer service caused him to be involuntarily institutionalized
source: brownsvilleherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Tractor trailer containing 30,000 pounds of yogurt rolls over on I-91 in Northampton. Culture comes to Western Massachusetts
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Two dead after small plane traveling from Indianapolis to Pennsylvania crashes in Ohio, presumably when the plane figured out that it was flying to Pennsylvania
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Cccopppsss rrresppponddd to cccall fffrommm wwwommmannn rrregggardddinggg ssstttrrrange nnnoisssesss cccommminggg fffrrrommm innnsssiddde hhherrr hhhoussse
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Drug dealer has a doormat that says "Come back with a warrant." You're on Fark, so you know what happened next
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Dog and cheetah become friends at Oregon safari park. Dog nicknames cheetah "fastcat" while cheetah's nickname for the dog is "emergency lunch"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Not news: Two men arrested for fighting. Fark: Over someone's favorite parking spot at McDonald's
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two teens in California go missing within a couple days of each other. One is hot, one not. Guess which one got media attention
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Canada scraps plan to change national anthem from "O Canada" to "2112"; as a backup, organizers were willing to concede to adopting "Temples of Syrinx" but the plan failed
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Catholic preschool bars re-enrollment of child with two mommies. (Sadly, no pics of what two mommies might look like)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Yeah, about that sainthood... um, mebbe not. Woman "cured" by Pope John Paul II is ill again
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Woman gets her fingers bitten off by bear at a zoo after ignoring barriers and warning signs. Alcohol played a part, as if that needed to be stated
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this entrance to the real world
source: gallery.photo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Three college kids steal stuffed gorilla from museum, take pictures of it in wigs, then return it. They finally come forward, 54 years later
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Forget 2012, the world is over: Cleveland Cavaliers fans create world record for Most Snuggies Worn
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Not news: Person spends $44 million on nine waterfront mansions. Fark: Person is 11-years-old
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ecanadanow)
 
 
 
Woman sues after doctor gives her an extra set of breasts. Eccentrica Gallumbits feels inadequate
source: ecanadanow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
It's another free Guinness give away. Don't forget your towels
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Your dog wants steak, and will soon be able to sue you for it
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
How Would Jesus Exercise? English rector evicts tai chi class from church hall after deciding exercise routines were not compatible with Christianity
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Dear God, the Cylons ARE coming
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Craigslister)
 
 
 
Nicholas Cage could have saved himself a lot of trouble by just buying this rare copy of the Declaration of Independence for only $8000
source: daytona.craigslist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Norwegian tanker hijacked off of Madagascan coast. Penguins on the deck seen waving and acting cuddly
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Farker)
 
 
 
I think this guy's onto something. Subby wonders what his FARK handle is
source: orient.bowdoin.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The most discriminated group in America. Is it African-Americans? Hispanics? Christians? Nope... it's the prancing poofters, of course
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Ski mask? Check. Gun? Check. Getaway vehicle and driver? Check. Intended target is a fully locked, drive-through only bank, with several witnesses in line? Fark
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Dog Loving Guy)
 
 
 
Judge to rule if the case against vicious 10 year old dachshund should proceed or be dismissed. Vet tech "only concerned he might bite his owner or someone else" and in no way is seeking revenge on the animal
source: coloradodaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochdale Observer)
 
 
 
Psychotherapist charged with acting like there are a couple well-placed spaces in his title
source: rochdaleobserver.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hungry cat who got whiskers stuck in Whiskas can can now go home for Caturday
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
2012 Olympics: Police will have powers to enter private homes and seize posters, and will be able to stop people carrying non-sponsor items to sporting events
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Man sues airline for not looking at his scrotum
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slow pedestrian
source: imgs.sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KeysNews)
 
 
 
Once again: You shouldn't be shaving your privates while driving, especially if you have a suspended license: "She was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready"
source: keysnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Undercover cop spends $16,835 on more than 130 lap dances without making a single arrest
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Woman decapitated by a freak lawnmower accident as she heads off to work
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
27 year old female ballet teacher has appeared in court accused of abducting one of her boy pupils and having sex with him. With 'I'd hit that like the fist of an angry god' pic
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
In Detroit, 44% of all adults and 100% of school board presidents read and write below 6th-grade level
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Tranquilized monkeys like to duck behind drug stores and churches when evading capture, apparently
source: cbs4denver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
41 year old female teacher sends nude photos of herself via text to a 15 year old boy. With "Yes I would hit that" picture goodness
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri March 05, 2010
(Some Guys)
 
 
 
Photoshop this aerospace adjustment
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
Senator says NOAA's red snapper count is fishy
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If the view from your Upper East Side penthouse is getting stale, consider a 40,000 square foot estate that has a different view each day
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Bacon. Has crispy smoked pork finally jumped the shark?
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
We're number one! It's the Mugshot Roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
This is the woman who crashed her Honda repeatedly into a Ferrari dealership... well, before she became a meth queen
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
An AIG employee on the possibility of losing his blood money: "To be honest with you, I really hope it blows up. I think the U.S. taxpayer deserves to lose a trillion dollars over this thing for the way they have behaved"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Life.com)
 
 
 
Puppy rescued from rubble after Chile's week of earthquakes
source: life.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
If you're a woman who fancies the bad boy type, perhaps corrections officer isn't an optimal line of business (with surprisingly hittable pic)
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
News: The Catholic Church's child abuse scandal spreads to Germany, including to the Regensberg choir. Fark: The Pope's brother led the choir for 30 years
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Man banned from all Wal-Marts for life because he refused to show his receipt to a door greeter. Guess he'll shop at K-Mart from now on
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Maine man arrested after shooting the Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na, Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na Batbus
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
News: One man shot in shoulder by another man. News+: After "ramming each other like bumper cars" in road rage. Fark: "It is unclear at this time which driver was shot" according to the Police Detectives
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
There are more bars than grocery stores in many flyover states. Take THAT, you rich, uppity, coast-residing bastards
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Candy Boots)
 
 
 
Weight Watchers recipe cards from 1974. No need to actually make these dishes to slim down, one look at the pictures and you'll lose your appetite for a week
source: candyboots.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
If you're a landlord and you want to order the intentional torching of your building, the least you can do is make sure that the family of seven up in the attic isn't home at the time
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
"A red kangaroo that is goaded into fighting a human clown is the star attraction at a festival in the US designed to celebrate Australia"
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Hen that thinks it's a dog takes litter of puppies under its wing
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Funny Or Die)
 
 
 
Stan Lee pleads his case for winning an Oscar for Best Cameo Artist
source: funnyordie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Village Voice)
 
 
 
Gay Catholic ex-stripper awaits birth of twins carried by sister's husband. Ta-da
source: blogs.villagevoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slick-surface slide
source: sportpicture.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Blogger who said Tillicum should have been euthanized, according to the Bible, protests that he never said the whale should be stoned to death. "Even if you wanted to stone a whale, I'm not sure how you'd go about it"
source: afa.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Armed robbers in $1 million perfume warehouse heist who shouted "NYPD, hands up" may be criminals, but at least they're not liars
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Casey Morans)
 
 
 
Chicago Fark Party reminder: Saturday, April 10th, 8pm at Casey Morans. Drew will be there and so will YOU
source: caseymorans.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
A group coined the Bling Ring burglarized celebrity homes. It was like Mission Impossible meets 90120
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wptv.com)
 
 
 
If your laptop is stolen it's always a good idea to report it to police. Unless it's loaded with child porn
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS11tv.com)
 
 
 
Texas judge rules death penalty unconstitutional: "I don't think society's mindset is that way now." But this isn't society--it's Texas
source: cbs11tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The first clue was that "Prophet" has a homonym
source: blogs.abcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Pentagon Metro shooter liked to post anti-government rants online that claim our political system attacks moral values. You know, as opposed to shooting random people
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Sweezy was intoxicated and became irate when I asked him to step off the go-kart and began to curse and yell"
source: goupstate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WZZM 13)
 
 
 
Because apparently some people do need to be told this: Craigslist is an entirely inappropriate place to arrange your circumcision
source: wzzm13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
San Francisco has hit on a brilliant way to get rid of its sewage treatment byproducts: Call them "high-quality, nutrient-rich, organic bio-solids compost" and get gullible hippy gardeners to haul them away for free
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
TSG Friday photo fun: Match the tat to the perp
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Not news: Some eight-year old princess doesn't want to go to school due to bullying. Fark: She really is a Princess
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Flight attendant apparently knew how to speak dive
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Citing the fact that it is just too darned tasty, Japan announces it will not comply with a proposed worldwide ban on fishing Bluefin Tuna designed to help save the potentially endagered species
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
Man claims ownership of entire town, tries to collect rent. Hilarity ensues
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
"It was just like Dukes of Hazzard, all four tires in the air. It was crazy" (w/Duke of Stupid mugshot)
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Motion Picture Association of America's reasons for rating a film PG now include a smoking caterpillar
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hello, police? I need smokes
source: sootoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Tour bus crashes south of Phoenix. The dead are expected to rise within the day
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tiring trek
source: sportpicture.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
British Chinook pilot hit between eyes by bullet over Afghanistan, flies damaged aircraft back to base, lands safely, lives, and all this with huge brass balls weighing helicopter down
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
In a move sure to burnish its reputation as the toughest, most hardcore branch of America's armed forces, Navy fires captain for cursing out sailors and hurting their feelings
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL News)
 
 
 
Actual Headline "New Salmonella Recall Raises Questions About Food Safety", so don't order the salmonella
source: aolnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Charleston Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Boy shoots dog (bad). Boy is sentenced to jail (good). Boy is allowed out for Hank Williams, Jr. concert because his girlfriend spent a lot of money on the tickets (wtf?)
source: dailymail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Show)
 
Video
 
Jon Stewart finally went on Chatroulette, and then he ran into Diane Sawyer, Keith Olbermann, Katie Couric and Brian Williams, who was not expecting to see him
source: thedailyshow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study: Men become more accident prone around beautiful women. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go change my shorts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
34,000 square foot floating island doubles as a yacht
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
It's not your diet of deep fat fried Twinkies, supersized fries and colas and triple double bacon cheeseburgers that is making you fat...it's the germs
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wave of destruction
source: sportpicture.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Nanny state strikes again. Kindergartener suspended from school for making his fingers into the shape of a gun and pointing it at another student
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
US and Canada moving to transgenic pork. But you'll know it's fake, since you can tell by the pig cells
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu March 04, 2010
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
You're a lawyer and you lose your coat in the airport. Whom do you sue? a) the airline b) the airport c) the food vendor d) all of the above
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian rednecks offer "Native Extraction Services" online. What could possibly go wrong?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In a wise use of manpower and resources, cops surround apartment for two hours to wait for a warrant to bust someone for smoking a joint
source: greensburgdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
On a tip, police raid house and take away 18 cats, 3 dogs, the homeowners and 1 teen runaway hidden in a wall
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Author)
 
 
 
An American editor of an Italian journal is sued by an Israeli author for running a negative review by a German about her book which was published in the Netherlands. Obviously, the trial will be held in France
source: thebigquestions.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Underwater bubbles caused by gas stir warming fears. Wives still unamused in the tub
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
You can't shoot in here, this is the Pentagon
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
So you know that data you destroyed that showed your sheriff's department was racially profiling? Good news - we found it for you
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lion who may or may not be king
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
California to pass law creating animal abusers registry. You are not allowed to come within 50 feet of a Petsmart
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man goes to preserve in hopes of catching a glimpse of rare falcon. Instead gets rare glimpse of eagle attacking an adult deer. With awesome pics
source: chicagowildlifenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It is perfectly safe to urinate on a downed powerline
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Funeral home hopes to drum up business by sponsoring a chili cook-off, offering free limo rides, and hosting a visit by the Easter Bunny. "A funeral home is a living, breathing thing"
source: berkshireeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Apocalpyse Guy)
 
 
 
Acceptable end-of-the-world preparation: Building bunkers, stockpiling food, medicine & guns. Unacceptable end-of-the-world preparation: Impregnating three of your daughters
source: northjersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Never try to stop a gyrocopter with your head
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If this Haitian family moves into your neighborhood, you might want to update your earthquake insurance policy
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Don't panic but Three Mile Island is, um, leaking
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(azfamily.com)
 
 
 
From the "So crazy it just might work" department: Arizona lawmakers want to fill abandoned mine shafts with old tires
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Government sources confirm second party involved in JFK incident
source: voices.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Equal opportunity harrassment: Claims by men against women in the workplace doubling. Fark: Twice as many men also happier
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTMJ)
 
 
 
The house? Not enough bathrooms. But good news - plenty of panties
source: wauwatosanow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Ocean erodes barrier island. State environmental official says, "There needs to be a comprehensive focus on what is causing this"
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
To celebrate her birthday, schoolgirl planned to give away lead party favors to 29 of her classmates
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this muddy mistress
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You can help Farker MisterSparkle win a video contest and donate all $250,000 to charity. Cost to you: one mouse click with your clicky mousefinger
source: doritosviralocity.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
China's "Kingdom of the Little People" theme park is both loved and loathed. In other news,China has a dwarf theme park
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Judge orders satirical news Web site to remove a fictional story about a giraffe killing a tourist because it scared Louisianans away from the zoo
source: 2theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
After being charged with aggravated assault and drawing a gun on a family because of road rage, woman quits her job. As a police officer
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Channel)
 
 
 
Suicide is a tough decision. A hearty breakfast could help
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL News)
 
 
 
Authorities say poor visibility, mountainous terrain, and the lack of anything resembling a coastline for 1,000 miles in any direction may have contributed to a COAST GUARD helicopter crashing in UTAH
source: aolnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lifehacker)
 
 
 
National Procrastination Week will be held in a couple of weeks when we get around to it
source: lifehacker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
When Al Sharpton is convening a meeting to determine whether you are too big of an embarassment to continue in the public spotlight, it really is time to resign
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You're such an awesomely bright, tired little boy: Parents short-changing their kids with too much praise, too little sleep
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Skydiving and Kayaking. Two great flavors, together at last
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
It's almost that time again. Sign up for 2010 Fark NCAA Tournament Pick'em. Search on Fark, no pw necessary. Duke sucks
source: games.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
'Parents of the year' front-runners traded sex with their 14-year-old daughter for a 1998 minivan
source: truecrimereport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Age really is a state of mind
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Show)
 
 
 
Sarah Palin Tonight Show standup review: Stewart liked it (with Palin standup goodness)
source: thedailyshow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Ladies, just because its now trendy to have a relationship with men 20 years younger doesn't give you the right to shoot him. This holds especially true if you're a lobbyist for an anti-domestic violence organization
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(www.ndtv.com)
 
 
 
Swiss company markets child-sized condoms to 12 year olds. Because what 12 year olds want is to be seen buying child-sized condoms
source: ndtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
American Cancer Society casts doubt on the value of the UFIA
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
"A lot of us are screwed", admits porn star
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Explosives expert uses controlled blast in Boeing 747 to simulate power of underwear bomb from Detroit-bound flight. Cool video on your port side, comments of variable intelligence on your starboard side
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Boston St Patrick's Day Pub Crawl 2010. March 13th. 1pm. DIT. LGT Facebook event. Please leave your mooninites at home
source: thefieldpub.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Will Michigan get 400 million to imporve schools?
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Kentucky Guy)
 
 
 
Not News: Man loses his job. News: He's a sheriff who improperly used his firearm. Fark: To shoot his way out of the jail cell he locked himself in
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Some people just have the knack for spotting a business opportunity that others would miss
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
"Alicia Butt" blows a .33, urinates on herself. Our job here is done
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Muslims upset over suicide bombings and terror attacks carried out in their name. Just kidding, they're OUTRAGED because a Scottish pub is named Medina
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(thebigmoney.com)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what a hand model's face looks like? Neither have I. But now you'll know, unfortunately, J.B. Pruett unavailable for comment
source: thebigmoney.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Religious reasons may get you out of combat service, medical procedures and explain finicky diets but they won't get you out of airport's naked scanners
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
That's nacho cheese: Man gets nearly 8 years for stealing a bag of shredded cheese. Mmmm... cheese
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this soaking scientist
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you just ate a Mrs. Smith's Coconut Custard pie because you thought the "0g Trans Fats" label meant it was good for you, the FDA would like to remind you that just plain old fat is bad for you too
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Watching "Survivorman" will provide you with everything you need to know in order to survive in the wilderness. Or maybe not
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fairbanks News-Miner)
 
 
 
Not news: Man attempts to pass forged check. News: To buy a pickup truck. Fark: While out on bail for attempting the same trick three other times. Responding officer: "What are you doing?" Perp: "Being stupid"
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Just a normal day at the park; birds singing, people walking their dog, naked woman tied to a tree
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"Sex mad" 19-year-old female cop gets fired after trying to fark everything in a uniform. Someone actually complained about this. Why yes, there is a pic
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 252: "Something's Mising" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed March 03, 2010
(wcnc)
 
 
 
Animal control: Your dogs got loose and you can get them back when you fix your fence. Dog owner: fence is fixed, can I have my dogs please? Animal Control: ummm, yeah, about that
source: wcnc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL News)
 
 
 
We arm the world/We arm the children/We want the world to be a deader place/So let's start killin'
source: aolnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
News: Three LA teachers get suspended. Fark: for giving students pictures of O.J. Simpson, Dennis Rodman and RuPaul to carry in Black History Month parade
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this highly ineffective firefighter
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today's magnitude 6.4 earthquake rocks... southern Taiwan
source: on.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Michelle Bachmann vs Alan Grayson debating health care on Larry King tonight. Popcorn in lap, comments to the right
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you like making lists, you just might be a genius
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWMT)
 
 
 
If you've been tazed twice, maced, and now your only escape vehicle is a 1971 Dodge motor home, give it up man, it's over
source: wwmt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In today's recession, pet washing machines are all the rage in Japan.....Yes Japan (w/video of sad cat getting fluffed)
source: blogs.app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
British Teenager saves a 5 year old girl in North Carolina from being raped without even having to leave home
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Headline: Deer breaks through bank window - no bucks missing. (With possessed deer pic)
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Haaretz)
 
 
 
"Going to raid Qatanah in the West Bank with my IDF unit tomorrow." Comment | Like
source: haaretz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Captain Chesley "Sully" Sullenberger decides to retire
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby tapir makes San Diego Zoo debut...awwwww
source: blogs.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
For the record, carving "I luv Mike Welliver" into a tree trunk can be considered romantic gesture. Carving it into your girlfriend's chest, not so much
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
An event, similar to the Tunguska event in the Siberian forest, is the reason why there are no trees left in Antarctica
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
GOP lawmaker wants Reagan to replace Grant on the US $50 bill, because Reagan is the greatest president ever and all Grant did was WIN THE FARKING CIVIL WAR
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
German scientists have rubbished NASA scientists who claim that the Chile earthquake moved the Earth's axis by eight centimetres. German scientists: "No chance"
source: bild.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some anthropologist)
 
 
 
The new Whole Foods nutrition rating system ignores the entirety of human evolution in favor of political considerations. Unlike Twinkies, which are awesome and will eventually grow wild in couch-shaped bushes
source: livnaked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
If you happen to find Sidney Crosby's Olympic hockey gloves and stick that he tossed in the air after scoring the winning overtime goal against Team USA, 35 million Canadians would like to have a word with you. You can keep the mouth guard
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL News)
 
 
 
In the United States people forge drivers licenses to drink underage. In Switzerland people take it to a much higher level
source: aolnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
It may be acceptable to bring your child to work, but you shouldn't let your child actually perform your job. Especially if you're an air traffic controller
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Tampa the coldest it's been since poodle skirts were in style. With pic of what a poodle skirt may look like
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
This story about a nurse, some handcuffs and a lot of cash is not about what you think it's about
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Today's "newlywed couple spends their wedding night in jail" is brought to you by Hyannis, Mass
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Charles Rangell (D-ranged) to take 'leave of absence' from chairmanship of House Ways and Means Committee. And just ignore those big paper-shredder trucks outside
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
Ohhhhh, you meant THAT bloody knife & clothing in the mentally-ill parolee halfway house
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Religious group wants "Killer" whale punished biblically... and they've got the stones to do it
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lohud.com)
 
 
 
NJ family takes down snow Venus de Milo after complaints that it wasn't orange enough
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wire worker
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Show)
 
Video
 
Jim Bunning is just a d*ck
source: thedailyshow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
When searching for a flat surface to snort your drugs, always try to avoid the unmarked police cars
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Study shows what you long suspected: multitaskers are just screwing up several things at once
source: chronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Animal rights activists call for polar bear to have his Knuts chopped off
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slooh)
 
 
 
Man who predicted 40 inch snowfall for March 7th in interview: "I'm some kinda a kook, you know..."
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTAR)
 
 
 
Arizona governor urges people to volunteer. Would offer paid work, but Arizona is currently bankrupt
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KVIA)
 
 
 
"This incident follows a similar turn of events on Montana Avenue last Friday, when a different emu got loose"
source: kvia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky News)
 
 
 
Former Labour Party leader Michael Foot dies. He was a living leg end
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gothamist)
 
 
 
Detached penis goes missing, now most likely on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven down on Second Avenue near St Mark's Place
source: gothamist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Greeks bend over in anticipation of the change about to be crammed up their Thermopylae
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
When jumping into a plunge pool after a sauna, make sure it isn't boiling
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Where's Osama bin Laden?
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Caption this 16th century inscription. No, really. Please
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Married couples enjoy their best sex, romantic meals and nights out with friends after two years and four months." That's understandable; their friends are probably looking pretty good by then
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're going to tell a guy the vivid details of how you had sex with his ex girlfriend, make sure he's not back together with her. In related news: The Australian term for smashing a glass in someone's face is "glassing"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Headline: Living together more likely to fail than marriage. Article: Difference is explained by the main reason living together fails - IT ENDS IN MARRIAGE
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Arsonist in a bikini was sentenced.... nevermind. Enjoy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Daily Post)
 
 
 
Think atheists don't proselytize? Another myth busted
source: liverpooldailypost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
River overflows its banks, meter maid sees half-submerged cars. He immediately: (a) jumps in to rescue child, (b) donates money to help victims, (c) places tickets on the flooded cars
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Life imitates Cinemax. Flight attendant prostitution ring broken
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Too stupid to learn the terms of your mortgage? The government stepped in to hold your hand. Now whether or not you're too stupid to find your own free credit report the government has decided to hold your hand and show you that way too
source: redtape.msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Drunk cop shows badge to bouncer to demand entry..."I'm here to f------ boogie"
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue March 02, 2010
(WFSB 3)
 
 
 
Nurse manager jumps in front of gunman, takes bullet for coworker; gunman shot in ensuing struggle. Street cred of male nurses increased substantially
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Drinking to forget can have the opposite effect and lead to more painful memories, jaws, ribs, eye sockets
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Topeka changing name to Google, Kansas. Could Farkansas be next?
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spark plug inspection
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Woman goes into labor during her shotgun wedding. Delivers a beatiful little bb boy
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(fox chicago)
 
 
 
Two women to split $98K in reward money for helping police crack the Brown's Chicken massacre case. Actually, one tipped off police. The other one held back the names of the killers for nine years
source: myfoxchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Small southern town seeks guidance from state AG in overturning Sunday alcohol ban. AG: "Uhh... your law banning Sunday booze has been illegal for the last 24 years"
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Wisconsin tags Iowa into the ring in the fight against FIBs
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Quake shifts attention to undersea U.S. fault. Yeah, yeah, everything is always our fault
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(officer.com)
 
 
 
Attempt to steal ATM with front loader fails. "There was no way that they came up with that sober"
source: officer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Human Barbie thinks it's okay to inject her sixteen-year old with botox. Note to self: don't listen to human barbie for beauty advice (w/pic)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Add "being so lazy you walk your dog from your car" to the things now illegal in the Nanny State
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Public safety building declared a hazard to the public
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(brookfield)
 
 
 
"Can I see that $36K diamond ring? I'll be out in the parking lot with it where the light is better"
source: brookfieldnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Bus drivers Kramden to storm sewers, coriolis effect swirlies, and 12-parsec intermissions: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 2/21 - 2/27
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It's okay if you bring your 14-month old to the bar. And it's okay if you get sloshed in front of her. But demanding that other patrons "mind their language" and "stop acting so drunk" is just crossing the line
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this damaged auto and driver
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Study suggests parents should treat their children with same respect as pets
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Man arrested by Secret Service swallows flash drive in bid to destroy evidence. Learns device was not compatible to his gastrointestinal tract
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Children who watch those Baby Wordsworth tapes don't actually learn any words
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
Punishment pending in the lapdancing teacher incident. Fark: To the students who recorded it
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle of Higher Ed)
 
 
 
The story of the rainbow trout in America, the government welfare fish that muscled its way into the nation's coldwater streams
source: chronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
BBC presenter dies in extreme wanking accident
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Two high school basketball players will miss the upcoming state tounament because: A) Their grades are poor, B) they are injured, or C) they both punched the referee during their last game
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
First century Roman crucifixion nail found in archaeological dig -- in an ornate box surrounded by remains of Knights Templar knights
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
That fair fare that makes double entendres swell in size is coming home: Pickle Pops
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
For maximum street cred, engaging in a high-speed chase with cops is okay. Doing it in a pink Mercury with Hello Kitty vanity plates...not so much
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
China, one of the last major holdouts to a global warming treaty, is coincidentally conducting research on how they can make an ice-free Arctic benefit them economically
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
In Malaysia, women can be whipped if they drink a beer in public or have sex out of wedlock. But only Muslim women. Infidel women can be drunken sluts to their heart's content
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Problem: Utility companies can't afford to build nuclear reactors. Solution: Start charging customers for them before they're built
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Court says lawyers who didn't question witnesses, sumbit evidence, or make opening or closing statements in death row case "did the best they could with what they had"
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WANE.com)
 
 
 
Is that a sophisticated camera and audio recording system attached to your right shoe and controls for video and audio in your pockets, or are you just happy to see me?
source: wane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"But no, I haven't lost my marbles. All I can say is that I'm thankful that it didn't rain crocodiles"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Small town in Ireland with population of 5,000 issues diplomatic snub to Israel. "We hope it will send a serious message to Israel."
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
They're heeeere. Well, nearly: Top 10 images of distant horror in the movies
source: shadowlocked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some of the oddest book titles of 2009 are "Afterthoughts of a Worm Hunter," "The Changing World of Inflammatory Bowel Disease," and "What Kind of Bean is This Chichuahua"
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Times Tribune)
 
 
 
"A Scranton man who told police three men jumped him and assaulted him with a razor blade Sunday morning actually cut himself by running through the woods shirtless and punching trees, police said"
source: thetimes-tribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you've been drinking and cops pull you over for speeding, you may still be able to get out of a DUI. Until you back into the squad car
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ACLU)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe has finally run out of ways to deny female prisoners their constitutional rights, is put on notice by the ACLU
source: aclu.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Man charged with faking his own death, with mugshot that suggests he wasn't faking
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If Mythbuster Grant Imahara gets 100,000 followers on Twitter he will build Craig Ferguson a Robot Skeleton Sidekick, and he's only 8,000 away. Perhaps Fark could help make this a reality
source: twitter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Oooooh, shiny
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Boy who sped through Air Force base gets charged with murder... for the passenger shot by security in attempt to stop the speeding car
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
There's a good reason you don't install homemade cardboard roofing insulation while smoking a cigarette
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pocono Record)
 
 
 
Should I not have threatened to kill students and co-workers? Was that wrong?
source: poconorecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Pot found in fifth grader's Fruity Pebbles; no word on the contents of his Honey Smacks
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
In case you missed it, today was Saviours Day 2010, a day where Nation of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan is honored. He spent much of his speech giving advice to President Obama and recalling his 1985 ride aboard a UFO. Good times, good times
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Uproxx)
 
 
 
Awesome works of art made from stuff on your desk. I believe Baptiste Debombourg has my stapler
source: uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Good: Waiting for train to pass before crossing. Bad: Not looking for a train coming the other way
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon March 01, 2010
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
States may ban credit checks on job applicants after realizing that nobody has good credit anymore
source: chicagobreakingbusiness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this double dodol
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
That Chilean earthquake likely shifted the earth on its axis. EVERYBODY TILT
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Owner of building adjacent to Academy Awards arrested for installing illegal "How To Train Your Dragon" sign
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
Audio
 
911 call reporting burglar stuck in chimney. "Quit yer yelling"
source: rainiervalley.komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
7-month old girl survives brush with death from parents' suicidal pact. Tag is for the parents, who did this out of fear of (wait for it... ): Global warming
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
"For advice on confessing, press one. To confess, press two. To listen to some confessions, press three."
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
While crime tends to show an initial decrease during periods of heavy snowfall, local precincts must be prepared for mobile home snow shovel hillbilly second-degree assault rebounds
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
NATO warship sinks pirate ship off Somalia. Article sinks nautical terms per sentence record
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSBT)
 
 
 
If you're going to shoplift supplies for your meth lab from Kmart, make sure you at least leave the lab at home
source: wsbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Who would have guessed an outfit named "Wiseguy Tickets" would hire Bulgarian computer programmers to hack concert ticket Web sites to scoop up tickets to resell to brokers?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
140-year-old hot dog was a hoax. I feel so betrayed. Someone hold me
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this deity dancer
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Colorado Springs has about 75 crossdressers, so the police undergo special training to learn how to be nice to them. Redheaded left-handed blind gay Turkish leather fetishists immediately complain about being ignored
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PC Magazine)
 
 
 
Pew report shows Americans 'graze' news. Pew Pew Pew
source: pcmag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WLWT.COM)
 
 
 
Man who bulldozed home ahead of foreclosure gets his eureka moment too late: auction his carpet business
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Criminal masterminds rob a Domino's delivery driver and steal $36 worth of chicken wings
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Reason number 8,762,592 why Detroit can't have nice things: $600,000 fire truck T-boned by train after being parked on tracks
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Go to lovely Yosemite national park this spring. See the redwoods, visit Glacier Point, and stumble upon the Mexican drug gangs growing marijuana
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Caution for vegetable squeamish: genetically altered sugar beets subject of lawsuit. Your sweet tooth at risk
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Holland Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you're a prosecutor, remember there is a difference between "copping a plea" and "copping a feel." They are not the same thing
source: hollandsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Japan's most bizarre museums feature parasites, luggage, vintage advertising, tobacco, salt, socks, and laundry. Not all at one time, of course
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CentreDaily)
 
 
 
"...the worst we saw yesterday was a drunk young man pooping (in broad daylight) in the front yard of our neighbors across the street - he had to use snow as toilet paper which is a bit of a consolation I guess."
source: centredaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
♪Look for the union label when you are getting threatened vandalized or beatdown.♫
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Northern Advocate)
 
 
 
Police say roadside speed display signs are for entertainment only and should not be taken as an accurate indication of your speed
source: northernadvocate.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Have disposable income and don't know the best way to spend it? How about some cashmere toilet paper?
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman has her house sold via auction because she couldn't pay her bill. Fark: A $68 bill from the dentist
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Pat Robertson offers compassionate words of encouragement to the people of Chile over their natural tragedy. Just kidding. He says they had it coming for making god angry. Bonus:"...personal hero of mine, Augusto Pinochet"
source: open.salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Crammers" may be sneaking bogus charges onto your phone bill for their own profit, which is a total rip-off of the phone company's business model
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
The scene resembled a teenager's bedroom, except for all the naked women
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Air Traffic Controller)
 
 
 
Drunk and naked? Time to head to the airport and divert landing planes
source: topofthenudes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Guy gets six-figure book deal for (seriously) "Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter"
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Something old, something new, something borrowed, and one sex-crazed elephant
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Marijuana use can up the risk of psychosis, according to some scientists THAT I WANT TO KILL
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this hair flare
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
New study indicates approximately 1 in 4 adults now suffers from some form of intellectual disability
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Alright buddy, I saw you feeding that homeless guy over there. Where's your license? Don't have one? Well, you're taking a trip downtown"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Novelist says girls are ready to have children and run a household by age 14
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHIO Dayton)
 
 
 
When babysitting grandchild, do you... a) See a movie, b) Go the park, c) Stage a hostage situation in a metropolitan area
source: whiotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Bad: You get in a car accident . Worse: you knock down a power line. Fark: you piss on a live wire and electrocute yourself
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
There are now bacteria so powerful, the only antibiotics strong enough to kill them (maybe) will also shut down your kidneys. Thanks a lot, Purell
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Former homeless guy now a culinary star - mobs line up for his sandwiches
source: bayarea.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MLive.com)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Man arrested after shooting up hotel room in Albion, putting alarm clock in microwave and leaving note saying 'God delivered me from evil and placed me in Albion'
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Photoshop this epic swimmer
source: resources3.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
75 year old finds dinosaur fossil in his garden
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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