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Sun January 10, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(AP)
 
 
 
Flock of vultures eats woman's house and it's not even dead yet
source: content.usatoday.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dayton Daily News)
 
 
 
Mom's rule to 14-year old daughter: "As long as you are under my roof, and I am paying for the Internet provider that supplies this 'free' service, if you want to be on Facebook you will friend me."
source: daytondailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SlashFilm)
 
 
 
Woman shot during a screening of Avatar. Considering what she was watching, it's highly likely she shot herself
source: slashfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this riveting scene
source: wickedfishgraphics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Uptight Guy)
 
 
 
"People are not facing the fact that porn is dangerous to the core. It sucks every bit of truth, contentment, honesty, character, loyalty, and reality out of the mind and soul of the one plugging into it"
source: kpxq1360.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(GET OUT OF THE WAY)
 
 
 
Weird: Columnist argues the National Enquirer should win the Pulitzer Prize. Fark: She kinda has a point
source: politicsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Inmate sues Penthouse magazine on the grounds that their refusal to fulfill subscription request to prison address does not respect "his basic rights" to kill kittens
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JC Floridian)
 
 
 
Mayor decides to take out city's brand new fire truck out for an impromptu joy ride. If you guessed that he ends up rolling it over in a ditch, come on down and collect your prize
source: www2.jcfloridan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Instead of silver bullets, the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service issue rubber bullets to a rancher dealing with wolves on his land
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In Britain you can now be arrested for writing an email you did not write, because it contains a word that rhymes with another word that some official thinks is racist, but no one complained about
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
San Diego has spent thousands of dollars on tsunami warning signs and are upset because the signs are keeping the tsunamis away
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Dr. Herbert Spiegel, credited with treating pain, anxiety and various addictions by placing people in trances may - or may not - be dead
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this slick slide
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Remember when Mexico decriminalized small amounts of all drugs and everyone said it would be the end of civilization there as we know it? Turns out they were wrong
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(chicagonow.com)
 
 
 
You think your job sucks? Here are the worst jobs of 2010, and your sucky job will be clicking through the slideshow
source: chicagonow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Woman can only donate one kidney, but both her brother and sister need one. Keep this story in mind next Christmas when you're deciding how much you should spend on your siblings
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
International Courts: U.S. must follow international law. U.S. Supreme Court: Suck it. USA. USA. USA
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Town considers law protecting woman's right to choose how she does laundry
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mother Nature Network)
 
 
 
101-year-old man must say goodbye to his beloved elm tree that he's been taking care of for the last 50 years. Excuse me, I've got something in my knothole
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
FDA: Did you know the food you eat COULD KILL YOU? EVERYBODY PANIC
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Funeral home gets early start on cremation thanks to drunken hearse driver
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fosters.com)
 
 
 
Dear God, If you don't want to have the church painted, please give me a sign. Amen
source: fosters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
France's highest court rules that man couldn't be fired for downloading porn to his work computer
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
If you only thought about sex a dozen times today you aren't trying hard enough
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"Crime lord's fake penis falls off in raid"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
"Youth in Revolt" producer proves that Hollywood's not out of ideas when it comes to marketing
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this masked crimson man
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky News)
 
 
 
Nanny State: At this rate the people of the UK won't be able to handle anything sharper than a marble and more pointed than a 2x4
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Next time the airline loses your luggage you can take solace knowing Alabamans are pawing through your underpants in search of a bargain
source: travel.aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Superbear terrorizing Tahoe region is twice the size of a normal bear, bulletproof, evades traps and enters houses at will. Yeah, you're pretty much farked
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Longmont Times-Call)
 
 
 
USB-incompatible toddler upgraded from iCritical to iStable. Shocking new twist: parents claim USB cable was plugged into computer that was not powered on
source: timescall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat January 09, 2010
(Guardian)
 
 
 
McDonalds looks to cut cows' gas, presumably by feeding them some other company's food
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Hippies trembling as 6.5 magnitude quake strikes Humboldt County, California
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop This Tokyo Tunnel
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The American Dialect Society has voted "tweet" the 2009 word of the year and "google" the word of the decade. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go kill myself
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Hamsters exhibit the same drinking patterns as humans. Still no cure for cancer, hangovers
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Troy Messenger)
 
 
 
If anybody can make hide or hair out of this story, please post to the right
source: troymessenger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Occasionally a fashion magazine will "break the mold" and feature plus size models. Here's to V magazine, who have vaporized the mold, buried the pieces on 5 different continents, and defy you to ask for it back
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Discover)
 
 
 
Bad astronomer. BAD
source: blogs.discovermagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(History Channel)
 
 
 
Further proof that the History Channel is run by rednecks
source: history.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Iranian President Ahmadinejad slams tiny fist down, demands compensation for WWI and WWII. No, seriously
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
If the thought of getting stuck on Gilligan's Island scares you, you might just want to keep that to yourself
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some Texas city mayor opens cold weather shelter for pets for this recent arctic cold front, is having police cite owners for cruelty if any pets seen left chained outside at this time
source: valleycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Arab and Jewish chefs unite to cook record hummus in hopes of creating whirled peas
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
Horrified reporters find some people drive as fast as 70 mph in a 55 zone on the freeway. It's like the country is full of criminals
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Contemporist)
 
 
 
Photoshop this knotty lampshade
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Europe's current cold snap is so severe, that even the Norwegians-the ancestors of the people that voluntarily migrated to Minnesota-are complaining
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Oatmeal)
 
 
 
In case you're wondering how long it would take for you to become infected from a zombie bite, this handy calculator will tell you. Subby clocks in at...1hr 13min, holy crap
source: theoatmeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Self-important ass-douche who caused the shutdown of Newark Liberty Airport has been identified and arrested. He's a doctoral student at Rutgers who had to be at the gym in 26 minutes
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Travel tip: Airline crews are just a little jumpy right now, so it is a really bad time to get drunk on a flight and lock yourself in the bathroom-particularly if your first name happens to be Muhammad
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Belief in global warming drops from 71% to just 57% in a year. Something about record cold winters and mild summers the past two years may have something to do with it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
It's snowing in Orlando. It's not news, it's---well, yeah, that is news
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The hell with flying cars. Horny scientists have finally invented sexbots. Yes, sexbots
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Weather Guy)
 
 
 
News: Frosty feline found frozen. Fark: Kitteh recovers in time for Caturday
source: www1.whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Scientologists move in on Southern Baptist Convention's home turf. This should end well
source: content.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Outraged cyclists ask Facebook to remove group promoting violence against bicyclists. In accordance to their Terms of Use, Facebook complies. Just kidding. Facebook: "Hit the road, hipsters"
source: sf.streetsblog.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Photoshop this virtual reality vehicle
source: cache.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(FrontPage)
 
 
 
Foreign criminals be warned: if you commit a serious crime in Norway, you'll never escape the lifetime of free pension, welfare, and health insurance they'll hand you upon your release
source: frontpagemag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
DC cops can arrest women for carrying more than two condoms. Like your mom
source: lafiga.firedoglake.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Weather.com)
 
 
 
Cold weather in parts of Florida causes strange items to seemingly fall from the sky: iguanas (video)
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri January 08, 2010
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Having sex twice a week reduces chance of heart attack by half - unless her husband walks in on you
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(kste)
 
 
 
I won't have Grandpa's boner shoved down my throat
source: kste.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
TSA guard who was responsible for the Newark airport security snafu described as a "model employee." Which pretty succinctly defines the problem
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this log pile
source: grampyshouse.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
Wild turkey blamed for power outage, most bad decisions
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Virginia Civil War dispute ends in courtroom stalemate. The combatants vow to fight on, with one saying, "If at first you don't secede...."
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Was your New Year's Resolution to avoid being in TSG's Weekly Mugshot Roundup? Make sure you're not one of these 16 lovely mugs
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The 1982 Tylenol killer may soon be behind bars. Now maybe I can take something for this damned headache
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man arrested for fondling himself at a Chicago Starbucks. Frap frap frap
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
She's not bad; she's just nipped, tucked, cut, sliced, lipoed, dyed and sculpted that way
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Man plans to save President Obama from armed revolution by Mormon extremists, if they just let him out of jail
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Teenage Scottish girl accuses two others of attacking her in the locker room, and calling her a slut, and pulling her hair, and... and... BRB
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"Black"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop challenge: Create a road sign that needs to be made
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
MP Robinson, you're trying to seduce me... aren't you?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
♫ The best part of waking up is not having to undergo an autopsy ♫
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
No, you're not the only one who's annoyed when the grocery cashier asks if you want to donate a dollar to charity and you say "no" and feel like a douche even though you aren't
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Journal Star)
 
 
 
... it turns out they were stopping every driver, driving east on the westbound lanes of the Interstate. And that's profiling. And profiling is wrong
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Hill)
 
 
 
James Carville: airport scanners can "measure my penis," Oh Jesus, God no
source: washingtonscene.thehill.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Activists Missing After Declaring "War on Leather" at Motorcycle Rally
source: glossynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania adds table games to its casinos, giving you something to do while grandma plays the penny slots
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Farkette Carrie Vaughn releases new book, getting the shaft from soon-to-be-former publisher
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
No, no, no....its screw LIKE a rabbit
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKRC in Cincinnati)
 
 
 
Not News: Car crashes into home. News: Driver is reporter for local TV station. FARK: It's their traffic guy
source: local12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
I'm coming at this with an open kimono, but we should probably touch base offline because you definitely need a bite of the reality sandwich
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
A 25 year project restores scientology artificacts. Included: Thousands of L. Ron Hubbard speeches. Not included: Travolta and Cruise's career
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
TSG's Friday Photo Fun brings in the new year with two Fark favorites. Rock n Roll and bacon. Contest ends at 6pm Eastern
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
When some people see men out on a frozen pond fishing from a stretch limo, they ask, "why?" Andy Giza asks, "why not?"
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Hello, 999? Yeah, it's stuck in a metal pipe this time
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Martyr)
 
 
 
Taliban safehouse suffers from from sudden nonlinear catastrophic structural exasperation
source: www1.voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for stabbing a door twice and then setting fire to a chair. No word on what her problem is with inanimate objects
source: goerie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Halifax Courier)
 
 
 
Obi-Wan Kenobi -- the same man that single handedly dispatched a criminal with a death sentence on twelve systems -- has his lightsabre stolen on way home from fancy dress party
source: halifaxcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(North Country Gazette)
 
 
 
When your girlfriend says she's making you a wine coolant, don't drink it
source: northcountrygazette.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
Asking 75-year olds to take college classes does not turn luxury retirement condos into school dormitories for purposes of zoning law. Nice try, though
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Not to be outdone by its friends in the north, Atlanta has its annual 27-car pileup
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Parents discover their toddler is not USB compatible. Third degree burn compatible sure, but USB compatible, not so much
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
This understated yet powerful Cabernet Sauvignon, with its aggressive flavor, bold aroma, and strong color, is the wine of choice for home invasion victims. Enjoy it in a glass or smashed against an intruder's head
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
CT Fark Party 1/16/10, 7pm, Wood-N-Tap in Southington
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this girl and her suitcase
source: farm1.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Boy is let off with a warning after stabbing a teacher in the chest with a pencil. Teachers union insists that there be stricter punishment, No. 2 ways about it
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Edmonton Sun)
 
 
 
Thief rips off elderly blind and deaf man, several pinball machines missing
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
"Listen, I think there's a big misunderstanding here. I said that I want you to TOW me"
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Mexico demands that Starbucks pay them for the use of ancient Aztec images. Starbucks considers serving only decaf in Mexico until the country chills the fark out
source: money.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man who posed as MTV producer to have sex with boys gets 55 years in prison. He'll soon be starring in such prison shows as MTV Plugged and The Holes
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS5.com)
 
 
 
San Francisco city supervisor kicks off city meeting by using 'F' word, vows to use it at every public gathering for rest of year
source: cbs5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Quadriplegic crosses Atlantic. Of course, his friends call him "Bob"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
The coolest pictures you'll see all day of the ice palace city in Harbin, China
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man charged with attempted murder after he "tried to shoot urinating Indian" with an airgun
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Overturned semi full of cattle stuck on median in Iowa. Hazardous conditions preventing rescue. Friday's Iowa headline: Huge Self-serve Frozen Beef Sale
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these tasty fruits
source: farm3.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
As one of the worst winters in 100 years grips the country, climate experts are still trying to claim the world is growing warmer
source: dailyexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CDC warns that H1N1 is still causing hospitalizations and death. EVERYBODY PANIC AGAIN
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man arrested for drunken snowblowing. Otherwise known as Thursday in Canada
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu January 07, 2010
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
85 people get sick from salmonella linked to pet frogs. Fortunately none of them croaked
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Celebrity psychiatrist attacked by white supremacist killer while visiting jail, reinforces the old adage "stay away from any guy with a swastika carved into his forehead"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Oklahoma boy says mom, her friend beat him over food. With "Ya'll don't look like you've missed many meals" mugshots
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Neighbor demands swing set back, won't let it slide
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Apparently cops aren't allowed to detain a lactating woman and fondle her until she squirts milk into a glove
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
In honor of the plucky Mars rovers' 7th year on the Red Planet, photoshop these rover tracks
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Ohio police looking for two bank robbers, possibly under five feet tall and jamming out to Hannah Montana
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Loch Ness monster death rumors dismissed as completely unbelievable, unsubstantiated, and obviously beyond the realm of any rational thought
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Doritos)
 
 
 
Step 1: Vote. Step 2: ? Step 3: Go to the Super Bowl. Wait what? (Sponsored link)
source: crashthesuperbowl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fahrenheit -52: the temperature at which North Dakota becomes interesting
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
After politeness got them nowhere, Canadian university gets permission to evict disabled student from dorm. Reason: He graduated in 1993
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Corrupt calorie counts in common cheap cheesy choices chafe calorie conscious
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Apparently Russians can't afford furry costumes, so they do the next best thing (NSFW)
source: fishki.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
After a year with six employees killed, the worst crash in its history, and too many safety violations to count, DC Metro allows independent investigators on its tracks. And nearly kills all of them in one fell swoop with a speeding train
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Four out of five detainees released from Gitmo don't go on to join militant groups
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun News)
 
 
 
Rule #2 when arguing with a your batshiat crazy, steam iron wielding girlfriend: Don't taunt her with crackers and/or loose change
source: thesunnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Rule #1 when arguing with a your batshiat crazy, hatchet wielding drunk girlfriend: Don't
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Falling dolphin injures sea-world trainer, possibly on porpoise
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Working for the public defender's office has its perks. Especially if your boyfriend is in jail and needs a little sex and some weed
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Its all fun and games until one of the girls falls off one of the poles and gets hurt
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Shooting at transformer factory in St. Louis, decepticons suspected
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mobile phone radiation protects mice from Alzheimer's. Now if we could just get them to stop driving while texting
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely tree
source: i216.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Everyone hoped the 1952 time capsule buried by city health officials would give us a glance at long forgotten medical techniques and knowledge. Instead it may give us shortness of breath and respiratory failure
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBCNewYork.com)
 
 
 
Sir / Madam, congratulation to you. You have selected to win $165 Mega Millions lotery. We have gotten the approval to send your check to you, but we need $1 million for check to be issued. Signed, Suffolk County, NY
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Judge sentences man to 10 years in prison for 'massaging the meat' in the supermarket. To the cop on steakout: well done
source: failuremag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Yah mon, authorities want to apprehend the "Rasta Robber" who has the community locked in dread
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
"A Department of Natural Resources report says hunters shot 10 buildings. That's down from 25 in 2008, 19 in 2007 and 15 in 2006"
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(justnews.com)
 
 
 
"I knew of a gentleman who was collecting them off the street... and all of a sudden these things are coming alive, crawling on his back and almost caused a wreck." Yeah, it's frozen iguana season again
source: justnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
New Mexico funeral home now offers zombie take out
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Romanian woman didn't know that her husband hid $57,768 in some old footwear. Hilarity in shoes
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Caption this polar bear
source: blogs.herald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Taliban bus fails to maintain 50 mph
source: afghanistan.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Doctors would like to remind you that drinking vinegar will not necessarily make you look like Megan Fox
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Naked jogger with suspicious package stopped near the White House
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
92-year-old man crashes car into busy restaurant, steps out, sits at table, orders and eats his breakfast
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Bow before your baby panda overlord
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Cops press charges against Dad for puting his seven year old in dryer. Police claim the kid's tag clearly states dry clean only
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
High school baseball coach encourages players to masturbate instead of having sex, and to ignore that little red LED over there
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
After deciding it was too hard to dismantle for scrap metal, man decides to get rid of trailer by setting it on fire. "The man said he didn't have a plan to contain the fire, expecting the rain to prevent its spread"
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
School district thinks 24-year-old teacher's aide should resign because she has lost her credibility now that students have seen her naked....wait, what?
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Broke, dead-beat dad presumed dead after vanishing. Oh, did we mention he won $16.9 million in the lottery and wanted to move to Jamaica? Meh, that doesn't really factor into this. He's dead
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flame from a face
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
2010 census form includes "negro" as race option. Census Bureau apologizes for error, promises to change option to "attractive and successful African American"
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Study finds 48% of drinks tested from fast food soda fountains contain fecal bacteria. And you were just worried about that special sauce
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Nagging your husband is not a crime - or at least that's what my wife tells me over and over and over again
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Oregon Air National Guard scrambled two F-15 fighter jets after a passenger on a Hawaiian Airlines jet to Maui refused to let go of his carry-on bag and passed a "disturbing note" to a flight attendant
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Do you know where your kids are? If not, maybe you'll find them at the house of your friend's ex-wife while you're there with him to beat up her new boyfriend... just sayin'
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 244: "Animals" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed January 06, 2010
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
To Won Feng, thanks for everything, FDA
source: knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ad for gym has some up in arms. "When the aliens come, they will eat the fatties first."
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Driving Instructor Critical After Student Crashes." What did the student expect, compliments?
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dock on the bay
source: farm3.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Virgin agrees to deport Mexican immigrants to ease California overcrowding
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Free ID found, sold. Free convict uses Free ID for 32 years, worry free. Convict now no longer free or Free, while Free concern free. See?
source: miamiherald.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Nanotech researchers complete violin study
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(970 WFLA)
 
 
 
After a laundry room dispute, an elderly man goes for his slingshot. Other tenants say he's a real menace
source: 970wfla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
When exiting your vehicle after a crash, be alert and ready to jump out of the way of oncoming traffic. Unless you are on a bridge
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Michelle Obama stimulating the economy in her own way by having 26 servants at her disposal at a cost of more than 1.5 million dollar a year. All paid for by the loving US Taxpayers
source: canadafreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Doctor decides that Mona Lisa had high cholesterol. Because if there's one thing better for society than curing cancer, its diagnosing irrelevant medical problems in people who've been dead for 500 years
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Snowed-in Brits fight frigidity with philandering
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Richard Dawkins, creationists are wrong: everything evolves not because of selfish genes or intelligent designs, but because DNA is hardwired that way
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
6,000,002
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Canadian govt : We'll arrest and fine anyone who collect lobsters that washed up on the beach because they weren't caught under license. Mayor of St John: STFU and pass the melted butter
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Relax everyone and don't sell that hummer just yet. They just found a massive oil reservoir that stretches from Africa to South America
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe Arpaio sends an anchovie pizza to a newspaper columnist everytime the guy writes an article the sheriff doesn't like. "Thanks for another negative story about me."
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
A 5 foot, 1 inch tall man wearing a mask accused of robbing a Wendy's. Last heard muttering, "robble, robble"
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Headline: "Holy Cross faculty beat seniors for charity". Worst. Charity. Ever
source: queenscourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Study reveals that Autism is caused by high concentrations of educated, affluent, white parents
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
Mr. Tillmann was also charged in 2008 with assault with a deadly pencil
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
World's only certified double atomic bombing survivor dies. Friends will miss his healthy glow and electric personality
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Greenwich Time)
 
 
 
Townspeople oppose erecting cell tower in Mianus
source: greenwichtime.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
An oldie but goodie for you New Years Resolutioners looking to work out more this year - The Rules of The Gym
source: joethepeacock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Teen jumps off high school roof, flies to hospital
source: abc6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Man with history of mental illness, public masturbation, sexual assault, variety of felony and misdemeanor charges finally arrested after stabbing childhood friend to death. With "who would ever have guessed it" mugshot
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Sparks Tribune)
 
 
 
What kind of country do we live in where a man can't dress up as Bigfoot and go tramping around in state parks?
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Remember, Farkers: this Sunday is national "No Pants Day"
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
When learning the art of hypnosis, you should try to avoid practising in front of a mirror. W/pic of what you wouldn't expect a hypnotist to look like
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bright lights
source: farm1.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Wife who stole £470,000 to pay for her dream wedding gets two years in jail. Husband gets life sentence
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
A female cane toad can "pump herself up to mega-size" if she wants to dissuade a male from mating with her. In the human species, we call this phenomenon "marriage"
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Daily Show)
 
 
 
George Lucas: "Star Wars is fiction." Jon Stewart: "But I've been living my life as if it was reality"
source: thedailyshow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Russia increases taxes on beer and vodka as a way to stop its citizens from drinking like British women on holiday
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
New book by Osama Bin Laden's children reveal a cruel father who routinely beat his kids, killed theIr pets in poison gas experiments, and asked them to go on suicide missions
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Lawyer cries "bigotry" after public fails to show sympathy for sterilized welfare mom client
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
The Fonz has dyslexia...so, sit no it
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
9 kids in trouble for wearing a t-shirt that goes to 11
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Pet snake saves family from house fire. "Long Long grabbed my clothes with his teeth and whipped the bed with his tail"
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Attacker kills man after sharing beers with him. Of Coors, the thug wasn't the victim's Bud, so what Foster's this kind of brutality in people? Let's not beat around the Busch. He may have had a Pabst history of mental illness
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Today's Photoshop ingredients: Disney + Marvel
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Ten species that might become extinct. Ted Nugent approves
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Blowing a .15 apparently disqualifies you from driving a school bus in New York. Another chapter in the Nanny State Diaries
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Senator Chris Dodd to announce he's retiring ahead of re-election
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Obama redecorating Oval Office with more mosque appeal
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Sophisticated networks of lights, computers, traffic cameras, sensors, and human observers work together to make sure the light turns red just as you get to the intersection
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KGTV)
 
 
 
Dear advice column: My boyfriend has four different kids by four different women, including me. He hasn't mentioned anything about marriage. My question is, am I wasting my time?
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(wbns)
 
 
 
Police investigation finds that cop who pretended to have cancer so he could collect more then $20,000 and 600 hours of sick leave didn't commit any crimes. In other news, Subby has cancer. Donations to the right
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue January 05, 2010
(Lowell Sun)
 
 
 
Legal puzzler of the day: If state law requires teachers to be fluent in English and tape recordings prove a teacher can't speak English, how much money should the teacher win in her lawsuit?
source: lowellsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CO Spring Gazette)
 
 
 
In Colorado, a banjo is considered a deadly weapon, at least when you hit someone in the head with it. Otherwise, it's just a deadly instrument
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop Kermit the Frog
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
KFC: Helping You Survive "Awkward" Black People Since 1952 (link fixed)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Bakersfield airport closed due to security incident. Surprisingly, no one notices
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Bomb-sniffing dog detects snausages at Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Good: Test Bratislava airport security with explosive packs. Bad: Plant them on unsuspecting travellers ..Fark: Man held at Dublin airport on explosives charges
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Group of penguins gets photobombed by anonymous seal, one penguin heard asking "Does anybody even know that guy?"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Chicago expecting 6 to 9 inches this week. Giggity
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Y2K...10?
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Somali pirates diversify activities with savvy real estate investments. Seriously, that's what they're doing
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Dear Dad: Thanks for paying for my graduate school. I couldn't have done it without you, so please come to my graduation. But don't bring your skanky girlfriend. Kthxbai
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mumbai condom vending machines hit by burglars and vandals. Inconceivable
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some leave office and lead productive lives in the private sector, some get cited for stealing crackers
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these snow-spraying celebrants
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Watertown Daily Times)
 
 
 
New York sewage company to begin treating local water supply to remove mercury released by mining operations. Subby's sure he read something like this in an Hg Wells short story years ago
source: watertowndailytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Old McDonald bought the farm, E-I-E-I-O
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
People with restless legs don't have it so hard, study says
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WSB-TV)
 
 
 
Rules for arguing with your significant other: Don't call each other names, don't go to bed angry and don't let your argument lead police to your meth lab
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Politician who blamed failed breathalyzer test on toothpaste will spend next year trying to get bad tastes out of his mouth
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Channel 13 Guy)
 
 
 
Police then tried to pull him over, but he refused to stop, leading them on a chase of more than a half-mile with speeds topping out at 25 miles per hour
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"This is your captain speaking. We've... going to... am taking off as soon as I finish this Jagerbomb..."
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Making dinner from ingredients purchased solely at Ikea. The potatoes and lox were great, but it was a pain assembling the meatballs without metric hex keys
source: food.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
We HaVE YoUr WEEd. We ARe HOLdinG iT fOr RANsOm. CaLL If YOu WaNt It BaCK. SIGnED, nOt THe CoPs. (with photo of ransom note)
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Doctor for octuplet mom accused of gross negligence by medical board. Don't know about the negligence part, but gross, definitely
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for cracking a beer mug over another woman's head (w/ 'multiple beer mugs required' mugshot)
source: bnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(skunkpost.com)
 
 
 
Man found guilty of spending time in a man cave, has now been sentenced to another
source: skunkpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Eating your Play-Doh. New Hotness: Having your Play-Doh confiscated by the TSA before you get on the plane
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman puts fist through McDonald's drive-thru window. Claims McNuggets Rage
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
If at first you can't steal the change out of a parking meter, steal the whole thing, take it to your mother's house and put it in the closet
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Two earthquakes return to rock Solomon Islands in an encore show. Fans go wild
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
When laws collide: Full body scanners break child pornography laws. Welcome to Absurdistan
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Security guards force 80-year-old man to return pocketknife to his car before entering courthouse. No one suggested leaving the gun there too
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You've accidentally forgotten to place a bet on a race, do you C) threaten to kill the horse?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Oilman throws lavish MTV Sweet Sixteen for spoiled crotchfruit, Investors he defrauded spot him on the show, demand sweet sixteen to twenty
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Taoist truck driver guilty of "unlawful sexual intercourse under false pretences". That is not the way
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMTW.com)
 
 
 
The weirdo on the bus goes snip snip snip
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
French Armored bank van has a Ronin with robbers packing serious Heat. The Score was several million euros. No word if authorities are pursuing The Usual Suspects or an Inside Man
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this green guy
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
German police officer suspended for conducting his own search for the divine in a Church
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Burglary suspects decide to evade cops by running onto local high school football field, where as it turns out, off-duty law enforcement officials were practicing for the upcoming Pig Bowl against the fire department. Jailarity ensues
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Boise State's finest thrilled to have more cowbell
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Man charged with slapping police horse. Mongo only pawn... in game of life
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Friday it will probably be colder in Houston than McMurdo Station in Antarctica
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Look, folks, the Smiley emocon has been around since the 40s. Stop trying to act like you invented it and stop suing people for using it. Mmkay? :)
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Prime Minister on the move
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Obama to overseas airports: "I demand that you tighten up your security." Overseas airports: "GTFO UFIA EABOD TTJASI DIAF STFU GBTW TTIUWP how about no -- does NO work for you?"
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Mon January 04, 2010
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cake-licker pleads guilty to torte, shouldn't have stollen all that crêpe. Now going to prison, where his fate couldn't be cruller, but perhaps he'll turnover a new leaf
source: timescolonist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky News)
 
 
 
"Letting fatties roam the site is a direct threat to our business model and the very concept for which BeautifulPeople.com was founded." Good thing Fark only requires a one drink minimum
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Catholic)
 
 
 
Feminist Mary Daly died abroad today at age 81
source: ncronline.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
For the first time in seven years, Disneyland is draining the Rivers of America. Among the items expected to be found are Tom Sawyer's paintbrush, Davy Crockett's rifle, and the bloated corpse of Brer Rabbit
source: ocresort.freedomblogging.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The New York Times condenses the last 10 years of Fark headlines into a single graphic
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cable pullers
source: media.cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OC Register)
 
 
 
Pair suspected of stealing cavity fillings, which authorities claim caries stiff penalties
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Freya von Moltke, prominent member of the German resistance during World War II, dies at age 98. Nazis finally claim victory
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Utah is glowing with anticipation of getting everyone's radioactive waste
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KTVU)
 
 
 
California is falling into the ocean perhaps a bit less dramatically than we had hoped
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Crime drops in New Zealand town after cops start having tea with local criminals
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Who needs an actual peace conference when you can hang out at a resort for a few days instead and then blame the ongoing conflict on the party who wasn't invited?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Columnist responds to hatemail: "You intuitively understand, letters written entirely in capitals impress with their intensity. I would advise you adopt this form of communication for all correspondence, particularly job applications"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Courthouse News)
 
 
 
Judge can't figure out why someone has a problem with his policy of randomly selecting people out of his courtroom and submitting them to an involuntary drug screening. "It's a routine policy of the court"
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Old news: Chia pets and pet rocks. New: Designer rings with live plants growing inside them instead of precious stones
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBCNewYork.com)
 
 
 
New York City publishes "How To" Handbook for Heroin Users. It's a Hit
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chronicle of Higher Education)
 
 
 
Don't go to grad school for the humanities, unless you want your future job to involve deconstructing the signifiers in the power structure of french fry hermeneutics
source: chronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKTV)
 
 
 
In hindsight, perhaps going around table to table inside your local Applebees wasn't the greatest strategy in selling your stash of weed
source: wktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Congratulations to the winners of Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Man robs shoe store with a large rock. This would never happen if more people were allowed to carry concealed paper
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
As it turns out, Forrest Gump is a woman from Chicago
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Two Federal marshalls shot in Las Vegas Federal building. So, let's all quickly jump to conclusions and blame someone we don't like
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
That Ben & Jerry's ice cream you enjoy was made from sustainable, locally-sourced milk and cream, thanks to illegal immigrants who work 80-hour weeks and sleep in the barn with the cows
source: food.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
TSA to profile air travelers entering the US from countries that sponsor terror. Like Holland
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Locals suspect an organized gang is behind the rustling of over 500 cattle from the Great Basin area over the last few years. No, this isn't a repeat from 1876
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Swedish police bust international ring of left shoe stealing thieves. Daniel Day-Lewis unavailable for comment
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WXIX Cincinnati)
 
 
 
You got to know when to hold 'em. Know when to fold 'em. Know when to walk away, and when to shoot your dad
source: wxix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two earthquakes rock the Solomon Islands, sign autographs with groupies, then get on their tour bus for the next gig
source: themoneytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Husband given ultimatum by wife: It's me or the Orc
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(fox8.com)
 
 
 
Wendy's employees save man's life after he passes out. In the shock of a lifetime, he collapsed BEFORE he ate anything there
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"The criminal insisted that after he broke into the house, a spirit blinded him and would not let him move or scream for 72 hours"
source: cnngo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
I, Donald Williams, do solemnly swear that I will administer justice without respect to persons....under the Constitution and laws of the United States. So help me Merriam-Webster
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
This is my gavel. There are many like it but this one is mine. My gavel is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as I must master my life. Without me, my gavel is useless. Without my gavel I am useless
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bins and a baby
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
If you can't be a foster parent for displaced youth, why not try a couple of grizzled old veterans
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Caption this tuxedo'd Obama & Biden
source: farm5.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
The next time you think about complaining about how bad you have it, just remember this: Double-amputee skydiving champion. (w/ awesome pics)
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you intend to flash a couple teenage girls don't demand they take your picture first
source: wee-county-news.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WKYC)
 
 
 
Parents who refused to pass school levy are shocked, SHOCKED that their district is forced to cut school busing
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Three British MPs claim they can't be prosecuted for fraudulent expense claims due to parliamentary privilege from 1689 Bill of Rights. England has a Bill of Rights?
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Mom of nine children: "I was sterilized against my will"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How is the rest of the world is coping with this Global Warming™? With pic of what Global Warming™ might look like
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
SLC Mayor: Let's put bars in neighborhoods that people can walk to. Mormons & MADD: Think of the children
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Hundreds arrested in Texas cockfighting raid, face 6-8 months of additional cockfighting
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
This guy REALLY wanted to be on peopleofwalmart.com
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
People with names beginning with D live shorter lives, have life long poor self-esteem, and are born to poor parents. Drew Curtis says goddamnit so much
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Winnipeg Free Press)
 
 
 
Her knight in shiny shoes
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Security breach causes lockdown at Newark Airport. Hundreds in danger of suffering a terrible fate: being stuck in Newark
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shady entry way
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 

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