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Sun December 20, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Ugly assed ♬baby beluga, baby beluga in the deep blue sea♬ born at Shedd Aquarium
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Adolf Hitler and Linda McCartney were Vegans and they turned out ok, right. Bonus: Mechanics of turkey slaughter
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(News 10 ABC Sacramento)
 
 
 
Boy gets trapped in gun safe at Costco. Parents required to undergo background checks, licensing, and wait 7 days before retrieving him
source: news10.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Israel admits harvesting organs from Palestinians who didn't need them any more. Predictably, the anti-semites are making this sound bad
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(520)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
55 dead, 38 injured in Nigerian truck crash. Hold on Tom ... we're getting word of a dead white actress
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snorkeler at the start
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(PTI News)
 
 
 
Study finds most women buy clothes knowing they won't wear them. In other news, study finds rush hour traffic in LA due to large influx of automobiles
source: ptinews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(NT News)
 
 
 
"Police estimated they would have to give the man 20 hours to sober up in his cell before he was capable of understanding the charges he was facing."
source: ntnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Gainesville Times)
 
 
 
Study finds American teens are using more pills, less pot
source: gainesvilletimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(News Post Online)
 
 
 
Study finds American teens are using more pot, less tobacco
source: newspostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Vaccine/autism scares, televised dance contests, the Blackberry.. just some of "The Worst Ideas of the Decade"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Genius goes hunting boar while dressed in animal skins. It ended pretty much the way you would expect
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Some Kalamazooian)
 
 
 
Catholic school forces children to write Christmas letters to Jesus, not Santa, ensuring they learn what Christmas is all about
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(316)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Brittany Murphy, star of "Clueless" and "8 Mile," died last night after full cardiac arrest at 32
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1194)
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Ten things you've probably already heard that you won't mind hearing again
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Morning Star)
 
 
 
Dear Dr. Laura: Thank you for reminding me that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states homosexuality to be an abomination. My question is, I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, what would be a good price for her?
source: magic-city-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(858)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Fly-covered goat and horse carcasses in uninspected, unlicensed slaughterhouses lacking basic sanitation. This is not a repeat from 1906. Upton Sinclair unavailable for comment
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this knob twiddler
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(MassLive)
 
 
 
Police are combing the streets for barber who stabbed two other barbers after a hairy altercation. Neither are expected to dye after the close shave
source: masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
After careful consideration, government realizes that not giving free tampons to mental hospital patients would be bloody awful
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Photoshop this wave watcher
source: denverpost.slideshowpro.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Jersey City man goes to housing agency to file bedbug complaint and is charged with lewdness after dropping trou to show evidence of injury. Across the river the bedbug will only take your thumb, Charlie
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Blizzard forces nude bicycle protestors to roll on Shabbos bundled up from head to toe through Hasidic neighborhood
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Alcohol now costs less than water in British supermarkets. Naturally the Nanny State has a bloody huge problem with this
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
Mexico wants you to know Tijuana is not all about cheap tequila, diseased whores, and corrupt cops. There's a new, improved police force in the works, equipped with bilingual traffic tickets
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Target fires 7 workers for buying Zhu Zhus
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(398)
 


Sat December 19, 2009
(Star Gazette)
 
 
 
6-year old girl saves her Mom's life by crawling through broken window of wrecked car, climbing back up the ravine they just plummeted down, talking to strangers
source: stargazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(WJLA-TV)
 
 
 
He pulls a snowball, you pull a gun. That's the Washington, D.C. way
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sign of devotion
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(BND)
 
 
 
Flight attendants are suing national weather forecasting service over turbulence
source: bnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Should you ever find yourself likely to have to make a swift getaway from a farm, it helps to know the location of the slurry pit in advance
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Huliq)
 
 
 
US General: You can fight for our freedom, just don't get pregnant or I'll throw your ass in prison
source: huliq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(356)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Got 7+ hours to waste? Watch this HD train trip from Bergen to Oslo
source: nrkbeta.no   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Not news: man jumps from plane. News: parachute doesn't open and he survives the landing. Fark: he plans to jump again
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(TheIndyChannel)
 
 
 
Today's "female high school basketball coach arrested for having sex with female student" story brought to you by Indianapolis, Indiana. With *maybe* pic
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Teacher tapes porn over educational video and accidentally shows it to sixth graders. Parents shocked -- not so much that the kids saw porn but really, who still uses VHS?
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop AKAT-1
source: blog.iso50.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
So how do you top that spiral over Norway? Well, if you're Russia, make a giant pyramid hover over the Kremlin
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Dating? Without permission from the government? It's less likely than you think
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Drunken idiot who stole bus and hit 50 other cars during a 30-mile joyride explains "he just wanted to get home"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(The Faaaaaaamous Mr Ed)
 
 
 
New York man arrested for being a fan of the Fillies
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Civic Christmas display takes people back 350 years when Christmas was illegal, featuring burned Christmas trees, impaled robins and severed heads choking on mince pies. Submitter wishes he lived in those times, but now he's off to the mall
source: yorkpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Stowaway cat returns from Spain ferry trip just in time for Caturday
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1065)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this living lake
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Premature quadruplets beat the odds yet again when all four are accepted to Yale University
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Judge rules that City of Chicago can use eminent domain to relocate cemetary for O'Hare expansion. The move is expected to displace almost 1,100 potential voters
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Superman is Real, and He Apparently Lives in Ottawa, KS
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
On one hand, third offense drunk driving hit and run with injuries is bad. On the other hand, we wouldn't want the senator to miss any important votes
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Virginia getting slammed with 20 inches
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(362)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Whiskey hangovers worse than vodka hangovers, still no cure for Whiskey hangovers
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
If you're traveling through Denver International Airport and find $170,000 laying around, can you give the cops a call? kthxbye
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cows have taken over Clark County
source: wxow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(SF Weekly)
 
 
 
Shortage of ugly sweaters threatens to ruin ironic hipster parties
source: blogs.sfweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 


Fri December 18, 2009
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Yeah, you probably have mad cow disease
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
U.S. to Capture Cow Farts to Save the Planet. This should complete the Cow trifecta
source: dailyfinance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Austin man reports cow as missing
source: postbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Some Aussie)
 
 
 
800 sheep and 40 cattle killed by Walla tip fire. BBQ trifecta is sick due to overeating
source: bordermail.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Unknown number of hogs become instabacon in farm fire. Accidental BBQ trifecta complete
source: witn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Cat chewing is draining Yemen's water supply
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(KSDK News Channel 5)
 
 
 
ACLU cancels Christmas, kids devastated
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(432)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Today's "Mugshot Roundup"? Watta buncha maroons
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Man uses cows to defraud banks. Cops heard about it, had a beef with him and branded him a criminal. His alibi's a load of bull; cash to come out of his hide while he's in the pen, where he may be shanked or poked in the angus
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Lingerie Football League gets it's panties in a bunch, files briefs threatening to bustier players who let slip the league's dirty little secrets
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this colorful trio
source: upload.wikimedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Associated Content)
 
 
 
OOOooo-klahoma, where your rights go mainly down the drain
source: associatedcontent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(363)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Zombie-proof baby turns one
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(526)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Phone smashing cow is finally brought to justice... (with cow attack video goodness)
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Study finds 1 in 110 children has autism study finds
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(204)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A tasty tragedy, 60 cows are killed in barn fire. Accidental BBQ trifecta now in play
source: cumberlink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Website of highly repected, Pulitzer-winning newspaper based in a major metropolitian area publishes a nine-page slide show devoted to some lady's stupid garden statue
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Naked grinch launches furious attack on Carvel ice cream shop's Christmas decorations
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
There has been a Tiger Woods sighting near Houston. Wait what? Oh someone saw a tiger in the woods near Houston. Ohhhhh. Well, I'm sorry. Never mind
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Nebraska's supreme court rules that owners whose dogs are playful and cause injury are not liable for damages. "No, my pit bull was just being playful when he bit that kid's face off."
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Iran seizes Iraqi oil well. Oil well to be tried for illegally hiking on or near Iranian border
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
When laying down spike strips during a high-speed chase, be aware cars may be approaching you at high speeds
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(wnem.com)
 
 
 
Governor declares January "Snow Sports Month". Subby anticipating what she will declare in July
source: wnem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Auschwitz' infamous "Arbeit Macht Frei" sign goes frei due to thieves' arbeit
source: slatest.slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Tens of thousands of Australian washing machines to be recalled after a series of shocking complaints. Generally you don't see that kind of behaviour in a major appliance
source: news.smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
To your left: 36 states report falling unemployment numbers. To your right: Debbie Downer pees in your cereal
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(324)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Cow jumps six feet onto roof, possibly as part of his training to break the bovine "over the moon" record
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man jailed for killing wife with TV remote. Large volume of pleas for leniency through the proper channels meet with muted response
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
It's taken about two decades to build Maryland's 19-mile Inter-County Connector, and now that it's almost finished the tolls are so high that nobody can use it
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When jump starting a bulldozer, it's always a good idea to make sure that it's not in gear
source: mycentraljersey.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
No, the local Kinko's is not going to print those naked pictures of young children for you
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(368)
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
150 battle blaze at chicken farm. Fowl play suspected
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Friday Photo Fun with the folks from TSG: Match the "Santa Con" with their crime for shot at best seller. Contest end at 6pm Eastern
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Yet another group of researchers claim to have discovered the lost city of Atlantis. This time, it's apparently on a plato somewhere at the bottom of the Caribbean
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Godzilla vs. winner)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Cthulhu vs. the Flying Spaghetti Monster
source: forums.thecarlounge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Al Qaeda blasts away its 'glass ceiling' by officially clearing women to become suicide bombers
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(abc15.com)
 
 
 
Teacher takes students choiring, then treats them to lunch at Hooters, which leads to her early retirement. Busted
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Once again for the slow people who haven't quite grasped it: If you're distributing a magazine for 9-12 year olds, just take the time to double check there's no references to hardcore pornography in it
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(CBS2Chicago.com)
 
 
 
Man waiting for teller in a bank decides to text his girlfriend that there's a man with a gun inside. Swarms of responding police officers think that joke is jailarious
source: cbs2chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Qantas 747 flight cut short after pilots discover the hidden afterburner setting on the control panel
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Neighboring bingo halls battle for customers. "It gives people something to do that's not the bar scene"
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
As more and more people are using technology for their everyday social needs, the demand for professional hand jobs is skyrocketing
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
You know how it goes, you go to a party, go home drunk, have a smoke in your back yard and then try to have sex with a Rottweiler
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Fifth grader can type 119 words a minute. Big deal, so can I...ready. Asd dhasqwe lkasjdqwouer asdpqwe sdflkweoier asdlkawe weprowe l;asd ;as fkljhwer werpopiwer asdkeur asdjaserqwpo qweo alkjasdpqwerpiq asdjrutada
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Karzai announces that he will be keeping half his existing cabinet in his new administration. The other half couldn't pony up the cash
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two-legged dog helps disabled vets make it on their own. Lil Brudder approves
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Some Angry Jesus)
 
 
 
Say "HO" again. Say "HO" again, I dare you, I DOUBLE-dare you, motherfarker. Say "HO" one more gotdamn time
source: kcoy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Truck hauling 4000 cases of beer ran off the road in Papua, New Guinea. Since this is Fark, you know what happened next
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Fugitive doctor tries to avoid capture by performing impromtu surgery on own neck
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Rejected Christmas cards
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian hottie swimmer Stephanie Rice wants a new boyfriend for Christmas. Any Farkers wanna help her out? (with pic)
source: themercury.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(317)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This is a bat eating a banana in the kitchen. Your argument is invalid
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Hurricanes, crime, and poverty notwithstanding, Louisiana is the happiest state in the nation
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fortune picks top 10 dumbest things that happened in the financial world. It apparently took dozens of staffers working three weeks to narrow the list down to 10
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 


Thu December 17, 2009
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Three friends descend into a deep, dark cavern. Only the Butt brothers emerge
source: montereyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Anti-whalers Sea Shepard complain because another ship is following them around, reporting their location and preventing them from closing in on their targets
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(406)
 
(Petoskey News-Review)
 
 
 
Woman, 24, commits suicide by jumping off Mackinac Bridge in Michigan. "Apparently, she was depressed. That's the number one reason for suicide," says top-notch detective
source: petoskeynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
After sticking A Fistful of Metal in his arm trying to attain A State of Euphoria, Scotsman is no longer Among the Living after shooting up with anthrax-laced heroin. \m/
source: newsvote.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
'Green' vibrators promise sustainable pleasure. Article says nothing about emissions
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The national debt has, "at least numerically," surpassed the new limit set by Congress just last week. "At least numerically"? Do we owe New Zealand a couple billion tons of sheep or something, too?
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
ProTip: When riding a bicycle drunk make sure you leave your obsolete thirft shop police jacket at home
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Parrot)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lovely plumage
source: showstudio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Darwin has already used his pardon for the year 2009 so don't go doing anything stupid over the holidays, kids
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
BlackBerry users dealing with network outage. This submission will greenlight at 1:30, but you won't see it until 6:00
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Computer hacker asks for a reduced sentence because he as Asperger Syndrome, but he'll have to convince the judge that a computer expert could be socially awkward, lack communication skills and be physically uncoordinated
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(326)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
King Henry II's mistress may have died from consuming too much gold. That's Auful
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(193)
 
(wsmv.com)
 
 
 
Tractor-trailer spills load of adhesive on highway. Traffic reportedly stuck for miles
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
You think the woman you are driving behind is going too slow. Do you, c) pull alondside the car and threaten the passenger with a knife?
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(wigantoday)
 
 
 
Elf and safety concerns at Santa's Grotto sees children turned away in tears
source: wigantoday.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Pricipal . Caught sayof sex acts on child
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(225)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Star Trek stops women from becoming computer scientists, ensuring a galactic future more Janice Rand than Leah Brahms
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(387)
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
A private Canadian company says it will plant 1,176 trees to offset the carbon emitted by Air Force One when it carries President Barack Obama to Copenhagen for the international climate conference
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(240)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Not doing anything to help the sterotype, texas becomes hos to the largest US city without a single bookstore as Laredo's last one closes
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(291)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
High school newspaper does investigation that reveals that kids don't do drugs because of peer pressure, they do them because school sucks
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Earthquake jolts Nebraska, nobody notices
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Wiring Christmas lights in your car and hanging cotton balls from the ceiling apparently is not just news, but makes your vehicle a "Snow Globe" (w/pic of 12VDC to AC inverter)
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Wet Paper News)
 
 
 
Australian government internet filter expected to be 'great, glorious success'
source: wetpapernews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Predator drone: $4.5 million. Off the shelf software: $26. Knowing the Iranians just hacked your high-tech surveillance with a program you can get at Best Buy: priceless
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(420)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Hippie suspended from school for long hair. Pay no attention to the fact that :a) The kid is four years old, b) this is a Pre-K class, and c) this is Texas. With photo of what an extremist, anarchist, terrorist toddler may look like
source: friscoblog.dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(407)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
America's Sheriff says "People everywhere deserve a little Christmas cheer. Especially those incarcerated during the holiday season." Not surprisingly some inmates have a problem with this
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Christmas comes early from Citigroup: no home foreclosures for 30 magical days
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(PressHerald.com)
 
 
 
The good news is you've weatherized your house so now you're only paying one third your previous energy cost. The bad news is now you'll need that money for your medical bills from all the bad air you're breathing in
source: pressherald.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Gloria Allred will be representing at least two of Tiger Woods' mistresses in what could soon become a class action suit
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Nebraska Humane Society is looking for a new home for two adorable pugs named Harry and Sally. They like to play fetch and tug-of-war, enjoy long walks, snuggling on an available lap, and feasting on human flesh
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Canadian nuns launch national advertising campaign to recruit new members. Photoshop a recruiting poster
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(ABC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Bengals receiver Chris Henry catches his death
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(684)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Santa's a bad role model, because he's a pipe-smoking fattie who makes minorities toil for no pay in a factory located in a harsh environment in order to pass out gifts based on his own subjective value judgements
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Mexican naval forces kill drug cartel chief in apartment complex, which must have had a really, really big pool
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
The 10 most irritating, obnoxious, attention-whoring people of 2009
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(300)
 
(Some Alternate poop chute)
 
 
 
Special toilet means jail guards no longer have to search for contraband with latex gl--MOON RIVER
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Caption these august world leaders
source: denverpost.slideshowpro.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Deadspin)
 
 
 
Protip: If you want to remain a member of your exclusive golf club, you might want to make sure the "modeling agency" you've rented your condo to isn't actually making a video for a site called "Ass Parade"
source: deadspin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
The old "I'm not drunk, I'm just too fat to walk in a straight line" defense actually works, for once
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Some chick)
 
 
 
Woman jailed on $7,500 bond for not returning the 53 DVDs she borrowed from the public library. W/"whatever" mugshot
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
You're an obscure ex-legislator from a small state convicted of a horrible crime. Do you c) email first amendment experts threatening $50,000 copyright fines for using your name in news stories without permission
source: yro.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: The Morning After
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Man's best friend becomes Farks' No. 1 party animal
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Evening Tribune)
 
 
 
City issues ban on smoking in all public parks, then agrees not to have police enforce it, opting istead for "peer enforcement". This should end well
source: eveningtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(273)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Catholics predictably pissed off about billboard ad that suggests the second coming might not have been all that great
source: tools.themercury.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(211)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Right on schedule, it's time for a "Companies are downsizing their holiday parties" story
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Do not taunt the taekwondo monkeys
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(WRCB-TV 3)
 
 
 
Drinking beer while crossdressing is no way to go through life, son. Especially when you're just four years old
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
A teen who was flashing her breasts at passing cars was found guilty of disorderly behavior after a distracted driver hit her with a car
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 241: "White". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 


Wed December 16, 2009
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
It's a bad day when you fall and impale yourself on a fence. But you know god really hates you when it takes 45 minutes for the nearest ambulance to reach you and they aren't allowed to turn the lights and siren on
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Top Pictures of the decade. Come for the Obamas and stay for the Squirrel-Fu action
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Got a RV equipped with GPS, an empty Nevada desert and a lot of time on your hands? Then you, too, can make the world's biggest piece of art
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Student's bold strokes in a high school art class lands him a jail sentence, sex offender title
source: crimeblog.dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this raised beef
source: farm1.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Lunchlady Doris is in hot water
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
If you go see Aunt Gladys and see she's unconscious and not breathing, call 9-1-1. If you go see Aunt Gladys and see she hasn't been conscious or breathing for 8 months, let it go man, cuz she's gone
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chilliest place in the Solar System ever measured by spacecraft found on the Moon, eclipsing the previous record held by your ex's cold, dark heart
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
"I voted for medical marijuana, but I didn't expect it to be in my backyard," says dumbass who should probably just buy some Roundup if it's in his backyard
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(298)
 
(Some Ex)
 
 
 
Man wins lottery, does what most men only dream of doing. Sail away to some tropical island? No, leave wife, evict her from house
source: justnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(257)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
"Please have a heart and donate...so I don't have to kill you and put your head on a pike"
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Your Christmas tree should be a reflection of your family. Subby wonders what garland goes with soul-crushing criticism and recrimination
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Nobody can eat fifty sewing needles." "My boy says he can eat fifty sewing needles, he can eat fifty sewing needles."
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Come to the upscale suburbs to sell heroin and oxy to bored white kids, and we'll throw in this federal anti-drug task force for free
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Plot thickens over Russian pantyhose probe"
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
"I work at a call center, and I make $10 an hour," he said. "It's surreal. I feel like a loser." Said by a guy who owes $125k in student loans and ended up with a degree in theater. Theater? Really??
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(783)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
The worst thing about the kidney exchange program is that by the time your body gets used to it, the semester is over and you have to pack it up and give it back
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Parents' Television Council files indecency complaint against "Family Guy" with the FCC. This is not a repeat from every other year beginning with a 2
source: broadcastingcable.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(328)
 
(WTAM)
 
 
 
Nothing says Christmas like a deranged snowman setting fire to foreclosed homes (w/ pics)
source: wtam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Mad scientist facing 5 years in jail if convicted of testing his earthquake generating technology on a Swiss city
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Tiger Woods named AP and AshleyMadison.com Player of the Decade
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
That little boy suspended and ordered to take a psychological evaluation because he drew a stick figure Jesus on a cross? Yeah, not so much
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(368)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Unlikely Santa's helpers
source: crossfit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Farker)
 
 
 
Reminder: Joint Mentally Incontinent, Fark book signing and Fark Party- downtown Indianapolis tonight
source: downtowncomics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(TechEBlog)
 
 
 
Real men of genius. Today we celebrate you, Mr "Why the hell shouldn't I mount a rocket launcher on my motorbike?" guy
source: techeblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(343)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
German quartet sensibly and efficiently chased into freezing shipping container by marauding wild pigs in the dead of night
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart loves supporting the troops, except when it comes to overcharging them for shipping
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(367)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man meeting the media
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(The New Yorker)
 
 
 
Subby can't decide if this is genius or simply idiotic, even for the New Yorker
source: newyorker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian healthcare still better than U.S., except for that little glitch where old people have to divorce in order to afford nursing homes
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(FoodNetworkHumor)
 
 
 
'Tis the season for best of 2009 lists so without further ado, here are the Food Network top 10 foodgasms
source: foodnetworkhumor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(TVWeek)
 
 
 
Obama to appear in a WWE special. Teleprompter Tag Team? Kenyan Cage Match?
source: tvweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
"Facts I Ought to Know about the Government of My Country" returned to library 99 years overdue. Fact #1: If you hold out long enough, you can get away with anything
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
If you could bring a person (real or fictional) from the past to the present for 48 hours, who would you choose and what would you do?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(609)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"A curse on these smug types who buy you a goat in Africa for Christmas"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Plight of Shinnecock members pricks conscience of US government
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Nearsightedness has increased since the 1970s, presumably because the Internet is for porn
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(The Union Leader)
 
 
 
Six students arrested in brawl with police at a Manchester, NH college. Come for the story, stay for the incredible flame war in the reader comments
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(250)
 


Tue December 15, 2009
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
City commissioner is asked to put nativity scene on courthouse lawn, but decides a flashing T-Rex and Loch Ness monster would be better choice for a religious display
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(216)
 
(Some Highlander)
 
 
 
Ultimate conundrum: there's a naked woman in your yard, but she has a sword and is screaming. What's your move, smart guy?
source: topofthenudes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Woman led long campaign to have window blinds and shades recalled, all because she didn't pay attention as her daughter was strangled to death by a mini-blind cord
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Swallow rehab for chicks. This could also work for boobies and tits
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
You are a responding officer on a call about a woman on a school campus "injuring herself" with a large knife. Do you: (c) shoot her in the head, thus "eliminating the problem"?
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(219)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man jumping through hoops
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(AnnArbor.com)
 
 
 
Guy who landed on sex offender registry for having sex with his 15 year-old girlfriend when he was 17 now faces a year in jail for playing basketball in his own driveway
source: annarbor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(348)
 
(Sky News)
 
 
 
Chinese cop who "died in the line of duty" declared a revolutionary hero. Fark: For drinking himself to death during official dinner
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ pharmacist charged with stealing 3,670 Valium. Asked to comment, he said, "Mmmrrrphhlll" and lolled his head around
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Hello, this is the Sheriff's office. Your husband is about to come home drunk with a gun and catch you with the pool boy. Just, you know, FYI."
source: kxly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Farker releases 2009 version of the controllable Christmas lights. Sadly, the web design is still stuck in 1991
source: komar.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Think you have cancer? Get a CT scan. Just be careful not to get cancer in the process
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang bang banana war
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Yahoo)
 
NewsFlash
 
Jesus prepares to receive Oral
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(913)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Labour arbitration panel hears name-calling case between priest and "Attila the Nun"
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Calgary considers mandating sprinkler systems in every new house. They must be really love their lawns
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Meth users in the Cape Girardeau, MO region: The local Sonics no longer offers their $20 crank special, so don't bother asking
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Drinking tea and coffee 'can prevent Type 2 diabetes'... 1 large Caramel Brulee Frappuccino Blended Crème whip, please
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"After claims last year of cough linctus in the gravy, Wigan event sees anger and a walkout over switch to Adlington pies"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Not news: Man hit by train, killed. Fark: Train was a dinner theater murder mystery train full of shocked old people. With pic
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(MyFox8)
 
 
 
If you are expected in court to face a fleeing charge, you might as well go all in and firebomb the place
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(IFC)
 
 
 
Drink a beer, spit, then scratch your crotch before using this handy flowchart to find a Manly Movie that matches your testosterone level (Sponsored Link)
source: ifc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Not News: Thief breaks into house. News: Police arrest thief. Fark: As he was taking a bath, in victims bathroom
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Thugs shoot their handguns sideways because it looks gangsta...and they've been missing their intended targets for more than a hundred years
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(531)
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Theme: Unlikely Martin Scorsese movies
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Illinois prison to take Gitmo detainees, making this the second time that an Illinois inmate is on a mission from God
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Testicularly gifted photographer stares down whirling dragster of doom
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(WHIO)
 
 
 
Not news Cop goes to party. News: with underage girls drinking. FARK: In uniform, immortalized on this 'my space' thingie that girls like to post pictures on. BONUS : Pictures of the cop 'busting' the underage girls at the party
source: whiotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Pilots With Altitude: Compton general aviation airport teaching kids to fly in exchange for volunteer community service hours
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Italian prosecutor sets up a nativity scene with a historically accurate dark-skinned Holy Family to troll an anti-immigrant group that's been staging a "White Christmas" campaign to harass foreigners
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 
(Iu viro)
 
 
 
Google festas Esperanton ial
source: esperanto-usa.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Slitty eyed-guy)
 
 
 
Poking fun at a cadet blinded in a bomb attack? All in a day's work for Britain's King of Comedy, Prince Philip
source: belfasttelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New geneological research reveals that Obama and Warren Buffet are actually distant cousins. Orly Tiatz immediately files suit demanding to see Buffet's birth certificate
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Apparently this needs repeating: Before exposing and fondling yourself on the subway, remember that cell phone cameras work whether the user can get a signal or not
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(MyFox Atlanta)
 
 
 
Thief uses tow truck to steal cars off police impound lot. Police believe the tow truck was originally used to tow around the thief's enormous iron balls
source: myfoxatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
You get into a dispute with another gym member over first dibs on the elliptical machine. Do you, c) call your two pals over to help you knife and clobber him with a hammer?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Burglar makes magician's belongings disappear
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Fraudsters get paid to take driving tests on behalf of dozens of cheaters. Bonus: They ended up failing most of them
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Taunton Gazette)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ, they suspended an eight year old student for that? (with stick figure goodness)
source: tauntongazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(755)
 
(Some IChuckPens)
 
 
 
To Drew, Farkers and TotalFarkers, a Thank You from IChuckPens and family
source: ichuckpens.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
The Great Firewall of Australia given the green light
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Swedish troops in Afghanistan in trouble for not paying local women for "massages". Tune in next week to find out if the story has a happy ending
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Just in time for Christmas, veterinarian becomes the first in the world to perform a laproscopic "keyhole" surgery on a reindeer
source: thecourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(WEAU 13 News)
 
 
 
"He smelled like alcohol. So I knew it wasn't the real Santa because Santa doesn't drink alcohol"
source: weau.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Sgt Shultz)
 
 
 
Need a last minute gift idea? How about sending a loved one to a re-creation of a German POW Camp
source: powescapes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop these standing stones
source: ballybegvillage.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remember the Brit who was arrested after beating an attacker who took his family hostage? The Nanny State has just sentenced him to two-and-a-half years while his "victim" is spared
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(555)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Women more likely to fondly remember their favorite pairs of shoes than to remember their boyfriends
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
As God is my witness, I thought Pomeranians could fly
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If you MUST rob a bank, don't make your getaway in your BMW with personalized plates bearing your name
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 


Mon December 14, 2009
(Fox News)
 
 
 
White House computer technicians discover 22 million previously missing Bush administration emails despite having to use keyboards lacking "W" keys
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(258)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Oh, yes, Hain Celestial Split Pea Soup. Full of country goodness, and milky peaness
source: just-food.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Supermarket unveils line of Christmas cards making fun of redheads. Naturally the gingers have a problem with it
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(272)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Gin And Titonic Ice Tray lets you make four icebergs and one ice-replica of the Titanic. "Sick and distasteful."
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(WJLA)
 
 
 
Postal Service says today is busiest mailing day of year, with 84 million pieces, of which 83.99 million will be junk mail or bills
source: wjla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this panel of experts
source: rit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Female veterans finding it difficult to find acceptance after combat tours. Come on guys, they've bled for this country more than anyone
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(429)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Let's see now, √((r²-l²)+(l+k)² - (√(r²-l²)-w)²)-l-... GOD DAMMIT, Get out of my parking spot
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Teacher cuts off a student's braid after she wouldn't stop playing with it in class. "I wasn't playing with it that loud."
source: wisn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(427)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Legionnaire's invade hotel in Florida, killing 1 and injuring two others
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Animal rescue organization asks that if you see a seagull looking "sad" in 2010, don't make an emergency call to it for help. Not like you did this year
source: newspostleader.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Pair of shadey characters robbing optometry stores last seen driving away in a 20/10 Cataract. Police are focusing in on them. Call if you have any contacts
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
The nominees for Time's Person of the Year 2009 are Steve Jobs, Ben Bernanke, The Chinese Worker, Nancy Pelosi, Gen. Stanley McChrystal, Usain Bolt, and President Barack Obama. And subby, for saving you from another slideshow
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
46 injured in 50-car pileup that stretches across entire width of Connecticut
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(241)
 
(City Pages)
 
 
 
Ray Comfort isn't just a moran, he's also a lazy, plagiarizing moran
source: blogs.citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(380)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Golfer sues golf club after slipping on wet shower floor. Because you wouldn't expect a shower floor to be, like, wet
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Oddee.com)
 
 
 
Some of the coolest Christmas ads from yesteryear that you'll see all day. Who knew Santa was such a nicotine addict and dirty old man?
source: oddee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Like Christmas decorations, the annual "we're running out of salt to de-ice roads" hysteria seems to come to the UK earlier every year
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Two supermarket customers both want the same shopping cart, so they do the only logical thing and attack each other with a salami and a four-pound hunk of cheese
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(WSMV Nashville)
 
 
 
SpaghettiOs to require additional salt
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Gang violence is on the rise in Nebraska. It just happens to be on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation. Yes, I said Indian Reservation. Sioux me
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Remember that psycho American Airlines flight attendant? And remember how American would neither apologize for nor correct the situation? Yeah, Delta decided to issue free Gold Status to anyone from the American flight
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Photoshop these martial artists
source: photos.upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Economist)
 
 
 
Prepare to have your dearest preconceptions utterly shattered - British kids have the best teeth in Europe
source: economist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Police charge master baiter and six jerks with cockfighting
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Three Americans who accidentally crossed into Iran will be tried. And not just becase Iran learned from N. Korea that you get great political concessions for convicting Americans and then negotiating their release
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Merry Christmas arrested; doesn't have presents of mind to beat the wrap
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Yes Virginia, Father Christmas is buried in Ireland
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Dear advice columnist: "I'm nearly 40 and still a virgin, what should I do?" Advice columnist: "Just go get a hooker, they're more or less legal nowadays anyway." Wait, what?
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(543)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus, and the recession's farked him over, too
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
All Norwegian women have beards, so the reporter is excused
source: cphpost.dk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Conductor tells a group of families that he is not their Polar Express train and the right train would come in ten minutes. The train never showed, so naturally "He ruined Christmas"
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The official Bishop for the British armed forces would just like to apologise for expressing his admiration for the Taliban
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Brisbane Times)
 
 
 
"Police expose serial flasher"
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(The Frisky)
 
 
 
Not news: Women are embarrased by baldness. News: In their babies. Fark: So now we have baby wigs
source: thefrisky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Judge rules cyberbullies still have First Amendment rights. "If all cruel teasing led to suicide, the human race would be extinct." And Fark would be nonexistent
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(531)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Priest dressed as Santa banned from delivering presents to children at an immigration asylum because some feared he was a security threat
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Despite little outward evidence, proposed Botox and plastic surgery tax evoking deep emotional reactions
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this beaming bum
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Over 65 researchers and medical students confirm that removing a Band-Aid quickly is less painful than removing one slowly. Still no cure for cancer
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Italian PM Silvio Berlusconi struck in face by flying cathedral
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Good: You receive BIE. Bad: They're your own/ Fark: Thanks to the Dell tech logged into your machine
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(3285)
 

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