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Sun November 22, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Not news: woman wants twins. News: woman already has thirteen kids. Fark: names include Peppermint, Echo, Rogue, Frodo, Morpheus, Blackbird and Voorhees. The Sun is there, and there, and there, and there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this immune system test
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Lots and lots of people would rather die than continue working for France Telecom
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(WTFark)
 
Plug
 
DEVOUTLY WITH A CHANCE OF MEATBALLS: Oklahoma Woman Takes DMV Photo Wearing Religious Headwear - A Spaghetti Strainer. Wait- Did He Boil For Our Sins?
 
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Doctors discover patient trapped in a 23-year 'coma' has been conscious all along
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(357)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Despite efforts to discourage them, Iraqi refugees keep flocking to Detroit, since living in a war-torn third world hellhole reminds them of home
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Congratulations to the unnamed motorist who received Virginia's first $1,000 traffic ticket for his/her fourth HOV (high occupancy vehicle) lane violation
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(NBC Bay Area)
 
 
 
If you are in Salinas, CA on Tuesday night and find yourself at a DUI checkpoint, you will either be going to jail or getting a free turkey
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(THR)
 
 
 
Next on the docket: Case No. 1950cv05050: Mouse vs. Duck for trademark infringement. Bonus: The summons was served by Goofy
source: thresq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(WTFark)
 
Plug
 
HAMSTER AND A PLATTER: Pizza Hut Austrailia Offers One Free Small Pet With 10 Large Pizzas.
 
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
The coolest Human-Powered Road-Going Viking Boat you'll see today
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Kid with terminal cancer is close to death and doesn't want to burden his family with restoring his prized Pontiac Fiero. Help comes in from all over the world. Hero tag runs over Dumbass tag for restoring a Fiero
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(Marietta Daily Journal)
 
 
 
Georgia's Supreme Court made it legal for 16-year-olds to fark their teachers last year, but wouldn't you know it, some party-poopers are trying to change that. Why won't they think of the children?
source: mdjonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When your guys are already out there on camera beating up protesters and gadflies, it's a really bad time to start a fight with the Boy Scouts
source: moelane.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Some NASA Contest)
 
 
 
Design a patch for the final shuttle mission. Difficulty: has to include mission number STS-134
source: collectspace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Another sign of a reviving economy: Michael Jackson's glove sells for $350,000, his fedora for $22,000 and his collection of Diana Ross albums for $10,000
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Flooding continues in Lancashire. Maybe if they drilled some drainage holes...about 4,000 should do the trick
source: lancashiretelegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man to marry his virtual girlfriend this weekend. Newlyweds will honeymoon at resort basement with a window view outside
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ahmadinejad in Tehran has a plot / But the US and Israelis think not / So they'll ready their planes / Cos they think he's insane / And build the world's biggest glass parking lot
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Be glad for the tryptophan in the turkey on Thanksgiving. It blocks the 9 aphrodisacs from turning family dinner into a hillbilly honeymoon
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Las Vegas passes law requiring all dogs and cats be sterilized. You bet your dog wants a bus ticket. So does your cat
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Brits up in arms over proposal to have their national health system provide counseling to couples whose marriages are on the rocks. Not like there's any link between relationship stability and health, after all
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
46 years ago today, a single man killed JFK
source: jfk-assassination.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(411)
 
(CBS4.com)
 
 
 
Tween pop star holds concert in mall. A twangle of tweens riot before show begins. Police arrest tween star's manager for failing to twitter to the tweens about the twangle. All twue
source: cbs4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Nurturing, caring and not-at-all helicoptery Manhattan parents hire tutors to get their kids ahead on the big entrance exam...for kindergarten
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Iran to conduct another photoshop exercise
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these desktop dispensers
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Earth's weather like you have never seen it before... with a little help from NASA's GEOS-5 atmospheric general circulation model
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Zim Diaspora)
 
 
 
Running errands for his job, man is kidnapped by 3 women, locked in a church, forced to have sex, then dumped at a shopping center. Cool story, bro
source: zimdiaspora.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
The Statue of Liberty. Mount Rushmore. The Washington Monument. And now, Billy Carter's gas station. Wait, what?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Britain's new internet law is as bad as everyone's been saying, and worse. Much, much worse
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Asbury Park Press)
 
 
 
Macy's Thanksgiving parade changes route; Charlie Brown balloon to get a come-on from the whores on Seventh Avenue
source: app.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
School board expels student for having legally possessed, unloaded shotguns off school property. In other news, schools are using dogs to search parked cars anywhere they damn well please, because it's for the children
source: chicoer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(256)
 
(Amazon)
 
 
 
The greatest Amazon customer reviews you'll read since the Tuscan Milk. Bonus product pictures
source: amazon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Tech Generation)
 
 
 
Scottish "brain scientist" urges schools to ditch computers for something called "books." With picture of what books might look like
source: tgdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Ft. Hood shooter paralyzed, incontinent, reports Journal of the World's Tiniest Violin
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(306)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
If you are receiving monthly insurance checks because you have claimed you are too depressed to work, it would be wise not to post pictures of yourself smiling in a bikini on the beach on Facebook
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(ABC27)
 
 
 
Radiation leak reported at Three Mile Island nuclear plant, no danger to public reported. No, this is not a repeat from 1979
source: whtm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fun-loving San Francisco cable car decides to give passengers an impromptu reminder of Newton's First Law of Motion
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flagrant foul
source: markshannon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
From The Article: He confessed saying he had snapped when he saw her shock at finding him masturbating while pulling on a scarf tied tight around his neck
source: croatiantimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 


Sat November 21, 2009
(News 1130)
 
 
 
You've shot yourself in the foot. Do you a) go to the hospital, b) call an ambulance, or c) try to handle it yourself, and die from loss of blood/shock?
source: news1130.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
Man attacked by assailants intent on stealing loaf of bread. It's a wonder he survived
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Progress: Story about cat stuck on top of utility pole has video. Fail: three minutes of cat's owner saying how smart her cat is, zero minutes of rescue. Adapt or die, newspapers
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this room under construction
source: rit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh plans to tax college students, wants them to pay fair share
source: pittsburghlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Genetics anti-bias law takes effect today, forcing insurance companies, employers to use outward appearance to discriminate against you
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Some slow moving Guy)
 
 
 
It's a boy: Zoo tortoise reveals mistaken identity after 50 years, so the zoo renamed the tortoise Terry formally known as Mary
source: content.usatoday.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Like some Farkers' dream girls, this suspect had nice melons and 800 pounds of pot. Unfortunately, that's where the similarities end
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
When schools remove chocolate milk from the cafeteria they are simultanously bombarded with student protests and expensive dairy industry media campaigns
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Funny, subby's cold-as-a-fish ex-wife is also named Wendy. I hope this doesn't get greenlit
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(Oxford Mail Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: dark-skinned man illegally parks car in London. Still not news: it's a riced-out Honda. Fark: cops blow it up as a terrorist threat
source: oxfordmail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Not-Christmas not-tree decorated with not-lights will sit on city common this generic holiday season
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Rice paddy art. Sure it's a slide show, but if they can plan and plant this and erect a tower to view it from, surely you can manage to move your mouse
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
University bars 30+ students from graduating due to their obesity. This headline would have been funnier, but I'm busy trying to explain to my parents why I won't be getting my degree in Communications
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
School for the blind in Baghdad gets aid shipment. I SAID SCHOOL FOR THE BLIND IN BAGHDAD GETS AID SHIPMENT
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Okay, NOW you can officially panic
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
People shocked, SHOCKED, to discover that ads urging you to sell old jewellery for cash may not be as glittering as they seem
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these airborne angry abstracts
source: fwystudios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(The Pulse)
 
 
 
One would think that packing heat in a bar is a recipe for disaster. Sadly, it took one of those crazy "activist judges" to finally use some common sense
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(225)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Duke of Northumberland, who owns Hogwarts, is not real Duke of Northumberland, alleges retired hockey player from New Zealand
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nearly 40% of all Americans ages 18 to 24 were enrolled in college this year, ensuring us a future of very well educated fast food workers and Walmart clerks
source: fe17.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Reading Eagle)
 
 
 
If you stole someone's five-foot good luck distelfink, the Pennsylvania Dutch would like to speak to you, and remind you that stealing good luck symbols is bad luck
source: readingeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Semi-nude Victoria's Secret fashion models reveal untold talents and you've already clicked the link, haven't you? Have I told you about my mother lately? No, she's doing fine, just making cheesecake and some muffins this morning
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(199)
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
If police are kind enough to place your bank robbery note in front of you, you might as well eat it. Claim is was bad poetry later (with dashcam munching video)
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Burka Barbie
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The US Postal Service agrees to allow Santa's enslaved work force to continue to receive his mail
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Intelligencer)
 
 
 
General Washington and Continental Army worry that park closure may disrupt secret plan to cross Delaware, surprise Hessians at Trenton
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(asylum.com)
 
 
 
Certain letters burn out on Elmhurst Hospital sign to create second sign full of win
source: asylum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Two-year-old Shyla, a cat-loving chihuahua, decided to start nursing seven abandoned kittens, just in time for Caturday
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1076)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Man arrested at airport with 15 live lizards strapped to chest. Custom agents became suspicious after hearing voices with Cockney accents offering a savings of 15% on car insurance
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
There isn't a facepalm big enough: couple claims Michael Jackson is appearing in their child's ultrasound. "It is my seventh child, and seven is a mythical number."
source: shieldsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
♫ I took a little souvenir-o of a man / Stole a tooth, stole a tooth, fingers and a ver-te-bra / Hidden out of sight, but now they'll see the light again / GALILEO galileo GALILEO galileo Galileo Figaro / Magnificoooooo ♫
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(New Zimbabwe)
 
 
 
Man offers to pay kid to spit in his face, gets arrested. In related news, "annoying a child" is a crime. Don't anyone tell subby's teenager
source: vcstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
Police To Man: Why did you crash into this building? Man: Because the FBI have a mind-reading device in there, of course. Police: This isn't an FBI building
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop these spotted sea squirts
source: photography.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Limerick Leader)
 
 
 
100-foot Christmas Tree crashes into bridge, makes its presents felt
source: limerickleader.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 


Fri November 20, 2009
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this diver
source: photography.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(FarmAndDairy)
 
 
 
Opportunities exist for beef, dairy producers to utilize damaged corn. Subby is sure milking the corn today
source: farmanddairy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
And if thy ex-girlfriend's eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from the 8th-floor balcony
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Nerve)
 
 
 
What has being a Dungeons and Dragons player taught you about dating?
source: advice.nerve.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(285)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Yesterday: Stop getting mamograms, they're too expensive. Today: Stop getting pap smears, they're too expensive
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
This week's TSG mugshot round up- someone is gettin' fired at the "gun"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(272)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Great Corn Adventure
source: urbanext.illinois.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Human Fat found in cosmetics. You submitted this with a Tyler Durden reference
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Going to the movies this weekend? Chow down three McDonald's Quarter Pounders and 12 pats of butter before you go. It'll be healthier than ordering a medium popcorn (without butter)
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two girls make 1st Cornhole Cup a success
source: sbc.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Michelle Malkin)
 
 
 
If you have hacked your way into the world's most prestigious global warming center and downloaded documents indicating the whole thing is a hoax, quite a few people would like a word with you
source: michellemalkin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(903)
 
(The Roanoke Times)
 
 
 
Tupperware crash causes delays on interstate, officials reportedly couldn't contain the spill
source: roanoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
China's corn output is likely to drop during 2010 due to continued drought in the North East region
source: pr-inside.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Yorkshire Ripper nearly blinded by Broadmoor Killer. No, this is not a story about pro-wrestling
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
When the police knock on your door, it's best not to answer it while covered in bank dye and holding a big bag of crack
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man hhhhhholds up bank armed only with his hhhhhhalitosis
source: pasadenastarnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Angry man in van terrorizes peaceful island for years; now the lead singer of the Killer Bagels is dead. Not a movie plot, unfortunately
source: timescolonist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Apple tells smokers who have sent their machines in for repair that their warranty is voided, because it doesn't cover damage caused by second-hand smoke. WHERE IS YOUR OS X NOW?
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(670)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these seashore shards
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
ADM says corn chowder will be creamier for the holidays this year
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Correctness)
 
 
 
Superhero Smackdown: The FINAL. Superman vs The Flash
source: thecorrectness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(TheIndyChannel)
 
 
 
Doughnut shop robbed and employees forced to remove pants at gunpoint; unbelievably, police were nowhere to be found
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
AAA releases their much anticipated report concluding that many people will be driving during the Thanksgiving holiday
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman wakes up to find a strange man wearing her bra and panties (w/ picture of what a strange man who wears bras and panties might look like)
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Nominations now open for Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest (repost, link goes to Monday's thread)
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Residents of Cockermouth are rescued from their homes by dinghys on Friday after heavy rain caused flooding in Cumbria
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Sharp-eyed researcher finds laundry instructions on Shroud of Turin
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(248)
 
(NBC New York)
 
 
 
I bet you weren't expecting the "She can't have been drunk; she talked McDonald's into making lunch during breakfast hours" defense
source: nbcnewyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Danbury News Times)
 
 
 
Man arrested for assault thanks to his last name, helpfully displayed on his vanity plate. That's some F1NE police work, Lou
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man claims his friends got drunk and cut off his electronic monitoring device. Or maybe some students attacked him and cut it off. He can't decide
source: leaderlive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(6)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
The rule about wearing white after Labor Day is now being strictly enforced by men with guns
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Music teacher jailed for playing skin flute. You submitted this with A minor joke
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(WTVR)
 
 
 
Miley Cyrus' tour bus crashes in Virginia. Driver dead, no word on the condition of either Miley Cyrus or Hannah Montana
source: myfox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(348)
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Poncho Claus, an entertainer known for leading a caravan of low riders through neighborhoods and passing out Christmas presents, has been hospitalized. Bueno suerte, señor
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"Predator" who posed as Australian cab driver jailed, possibly by Lieutenant Harrigan
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
A Bronx hospital and the city are really hEARing it from a Bronx man whose ear was thrown in the garbage. Ear we go again with another unbEARable lawsuit
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If you've collected $150,000 in fraudulent disability benefits, you may want to keep your able-bodied ass off of national television
source: fe17.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
TSG Friday Photo Fun challenges you to identify the celebrity who was busted at the pictured location. Contest closes 6PM Eastern
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
I don't care if she is Brazilian, there's "hittable crazy", then there's "set fire to a transvestite over a missing handbag" crazy. You've got to draw the line somewhere
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Police officer missing after "Biblical floods" hit Northern England. Authorities expect to begin the search in 40 days
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Scientists have learned some amaizing kernels of truth from mapping the corn genome. "They're just popping up"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Royal Carribbean launches "Oasis of the Seas," a ship that's five times as big as the Titanic, can't dock in many ports because of its size, and can spread Hantavirus to almost 7000 people at once
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(268)
 
(Only in Vantucky)
 
 
 
Not News: Woman organizes charity carwash for hit and run victim's family. Sorta News: Woman steals from carwash. FARK: To bail out the suspect in the hit and run case
source: columbian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Top S. Korean model found hanged in her Paris apartment. Police are unable to determine a time of death, because, as a model, she's looked like a corpse for some years now
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Here it is, this year's USA Today bit about what infrequent fliers can expect at airports, including less flights, higher fees, longer lines, alligator pits,and a Muzak version of "Oops I Did It Again" played on an infinite loop
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Urlee Inglesh lurneeng comz undurr acuhdemik atak
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Iowa town needs emergency coconuts after massive lime spill
source: timesrepublican.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Awww)
 
 
 
Cameraman captures photos of a polar bear viciously attacking a human
source: magic-city-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Some Chicken Lover)
 
 
 
Apparently, the idea of putting on a giant chicken suit and crashing a city council meeting hasn't gotten old in Colorado
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Not news: coming home from a weekend trip and discovering that your house was broken into. FARK: broken into to hang Christmas decorations
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
If you're so exhausted after a three day coke and hooker orgy that the pimp cuts you off, it might be a sign you need to slow down. Wouldn't you agree, Rabbi?
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Man accused of using squeegee to attack another in fight over gas pump. Victim says he clearly saw what happened
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Himalayan horn blowers
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(CBS5.com)
 
 
 
Sunnyvale, CA named happiest place in America, Crappyville still least happy
source: cbs5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Couple arrested for refusing to pay a mandatory 18 percent gratuity at a restaurant. "I had to get napkins and silverware for the table myself"
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(584)
 
(Chronicle-Herald)
 
 
 
UK man invents humane lobster killing device. PETA buys two, ships them to Arizona for promotional lobsterfest. Courier company loses the devices. PETA forced to boil hundreds of lobsters alive to avoid crustecean-craving lynch mob
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Three French hens, two turtle doves, and 316,000 bongs disguised as christmas ornaments in a shipping container
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Gardener finds a squash in the shape of a duck. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
500 sheep die in crash. Try not to lose any sleep over it
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Jeanne-Claude, co-creator of "The Gates," and wife of Christo, dies at 74. That's a wrap
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Hot Air)
 
 
 
New L.A. ACORN sting: "Why, sure I'll help you launder money to pimp underaged girls"
source: hotair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(390)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Squirrels, having trouble climbing down trees, evolved more flexible ankles. Cats, having trouble climbing down trees, evolved humans with pulleys
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 


Thu November 19, 2009
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Awkward family holiday gatherings
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you're trying to rob a home, the only thing scarier than looking up and seeing the homeowner aiming a gun at you is when the homeowner is a 91-year-old naked man. "He was screaming."
source: newsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
800-pound man stays eight months in his recliner without getting up. What a lazy boy
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(346)
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Toddler falls into baptismal font. To answer the obvious question: Yes, he was saved
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Car slams into bakery. THAT'S the way the cookie crumbles
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
"Correction: A headline incorrectly stated 'stolen groceries.' It should have read 'homicide.' "
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Owner of famous NYC bagel company charged with tax fraud. Prosecutors say they have more than enough to lox him away, though his lawyers say he's the victim of a schmear campaign
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cowgirl ringing the dinner bell
source: historiann.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(News Times)
 
 
 
Uranus stolen from school's model solar system. Staff are all butt-hurt about it
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(WTAE-TV)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Pittsburgh Police Want To See Junk In Your Trunk"
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Compact fluorescent bulbs save energy by getting dimmer over time
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(446)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
What happens when the irresistable force of "think of the children" meets the immovable object of "not in my backyard"?
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(KOMU)
 
 
 
Farker gets injured in Iraq. Now the government refuses to give TSGLI benefits, claiming that his paralysis doesn't qualify as a "traumatic event". W/Video containing pics of what a traumatic event might look like
source: komu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(362)
 
(macon.com)
 
 
 
Trial near for woman accused of dismembering husband now that prosecutors have the put pieces of their case together
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Welcome to Australia, where the men are men and the koalas are all dying from stress-induced chlamydia
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
US Postal Service, Grinch suspends Santa letter program in North Pole, Alaska after one of the elves turns out to be a registered sex offender
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Slapping stuffing on the outside of the bird was an inspired way to hide the fact that it had been partly eaten by a raccoon."
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Scientists continue to go down the list of things in the world and study them to see if they save us from the flu. Right now, they're on "caterpillar ovaries"
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
Alan Moore, destroyer of library workers
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(430)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Today is World Toilet Day, and around the globe, people are flushed with excitement
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Posting a naughty word on the internet can cost you your job these days. Farkers back away from their computers, slowly
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"A child, two guys, can of Quick Start, Bic lighter: How could this not go wrong?"
source: failuremag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Two thirds of respondents in national poll say they do not plan to get swine flu vaccine, will just sue somebody later on if they get sick
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
How to tell if your car mechanic is scamming you. Step 1: Look down -- do you have boobies?
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(306)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Charter bus returning from casino rolls over, kills two. What are the odds?
source: albertleatribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Communist era draws to a close after 10,000 years...in British Columbia
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Crane takes out house while trying to remove a tree. If do right, no can defense
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(My Fox Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Not News: Woman gives birth. News: Woman gives birth during her wedding. FARK: She's eleven years old
source: myfoxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(298)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Cook County out $14,000 for toilet paper injury; though officials believe the claim is crap, they hope the settlement will wipe the slate clean
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
From the Research Department of the Institute for the Bleedin' Obvious: bacon = heroin
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Drinking alcohol every day can cut a man's risk of heart disease by a third, says a study by the University of Freaking Awesome
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
"In addition, employees and students spent an unexpectedly large amount of time visiting websites featuring pornography"
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Here's your annual "YOU'RE ALL GOING TO DIE ON THE WAY GRANDMA'S HOUSE" article for Thanksgiving
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania residents fight for right to hang laundry. Laundry demands jury trial
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
The TSA would like to provide you with their annual reminder that Thanksgiving leftovers are not allowed in carry-on luggage
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In the red corner we have Dean Affleck, the 18 year old burglar with a meat cleaver, and in the blue corner we have Chloe Edwards, aged 5. Place your bets now
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(TSP)
 
 
 
After losing a game of 'Strip Yatzee', a woman heads to the bedroom with her exboyfriend. Her current boyfriend finds out, and she claims it was rape. But you just want to know the rules to Strip Yatzee
source: thestarpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(308)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Any landing you can walk away from is a good one, unless you land in LAVA
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Holiday tipping guidelines so you can be generous without overspending. And I think I speak for all of the waitresses and waiters out there when I say, if you can't tip at least 18 percent stay home and make a sandwich
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(607)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
There are two stories here - the world's worst hippy mother and the fact that in India you can be charged with "assault with intent to outrage a woman's modesty and administering a stupefying drug with intent to harm"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bad: Your jeep overturns and you're thrown out. Fark: Into a pride of lions
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Konnie Huq wants to know what it would take to get you to kiss her
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Forties dudes
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Houston Herald)
 
 
 
Five Licking Teens Hurt in Wreck. Well, at least they weren't texting
source: houstonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Racism in my math homework? NO WAI
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(489)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you're going to rob an 82-year-old lady, pick one who doesn't have a hairbrush
source: newsletter.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Spilled drink leads to gunfight in Cypress Hills bar. Ever heard a Glock go click like a camera?
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(My Fox Los Angeles)
 
 
 
There has to be a better place to start a large-scale marijuana growing operation than behind a Los Angeles police station
source: myfoxla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Federal judge rules Army Corps of Engineers responsible, and liable, for much of the post-Katrina flooding in New Orleans
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(338)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 237: "Filtered For Your Protection" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Teen calls 911 after parents take away Xbox
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 


Wed November 18, 2009
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Newspaper threatened with 'another Fort Hood' for criticizing Tea Party protest
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(224)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
"Suspicious cans" shut down Chicago courthouse garage. Tara Reid wanted for questioning
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(San Francisco 49ers)
 
 
 
Troops to behead bin Laden one chocolatey bite at a time
source: hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his capsized craft
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Protip: When you savagely beat a stranger in a pub with a pint glass, you better make sure you aren't Facebook friends with her Facebook friends. With "I already told you once" pic
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Push to raise drinking age from 18 to 19 in Australia to curb supposed drinking problem. Because if there's one thing teenagers love to do, it's respect authority and obey the law. Two things
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Some judge)
 
 
 
Judge to Sheriff Joe: your minion shall apologize. Sheriff Joe to judge: bite me
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(201)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
For $1,700, you can see what your baby's name means in 100 languages. Note: Does not include obviously made-up names like LaQuiesha, Mychaelya, and Frank
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(344)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In a strong bid for their own tag, Kentucky man arrested while masturbating in the library - watching a wrestling video
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man shot in hair salon robbery, dyes soon afterward. Another life cut short
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Canadian couple gets so tired of their children's excessive homework that they actually do something about it
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(427)
 
(KOLO News 8)
 
 
 
Having never read FARK, couple posts video of an "unidentified" amber light they saw sitting stationary in the sky. With video that will make you facepalm
source: kolotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(209)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Worst word ever: L*m*ne. (Not safe for work language)
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(358)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
What your folks do for half the year, why they shouldn't, and why you're much happier not knowing about it
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crude kitchen
source: de.img.seen.by   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(LBEH)
 
 
 
Man raises money to fly military folk home for the holidays, believes that soldiers' time in unconventional combat against unseen extremists might adequately prepare them for a typical family Thanksgiving
source: lbeh.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Group finds high levels of lead in Disney, Barbie toys, which can cause irreversible brain damage. The lead can be harmful too
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Old & Busted: Zero Tolerance. New hotness: School administrators force parents to attend re-education meetings
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Couple hatch a plot to urn money by stealing cemetary vases. That takes some brass ones
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(City Pages)
 
 
 
Man speaks only Klingon to his child for its first three years. Hero tag grabs a bat'leth and sends Sad tag to Sto-Vo-Kor
source: blogs.citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(340)
 
(IFC)
 
 
 
No one from the original Dazed and Confused would be in the second Dazed and Confused, except for Matthew McConaughey. Because he keeps getting older but they stay the same age (Sponsored Link)
source: ifc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Coors Light it ain't: More "extreme beers" come on the market, including an IPA that aged for two months on a mackerel trawler and an ale with 225 bitterness units but only 1.1 percent alcohol
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(261)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Indian woman divorces husband after he banned her from watching soap operas. Her plans now involve falling in love with a mysterious doctor who will later turn out to be her previous husband's long lost half-brother
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Intelligencer)
 
 
 
Bad: You run down a bicyclist while driving. Worse: Because you're texting. Fark: About the drugs you're going to sell someone
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(225)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Raw milk producer waits for ruling. Hopes for bovine intervention
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Family sues kite fighters for nearly decapitating their son. In other news, there are kite fighters
source: avvo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(News24)
 
 
 
Politicians say reggae singer's rendition of National Anthem was so bad, it constituted treason
source: news24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Union blocks bonus pay for good teachers, doesn't want bad teachers to feel inferior
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(252)
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Town proposes raising fine for too-tall grass to $1000 a day. "Code enforcement needs a larger hammer."
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Some Bomb)
 
 
 
Suspect empties courtroom by shouting that there's a bomb in the courthouse where he's being charged with calling in hoax bomb threats to 10 schools within 4 hours
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
20% of Kyrgyz brides now have western-style "engagement" before wedding, while 80% still enjoy traditional Kyrgyz kidnapping
source: eng.24.kg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Surprising absolutely no one, carbon offsets aren't worth the glossy, embossed paper they're printed on
source: starbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(234)
 
(Some Green Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: make something already "green" even greener (LGT a hybrid plug-in)
source: themotorreport.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Honolulu Advertiser)
 
 
 
Hawaii no longer healthiest state in the nation, due partly to binge drinking. But hey, fourth-healthiest, with bikini babes and binge drinking ain't bad
source: honoluluadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Xenophon vs. Xenu
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(Dispatch)
 
 
 
Man steals $1.35 pie, judge decides to fark with his head, tells him he's been charged with rape and murder
source: dispatch.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(NY1.com)
 
 
 
Consumer Product Safety Commission hosting town meeting at Toys-R-Us in Times Square to talk about toy safety. Irwin Mainway reportedly not invited to participate
source: ny1.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australian teenager dies in workplace electrocution. See, this is why you should always ground your teenagers
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Daily Telegraph)
 
 
 
Somebody figure out a way to tell the Australian press that Pro Wrestling isn't real
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Dog survives 130-foot cliff plunge, despite a ruff landing
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Texans: Think you're married? Maybe not
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
When it comes to killing your husband, third time is the charm. Oh, wait. Scratch that
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
City workers' union may file a greivance against an Eagle Scout for cleaning a walking trail, taking their jobs
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
After hearing of a police chase on his scanner, man dresses as suspect and goes outside to "see if police would notice him." "Well, we noticed him."
source: redding.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(thestranger.com)
 
 
 
Man has remote-controlled bowels implanted after motorcycle accident, really loses his shiat when wife changes the channel
source: slog.thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Jerusalem Post)
 
 
 
Israel ranks 32nd in the latest global corruption index behind New Zealand, Denmark and Singapore and ahead of Iran, Somalia and Egypt. Hoping that if they win out they can still get a BCS Bowl
source: jpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Kick a police officer in the nads? That's a Taserin' and you'll scream like a 10-year old girl
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Woman drives to jail, demands to be arrested "so she could help the prisoners inside." Alcohol was involved
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
PETA wanted to fill 3,500 buckets with pig urine and poo and place them on the U.S. Capitol plaza, then place fans to blow the stench across the Hill. Surprisingly the U.S. Capitol Hill police said "no."
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(SC Times)
 
 
 
ASCAP, jealous of the RIAA's press, decides to do the only thing it can, put the squeeze on bars and coffee shops that offer live music
source: sctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(322)
 


Tue November 17, 2009
(CNN)
 
 
 
Georgia teacher arrested for hitting on student. No, wait, that's "putting a hit on" not "hitting on". Sorry, reflex action
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Government board tells women to stop getting mamograms so often, they're too expensive. Err, I mean, they don't work
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Danish political party admits to covering posters for opposing parties' candidates with yellow stickers shaped like penises. Nice try, but in America, we go all out and put the dicks on the actual BALLOTS
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this person and a passel of postcards
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Sky News)
 
 
 
Shark gives birth via "c-section" after being bitten by second shark, an action that has been castigated by natural-birth advocate sharks worldwide
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Whittier Daily News)
 
 
 
Don't bring a knife to a bench fight
source: whittierdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Seniors skeptical of health overhaul, meatloaf Wednesdays
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Hey mon. A judge has ruled the TSA can't force Rastafarian baggage screeners to cut their hair. Yea mon
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(Radio Iowa)
 
 
 
New report from the Iowa department of public health shows that 7% of 6 year olds suffer from lead poisoning, possibly because their parents are feeding them too many Pb & J sandwiches
source: radioiowa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
MillerCoors contributes $500,000 to water education program, which apparently educates people about their own products
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Rasmussen Reports)
 
 
 
Twenty-six percent of people say they've worked with someone who had the potential to go postal and take everybody out with a flamethrower and pipebombs filled with nails and rat poison
source: rasmussenreports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(376)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Police find man claiming to be a ninja impaled on metal fence screaming for help, violating about a dozen Ninja rules
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(KCRG)
 
 
 
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds- but passed out drunk in a stranger's kitchen is a problem
source: kcrg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
When robbing a pharmacy, you don't need to wear a surgical mask, but if it makes you feel more comfortable, go ahead and put it on
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Man, 74, convinced there is a mysterious sea creature in the canal behind his house. With pics
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Orange juice is just as bad for kids as Pepsi, Coke, and whiskey
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(401)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
French hotel to give customers the chance to live like a hamster for a day, with a room featuring bales of straw and a giant wheel to exercise in. You'll have to pay extra to crash a jet powered dragster if you want the full experience
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Just when you thought that everything that could possibly be flavored with bacon had been, someone comes along and proves you wrong
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Woman attempts to cross the Mexico-US border hidden in suitcase. Agents still trying to get a handle on the situation
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Thief takes time out from robbing a house to warm up a bottle of milk and feed a crying baby
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(MyFox Atlanta)
 
 
 
Atlanta City Councilman proposes pushing last call back two and a half hours
source: myfoxatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
French women are legally required to be pantsless unless riding a bicycle
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(PCWorld)
 
 
 
"Unfriend" beats out "hypermiling", "locavore", "paywall", "hashtag" and "carbon neutral" to become the OED 2009 Word That Will Sound Like Total Gibberish By 2012
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Not news: Man trims his hedge. Fark: With a ride-on lawnmower dangling from a crane
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Norway sentences the Son of God to jail for his driving violations
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Biden Escort Involved in Wreck - You'd think the vice president would be driving a better car
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these riders going around and around
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Running into a burning house to save your family? Hero. Running back in to save your cell phone? Darwin
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
If a Brazilian bride shoots French-employed paparazzi at her Costa Rica wedding, where should they bury the survivors' lawsuit?
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
People over 55 are the most active and experimental daters, at least until they reach around 80, when they tend to just lie there
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Ingredients needed for "this should end well" headline: Tanker ship full of chemicals? Check. 28 North Koreans on board? Check. Somali pirates? Check
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Jessica Alba pounds the pavement in the halls of Congress for education funding. With pictures of what a Jessica Alba asking Hillary Clinton sign her ball might look like. Bonus: Caption Contest (w/voting)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
An Iowa City woman said she has suffered physical and mental pain for the last two years after a shampoo bottle was dropped on her head
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Chicago School Board President Michael Scott was found dead of an apparent suicide. A handgun, his cell-phone, and some Schrutebucks were found near his body
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Not News: Burger flipper spits in someone's food. News: Burger flipper spits in the Chief of Police's food. Fark: Burger flipper could face 10 years in prison as a result
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(349)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Half of Americans willing to pay for online news, but only at an average of $3 a month. In other news, TotalFarkers are finally above average for once
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
If crime runs in your family, keep in mind that so does your DNA
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this magnified view
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Repo man struck by repossessed car. It's all part of a cosmic unconciousness
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 


Mon November 16, 2009
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Obama calls on China to free the Internet. China promptly answers Obama's call by censoring it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
"Navy may test live bombs in central Florida." Thank God
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Running over a man while doing 85mph in your Maserati is bad. Even worse if he's in his house at the time
source: wmbfnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Nobody can whine about the recession quite like a member of Generation X. "It's so annoying."
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(400)
 
(Some Guys)
 
 
 
Photoshop this '50's science fiction
source: img512.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(CNSNews)
 
 
 
The CDC says that sex ed is better than abstinence, but they can't let you see the data, so just like your prom date, you'll have to trust them
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Nominations now open for Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(463)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Motorcycle driver dies in collision with moose. Squirrel unharmed
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Demand grows for niche translators. Anyone speak niche?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Let me get this straight. Illegal activity actually helps fund further illegal activity?
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Unfreakable)
 
 
 
A quick note about the upcoming Headline of the Year contest, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/8 - 11/14
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
The intruder was described in a police report as a large woman who was naked. She ran out a back door
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Warming Glow)
 
 
 
To get here, hang a left on Main Street and go about two blocks down, my house is the one on the left that looks like Bender
source: warmingglow.uproxx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Crack team of New Zealand scientists head to the South Pole to prospect for whisky
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Indianas News Center)
 
 
 
Man arrested for doing 69 the wrong way in 2 states
source: indianasnewscenter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Single Army mom arrested for not deploying to Afghanistan because she could find no one to care for her child. Child sent to CPS. With pic of what a deploying mother saying goodbye to her child might look like
source: truthout.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(966)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
You've seen him do Judo. You've seen him kill a tiger. Now Vladimir Putin is getting mad respect on the Russian hip hop scene
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
The Easy Button having failed, authorities begin an aisle-by-aisle search of Staples for a small aircraft
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tea time
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chlamydia, gonorrhea and syphilis are more popular than ever... and not just as kids names
source: fe23.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(IMDB)
 
 
 
Equalized
source: imdb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Obama tells China that with an uncensored internet citizens can begin to think for themselves, learn to type with one hand
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(PhysOrg.com)
 
 
 
Scientists pinpoint source of arsenic in Bangladesh's drinking water. In other news, besides the poverty, starvation, malaria, dengue, and getting hit by more typhoons than trailer parks do by tornadoes, Bangladesh has arsenic in its water
source: physorg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Some Giraffe Farker)
 
 
 
"Maybe he had struck out with all the women at the bar and this giraffe was looking pretty good, so he said, 'I'm going to take it back to my own place'"
source: dailytidings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
German man dies after receiving flu shot in Thuringia, which is why you should always remember to give them in the arm
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you're planning to sell weed door to door, be sure the person you're trying to sell to is not a cop
source: krgv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
DO: use a maritime distress flare when you are stranded at sea. DON'T: aim a maritime distress flare at a four-year-old boy walking on a city sidewalk
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
What does it say about our society when even in these economically down times, the mobile pet grooming business is thriving?
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Pointy conical bras of the '50s are making a comeback. This must be stopped right now
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(971)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Large fire at meat factory forces evacuations, increase in A1 sales
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Super hero, The Dominator, dies...at age 7
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Turkey, with impeccable timing and survival instincts, decides mid-November is the best time to run open on the streets and chase cars
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Police department raising money for traffic cameras by holding raffle for home entertainment system. Winner to enjoy vehicle crashes in HD
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Australia apologizes for mass child abuse. Nothing yet about Kylie Minogue
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Swine flu. New hotness: Ukranian 'super flu.' EVERYONE PANIC
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
A woman with a medical condition that gives her 300 orgasms a day has found a man of her dreams after she wore out a string of boyfriends. w/pic
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(351)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Faith healer parents whose child died due to their negligence will receive only a six month sentence, to be served one month out of each year. Unsurprisingly, some people have a problem with that
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(249)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Families spend 4 days a year arguing. THAT'S 11 YEARS A MILLENNIUM
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this human hamster
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Author of famous call-girl blog reveals her true identity as a scientist (with a picture of what a call-girl might look like)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Post Bulletin)
 
 
 
The latest victim of H1N1: Hand Puppets
source: postbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Iraq: Armed gangs, supported by the population. Underresourced authorities seen as occupiers. Strong ethnic, cultural and language barriers. A surge in progress. Wait, did I say Iraq? I meant Salinas, Calfornia
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(265)
 
(Rutland Herald)
 
 
 
Salmon apologizes for driving drunk, admits it was a crappie thing to do
source: rutlandherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 

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