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Sun July 26, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Behind the proliferation of bacon offerings - bacon salt, bacon doughnuts, bacon-infused vodka - is a confluence of government policy and manipulation of consumer taste that has turned bacon into a weapon of mass destruction"
source: organicconsumers.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Denmark's newest Prince baptised, already looking daggers at his uncle
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you're in England and you fend off multiple assailants at your home with a letter opener, you'll be charged with attempted murder
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(272)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Thanks to evolution, women are getting hotter, while men remain just as ugly as before
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(333)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Serendipitous: Meeting and falling in love with her at a comic-book convention your friends dragged you to, taking her on car trips and posing for touristy pictures. Fark: She is a 2D cartoon image on a body pillow you take all over Tokyo
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Planetologists propose building thousand-mile long shield wall to prevent the spread of deserts, sandworms
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Tired of the loud shrieking, vandalism and head-punching, Tokyo residents fight the Black Crows with mayonnaise
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
North Korea opens first fast-food restaurant. In others news, North Korea has food
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
British mountain climber leaves his mark on the world
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stacked sacks scaler
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
20,000 people take to streets of Scotland to protest closure of whisky distillery, demand to know what they're supposed to have for breakfast now
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
"In case of emergency, here's a brick"
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
To the person who had too much time on his hand, we say thanks. Stop Motion Sand Sculpture
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
What do many of history's great achieving men and woman have in common? They got little sleep each night
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
In joyous news to Farkers everywhere: Be fat, live longer.... now pass me the baconaise
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(godbitesman.com)
 
 
 
Evry wrd ecxept "Exit" speled rong on Wisconssin hihway sine. Wut ignorent morans
source: godbitesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Washington state wants to both make breastfeeding legal and become the first state in the union to ban consensual sex between adults (if one of them is a teacher)
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(325)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Anti-bottled water website encourages users to start a lie about the industry
source: startalie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(396)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Neighbors of a farm upset that the farm smells...like a farm
source: carrollcounty.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Yes, there is an International Flipper Pinball Association and a place where pinball wizards can duke it out in tournaments
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman wins payout after botched plastic surgery leaves her looking like Curt Shilling on the losing end of a bar fight
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Montana's News Station)
 
 
 
Stuntman attempts world record car jump at Evel Knievel Days, with Knievel-esqe results (pics and vid)
source: montanasnewsstation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Exotic pet amnesty day brings a little bit of Florida to the Nutmeg State
source: connpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
The perfect vehicle for the guy who thinks a scooter is just too manly
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(306)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
India christens her first nuclear submarine with a coconut
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
British health officials reported 100,000 new cases of swine flu in the country in the past week, double the tally of the week before. Haven't we seen this movie before?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(WMTW.com)
 
 
 
Help Wanted: Must love being tugged at by children, laughed at by the opposing team, and be willing to wear a red lobster costume in the heat of the summer for $50 a game
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Scotland has so many Scots leaving that they're advertising for illegal immigrants. New slogan: "It's nicer than Afghanistan"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
A military recruiter misleading someone? Unpossible
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(230)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this articulated assembly robot
source: img.directindustry.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Researchers at the Institute for the Obvious say caffeine-drinking teens lack sleep
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Concubines making a comeback in China
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Girls win 4 of 6 titles in the 72nd All-American Soap Box Derby, boys claim cooties were involved
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
HEY (hey) YOU (you) ... Get off of my lawn
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
From the "whatever happened to so-and-so" files: Neil Armstrong working as a financial services professional in suburban Cincinnati
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Mr. Pink plays the world's smallest violin just for all the waiters and waitresses in the country who did not get a pay raise when the minimum wage was increased
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(430)
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Vintage VW squareback saved from the crusher. Subby has somthing in his eye
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Church of England says fatties and baldies should be considered "special needs" groups, just like the blind, the deaf, breastfeeding mothers, midgets, and readers of tabloid newspapers. No, really
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(MaineToday.com)
 
 
 
The Boston Herald has decided to stop distributing Maine's "Uncle Henry's Weekly Swap or Sell It" guide because they allow the sale of guns
source: pressherald.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(KFOR)
 
 
 
Supporter of Washington state's effort to repeal domestic partnership law "drove two hours in traffic to turn in about a dozen signatures". My God, this is serious business
source: kfor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Phase 1: Eliminate summer school and shop class. Phase 2: Introduce "pay-to-play" for sports, each family pays $50 per kid per sport. Phase 3: Profit
source: redbluffdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
High school chemistry teacher sued for using hazardous chemicals in the classroom without justification, like, you know, teaching chemistry
source: redding.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cruise ship allows tourists to do a little whale watching by impaling one on its bow
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this eclipse event expert
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Hamilton Spectator)
 
 
 
Michael Knight(s), a young loner on a crusade to champion the cause of the innocent, the helpless, the apartment-door-less, in a world of landlords who operate above the law
source: thespec.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Last British veteran of WW1 trenches dies. Goodnight machine-gunny-man
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 


Sat July 25, 2009
(Mediabistro)
 
 
 
Katie Couric slams NY Times reporter who made not one, not two, but seven mistakes in reporting on the death of Walter Cronkite. Of course she's smiling while doing it, since the reporter is Alessandra Stanley and payback is a biatch. Meeoww
source: mediabistro.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: turn a Chuck Norris internet meme into a Betty White internet meme
source: coronene.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Lego house building party you say? With Top Gear's James May you say? Next Saturday in Surrey you say? Sign this subby up
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Would you dress your baby in a shirt that read: "I'm living proof my mum is easy" or "The condom broke"? Surprisingly some people have a problem with this
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(CBS4.com)
 
 
 
Nude sculpture at Florida mall angers parents including one mother who says of her 6 year old: "He's gonna have questions." What questions? "Mommy, where's mine?"
source: cbs4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Long battle over historic rock turns out to be about wrong, non-historic rock but that doesn't mean there won't be prison involved
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Dozens of dedicated players have descended on the Hill over the past few days to argue for the federal regulation of online poker. You bet your luck on this
source: blog.newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Nanny state bans school ties because children could be 'accidentally strangled' during the lunch break
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
Ugly-assed baby giraffe born at Franklin Zoo in Boston. Baby is 6'4" and weighs 164 lbs. w/pic
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Brooklyn man turned $150k profit per kidney purchased from Israel and sold in the United States. Guess he figured out step 2
source: newsfromrussia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today on "I wonder what this button does?"
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Spitting: "It's a disgusting habit, and one that we are becoming more casual and lax about as a society. It's creeping in. We are ignoring it more, and therefore it is becoming more acceptable"
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Info on San Diego's absurd 'scare the seals away by playing dog barks on a boombox' plan was on a 'need-to-freaking-know basis' according to mayoral aide e-mail (obtained by newspaper he used to work at)
source: www3.signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Army colonel marks his retirement by opening a tin of C-Ration pound cake he got in Vietnam in 1973. His verdict? "Tastes just like it always did,"
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
If the court clerk you've been flirting with files a complaint against you, obviously the proper response is to urinate on her chair repeatedly after hours
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(WLFI)
 
 
 
Cash for Clunkers started yesterday, but it may be over in 3 weeks
source: wlfi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Man claims to be allergic to wi-fi
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this face-like façade
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
Raleigh city councilman wants to make it illegal to park on your lawn. Why does he hate America?
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Rambo dog has been evading capture in fields outside Toledo for 10 months. "It is very much a survivalist"
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny state wants entire country to avoid Spanish beaches because of two-inch wound from SHARK BITE
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Power company wants to start charging you a fee for NOT using their electricity, if you have solar panels
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Happy 19th anniversary to the Americans With Disabilities Act
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Teenage thieves are stealing adult tricycles. It's the perfect crime because no adult will admit to owning one
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
A Tale of Two Koreas: When the North launches a rocket, it's a missile and gets the world all hot-n-bothered. When the South does the same thing, it's a "space rocket". Wink, wink, nudge, nudge
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Rotten Tomatoes)
 
 
 
Comic-Con is going on with all of its cosplay glory. Several "would hit" pics included
source: rottentomatoes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(339)
 
(Some State Assembly)
 
 
 
Caption this sleepy senator
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
That idiot who just cut you off in traffic? Yeah, well, he may have just made your commute easier. Here comes the science
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
New polls reveal Britons overwhelmingly support changing the law to allow people the right to die. Those of you who've ever lived here will understand completely
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
German porn star furious after her name is placed on the ballot without her consent, as politics would ruin her reputation
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: The Distant Future - Dystopian Version
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: The Distant Future - Utopian Version
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
O.J. Simpson wants items seized in Vegas returned. List includes footballs, ties, photos and a knife. Check that, no knife
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Lohud.com)
 
 
 
Fark-ready lead line of the day: "It wasn't so much that 74-year-old Leon Schiavi was wearing a miniskirt..."
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey: we have toxic waste, factories that smell, and we never did find Jimmy Hoffa buried under Giants stadium. But we also have big hearts when it comes to helping kittens on Caturday
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(460)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
When men begin drinking and arguing in the morning you just know it will end with a butt stabbing
source: whiotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bush considered invading that notorious belligerent nation state: The Islamic Republic of Buffalo, NY
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(255)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
When breaking up with your girlfriend try not to let her near your nipple ring
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's lesson: Don't smoke in your car when you've got a full propane tank for a passenger
source: spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British council, having apparently never seen a horror movie, to use ancient catacombs to store bodies of swine flu victims
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Marriage has gone from "till death do us part" to a "three to five-year agreement plus options"
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
If you could have a one hour interview with anyone, living or dead, who had to tell the truth, who would it be?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(566)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The headline that does not mean what you think it means
source: myfoxphoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Battery causes fire at police station, leaving cops wondering what to charge
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Man travels to Cuba, hoping to be arrested for violating the travel ban so he can challenge it. Government calls his bluff by not caring
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Caption Jude Law striking this photographer
source: img.thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 


Fri July 24, 2009
(LA Times)
 
 
 
17 more protestors die in Iranian plane crash. Man, they have some awful luck
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
The usual method is to just take the cash but, if you insist upon stealing the entire cash register, escaping on foot probably isn't your best option
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Police arrest naked guy accused of stealing liquor from yacht
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Saudi girl wins beauty pageant without ever showing her face. "The winners represent the culture of the society and its high Islamic morals"
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(252)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today's ground breaking investigative journalism form CNN: "Do Women Watch Dirty Movies?" It's not news, It's...oh never farking mind
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(256)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Food fight. New hotness: Principal pile
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
This week's Smoking Gun mugshot lineup: Florida tag surrenders
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(261)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tour of a tip
source: perhapanauts.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Rocks Off)
 
 
 
Ten sexy, smooth, chick-approved songs that are guaranteed to get you laid
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(436)
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Obama flip flops on police stupidity
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(787)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Harvard professor now threatening to sue the Cambridge police, citing witnesses who have had similar experiences with the arresting officer
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(764)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
When spanking is banned in high schools, there's always toe popping to fall back on
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
8 cartoon characters that probably have syphilis (NSFWish ads)
source: holytaco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
China eases "one child" policy on news the place is becoming a real sausage-fest
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(Experience Project)
 
 
 
10 things even bacon can't make better
source: experienceproject.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(249)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Apparently "threatening the rape of all family members, including their pet animals" is now a crime
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Swedish lesbians suck sperm banks dry
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Good news: You're probably a federal criminal
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(339)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"Think about all the things you can stick this tasty, extraordinarily large sausage in."
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(CBS3.com)
 
 
 
77-year-old gets sex change. Procedures include cankle installation, wrinkle movement and... well, actually that's about it
source: cbs3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Being pregnant with the president: Meat shields, no urinating on intestines, and Minnie Mouse with a 9mm -- inside 16 weeks of Secret Service training
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
TGS's Friday Photo Fun. What female rock star demands Grey Goose and Bordeaux? Contest ends at 4pm Eastern Good luck
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this iridescent iris
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania's budget has not been passed. Tens of thousands of state employees are not getting paid. Government agencies are being asked to pinch every penny. But hey, Philadelphia just deployed 500 solar-powered trash cans
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Cambridge cop says Gates "pushed it", Pushed it real good
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1209)
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
Teen billed $23 quadrillion for a train ticket. Good thing she didn't get a pack of smokes too
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
The Department of Energy, responsible for giving the United States handy tips on conserving energy, fails an energy audit. Again
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these aviation fuel storage tanks
source: blog.silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Egad)
 
 
 
Not news: Mayor gives speech to students. News: Wears bathing suit top, miniskirt and heels. Fark: Mayor is male
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man sues Denny's because he's shocked to learn that a meal with two eggs with chopped bacon, diced ham, crumbled sausage, Cheddar cheese, plus two bacon strips, two sausage links, hash browns, and two pancakes has 5,690 mg sodium
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(325)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
93-year-old man marries his third grade sweetheart after 85 years apart
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Seven true stories that prove airlines hate you, in case there was any doubt
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(277)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Zeus takes a very dim view of outdoor sex
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(370)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Drunk, vomiting, without a driver's license, and parking on the state troopers' lawn is no way to go through life, son
source: wzzm13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Cops seize $1.2 BILLION in pot. Little Debbie and Dorito sales plummet. Spicoli inconsolable
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(267)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Needless to say, events can come in clusters and we have to be careful about Fortean insights or synchro-conspiracy theories based on accidents." That's just what they want you to think
source: copycateffect.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bad: Sushi from a BP gas station. Worse: There's an onsite Sushi chef. Worser: They sell 300 boxes of sushi a day. Worsestershire: Featured on Gourmet Magazine
source: blogs.commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Man who withdrew his $190k from his bank in protest for not getting a loan, deposits the money with his credit union, credit union then deposits the money in the original bank as that is who they bank with. The money go round continues
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Washington town with 80 year-round residents reachable only by boat, float plane or a several-day hike through the wilderness to finally get phone service, haven't heard about Wierd Al's parents yet
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Question of the Day: should driving too slow be a traffic violation? Of course it should. Now GET OUT OF MY WAY YOU FARKING MORAN
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(287)
 


Thu July 23, 2009
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Toupee salesman goes all Myth Busters on South Carolina roller coaster
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A third of men still live at Hotel Mom's Basement
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently a one eyed Yeti has been on the FBI's 10 Most Wanted list for 15 years
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Ramona Sentinel)
 
 
 
A happy 100th to the last living World War II Medal of Honor winner, Lt. John William Finn - who took enough shrapnel at Pearl Harbor to build himself a spare giant clanking testicle to match his other two
source: ramonasentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
George W. Bush fails to kill Bin Laden for seven years. Barack Obama kills Bin Laden in first seven months
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(432)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
1985 Ebony Magazine prediction of what Michael Jackson would look like in the year 2000. Billy Dee Williams stands up in protest and kills a Colt 45
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Police commandeer man's boat during his madien voyage in order to capture a vaccum cleaner thief. w/ "Things got weird" quote goodness
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Some Nut)
 
 
 
Obama is a Freemason and was heavily influenced by Gus Grissom, who was a martyr. Or something
source: secretsun.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
John Barry, inventor of WD-40, dies. Rust in Peace
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(MosNews.com)
 
 
 
"Coolant Glutton" who claims to have supernatural powers such as the ability to drink acetone dies from blood poisoning. His only real superpower appeared to be stupidity
source: mosnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this proton debuncher
source: bartoszekeng.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
America: "Okay, we've launched the test-missle. Shoot it down." Israel: "You know, on second thought..."
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Swine flu vaccines with be available in the US in October, just in time to implement Obama's mind control plan
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Sanford Salvage fined $160,000. You big dummy
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
The government warns department not to have meetings in 'fun cities'
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"We're sorry our ancestors decapitated your great-great grandfather 171 years ago. You can have his head back now."
source: heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Naked and riding a bicycle is no way to go through life, alleged statutory rapist. With great police evidence photo (NSFW: man ass)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Opinions of the United States are now about as positive as they were at the beginning of the decade before George W. Bush took office." Opinions of Matchbox 20 a decade later still at all time low
source: pewglobal.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(367)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Police catch McDonald's robbers. Despite the right to remain silent, one kept muttering *robble robble robble*
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Newspaper columnist pretends his column is a blog. WTFilarity ensues
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Water Fearer)
 
 
 
If "Jaws" had been set in the South, they'd have used an ocean-going gator. Like this one
source: wect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(The Mind Unleashed)
 
 
 
"10 Myths about the Subprime Crisis." List strangely omits "the bailouts are working" and "we've learned our lesson"
source: businessinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
It turns out that rescuing someone from a kidnapping is roughly equivalent to making monthly collision insurance payments
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
California ditches all silly distractions and gets down to brass tacks in their budget debate: It's time to whine about how scary that knife was in the Governator's Twitter video. In related news, Fark needs a Pussification tag
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
What does it say about the United States that Michael Jackson is a household name but Neil Armstrong isn't? This author isn't exactly sure, but it's probably the fault of Godless liberal Hollyweird communists who hate America
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(310)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Obama personally waged a gallant 17-year-long war against the Cambridge Police Department's oppression, before finally being forced to bend his knee to their tyranny
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(331)
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
2010 Transformers Special Edition Camaro unveiled. For only $995, you get Transformer badges, Transformer racing stripes, and a bilingual co-star
source: tech.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Dow Jones over 9,000 for the first time since the start of the year. This is bad news... for Obama
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(227)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Hospital says they dumped a brain-damaged illegal alien back in Guatemala because "he wanted to go home". The fact that he had no insurance and had already racked up a $1.5 million hospital bill was pure coincidence
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(315)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Man delivers pizzas to top of Chicago skyscraper, attempting to set record for highest pizza delivery; Guinness rejects record, saying pizzas have been delivered high since at least the 1970s
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Some Bedroom)
 
 
 
Photoshop these diminutive dinosaurs
source: my-expressions.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
East Indian women take a break from providing Western tech support to plow fields naked. This is to embarrass the weather gods into providing rain. Seriously
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
The Baltimore Sun, known for hard hitting journalism, presents the hairstyles of Michelle Obama (slideshow uselessness)
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Ireland may be unable to crown their new goat King this year after encountering trouble getting him to the ceremony. If only there were a handy phrase to describe how annoyed this makes them
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Mexico's cutthroat drug lords sport such fearsome nicknames as Barbie, Bunny Commander and Smurf
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
"Waiter, what's this condom doing in my soup?" "I think it's the backstroke"
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Daily Sparks Tribune)
 
 
 
"Sometimes, you just gotta say: 'OK, I still have nine live, two-headed animals,' and move on."
source: charlotteobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
If you're living off state benefits because you're confined to a wheelchair, it's just common sense not to be photographed dancing with a giant rabbit
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
German language annexes 5,000 new words, mostly from English
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Two men with a cherry-picker go around New York City stealing ticket cameras
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Massachussetts cop, who acted stupidly and arrested a renowned black scholar without knowing all the facts, is "disappointed" by Obama's comment that the police acted stupidly without knowing all the facts
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1560)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
30 politicians and rabbis rounded up in massive federal corruption sweep, including a mayor who took office three weeks ago - in other words, just another Thursday in New Jersey, most of them are Democrats, nothing to see here, move along
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(300)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
I like my coffee like I like my racist politicians. Covered in beer
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Gallery invites visitors to deface sacred text. The muslim world shocked, plans demonst . . . wait, it was a bible? Nevermind
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(299)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
French Foreign Legion accidentally starts bush fire that requires 170 firefighters, helicopters, and aircraft to extinguish. France surrenders
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Research shows adults forget three things a day, such as where they put their house keys, charging their mobile phones, and something else
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
What do you get for burying your company in a $14 billion mountain of debt, making it a takeover target? 74 MILLION dollars
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If you can think of a better picture to illustrate a story about women experimenting with chocolate, let's see it
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Church of England announces that they will now baptize bastards. Given that they've been ordaining them for years, this isn't a particularly huge step
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Real Business)
 
 
 
In the wake of Dave Carroll's country-western Youtube hit, United Airlines sees stock price plunge ten per cent, dog die, car break down, woman leave
source: realbusiness.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Common Bangkok airport scam: falsely accuse foreigners in duty-free store of shoplifting, then have the airport police extort money from them to avoid arrest
source: travelmole.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Beer-swilling Mormon Chihuahuans under attack by drug gangs in Mexico. You read that correctly
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Leaving a label on the box of stuff you've donated to the charity shop is normally a good thing, but not when that label reads "Front Toward Enemy"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
A.P. fact-checks Obama's press conference. Prez gets bonus points for proving his own assertions false in same press conference, multiple times
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(524)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rural recording
source: i280.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Girl-on-girl parties can ban men because they might "pester" women for sex. Obvious tag is in its bunk
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Pyongyang say Hillary looks like a primary school girl, Bill says giggity
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Taller men earn more than shorter colleagues. Begun, the height wars have
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(227)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Wow, the zoom on this camera is great... that bison looks like it's right in front of..." *GORE*
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(KPLR)
 
 
 
Man marries a porn star and his employer congratulates him. Just kidding, they fired him
source: kplr11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Not news: Bank declines man's application for an $80,000 mortgage. News: Man responds by withdrawing his $190,000 in savings... in cash. Fark: Man demands it in $20 bills, gets all 9,500 of them
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(ADA)
 
 
 
The American Decency Association helpfully provides a sample letter for you to express your outrage over a proposed Key West nude beach. Whatever you do, don't change the text to reflect your own thoughts
source: americandecency.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(UPI)
 
Weeners
 
PETA protests "National Hot Dog Day," the only way they know how. Kinda-Not safe for work slideshow, and please don't let the tag discourage you
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(202)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Seattle woman and her live-in boyfriends in national spotlight. With "yeah, I'd hit it" video
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(319)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 220: "Industrial Arts" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 


Wed July 22, 2009
(Vanity Fair)
 
 
 
Harvard is going broke. 373 years of college down the drain
source: vanityfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Bear breaks into the office of a community TV station, eats everything in the fridge, overturns a trash can, knocks over a filing cabinet, and poops and pees all over the place before leaving. MTV considers giving him his own show
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Once again scientists determine that suckling on a mother's breast is normal, healthy, relaxing, and fun. Plus there's some kind of benefit for infants as well
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(230)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
♫ When I find my mouth in times of trouble, Rosa's chair for gums and teeth. Screeching drills on wisdoms...dentistry ♫
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Michael Jackson's doctor's clinic raided for signs of manslaughter. Next up: Neverland, for signs of children's laughter
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
$70,000 worth of horse piss stolen in Tampa
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
British bomb disposal expert writes about his craft, fails to mention the proper procedure to follow if you step on a mine
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
If your daycare center has to call firefighters to remove the tambourine you got stuck around your neck, you may have a short bus in your future
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Goldman 'warrants' raves from Congress," Ted Kennedy seen getting the glow sticks, McConnell's bringing the E
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Les Lye, who played every adult on "You Can't Do That on Television" passes away at age 84. Was there a better children's character actor? I don't know. *SPLAT*
source: ottawa.ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(419)
 
(MIT Technology Review)
 
 
 
Scientists copy your girlfriend's ability to cut into your brain with high pitched sound
source: technologyreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Nearly two-thirds of airline passengers would be willing to stand during a one-hour flight if the flight were free, according to a Ryanair survey. Wait until they find out about the $100 in-flight cabin pressurization fee
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(PhysOrg.com)
 
 
 
German recipient of first double-arm transplant scratched his head and back, still can't rub his tummy and pat his head at the same time
source: physorg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Phrases you don't normally see in the course of a murder investigation: "portable urinals", "nude women with artificial limbs", and "Batman collectibles"
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
UFIA gets you free tickets to a Tampa Bay Rays game. Gives new meaning to the 7th inning stretch
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Buddy)
 
 
 
For the third year in a row, TFer Squarebobspongepants is taking a 150 mile bike ride for his own cause - MS. Come in and lend some kind words and if you can, help him acheive his goal. CLICK THE LINK
source: main.nationalmssociety.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(227)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're the dictator-in-training from a Central American country and want to steal $2 million from the country's central bank, make sure the security cameras are off. Oh, and don't get ousted in a coup either
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Goldman repays TARP bailout, gives taxpayers 23% rate of return on their money
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(285)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Honey, where are the kids?" "Oh, they're in the living room playing with a lighter, a can of hair spray and a bottle of rubbing alcohol." "Okay -- long as you're keeping an eye on them"
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this antarctic airfield
source: englishrussia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(IdahoNews)
 
 
 
Cop does his best to give police a good name by threatening to stick a Taser gun up a suspect's butt
source: 2news.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(The Daily Show)
 
 
 
The Fart Wars have begun
source: thedailyshow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Man shows up at hospital explaining that he shoved a hammer head up his butt to try and cure his constipation. Then it gets weird (with X-rays)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(212)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Massive earthquake earlier this month was strong enough to move Australia and Australia Jr. closer together
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(The Roanoke Times)
 
 
 
Missing records on Virginia Tech shooting found in former counseling center director's home; says director, "Um, sorry about that, guys"
source: roanoke.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(QC Online)
 
 
 
Blimp, pizza-delivery car, Utah resident, and a drive-in theater. It starts off so promising but only ends up with a lost dog returning home
source: qconline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Proper punctuation is the difference between helping your uncle Jack off a horse and being forced to blow up several million dollars worth of space probe
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Lincoln Journal Star)
 
 
 
Not News: Two men rob convenience stores. Fark: for Keystone Light. Police on the lookout for 18-20yo college students
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
How phony statistics about cocaine prices hide the truth about the war on drugs
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Kaplan and Phoenix not among colleges that produce the best-paid graduates
source: finance.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Mexican immigrants at lowest levels in 10 years, presumably due to improvements in tire and hydraulics technology
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(189)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Man complains he was "bitten and fondled" by female McDonald's workers in what police term case of "aggressive flirting"
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Some Naked Guy)
 
 
 
Today's naked intruder tased broght to you by Manassas. At least he lived up to the town name
source: www2.insidenova.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Black, white protesters clash at Texas rally amid screams of "Black Power" and "White Power". Duck, rabbit season rally scheduled for tomorrow
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(353)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Recession Tips 101: 43 Things not to say during a job interview, including "I'm not wanted in this state.", "How many young women work here?", and "What is your company's policy on Monday absences?"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Thomas Friedman: Our troops are stupid. Seriously
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(304)
 
(Rochester D&C)
 
 
 
EBaum wants steak?
source: democratandchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Students in Baltimore City Public Schools are actually learning something. This is news because it never happened before
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Turns out everything you have secretly feared about Chinese restaurants is true
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(abclocal.go.com)
 
 
 
Facing off against NYC Mayor Bloomberg in the upcoming election will be... the Naked Cowboy?
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Study finds the hot water in hot water bottles can be hot
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Arlington man called for jury duty four years after his death
source: pnwlocalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Police arrest 65-year-old hooker in Mexican midget wrestler murder case. Now they are looking for "The Fat One"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
For those of you who like to smell like sewage treatment plants, beer cans with cigarettes in them, and smoldering garbage, you'll be glad to know that Amy Winehouse has a perfume line in the works
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Cost of Michael Jackson tribute being scrutinzed. $48,000 for sandwiches to feed the cops doesn't seem so bad for Los Angeles
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Answers.com)
 
 
 
"I'll take 69 for 200, Trebek." "No, Mr. Connery, you fool. The category is 'My Birthday'" "You sure, Trebek? Because your mom and I were doing 69 last night"
source: answers.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Meet Virginia Governor Tim "Rovin'" Kaine (D), the man who makes Sarah Palin's quitting speech look prescient
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
Gidget the Taco Bell Chihuahua has died at the age of 16. "Sad"? "Cool"? Eh, let's split the difference and go with the under-appreciated "Misc"
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(ynetnews.com)
 
 
 
Iranian VP: "When I said Iran was Israel's friend it was a joke, psychological warfare, like when I tell my wife I love her...crap"
source: ynetnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
South Korean Parliment erupts into a good old fashioned brawl. What I wouldn't pay to see Henry Waxman and Barney Frank get into a slap fight just once. Sigh, the US Congress is just no fun
source: vetocorleone.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Dead shark left in Miami street as an example of what happens to sharks that attack beach-goers. "I thought it was a body because of all the shootings that have been going on."
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
Man sprays glue in females' hair. At least he says it was glue
source: redorbit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(KSDK St. Louis)
 
 
 
News team shocked to find parking tickets on their illegally parked News vans after story on illegally parked police vehicles in front of police HQ
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Peg legged, epileptic, Alice Cooper fan will be spared jail time for assault due to bad health, taste in music
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Badger whisperer" is accepted into the badger community, spends time talking about mushrooms, snakes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
Sea-converted Maserati seized in Italy. Roger Moore wanted for questioning
source: redorbit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
NASA says we will get to Mars (as soon as construction of the sound studio is finished)
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Millions view solar eclipse, nothing ever again
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
"One man in his thirties...has been to almost every protest so far, a bag of metal bearings in his pocket and a slingshot under his belt he uses to target the Basij. "Yes, I'm risking my life."
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Window dresser decides to create a display of bloody, well-dressed mannequins to illustrate the idea they are "dressed to kill." Customers and store management freak out [photo goodness]
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Let's not forget the "Blingsters" when we think about the victims of the recession
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Erin Andrews is OUTRAGED that stills of her nude peephole video were published on Page 1 of the New York Post, reports the New York Post. OUTRAGED
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(296)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Woman makes the mistake of buying a computer at Best Buy and believing the commercials that claim they have a "knowledgable staff." Her letter to the company's CEO is priceless
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(319)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Swine flu has adapted. Resistance is futile. Why are you breaking your little ships?
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
No, you cannot dodge your $80,000 property tax bill by claiming that your $3 million mansion is really a Church of Spiritual Humanism. Better luck next time
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Within three months of Neil Armstrong's landing on the moon, NASA laid off their top engineers. Here's why
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
What's happening to this country where a man coming home from a hard day's work, and having his dinner and TV time interrupted, can't tell telemarketers that he'll burn down their offices and kill them all and their families?
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(214)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Organising a fete but can't get enough decorations? No problem, just use the Vicar's underpants
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Santa Claus World Congress opens with some hot elf-on-elf action
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
In an apparent misunderstanding, knife deaths are up during Tackling Knives Action Programme
source: newsvote.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Drunk driver crashes into cop car. For his next trick, he's going to cover himself in cocaine and break into Gary Busey's house
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this seashell on the seashore
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Supermarket near Berlin collapses 20 minutes after closing time. Millions of Americans scratch their heads and ask "supermarkets close?"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
All of them had drugs to sell, like the mother... the youngest one with pills
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman's body found in machine at McDonald's food processing plant. Corporate officials ask for a moment of soylents
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Athiests are flocking to "de-baptism" ceremonies. After you get wet, you're dried off with the "hairdryer of reason" and you receive a "de-sacrament" of crackers and peanut butter
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1458)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Theft ends in torn genitals"
source: themercury.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
A man walks onto a train carrying a shark. Fark: It's still alive
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
The man who created the road-side "Barrel Monster" gets sentenced to 50 hours of community service. Hopes to do it volunteering on a road-side cleanup crew
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
No, giraffe, you can't drink my coffee. Not yours (w/ strangest pics you'll see all day)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fortunately, if you tell the cop you're sleeping it off because you're too drunk to drive and he orders you to drive anyway, the state appeals court will throw out your drunk driving conviction
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
37,000 Lutherans converge on New Orleans, apparently hell-bent on testing their faith
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
I can haz babby Asian Bearcat?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Acupuncture helps women conceive. Wouldn't be the first time that conception involved a little prick
source: keloland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop what you see here
source: ljplus.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(KDKA.com - CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Consumer reporter shocked to find expired and unsafe items on dollar store shelves
source: kdka.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(WJZ.com)
 
 
 
Two Baltimore mothers shocked to learn that their thieving children were handcuffed and locked in a juvenile cell for stealing
source: wjz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
DA drops charges against ex-con shot by his former prison psychiatrist turned lover, who invited him to move in after taking out a restraining order against him. Florida is thattaway, people
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Fox 8 Cleveland)
 
 
 
Cruise ship full of deaf Catholics runs into a breakwall off Cleveland. There's the setup, submit your punchline to the right (voting enabled)
source: fox8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Doctors and lawyers find they save money by admitting mistakes and offering compensation up front
source: mddailyrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Churches stop offering communion wine to halt spread of swine flu in latest proof that atheists will live longer than Christians, burn in hell after
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British pubs closing at the rate of 52 per week. That's a year's worth of weeks every week, which is a lot
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Reporter discovers why DC was just named the most dangerous city to drive in, catches bus driver reading in traffic
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 


Tue July 21, 2009
(Sky News)
 
 
 
Media finally tackles issue that matters, pointing out it's cheaper to pack a lunch than buy one
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hero. Hero. Hero. Hero. Hero. Hero. Hero
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(353)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Forty six year old teacher. 13 year old boy. Nef said. (with sad hittable pic)
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Australian army plans to cut and run from Afghanistan in "three to four years", leaving no more trace of their being there than a billbong and a blood-soaked shirt that is stained with whiskey
source: gulf-times.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Some Amazing Pictures)
 
 
 
The 17 most alien landscapes on the planet. Cool tag would pack a bag and jump on a plane in a second to see some of these if it wasn't chained to its farking job
source: matadortrips.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this keg of beer. Wonderful, precious beer
source: cdn.okcimg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(ZUG.com)
 
 
 
Man gets Verizon CEO's unlisted address, then visits his house to complain about Verizon's lack of security
source: zug.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Mark Sanford again brings up the subject of his affair--to tell everyone to stop talking about it and move forward
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
California court rules that state can now ban nude sunbathing at all California state beaches; nudist group says its members will be a-peelin'
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
University of Illinois/Chicago gets $3M grant to study lesbian drinking habits
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sarah Palin implicated in Alaska ethics probe. This could make her "I resigned because that's what good point guards do" story look a little weak in hindsight
source: fe17.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(789)
 
(WSB-TV)
 
 
 
We interrupt your normal Fark programming of weird news so that you can have a new puppy. Offer not valid if your last name is Vick
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(254)
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Mike Castle holds a Town Hall and his constituents ask him fair but hard questions about the economy. Just kidding, they scream about Obama being a citizen of Kenya and then force everyone to pledge allegiance to the flag
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(746)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Need some rain? Take two frogs and wed them. Unfortunately nobody knows what breed of frogs, but surely up-to-date India will spot the right ones
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Quebec hit by 4.1-magnitude earthquake. TOUT LE MONDE PANIQUE
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Senate votes to kill the F-22. What did the Raptor ever do to them, besides being twice as expensive as and less versatile than the F-35?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(591)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
English entry for Miss World chosen. Second place goes to Lance Corporal Barbie, who in her spare time likes to disarm Iraqi insurgents with her bare hands. Judges seen driving away at high speed
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Gawker says that Sarah Palin's twitter ramblings are the best trainwreck the internet has ever produced
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(347)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Somalia tops the list of "Failed States." Mississippi, West Virginia, New Jersey breathe sighs of relief
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
If you are throwing children to make your point, perhaps the neighbors are not quite the busybodies that they seem
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
If the moon landing happened today, this is how the mainstream media would cover it
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Defense attorney: Law against reckless operation of trains is 135 years old, too old to enforce. Prosecutor: Law against murder is 225 years old and we enforce it all the time
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
German court throws out lawsuit filed by woman who demanded cleaners come up with a final solution for country's spiders
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Nanny state ponders difficult question of "should cops carry guns?"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(251)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Swine flu investigators took off their face masks while taking nasal and blood samples from infected pigs. Guess what happened next
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Finalists for 'Seven Wonders Of Nature' named. Bea Arthur inexplicably not on shortlist
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Thinking about buying the new Camaro? You may want to take this 68-point checklist of known issues with you
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
California's public retirement system will report a 23 percent loss for the recent fiscal year, a decline of $55 billion in assets, more than the GDP of 111 countries
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How do you know you have relatives from Alabama? When the newspaper headline reads "Guns seized, two arrested after family reunion", that's how
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Congress has to pass health care now, for good reason: "The longer Obama's health-care program marinates in the sun, the worse it smells"
source: article.nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(519)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Biden indicates US support for Ukraine's bid to join NATO, stick thumb in Putin's eye. Still no for confirmation from administration official with actual authority
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Why wouldn't you have a stun gun in a Lutheran shelter for kids?
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's National Art Hate Week. Visit a local gallery, find some art that is stupid, and loudly discuss how a 3 year old could have painted that
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Happy Birthday, Happy Meal - making kids fat for 30 years
source: parentdish.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Following the lead of other airlines, Delta adds a $5 convenience fee for the privilege of paying fees in person. What's next? Paying $5 a month to look at ads?
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Some Amusement Park Denizen)
 
 
 
Photoshop these thrill-seekers
source: valleyfair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Albany Times Union)
 
 
 
Step 1, build man cave in parking garage. Step 2, claim overtime while smoking pot all day. Step 3, profit. Math so easy Siragusa can understand it
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Panama City News Herald)
 
 
 
10 days contempt of court for the hearing impaired man who asked a question. From a judge whose son was let go without any penalties for leaving the scene of an accident while drunk 5 months ago. With video
source: newsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Bad: driving into school zone while intoxicated. Worse: driving into school while intoxicated
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Someone didn't have his coffee: Cop pulls his weapon at a McDonald's to speed up his breakfast order
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Someone on Craigslist)
 
 
 
A slut nixes sex in Tulsa
source: pryordailytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
UN reports a $4.8 billion shortfall in aid to poor countries, will convene a lunch meeting at Per Se to discuss it
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
 
 
 
County: "We need to raise taxes." Residents: "Wharrgarbl" County: "Then we need to fire some cops and close some libraries." Residents: "Wharrgarbl" County: "Okay, geniuses, what do you suggest?"
source: gwinnettdailypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(314)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me; Shall be my brother and show upon this list to his advantage
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Leave your grandkids in a hot car while you go play the slots? That's a year in the comfort of your own home
source: southflorida.sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Scottish fish factory announces closure. Where is your cod now?
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Cock shoots Hustler in tragic story of gun rampage made unintentionally hilarious by amusing surnames
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You steal a woman's bike, she runs over you with her Jag. It's the Ferndown way
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Rian.Ru)
 
 
 
No matter how much you hope it will, drinking gasoline is not going to transform you into Optimus Prime
source: en.rian.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Britain's Prince Andrew taking lessons from a ballet teacher to improve his golf swing. The Sun's crack team of photoshoppers shows you what that might look like
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
When same-sex marriages are legalized, lesbians run to the altar lickety-split, while gay men prefer just dicking around
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(The Augusta Chronicle)
 
 
 
Baby born at burger joint. That's one small fry to go
source: chronicle.augusta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Not news: Man rides 860-meter roller coaster track in just over a minute. Fark: Without a roller coaster
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
German man arrested for stealing 1,000 pairs of underpants without having a clearly defined phase 2
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
"So, we're all settled then. You murder my parents and I'll let you bite my penis off"
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Robber easily identified by tattoo of Fark's favorite state on his face
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Las Vegas man suing police for his Constitutional right to be Elvis
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Some musician)
 
 
 
Photoshop this piccolo player and his orange friend
source: cdntn.madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Caption these whispering bandits
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Australian Telegraph)
 
 
 
A helpful hint for the Australian police: When investigating someone you believe to be huffing gasoline, the taser is not your friend
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
Slow news day in Arizona: Woman burns her ass on hot penny in car
source: abc15.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Baltimore Brew)
 
 
 
Stealing half a dozen tractor trailers is impressive, but parking them in your front lawn isn't the best of ideas
source: digtriad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
The Maryland Transit Administration is considering installing audio surveillance equipment on its buses and trains to record conversations of passengers and employees
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Interested in buying a refurbished 1940's designer home with 360 degree views, machine gun nests?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Money saving tip #242: skip the expensive funeral and bury your loved ones in your own yard. #243: Have your coffin made ahead of time and use it as an entertainment center
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
By 2040, the Earth will have 1.3 billion lawns for you kids to get off of
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
State of Nebraska's plan to issue new, ultra secure driver's licenses foiled by metalic party balloons striking a power line. IT consulting experts shocked, SHOCKED to learn that State IT guys don't know about surge protectors
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 


Mon July 20, 2009
(9 News)
 
 
 
Colorado is ceasing its "Committed to a Cure" breast cancer license plate because of politics. Still no cure for politicians
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Fark-ready story of the day: Luxury resort AIG execs went to days after accepting bailout foreclosed by Citigroup
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Asylum)
 
 
 
How to write a Fark-worthy headline: Make sure to mention monkeys, lingerie, and petty larceny
source: asylum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Some Bloke)
 
 
 
One more time: If your girlfriend gets her license suspended for a DUI, it's not smart to get good and drunk before you drive her to the police station to pick it up
source: theprovince.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Fosters Daily Democrat)
 
 
 
Fire disrupts cremation at funeral home
source: fosters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Remember, before reporting your child missing and triggering a huge search, be sure to check her bed
source: capecodonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(State News)
 
 
 
Actual leading paragraph of news story: "MSU police are following a flow of information regarding two leads in a series of thefts from feminine-hygiene product dispensers"
source: statenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Scientists discover babies and toddlers have twice the risk of head injuries than children of any other age, presumably because they fall over a lot
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Nationally famous black professor Henry Louis Gates arrested for trying to break into own home. Race Card trumps Apology Card
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(386)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
SNL and Daily Show expected to highlight Bush's latest gaffe claiming his new health care program will create greater inefficiencies and that he will have a new wellness prevention system. Oh wait, it was Obama? Never mind
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(689)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Playing Neil Armstrong in the movies or on TV is as much a career-killer as playing Jesus
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Some non-Powerpoint Ranger)
 
 
 
• Powerpoint is actively hostile to thoughtful decision-making. • It reduces complex ideas to bullet points. • Decision makers are given less time to think. • The Pentagon has made a cult of the PowerPoint presentation
source: armedforcesjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sleeper in the Sequoias. Difficulty: No bears
source: farm3.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Audit finds that director of state abstinence program inappropriately fondled contracts, screwed taxpayers out of thousands of dollars
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Astronauts perform spacewalk on Apollo 11 anniversary, since moonwalk would have been tacky, too soon
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man, who will soon perish in a mysterious deep fryer "accident", deciphers KFC Secret Recipe
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(265)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Montana man next to be featured in ongoing series of news stories entitled: "Worlds Oldest Man Dies"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Like a teenage mother who's pregnant again, Wall Street learned nothing
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
African-American Michael Hunt appears before L.A. City Council in KKK garb to challenge free speech limitations. Fark: Columnist appreciates irony of his name
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(90)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Amendment to expand reciprocity to all states that allow law-abiding citizens to carry a concealed weapon is very scary and should be stopped, because those law-abiding citizens will kill us all
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(437)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Obama pushes Congress to pass health care reform, says 'we can't afford the politics of delay and defeat', apparently hasn't noticed we also can't afford 'pass it quick without even reading it.'
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(489)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Journey's Steve Perry admits that he only wrote about "South Detroit" in "Don't Stop Believing" because he didn't like the sound of "North Detroit," and was unaware that South Detroit is actually Canada
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(333)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
"Can you identify the defendant?" "That man there" "Err, try for best two-out-of-three?"
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(24)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Residents of New Zealand's "Muff Road" are trying to get its name changed because visiting men can never find the right place
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(52)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If you have Hep A please call out sick. 10,000 McDonald's customers will thank you
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(91)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
TODAY WOULD HAVE BILLY MAYS' 51st BIRTHDAY. TRIBUTE VIDEO TO THE LEFT, ALL-CAPS THREAD TO THE RIGHT
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(279)
 
(Hot Air)
 
 
 
The media never pronounces a leftist unelectable because their ideology will turn away independent voters. Conservatives, on the other hand, the media has a problem with
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(410)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Congress is spending about $3 trillion more, adjusted for inflation, in 2009 than it did in 1945, at the end of World War II
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(247)
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Remember that Honduran president who got thrown out of office for trying to change the constitution? Yeah, he was going to rig the referendum to do it. Here comes the black box voting
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(97)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
Man busted for speeding on highway while watching porn. But was it a stick shift?
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(94)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
If you steal $69,000 in gold coins, you probably shouldn't break the safe open while in a crowded parking lot. People might, you know, ask questions, matey
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(47)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Don't want a security system? ADT threatens that thieves will kill your dogs with oven cleaner
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(219)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Note to self: Company-issued credit cards are for travel and subsistence purposes only. Addendum: Especially if they're from the police department. Footnote: Sex toys are not subsistence
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(31)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia cancels the country's only film festival on news that the movies will feature people doing things other than praying and beating women for not covering their ankles
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(82)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Drew sets up Fark's Media Power Rankings, and recognizes some of our favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/12 - 7/18
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(19)
 
(Guardian)