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Sun May 24, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman hit by shriner's car during parade. Taken by tiny ambulance to teeny hospital
source: woodstocksentinelreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Gun goes off half-cocked, leaves man half-cocked
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy w/ Something in His Eye)
 
 
 
Terminally ill bulldog saves owner from fire. Dog was supposed to have been put to sleep May 7th. She earned her steak/ spot in doggy heaven
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
World's coolest mayor comes back from near-fatal heart attack to deliver freestyle rap at music awards show. Wait, what?
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vertex view
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The saga of one man's mission to put an end to the worst form of discrimination this nation has ever seen - mulletism
source: citypages.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Daily Mail brings many fantasies to life with the hawtest Brit mom/daughter duo you'll see today. Safe for work, dammit
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ʎnb ǝɯos)
 
 
 
ʎǝupʎs uı ǝɹıɟ uo ɹǝʍoʇ ʇuıodǝɹʇuǝɔ
source: brisbanetimes.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTRF)
 
 
 
Drunk clown arrested for D.U.I, property damage, leaving the scene of an accident, no proof of insurance, failing to maintain control of a vehicle and carrying a concealed seltzer bottle. w/mugshot containing vid
source: wtrf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
California figures out a great way to close its budget gap: Let tourists beat up seagulls for $275 each
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(mapthefallen.org)
 
 
 
Just in time for Memorial Day, the most sobering interactive map you'll see. Hero tag quietly steps in front of the Sad tag
source: mapthefallen.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
100 college students, 4 weeks of training, a badge and a gun: Welcome to the Ocean City summer police force
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
How Sesame Street changed the world over the last 40 years. Suck it, SpongeBob
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Colleges discover fewer out of state students willing to pay higher tuition in recession. College Presidents already drafting memos explaining reason for this year's outrageous tuition increases
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Even the Godfather is suffering from the recession: Instead of leaving an expensive racehorse's head in bed with someone, he has to settle for a dead chicken and a handful of rotten fish
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fla. Baptist Witness)
 
 
 
Southern Baptist media advisor provides helpful tips for ministers who want to work with news media and not look like foolish raving fundies. Crap, they're on to us
source: floridabaptistwitness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
Two months after killing their dead-tree paper, SeattlePI.com reveals to advertisers exactly what is attracting traffic to their site now. Would you have guessed pet videos, celebrity slideshows, and fashion show pics?
source: slog.thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Kos)
 
 
 
The swine flu is dead. Long live the swine flu
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Paramedics are asking for help in locating a stolen vehicle. A stolen white vehicle with flashing lights. Stolen Emergency Vehicle trifiecta now complete
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The job market is so tough, there's been a surge of tattoo laser removals. "I used to idolize rappers with tattoos. Now I don't want it to hold me back from getting a job."
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
There's a reason why low and no-carb dieters seem stupid
source: health.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this top dog
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Magazine)
 
 
 
A third of women would rather go hungry than miss out on a stylish haircut
source: ok.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
If you manage your credit well get ready to subsidize all those irresponsible credit users
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Man loses over half of his body weight and his virginity. Dude, you're doing it right
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Firefighters are asking for help in locating a stolen vehicle. A stolen red and white vehicle
source: wtnh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spaceflight Now)
 
 
 
DEVELOPING: Shuttle Atlantis diverted to Edwards AFB in California; landing scheduled for 8:39am Pacific time
source: spaceflightnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Pakistan's mystics targeted by Taliban, expected to counter with 1d20 remove magic
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man lives in rented closet for $150 a month, enjoys hanging out at home
source: nbcmiami.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Maineiac)
 
 
 
When working as a waitress, stepping outside for a smoke isn't that bad a thing. If you happen to be a waitress at Maine's topless coffee shop, you may want to throw a shirt on. But hey, no complaints from me
source: morningsentinel.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
If you're looking for the hottest new trend in bacon, you've come to the right place
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders say if you want to make the squad, brains are just as important as beauty. "Can you name one country that borders Iraq?"
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny state forces drinkers to now stand in a single-file line when ordering drinks at a pub. "People aren't going to want to drink if they have to queue up as if they're in the post office"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Live rattlesnake left outside courthouse, unsure if it works for the prosecution or the defense
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS5.com)
 
 
 
Police are asking for help in locating a stolen car. A stolen black and white cruiser
source: cbs5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Detroit city councilwoman pays only $68 in property taxes a year on her very large, very nice house, because city records have shown it as vacant lot for decade. But wants you to know she pays her taxes in full
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these mission men middeck
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Swarm of bees trap people for hours in NYC GameStop. Dozens of Game Informer subscriptions sold
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Roadworkers in English town draw white line down the middle of potholes then only fill the half that's not on private property
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV5)
 
 
 
TV producer doing an undercover story on airlines serving alcohol is served 8 drinks in 20 minutes. "This airline *hic* is OK, next"
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
In the saddest story yet of this recession, man on mission to visit every Starbucks derailed by store closings. "If the store closed before I visited, I would lose another piece of my soul."
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat May 23, 2009
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Woman called "swamp monster" loses 130 pounds, affections of Berni Wrightson
source: today.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Researcher whose work led to the development of Viagra has passed away. Funeral home struggles with pesky coffin lid
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Liverpool Echo)
 
 
 
Machete fight breaks out between rival gangs of karaoke singers. Local hospital treating injured confirms "They will survive, they will survive, hey hey"
source: liverpoolecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Man tries to turn half brother into half a brother
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Honolulu's Internet vote is first in nation, says mayor-elect Rick Astley
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Bureau of Prisons doesn't see a problem with giving convicted criminals a Greyhound ticket and sending them -- unescorted and alone -- to another prison, because only 180 of them have escaped over the past two years
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Alaska charges 70-year old for feeding bears at his remote cabin, creating a hazard to humans
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Fugitive millionaire now gloating on Facebook
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Theme: Metaphor
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"Is a liberal arts degree worth the cost?" Would you like fries with that?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
R.I.P. PatHighgate. #fark will miss you
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Hot dog sales are up, Oscar Mayer and Ball Park Franks battle for who is top dog. Sabrett, Hebrew National, and Vienna Beef all on sidelines waiting for their moment in the bun
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Drunkard)
 
 
 
Just imagine a resort entirely centered on the culture of alcohol. A boozer's paradise built expressly to facilitate drinking and the good times that naturally follow
source: drunkard.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How fun - they're blowing up a 522-foot ship and sinking it just for the helluva it
source: keysnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Royal Horticultural Society wants people to grow vegetables in their used bras, boxers, and jockey shorts. Submitter does that without even taking them off
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
San Diego is upset that seals are hanging out at one of their beaches. Solution: Play a tape of barking dogs from 6am to dark every day
source: www3.signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Bus loads of precious snowflakes. Check. 9:30 appointment with President Obama and a scheduled White House tour. Check. Showing up almost an hour late then whining and crying Obama snubbed you and is not allowing you in? You bectchya
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Man has a very special bond with his pet turtle. "She comes when he calls. She lets him throw her like a Frisbee into her pond in his back yard"
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Jim Beam to release red-cherry flavored bourbon. What could possibly go wrong?
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
The many signs of a failed relationship: your partner won't return your phone calls, refuses to account for their time alone, holds a seven-inch knife to your throat
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman is hypnotized into believing she has had weight-loss surgery. Then she loses 55 pounds
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Scientists identify a new gene in fruit flies called "happyhour" which makes them more sensitive to alcohol, and less likly to become alcoholic fruit flies
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Highway trooper lets woman out of a speeding ticket. Normally no one would have a problem with this
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Federal judge orders South Carolina AG to shut his whore mouth
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Red Bull banned in two German states for sticking a bit too closely to original Coca-Cola formula
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Skinny jeans have the potential to cause you harm and no, we're not talking about the curse that is Muffin Top Disease,
source: collegecandy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Website)
 
 
 
The most beautiful pictures of the inside of eighteen refridgerators you will see all day
source: good.is   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Athiests roll out ad campaign, "In the beginning, man created God"
source: digitaljournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Politicians: Ticket cameras will stop slaughter of pedestrians by drivers making rolling right turns on red. Study: No pedestrians have been killed that way. Politicians: Stop confusing us with facts
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Yet another casualty of the recession: Little Princess Syndrome
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Recession has people cancelling vacation plans, and take up camping. Problem: "Some don't know how to set up a tent, light a fire, anything"
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Pulse)
 
 
 
"Two PETA members, clad in red bikinis and partially immersed in a tank of 'bloody' water, portrayed chickens in their death throes." (w/pics and video)
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: It's more likely than you think
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Just 58.5% of Houston students graduate high school. That's like, not even half
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
♫ Privacy / It's not all that it's cracked up to be / Why is that Google van coming after me? / Oh I believe in privacy ♫
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chinese bridge jumper gets a helpful push after he "selfishly" holds up traffic for too long
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Australian wallaby and baby found running wild in Cornwally, England. (w/pic)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
(Subby checks calendar) Yep, it's time for your annual "hurricane prediction" story, only this year it's an "EVERYBODY RELAX" forecast
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baloney? No, Bologna)
 
 
 
Heartwarming story about students who want to open school in Africa. By selling hash and ketamine
source: lifeinitaly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Massachusetts politicians say they are now willing to "legislate against stupidity"
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Nanny State charges preschool $185 to use a patch of grass for its annual picnic due to fears the festivities could harm the lawn
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Your beautiful 17-year-old daughter comes home after running over a homeless woman and failing to stop. The St. Pete Times asks: To whom is your moral obligation as a parent?
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
"He was found to be wearing a woman's white thong and a black sports bra, and his balaclava had been fashioned from a pair of knickers"
source: news.aol.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Five women arrested during drug bust at retirement community not exactly Golden Girls material. Golden Triangle...or Golden Corral more like it
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ChronicleLive)
 
 
 
Elementary students find and save pregnant cat. Birth goes well, and the kittens will be in perfect health for Caturday
source: chroniclelive.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Caption this peculiar tug of war
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
Weeners
 
Sara Lee's suit is hard on Oscar Mayer's cocky claims of superior sausage
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
ProTip: When trying to bribe a federal agent you should offer them something more substantial than pizza
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(West Sussex Gazette)
 
 
 
Someone steals hood of van. Police suspect hoodlums
source: westsussextoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
Unhappy ending for a massage parlor manager after a client turns down her offer for a happy ending
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Man slashes tires on 50 cars including 9 police cars, blames radiation from Rocky Flats, speeding police cruisers and being forced to wear braces on his teeth
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Disney characters if they never had been cast
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police sketch artists called to task over lack of talent
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Brothel owner claims there was a different reason people yelled Oh God in her shops
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
It never helps your mayoral campaign when the cops ban you from KFC. "Don't touch me. I am running for mayor, and once I get elected you will be fired."
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(EFF)
 
 
 
Activist judge rules that being a college student is still awesome
source: eff.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(kens5.com)
 
 
 
Homeowners Association has problem with man putting up an 18-foot fork outside his business. It's not news, it's...fork
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man walks into street to avoid sidewalk hole, receives 12-month probation and a $227 fine
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Only in Atlanta will you find a prom dress made of Coke can pop tops
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man declares war on next-door neighbor, crashes his car into neighbor's house, crawls out of wreckage armed with a hatchet and tries to kill his neighbor. Guess where
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Even if you're hoping for a quick getaway, don't use the drive-through when trying to rob a bank
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Former South Korean President dies hiking in the mountains. Ruh Roh
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri May 22, 2009
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
The most beautiful pictures of democracy you will see all day
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Photoshop these photographers at the space shuttle launch
source: media.sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Happy Memorial Day from The Gandy Ghetto Yacht Club & Beach Resort. Bring your own jorts
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSN)
 
 
 
Groom leaves own wedding reception to pick up welfare check, bride sets fire to groom's bed, bride sleeps with another man, then man and wife beat the other man to death with an oar and a glass. The Aristocrats
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Pope Palpatine has a Facebook app to send his quotes. Now witness the firepower of this fully armed and operational PopeMobile
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Country Club horror: Non-members drinking beer from bottles at the bar
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Strong quake shakes Mexico City. Ay, Carrumble
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Girls cry rape at cab driver. Cabbie arrested. Cab driver produces video proving his innocence. Police say they can't arrest the girls because there's no evidence either way. Excuse me?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The Friday before Memorial Day can only mean the All American mugshot lineup from TSG
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Son, you got a panty on your head
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MomLogic)
 
 
 
Seattle bar's "Hot for Teacher" night to be hosted by patron saint of female teacher sex, St. Mary Kay LeTourneau. Nice
source: momlogic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Since no other day of the year is Arthur Conan Doyle's Birthday, we must deduce that his birthday is today
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lynchburg News & Advance)
 
 
 
Jerry Falwell's Liberty University bans campus Democratic Party club. Both members of the club outraged
source: newsadvance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
College humor forces Nebraska's Department of Transportation to throw out thousands of online votes for the most boring license plate design
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
'Bohemian Rhapsody' yanked from graduation ceremony after parents complain
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Conservative radio host: "waterboarding isn't torture." Agrees to be waterboarded, lasts six seconds, then says, "Yep, waterboarding is torture"
source: current.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cape Cod Times)
 
 
 
Next time you decide to catch a BB gun pellet with your bare hand, you might want to use an oven mitt
source: capecodonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Dog survives potentially fatal snake bite after owner sucks the venom out of the dog's nose
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Ultimate boredom
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Gas prices miraculously rising over high volume travel weekend. Again
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What roughly $2,000,000,000 worth of aircraft might look like
source: chamorrobible.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
If you're an assistant principal and you tell a student he can avoid dentention if he tries to buy drugs from a suspected campus dealer, you might want to let the cops in on your plot
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Brandfreak.com)
 
 
 
Yes, it's come to this: WD-40 has started its own social network
source: brandfreak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
Police continue fruitless search for damn dirty ape who's trying to steal the Foam Banana Display from Gas stations in Wisconsin
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Emergency response times cut dramatically as police car and ambulance arrive at crash scene instantaneously
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Seven hacks that turn everyday objects into deadly weapons. Featuring the biggest big wheel, chainsaw and smoke ring you've seen this month
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
If you're going to ditch school and then text while driving, try not to crash into the back of a cop car
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man ties string around penis and uses it as a puppet while standing over an apartment building air conditioner. Then it gets weird
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Kicking off today's TSG Friday Photo fun we have a repeat of the contest "guess which band is the criminal's choice". Contest ends @ 4pm Eastern
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
140-lb woman shows 240-lb ex-boxer why the bar they are in is called the Chick-A-Boom room
source: abajournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dear Margo)
 
 
 
"Dear Margo, My daughter went to college and is now an atheist. My husband has threatened to turn her in to the FBI and I want an exorcism." Margo: "WTF is wrong with you people?"
source: wowowow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Record)
 
 
 
Today's "Man arrested with more than 40 guns story" brought to you by Parsippany, NJ. And ladies - he's single
source: dailyrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Judge scratches probation sentence into the cheek of former McCain volunteer Ashley Todd
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Times)
 
 
 
Thousands of Pakistanis flee pending conflict so that they don't get an RPG up the Waziristan
source: dailytimes.com.pk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
US Embassy to host first-ever Gay Pride Party. In Baghdad. What could possibly go wrong?
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
The pink-boxers-and-camo guy has now received official recognition as a badass
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Upstate Today)
 
 
 
Headline: "Woman strips, then assaults husband". Reality: "Woman assaults husband by stripping"
source: upstatetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Math teacher dismayed to discover she can't get 17 into 37 more than twice
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The recession has not slowed sales of designer jeans that cost as much as $300. "They make my butt look perky," said one American with her financial priorities in the right place
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chris Brown to try punching his country music card
source: new.music.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(kval.com)
 
 
 
Cashier to armed robber: "Whatever, dude"
source: kval.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Dad that served his children poisoned soup sentenced to 100 years of tossed salads
source: cbsatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toys R' Us)
 
 
 
Toys "Я" Us now selling pink Ouija boards for girls. "Are you there, Captain Howdy? It's me, Margaret"
source: toysrus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC San Diego)
 
 
 
Want a medical marijuana card? Just head to a reggae concert
source: nbcsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A quarter ton of pot in the sleeper of my truck? It helps me relax, officer
source: joplinglobe.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Voodoo hoo-hah re: ho's hoo-hoos
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Recession proof jobs. 1. Sales rep. 2. Software designer. 3. Hot girl who escorts you around the golf course wearing a little less than the usual argyle vest and khaki pants
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Police find missing 555-lb teenager by looking in any direction
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Ice-cream vendor arrested after exposing his testsicles
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Computer virus strikes U.S. Marshals and FBI networks. Decepticons wanted for questioning
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian Navy stops another pirate attack. Pretty impressive work for two Mounties and Celine Dion, throwing empties from a canoe
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this master-putter
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New Philadelphia Times-Reporter)
 
 
 
Sheriff's Deputy: We're looking for a lost man whose life may be in danger. Can you link us to his cell phone to help us find him? Verizon operator: Okay, I can help you with that...right after you pay his overdue phone bill
source: timesreporter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Small Town Newspaper)
 
 
 
Lawmakers find a way to stick it to hate groups adopting highways...by naming same highways after people they hate
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Things get criminally comic when a young couple tries to steal the pot from a rummy game using the ol' "I-need-to-take-my-dog-for-a-walk" routine
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
'One in ten priests enjoy regular sex'. Hardly a surprise, it's not like they're married
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Vancouver prostitutes training for Olympics, really good at lube and bobshead
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
18-year-old who auctioned off her virginity may have her winnings taxed up to 69% (with kinda-want? pic)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Add marijuana to the list of items you can find in bulk at Costco
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
She's a Girl Scout and a member of the school's basketball team, choir and leadership team. And now suspended from school for getting caught with *GASP* an eyebrow shaver
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man released from prison after 4-year sentence for felony littering. In his own yard
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The car warranty scam has been quelled at the roots. One guess where it originated
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Pardon me good sir, but I couldn't help but notice you are having sexual relations with your lady friend here out in the open. Frankly, I'm quite aroused. Would it trouble either of you if I joined in?"
source: theargus.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for leaving a one year-old in the car while she went inside the gas station to play videogames. Well, she did crack the windows an inc--wait a minute, gas stations still have videogames?
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu May 21, 2009
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Snap on your chinstraps and hold on to your handlebars. The World Beard and Moustache Championships begin tomorrow
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MPBN.com)
 
 
 
Homer painting that was found in a dump, (Doh) is worth $300,000. Woo Hoo
source: mpbn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Japan Today)
 
 
 
US Airman saves over 300 people by looking out the window
source: japantoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Argus)
 
 
 
Air steward says he 'was tired' when he left a bomb threat in a airliner toilet for a passenger to find. Ensuing panic, arrest etc probably woke him up judging by the bonus mugshot awesomeness
source: theargus.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Man tells police he took morphine from a dying cancer patient not to use it, but to bless it. "He ended up squirting it into his mouth."
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Centre Daily Times)
 
 
 
Boy did not use snake as jump rope
source: centredaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bennies)
 
 
 
Carcass of a 25 ton whale washes up on a Delaware beach. New Jersey police checking lists of missing persons for a match
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Could you be having an "emotional affair?" It's not news, it's CNN (which has an emotional affair with stories from Oprah)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Good news: possible cure for cancer. Bad news: it's Down Syndrome
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Seven WTF military weapons you won't believe they actually built
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV)
 
 
 
News station tests Best Buy's Geek Squad by unplugging hard drive and saying something's not working. The result: $640 in repairs, telling them they have a virus and finally "let us help you buy a new computer"
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
There's so much more to Nigeria than scam artists. For starters, there are also penis thieves
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: The Eighth Wonder of the Ancient World
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
SWAT team heroically saves Toronto school from poor communication
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Mexico City ends swine flu alert after no cases reported in a week, Residents urged to retain blue surgical masks for the upcoming smog season
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
More Americans play video games than go to movies. The plot is more developed, better acting, more action, and popcorn costs less than $50
source: content.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Pricipal . Caught sayof student can't do report on Harvey Milk. " See, 'cause he is gay" Is this sex ed or not. School Says yes. ACLU Looking for lawsuit -OR- "hello, not that there's anything wrong with that"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Was it the Christians who voted Kris Allen as American Idol winner just to spite the gay kid? Fox News thinks so. Prejean. PREJEAN
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Cheney: Wharrgarg9/11garrbbbl. Wharrgargthreattosecuritygarrbbbl. Wharrgargsavedlivesgarrbbbl
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Boy With Cancer's Lawyer: Come Home." How he can afford cancer's lawyer, we may never know
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SouthCoastToday)
 
 
 
"I know Chihuahuas can't fly"
source: southcoasttoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Four homegrown would-be jihadis planted fake explosives supplied by authorities, didn't notice orange plug in business end of their "Stinger missile"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Obama administration decides to maintain "don't ask, don't tell", will attempt to keep policy from exploding in public
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Obama flubs defense chief Robert Gates' name during press conference. For the second time. In three days (w/ video)
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
NOAA predicts weather to occur during hurricane season. As for figuring the actual hurricane probabilities, well good luck with that
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Now is the time to legalize (and tax) drugs, prostitution, and gambling
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albany Times Union)
 
 
 
New York won't pay death benefit to state worker's widow because he died too quickly to get all the paperwork done. Fark: Legislature has bottled up a simple fix for six years. "Obvious" tag is for the way things are done in NY
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Missing service dog runs past Denver TV news crews twice in 2 days
source: cbs4denver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MyDesert.com)
 
 
 
Republican Congresswoman joins Facebook group calling for impeachment, or death, of House Speaker Nancy Pelosi. Later offers reasonable explanation -- the message board ninjas did it
source: mydesert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man offers undercover cop a hamburger in exchange for sex. And they say romance is dead
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Italian police seize $10 million in counterfeit mob money, reportedly knew it was fake because the Super Mario brothers were on the front of it
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
I pity the fool that don't wish Mr. T a happy 57th birthday
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Apparently, it is deeply offensive to point out that there are a lot of Irish politicians in Boston. Tip O. Neilstein and the entire Von Kennedi family not availabe for comment
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Townhall)
 
 
 
Why doesn't the left celebrate their right to abortion? How about a 21-vacuum hose (D&C) salute? Maybe have the Notre Dame marching band form a giant skull-piercing fork? Having the president throw out the ceremonial first fetus?
source: townhall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
No, we're not getting back together, and stop texting me. Repeat 259 times
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Driver)
 
 
 
"I called 911 as there was a driver who was smoking crack from a pipe. He was driving using his knees to steer the wheel, while using one hand to hold the pipe and the other to light it from underneath"
source: theglare.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Sir would you step out of the vehicle please? Now blow into this tube. Okay, I'm gonna need to see your pilot's license and registration please"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pakistan's allies promise $224 million to help displaced civilians. Meanwhile, Pakistan spends its own money ramping up production of nuclear warheads. Hey, waitaminute
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Cancer kid Daniel Hauser may be headed to Mexico, because nothing cures cancer like a good bout of swine flu and a Tijuana horse show
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Just when you thought newspapers were irrelevant, the Edmonton Journal's goose-cam proves your wrong
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Soldier deployed to Afghanistan entrusts his checkbook to a woman he met over the Internet. Story ends about how you expect
source: newswatch50.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ledger Enquirer)
 
 
 
Atheist congregation meets every Sunday morning to discuss how they've rejected organized religion
source: ledger-enquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Alarming news School is stressful and depressing. Ric Romero sent for exclusive
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WMCTV)
 
 
 
"The suspect then threw the baby at a good samaritan..."
source: wmcstations.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Four shot, one fatally, at memorial for shooting victim
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Thanks to the inability of California to govern itself and its love of spending like a drunken sailor at a Hong Kong cathouse, we're gonna bail the state out
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The most important thing for California politicians right now is video games and apparently not the crushing weight of failure that threatens to implode the state faster than a Chinese buffet being ravaged by Perez Hilton
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman tries to download Modest Mouse ringtone and ends up with child porn instead, but at least T-Mobile offered her a refund
source: kval.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Albany Times Union)
 
 
 
41 million US motorists "may be unfit for roads", in much the same way as the sun may come up tomorrow or that Duke may suck
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "US swine flu deaths hit double-digits"
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS2Chicago.com)
 
 
 
Patti Blagojevich to appear on the reality TV show, "I'm the foul-mouthed wife of a corrupt politician with bad hair Get me out of here"
source: cbs2chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Man trying to burn anthill starts a blaze that damages about an acre of land. That must have been one big-assed magnifying glass
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
How do you know summer's coming in Toronto? the mercury rises above 85 degrees, and the trash workers threaten to strike
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Lady)
 
 
 
Stupid: Threatening harm to someone. Really stupid: Threatening a cop. As stupid as it gets: Threatening a cop via voicemail where it will be preserved for your trial
source: wsfa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Man's Best Friend...with benefits? (complete with mugshot)
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Obama has already had to take Jawin' Joe Biden behind the woodshed and smack him for being as disciplined as a toddler who needs a snack and a nap
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
UK may have its AAA bond rating downgraded. Knowing how the Brits drink, maybe AA is appropriate
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Photoshop this supercharged baseball fan
source: media.kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
According to Obama, your pension fund got whacked because its managers were reckless "speculators"
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(sungazette.com)
 
 
 
65 year old woman shooting BB gun causes $16,000 in damages to neighbors' homes. Police also note lack of squirrels in neighborhood
source: sungazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas.com)
 
 
 
When told to turn down your car stereo do you: C) Drive your car through city hall and receive a 10-year sentence?
source: kansas.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
Man claiming to be God beats neighbor's dog with cinder block because "it had the devil in it"
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Wolf t-shirt sales up 2,300% on news that wearing one will get you laid within 5 minutes of entering Walmart
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Won't share your fries with the kids? Batter up
source: wtopnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
Video
 
Here's Jimmy Kimmel's so-called "self-destructive" monologue that everyone is having a panic attack over
source: tvovermind.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Monthly)
 
 
 
Republicans attempt to stall climate bill by demanding all 900+ pages be read on the floor. Democrats hire a speed reader who can read a full page in 34 seconds
source: washingtonmonthly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS3.com)
 
 
 
After two months of marriage and her new husband still hasn't had sex with her, woman concludes it isn't her, it's the many men he is having sex with on Craigslist
source: cbs3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Lady)
 
 
 
Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; don't give a man a fish sandwich and he'll just steal it, lead police on a foot chase, and be charged with a variety of offenses
source: the-dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pittsburgh Tribune-Review)
 
 
 
Hottie, age 22, marries 84-year-old lumber magnate for four months, then divorced him because his life was too fast for her: "When you climb on your own jet for the 10th time and everything in four days..."
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Mom uses prayer rather than medicine to try to defend daughter from a "spiritual attack" by demons, that just happened to cause the exact same symptoms as type II Diabetes. It ends about how you'd expect
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miller-McCune)
 
 
 
Slackers live longer - now there's a study
source: miller-mccune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Man summonsed to court for public drinking charge not allowed to plead guilty because he was drunk. This man has found a loophole
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KCTV)
 
 
 
Soldier claims PTSD caused him to forget first marriage before Iraq tour, so it's legal that he married another woman when he returned
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
"Now that you've dumped your 96 year-old grandma at a Salvation Army shelter, what are your plans?" "I'm taking my family to Disney World, of course."
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Couples to rely solely on male contraceptive in new trial. Consists of her pointing and laughing
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Things to do with your Rolls Royce today: Ram raid a liquor store after they refuse to sell you alcohol
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Obama is so awesome that he can even make Karl Rove happy: "Barack Obama inherited a set of national-security policies that he rejected during the campaign but now embraces as president. This is a stunning and welcome about-face"
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WPTZ)
 
 
 
If you happen to be in or around Burlington, Vermont today at noon: PETA is planning a nude protest
source: wptz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reading Eagle)
 
 
 
Just robbed a bank? Well driving fast with the radio cranked up to 11 just might not be the best way to keep avoid the poilce. Bonus: It was the second high speed chase within 24 hours by the same cop
source: readingeagle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
MOTY: Woman leaves toddler with cerebral palsy home alone attached to a feeding tube. Father finds the toddler unresponsive. Mother: "I'm the REAL victim here"
source: blog.cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
If you're an Egyptian tycoon with ties to the Egyptian president, and you paid $2 million to a former police officer to get the Lebanese pop star you were having an affair with whacked, congratulations on your shiny new death sentence
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Space Shuttle Atlantis crew to-do list: 1. Fix Hubble 2. Shuttle Safety Check 3. Testify from orbit before the Senate Commerce, Justice and Science Appropriations Subcommittee 4: Photograph Earth...wait, what was #3 again?
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Conservative MP Sir Peter Viggers resigns, following news that he claimed a £1,645 'Duck Island' on expenses. "It was in accordance with the rules", Viggers pleas
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
FBI likes their terrorists how they like their women: "relatively unsophisticated, penetrated early"
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Chevron reports gas release, blames it on the dog
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tenement building
source: ljplus.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Texas mayor abruptly resigns after proclaiming his love for illegal Mexican man
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Fish market stored live crabs in toilet. Puts the 'dung' in 'dungeness'
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SILive.com)
 
 
 
New York man accused of stealing business partner's dentures at gunpoint. Prosecutors demand the tooth, the whole tooth, and nothing but the tooth
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Hunter sets record for long range killing of a toilet with an impressive 1.06 miles
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Study from the Louis Skolnick Research Institute reports that IT Nerds are better in the sack
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man climbs Mt. Everest for the 19th time. Says he's not done yeti
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Not News: Toddler want toy truck. News: Toddler buys it herself online. Fark: It wasn't a toy, parents receive bill for NZ$20,000
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
If you're not using a gun, is hunting deer with your brother's BMW really a crime?
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Film School Guy)
 
 
 
Learned retrospective and analysis of revolutionary animator Tex Avery's classic cartoons. Of course you know this means YOUTUBE
source: brightlightsfilm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
And the American Idol winner is...
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
If you committed vehicular manslaughter against a homeless woman in Tampa, the police would like a word with you. Just kidding, you get a check for $100,000. Seriously
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australia's Northern Territory is swarming with women who can't get laid because the local blokes aren't paying attention. Bonus gallery of sexy locals. Subby's packing his bags
source: ntnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Not news: Suspect flees. News: Cops beat the suspect after the chase ends. Fark: There were 5 cops and the suspect was unconscious
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
54 B.C. passport applications lost. Surely they're expired by now
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Montanans worried about new gun laws hoard ammo so fast that munitions factory is falling behind by 100,000 rounds a day, leaving the most paranoid people in a famously gun-crazed state armed to the teeth. This should end well
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 211: "The Shadow Knows"
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed May 20, 2009
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Woman explains in immense detail why fat men rock
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Man reluctantly gives up drinking after getting hammered, falling asleep on railway tracks and being run over by a train. Twice
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Police officer asks wedding guest to pull up his pants to comply with dress code. Does guest: a) pull up pants, b) leave wedding, or c) get arrested for disturbing the peace, along with the groom, the groom's brother and two others?
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You know, using a towing service to transport a 750-lb deceased person to the morgue might sound like a good idea at the time, but someone will have a problem with it. Here is that someone
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
If you parked your single-engine Piper in a northeastern Pennsylvania tree, you left your lights on
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
If you recently fled the country with $10,000,000 the bank accidentally deposited in your account, Interpol would like to have a word with you
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bad move: Stealing a 1970 Impala. Really bad move: Stealing it from an NFL running back, while he's watching
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Shorpy Photo Archive)
 
 
 
Photoshop these servicemen about to shower
source: img145.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
NIH Spends $178k studying why Thai hookers have high HIV risk. Submitter offers to explain it to them in fifteen minutes for mere $20k
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Maine bicyclists may soon have to stop for school buses just like motorist. Otherwise still allowed to be douchebags
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You know it was only a matter of time before you ended up on Fark if you like to play a game called "lighter tag," which involves squirting people with lighter fluid and then lighting the clothing of the person who is "it"
source: peninsuladailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Go ahead, try to read this without wincing
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TUAW)
 
 
 
Apple store in Chicago unveils the only version of windows that won't crash even when bricked
source: tuaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
The Pope encourages young people to use the internet, but says they have to use the same computer for the rest of their lives and they'll go to hell if they use any anti-virus software
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Bishop claims that church knew priests sexually abusing kids was morally wrong, but had no idea it was actually a crime
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(rnews.com)
 
 
 
After all these headlines about teacher/student sex lets get oldskool with a 27 year old woman bagging a 16 year boy. With a mugshot that even a paperbag wouldn't make better
source: rnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Bristol Palin says she didn't go to her prom or graduation parties because of her responsibilities as a single parent. If only there were an easy way of preventing pregnancy, some kind of abstaining action one could take
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Celebslam)
 
 
 
Britney Spears' dad threatening to cut off K-Fed if he doesn't stop losing all his money gambling. Wait, when did they start calling the Champagne Room "gambling"?
source: celebslam.celebuzz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
Waitress says she was fired because she won't wear makeup. Yes there's a picture of her, and no, she doesn't need makeup
source: www3.signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Two Minnesota men reenact the Battle of Tipsecanoe, with expected results
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Guy forced to sue to get his own land back: "All you need is a notary and a fake signature and they can take your property"
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Hapless Washington Nationals can't even do a simple thing right, like use a cannon to send sausages to fans
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Mark ur kalendurz: July 9 iz a Cheezburger Nite wif teh Seeattul Maranurz
source: seattle.mariners.mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Los Angeles unveils new multiple-choice quizzizzle for young children that can predict their likelihood to join a street gang
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Megan Fox says Olivia Wilde is so sexy she makes her "want to strangle a mountain ox." Wilde says she'd be happy make out with Fox to save the ox. Submitter will be in his bunk strangling something
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A slideshow of what happened to Michael Vick's dogs. Number 5 seems particularly happy
source: sportsillustrated.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Be warned. Placing a cat in a bong can land your stoned ass in court
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Boy uses snake as jump rope. Witnesses say it was hisssterical
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Changing your personal behavior the Obama way: "One thing seems certain by 2016: Taxpayers will be paying Detroit to make the cars Americans don't want"
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Idaho Guy)
 
 
 
Great moment in American journalism #112: "The Idaho Statesman is looking for some parents to speak with about the issue of 'sexting'"
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Not news: Rudy G's kid gets kicked off the Duke golf team. News: He sues and loses. Fark: The judge dismissing the case cites Carl Spackler. Duke sucks
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Spielberg to make MLK film, if the demands of the King family can be met. In other words, MLK film unlikely
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Obama will sign a bill today allowing concealed weapons into national parks - a feat conservatives couldn't pull off with majorities in the legislature and the Presidency
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Oil companies in 2008: "Demand is up, so we've regretfully had to raise prices." In 2009: "Demand is down, so we've regretfully had to raise prices"
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After successful missile test, Iran says Israel is now in range of its weapons. Israel "that's funny, 'cause you've been in range of our nukes for a couple of decades now"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC2News Baltimore)
 
 
 
Parents using ball and chain on their children that counts down a reasonable study time before unlocking. Hilarity in 3, 2, 1
source: abc2news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
The defeat of California's budget referendums illustrates that the state's problem is its voters and the idiotic initiative and referendum system that indulges their petty and childish whims and fancies
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
UAW reluctant to assume ownership of Chrysler, GM. Cites strained relations with labor, crushing retiree obligations
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Supreme Court of Canada to decide whether minimum-sentence laws can be ignored if the police beat the crap out of the suspect
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Family furious after city orders them to get rid of pet chickens: "You might as well be regulating what type of food I eat, what type of clothes I wear and what I do inside my home" (pic)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
What do you get when you mix a Veterans Day parade, the Confederate flag, the NAACP AND Florida?
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Help wanted: Seeking part-time Santa Claus. Last Santa arrested on child porn charges. Successful candidate will not be known by the name "Downtown the Clown"
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Louisiana House passes bill allowing refusal of health care, which is great because not everyone believes in blood letting and witches brew
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What are the chances of accidentally moving into a house across the street from your brother whom you never met, and who was given up for adoption?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Guantanamo Bay inmate calls for Cuba prison to be closed and everyone there to be moved to a Ramada Inn off I-95 in Maryland. "I've been there," he says. "It's nice"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Quiznos follows up their ad campaign which insinuates a guy having sex with an oven with an homage to 2 girls 1 cup. Because that's a great way to sell food (w/video)
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Amy Winehouse admitted to hospital again, just two visits away from earning free abortion
source: newswatch50.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Ted Haggard, who claims to have completely cured himself of the gay, tweets that he will be voting for Kris Allen to be the next American Idol
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Free at last. Free at last. Thank dog almighty, Michael Vick is free at last
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Black churches that supported civil rights when it was against segregation aren't quite as thrilled with civil rights when the issue is gay marriage
source: news.pinkpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dallas news station does 7th grade science experiment to discover doctor's offices contain germs. If only someone would write a book about this kind of story
source: kvue.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
We should let the state of California go bankrupt
source: meganmcardle.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Any time now, the tenacious watchdogs of the American media will notice Obama's numerous flip-flops and a budget that racks up a deficit that would make a GM accountant blush. Yep, any minute now
source: corner.nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pontiac)
 
 
 
Gina Carano in boxing trunks warms up for her next opponent. (Sponsored Link)
source: contest.maxim.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US Army takes AIG approach: "Well sure KBR's construction was so shoddy that the showers have killed more than a dozen soldiers, but that's no reason not to give them tens of millions of dollars in bonuses"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Two out of three fathers feel shut out of family life as the mother insists on doing the child-raising. The other third wish they could go to the bar too
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
If you sell drugs and get caught, just hide out for about 30 years under an assumed name and the charges will go away like magic
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS3.com)
 
 
 
Hey...I wonder what will happen if I toss this empty keg into the fire
source: cbs3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Experts say the best way to fight insomnia is a combination of pills and therapy. Apparently they've never heard of four beers and a joint
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
With no more important legal matters to settle, appeals court rules that Pringles are potato chips
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Texas Senate OKs gun possession at colleges. Asked for comment, reclusive nerds and frustrated virgins said "BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frisbee thrower
source: c2.api.ning.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Why is it that journalists are allowed (and even encouraged) to publicly challenge, question and criticize everyone else's boss - except for their own?"
source: mediaworkers.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
To improve hospital efficiency, Canadian researchers recommend dying at home
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Woman attending Mets game loses gold tooth in Citi Field toilet bowl, gets arm stuck trying to retrieve it. Workers eventually get her out but gold tooth, like Mets' 2009 season, remain in toilet
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Amid a devastating recession, teens are forced to scale back for proms on everything from dresses to limos. Eau de humanity
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Remember the "alien in the window" video? The guy who filmed it was a pre-qualifier for the 1992 Olympic U.S. cycling team and swears he was abducted and aliens told him secrets of space travel. Oh ya, and he has a book coming out
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
A prostitute's evolution: "I don't take money for sex, I take money for company and the sex is free."
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sick boy and his magical, cancer-curing mother are missing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
LTC Fehrenbach has been flying the F-15E Strike Eagle since 1998. He has flown numerous missions against Taliban and al-Qaida targets. We've invested $25M in him. Fehrenbach is gay and about to be discharged
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Fire Chief advises citizens to start carrying buckets of water around. Oh, no reason. Just in case, you know?
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Scientists spend £300,000 to find that ducks like water. Still no cure for cancer
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Perhaps it was only destiny that something called Swine Flu would have a special love for the fatties
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
German company security personnel screening: "She could be described as a female carnivore with an extremely elevated need for sex"
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
No more pencils. No more books. No more teacher's dirty pistol whippings
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Doctor: "I'm gonna need to drill a hole in your son's head." Parents: "Sure, go ahead"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Today's story of a burglar falling through the ceiling and landing in front of the cops brought to you by New Hyde Park, NY
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Energy Conservation press release sent out as single sheet of paper. Wrapped in tissue. Put in cardboard box and wrapped in a bubble envelope
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Nanny State town will no longer fly the Union Jack because of safety concerns about using an eight-foot ladder to hoist the flag
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Caption Joe Biden
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Set)
 
 
 
Photoshop this racy rocket rider
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australian man charged with illegally shooting two marsupials with a bow and arrow. Police vow that he will roo his actions
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Stealing flowers from graves and reselling them: hey, it's a tough economy
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Katu)
 
 
 
Coffee Creek prison guard arrested for dispensing cream to female inmate
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Man, I am so bored. Think I will go home." *knockknock* "Hi. We need you back at the courthouse, but not as a juror this time."
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KENS5)
 
 
 
I, for one, welcome our new ant overlords
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Rest assured that hard drives with sensitive data from previous presidential administrations will always be kept under the most secure conditions. Unless there's construction going on. Then anyone can get to them. And somebody just did
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Annnnd today's made-up media panic item is (does Mad-Lib)...Too much SODA can KILL YOU
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Somali pirate on trial in the Netherlands likes the country so much, he's considering staying there after his trial is over. "He thinks the lavatory in his cell is fantastic."
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Tue May 19, 2009
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Court rules you can't be fired for taking a sick day to go surfing. Righteous
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
President Obama gets the Republican governor of California, the Democratic governor of Michigan, the US auto manufacturers, and the unions to agree on major fuel standards and cuts to emissions and 2012
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
11 prosthetic limbs in a year? Sounds like somebody's pulling her leg
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Not News: Recent parolee fatally wounded during botched burglary attempt. Fark: Family to hold candle-lit vigil outside store he tried to rob because they don't want people thinking he was "some sort of lowlife"
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Austin woman has nursed over 1000 possums to health. And she's single, fellas
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Minnesota breaks temperature records with 66 degree separation across state. In response, polar bear club cooks bacon on sidewalk
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewOrleans.com)
 
 
 
SuperBowl returns to New Orleans for 2013 - Time to start that post-Katrina clean-up
source: neworleans.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy waiting for his prints at the fotomat booth
source: blog.masslive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WTAM)
 
 
 
Want to piss off the community? Tell an elderly military mom she can't honor her son with a window flag
source: wtam.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Cyprus overrun by asses. Donkeys too
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Mexican resorts offering 'Flu Free Guarantee'. If you catch Swine Flu while there you get three free trips back. Montezuma's revenge sufferers to receive free copy of Dianetics to read on the john
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
I'd like a Triple Whopper, extra large fries, diet Coke and a radiator grill, please. To go
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
University sponsors a foam party in hopes of keeping students from jumping into a city fountain in their underwear to celebrate the end of finals. "I could think of a lot worse things they could be doing than an Undie Run"
source: orange.freedomblogging.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
The IN dept of transportation is starting a bus route from Muncie to Indianapolis due to overwhelming job opportunities in the state's capital. Just kidding, it's because "a lot of people need to visit the state prison."
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass pig named "Slumhog Millionaire" selected as St. Paul Saints new mascot; future breakfast side dish
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania small-town mayor calls police, attempts to have protester arrested for "attempts to criticize (my) campaign"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC Health Commish want to ban Indian Reservation from selling cheap smokes. Bonus: includes the word "Poospatuck"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
2009 Al Qaeda recruiting drive ramping up, as USAF proves it can hit the broad side of a barn. And the house next door. And the school down the street. We're doing it wrong
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
That Canadian beat-boxing girl on YouTube who wanted to win the World Beatbox Battle Wildcard, and who most Farkers laughed at last week? She won
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter