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Sun May 17, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Man who only went to an auction because his mother was doing the catering and offered him a free bacon sandwich ends up buying an L29 Russian fighter jet. Bacon
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Thousands of Mini owners take to the roads to celebrate car's 50th anniversary. And that's the real Mini, not the made-in-Mexico POS cluttering today's roads (cool pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Farker attending American Idol Tuesday night. Wants to make a sign. What should it say? Difficulty- no logos or businesses. Voting enabled
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(341)
 
(Time)
 
Plug
 
How to ace your annual performance review. Reminder: in two years you do NOT see yourself doing the boss's wife. Or son. (Featured Partner)
 
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Not a shock: The most self-absorbed generation in history can't handle being called grandma or grandpa. Seems it makes them feel old. News flash: You are
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(307)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this elephant and its exquisite ensemble
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Next Father's Day, don't give Dad a tie or some other lame gift. Get him what all fathers want: Tank driving lessons
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Today's "sex with a student" story comes from Alpine Academy's treatment school for troubled girls. Older guy/teen girl, so bring the pitchforks and torches
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
After exhaustive investigation, Florida newspaper concludes that travelers who lose valuables while flying are screwed
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(WTFark)
 
Plug
 
iFAP: New Device Lets You Have Actual Sex With Your Tablet. So Yes, There's An App For *That* Now Too.
 
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
This weeks dumbest idea ever: Fake Department Of Homeland Security photography license
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Illinois was going to raise tax on wine and hard liquor, now going to raise tax on beer: "The beer people feel left out so we're considering adding them". Suck it, Joe Sixpack
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Train station provides wheelchair-accessible phone and ramps to get on and off the trains. Unfortunately a flight of stairs is the only way to get to the station
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
NIMBY homeowner wants NYC million trees program cut to 999,999 trees
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Nigerian militants claim to have destroyed two oil pipelines. That sound you hear is gas station owners falling over themselves to raise prices
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Go mess with Texas. No, really. Everybody's doing it
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(330)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Newt Heisley, age 88 passes away in Colorado Springs, CO. Never heard of him? Everytime you see a POW/MIA flag, now you know who designed it
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Prison inmates learn to care for retired race horses, which presumably, they can't ride out of lockup. "There's no limit to the number of correctional facilities with land. (And) we're not running out of inmates to teach."
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Release of a new Lincoln penny draws 2,500 nerds out of their basement. Remarked one virgin, ""This is a lifelong dream"
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The recession's on, so let's take a look at what people are buying: gardening seeds, tanning products, Spam. Oh, and condoms. Lots and lots of condoms
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
"We can't figure out why so many perfectly intelligent Canadians...insist on the importance of maintaining a masquerade that is hollow and (let's face it) irrelevant." Happy Victoria Day, Canada
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Story: Greece wants to ban women from wearing spike heels at historic sites. Bonus info: Maintenance crews found and removed 59 pounds of chewing gum stuck under the marble seats
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Behind the scenes
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Once a status symbol, the piano is rarely found in today's households. Pianist
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Cyber-school pupil barred from public school dance, told to get back in his mother's basement
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Jaunted.com)
 
 
 
Recessionary Travel Trends: Camping's Making a Comeback, foreshadowing an increase in conversations beginning with "You TOTALLY just wiped your ass with poison sumac"
source: jaunted.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Prom that was canceled after students held a food fight is now back on. Behold the power of Fark. "Punishing the entire school for the actions of a few students is not an appropriate response"
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Man's car is stolen with his laundry inside, later spots thief wearing his clothes and gives chase - then realizes a man with a gun is also chasing him
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
For a modest, upfront fee, atheist says he will deliver cards and letters from Christians to their non-believing friends, relatives and neighbors left behind when the Rapture comes. P. T. Barnum was so very, very, right
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman who prayed her daughter to death suffers medical emergency during her trial. Yeah, they called 911
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
China to open "tasteful, educational" sex theme park. German tourists to come for the water slide
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Albany Times Union)
 
 
 
After 25 years, NY DMV gets around to threatening a woman with license suspension for running a red light; woman requests postponement until 2034
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
You have some serious issues if you're an adult who likes to wear diapers and also likes to show pictures of yourself wearing diapers to children
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Hugh Decide)
 
 
 
Pro pot on campus: "You know, when you get high on marijuana you don't act violent - you just kind of sit there" Anti pot on campus: "We just don't have a lot of highly successful students who are potheads"
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(365)
 


Sat May 16, 2009
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This list of "10 Pork Products That Make You Want To Keep Kosher" actually makes me just want to get lunch
source: iheartjews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(We're boned)
 
 
 
Proposed law would get people fingerprinted for speeding tickets. Winston Smith surrenders
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(262)
 
(WHIO)
 
 
 
*Still* not tired of stories about baby ducklings being rescued from storm drains? No? Here's another one, then
source: whiotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Cat amasses half a million Twitter followers, fulfilling one of the signs of the Apocalypse
source: weblogs.baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Bristol Palin graduates from high school, despite failing Trig
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(192)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Father calls police on basement-dwelling adult son for refusing his chores. Thousands of Farkers grab a broom
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
N.C. teen attempts robbery with a banana, eats the evidence, hopes to avoid jail on a peel
source: thedickinsonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Antarctic water well
source: englishrussia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
And you thought regular debt collectors were bad: the FBI is playing debt collector for the phone company
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Scientists claim have discovered the missing link between man, apes and monkeys. And it is.... a lemur. A very intelligent and nicely designed lemur I might add
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(296)
 
(Some Blind Guy)
 
 
 
It's official, the title of Ugliest Car EVAR has been handed from the Honda Element to this... marvel of aesthetic dissonance (voting enabled for competitor submissions)
source: nissanusa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(389)
 
(The Daily Beast)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart actually *reduces* obesity in low-income areas, and makes people generally healthier
source: thedailybeast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
Defense attorney sets up sting, tricks prosecution "bite mark expert" into matching bite wound photos to completely unrelated dental mold. Justice surrenders
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(LSJ)
 
 
 
Grunge and heavy metal are the latest looks in home decor. In other words submitters house full of junk finally stylish
source: lansingstatejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
13-year-old becomes youngest college graduate in Minnesota, but parents still say he plays too many video games. So he's screwed
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Are you tired of stories about baby ducklings being rescued from storm drains? No, of course you're not
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Voyage to the Bottom of the Sea)
 
 
 
My friend, you have no idea what modelmaking is until you've seen this 1/48 scale Seaview submarine with interior wood paneling and teeny control panels
source: fxmodels.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Cop caught on tape kicking a gang suspect in the head owns a clothing company that glorifies gang life. If you can beat them, join them
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Breathalyzer companies: "Our software is accurate, we just didn't want to release proprietary code." Software Analysts: "Yeah, about that..."
source: schneier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(244)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Probably the most important article ever published in the entire history of journalism
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Another sign of the bad economy: Spam and Dinty Moore Stew selling, like, uh, hotcakes, which presumably are still selling well, too
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Lay that pistol down, Babe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pistol-packin' mama
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Just in case you live in New York City and only get your news from Fark, please prepare to PANIC. There, you've been warned
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(The Pulse)
 
 
 
Juvenile Court judge fights truancy by punishing the parents of the scofflaw children. Fark: by making them pick up litter. That'll teach 'em
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Which is harder to believe: Agent Mulder in the basement of FBI headquarters researching aliens, or real FBI agents getting paid to twitter and play "Which classic FBI agent are you" apps on Facebook?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
If you are gay or lesbian, Seattle would really appreciate your business
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Texas officals are shocked, SHOCKED I say, at allegations that they used fake calls as a pretext to raid a polygamist compound
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(pregnancy360.com)
 
 
 
"Mythbusters" Kari Byron bust pregnancy myths
source: pregnancy360.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Restaurants putting cheaper fish in your meals. It's for the money, not for the halibut
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Alaska leads the nation in native-born wanting to get the hell out of the state, crazy governors, and really really good ice salesmen
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
"The unholy alliance between Sarah Palin and Carrie Prejean is explicitly stated in the Book of Revelations as a harbinger of the End of Days," says Dean of the University of Minnesota's School of Divinity. Tinfoil optional
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Behold the modern day glory and grandeur of what was once the humble grilled cheese sandwich
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chastity for Catholic priests: foolish, counterproductive, unnecessary, off-putting
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Chastity for Catholic priests: traditional, prudent, admirable, necessary
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Your dog has empathy, compassion, and a burning desire for steak
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Rep. Jim Moran (D-Umbass) wants to ban commercials for "performance enhancing drugs." Get a brain, Moran
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
UK researchers studying 8 year-olds' reactions to clips of "The Office"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(WBZ)
 
 
 
Why are there so many mile marker signs? Why are they only a fifth of a mile apart? Why do fools fall in love?
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Like swallows returning to Capistrano, and groundhogs predicting weather, it's time for the annual media tradition of the "Lots of people drive over Memorial Day Weekend" headline story
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
If you plan to join a university marching band, don't play the French Horn, because they hate that
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Experts think a boom in personal technology is causing more fights on the schoolyard. Because nobody ever fought at school when there were no cell phones or social networking sites
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
Boy Scouts of America to troop leaders: Go be fat somewhere else
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Thcool thpeech theripitht arrethted on child porn chargeth
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Midge, the one-eyed racing cat of Yorkshire is a star at Cannes film festival. Caturday showtime starts at 8
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(403)
 
(Some Portable Player)
 
 
 
Photoshop this iPod precursor
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If there's anyone you're not going to fool with fake bills, it's a stripper
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Norwich Bulletin)
 
 
 
Man singlehandedly pulls two buses filled with screaming school children out of the path of a speeding train. *Parts of this headline may have been exaggerated
source: norwichbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"The comments were originally presented as a way for WFAA.com users to engage in active, civilized conversations about online stories that would add context and perhaps even enlighten other readers. Unfortunately...."
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(WTMJ)
 
 
 
Woman gets foot stuck on accelerator, crashes into podiatrist
source: 620wtmj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
Moran arrested for sliding on Wrigley Field tarp during rain delay
source: redorbit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(SoooWEEEEEEEEE)
 
 
 
It's now legal in Texas to blast hogs with a 30-06 while cruising in your helicopter
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
List of '25 Most Controversial Movies Ever' doesn't include "Song of the South" but does prove people are too farking sensitive
source: ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(351)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Former Senator and Intel Committee Chair Bob Graham says his datebooks show the CIA never conducted 3 out of the 4 briefings they claimed to have given him; and never mentioned waterboarding at the other one
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(332)
 


Fri May 15, 2009
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Second time not the charm for accused bank robber
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Seriously, officer. It ain't my weed. Now is there a Cheetos machine around here?
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Wow, I just stole a gun. Now I can get those dental crowns I've always wanted BONUS: crime is called "theft by unauthorized taking"
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Wait...so you're telling me that a play about murder, radical Islam and homosexuality is somehow inflammatory?
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(KNX1070)
 
 
 
News camera captures hit & run victim trying to stop driver, who decides to go for doubles. Rollin'? Check. Hatin'? Check
source: knx1070.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
This week's TSG mugshot roundup: When you go to jail, you don't want the Spocker
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Last Call: Burlington, NC
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Final Reminder - San Francisco BBQ Park Party tomorrow, 11 am. DIT, LGT Dolores Park
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
World's tallest dog has leg amputated. Sounds like he'll need a Great Cane
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Some Clump Spirit)
 
 
 
Photoshop this katamari cake about to be cut
source: technabob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
78-year-old wife arrested, charged with kicking 84-year-old husband in nuts over long-held suspicions that he cheated on her "several times" 35 years ago
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Prom gets cancelled after students stage a large-scale food fight during lunch. "We're kids. Let us have fun"
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Cost of tuition got you down? Here are 8 colleges you can attend for free. Just one catch, you'll probably have to work and drinking is forbidden. In other words, you'll have to study
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Baltimore doesn't know what to do with their vacant lots, so they basically started up a Fark-style photoshop contest where people submit ideas. (Bonus: Includes link to all the submissions)
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Trailer full of bees breaks down on the interstate. Security officials rounding up dogs who can eat the bees
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hey, Mr. Cool Ice, maybe you should read this before you get your next tattoo
source: joethepeacock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(361)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
104-year-old lady becomes oldest Tweeter: "Chicken casserole was lovely, going to have a nod now"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
Remember that freedom of religion thing? Yeah, go ahead and scratch that off the list
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(795)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Photographer who took iconic picture metaphorically representative of America's Vietnam War experience dead at 67. No, not that one. That other picture. No, not that one either, the other one. Yeah, that one
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(The Pulse)
 
 
 
Today's "drug dealers who can't obey traffic laws" story comes from Southern Tennessee
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
You know your country's farked when Sierra Leone offers to send you some peacekeepers
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
115 people complain after Muslim is made BBC's Head of Religion. Presumably because they're worried he'll commission more Islamo-centric shows like his last project, 'Christianity: A History'
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
The cool thing about being a mail carrier is the access to all of those credit card applications you can fill out in other people's names
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
City wants to build a shelter for chronically jobless people which will have no restrictions on alcohol use. Don't most universities already have these?
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
With a 3.497 GPA Bristol Palin graduates "point zero-zero something" away from honors. It was probably the English grade
source: people.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(262)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Pro tip: If you're a teacher having sex with your students, don't leave the pics on your phone. Just sayin
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Seven secret societies that somehow control absolutely everything, independently of each other. It could be a conspiracy of some kind
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(362)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
White House online poll reveals what Americans really want: Legal marijuana, internet poker, and a crackdown on Scientology
source: voices.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(234)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Polish photographer spends four years taking pics of drunkards in their natural habitat: "Sometimes they don't know when to stop"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
It's FRIDAY and that means Photo Fun from our pals at TSG. This week's episode: What busy TV star subcontracted the coaching duties for his childs team? Contest ends at 4pm Eastern
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(WAAY TV)
 
 
 
Man wants to bury his dead wife on family property. Neighbors okay with it. Health department okay with it. Town council: "Not yours"
source: waaytv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Gwinnett Daily Post)
 
 
 
Police discover a new way to track down illegal immigrants: follow their pet turkeys home
source: gwinnettdailypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
China sex theme park causing controversy. Nobody tall enough to get on rides
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Wave of recent closures are forcing remaining Chrysler dealers to "get creative" when it comes to staying in business. Somehow, "stop selling Chryslers" didn't warrant consideration
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dubious deity
source: photofile.name   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Prisoner in cuffs escapes in stolen truck, doesn't really think about how hard it is to steer in cuffs. Hilarity ensues
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A heart-warming tale of adopted sisters, re-united after 35 years only to discover that they hate each other
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
When does a typical mugging require a 1200 word newspaper article? When the victim is a newspaper reporter, of course
source: edmontonjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
With no horny middle school teachers available, awesome dad arrested for trying to hire a hooker for his 14 year old son. It was only $30, but it's the thought that counts
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(ABC2News Baltimore)
 
 
 
Yellowstone National Park employees caught on webcam urinating into Old Faithful Geyser. "Luckily for both of them, the geyser was not erupting at the time"
source: abc2news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
If you're a Dakota Indian living in Minnesota, you're breaking Federal law
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Cuban man protests prison and housing conditions with three-month long hunger strike. Castro: "Whatever". Hungry guy: I win
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man in Snuggie attempts burglary by stacking crates up to a window - Fail tag prevails
source: dailyrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
TARP II: Insurance Boogaloo
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
They are getting smarter. When they find out about lolcats, we are all farked
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
What's the quickest way for a cop to earn a suspension? Give a politician a parking ticket
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Finally, evidence the barriers are breaking down as women are allowed to compete in Israeli truck pulling contests (w/ video)
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(Some Maineiac)
 
 
 
Wrong number and a deaf receptionist leads to the evacuation of a medical center. "Hello, is my bomb there?"
source: pressherald.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Recession Drives Moms to Drink, Do Drugs and Gamble." So...silver lining
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Guess which country is the angriest in Europe? Clue: If the French were your neighbors, you'd be pretty angry too
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Blackpool to re-launch itself as the new romantic destination of choice. Possible catchphrase: "Blackpool - Please ignore the opaque greyness enveloping you and come enjoy our fake Eiffel tower"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this handheld thermal image device
source: nookncranny.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(wptv.com)
 
 
 
Guy in car with chair on boat on trailer on freeway in trouble, because woman behind guy in car with chair on boat on trailer on freeway in canal
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
New "horny" bra that boosts when women feel sexually aroused is being tested by lingerie designers. Submitter to be surrounded by lots of "A" cups in the near future
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1053)
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Streets blocked, buildings evacuated, police and fire departments, bomb squad, and Jack Bauer called in to handle unknown explosive device. And by "explosive device" we mean "lampshade"
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Mexican officials campaign to put the pork back in the taco
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Freshman sets off chemical stink bomb in last days of the school year. Back in the day: spring fever Today: unlawful possession of an explosive device
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 


Thu May 14, 2009
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
468-year-old karate master attempts to eliminate bus rider infected with the swine flu, then it gets all nunchucky
source: summitdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study shows that monkeys playing "Deal or No Deal" can feel regret and shame, which is already one emotion more than average "Deal or No Deal" contestants seem to have
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A bowl of whole-grain cereal is as good as a sports drink for recovery after exercise, according to new research supported by the General Mills Bell Institute of Health and Nutrition, which has no bias whatsoever towards cereal
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Fearing her probation officer and landlord might not understand, woman moves a dead body from her bathroom out to the hall. Well, what else was she supposed to do?
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
30 years later, couple says their business plan to switch from selling pizzas, to selling porn was sound. Suck it Harvard MBAs
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
FDIC Economist charged in attempted bank robbery. Ironic tag gets new lease on life
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(2TheAdvocate.com)
 
 
 
FEMA tricks out new trailers for next disaster. All units to come with 22" spinner rims, a hydraulics system, and a horn that plays La Cucaracha
source: 2theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Man promises to drive his daughter and her two guests to a local river so they can get a close-up view. He succeeds
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Man in SUV makes a decision to go around the car stopped at a RR crossing with the guard down and lights flashing. Since this is Fark you know his decision was wrong
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: I put on my robe and wizard hat
source: s1.b3ta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If tourists flock to your town in honor of a chicken who lived 18 months past having his head chopped off, then you might be a redneck town
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Boy scouts learn how to be prepared to fight terrorists (w/ picture of the most badass scouts you will ever see)
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(314)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
This man has photographed his children every day for the last 12 years. Even he doesn't seem to know why
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Corpus Christi Caller-Times)
 
 
 
A party celebrating a candidate's mayoral victory ended with nearly a dozen police cars at the scene, a city councilwoman in handcuffs and the acting police chief arrested by his own officer. Party on, Texas
source: caller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(SpaceWeather.com)
 
 
 
Photo of the Space Shuttle approaching the Hubble Telescope. The Sun is there
source: spaceweather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
Broward County high school graduates to sanitize their hands before their swine-flu riddled diplomas from disease-infested teachers and principals
source: justnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(azfamly.com)
 
 
 
The word "fat" printed under a girl's picture in her high school yearbook. "I don't want to go back to school."
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(619)
 
(Westword)
 
 
 
You are given a large post dated check that is also a suicide note. Do you A: Call the police... B: Inform the family of their relative's plans... C: Keep the check in a safe until the post date and cash it
source: westword.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
If you lost your job, Pfizer will give you drugs for free, including Viagra. Because if there's one thing the jobless need, it's potency
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
British traffic officials are going to experiment with cutting congestion by turning off all traffic lights. What could go wrong?
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Chinese space junk buzzes space shuttle, Hubble. Hee, hee, subby said 'junk'
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
South Dakota's hispanic population has doubled since 2000. Miguel reportedly happy to finally have some company
source: wctrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Pete Rose says Alex Rodriguez should be in the baseball Hall of Fame. Because Pete Rose has any authority to speak on who should be in the Hall of Fame
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(236)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Nice fixer upper prison for sale, seller is motivated. Other listings include large coliseum with unique history, and a "Cow Palace". Interested buyers urged to contact a Mr. Schwarzeneger
source: santacruzsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
NBC Chicago ponders if they should eat a stray pint of Ben & Jerry's found on the street
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(CBS11tv.com)
 
 
 
Parents of precious snowflakes outraged at McDonald's for giving out CDs in happy meals which contain a word that sounds like an expletive. (Bonus: Includes sound clip of song in question, and submitter kind of agrees...)
source: cbs11tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Media hypocrisy as bankrupt Tribune company hands out executive bonuses. Also, Megan Fox is bisexual
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
Police pull over a man who was driving while eating a bowl of cereal. "He was hungry"
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
If you want to interview Elizabeth Edwards, you can't mention John's mistress by name. You can, however, call her "That Whore," "Slutarella," or "Little Miss Skank"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
If you're white and live in Orange County, you now qualify for Affirmative Action
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Citizen: Do you think all of these floating pieces of plastic that have been coating the ground are anything to worry about? Maryland Government: Nah
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(KSAT)
 
 
 
Inmates complain about high prices at prison commisary. Would play world's smallest violin, but that'll cost you two packs of smokes and a reach-around
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
26-year-old rides a bicycle 180 miles to have sex with 15-year-old girl, wear yellow jersey
source: thetimes-tribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
If at first you're not jailed for DUI, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try, try again
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Gravekeeper sued over monkey's resting place -- Actual topic: Florida
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Ticketmaster to start using paperless tickets - after the ass-reaming you get over their prices, you'll be glad it was available as toilet paper
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Boortz)
 
 
 
Neal Boortz blast Obam........wait he is defending him. Ok who divided by zero
source: boortz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Long-awaited Ivory Coast elections set for November 29th, or as soon as 99.44% of eligible voters sign up to vote
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Dick Cheney channels FreeRepublic: "Everybody's in a giant conspiracy to achieve a different objective than the one we want to achieve"
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
"I had no idea there was a speed limit."
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The average potency of marijuana has never been so freaking high man
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(230)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Dell launches "Netbooks for Wymyn" site. Includes phrases such as "Your netbook can do more than delivery juicy celebrity gossip. Did you know it can also find new recipes too? It's true"
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(268)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
$2.6 million from US Government, check. Chinese female sex workers, check. Alcohol, check. Now where's the blow
source: chattahbox.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Some Hands-Free Guy)
 
 
 
University of Hawaii Chancellor will not shake hands with graduating students due to H1N1 virus concerns; will do chest bumps instead
source: honoluluadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Sideshow Bob's brother donates $100 million to Habitat for Humanity
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
As if cancer weren't enough of a worry - now when you smoke you have to worry about NINJAS
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Welcome to Obama's America, where a marine official telling the truth about failures to adequately supply troops gets him dragged in front of a political committee and fired
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
New drug czar says we can't have a war on drugs unless we put the drugs in prison or something
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Remake of classic film 'The Dambusters' is being held up because no one can come up with a politically correct name for one of the character's dogs
source: blogs.theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
If this truck driver had just taken his breath mint like a normal person might, this link would never have been submitted to Fark
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Celibate priest writes sex guide for married couples. This should end well. By hand, obviously
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Video of protestors disrupting the beginning of Tucker Max's speech at Ohio State (Not safe for work language)
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Reno Gazette-Journal)
 
 
 
Man sees gorilla in his motel room, shoots at it, blacks out, takes a drive and shoots his passenger. Then it gets weird
source: rgj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
"Will Fark for $" is not a smart way to advertise your prostitution services. With mug shot of 18-y-o hooker
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Taking too long to answer the door? That's a forking
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US vigilante border patrol groups faced with the unique problem of preventing illegal crossings into Mexico now that swine flu is more prevalant in the US
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
Woman armed with a bowl of chili and a broom fights off three home intruders. Remember, chili-control advocates: when chili is outlawed, only outlaws will have chili
source: knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(An Amused Bystander)
 
 
 
Webcam captures eternal struggle between rail bridge and clueless truck drivers. Bridge, badly outnumbered, remains victorious
source: 11foot8.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Doctor to patient: "Yeah, um.....you know how we cut off your breasts cuz we thought you had breast cancer? My bad. Sorry bout that DUDE."
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(BBSpot)
 
 
 
Apple rejects "Jesus raping retarded children with Hitler's penis" iPhone app. The Aristocrats
source: bbspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Tyler be nimble, Tyler B. Quick, Tyler lights on fire some man's dick
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
All you never wanted to know about Angels & Demons, anti-matter, and Dan Brown's penchant for writing like a first grade version of Michael Crichton
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Best. Police sketch. Evar
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
First marijuana vending machine to open Monday, E9 for Purple Kush, D2 for Funyuns
source: ourkitchensink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
John McCain's mom to Rush Limbaugh: You're a wanker
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Just a tip for all you EMT's out there: Bosses apparently get all uppity if you take photos of murder victims and post them on your facebook page
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
This story brought to you by the Rowan Atkinson School of Dentistry
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Fred takes the wrong line skiing, goes off 350 foot cliff, comes out without a scratch. With awesome Fred-induced snow crater
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
What really goes on around a TV news set during commercials (w/ video)
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Sarah Palin weighs in on the Miss California gay marriage issue. What took so long Mrs. P?
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(336)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Pope Benedict never, never, never belonged to the Hitler Youth. Except for that one time. But that's it
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Rush Limbaugh apology watch for today: Arizona Rep. John Shadegg
source: thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Right next to a story of 36 murdered school children. Ooops
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Michelle Malkin)
 
 
 
Prominent Marine anti-war activist who was wounded during one of his three tours in Iraq turns out to be a mental patient who never even served
source: michellemalkin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If your copy of a secret treaty with China says "DO NOT MAKE PUBLIC" it's probably best not to table it in Parliament
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
New service lets you do all kinds of cool things with your phone. But some say it may be dangerous. Other people say it's nifty. But we'll mostly focus on the people who say its dangerous
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Men's underwear industry increases cost, complexity, and confusion to better appeal to core buyers: Women
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Vet' arrested for cutting down Canadian flag flying level with US flag in accordance with US laws, explains his side: "Georgia's looking a lot better. You all have some strange laws around here."
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
The 10 most hated comedians. Yes, Fark's favorite made the list
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(553)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The rain in Spain shows traces of cocaine
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
In reversing itself and blocking the release of photos of U.S. military personnel abusing detainees, the Obama administration claims to have found a new legal argument. It hasn't
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(223)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Alicia Keys wants $5 from every "American Idol" fan. On a totally unrelated topic, the sign-up link for TotalFark is on the top right hand side of your screen
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British comedian in trouble for taking a photo of a sign that says "it is a criminal offence to take photographs"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(WSBTV)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Paying child support after knocking someone up. New hotness: Paying child support after someone else knocks up your wife
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(335)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Former DC mayor who couldn't balance his own budget will help other US mayors not balance their budgets. FARK: We're not talking about Marion Barry
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Be careful who you spy on, lest you want your spy helicopter attacked by axe wielding gypsies
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
One's a dog and one's an orangutan. How can these two live in Myrtle Beach without driving each other crazy?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Lady assumes a check is a scam, gets good news that the check is real. In her defense, the check did come from the Florida Department of Revenue
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Most. Reckless. Storm. Chaser. Evar
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Oprah to James Frey: "you are an Awful human being" James Frey : "I have a tape of a famous daytime TV talk show host revealing a giant secret" Oprah :" You Know, James, I think I may have been a little hard on you
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Actual U.S. Unemployment: 15.8%
source: voices.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
LA man steals identities to buy 2006 Lexus from CO, gets caught, impoersonates judge to try to get sheriff to drop charges, then it gets weird. Comments are best part of the article
source: thetowntalk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Apparently, there's still a debate going on in the US about seatbelt laws. Sounds like a self-correcting problem
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Pope visits Nazareth, says hatred must end. Next on itinerary: Creed, Nickelback
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(The Pitch)
 
 
 
A couple of Beanie Madoffs: speculator authors of 1998's "Beanie Baby Handbook" promised gullible kids Beanies would be worth $1000 in 2008. Today's Ebay price for most: $1
source: blogs.pitch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
DUI defendant finally gets access to breathalyzer code, ironically finds developers were probably drunk when they wrote it
source: dwi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Pastor gets the fear of God tasered into him by Arizona Border Police
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(201)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tiger toddler encounter
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Dear parents: we'd like to take this opportunity to let you know how truly sorry we are for tear-gassing your children. Sincerely, Turkish police
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Not news: Teen girl doesn't wear panties on school picture day. News: Picture of her hoo hoo ends up in yearbook. Fark: School officials tell her to "laugh it off," continue to distribute yearbooks
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(529)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Do you take this bride... hold on, Bob, is that you? (With hot or not pic)
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
53 year old Mormon Vietnam veteran constructs cardboard flippers to swim into Vietnamese compound and write faith based book. Then it gets weird
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(News 5)
 
 
 
Council tells man that he can continue to have the female mannequin outside his restaurant, but from now on she can't be topless
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Educators to require personal finance education in hopes of teaching kids the importance of saving. FARK: Requirement raises cost for the school districts without any funding from the state
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man gets 90 days in jail for shooting wife during sex
source: springfieldnewssun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Tonawanda News)
 
 
 
"During (our) interview, the driver was irate at the passenger and kept yelling at him for asking the police if we had any weed"
source: tonawanda-news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(ThisIsNottingham)
 
 
 
British family pay $43,000 to have their son sedated and flown home from Australia after he develops a fear of flying halfway through their vacation
source: thisisnottingham.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
When test-driving a new convertible, don't leave the purchase money loose in the backseat
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
You know you're a bad ass when you're not afraid to fight Taliban in pink I ♥ NY boxer shorts
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(254)
 
(Some Nihilist)
 
 
 
Bowling alley employee abuducted at gun point and forced to open the safe, mark it zero
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Just because the Nigerian Scam comes to your door with a giant bag filled with cash doesn't mean you won't get owned by a cup of coffee
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Neither rain, sleet nor the gloom of night will keep postal carriers from their appointed rounds. However a 20 pound terrier will
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Georgia police chief suspended for wearing jeans, boots to work. Mirrored sunglasses, cowboy hat still OK
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're a teenage girl with no money, a two-pack-a-day smoking habit and no job prospects, the solution is simple: have a baby. No, really
source: themercury.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sculpture
source: clivew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Man builds huge Alfred E. Neuman portrait out of thousands of CDs to fulfill lifelong dream of being published in Mad magazine. Could've just written amateurish, predictable satire to achieve same goal (w/ pic)
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
75-year-old granny has "designer vagina" operation to improve her sex life. The sun hasn't been there in years
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Former KKK grand wizard and presidential hopeful David Duke is currently running a birdwatching company in Austria
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Daytona Beach News-Journal)
 
 
 
Man who was just robbed of $12,000 while trying to buy 20 pounds of marijuana to 911 operator: "I was just held at gunpoint trying to buy drugs. We're following the dude right now."
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Federal lawsuit to decide if Bounty or Brawny is the 'quicker picker-upper'
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
13 year old suspended from school for putting green highlights through her hair (with "why don't you take a seat over there" pic)
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Terrified office worker films spinning grey object gliding threateningly over Bristol without making a sound: "It was the freakiest thing I have ever seen in my life" (with vid)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 210: "Happy Farktography Anniversary IV"
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 


Wed May 13, 2009
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Church unveils new statue of Jesus showing him in jeans and a modern shirt. The surprising part is that so far, nobody's complained
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
British ministers admit they 'guessed' how many immigrants would enter the UK when it opened up its borders. Which may explain why they got it wrong...by 2,400%
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Yo mama is so fat, she gets her own nightclub
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Who the hell spends $441 at a bagel shop? Bernie Madoff, that's who
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
$200K man cave has just enough room for five sports cars and 300 bottles of wine
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Kangaroo hops into surf, gets into trouble, is rescued by passing Steve Irwin-style surfer dude. (With pic)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Pentagon says they may call in an airstrike on Matthew Broderick
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(MeeHive)
 
 
 
Providence mayor wants to tax private college students $125 per semester. Trustifarians and Hipster douche bags claim it'll cut into their Pabst budget
source: meehive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
A total of 28 people were found in the water, no one knows how they got there, see tag
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Things that go bump in the night
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
LDS Sect: Can you throw out all that evidence of bigamy and underage sex? Texas Prosecutors: Sure that sounds...WAIT A MINUTE
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(ktvb.com)
 
 
 
The Burger King is lonely after somebody stole his 14 foot tall inflatable Spongebob Squarepants
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"Transportation Dept. scraps NYC slot auctions". Awww, man, first Craigslist, and now the NY Transportation Department?
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
News: Smug-looking bastard assaults his girlfriend and her daughter. Fark: "There were no marks on her nose, she said, because Bryant has no teeth."
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
News: 4 year old girl gets into stranger's truck. Brother chases down truck and pulls sister out of the vehicle. Fark: Then brothers get all their friends together to go pay the driver a visit at his house
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Redding.com)
 
 
 
Woman busted for having sex with underage boys, with mugshot equivalent of being dealt 15 in blackjack
source: redding.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Glenn Beck thinks ACORN is planning his assassination. Really. Why are you laughing? He said it, not me. I'm just the messenger here
source: feeds.gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(318)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Reporter gets probation for trespassing on the property of a man he was investigating. What really makes this newsworthy is that it happened in Texas and he wasn't shot
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
With less than 6% of the $787,000,000,000 stimulus money spent, and the economy already recovering mostly on its own, should the government stop while it's ahead?
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Former Miss USA becomes former Miss USA director over California wide nude lesbian pornography or something
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(225)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
1 dead, 2 critical in LSD wreck...Who the hell drives on LSD?
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Bastards on the rise in North America, but no match for Iceland bastard rates
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
That guy who tried to kill Pope John Paul II, who thinks he is Jesus, wants to convert to Christianity...at a special baptism ceremony at the Vatican
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Was your house a meth lab? Do you look for: Rotten teeth in the baseboards? Porn stuck to the kitchen floor? Well, it's sweeps week in Southern Ohio, so come along for a very different kind of home inspection
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Offering police a joint probably not the best way to avoid arrest during a drugs raid
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Prehistoric fishing gear found in Egypt. Not found with it: Prehistoric can of Bud
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
David Geffen may buy 20 percent of the NY Times as a "civic investment." Critics worry he could turn it into a mouthpiece for Hollywood liberal politics
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Mother of the year tased after scrapping with deputy in front of kids after he finds cocaine in her car. With mug shot goodness
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
10-year old arrested and fingerprinted for possessing a toy weapon on school property and with terroristic acts and threats: "We got it from Wal-Mart for $5.96, in the toy section right next to the cowboy hats"
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(218)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Castrated hippo dies, presumably of embarassment (no photos in link)
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
28 days later, WHO investigating reports that the Swine Flu was man-made
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Chicago police officers to be rated on job performance, adaptability, attitudes, and interactions with the public. No word on whether there will be a talent or swimsuit portion of the evaluation
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Obama now wants to block abuse photos until that "Hope" poster guy can work some magic on them
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(193)
 
(KOIN)
 
 
 
So you want to get rid of that old mattress. Do you (C) spray paint "Mexican Swine Flu Mattress" on it and prop it up on a highway overpass?
source: koinlocal6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Apparently Texans are being too uptight again... this time, it is about a beer barn where scantily clad women serve drinks. Or it could have to do with it being across the street from an elementary school
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Half-pound hamburger stuffed with cheese and deep-fried is Maryland's best. But it's fried in canola oil, so it's not that bad. With pic that will require cardiac catheterization
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Thanh Nien News)
 
 
 
"Men should hold onto dongs, due to recent slashes"
source: thanhniennews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Dude, flares my car
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(WCPO)
 
 
 
Mailing 11lbs of pot to yourself: $100. Telling the judge your 28 lbs of pot is for personal use: $500. Judge responding with "Cheech and Chong would have had a hard time smoking that much" PRICELESS
source: wcpo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Texas museum acquires Michelangelo's first painting, made when was about 12yrs old. Experts dispute authenticity of the painting, as it depicts dogs playing poker
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Man hits pedestrian at Home Depot and runs down a state trooper before leaving the lot. Hits a van, backs up and hits it again. Drives off screaming "WOO HOO" as he strikes several vehicles before crashing head-on with a semi. TA-DA
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Blue diamond sells for $9.5 million. Green clover, purple horseshoe expected to go for considerably less
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"Absinthe is now apparently as uncool and contrived as the account executives and would-be hipsters who favor it"
source: thepour.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(318)
 
(The Daily Show)
 
 
 
The Daily Show on ASU's refusal to give President Obama an honorary degree: "The Harvard of date rape"
source: thedailyshow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(339)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thirty years on, search continues for the first missing child on a milk carton
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Preschool teacher discovers abusing his students is a hard habit to kick
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: What famous people might have looked like... had they been animals
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
FDA recalls face paint: Every drunk, beer-bellied sportsfan PANIC
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania passes law requiring health insurance companies to allow parents to continue covering their "children" under their plan until age 29. Because nobody likes you when you're 33
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(239)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
If you"befriend" someone named "Pantielover" on a file sharing site, there is a good chance that something that shouldn't be going on, is going on (w/ just what you'd expect mugshot goodness)
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Protip: When drunk and banging on your neighbor's house claiming to be a deputy sheriff, make sure there isn't already a real one inside
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British fisherman catch hallucinogenic fish. You should have seen the one that got away
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman communicates telepathically with dogs. "I'm sensing steak"
source: pressherald.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
You know how everyone at work and at you neighborhood tavern gets into the Super Bowl pool, and you always kinda know that its illegal, but nothing ever happens? Better think again
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Craigslist just lost 90% of their traffic
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(278)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Taking a page from the Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf playbook, Taliban leaders peek out from their bomb craters to demand that all Pakistani leaders step down
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Do you have any plans for how you would cope if your company went bust and left you stranded on a Russian container ship in Bristol with only a German shopping channel for entertainment?
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Consumer Tip: No one is going to give you an extended warranty on that 1983 Tercel that your mom gave you when you started school that has 175,000 miles on it
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(WTLX)
 
 
 
♫You don't tug on Superman's cape,You don't spit into the wind. You don't pull the mask off the old Lone Ranger and you don't fark with a Waffle House waitress
source: wltx.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Rabbi wants "scantily clad dummies" out of shops, but getting Paris Hilton to stop shopping likely to be difficult
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Researchers, who in no way are recieving money under the table from the Tobacco Institute, announce that smoking seems to boost the activity of a gene that burns fat
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(212)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It pays to clean out your car's glove box
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Sound and Motion)
 
 
 
15-year-old Kiwi boy becomes depressed after sleeping with his mom's best friend. Mainly because he knows he'll never top it
source: livenews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
After three weeks of telling everyone to panic, the WHO can't understand why people are wasting Tamiflu on even mildly swine-flu-like symptoms
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Toilet snake: 1, Trouser snake: 0
source: au.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fiber optic engineer
source: srs.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hugo Chavez names new cell phone after penis. Apparently, he wants to reach out and touch someone
source: intomobile.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Good: Homeland security agents can skip security lines, find out who the air marshals are on their flight, and carry guns. Bad: A part-time harbormaster's badge is apparently enough to fool airline staff. Fark: Twice
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Emergency services opted not to use emergency warning system during Australian bushfires because of concerns that if they over-used it, people might not pay attention to it in a real emergency
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
After spending $773K on soft drinks for their 14,000 prisoners last year, the Oregon State corrections officials will trim back and only allow one Coke per week per inmate
source: koinlocal6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Utah tip-toes cautiously into the 1930s, allows alcoholic beverages to be served directly from the bartender to the customer across the bar. You still have to sign a release acknowledging that you are going to hell
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
It really sucks when you watch an adult DVD called "Affairs with Others' Wives" and there's a scene starring your wife and your friend
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(219)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
The good thing about being a dog groomer at Petsmart is you can take your dog to work with you. The bad part is when it kills the customer's dog
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Not news: someone unplugged the fridge. Still not news: They left moldy food in there. Not news yet: Employee decides to clean it. FARK: 28 people sent to hospital for vomiting, hazmat team called in
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Pub owner sets up a 'Smoking Research Centre' in her bar to get round the nanny state's cigarette ban
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Why don't you eat at the food court? Is it the crowd? The smell? The baby rats in your chow mein?
source: winnipeg.ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
For some reason, a man who can jog, chat up women and masturbate all at the same time is considered "criminal" instead of "talented"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
...then they came for the soda drinkers, but I did not drink soda, so I did not speak up
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(603)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Quadriplegic wheelchair-bound Vietnam vet given $360 ticket for parking in handicapped space. They seen him rollin' and they hatin'
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Delaware may suddenly become relevant and cool again. One signature away from legalized sports betting
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 


Tue May 12, 2009
<
(WWL)
 
 
 
Louisiana may soon allow gun owners to bring their weapons onto campuses. This should end well
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(449)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man tries, fails to break in to pharmacy. Returns later with more tools, fails to break in, then arrested as he is leaving when police respond to first break in attempt
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
♫ Shave and a haircut- FREE BEER ♫
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Gay porn actor at Christian college tried to push back but couldn't resist the pressure so he's pulling out, though he wants to come again. Penises
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop this coniferous construction
source: img2.scoop.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Mind you, moose can be nasty, especially when they fall from the sky. Just ask my sister
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Fox 4 KC)
 
 
 
Man breaks into home, gets naked, eats food, looks at porn on the internet, and falls asleep on the couch. Whatever happened to just stealing something and leaving?
source: fox4kc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Police said the toddler did not have a previous record
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
If you're an unlicensed 16-year-old who is driving a stolen car, it's best to not flash your high beams at a cop
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Being blind, 'you have to be adventurous.' I SAID, 'YOU HAVE TO BE ADVENTUROUS'
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Space Shuttle damaged on takeoff, and even though NASA says there's nothing to see here, move along folks, they're rushing to prep another shuttle for launch "just in case"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(354)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Arrested for using your iPhone to take a picture of an open ATM in public? Hmm, there's no app for that
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(315)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
U.S. earns first-ever seat on UN Human Rights Council, joining pillars such as Cuba, China, and Saudi Arabia
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(251)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
A federal jury in Miami has convicted five men of plotting with al-Qaida to topple Chicago's Sears Tower and bomb FBI offices. Dick Cheney for the Win
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Woman files human rights complaint because her son wasn't allowed to see someone who might be his grandfather
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Just in case you were wondering, when you become a security guard at a prison there are some expectations that come with it... Like locking the cell doors
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Burning popcorn in a microwave and tying your dorm-mates' doors shut does not a funny prank make, say police
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(WJZ.com)
 
 
 
Sweet potato spill causes massive traffic yam
source: wjz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
A car-sharing program intended to save Maryland money has ended up costing $1,300 per hour of driving
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Flat screen TVs: Superior technology or CHILD KILLING MACHINES?
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(307)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pirate
source: af.mil   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
In a shocking news story, patient at psychiatric hospital wants right to refuse electroshock therapy. The fact that this method is still current is revolting, because patient isn't even terminal
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(178)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
109-year-old woman writes to the Queen to complain about the birthday cards she gets from her, receives surprise face-to-face apology from Prince William
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(110)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Towel can help build your body, get you high
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(61)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Swedish court says you can abort your child if it's a girl and you wanted a boy, or if it's a boy and you wanted a cthulhu
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(457)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Your unsupervised toddler crawls through a dog door and drowns in the pool. Do you: A. Take personal responsibility? B. Get busy making a replacement kid or C. Sue the dog door maker for not warning you that babies can crawl through a dog door?
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(392)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Today's made up word that will make you want to stab someone in the neck whenever you hear it: "Weisure". Note: For optimal enjoyment, read this article in your best Elmer Fudd voice
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(98)