If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
You might try our Headline Search for easier navigation here.
These links may be stale and generate errors. Can't do much about it. Tastes like chicken.
(Headline T-Shirts are still available for archive links.)
Sun May 03, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
"There are a lot of people out there who don't like donkey ball, but they're usually city folks who ain't never been around any animals before."
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(oobject)
 
 
 
Dental chairs through history. #5 is a WTF mindfark from hell
source: oobject.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
D'immersion en français pour créer deux niveaux du système scolaire pour les étudiants. If you can't read that, it only proves the point
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(325)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN features couples kissing with paper masks to prevent swine flu. Confirms subby's belief that the only sane people left in the world are on FARK
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Largest cigarette tax increase in Washington State history may cause smokers to quit. And they may start exercising, stop littering everywhere, and have pleasant personalities
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(418)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Because having a giant subwoofer in the back of your car just wasn't enough
source: oobject.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(boulder daily camera)
 
 
 
Swine flu panic reaches asshat levels when elementary students get sent home for just visiting Mexico. School administrators busy trying to handle newest crisis: cooties
source: dailycamera.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Researchers say women in positions of power would help businesses. "The culprits (of the financial crisis), one can't help but notice, were overwhelmingly male"
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this heated argument
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Mother Nature spins the earthquake wheel, and it comes up....hold on....tick tick tick tiiiick.....Guatemala. Congratulations, Guatemala
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
This guy is going to jump off the Grand Canyon and hope that he can fly using only rocket-propelled wings. If he's right, big deal. If he's wrong, he's Pasadena carpet mulch
source: dailyexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Greatest impromptu piano duet by a 90-year-old couple in the Mayo Clinic lobby you'll hear today. Cool tag because there is no AWESOME tag
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Catholic Church weighs in on genetically modified foods. Lettuce pray
source: catholicnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(The Atlantic)
 
 
 
Researchers map out the 7 deadly sins to find out where vice and geography overlap. Guess what part of America has the most Lust. Go ahead, guess
source: andrewsullivan.theatlantic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
What a socialist state with high taxes actually looks like. Or, in other words, here's an article about Finland
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(339)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. We have the capability to build the world's first bionic rock
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Variety)
 
 
 
Caption this happy House
source: weblogs.variety.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Post Star)
 
 
 
Having solved all other problems, Senator Chuck Schumer wants IHOP to serve New York maple syrup at all of their in-state restaurants
source: poststar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
"A small but growing number of churches around the country are encouraging people to integrate text-messaging into their relationship with God."
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Breath-test ruling jeopardizes thousands of state DWI cases
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(199)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Sexual abstinence : ridiculous :: Waiting until your wedding day for your first kiss : the tag
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(391)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
If this story was even vaguely true it would be a lot longer
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(TNP.sg)
 
 
 
Notorious bullies caned for taunting another boy for his 'girly voice' at popular Singapore school. "Public caning is for educative purposes," said principal
source: tnp.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Eleven pirates unfamiliar with history surrender to French
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Will someone please remind the police that those things cameramen carry can actually record the asshattery to enrage the public later?
source: kvia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(OC Registre)
 
 
 
If you use the word "professional" in a Craigslist ad, you're a racist
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Mother kicked out of neighborhood playgroup because other moms found out she is a stripper. Subby offers his condolences and extends an offer to join his playgroup, among other things
source: cincinnati.momslikeme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
College makes students unplug, sit down, and eat like human beings
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Whitehouse.gov)
 
 
 
Photoshop President Obama learning how to properly use a paddle
source: whitehouse.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Every night, the world air guitar champion transforms into his rock persona, "Hott Lixx," and does air guitar in his 'air guitar workout room,' which hermetically seals his virginity forever
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Nanny state stops six-year-old using pebbles to build a dam in a two-inch deep stream because of the 'flood risk'
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Ever wonder who so many Somalis have taken to piracy? Because it makes economic sense. Here comes the science
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
The coolest cars you've never heard of. No, you can't have one. Not yours
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
On top of everything else, now there could be a beer bottle shortage
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Real-life treasure hunt underway in Columbia for drug baron Pablo Escobar's buried millions
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Health experts say the "worried well" are overburdening many hospitals with imagined symptoms. MSM apologizes for furthering panic in 3... 3... 3... 3
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
U.S. poet lost / On a haiku in Japan / Sought by police prose
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"Man killed by fighting dogs" Well, maybe if he hadn't been fighting the dogs in the first place... silly English
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Pregnant cougar escapes. She's declawed, if you're into that sort of thing
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Wisconsin State Journal)
 
 
 
Not News: 140 arrested at annual 5-hour-long block party near UW-Madison. News: Crowd called "calm and well behaved". Fark: Arrests were down from 440 last year
source: madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Hamid Karzai could be re-elected president of Afghanistan merely because his opposition remains divided and is in disarray. Oh, and he has US Army standing behind him
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
The. Weirdest. Thing. Ever
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
This may end up being either the coolest coffee table book ever, or exhibit A in your trial... or both
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Italian Prime Minister Berlusconi's wife: He may be more more popular then Obama and second only to Napoleon, but he also "consorts with minors" and I want a divorce
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Two unemployed homeless men try the veal, will be jailed here all week
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Avalanche kills 6 in Austria. First the bush fires, then the floods, then this - is the place cursed?
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Not news: Cowboy pulled over for drinking and driving. Fark: On his horse at a strip mall
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Italy's Prime Minister Berlusconi: "I'm more popular than Obama and second only to Napoleon"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Soldier who lost the use of his legs makes it to the halfway point of the London Marathon --- a week after it ended
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this virtual victim
source: s3.amazonaws.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Columbus Ledger-Enquirer)
 
 
 
Bronze Star w/ 'V' device winner Joe Galloway unloads on Obama, Pelosi, Bush, Cheney and everyone unwilling to address torture with the same vigor he did to the NVA in the Ia Drang Valley November, 1965
source: ledger-enquirer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(525)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're planning on breaking into a place, maybe you shouldn't do it on a rainy night when the roof is slick
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(8)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Life imitates art as reporters go on "Panda Watch." Hopefully followed by an anchorman melee which involves a hand grenade and a trident stabbing
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
Google's new lawn maintenance crew bleats mowing
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
The dog that chewed off two of his own feet to escape trap is back up and running around. He told you he was hardcore, and he wants his steak now
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Swine flu tragically kills 'air kisses' between rich NYC socialites
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 


Sat May 02, 2009
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Jack Kemp, former NFL player, Congressman, VP candidate, and one of many illegitimate sons of Shawn Kemp, dead at 73
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(The Dispatch)
 
 
 
North Carolina students dine on Bojangles chicken & Krispy Kreme in a class on Tarheel cuisine; "I never heard of liver pudding or Cheerwine before". They sound fat
source: the-dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Floridian's futile flailings
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
Parents buy their 8-year old son a new cell phone and the first call he makes is a prank 9-1-1 call telling the operator his dad shot his mom and set her on fire. Police take the phone away as "evidence."
source: chicoer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's woman with everything but the kitchen sink stuffed in her vagina comes to you from Louisville, KY, and the KY was probably useful (With you'd hit it like a pinata pic)
source: whas11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
Eating a vulture won't clear a bad case of syphilis
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Prom limo driver unclear on the concept: the limo is for the kids to do the drinking, not the driver
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(France24)
 
 
 
Being albino in Africa sucks, especially the part where your magical body parts can bring wealth, good luck
source: observers.france24.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(239)
 
(Hot Air)
 
 
 
It's not just veterans, pro-lifers any more. If you wear Doc Martens, join Peta, question giving drivers licenses to illegal aliens you, too, may be a dangerous "extremist"
source: hotair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(250)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Nearly one third of Georgia Republicans favor secession from the United States. No, this is not a repeat from 1861
source: blogs.ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(443)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
If you are trying for a "Crime of Passion" defense after killing the man your girlfriend has been cheating with, don't stand up in court bragging how you are a swinger and have 17 girlfriend and that, yes, you murdered the man
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
After helping to create it, CNN derisively reports on "flu hysteria"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Once considered a sign of sloppy writing, exclamation points are now more common. Except in headlines submitted to a certain snarky news aggregator site
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Why legalizing marijuana makes sense. Suspiciously not mentioned: everything seems like a good idea when you're high
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Followup: 70-year old man who died saving two young boys from drowning was a lawyer. Hero tag seen muttering, pacing, scratching head
source: abajournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If photoshopping was real the world would be like this
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Hidden treasure
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Not News: TSA screener steals stuff from your baggage. News: Stuff was a gun and ammunition. Fark: You're NYPD
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Boston Channel)
 
 
 
Old and busted: pooping on beverage cart to divert plane. New hotness: showing "flu like symptoms"
source: thebostonchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Research finds that the African San people are the most ancient race. They are the direct relations of early modern humans.....and they want you to get the hell off their lawn
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Student yelled at in front of classmates by teacher for reading the "wrong" news on the Internet. It was on the Rush Limbaugh show, so it must be true
source: rushlimbaugh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(316)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: Craigslist ad asks people to take things sitting outside house. News: It was placed by neighbor. Fark: a police officer. Ultra Fark: Police department "doesn't know if a crime has been committed"
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some John)
 
 
 
More workers to be out on the streets as RI votes to ban indoor prostitution
source: projo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Year-long drug investigation on campus yields 21 arrests, 6.5 oz. of weed. That's some fine police work there, Lou
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Social workers charged in starvation death of a girl, because they never visited their clients. "At some point, they realized they could get paid for doing nothing"
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Handshakes banned after high school sports. Wash your damn hands
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Even with nearly four years to find a new place to live, thousands of Gulf Coast residents soon to be homeless as FEMA closes their "emergency" trailers. Can we still blame this on Bush?
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(244)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
The annual list of the "11 Most Endangered Historic Places" is out now, and no it's not a Facebook app
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
I've SEEEN the future. Do you know what it is? It's a 47-year-old virgin sitting around in his beige pajamas, drinking a banana-broccoli shake, singing "I'm an Oscar Meyer Wiener"
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
White House joins Facebook and Twitter. "Just sent 200 pizzas to Sarkozy. LOL. Man I'd love to have a 'summit' with his wife"
source: whitehouse.blogs.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Step 7 in the fearmongering media checklist: admitting things weren't really as bad as made out originally. Swine flu virus less potent than first feared
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(ProJo)
 
 
 
"Smart" girl crosses busy intersection looking at cell phone, listening to iPod, with hood over head
source: projo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Somali pirates seize ship containing 35,000 tons of soya, so there's at least one group of people listening to PETA
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Lawn mower saves man's life from a hand grenade. "Timmy, mow the lawn, unless you want to lose a leg"
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man agrees to settle $100 debt with another by letting him have sex with his girlfriend, doesn't bother to clear the new payment plan with her
source: insidebayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(WTVF-TV)
 
 
 
Nashville defense attorneys volunteer to fill in for absent judges. Then, when judges aren't looking, they dismiss boatloads of speeding tickets. Ahhh, justice
source: newschannel5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(The Chattanooga Pulse)
 
 
 
PETA offers to spend six grand to fix potholes in city... if they can spraypaint "KFC Tortures Animals" on the repaired surface. Surprisingly, the city has a problem with this
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(OC Register)
 
 
 
Teacher found to have violated First Amendment by calling creationism "religious, superstitious nonsense". That would be the "free exercise of religion" bit, not the "free speech" bit
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(620)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Class action lawsuit alleges 2000 women have had their breasts infected by defective bras from Victoria's Secret. It's a booby trap
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Feline felon Henry steals dozens of socks from neighbourhood clotheslines. Crime detected after evidence found by cat's MILFy owner, who will return them on Caturday
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(341)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Search continues for blind hiker who has been missing for 7 days and 14 nights
source: newsadvance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flu-fearing flier
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Some Changelette)
 
 
 
Surprisingly enough, agreeing to switch places with your sister-in-law in the hospital so you can assume her identity is not a recommended method of adopting a newborn
source: kfoxtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Sorority girls hospitalized after sustaining chemical burns while slip-and-sliding on laundry detergent at a fraternity fundraiser for the D.C. Firefighter's Burn Association
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(The Olympian)
 
 
 
Flight ends up in the toilet
source: theolympian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(PNW Local News)
 
 
 
Economy is so bad that man's teenage daughter only sells for $2,000
source: pnwlocalnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
For a minimal fee, new coin-operated tanning booths can give you that hip fire-red skin tone in just 16 minutes
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
*tap tap* *tap tap tap* *tap tap* Whiff...Whiff...AAAAAAAA
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this suspended sculpture section
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Since the swine flu is starting to lose its luster, here's a story about how the Taliban is going to nuke us all. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(US News and World Report)
 
 
 
Atheism will never get anywhere unless it forms its own "church of atheism"
source: usnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(581)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Miley Cyrus vows to wait until marriage to have sex. Just like Britney Spears, Lindsey Lohan, and Vanessa Hudgens
source: aceshowbiz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 


Fri May 01, 2009
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
"All you do is lie. I wish you died when you fell off the roof." Psycho ex-boyfriend? Nope, message from the debt collector
source: tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Driver attempts to go through an alley, but hits a fence, followed by a utility pole, a garage, two more fences, a house, and a second garage causing $26,000 in damage. Vagina may have been a factor
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Woman charged with trying to bite flight crew after downing prescription drugs, two bottles of wine and a container of hand soap
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass meerkat pups born at London Zoo, including one with two heads
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fat tourists accused of animal cruelty by taking donkey rides while on vacation
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(WGAL 8)
 
 
 
Car dealer says people won't take jobs because they'd rather get unemployment. "We offered him a job here. He turned it down and said he'd rather stay on unemployment. To me that's an abuse of the system"
source: wgal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(395)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
13-year old student sent home for wearing surgical mask to school. "Students and faculty became worried that the student was infected with the virus"
source: covnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady))
 
 
 
Army medic home from Iraq starts his leave by becoming father, husband in span of 48 hours. Expected to return to Iraq in two weeks for much needed rest
source: dailygazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
This week's TSG mugshot roundup. You just can't mask the excitement
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Judge orders a confessed killer to go free, but the killer wants to remain in jail. It must be opposite day in Florida
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Remember when we were married and I went out and got drunk then came home and had my way with you?" "Yeah, that was good. Remember when I cut off your penis?" Ahh, good times
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
City of Harrisburg, Pennsylvania passes gun law requiring owners to register their guns or be fined up to $1,000 per day per gun. NRA too busy protesting Obama to get involved
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(530)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Michael Vick in talks to become PETA spokesman. Wait... WHAT?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these big bonk barrels
source: i42.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Final Reminder: NYC Fark Party TONIGHT. Drew will be there; DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man sleep drives to lake, then sleep walks into lake, then sleep drowned, or at least that is what his wife is claiming
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
San Francisco Fark BBQ Saturday, May 16th at Dolores Park
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
St. Paul, Minn. elementary school to be renamed "Barack and Michelle Obama Service Learning Elementary"
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(288)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
You know the media frenzy over swine flu is ending when Fox News goes back to missing cute white girls as their featured story
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(252)
 
(Fark)
 
VideoEdit
 
Create your own fake UFO video. Difficulty: A year from now, someone from AboveTopSecret will link to it with message "OMG, this is totally REAL"
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If someone claiming to be a census worker asks if you'd like a back rub and what color your panties are, he's probably not a real census worker. "On several occasions, he touched himself."
source: kctv5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Caption Drew saying something profound at the Sports Center desk
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you stole every single sign from Winfield, PA, the police would like a word with you
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(KMOV St. Louis)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Phantom pooper targets local car dealerships
source: kmov.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Add Maine to the list of states wanting to destroy the sanctity of marriage
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(646)
 
(WDBO)
 
 
 
Popular Orlando DJ arrested after he shoots his dog, bullet goes through dog's leg and hits wife in head
source: wdbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
University: "We need to add $8 per credit hour to save the athletic program." Students: "Don't let the door hit your ass on the way out"
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(351)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Youtube video helps man deliver baby, commenters most likely tell him to shove it back in
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Computers are breeding a new generation of dumbasses with no handwriting skills
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(289)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Boston to city employees: Wait, were we supposed to pay you yesterday?
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Germans use giant picture of Angela Merkel in her underwear to sell new cars, eyebleach
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Pentagon using Facebook and Twitter to recruit new employees, because if there's one thing the military needs it's someone who posts every minute detail of their life on the web
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Some Catholics want residential school student and employee who died in 1949 elevated to sainthood because her body decomposed slowly
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Virgin Mary appears on a Mexican griddle. With "OMG it's true" picture that will have skeptics waffling on the topic
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Newly discovered documents show that FDR worked secretly to get jews to safety during the holocaust
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(312)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Jack the Ripper was a forgery invented by journalists desperate to sell their newspaper. Thank goodness in the 21st century no self-repecting journalist would think of selling polished turds as news
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
School bus takes wrong turn and ends up at porn shop...As expected the, "I was in there quite a long time because I was Googling directions" excuse has people all hot and bothered
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
FDA suggests people stop taking Hydroxycut, start eating less and moving their fat ass
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(275)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
It's time again for Friday photo fun from our pals at TSG. Name the famous criminal that used the pictured blanket Contest ends at 4pm Eastern
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Couple races into marriage, not realizing what a drag it will be
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Brighton Evening Argus)
 
 
 
Man with no ears has sight restored. WAIT WUT?
source: theargus.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Polly wants you to bugger off
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Former state employee: "David Paterson fired me because I am white." Paterson: "I don't see race. Literally"
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(381)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Swine flu pandemic prompts Pennsylvania college to hold graduation ceremonies twice: Once for students who visited Mexico in the past year, and once for everyone else
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Remains of legendary wanderer found in Utah 75 years after his disappearance
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Some Nurse)
 
 
 
After performing CPR on a fallen coach and saving his life, nurse collapses and dies
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(CI Proud)
 
 
 
Duct tape can be used to fix almost everything, but that doesn't mean it should be used to fix the loud kids on your bus
source: centralillinoisproud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Along with its new name, Sears Tower will be adding glass 'skydecks' that will let people walk over Chicago (w/ artist's rendering)
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Saturday is "free comic book day" at 2000 comic stores across the U.S
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(217)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this splayed stretcher
source: stratfordmowandns.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Grand Junction Sentinel)
 
 
 
Colorado HS seniors pull the ultimate sneak, dissasemble a car, then weld it back together around the flagpole, without touching the pole itself. No damage, no crime. Chief Wiggums starts questioning the kids in pre-law
source: gjsentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(244)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
... so here's some pictures of showjumping rabbits
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Because there's nothing else going on in the world at the moment, here's some hard hitting reporting about how Prince Harry hasn't washed his hair for two years
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Michael Shreffler from Redding, CA is the third fastest tire changer in the US. In other news, there is a competition for tire changing
source: redding.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(WBRZ)
 
 
 
Veteran cop smashes truck into trees and flips into yard of homeowner, spilling "full and empty beer bottles" everywhere, proceeds to convince young responding officer into not giving him a ticket or a breathalyzer. The Aristocrats
source: 2theadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man gets 24 days in jail and a lifetime ban from the United Arab Emirates for giving the finger to another driver. "I just wanted to get home and there was a clown in front of me"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
NASA scraps plans to crash on Moon, plans instead to crash on Mars
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British forces' stay in Iraq declared officially over as of 12.15pm yesterday. As they say over there: Mission Accoumplished
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Come for the story of bungled condom theft, stay for the epic doofus perp photo
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man sleeping with gun suffers from premature discharge
source: tuscaloosanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists confirm that 14 species of parrot and one species of elephant can dance. Dogs, cats, and chimpanzees appear to have no sense of rhythm. Still no cure for H1N1
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Some McLovin)
 
 
 
Police see reduction in illegal street racing with "Beat the Heat" program where police officers race anyone over the age of 18 for $25
source: officer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(240)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Since it already has bar flies, lounge lizards, and cougars, Texas nightclub decides to add sharks under the dance floor
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 


Thu April 30, 2009
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
It's official: add 'Appoint Supreme Court Judge' to Obama's tasks
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(655)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this self-proclaimed chef
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
If you're going to take a bet to walk down the street naked be sure your winnings cover the fine you'll pay when caught
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Howard Franklin Bridge shut down during rush hour due to suspicious package. Fark: Device planted by Department of Transportation
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Officials announce that negative test results confirm there is no swine flu in Africa. Just AIDS. Lots and lots of AIDS
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Middletown Journal)
 
 
 
Third grader expelled from school for possessing list of students, teachers he wanted to kill. "We never believed for a second that people were truly in danger. But this sort of thing in this day and age, you just can't do that."
source: middletownjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
WHO changes name of 'swine flu' so you won't get fooled again and to make sure the kids are alright
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support torture, with white evangelical Protestants most likely to condone it. Jesus facepalms, glares disapprovingly through the little hole
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(649)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Oakland's Cinco De Mayo celebration canceled because of financial reasons, not because it would be a large group of Mexicans coming together and possibly spreading Swine Flu. Seriously, it was the finances
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
After finding her boyfriend drunk in parking lot, woman slams into his truck several times because she was afraid he would drive drunk. Bonus: she had her two children in the car with her
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Police searching for lobster bandit, hope to crack case, butter not optimistic
source: southflorida.sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In 1918, Gunnison, Colorado residents barricaded themselves inside the town and were very successful in avoiding pandemic flu. GUNS AND AMMO
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Adolf Hitler's family won't see any money from the sale of his paintings, since their past efforts raised a little furor
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
All heroin dealers should wear such nice grandmotherly blouses
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Now that crime, the economy, and the swine flu have all been taken care of, Connecticut lawmakers make it illegal for kids to use machine guns
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In an apparent bid to appease the swine-flu, the Department of Homeland Security is forbidding federal officials from wearing masks to protect against contracting the flu
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
There are better ways to stop your husband from gambling than by calling up the casino he's headed to and informing them he has a fertilizer bomb and he's going to blow the place up
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you're a school bus driver, you should not let a strange man onto the bus so he can smack a kid who gave him the finger. "Remember my name now: It's Josh Beaver"
source: wvgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Twelve killed at Azerbaijan State Oil Academy by gunman, nuclear scientist Denise Richards sent to the scene
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(10news)
 
 
 
Cranky neighbours file court papers against 4-year-old, wanting to restrict him to his home and driveway for fear he "might come out with a firearm at anytime"
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(192)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Oh God, It's a Whole Chicken in a Can
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(302)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this free fall
source: news.xinhuanet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
REMINDER: Minnesota Farkers to rickroll Metrodome, Minneapolis THIS SATURDAY. DIT
source: minnesota.twins.mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
Why Swine Flu Isn't Going to Kill Us All, Part II
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(486)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
In a bid to develop a better awareness and understanding of disabled people, primary school encourages students to go full retard with prizes for best dressed
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Protip: When trying to avoid jury duty, don't tell a judge about your dog's wrinkly balls
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
If you mock hipsters, you're a hipster
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(478)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"The X-rays confirmed there was a foreign body but it was a big surprise to discover a plastic egg shell with Homer Simpson inside. We see many objects that have been swallowed but this has to be one of the most unusual" (pic)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Asian high school student fights back against a racist bully, gets suspended and could be expelled. This inspires 400 other students to protest his suspension and stand-up against racism
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(850)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
BMI airlines computer glitch wipes Israel off map and shows all Israel bound flights heading to Mecca. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
If you're going to the courthouse, where you'll have to empty your pockets, might be a good idea to leave the marijuana pipe at home -- just sayin'
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Swedish woman spends $57,000 to find out she hasn't won the lottery. With very illustrative picture
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
See a bad driver? Instead of flipping him off, Twitter about it immediately and become a bad driver yourself
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Researchers say eating fatty foods may boost your memory. So you are better able to remember a distant time when you were skinny
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Statesman Journal)
 
 
 
Bird knocks out power to West Salem after committing a minor terrorist act with a fish
source: statesmanjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Hello mudder, go no farther. Stay off the roads, 'til they get harder. There's no use in, your complaining. You can hit them again once it stops raining
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British nurse told that she's too fat to move to New Zealand, possibly because they're worried about the Island tipping over
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(257)
 
(MosNews)
 
 
 
Russian police are looking for the brother and sister who ran away from home and got married after learning that they were not relatives by blood. Article has helpful picture of what a boy banging his sister might act like(possible NSFW pic)
source: mosnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Las Vegas sex clubs are illegal, but officials look the other way because of the money they generate; "People want to come here to see 'what happens in Vegas' and if nothing happens, nobody's coming"
source: klas-tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
They bring a knife, you bring a gun. You bring a gun, they bring a....donkey?
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Police question Octomom after son shows up at school with a black eye & bite marks. That'll teach him to stop bad-mouthing Angelina
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(202)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Queens Day in Holland interrupted by a car plowing through the crowds trying to ram the Queens bus, hits 14+ people and a monument instead. How do you miss a bus?
source: radionetherlands.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop these options
source: thesituationist.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman steps out of her apartment at The Aristocrats housing complex and confronts two kids ages 10 & 2, pulls down her skirt and starts touching herself while yelling vulgar things about her body parts
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit Tamiflu
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Bit by bit, woman steals pieces of gold from jewelry store where she works. Final take: 500 lbs (valued at $7,200,000)
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
1800: Red squirrels almost extinct in Scottish Highlands. 1844: Red squirrels reintroduced and protected. 1903: Red squirrels hunted as pests. 1946: Red squirrels almost extinct. 2009: Red squirrels protected
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Building collapses in lower Manhattan. Searchers on scene looking for survivors, thermite
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British couple arrested for having sex on the the Queen's lawn, while a group of Japanese tourists stood around filming them
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
'I'm not saying Susan Boyle caused swine flu. I'm just saying that nobody had swine flu, she sang on TV, people got swine flu.'
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Funeral director to appeal sanctions with simple defense: Who hasn't had state inspectors find embalmed corpse rotting for three months in their workshop?
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
I read the news today, oh boy. One giant hole in Didsbury, Yorkshire
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
18-year-old jumps off casino ship on $15 dare, which won't even be enough to buy a new pair of jorts
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Inmate can't change his name to "Sinner Lawrence Bilskirnir," risking the wrath of his High God Thor
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You know it's a quiet news day when 'Exhaustion Blamed For Fish Death' is your newspaper's lead story
source: herald24.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
"Girl Beats Off Muggers with Marching Band Baton" And I thought band girls only liked to blow
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pensioner's hair clippings collected by local birds and used for nests: "I am going a bit thin on top but there's still some left to help the birds out." Nicolas Cage believes this argument is invalid (with pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Annoying little know-it-all brat becomes the youngest member of Mensa at 2-year-old, with an estimated IQ of 156. Submitter had to google "Mensa" to know what it means
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(300)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
89-year-old bedridden war veteran found with bloody ears, hands, face and neck after being "severely chewed" by swarming mice
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man carries girl with her intestines hanging out for four days from jungles of PNG, down crocodile-infested rivers, across the sea to safety
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this old lady giving a thumb's up
source: mm04.nasaimages.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 208: Farkstronomy. Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 


Wed April 29, 2009
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman with poor sense of urgency claims father was the Zodiac Killer
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Barbie turns 50, and some people are not amused that Mattel has released a model that comes with the same sort of tired tattoos that over-the-hill women get in failing attempt to prove they're still interesting and sexy
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Fort Worth, Texas Independent School District shuts down all schools until at least May 8th due to Swine Flu concerns
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(Talking Points Memo)
 
 
 
Senator Inhofe (alternate R-eality): Specter switch is "First Visible Evidence" of GOP comeback
source: tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(581)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Car Flu kills at least 41 in Baghdad
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This fine residents of 1960s Washington, DC apparently installed a civil defense warning system with a deafening siren and forgot about it. Current residents found out about it today at 5:30am, the hard way. Bonus: no one knew how to turn it off
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tip: don't put the ZIP code into the "amount" field when making a $100 donation. And don't expect the charity to return your money, either
source: sanluisobispo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
After flying around the world with TB, Dickwad decides suing the CDC is appropriate
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
In this day and age, it's sad to see that white sand activists are still protesting the integration of brown sand on their beaches
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(WKSR)
 
 
 
Truckload of bananas spills on interstate. That's bananas. B-A-N-A-N-A-S
source: wksr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
♫He likes two butts and he cannot lie, ♫ You other farmers can't deny ♫ That when a hen walks in and lays two eggs with some round things in your face ♫
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
McCurry's wins suit against McDonald's. McDowell's unavailable for comment at this time
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(MSNBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
WHO raises alert level to 5. One more level until we unlock the bonus round
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(648)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Kenyan women vow to go on a sex strike to keep the men from fighting. "We have seen that sex is the answer"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(243)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
NH Senate passes bill legalizing same sex marriage, banning bromance
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(669)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: If history was written by the losers
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Swine flu reaches Maine; state is thrilled to be relevant for thirty seconds and then returns to chasing moose
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Job opening requires new employee to drink wine, learn and talk about wine, eat good food, live rent free in Northern California, and play the occasional game of poker with a laid-back staff. Pays $10,000 a month. Cheers
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Swedish court rules that the Church of Orgasm is offensive. Oh God
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Fark.com would like to welcome the chief of police arrested for indecent exposure while having gay sex in a parking lot. Apparently it was his wife's fault because she has the cancer
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Canada, embarrassed that its only contributions to cuisine are poutine and some weird kind of bacon, has proudly unveiled its latest culinary gift to the world: Ketchup Cake (with surprisingly tasty-looking pic)
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Not news: Russian hijackers steal SUV in St Petersburg. Fark: For the rare $130k leopard in the back
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some Flay)
 
 
 
Bobby Flay and Food Network list the best burgers in the 50 states. Reasons why your local burger is better found to the right
source: foodnetwork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(789)
 
(Brownsville Herald)
 
 
 
The first U.S. Swine Flu death brought to you by...Oh, he was an illegal Mexican? Nevermind
source: brownsvilleherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(287)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Worst.Pirates.Ever
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(311)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Drug mule takes three weeks to pass 76 bags of cocaine worth $100,000. Suspect claims he's getting a bum rap; "We didn't need any more evidence - he was pooping dope, so we were good to go"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man arrested after drinking blackberry wine while driving around grocery store in electric cart: "What are you going to do? Call the cops?"
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(KXII)
 
 
 
Man tries to kill grandmother because he's "tired of waiting for her to die naturally." Includes mugshot goodness
source: kxii.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
It's always a bit unnerving when you're naked at a tanning salon and notice a bald man peering over a wall, staring at you from a corner
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Autistic kid, 13, does impossible: Finds parking space, gets on flight with no cash, no id
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"There's definitely a tie between the rise in text messaging and the rise in questionable license plate requests coming in with creative use of letters" (with a handy list of what not to ask for)
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
WHO: Oops, did we say 152 swine flu deaths so far? Sorry, we meant 7
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(225)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
North Korea threatens more nuclear and missile tests unless the UN apologizes for criticizing its recent missile test. What, is the entire country run by 12-year-old girls?
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
FEMA decides including a cartoon image of the 9/11 WTC attack in their coloring book for kids not such a great idea after all
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Residents of Pantyffynon have their Pantyffynons in a knot after crime wave by "Wolfman" who lives in hole in the ground and survives on diet of rabbits and berrier
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
How to save on gas: Family of eight "cheerfully pile on to one motorcycle" to commute everyday (with is that a baby hanging in the back? pics)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Radio Shack now offering free punches (*with qualifying two year Sprint agreement)
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(NBC30)
 
 
 
Rest safe people of Connecticut...81 dangerous sex offenders are equipped with GPS monitoring bracelets. Just kidding...they barely work, and when they do, it takes an average of 15 to 20 minutes for police to respond to any GPS alert
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Former teacher of the year cleared of drug charges after two Xanax pills found in her car after DA admits zero tolerance policy is kinda draconian. Just kidding - she had to pass a urinalysis, a polygraph and a hair analysis test first
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(Valley Post)
 
 
 
Dog saves family from deadly flue outbreak
source: andersonvalleypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Australia to send 450 more troops to Afghanistan, apparently to teach the locals how to play football without a helmet
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
17-year old was in Children's Hospital because they thought she had cancer. She didn't, but being there inspired her to raise over $10,000 for families of children with cancer
source: ksdk.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If a tree falls in the woods and doesn't make a sound you might want to sue your father-in-law
source: pittsburghlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(CBS4Boston.com)
 
 
 
Today's non-swine flu related media fearmongering story: "Glass furniture could kill your children"
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pumped up palm
source: fullertonhalloween.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Health officials don't think 'swine flu' is a good name for the current pandemic are are looking for a different name. How about the name 'General Motors'? It should be available soon
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Two airline passengers with "swine flu" are in fact severely infected with intoxication
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(CBC)
 
NewsFlash
 
The US death toll from the 2009 Swine Flu outbreak has now matched the US death toll from the 1976 Swine Flu outbreak. EVERYBODY H1N1C
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(396)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
If there is an open warrant for your arrest, asking a cop for a ride may not be the smartest thing you can do
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
The church loves everybody... Unless you have the swine flu, then you should stay your ass at home
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Construction workers working near the former Auschwitz-Birkenau death camp uncover message in a bottle containing inmate names, numbers, and home towns. The BBC located one inmate who is still alive today
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Dopey cannabis growers get busted by their own smoke alarm
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Scores of Florida residents attend a community forum about the proper ways to deal with wild iguanas. "Whack them in the head, stun them and then decapitate them. Whack them in the head more than once and it's animal cruelty."
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Swine flu death toll: 150. Regular flu death toll: 13,000. But don't let that stop the fearmongering panic
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Government cuts speed limit in half and hides speed camera behind sign to catch drivers who don't brake hard enough coming down steep hill
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: Hooker named Indoor Athlete of the Year
source: news.smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
To avoid any surprises by visitors, the Dutch have posted signs in an Amsterdam park pointing out where gay men are having sex
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this strangely styled stairway stance
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Man who may or may not be Sam Kinison robs a bank, apparently to support a cheeseburger habit
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ten-year-old girls are obsessed with weight and fashion and their parents are too wimpy to act like parents. With pictures that will make you feel like you should have a seat over there
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(419)
 


Tue April 28, 2009
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Flirting with other women in front of your wife? That's worth about two bites
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
City decides they cannot afford Christmas lights this year. The War on Christmas ™ gets earlier and earlier every year
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Rats "big enough to put saddles on" are running amok in Boston, terrifying residents who blame Harvard for unleashing the vermins: "It was a foot long. I freaked out"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Toyota dealership in Florida now offering low financing and a free alligator when you purchase a new vehicle
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Fat, drunk, and leading police on a 57 mile chase in a garbage truck is no way to go through life, son
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Balding men "need more emotional support", beer
source: theherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Mother is OUTRAGED that her snowflake was suspended for making slingshots out of pencils and rubber bands. "(He) came home and cried for three hours on the couch because he was suspended. That was torment enough for him"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(269)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman says intense heat radiating off her neighbor's window is melting her home. "It's like a 100-degree laser beam"
source: postandcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
'Many hundreds' of kids may have swine flu, says New York City Health Commissioner. He also went on to yell "Fire" during this afternoon's matinee of Spam-a-lot
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Judge denies sub shop liquor license because he doesn't like the drug names they give to sandwiches on the menu, or their motto "The only thing fried is the occasional customer"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games at the convenience store until a clerk cracks a joke about a customer's mom. "How would you like it if I said something about your mother?"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(News Times)
 
 
 
WWJD? Probably not sunbathe naked on a public beach
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Swine flu "patient zero" now has a face. Awwwwww
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you've always wanted an authentic Chicago Bulls' championship ring from the early '90s and are willing to pay in cash, Randy Brown would like a word with you
source: send2press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Funny Or Die)
 
 
 
Breast milk: "Its the most amazing food in the world. I wish they'd make cheese out of it."
source: funnyordie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Photoshop this yoga granny
source: i.dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Arkansas man arrested on suspicion of impairing the operation of a vital public facility and for criminal mischief, or "shootin' that water reservoir thing-a-ma-jig wit' ma .308"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
How many people does it take to change every light bulb in Grand Central Terminal? Six, it turns out. And it's a full-time job
source: cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
BBC chooses "sexting, brokeback, Mobama and microblogging" as examples of words kids should know if they're not victims of "word poverty." Oh the, like, humanity
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
♬ I am the very model of a modern octo-major general ♬
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Worst. Tattoos. Ever
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(721)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Fewer Americans are adopting Chinese children, mainly because they'll just want to adopt again 30 minutes later
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Yankee Ho-Tep
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Solar powered car tour comes to New Orleans. Support van broken into one hour after arrival. Inventor now looking into solar powered security system
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 
(Local10 WPLG)
 
 
 
If you own beachfront property in Florida, please turn your lights off at night so the sea turtles can fark
source: justnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The Supreme Court is tired of those monkey fighting expletives on Monday to Friday television
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(Post Star)
 
 
 
Female basketball coach busted for showing teenage boy how to take it to the hole
source: poststar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Tennessee hotel wins "Best Bathroom in America " award and are, understandably, flush with pride
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Man with broom asks woman if she's ready to die. Police eventually get a handle on him and whisk him away, but not until after he kicks a deputy in the balls
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Attack with a barbeque fork leads to arrest, according to reliable sauces
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The flowers were beautiful, the bride was radiant in white, but to be perfectly honest the best man was a bit of a bear
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Idiot American travel writers steer U.S. tourists to one of Britain's most dangerous neighborhoods after praising its "edgy charm", which is like gushing about Detroit's "post-industrial ambiance"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Baby Boomers complain that they are being hit hardest by the economic crisis. Some are being forced to actually have a job, while others face the agonizing decision to sell their second homes just to get by
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(418)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Try to take a package from the delivery man before he is ready to give it to you? Yup, that's a lawsuit
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Upset with attempts by republican senators to get a Jesus license plate, black Florida Senator comes up with his own "Can a Brotha Get a Break" plate
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Boston Channel)
 
 
 
Boston's finest once again demonstrate that they have absolutely no idea what a bomb might actually look like
source: thebostonchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this A-10 gun loading machine
source: af.mil   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
Man dresses up in superhero costume, joins nationwide legion of crime fighters. Mothers' basements proclaimed crime-free
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Mr. T pities the fool who didn't select him for jury duty
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Buddhist preacher issues etiquette guide for gay monks. What is the sound of one hand reaching around?
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
Since that Air Force One photo op thing went so well in New York City yesterday, the White House is thinking of doing the same thing in Washington D.C. next week
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(293)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
IRS: "You're being audited, and just for fun here's a fake phone number if you try to call us"
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Police arrest a man, who they thought was a woman, for stealing 22 bottles of perfume. Then it gets stinkier
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Mother proud to be feeding her kids McDonalds at 6 months of age. Eye bleach required as expected before reading article
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(837)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Tennessee to charge state employees who smoke $600 extra for health insurance. Fried chicken, biscuits and gravy still free
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(185)
 
(Some Con)
 
 
 
Like you needed any more excuses to NEVER take the bus: Bureau of Prisons allows Federal convicts to travel unescorted from prison to prison on Greyhound and other carriers
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Brown Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Man attempts to gently tuck his car into a parking space in front of police substation, inadvertently re-creates scene from The Terminator
source: browndailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
"But the robot suddenly came to life and grabbed a tight hold of the victim's head." This is not a repeat from 2029
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Disease arrives in Middle East. Disease spotted in Asia. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(284)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Next up, on You're Doing It Wrong: Man cuts off finger to protest overdue wages ... and then eats it
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
A junior mayoral aide who had been alerted to the military flyover was reprimanded for not apprising the mayor, and a disciplinary letter was placed in his file for causing NYC to PANIC yesterday. Well, now all is good
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Please note that "posting a facebook photo of you fondling another woman's boobs" doesn't feature on most wedding planning arrangements (mildly Not safe for work pic)
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(287)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Lawyer falls down manhole during crime scene visit. He feels a little drained, but expects to soon be flush with success
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
All aboard the nostalgia train: Here's a list of the 35 best children's books (as named by British children's book authors)
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(The Ledger)
 
 
 
Cop resigns after his wife and mother-in-law take his patrol car for a joyride. There was much blondness
source: theledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Neighbor vs neighbor Florida style
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
IRS files charges against vomit-inducing stinky criminal. Odor in the court
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Lady breaks into home while a man and woman and another man were having sex, steals two cell phones and $1,200. That's not how it happens on Cinemax
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
I find your lack of faith distur.... wait, that's normal?
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(743)
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Marines are assisting young men safely through rite of passage commonly known as circumcision. Because, if it's one thing Marines know, is being the tip of the sword
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
"Deluded Hot-Chick Syndrome" can now be traced to 'Craigslist Killer' fiance Megan McAllister. "He's still hot to ME, dammit"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Before building in Iceland you have to hire an expert to ensure you don't disturb the elf-like 'little people' who live under the ice
source: ydr.inyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Gateway trio
source: silvanuslodge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Surgical masks won't protect you against swine flu, help you keep your dignity
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Literary cat is literary
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
It was just a matter of time until the first Maersk Alabama sailor sued. That time is now
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(193)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Don't you hate going for a brain operation and waking up drunk and singing in a thick Irish accent?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Schools closing early because of the heat? In Pennsylvania in April? It's more asinine than you think
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
"Waterford Township Winds Blow Chihuahua Away." I say we hoist a cold one to the Waterford Township Winds
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When finally stopped by police after a chase with a 0.134 BAC, you may not want to tell deputies it was the most fun you'd had in two years
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
19-year old mom teaches her 3-year old son the fine art of shoplifting underwear
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 


Mon April 27, 2009
(WFLX)
 
 
 
"Forgive me Father, for I am about to sin." Woman gets all stabby on priest in confessional
source: wflxfox29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
King Arthur evicted from Stonehenge. This is not a repeat from 518 AD
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this morning Woodward
source: cityofwoodward.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Today's "pilot showing up for work drunk" story comes to us from Air Canada via London, with stops at local jail and Fark.com
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
WWII-era Vatican documents reveal that Pope Pius XII had contingency plan to move the Vatican to neutral Portugal and automatically abdicate as Pope should he be captured by the Nazis. Joint Catholic Church/Nazism flamewar to the right
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Man shot in the chest while carrying a confederate flag down main street. This is not a repeat from 1862
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(386)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Restaurants are trying to make ends meet in these tough times by charging customers for things like bread, butter, and filtered tap water. "The money funds the filtration"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Survivorman? Pffft. Meet Survivorbaby
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Pakistani president at international press conference: bin Laden is probably dead. But maybe not, We have no idea. On second thought, I probably could have told you that over the phone
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
MTA officials SHOCKED that a 23% fare hike would lead to a decrease in riders, may have to raise fares again to fix problem
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Surgeon removes "mass" from woman's foot and toothpick that had been there for 12 years "literally just slid out."
source: cbs4denver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
The WHO raises pandemic alert. Yeeeeeeaaaaaahhhhhhhh
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(398)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Man paints his face differently every day for a year. Warning: Can not be unseen
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
US to lead the way on fighting swine flu. But hold up a second until Obama appoints 20 top people in HHS, a Surgeon General, and the head of the CDC, and gets his FDA appointee confirmed
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Failing kids, and giving them zeros for not doing homework are out, because you know that in the real world, there are no consequences
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(377)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Wonderful, magical animal products now cheaper thanks to Swine Flu. Mmmmm, silver lining
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
U.S. set to issue travel warning to Mexico. Message: It's Mexico
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(WJZ.com)
 
 
 
Your state has no cases of the swine flu, what do you do? Open a command center
source: wjz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
For no reason in particular, Verizon COO calls press conference to announce that they are not in imminent danger of filing for bankruptcy, everything is fine, and there's nothing to see here
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In today's episode of well duh: Social media twits are spreading misinformation on swine flu
source: neteffect.foreignpolicy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(WBNS)
 
 
 
Local TV news 'crime of the week' segment pays off bigtime as stolen puppy is rescued. And now, dancing pandas
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
UAW agrees to 'painful' concessions to save Chrysler. No word if this includes giving up the golf courses for the union heads, or only the carts
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(293)
 
(Kitsap Sun)
 
 
 
Kitsap Sun discovers hilarious online cat videos. 'You hear a voice on the video ask, "Have you ever seen a cat do this?" I want to tell the woman there are dozens of videos like that on YouTube'
source: pugetsoundblogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(1010WINS)
 
 
 
NY MTA cancels special train to Belmont Racetrack. If only there were another means of transportation to see the horses run around in a circle
source: 1010wins.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
Why we're not all going to die from Mexican Flu, by Drew Curtis age 7. Bonus: Headlines of the Week 4/19 to 4/25
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Bush administration: Hey, let's get rid of all these difficult rules that hamstring corporations. Obama administration: Hey, let's get rid of all these difficult rules that hamstring unions. American public: Facepalm
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook