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Sun March 29, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Pajamas Media)
 
 
 
PETA kills animals... to save money for advertising... to tell people not to kill animals. Sounds about right
source: pajamasmedia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(258)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
New study from the Institute of the Blindingly Obvious discovers that each person has their own optimal running pace. Still no cure for cancer
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
America has become "a nation of jailers" whose "prison system has grown into a leviathan unmatched in human history."
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: It's almost like having friends and people who care about you. Almost
 
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Les Folies Bergere, we hardly knew ye
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Four-year-olds know how to use the F-word to get what they want. Which thesedays is a scotch on the rocks, a mean set of wheels and an easy woman
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
The Small Violin Symphony warms up as Oklahoma City bomber Terry Nichols complains about his food in prison
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Some other guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this strobe demonstration
source: tsgphysics.mit.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Boy at Gas Station)
 
 
 
Tiny Tennessee town tries to trick travellers into topping off the tank in their magic land of canoe rentals and banjo music
source: herald-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Obama demands CEO of GM to resign. Geithner agrees to pay $162 million dollar severance package
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(749)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Tiger Woods
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Tenured Florida teachers can do anything they want and get away with it, like cussing out coworkers, propositioning teens behind Dumpster, and stealing $5.95 sandwiches. And that's just the males
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Story about Wall-Street workers turning to stripping was a lie... alas
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Some Smoking Man Guy)
 
 
 
Another sign of the bad economy: Cigarette taxes going up all over the country as a means of generating revenue. Thats change we can avoid cancer from
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(321)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Man impervious to tasers takes police on a low speed chase through three towns on ATV
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Indiana town gives away free prom dress with every purchase of chastity belt
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
"NPR considers rare on-air pledge drive despite ban." Confused? This would be in addition to local station pledge drives
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Elderly man ticketed for speeding while driving a 1923 Ford - that doesn't have a speedometer
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(TheStar Online)
 
 
 
Actual headline: Police monitoring illegal radio wave to catch discs tontos. RIAA Lone Rangers unavailable for comment
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
90 year old man finally receives pilot's license, promptly seeks out the Red Baron who killed his father
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Fewer than 800 homeowners in the North Dakota and Minnesota communities most threatened by the Red River hold insurance policies covering flood damage. So, for about half of the affected population, this tragedy will be a total loss
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(232)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Man armed with a gub tries to rob a DC bank. Woody Allen sought for questioning. (second item)
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Just in time for Cinco de Mayo, kosher tequila. It's the perfect gift to bring to your passover seder. L'Chaim, amigo
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
A sting operation by the Minnesota State Lottery nabs some helpful convenience store clerks who offer to "throw that losing ticket away for you", and then cash it in themselves
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Florida jailed man with Alzheimer's and brain cancer 32 years after his prison escape. Compassionate sunshine justice
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Students paint school's fight song on gym walls, forced to remove it because the word "fellow" is too sexist
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Yours for £60,000: A 730mph Harrier Jump Jet [pic]
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
AT&T tells RIAA to fark off, bring back a court order
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Lawyer Chiquita Tate stabbed 38 times by husband, who apparently just went bananas
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Here's how it works; He rearranges your furniture, you brick up his front door. That's the Bridgwater way
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(RINF)
 
 
 
It seems no one has counted the gold in Fort Knox since Eisenhower was in office. Ron Paul has a problem with that
source: rinf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Did you read the NYTimes Op-ed from the innocent AIG guy who didn't get his 750K bonus? Now read Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi's response. Someone just got told
source: smirkingchimp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(794)
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Woman who tried to sue a police dog for biting her on the butt is fined by a judge for filing a frivolous lawsuit
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
British activist sues US airman who arrested her when she climbed over airbase fence, because her criminal case against him was dismissed
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: A good reason to cry
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(WGME13)
 
 
 
Dear drug dealer, If you're sharp enough to talk your arresting officer into letting you sit in the front of the cruiser, you ought to be smart enough to watch for passing trucks when you leap out to escape
source: wgme.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
Alabama library patron calls for banning of book because of its negative portrayal of: A) Jesus B) Creationism C) Lynyrd Skynyrd
source: al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Passover Coke now available
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
After the lambasting she received thanks to Fark for complaining about the "David at the Dentist" video, Mary Mitchell digs the hole a little deeper. Anyone want to lend her a shovel?
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Gville Sun)
 
 
 
Oh, the wayward manatee
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
A new toy offers all the satisfaction of popping open a frosty beer. Batteries and wife beater, sold separately
source: mdn.mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
U.S. mileage standards for cars up for first time. In other news, article writer thinks the difference between 27.5 and 30.2 is "less than one mile per gallon"
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The twenty most ridiculous complaints made by vacationers to their travel agents. "The beach was too sandy."
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(The Maine Edge.com)
 
 
 
A Maine truck stop has introduced "The BoneCrusher," a burger that can feed a family of four. Well, probably not yours, but a normal, skinny family
source: themaineedge.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Your wife is nursing a 3-month-old and isn't keeping the house tidy. Do you (a) do it yourself, (b) hire a maid, or (c) slip methamphetamines in her water to "give her energy"?
source: seattlepi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Australian state plans on dealing with lawbreaking gangs by passing a law which bans them. Because if there's one thing that violent, murderous gangs obey, it's the law
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
Some people are getting all worked up over the use of "meh." *sigh* Whatever
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
From the Vail Daily classified ads: "Wanted: snitches who hang out with crooks, drug use and criminal record OK. Must be willing to work odd hours." This will end well
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman who set up her husband by planting drugs in his car and tipping off police is given a light sentence, after the man asks the judge for leniency because they have reconciled. The woman's former boyfriend who helped her gets screwed
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Nanny State turns its all-seeing eye in the direction of the dirty comics you've hidden behind the loo
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Iranian photoshop experts in North Korea to help with upcoming pictures
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
First, Pravda reports that Jesus Christ was Ukrainian... now it appears that he is from space
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Local residents arming themselves with sticks, golf clubs, stun guns, and ACME's Cane-Into-Sword Prestomatic to defend neighborhood against encroaching coyote threat
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this big boot
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
After two years of research, study shows fat guys are less manly and have less sex. Still no cure for cancer
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Some say the First Lady shouldn't be showing off her toned biceps. "There is nothing uglier than manly, muscular arms on a woman. Mrs. Obama should be hiding them instead of showing them off."
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(261)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Not news: Man arrested for DUI. News: It was a cop. Fark: In is marked Police cruiser
source: wtopnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Denver police looking for a missing adult female "wearing very little and with a diminished mental capacity" which describes 1.8 million women in Denver
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(WINK)
 
 
 
Son living with his 70-year-old mother arrested for giving her a black eye, infringing on copyrighted Star Wars character
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Despite the bad economy, summer camps are still filling up, proving two immutable facts: 1) parents will do anyhting to get their kids out of the house and 2) the lure of freedom, beer and teen sex is more powerful than money
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Alysheba, dubbed 'America's Horse' after winning 1987 Kentucky Derby and Preakness, has died. His story will keep you glued to the page
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Britain facing a major cock shortage
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Prince William can marry a white witch, a Jedi warrior or a scientologist, but is banned from getting hitched to a Catholic
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
China uses roving "death van" to execute criminals, sell their organs on the black market, race Jason Statham
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Man robs ring from jeweler shortly after mentioning that he needs bail money for his girlfriend. Later, a man posts bond for a woman with the same name using a ring for collateral. Police say they have a lead on a suspect
source: blog.seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Red Bull fails to give extreme skier wings
source: ctvbc.ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 


Sat March 28, 2009
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Website that claims to give users a perfect tan just by 'looking at it' gets more than a million hits
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Police will keep an eye on the convoy of a bikie gang travelling from Sydney to Canberra to attend a tattoo show and the funeral of a gang member. Does anyone else think "bikie" sounds less sinister that "biker"?
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Paralyzed after crashing into wild boars while riding your motorcycle drunk? Here's your $8.6 million, sir
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Those curly-cue planet-saving fluorescent light bulbs that Al Gore made everyone buy even though they cost $30 and cast a sickly pale glow don't work. Obvious tag outshines Fail tag
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(318)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
In this episode of "Great Moments in American Legal & Political Ethics" a lawyer helps an anonymous friend of Joe Biden's daughter auction off video of her doing coke
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Spain may open torture probe of six Bush officials. Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his admonitory message
source: filemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Tonight at 8:30 turn all your appliances and lights on
source: blog.wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(656)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
G20? Isn't that what Obama uses to roll a saving throw against economic armageddon?
source: newsforums.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Texas Board of Education has trouble believing cowboy Jesus rode dinosaurs, asks affected Spanish men to begin spelling name "Heyzeus" to avoid future confusion
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(335)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Skunk infiltrates home, spraying its stink everywhere, culminating in a home being gutted, a marriage destroyed, and a major lawsuit against an insurance company. That stinks
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
If you lost backpacks with 200,000 ecstasy tablets and 140 pounds of bud, Border Patrol found them for you. Party time. Excellent
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Italy's supreme court outlaws red light cameras
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Wheaton writes about his new book; unfortunately, it took more than 140 characters, so it's not on Twitter
source: enduserblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man wakes up to find himself locked inside bar. Alarm summons police who find him trying to get out. You're doing it wrong, man
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Cat sculpture could sell at auction for $16-$22 million. Well, duh, it's a CAT sculpture
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Thank you for serving in Iraq, glad to hear you survived your 13th surgery. By the way, your $3,000 medical bill is due
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(299)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You otter see these ugly-ass baby otters
source: cuteotters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Christian breeding movement continues to gain traction as families skip past breeding a basketball team and shoot for enough children to field a football team. Quiverfull: putting the "us" in "uterus" since 1985
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(623)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: Ye Olde Holiewoode Tapistry Shoppe - Photoshop a medieval type tapestry with a modern pop-cultural twist
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
Eighty percent of Americans fear their dentist, and one half are so scared that their fear stops them from going, although that leaves them with more time to make jokes about British smiles
source: redorbit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Thirty years ago today, Three Mile Island showed the world the dangers of nuclear power... or overreacting activists (take your pick)
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(303)
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Deorbit Burn: 12:33pm EDT, KSC Landing: 1:39pm EDT (Window One) Nasa Heads: Are you with me? (LGT NASATV)
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(256)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
The Swedish version of "Dancing with the Stars" looks like something inspired by TechnoViking
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
"What explains this resurgence of Canada jokes on U.S. television? We are the last group that can be made fun of without risk. Political correctness has made almost every other ethnicity off-limits"
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(448)
 
(The Standard)
 
 
 
Officials stunned that the adult dance event they approved is actually a pole dance competition. "It doesn't show me any sort of athletic component to it" says commissioner who has never held himself upside down by his thighs
source: standard.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(My Fox Boston)
 
 
 
Ice Cream Social fundraisers are banned in one town because they just aren't healthy
source: myfoxboston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Desperate for new fear mongering material, ABC tries to link heart attacks to Hurricane Katrina
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Rejected "Rock Band" titles revealed: "Big Band Blow Out", "Metal Lords", "Power Chords", "A Game For Tools And Morons, Like 'Simple Simon' But With Rock Songs". OK one of these is fake
source: digitalspy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
After 46 years behind bars with no privacy, forced to suffer from the taunts of tens of thousands of people, Illinois resident "Alpha" gets euthanized
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A ride in a minivan can be pretty boring... until a vulture crashes through the windshield and lands in the back seat
source: dailyrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Let's play "Guess The Defendant's Occupation" - Man pulls loaded handgun on bar staff, threatens them. Sentence: 22 day suspension and charges reduced to a non-criminal violation
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Since your never going to lose your virginity, how about you join the thousands of others and send those condoms in your drawer to the Pope
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Dispatch.com)
 
 
 
Ugly ass Asian elephant gives birth to ugly ass Asian baby elephant (w/pic)
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 
(The Pulse)
 
 
 
Newspaper has a Farker in the editorial department? It's more likely than you think
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
High School Girls + Wrestling + Chocolate Syrup = newspaper journalism (photos). Fail tag and Spiffy tag grapple in awesome hotness
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Russian mayoral race heats-up between an overweight ballerina, a porn star, and some guy who was wired money from Brooklyn. The only thing missing is the ex-KGB agent who used radioative polonium to kill a Putin critic. Oh, wait
source: blog.foreignpolicy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Sky News)
 
 
 
When even the mother behind "Meghan's Law" says that charging teens with "child porn" crimes and labling them sex offenders for swapping nude pics is absurd you know that this phenomenon is approaching critical mass
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Foreigners give us a perspective that we overlook on our own, and Americans need to realize that not only do we seem like inexplicable prudes to the rest of the world, but inexplicable prudes with a gun fetish
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(SUM GAI)
 
 
 
FAHRK HEHD'-lyne
source: kxmb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man accused of being a cross-dressing fake veterinarian who treated people's pets without a license while selling their snakes and lizards on Craigslist. Confused? You won't be on the next episode of Soap
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Create a poster for an unlikely sequel to a classic movie
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Daisy the cat suffers smoke inhalation, is resuscitated with kitty sized oxygen mask, recovers in time for Caturday
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(374)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
If you're in a wheelchair, airport security consider you to be luggage
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Spokane residents smuggle dishwasher detergent into city because government-mandated "green" detergent doesn't work
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Gettin' booed off stage 'cause your rappin' sucks / Pullin' a gun out, man, that's just farked up
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Jury acquits late-term abortion provider after gestating awhile. Critics call verdict miscarriage of justice
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Shawnigan Lake RCMP say they aren't certain whether the thief stole the 20-litre liquid tank for the nitrogen, or for the embryos and bull semen inside"
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Compulsive shoplifter creates "Shoplifters Anonymous" group in Illinois. Members are encouraged not to bring wallets, purses, car keys, or shoes
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Say the F word in a Walmart? That's an arrestin'
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
In another example of the wussification of America, more and more engaged men are planning their own weddings. "I don't see myself as Groomzilla. I think of myself as a concerned fiancé."
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Prisoner work crew babysits toddler on highway for hours. Steve Buscemi unavailable for comment
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 


Fri March 27, 2009
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Turns out Alfie Patten isn't the world's youngest father after all. He's still just a plain 13 year old boy that slept with the town slut
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these celebrants of the spring equinox at Stonehenge
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(oc register)
 
 
 
Intoxicated suicidal man gets hit with beanbag by police, sustains eye injury. Same man suing for millions because police didn't just shoot him with a real gun
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Lapdancing club opens next to pre-school. Predictably, some people have a problem with this
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(WPIX)
 
 
 
People see third-grade teacher masturbating in his car outside school on March 19, 20, and 24. Hmm, maybe he'll stop? Yesterday, he did it again. Oh OK, fine, let's arrest him
source: wpix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(KGTV)
 
 
 
"Hi, police? Some guys broke into my house, tied me and my roommates up and took cash, a computer and my, um, bong"
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
The school computer may seem like a good place to store pictures of your underaged girlfriend, but don't be fooled, they will find them. A year later
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Man robs retired police chief at police convention, dubbed "dumbest criminal in Pennsylvania"
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Latest name for new building replacing World Trade Center goes over as well as "Freedom Fries"
source: cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Inside the Peeps factory, because we all know we enjoy the flavor of sugar coated cardboard once a year
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Words such as Krabby Patty, Stain, Mole Rat, and Burnt Toast on T-shirts deemed offensive at high school. Urban dictionary provides enlightenment
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
1 out of 3 Americans wants the government to limit athletes and movie stars to $1mil a year salary
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(409)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Pull up a wheelchair and check out this week's The Smoking Gun's mugshot roundup (w/semi-Not safe for work pic of dude's arse on #3)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Governor cannot block the release of a convicted sex offender who has warned that he will "do it again"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Chemist positively charged with economic espionage after stealing paint formula from employer. FBI had an ion him the whole time, but still don't know alchemy did it
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
If you drop something into your gas tank, let it go, man, because it's gone
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Times Herald-Record)
 
 
 
Monkey with herpes and giant inflatable penis send neighbors over the edge
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Good night and God speed, bowtie man
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Step on a crack, break your mother's back. Step on your son's foot and he hurls a full can of soda at your head
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Zoning officials approve plans to open a slaughterhouse in the same building as a Subway restaurant. What could go wrong? "If there's a stench, and even one or two people get a whiff of that, we're done."
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
ThamWow guy pickth up a dantherouth prothtitute (and answer to today's earlier TSG contest)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(431)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Remember kids, if you get arrested for impersonating a police officer to pull your victims over, do not call your friends on your cell phone and confess while your interrogation is videotaped by the real police
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Bizjournals.com)
 
 
 
Airline pilot uniformly suspended for his attire. At the circus
source: bizjournals.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
British drivers forced to put mittens on cars' side view mirrors to protect them from horny, crapping birds
source: dailyexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Controversy mounts over Notre Dame's radical choice for a graduation speaker: The President of the United States
source: fe19.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(254)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
VDOT doesn't like night work. Solution: asks all businesses in Tysons Corner if they mind having all employees come in at 11:00 and stay late for the next five umm... years?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
How to not look surprised when your friends start Botox treatment
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Some Beer Drinker)
 
 
 
Now that Kid Rock has a microbrew, photoshop a beer label branded for someone else famous
source: mackinac.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Damn you white people, why must you ruin everything
source: huliq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(303)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Italian man and son may be next Fritzl case, having both imprisoned and raped own daughters. Gli Aristocratici
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(WCBS 880)
 
 
 
NJ cop admits having sex with prostitute in motel while on duty and in uniform, loses job and 23-year pension. Easy come, easy go
source: wcbs880.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(WTVN)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're going to repeatedly call a hockey arena and threaten the home team goalie during a game, disable your caller ID and try not to be wearing the opposing team's jersey when the cops show up at your house
source: wtvn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
FAA wants to keep bird strike reports confidential, since reporting them to the public would cause pilots to stop reporting them. Excel has detected a circular reference
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
While the rest of the world works longer hours for less money to put food on the table, school teachers demand to work four days a week and be paid the same, while getting summers and every holiday in existence off
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(225)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man accused of ripping off the bra and pouring chili on his pregnant girlfriend. That's hot
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
After his teen son is accused of biting 11 students at school, father does the logical thing and blames the "Twilight" movie
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Private jail company claims that giving prisoners the keys to their cells makes prisons safer. Absolutely nothing could possibly go wrong with this plan
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Pesky pranksters paint pub pink. Pwned
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Russia to ban emo music on the grounds that it encourages depression and suicide. Emos ecstatic to finally have a legitimate reason to feel oppressed
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
REMINDER: Los Angeles Fark Party, Saturday March 28. LGT original thread
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Sky News)
 
 
 
The coolest ghost photo of a man or woman in a ruff peering out of a barred window at Tantallon Castle that you'll see all day
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
For the record, when you're not really in a fraternity, and you grab a guy off the street, throw him in the car, and drop him off in the middle of nowhere, you can't really tell the cops what you did was a fraternity prank
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(The Bookseller)
 
 
 
And the award for the oddest book title of the year goes to... "The 2009-2014 World Outlook for 60-miligram Containers of Fromage Frais"
source: thebookseller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
KFC finds solution to Chicago's significant street pothole problem, promises to fill them in for free with KFC logo on top. On the plus side, used chicken grease and unsold mashed potatoes will probably last longer than asphalt
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
"If you don't have a proper lavatory in your house, don't even think about marrying my daughter"
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
As many as 86,000 people each year are injured when they fall over their pets. This is just another example of media fur-mongering
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If you drink hot tea to reduce your risk of cancer, you'd better cool your jets
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Your childhood toys are getting a makeover, from Turtles to Barbie to GI Joe
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
U.K. to change 308 year old royal succession rules and allow Catholic, human animal hybrids to ascend the throne
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(lohud.com)
 
 
 
Dad's to-do list: walk dog, get in knife-fight with wife, pick up son from daycare, lead police on high-speed pursuit
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(KeysNet)
 
 
 
Giant mutant lobster takes over U.S. 1 in the Florida Keys
source: keysnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(CBS2Chicago.com)
 
 
 
Hittable female cross country coach arrested for helping one of her male athletes reach the finish line a little sooner than his peers
source: cbs2chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Crowned with a new nickname, apparently this man hasn't considered that bank robbery caries a stiff penalty, not to mention prison cavity searches - Four out of five dentists root for this headline, say it deserves a plaque
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Britain's most spoiled teenager" is the official subject of today's two minute hate, brought to you by the Daily Mail
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
"I love Jews" Facebook group changes name to "Hitler: Great Modern Man of History". Hilarity ensues
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(192)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
Video
 
Poor eating habits are translating to a higher rate of kidney stones in children, some who are still in kindergarten. Doctors warn this is more than just a passing trend
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chinese officials seeking lost radioactive ball, members of the public are warned not to taunt it
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Mexico wants more US money for drug wars, 3% of which is being eaten up by Western Union fees
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
France has surrendered to a computer worm
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Russia plans to create Arctic military force, US planning for Polar Bear Calvary invasion
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
This week's TSG contest: Which celebrity is in this mugshot? Ends at 4pm eastern
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(237)
 
(SouthCoastToday)
 
 
 
When facing charges of setting someone on fire, don't threaten to set someone else on fire
source: southcoasttoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Connecticut Post)
 
 
 
Connecticut school brings new meaning to the phrase "I'm not touching you"
source: connpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
60 year-old woman arrested three times in three days for drunk driving in Wisconsin. Woman: "I am still finishing up the box of wine in my car from yesterday"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Octomom used to be a stripper... Sorry. I just threw up in my mouth a little
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(299)
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Police chief crashes at red light while reading headlines. Behold the power of HEY, LOOK OUT
source: blogs.thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sand sifter
source: farm1.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Kaiser Family Foundation)
 
 
 
Police officers save cute ducklings from a storm drain (with video)
source: thisisplymouth.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Some house hunter)
 
 
 
What sort of real estate around the world can you buy with 150K
source: matadorlife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British doctors think they could be a step closer to curing tinnitus, as long as someone will hurry up and answer the damned phone
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(6 Action News)
 
 
 
Woman can't figure out why her car got stuck on a strange metal road. She should ask someone from that approaching locomotive (with video)
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Couple goes through messy divorce. Wife remarries. And moves into ex's house w/ new husband. What could possibly go wrong?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
High school girls fake a bomb threat in order to close school so they could make it to their senior ditch day. (w/ perfectly legal, no eyebleach required mugshots)
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
Career Army officer court-martialed because he refused to deploy to Iraq. How could little things like bad back, active TB possibly get in the way?
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for calling 911 three times when roommate took her beer away, called her a big baby. "It hurts my feelings."
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Natasha Richardson's death saved the life of an Ohio girl hit by baseball two days earlier
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(KPTV)
 
 
 
Man receives speeding ticket. Does he pay by: A) Check, B) Money Order, C) Gather spare change, place in plastic bag, fill bag with urine, mail to County Courthouse
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Nanny state bans soccer because balls flying through the air could be deadly. Ron Jeremy unavailable for comment
source: dailyexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Cannibal mum eats her chum. 'Twas cooked quite rare, The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 


Thu March 26, 2009
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Lonely gorillas who met through online dating site have their first baby [pic]
source: dailyexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this immersed man
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Prison evacuated because of prisoner hiding smokin' hot sausage in his pooper
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Boston Channel)
 
 
 
There are no vampires at this school, claims headmaster Dr. Acula
source: thebostonchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Jesus will not be riding his dinosaur in Texas
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(908)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Driver tries to run over FedEx worker. He got knocked down, but you'll get UPS again
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this half-hidden honor guard
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
100 people sickened after eating at Applebee's, choose your headline. A) I mean more than they usually are, B) Probably had the fish, or C) That's why I eat only at fancy places, like Olive Garden
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(210)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Swimming instructor arrested for assaulting young buoys
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Pretty much the best paperclip ever
source: joethepeacock.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's 2:30 -- time for the titty show at the cathedral
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for shoplifting cordless drill from Lowes says she learned how to successfully shoplift from watching Fox's COPS
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Woman videotapes herself having sex with dog while watching child porn. Then things get weird
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(273)
 
(Lebanon Daily News)
 
 
 
Philadelphia to deploy solar-powered trash cans throughout the city. Thank god we can finally stop using all those wasteful gas-powered trash cans
source: ldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Question One: What kind of college has a steam room? Question 2: What kind of student at said college brings a knife into said steam room, just in case he needs to stab someone? We now have an answer to both of these mysteries
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(BILD.com)
 
 
 
Police in Germany hunted a sinister phantom killer for two years after finding the same DNA at 39 different crime scenes - only to discover that the source was a woman who made the cotton buds used to collect the sample
source: bild.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Comedy Central)
 
 
 
To save the economy we must only buy water, bread and margaritas
source: southparkstudios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(WTHR)
 
 
 
Indiana State Trooper pulls the Facebook trifecta: brags about wrecking his patrol car, desire to shoot the homeless, and holding a .357 to a buddy's head
source: wthr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
We are now on final approach Miami International Airport. Please stow your tray tables, return your seat to its full, upright position and put your dick back in your pants
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Pilot survives ejection over Ecuadorian jungle, only to die when cable on rescue helicopter breaks. Ironic tag says, 'Oh, snap"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
If you're an Islamic suicide bomber trying to blow up soldiers, but instead blow your buddies up, do you still go to Paradise? Do they prorate it, so you only get 12 ugly virgins, instead of the regular 72 hot ones?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Colorado Springs meteorologists cheerfully admit forecasting snow is a "total crapshoot." Also warns everyone they're all gonna die in a blizzard this afternoon
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
High School: "Pull up your pants, or get belted"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
NYC Transit agency wants the group that is posing as stewardesses on its trains to knock it off, or at least get some better looking women if they want to use their name
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(News 14 Carolina)
 
 
 
"Now honey, you're just a woman, so let me show you the proper way to load this *BANG*... OH GOD MY STOMACH"
source: news14.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(WJZ.com)
 
 
 
There once was a brand from Nantucket, the trail mix is tainted so chuck it
source: wjz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Know your social network site parlance: "Female seeking financial and emotional help" means "Two dudes will beat you, rob you, strangle you, leave you for dead"
source: insidebayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Some people are lucky enough to have jobs where they can grab a quick nap without anyone spotting. This judge needs to learn he's not one of them
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
Increasing number of American towns facing intensity in tent cities
source: ncbuy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Random drug tests for welfare recipients? What could possibly go wrong?
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(453)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
This yellow colored Riesling opens with a pear like bouquet. On the palate, this wine is medium bodied with subtle overtones of chared metal and petroleum
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The coolest pictures you will see today of things bing blown apart by high-velocity ammunition
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Drive too close to my son? That's a bleaching
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
British town using lighting that makes acne more visible to deter teen loitering. Initial reports indicate zit has been working well
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
A father, sent to Auschwitz to die during the Holocaust, writes a letter to his family on a piece of toilet paper and throws it from the train, hoping someone will find it and deliver it. Someone did
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(230)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
You want the cute? You can't handle the cute
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Unprotected group sex gets the blame for syphilis outbreak among Oklahoma teens. Like there's anything else to do in Oklahoma
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(251)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Convicted pedophile sues policeman -- who dared to suggest he might not be the best person to open a youth education center -- for defamation. Wins
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Seminole tribe on their way to operating Vegas-style full-casinos. Chief Runs with Premise agrees not to spread SARS virus - Hah-hah-hah-hah, hah-hah-hah-hah
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Irish Independent)
 
 
 
Man who had just had his hand severed with a samurai sword punched his attacker in the face with the bloody stump. The Black Knight nods approvingly
source: independent.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The war in Afghanistan to become more American and less NATO, whose European members are as reluctant to deploy more troops as they are to admit that they actually enjoyed "Baywatch"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(242)
 
(CBS2Chicago.com)
 
 
 
Judge rules you can go around to strangers asking to tickle their kids, however creepy it may be
source: cbs2chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Because what people really want from Southern Baptists is: More evangelism
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(524)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Danes lead world in telecom readiness, allowing them to more easily adapt to crisis. To speak with Beowulf, press 1
source: tech.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
UK defends spying on social networking sites: "We have no way of knowing whether Osama bin Laden is chatting to Abu Hamza on Facebook."
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Australia schedules "festive mass killing" for Saturday
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Seeing-eye horse kicks up controversy, "she doesn't need to be riding it around like Lady Godiva in a store"
source: news.aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The hard-hitting Daily Mail arrives at at list of the world's most babealicious political figures. Bottom line: If you choose your politicians based on hotness, move to Peru
source: blogs.dailymail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(196)
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
"Drunk, passed out on some stranger's couch with your pee-soaked pants around your ankles is no way to go through life, son."
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Radical Pakastani cleric points out that US missile Strikes "justify jihad". This from a news conference held under couch in a hole dug into the back wall of his basement, under the stairs with the "Beware of Leopard" sign
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Clarion Ledger)
 
 
 
Major tornado strikes Magee Mississippi, causes hundreds of dollars in damage. Several hounds feared missing
source: clarionledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
To be caught stealing from a car filled with surveillance gear once could be considered unfortunate, to do so twice seems careless
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
You're angry because you got fined twice for not paying tolls on a toll bridge do you? C) Drive by slowly so the cameras can get your license plate while you shoot at toll booth workers with a wrist rocket?
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cardinal a-pointing
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
18 college students spend their spring break preparing for life with a philosophy degree
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Sex offender sues the police, a university, and others for being connected to gangs, organized prostitution, Muslim drug lords and Asian narcotics. Then there's that whole not letting him have his concubines
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass puppy paints some pretty cool pictures. Awwww
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Rare paintings by young Austrian artist in his twenties to be auctioned. The artist went on to write "Mein Kampf"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Over 90% of blind Americans can't read Braille, will never find out how crappy "Twilight" is
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(azfamily.com)
 
 
 
Rabid bobcat attacks three people inside an Arizona bar. As if the cougars weren't bad enough
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Even if you're a pro football player, run a red light in Texas and the cops will absolutely not let you have the last seconds with your dying mother-in-law. Even if they stop you with no chase in the hospital parking lot with nurses pleading
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(552)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Somewhere, Kirstie Alley is rolling over in her gravy
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Good mom: not driving your kids to daycare because you're on medication. Bad mom: letting the 12-year-old drive the 1-, 2-, and 4-year-olds to daycare while you stay home. With "Was that wrong?" mugshot goodness
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Farm-hand who worked for 30 years unpaid on a 400-acre estate is given the keys to the whole lot
source: dailyexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Boy meets girl online, boy and girl play video games, boy and girl arrange to meet, boy turns out to be Jabba The Hutt (with must-see pic)
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(377)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
He found heaven from the 7th floor
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(OK Magazine)
 
 
 
57 percent of Brits claim they're 'amazing kissers'. Presumably, the other 43 percent are 'phenomenal dentists'
source: ok.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Okay, let's go through this one more time: when you're driving a car full of marijuana, meth, ecstasy, cash and a loaded pistol, do NOT attract attention to yourself by speeding in front of the cops
source: themercury.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Transparent beer launched because women 'don't like drinking opaque liquids'. Tell that to Jenna Jameson
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Oakland city residents prepare to hold vigil for the four police officers killed by... what? They're holding it for the *shooter?*
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(345)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 203: "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(268)
 


Wed March 25, 2009
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
What better way to cure your sinful, wicked urges to look at internet porn than to shave your head, put on camo and dog tags and go to boot camp with hundreds of other sinful, wicked men to receive "discipline"?
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Students speak out against tobacco, may want consider improving sign-spelling skills as well
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Commercial Appeal)
 
 
 
TN legislature debates Saggy Pants Bill. "This is the 'crack' bill, and I think any respectable citizen would be against crack"
source: commercialappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
It's a streetlight
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Journal Times)
 
 
 
Woman drove her 13-year-old nephew to a fight with a 15-year-old. Bonus: She had a neighbor videotape the attack
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Note for British shopkeepers: Genuine sterling banknotes have a picture of the Queen on them, not Boy George
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snowball fight
source: img21.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You've got to love a murder trial that begins with the defense attorney telling a story about aliens
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
A 'fake justice of the peace' may have performed weddings in Arizona. It's like getting a second chance
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Canada and France are teetering on the brink of a terrible war. The only things left to decide are how long their armies will break for lunch, and whether Canada's white snowsuits will unfairly camouflage France's surrender flags
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(CDNN)
 
 
 
Dynamite fishermen accidentally kill the world's most unlucky diver
source: cdnn.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(CDC)
 
 
 
According to the CDC recommended safety gear for a honeymoon includes helmets, life jackets, and knee pads. Wait, what?
source: cdc.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British primary school children to be taught how to use Twitter, because if there's one thing 7 year olds don't know how to do it's tell people they're pooping
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
If you were at Chicago's South Side Irish St. Patrick's Day Parade this year, congratulations; because of you, this year was the last parade
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
While General Motors asks for more taxpayer loans, there's one perk GM refuses to give up: a company car and company-paid gas for about 8,000 white-collar employees
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
MTA to NYC commuters regarding a stiff series of toll and fare hikes with service cuts: You'll get over it
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Today's "teacher seduces her pupil with raunchy pictures" story is brought to you all the way from Sweden. With Not safe for work pic of said teacher
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
When handling a gun, remember one thing above all else: The pointy end with the hole is where the bullets come out. Don't hold it there
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
California to reduce carbon emissions by...banning black and dark colored cars?
source: wardsauto.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Seven pet myths debunked. Your dog really does want steak, though
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(228)
 
(WBIR.com)
 
 
 
Puppy rescued after climbing to the top of a tree in Knoxville. Cats do that, sure. But who knew a Dogwood?
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
With no other news happening, ABC reminds you a dog may kill your child this summer
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
F-22 crashes in California
source: cnnwire.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(440)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
College fraternity suspended after doing what fraternities do -- get piss-drunk and try to sleep with girls
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Wash. state solving bear problem with bear-hunting dogs. Will then likely solve dog problem with dog-killing snakes. Will then solve snake problem with snake-killing gorillas
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Charleston Gazette)
 
 
 
Does it count as sexting when a 34-year-old woman sends explicit material to her stepson? (with mugshot "goodness")
source: wvgazettemail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Drew Peterson does not take kindly to neighbors putting up memorial ribbons for his former wives, sneaks out at night and cuts them up...the ribbons, not the neighbors
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study finds that a man looks into a woman's eyes for 8.2 seconds if he is attracted to her, 4.5 seconds if he is not, and 0.0 seconds if she's a C-cup or above
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(544)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Packs of wild dogs, some totaling over 100, are terrorizing the eastern plains of Colorado killing livestock and pets. While frantic officials seek a solution, Micheal Vick waits patiently by the phone
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Sum Ting)
 
 
 
Man attempts to set neighbors trailer on fire, wind decides to set his trailer on fire
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you wake up and there is a man in your room who claims to be a police officer 'looking for four people', you probably shouldn't just go back to sleep
source: madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(CBS3.com)
 
 
 
Naked suspect attacks Delaware police with antenna. That's a shooting
source: cbs3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this freaky face
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
North Dakota declared a disaster zone. Wait until they hear about the flooding
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(289)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
ProTip: If you are a cop and you rob a bank it's not a good idea to hit the one where you work security as they might recognize you
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
School has children sing 'In God We Still Trust'... Cue the lawyers in three, two, one
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(440)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Worried that decriminalization law approved by voters sends wrong message, towns vote to recriminalize pot smoking
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
With global warming melting the polar ice caps, killer whales moving to the cool waters of...the Gulf of Mexico?
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
Judge drops hammer on defendant during courtroom scuffle (w/Video)
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
It may not be specifically referenced in the Bible, but "plague of gerbils" sure sounds a lot like a sign of the apocalypse
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
What do four of the nation's top newspapers (NYT, WaPo, USA Today, WSJ) have in common besides a smug sense of entitlement? None of them asked a question at Obama's press conference
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Maryland lawmakers may remove offensive phrases like "Northern scum" from official state song. Residents of New Jersey fail to see problem
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Consumer psychologists say people are so obsessed with preparing for the future that they can't enjoy the present. Suck it, saver's remorse
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
You might be getting just a bit too involved in your child's schoolwork if your second-grader shows up to the science fair with a talking teddy bear powered by a homemade circuit chip
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Leave your PC on at night? Congratulations, you're destroying your company's fiscal health. You're killing the world, too, but you probably don't care about that either, do you?
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(269)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man is angry about a minor accident between neighbors and his wife, so he does the practical thing: leaves a vulgar note, destroys a ceramic pot, drops his pants, and threatens the neighbors with a stick. The aristocrats
source: eagletribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Faced with the sober reality that Obama's "insurance for all" approach is really happening, insurance companies agree to drop their now-standard "higher premiums if you're sick" approach
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(625)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Both Gloria Allred and Clown Car go on "Dr." Phil's show, in a perfect storm of douchebaggery that could kill us all
source: fe11.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman beats the crap out of husband but swears she didn't kill him. More than likely, he died of embarassment after having his ass kicked by his wife
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass clouded leopard cubs born at National Zoo...eh, who are we kidding? They're adorable
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
For some strange reason, corporate coaching strategies that involve telling US soldiers to turn their "post traumatic stress" into "post traumatic growth" haven't done much to halt the military's suicide epidemic
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(FDNM)
 
 
 
"It makes no sense to store oil at the base of an erupting volcano"
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Manchester Evening News)
 
 
 
Not News: Girl threatened with ban from high school prom if her attendance doesn't improve, Fark: She's been dead two months
source: manchestereveningnews.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Spending 27 years in prison for a crime you didn't commit sucks. So does getting hit by a taxi when they let you out
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Operation Blade Runner nets 300kg of marijuana, 83kg of cocaine, 40,000 ecstasy pills, nine replicants
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fargo bracing for 100 year flood, residents covering the entire city with TruCoat
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
73-year old man paying phone bill online for the first time accidentally sends $12,416, leaving him nothing to live on. Qwest tells him it will take six weeks to refund, man says QWTF?
source: kob.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pilot who stopped to pray during a crash that killed 16 is sentenced to ten years of kneeling in jail
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Go right on the roundabout, third exit... Left turn ahead... Deploy parachute when possible
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Nearly 40% of people admit to caring less about the environment now that the price of gasoline has fallen by half. You know, because $4 gas is worse for the environment than $2 gas
source: dailyfueleconomytip.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
At first they just cloned sheep, and I said nothing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Young doctors learn bad habits from TV medical dramas. That explains why it's never lupus
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Cop tickets woman for stopping her car on the road to resuscitate her severely disabled son
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Penguinfark)
 
 
 
Photoshop this painter climbing a ladder
source: i646.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Being a lumberjack is the worst job in America, but that's okay
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Real Headline: Name shame causes Cock shrinkage but Wang is on the rise
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Girl loses cell phone. Retraces steps to find two boys with it playing "Star Wars" with goggles, latex gloves and rubber bats. Then it gets weird
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Veterans Today)
 
 
 
As if American veterans haven't been getting shafted enough by the VA, thousands potentially exposed to hepatitis, HIV from contaminated colonoscopes in VA hospitals
source: veteranstoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Christians called "intolerant" by some stupid atheist who is going to burn in hell when he gets there
source: theherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(678)
 
(Some Drunk Illinoian)
 
 
 
Mayor of small Illinois town is pushing to make St. Patrick's Day a Federal Holiday
source: saukvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
So you know all those younger men who are supposedly into dating older women? Yeah, not so much
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(204)
 
(Some Cancerous Lump)
 
 
 
Having learned their lessons from Vietnam, U.S. border patrol plans to use agent orange like chemical to kill all the plants along the Rio-Grande tomorrow. What could possibly go wrong?
source: organichealthwellness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 


Tue March 24, 2009
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
Police enter home after complaints of foul odor. After eight cats were removed from the filthy house they found the source of the smell: a mummified 96 year-old woman fused to a bed
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
ABC News: Mexico: The next Iraq or Afghanistan? EVERYBODY CHAPULTEPEC
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(204)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Obesity linked to attention-deficit hyperaHEY A COOKIE
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
If you're going to risk jail time for stealing your dream car, aim higher than a Nissan Altima, it's just embarrassing otherwise
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Palm Springs reaches out to the Spring Break crowd. They're gonna love the mah jong by the pool and the early bird specials
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Hard-working janitor spends 12 years saving up enough money to rebuild his modest home, only to scale back plans because city demands $15k for sidewalk. Bonus: his would be only sidewalk on the block
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Kim Jong's sister Ill
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Entertainment Weekly)
 
 
 
Al Gore's new book "Our Choice" will offer a comprehensive global plan that actually solves the climate crisis while he pays $30,000 in combined electricity and natural gas bills for his Nashville estate
source: news-briefs.ew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(256)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
NPR ratings are waaay up. Suck it Rush
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(432)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman in Kazakhstan woman claims to be 130 years old, big Borat fan
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Holiday postcard from Austria delivered to addressee in Bavaria 48 years late. To be fair, it had to cross the Indian Ocean, the Red Sea, and the Mediterranean to reach its destination
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Nuts and bolts
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Community thinks letting an upscale tattoo parlor move into an abandoned store in a strip mall will hurt the area's image. "It doesn't belong and it doesn't fit"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(TV Squad)
 
 
 
Networks upset that President Obama keeps upsetting their primetime schedules with his addresses. They would have a point if people actually watched their crappy shows
source: tvsquad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(252)
 
(News 10 ABC Sacramento)
 
 
 
What to do when business is down when you own a glass company? Go around town and bust out windows
source: news10.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Almost two months later, columnist is outraged after discovering 'David after dentist' on YouTube; has yet to find any 'lighten up, Francis' clips
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(230)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Don't try to save beached whales; they'll die even if pushed back into the sea. Note: This is no excuse to shoot Rosie O'Donnell if you see her in Malibu
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Car stereo thefts are basically going away. There's no profit in it any more
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
With the economy in the toilet and Wall Street still unregulated, Governor Kaine does what should have been done 3 years ago: ban cul-de-sacs?
source: switchboard.nrdc.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Wanted poster featuring mugshot of murder suspect. New hotness: Lifesize cardboard cut-out of suspect, complete with voice recording to scare passers by
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Nanny State Health Service handing out 6-inch rubber penises to 13-year olds at health workshops. What could go wrong (other than people mistakenly believing that Brits sport 6-inches)?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Kung fu master swallows chopstick, forgets about it until it's surgically removed 20 years later. Bonus: Photo helpfully captioned "Some chopsticks, not lodged in a kung-fu master's stomach"
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny State using spy planes and thermal imaging to harrass homeowners whose houses are wasting heat
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(WIVB)
 
 
 
Give me $700, or you will never see your luggage again
source: wivb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Vator.tv)
 
 
 
NY Times leads with User Generated Content as its top story. Man these guys are hurtin'
source: vator.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Ben's Biz Blog)
 
 
 
Minor league ballpark unveils new 5/3 pound burger topped with lettuce, tomato, nacho cheese, chili, salsa and crunched tortilla chips that feeds up to four people -- or one person from Michigan
source: bensbiz.mlblogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Delco Times)
 
 
 
Molest me once, shame on you. Molest me twice, you... -you can't be a priest anymore
source: delcotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(ABC2News Baltimore)
 
 
 
Brain surgeon has heart attack while performing brain surgery, realizes his patient would never recover if he stopped the operation so he finishes the job anyway
source: abc2news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Senior Harvard economist recommends that drugs be legalized, also states that he could really go for a burrito right now and has a song on his iPod that you totally have to listen to
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(444)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Injured combat troops would rather be redeployed than face hospitalization at Fort Bragg. Reed all about it
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(99)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Girl burns her brother with a curling iron, but in her defense, he did pick the bathroom lock using a knife
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(94)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Chicago State Rep wants schools to teach kids how to handle a gun. What could possibly go wrong?
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