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Sun March 08, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists discover that fast reaction time is a better indicator of a long life than blood pressure, exercise level or weight. Dale Earnhardt nods in agreement
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Some McFarker)
 
 
 
Assault with a breakfast sandwich - this has been your Peoria McGriddle assault update
source: pjstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Real IRA claims responsibility for killing two British soldiers. Fake IRA still looking for their lucky charms
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: Where the pot calls the kettle black and then gets dogpiled by the waffle iron, crock pot and immersion blender
 
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Musical salute to Ted Kennedy planned. "Splish Splash" to be the overture
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this porcine presentation
source: internet.watch.impress.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(OK Magazine)
 
 
 
France (the country where hardcore porn is compulsory on TV after 8pm) fines a man for driving with license plates that say 'Kiss'
source: ok.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Pennsylvania's state-owned liquor system spending $170,000 to train its clerks to be less surly, not chuckle at your cheapness for buying a handle of Popov vodka
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(International Herald Tribune)
 
 
 
Mystery illness causes hundreds of patrons from a top British restaurant to fall ill. Experts suggest that the most likely cause was the British food
source: iht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
If you took a Montebello police cruiser for a spin early this morning, please bring back the AR-15 assault rifle and 870 Remington shotgun you took from it
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Hold off on deleting all those penis enlargement ads in your spam folder
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
"When gas was $4 a gallon, I didn't go anywhere. Now it's all good."
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Cure for cancer. Still no cure for... hey... wait a second
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Finally a story that explains how burping sheep, tweeting Republicans and non-specific technology affect your love life
source: newsandtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Teen gets a felony conviction and sex offender designation for texting nude photos. Go 'Murica YAY Freedom 9-11 9-11 9-11
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(258)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
BBC correspondent baffled by American tipping system. It's not news, it's the BBC
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(443)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Despite their eagerness to splash any celebrity divorce on the front page, The Sun seemed to completely miss this one
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Today's middle school teacher busted for sending pornographic photos to a 14-year-old boy's cell phone is brought to you by St. Petersburg, Florida (w/ mugshot)
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Texas town's PTA president is a MILF on a roller derby team (with pic). "It's about helping your jammer get through the pack."
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Theme: Video games for the emo crowd
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sunday Fark Factoid: Nearly six of ten Americans have never lived outside the state they were born in, and four out of ten have never left their hometown
source: fe10.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(471)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Your dumbass weatherman isn't always wrong. You just don't know what the hell he's saying
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Magazine column answers the question everyone has been asking themselves lately. "Does dressing like a soft porn star actually empower a woman, or is she simply exploiting herself?"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Marriage wisdom from kids: "You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. [...] she should keep the chips and dip coming." Fortunately for all of us, the Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Factory jobs disappeared. Inflation soared. Unemployment climbed to alarming levels. The hungry lined up at soup kitchens. The 1930's or last week?
source: fe23.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Marijuana and Pepsi go together - a winning combination
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Just the fax ma'am. Joe Friday impressed
source: mymotherlode.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Dairy Queen: Taste "Something Different" (tm)
source: kirotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Some Geek)
 
 
 
Photoshop this human/computer interface
source: blogs.walkerart.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman calls sheriff to report robbery over costly colon-cleansing capsules. Authorities admit her suppository was sad, but in the end, waste of time
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Not News: A janitorial position opens up at an Ohio school. News: 700 people apply. Fark: The school system is extending the deadline so more people can apply
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Talk about going out with a bang
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Don't forget to move your clock up an hour, or you might be late to that job you just lost
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
New Jersey police will soon begin using robots to retrieve cars submerged in rivers, once they can figure out how to program the robot to solicit a bribe for doing so
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
If your brother won't put out his cigarette and you do it for him with a fire extinguisher, you bet that's an arrestin'
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 


Sat March 07, 2009
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian cities thinking about banning bottled water, which is fine because nobody up here drank those American beers anyway
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Police warn Canadians: if a guy tries to sell you chicken out of his trenchcoat on the street, you probably shouldn't eat it
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(NASA)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crystal
source: nasa.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
School officials: No smokes, alcohol or guns, but hey, here's a rap artist poster with smoking, drinking, and guns for you. Parents are unhappy
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
Man breaks out of jail to break into a convenience store and steal 14 packs of cigarettes and then sneaks back into jail. Some people will do anything for a smoke
source: newschannel9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Allentown police arrest 12 guys who wanted to find their baby, hold her tight, grab some afternoon delight. Sky rockets in flight
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Driver found drunk, unconscious, blocking traffic lane, and carrying a badge
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Charleston Daily Mail)
 
 
 
University to auction opportunity to blow up donated building
source: dailymail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Nine firefighters help save St. Bernard with its ass frozen to an icy lake, proving once again that there's nothing a firefighter won't do to get a free drink
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Homeless man's website helps him get by. In other news, even in this economy, a homeless man has a website
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
FCC and Sheriff's gang unit bust a pirate radio operation that was broadcasting public service announcements on where to find the best hookers and blow
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(KnoxNews)
 
 
 
30 police cars, a giant American flag stretched between fire trucks, 100 people and officers gathered, and Taps in the background. All of this to put to rest a fallen police dog who died of kidney failure
source: knoxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(264)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
More than 25,000 conservationists and international policy makers claim that world water shortage to reach critical proportion by 2025. As long as there is plenty of beer, though, we should be fine
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Atom)
 
 
 
Why anyone would die for this food is beyond me
source: community.atom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this egg-like backdrop
source: filemagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Silver subby)
 
 
 
Sunset performer Gold Man's death leads long-lost brother Copper Cowboy to find third long-lost brother. Florida -- and Keys -- tag second in line to Sappy
source: keysnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The death penalty debate is over, states are stating to abolish it, not because of some moral code handed down from an almighty being, but because of the moral code of the almighty dollar
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(299)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Statins may reduce joy of sex. Damn you, Statin, damn you straight to hell
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
It was the dark of the moon on the sixth of June, and the Romanian was hauling logs. He jumped on the interstate and started to gyrate and steers with his feet like a dog
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Ric Romero repoting that daylight savings messes with body rhythms, sleep schedule
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
In one of the easiest and most enjoyable evenings in law enforcement history, eight arrested after girls go wild during "Girls Gone Wild" party
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Some Snuggler)
 
 
 
Sign of the coming douchepocalypse -- Snuggie pub crawls
source: snuggiepubcrawls.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ugly assed pink bottlenose dolphin spotted in Louisiana lake. Still no sign of pink unicorns or elephants. (w/pic)
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Snopes)
 
 
 
GM sends letter to suppliers asking them to lobby congressmen for bailout. One supplier replies back with a few unpleasant facts. Hope he has other customers
source: snopes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(473)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Ferret fracas frazzles Freeport family, freshman Ferrara
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Dead Sea Scroll Scholar's Son Suspected of Shifty Shenanigans by the Sea Shore
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(A Brother in Fark)
 
 
 
"He loved gardening and tending to his thriving, enormous goldfish. He also loved combing the Internet for interesting news, especially the Web site Fark.com"
source: pressofatlanticcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(331)
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
A nice day of cross country skiing on the city's nature trail turns into an episode of When Nature Attacks. Orly? Yarly
source: bangornews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Caption Treasury Secretary Timothy Geithner
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(tucsoncitizen.com)
 
 
 
RV the cat lives up to her name. Nine months and 1200 miles later, is reunited with her owner just in time for Caturday
source: tucsoncitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(454)
 
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop these balancing stones
source: bridginglinus.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Mall security guard tells two female shoplifters he won't call the cops if he can take pictures of their nude breasts and semi-clothed groin/buttocks areas
source: theolympian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Some Repeat Offender)
 
 
 
I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got. Better hurry it up, I'm in dutch with the wife
source: wvgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Woman steals credit card and buys a Yamaha motorbike ($3,100), dental visit ($1,500), tattoo ($300) and bail ($200). She was finally arrested when she used the card to buy a Dr. Pepper
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Cool story of the world's oldest conjoined twins
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
After nearly 40 years researchers say a new theory is emerging in the D.B. Cooper case. Enter the rubber bands
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
66 year-old man arrested for trying to get through Spanish customs with a cast on his leg made entirely of cocaine. Bonus: he had deliberately broken his leg before putting on the cast so as not to arouse the suspicions of officials
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
The best part of waking up is...driving into a house
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Female university students eat bananas held between male students' legs to win votes for student council. Hey, how do you think Hillary Clinton got elected? (SFW pics)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Some guy)
 
 
 
The media would like to let you know that old friends on Facebook may reject your requests. It's not news, its "just because I hung out with you 7 years ago doesn't mean I want to be your friend now"
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Drunk, stupid and disorderly is no way to ask a police officer for a hug, son
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Add impaired lung capacity to the list of things excess belly fat will get ya, Fatty McFatpants
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 


Fri March 06, 2009
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman pisses off (on) cop (car)
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Ocala Star Banner)
 
 
 
Pilot performs durability test of experimental aircraft against recreational vehicle, loses
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Only in America
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
The US Army does not endorse 'take your kids to work' day. Especially when that work takes you to Iraq or Afghanistan
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Capcom: Resident Evil 5 will take place in Africa and here are the screenshots. Public: OMG That white guy is shooting all those black people. Capcom: um, I think you missed the point
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If you have never seen an x-ray of half a kilo of ball-bearings shot into some unlucky dude's ass, today is your day (SFW)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
News: Man assaults his girlfriend. Really News: The girl's ex-boyfriend goes after the guy. Fark: Judging by the mugshot, the guy got the beatdown of his life
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Voice of America)
 
 
 
North Korea threatens commercial aircraft flying near its borders. Somebody really needs a hug again
source: voanews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Lustfully, his fingers fumbled with the zipper in searing anticipation before extracting his rock hard Kindle. Softly caressing it before pressing his finger gently against the power-button, feeling it throb warmly against his skin
source: itworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
What was said: "Obama to reverse some limits on federal funding of stem cell research." What you will hear: "Obama has decreed that baby killing is legal"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(694)
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Hunter safety instructor finds himself in the crosshairs of controversy after ordering all "liberals" from his class
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(419)
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Lawmaker adds an exclamation point to the Oklahoma state flag and gets more attention than the rest of his four-year legislative career combined. "I was just looking for a way to improve our image."
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Cook County Sheriff says hoax email has gone viral, showing really cool, high-tech, comfy-looking 'new Cook County prison'. (w/pics) It's on the internet, it must be true
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
A naked man going wild in the bathroom, Kid Rock fighting a fan, and an urn of ashes are just some of things you might find at a Waffle House near you
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Dear Brian Williams of NBC Nightly News: Please give us some good news. Sincerely, the viewers
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(NBC Connecticut)
 
 
 
Guy steals hundreds of dollars worth of Orbit Gum. Fabulous
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The Smoking Gun's mugshot roundup kicks off the weekend with a guy who needs longer pants (last photo is pubically NSFW)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(KSL.com)
 
 
 
Jr. high school student goes the extra mile and has sex with two different teachers... With "would not hit that" pic of one of the teahers
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
New Hampshire man arrested for head-butting a moving Jeep
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Threatening to punch the principal of your high school on Facebook is a bad idea on its own, but toss in a 'Columbine' reference, that's a jailin'
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this antenna adjustment
source: dg.stuffo.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Hey, laid-off workers. The manager who fired you is having a stressful time too, you selfish pricks
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(279)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Ex-boyfriend asks for ring back. He got his ring back, all right. With hey she's kinda cute mug
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Student accidentally "discharges gun" after "holding it in his pocket."
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you drop your keys into the pit toilet, let 'em go, because man, they're gone. Oh wait, here they are in your back pocket
source: magicvalley.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Developer plans to sleep in unfurnished, unsold homes in his neighborhoods until 101 homes go under contract. Good luck with that
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Try to take your drunk girlfriend's keys to stop her from driving? That's a stabbin'
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How bad is health insurance in America? Just ask this woman who is using super glue to keep her teeth in her head
source: nbc11news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Imbecilic study looks into why musicians are such babe magnets. Fame, money and endless supplies of cocaine surrender
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Adidas and Puma manufactured the German version of the bazooka during WWII. Who throws a shoe? Honestly
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
City Councilman cleans up his yard after the Mayor orders him to--by getting rid of the junker car and turning the toilet into a planter. Ahhh, the rural South--reinforcing negative stereotypes for over 75 years
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
A new Friday tradition from our pals at TSG. This week is name the gangster (Contest ends 4pm Eastern)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(251)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Man wins Pancake eating contest, then dies: "He had really enjoyed the pancakes but then he started foaming at the mouth and went down like a sack of stones"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Canada left defenceless as snow fort forcibly torn down
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man bets friends that he could hold his breath underwater for a long period of time, continues to win the bet
source: mydeathspace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The latest victims of the recession: luxury travelers who no longer feel comfortable flaunting their wealth in public
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(285)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
If you're going to attempt to smuggle 73 bags of heroin in your waistband, don't drive around with illegal window tint
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Today's uncalled for 911 call brought to you by Jaquarious; a 5 year old kindergarten student
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
From the frozen tundra of Alaska to the lake-effect-socked streets of Chicago, FBI field offices in snow-blown towns across the nation make fun of the NY office for taking a snow day. Oh it is on
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Another person arrested after trying to impersonate a Chicago Police officer, leaving people to wonder what the lure of being a cop without being paid is
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(KDVR)
 
 
 
If you buy a condo and pour $30,000 into renovating it, it's important to make sure you actually own the place first
source: kdvr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Monsanto to Bavarian beekeeper: We set up a genetically modified test crop and a handful of bees came into our field. We own your honey
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Today's "You Might Be a Drunk If..." story comes from Dillsburg, PA where man in SUV sat stopped at stoplight for 6 cycles of the light, complete with a beer in the cupholder
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
One plus to all the pain being felt by print media these days: lots of college newspapers may be forced to shut down
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Lord Mandelson is used to having strange people chuck their filthy custard all over him, but they usually buy him a drink first"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
$700,000 of the missing Iraq reconstruction money was apparently spent on Dung
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
French feminist group named "The Guard biatches" gives "Macho of the Year Award" to Catholic cardinal
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman, 20, arrested for posting phony Craigslist personal ad with photo of ex-boyfriend's junk. With mug shot goodness
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
School bus driver takes out a hit on one of her passengers
source: loudounextra.washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Fertility clinic decides to nix proposed plan for designer babies. Good thing, too, because who really wants to pay that much for a baby that's only good for one season?
source: newsblogs.chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Woman charged with having sex with men. Looking at her mugshot, the charges are likely justified
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Sexy maid service features young women in french maid uniforms, fishnet stockings and stillettos who will dust your TV and scrub your counters, but won't clean your toilet. Because that's degrading
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man holding himself
source: dg.stuffo.info   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Saudi Arabia has the world's safest roads and highways
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Java's tallest volcano erupts, spewing smoke and ash from its grande venti
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Democratic National Committee)
 
 
 
The DNC is holding a contest to decide which slogan to put on a billboard near Rush Limbaugh's house. Certainly Farkers can do better
source: democrats.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1007)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Our long national nightmare is over. TV converter box coupons flowing again
source: tech.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Armed with two misspelled signs, Obama basher says Americans are 'the stupidest people in the world'
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You know it's going to be one ugly ass pic when the headline is "Houston Zoo To Unveil OH DEAR GOD THAT IS CUTE"
source: blogs.houstonpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
If you needed another reason to ditch the morning newspaper for the internet, here it is
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man who signed contract with his underage stepdaughter to have sex three times a day can't believe cops arrested him: "Did you not see the farking contract?"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Guess who's coming to dinner
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(WFAA)
 
 
 
Prosecutor receives kidney from rival defense attorney after learning they have the same blood type: cold
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Daydreaming
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Reason Magazine)
 
 
 
The International War on Drugs: Celebrating 100 years of failure and futility
source: reason.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(212)
 


Thu March 05, 2009
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
At the end of his bachelor party, man finds himself handcuffed at the feet of a female cop. Except she was a real cop and the cuffs weren't fluffy. "I killed 10 farking Taliban. I don't have to put up with this s. . .."
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Due to "health and safety risks", teachers in Nanny State not allowed to chase 4-year-olds who leave school to wander around woods and busy highways
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
H & R block tax preparer incorrectly writes down customer's bank account number. Refund goes into wrong account, police tell customer there's nothing they can do about the missing $2,700
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Scottish ministers to launch new anti-alcoholism campaign as soon as the room stops spinning and they work out where they are
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Sometimes God tells you to help the less fortunate. In this guy's case, God told him to beat his roommate with a baseball bat and shoot him three times. God works in mysterious ways
source: recordnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Idaho Statesman)
 
 
 
Rest easy my friends, the most famous hat in Idaho has been recovered
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Some Older Gal)
 
 
 
Teen drivers in NJ now have to put decal on car, presumably one that says, "Harass me, officer"
source: dailyrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Australian tax dollars at work: Study shows wild prawns like sexy time more than farmed prawns
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(myspace blog *sigh*)
 
 
 
Ever crave one of those Taco Town tacos you saw on SNL? Me neither, but these guys made some anyway
source: blogs.myspace.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Charlotte named second most manly city, right behind Nashville. Competition judged on frequency of monster truck rallies, popularity of tools and hardware. Charlotte leaders say, "Thank you?"
source: news14.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What do you do when you learn that a student is planning another Columbine during school hours? Lock down the schools and trap all the potential victims in with the gunman of course
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
The 10 healthiest fast food restaurants. Right, you choose these cause they're healthier. And you read the articles, too
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Armed man with toddler in apartment won't come out. Cops dress up as firefighters, pull fire alarm. Profit
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Help a nine year old rape victim get an abortion to save her life? That's an excommunicatin'
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(449)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Extreme sports for nerds
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
U.S.: Workers hit lottery jackpot, tell their bosses to fark off. UK: Workers hit lottery jackpot, vow to invest in boss's struggling business. The farking socialists
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Study finds high levels of violence in cartoons make children aggressive. Thufferin' thuccotash
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
If you're going to attempt to rob a convenience store, try to remember not to purchase an item with your debit card. Bonus: Criminal mastermind signed name "John Doe" on receipt to throw coppers off his trail
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Self-immolating Tibetan monk "came back to life after 12 hours' treatment" says Chinese physician who has apparently discovered a Lazarus pit
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Dad tells 17 year old son to get his lazy ass off the floor. Son moves to couch. Truck crashes into home. Son is safe. The real news here is that a teenager actually listened to his parent
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Daily Yomiuri)
 
 
 
Japanese high school teacher in big trouble for forcing his female student to wear maid costume in art club, allowing club members to take pics of her
source: yomiuri.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Horses tamed much earlier than previously thought, typically using technique demonstrated in article's second picture
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
In another incident that will make you weep for the future, police catch kids playing kick the flaming ball
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Suspect accused of shooting a detective discovers defending yourself in court looks much easier on TV. "As I stand before you today, do I appear to be a very big boy?"
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(CBS2Chicago.com)
 
 
 
Cook County, Ill., sheriff sues Craigslist for prostitution, spares no details about what's on the "Erotic Services" page
source: cbs2chicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(274)
 
(NT News)
 
 
 
Man breaks into a bar at 6 am, gets drunk and naked. It's not news, it's Ireland. (with Not safe for work arse pic)
source: ntnews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Woman finds remnants of Blue Angels crash fifty years later on Alabama beach, then things get weird
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
When Walter askes you to mark the frame zero, you mark the farking frame zero
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
In a change from all those teacher/student sex stories: Nurse practically gets a medal for helping 15 year old patient "satisfy his sexual urges"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(254)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
If you run a daycare, it's probably a good idea to see if all the kids have been picked up before locking up and leaving for the night
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Deputy Mayor of NYC tackles mugger in midtown after hearing woman's screams. Meanwhile, Chicago's Deputy Mayor is busy channeling Richie Daley's kickbacks
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Four-year-old Taiwanese boy wins a lottery, gets exclusive use of an uninhabited tropical island for 5 months; he'll get to swim in the sea, relax on the beach, and his toymaking hours will be reduced to 8 hours/day
source: in.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man tries to commit suicide, sues hospital for saving his life, wins $127 000 in damages instead
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Officer investigates report of a car in a lake by driving his patrol car into the same lake. That's some fine police work there, Lou
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
This superhero's all about watching your ass
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Not News: Magazine publishes shocking, controversial photo spread. News: National retain chain refuses to carry it, even wrapped in plastic. Fark: The magazine is "Quilter's Home"
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Semper Fi Granny. 79-year-old woman gets urgent Marine recruit letter. The few, the proud, the geriatric
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Equity trader holds "team-building exercise" that entails dressing his female staff in bunny costumes and having them play "Borat's biatches". Surprisingly, some people had a problem with this
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Group of workers win $216 million Mega Millions lottery jackpot. Lawsuit from co-workers in 5..4..3
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Couple arrested for sex in public park. With mug shot "goodness"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Bill Ayers and Ward Churchill meet to discuss finding a third person to round out their Asses of Evil group
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN: "The upside of moving back into your parents' basement". Back?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(194)
 
(WCBS 880)
 
 
 
California thieves get bright idea and hijack truckload of light bulbs
source: wcbs880.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Moron attempts to rob gun store; with predictable results
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Artist seeks 20 vagina owners to make plaster casts of their vaginas, to complete sculpture featuring 200 vaginas called "Design a Vagina" to comment on trend of "designer vaginas". Vagina vagina vagina (NSFW)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(274)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Illinois legislative committee approves use of medical marijuana. In other news, Blockbuster reports increased rentals of "Airheads" and "Encino Man", and stock in Frito-Lay up $24 a share
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Former police dispatcher with narcolepsy sues after being fired. She's asking for...*ZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Greyhound bus killer found not criminally responsible because he was a head case with severed ties to reality
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Woman to Canadian tax agency: "I'm not dead." Canadian tax agency: "Madame, I can't talk to you, I have to talk to the executor of the estate"
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
What would you do for a Klondike bar?
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Some guy)
 
 
 
How can anyone survive on less than $400,000/yr? A touching tale of sacrifice and commitment from a destitute couple in New York......I think there's something in my eye
source: articles.moneycentral.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(421)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
America: Police falsely raid your home, kill you, and plant pounds of marijuana. Sweden: Police falsely raid your home, break your hash pipe, and so buy you a new one
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
It'th never a good idea to rob the plathe where you uthed to work, but that goeth double if you have a "dithtinctive lithp"
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: The top news stories of 2050
source: hoboken411.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Armed men steal contraceptives in Indonesia. Police find the idea inconceivable
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Survey reveals that most Britons have lied about the books they've read, though apparently they all tell the truth when taking surveys
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Case of woman who had botox treatments and left without paying is raising eyebrows. Which is more than the woman can do now. Police hope to develop new wrinkles in the case soon
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(O-tay)
 
 
 
Alfalfa blamed for latest salmonella outbreak, Buckwheat's tragic demise
source: nonpareilonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(union leader)
 
 
 
Yet another case of lead contamination caused by Wal-Mart
source: unionleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(The Stranger)
 
 
 
Woman dials 911 nightly for two years to report gay disco in progress
source: slog.thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
When a man offers his girlfriend some tongue, this generally isn't what he means
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Firefighter company returns from emergency call to find their firehouse on fire. C.D. Bales unavailable for comment
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Michael Jackson sent to eye, ear, nose and nose and nose and throat specialist for health checkup to prove his fitness to perform series of London concerts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Moran arrested for child porn. Good. Good arrested for looking at kid's johnson. Johnson arrested with pics of kid in leathers. Leathers arrested with more, I see. Morici arrested too. Moran
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(Halifax Courier)
 
 
 
'I was aiming for neighbour's cat,' says man who hit off-duty cop's car with brick
source: halifaxcourier.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Think your school was tough? This one has sewage in its canteen sink and dog poo in its water, and the kids have to wade through crocodiles to get to class
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British Nationalized Healthcare to Terminal Cancer Patients: No Life Prolonging Drugs for You, They Cost too Much
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Chicago Tribune readers have submitted their top title choices for Blagojevich's biography, and they all suck. Caption a better title
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
To prevent gang violence in western Sydney pubs, signs will be placed advising patrons they must not wear colors "depicting them as being a member of any group"
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Journal Star)
 
 
 
"Hi, I"m here to pick up your giant sack of $145,000 in cash." Hey wow, you don't look like the regular guy, and you're here at that wrong time. Anyway, here you go"
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Sports by Brooks)
 
 
 
NBA player holding donor drive in Manhattan to find bone marrow transplant for little girl with "aggressive" leukemia
source: sportsbybrooks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Denmark's K gallery
source: static.worldarchitecturenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Female teacher gets who looks like Al Swearengen from "Deadwood" gets 10 years in prison for acting out his favorite word
source: grandforksherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
"It feels like a tremendous weight has been lifted off of me", says woman whose arm was amputated after drug reaction
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Tugboat captain wearing only a T-shirt, a sweater and pajama bottoms falls off his boat into frigid waters while taking a pee. "It felt terrible."
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
And you thought your job interview was hard - at this company you have to be shot in the chest and survive before they'll consider your application
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Cue the lawsuit. Atlanta woman finds "mammal bone" in her blue M&M's. (with photo of the offending bone)
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Deadbeats are more likely to answer a collection call if it's made by a woman with a sexy voice - especially if she has a British accent. "They think Elizabeth Hurley is on the other end."
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Decorated war hero and marksman returns home from Iraq and applies for a gun license. State refuses request on grounds of PTSD
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 200: "Lights, Camera, Action...Freeze" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(273)
 


Wed March 04, 2009
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
What do you do when you find a cobra wrapped around your leg in your car? Keep driving, man
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Bailiff Protip: When you have a man suspected of stabbing his girlfriend to death brought to your courtroom, and the suspect's mom tells you he's carrying a weapon, consider searching him before placing him near the judge
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Prosecutor: We are prepared to prove that the defendant attacked officers, who then beat and arrested him. Defense attorney: We have the surveilance tape, proving otherwise. Prosecutor: Oh? Never mind then
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Some Guys)
 
 
 
Photoshop this airborne assault
source: s.wsj.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Grandmother has been mysteriously burping uncontrollably for two years. "I've got no life know, it's making me depressed to be trapped in my home."
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Couple kicked out of month-long sex party at nudist colony because they weren't naked enough. With bonus photo proving the reality isn't as cool as what you're picturing in your head
source: cairns.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Next: on a very special episode of Japanese Parliament; the Prime Minister tearfully confesses "I can't READ"
source: fe12.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(192)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Don't you just hate it when you're trying to plant blackcurrant bushes and dig up a 19th-century grave instead? Yeah, me too. At least they caught it before it ate the house
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
$324 million bank heist starts with a bogus English lord, adds Belgian hackers, a Japanese bank, a Swedish businesswoman in the Canary Islands, eastern European Mafia and a Middle Eastern sheik. Then it gets complicated
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Cutest ugly-ass orphaned baby otter you will see all day
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
New Hampshire businessman says we should all stop paying our mortgages. And while were're at it, stockpile some guns and ammo
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(287)
 
(Some Government Cheese)
 
 
 
Bill proposes mandatory 10 hour 'divorce classes' costing up to $2000, even if a couple wants to file a no-fault divorce and just get the hell on with their lives
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
Barbecue fans that originated recipe for the bacon-wrapped, bacon-stuffed log of sausage will rightfully get six-figure book deal
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Police impersonating has gotten so bad in Chicago, the Cops offer this advice: "Obviously we can't tell them not to stop for the police, but to pick an area they feel is safe"
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Chicago authorities still have no idea who tossed placentas into sewer system, but media continues to fetus new stories anyway
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
New survey says the best way to save your marriage is to have sex three times a week, preferably with your spouse
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Daily Stab)
 
 
 
You know tattoos have officially jumped the shark when Barbie has one
source: dailystab.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
School district screws up sale of classroom trailers on eBay by accidentally selling one for $1, but on the bright side they now have an answer when students ask when they'll ever need math in real life
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Are you eligible for one of the new federal mortgage relief programs? Or are you just going to have to suck it? Take this brief interactive quiz
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(335)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Pregnant woman passes out, has heart attack, dies, has open heart surgery, goes into a coma, gives birth a week later, and doesn't remember a thing. Ta da
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Excuse me, ma'am, your chips are ringing
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
You think your neighbors new fence sucks? Imagine having a two-mile long train with bright yellow cars cutting your city in half. "It's like the Berlin Wall. Every day when I go out to get my paper, I get madder and madder"
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
People are turning to fortune tellers for advice during tough economic times. Who could have seen that coming?
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
"Punking" Ontario's Premier as he's being asked about job losses at steel plant might not be such a good idea
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: Times are tough, so photoshop some unlikely ways to save a few bucks
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Commander of Israeli Navy spotted in Tel Aviv strip bar, apologizes to chief of military, explains stripping was the only way he could put himself through the Naval academy
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
President Barack Obama will order martial law this year, the United States will split into six rump-states before 2011, and Russia and China will become the backbones of a new world order
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(525)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
University displays letter from Edgar Allan Poe where he apologizes to his publishers for drinking too much and for keeping a raven in his house that just won't stop squawking
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
1) Call yourself a pre-op transsexual, 2) Threaten lawsuit against owner of women-only gym, 3a) Profit, and 3b) get to use girls' locker room
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(358)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Today's wacky Facebook story is brought to you by a firefighter who rescued a family from their burning home and then described them as stupid, selfish bastards for setting their house on fire and robbing him of his sleep
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(St. Joseph News-Press)
 
 
 
Historian apologizes for saying County flag looks "designed by a third grader;" judging from photo, he could be right
source: charleston.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Need to see your doctor? Sure. Right after you sign this gag order promising never to talk to anyone about what an idiot he is
source: fe23.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Woman manages to get captain to stop an airplane on the ground so she can use the bathroom. In appreciation, she leaves the bathroom and punches the flight attendant in the nose. Then it gets weird
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Rapist requests death penalty because he fears getting raped in prison
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(368)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Carpenters face higher-than-average asbestos death rate, higher-than-average resurrection rate
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Some Hawaiian Bintlet)
 
 
 
Ugly ass Bintlets born at Honolulu Zoo. WTF is a Bintlet? (w/pics)
source: honoluluadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Eagle busts through trucker's windshield in Nevada, tells driver to take it easy
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Rescue crews call off rescue of coyote that fell into Lake Michigan; when the rescue chief was asked why efforts were stopped, he blinked, said "beep beep" and sped off
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Oregon high school students have their play canceled due to complaints from hysterically over-reactive parents. Local college hears about it says "Hey, we have a theater, why don't you do it here?"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(241)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Asking a border guard to be polite? That's a pepper sprayin'
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(315)
 
(News 5)
 
 
 
Astoundingly, some prisoners told to come back to jail when there's room for them just aren't coming back
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Not news: Right-wing British political party issues anti-immigration election poster featuring a Spitfire and the slogan "Battle for Britain". Fark: The plane was from a Polish squadron
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Here's to you, Mr. Fired After Being Caught Participating in a Bike Race Whilst on Sick Leave From Work and Having the Balls to Sue for Wrongful Termination. Even if you lost
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Welcome to Vermont. Please tear down your house and leave because there used to be a road here 200 years ago and we want it back
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Actual newspaper poll question: "Is it a good idea to marry a serial killer?"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
"Hi, can you tell me where the Arts building is?" "Make a right at the campus graveyard"
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Thanks to American drug users, Mexico's drug cartels have enough money to support a 100,000-man army of soldiers
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(615)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
International Criminal Court issues warrant for Sudanese president's arrest. Sudan: BWAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA get the fark out
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Man markets Christian salt to stand against the cabal that markets kosher salt. Customers dismayed it's only available in pillar form
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(182)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Tree is cut down, falls onto a parking meter, which drove a live wire into the ground, which electrified plumbing, which melted the solder, which flooded the home
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
A positive outcome of the bad economy: In order to offset losses due to smoking bans, Illinois casinos want to be allowed to serve free drinks. Thats change we can guzzle down
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Cops have been called to Octomom's house 8 times for problems ranging from locking a kid in a room to losing one of them. Good thing she doesn't have 8 new ones to keep track of
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Britain's first WMD: An Elizabethan cannon that could punch a hole through four inches of solid oak (w/photos)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"Atheist theories are absurd." This coming from a man who wears a folded napkin on his head, rides around in a fishtank on the back of a Mercedes, and prays to a man who is his own father
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(978)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Lone survivor tells what happened to his NFL boatmates after they capsized in the Gulf of Mexico. Apparently they took their life jackets off and swam to the end zone
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(201)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Starbucks employee makes venti latte with an extra shot
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
How not to impress someone who wants to buy your airplane during a test flight: Leave the controls incorrectly set, turn off all hydraulics, nose-dive 10,000 feet
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
Deputy, I don't mean to bother you while you're eating your hashbrowns, but isn't your prisoner getting away?
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Mountain)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lady-leaping landscape
source: faculty.physics.tamu.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Worker sews lips together to demand promotion. Management speechless
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Store clerk hangs onto thieves' car hood for "several blocks" to retrieve stolen 36-pack of beer, complains he wasn't even supposed to be here today
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Some Guy)
 
Video
 
Judge: Shut your d----ed mouth; Defendant: Fark You: Judge: 120 years. Next
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Police find 100 grams of marijuana stuffed inside a woman's bra. Talk about nipping it in the bud
source: pantagraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Some swashbuckler)
 
 
 
Pro tip: Don't take your machete to the mall
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
It's appauling that a university is conferringo a degree like this. By George, you might as well throw it in the john
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Tasmanian company making paper out of wombat poo. It's either green or gold depending on when wombat poo is harvested. Company is pleased with the quality and texture of the wombat poo paper. In other news, wombat poo is fun to say
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
... so here's a sake-drinking Baikal seal with a towel on his head
source: mdn.mainichi.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British police fly to Philadelphia to get top tips from U.S. cops. And their first lesson? Where to get the best doughnuts
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Wal-Mart drug bust goes wrong when suspects try to rob undercover officers instead of selling drugs. And then things really spin out of control
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
China turns destruction left by last year's massive earthquake, including collapsed school, into tourist attraction and plans never to clean it up. FEMA intrigued by their ideas, would like to subscribe to the newsletter
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Latest indicator that the economy is in trouble: people are using counterfeit bills to buy Girl Scout Cookies
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
If you thought British food was crappy before, you haven't read this
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"Dogs ate my penis." Your dog wants tube steak
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Doctor accused of using thermos to attack man. Oh, I'm swinging out a thermos for you
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man finds ten human teeth in wallet at Walmart. That's just decadent
source: capecodonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this parachute system failure
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
If you're going to hide an engagement ring in your girlfriend's food, propose before your friends challenge her to an eating contest
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 


Tue March 03, 2009
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What is sure to fire up the greatest debate on Fark for 2009... Man gets run over while standing in a parking spot, saving it for his wife
source: news-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(278)
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
Gunman enters home of elderly couple and robs them of their money and jewelry. Just kidding, they refused to give him money so he grabs two bundles of toilet paper and runs off
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Just say no, especially when it comes to a teenager who keeps sending you nude photos and you're her assistant principal
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(News 10 ABC Sacramento)
 
 
 
Retiree: I don't know how this meth got into my hollow cane
source: news10.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Straits Times)
 
 
 
Passengers complain about "Porn Plane," sticky seats
source: straitstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(185)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Don't you hate it when your mom kicks you out of your house for using drugs and then makes a fortune writing a book about it?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Caption these Kazakh hunters
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Young Germans prefer ze Internet to real life partners, because YouTube lets you be totally angry and flip out and you become famous and admired instead of being charged vis var crimes, like in ze old days
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Mouse decapitation at Chuck E. Cheese, where a dad can be a douche
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Stalkers are using cellphones to "textually harass" others. Next up, "textual misconduct", "textually transmitted diseases" and "homotextuals"
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
45 things to do in France this summer. Well, 44 once you get past 'Surrender'
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Practical uses for an Oscar statuette
source: adgoog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Turns out engineer of doomed Metrolink train would sometimes let teens run the locomotive. Scary tag doesn't even begin to cover it
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(The Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
"Sir, if you don't stop punching yourself, you're going to get tased"
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(WSAZ West Virginia)
 
 
 
Having obviously solved all other social ills, lawmakers in West Virginia contemplate banning Barbie Doll
source: wsaz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man who robbed gas station made no threats, displayed no gun, simply offered an apology as he fled with a fistful of cash. Authorities on the lookout for a Canadian
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
British women who have babies by IVF can name anyone, man or woman, on the birth certificate. Expect lots of kids with the last name "Obama," "Beckham" or "Cleese"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Corpus Christi Caller-Times)
 
 
 
Protip: when in possesion of several bags of weed, do not leave your firebird unattended, door wide open, bass thumping, in the parking lot of a convenience store
source: caller.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(NBC Washington)
 
 
 
DC bus driver gets off his bus, gives McGruff the Crime Dog a beatdown in front of a bunch of kids, then gets back on his bus and drives away
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(not Drew)
 
 
 
Spanish inquisitions, Chinese fire drills and disproving Galileo: Headlines of the Week 2/22 to 2/28
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
America's contribution to Mesopotamian culture: Tramp stamps and tribal tattoos
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Talk radio callers outraged, OUTRAGED I say, over Obama sipping a beer at an NBA game
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(800)
 
(Asheville Citizen Times)
 
 
 
After keeping us citizens safe from the dangers of marijuana, officers decide celebrating with a beer while still on duty is a much safer alternative
source: citizen-times.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Oregon arsonist only targets green Ford Escorts, making the world a better place
source: ktvl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Vator.tv)
 
 
 
Will group dating appeal to over 30 year olds? Cougars let out a roar
source: vator.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Education appointee sends friends an e-mail saying Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles always smile because they don't know they're black. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this
source: silive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(192)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Teen steals a truck because he had to make a court date and didn't trust anyone else to give him a ride
source: greensummitdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Researchers find that children rated as impulsive by kindergarten teachers are more likely to begin gambling behaviors before they hit middle school. 3-to-1 this study's BS
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Following the footsteps of the Marlboro Man, the Winston man dies of cancer
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
After being told there were no more McNuggets, woman dials 911 -- three times
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(293)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Possibly the coolest 360° panoramic photos of Paris you'll see today (France, not Hilton)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Ugly ass armadillo born at Minnesota Zoo. Ugly ass pic? You betcha
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
ProTip: When trying to impersonate a police officer you need more than a white Crown Victoria equipped with a spotlight and then it's not a good idea to follow a real police car
source: naplesnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Going grocery shopping with your children? The Nanny State won't let you buy any alcohol then, because you might give it to them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Bacon is not over. Long live bacon
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Drug dealers switching from cocaine to viagra, enjoy 2000 % profit margin increase
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
NYPD lieutenant sues after his gun and badge were seized after he saw a demon
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Ice
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
After reading about so many other teachers getting arrested for having sex with their students this teacher decided to play it safe, stick with phone sex. Apparently, that's not allowed either
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Step 1: Sign up for Facebook. Step 2: Get bullied by former high school classmates. Step 3: Profit
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
"Your rape complaint will not be investigated further. Here, have some rape"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
When sledding down a steeply inclined driveway you really should make sure you have a plan to stop before you hit the street and especially before you reach the car driving by
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
People who used to be rich are now seeking help from local food banks. Woman who is currently paying on a $350,000 condominium: "You keep thinking you're an intelligent person. I had so much. How did I lose it?"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(297)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man attempts to squash police pursuit with frozen produce. Lettuce hope this dangerous man doesn't turnip on our streets
source: times-age.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Pupil walks out of class after complaining that anti-racist American novel is racist
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(283)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Boy fails to acheive "Orientation" merit badge, wins badges in "Hide and Seek" and "Staying Warm Like a Hobo" instead
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
"I can do what I want. I live in America," says woman who put up a sign offering to rent three rooms to whites only
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(565)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Congratulations, Portland Oregon: Thanks to high depression and suicide rates, your city has been ranked the unhappiest city in America
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
Driver says his car sometimes swerves at pedestrians then makes a U turn to try again. Something in the suspension
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Schrödinger's Bong
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Panama City News Herald)
 
 
 
"Some scenarios law officers just can't be trained for, such as finding a bag of marijuana produced from the rectal area of a female recently engaged in coitus with another female"
source: baycrime.freedomblogging.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
In 2007, 1 in 31 American adults were either in prison and/or playing for the Cincinnati Bengals
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Doing 'shrooms is usually fun, except when your best friend passes out, and the cops arrive, and you accidentally break a bottle on your friend's arm,and then you freak out and jump on the back of the cop trying to aid your friend
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"Vancouver's urban landscape has become the target of a worldwide craze that is taking knitting and crocheting out of granny's kitchen and onto the street in the stitching version of graffiti" (pic)
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
In a plan that would probably take a good year to complete, lawmaker wants to fill up all of Arizona's abandoned mine shafts with old tires
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Vomit-filled sinks, mould on ceilings, rusty shower rails and stained bedclothes. The Sun is there with a list of the 10 Worst Hotels in England
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these bending balustraded balconies
source: behance.vo.llnwd.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
3/3/09 - Happy Square Root Day
source: pantagraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(236)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
People who moved to the suburbs to get away from the big city life are outraged a neighbor would have the nerve to build a structure that resembles a big red barn. "As a neighbor, he's spitting in our face."
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Honolulu Advertiser)
 
 
 
The Japanese Emperor may be coming to Hawaii; and he is most displeased with our apparent lack of progress
source: honoluluadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 


Mon March 02, 2009
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this IT tech festooned with work
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Blagojevich gets six-figure deal to write book, hopefully not on male hair care
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
If you're going to ride your motorcycle at 122 MPH in the rain with your 14 year-old son hanging on the back, don't buzz by a police car equipped with a speed camera
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
You could be guilty of child abuse if your kid gets a glimpse of that Playboy hidden under your mattress
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(284)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Gandhi's sandals and eyeglasses to be sold at auction this week, expected to fetch between $20K and $30K. What a fraud--he claimed to be poor, yet could afford $20K sandals
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Burlington Free Press)
 
 
 
Man wearing camouflage hit by car
source: burlingtonfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Finally, Louisiana is #1 at something
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(245)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
"What do you mean? This gun is perfectly safe. Here, let me point it at my foot and pull the trigger to show you"
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(228)
 
(king5)
 
 
 
Parents confront alleged voyeur at high school dance competition: "I admit it. I'm a pervert. Can you let go of me?" Bonus: asks for his dignity back
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(391)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British driver receiving counseling to cure his phobia of speed cameras, which make him pull over to stop his panic attacks. Oddly has no problem with driving on the wrong side of the road
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(45)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
CIA destroyed 92 video tapes of terror suspect interrogations after initially claiming no such recordings existed. Fortunately, ACLU lawyers just downloaded copies from Gnutella
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(206)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Callers to new phone service can leave God an answering machine message, now giving people two ways for God to ignore them
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(250)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Adding insult to injury
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(50)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
It's never a good idea to illegally poach deer. Especially if you're an on-duty state trooper
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