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Sun February 15, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Man with a history of DUIs bypasses the court-ordered Breathalyzer in his vehicle by renting a car. Would have gotten away with it if he hadn't crashed into a pole while drunk
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Am farking from bar with blackberry. What is a good line I can use on the girl sitting next to me? (VE)
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(527)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Hugo Chavez declares victory on referendum to forever allow him to declare victory
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(363)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
Police department's reverse 911 system accidentally drunk-dials the citizens of San Diego, tells them to stay classy
source: www3.signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Peanut Corporation of America files for bankruptcy. NUTS
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
... so here's an elk with a barstool on its head
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Loaded college house party beer pong champ finds loaded 12-gauge shotgun in the bedroom. Hilarity ensues
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"They don't all understand risk management as well as they should because they all got busted when they came to prison, but when it comes to execution and marketing - they get it"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Prisoner excused from court appearance because nobody wants to ride in the transport van with him and his dysfunctional bowel
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vintage truck part
source: mydogscrap.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
"Marriage couldn't be more unattractive - the number of us getting hitched has slumped to the lowest level since records began, 150 years ago. By next year, it's predicted that singletons will be in the majority"
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(448)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The supergun that kills from a mile away -- and the camouflaged crackshots using it against the Taliban
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(321)
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
You know a date has farked up when a SWAT team is sent in to finish it off
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Delivery of flowers and candy in suburban Denver city nabs unsuspecting fugitives. For the eighth year in a row
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Nazis in Color (one pic is NSFW)
source: community.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(452)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Two fads combine into one pointillist display of awesome
source: thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
'Art Instinct' theorizes we may be hard-wired by nature to create. Now you have an excuse for your four-volume Han Solo/Chewbaca slash fic cycle
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man is charged after throwing soda can at woman's head. She'll be fine, it was a soft drink
source: fayobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Pilot had Buffalo plane set on "auto-crash" before it went down
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(256)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Caption of the year: "The couple in happier times, before Hassan removed his wife's head"
source: blogs.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(282)
 
(Sound and Motion)
 
 
 
13 yr-old boy may not be the father of 15 yr-old's newborn daughter after all when it is revealed that she's been having sex with seven other boys. We're gonna need Maury Povich to sort this one out
source: livenews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The top fashion buzzwords during the current time of economic hardship are "Chiconomics" and "Michelle Obama", or so says the Global Language Monitor. In related news, there's a Global Language Monitor
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It's been 25 years since one of the worst hatchet jobs in music history. But the 'Tap is still standing, and has big plans
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(News Of The World)
 
 
 
Prince Harry fails his first flight exam, will get extra tutoring and be allowed to re-take it until he passes. It's good to be the prince
source: newsoftheworld.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Nevada the latest state to discover that expansive and draconian federally mandated sex-offender registration programs may be too expensive to enforce, may ditch the program. If it happens in Vegas, don't tell mommy
source: lasvegassun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
28 year old female teacher, basketball coach, arrested for having sex with a 14 year old she was tutoring at her home. This headline would normally involve a "ball handling" pun but the 14 year old she had sex with was, alas, a female
source: sunherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
So?
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Aliens among us
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Stunt rider copies Steve McQueen's motorcycle jump from "The Great Escape", using an old-fashioned motorcycle and modern brass balls (with video spiffiness)
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
We've replaced these Pepsi twelve packs with eight packs for the same price. Let's see if anyone notices
source: marketingshift.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(Some Stoner)
 
 
 
California lawmakers come up with brilliant idea to solve state's debt: legalize marijuana. In related news: Doritos to open a new packaging and distribution plant in California
source: thebigmoney.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Growing coyote population challenge hunters, boon to ACME sales
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
Sometimes ice fishing isn't about catching fish. Sometimes it's about the ice shack, baby. Ice shack
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Lawmakers, industry in accord after salmonella outbreak. Well, there's too darn many of them to fit in a Civic
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
Living near windmills can cause "wind turbine syndrome." Symptoms include nausea, back problems, mood disorders, seizures, hunger, sleepiness, daylight, nighttime
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
38 year old woman arrested for having sex with a 15 year old boy in October forgets what the "G" in the GPS monitoring system stands for, is arrested again - with the boy in her car - when she pays him a pre-Valentines Day visit
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
When letting an exec play at your high-roller tables, you should probably make sure the money he's using is his
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Sam Adams)
 
 
 
Oregon plans 1900% increase in beer tax. Next up: stamp tax
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(The Earth Times)
 
 
 
Jordanian man dresses as a donkey to protest Valentine's Day celebrations, makes a complete ass of himself
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(UKMedix)
 
 
 
If you're in Singapore, don't take the counterfeit Viagra branded "Santi Bovine Penis Erecting Capsule"
source: ukmedix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Some Ax)
 
 
 
Police in South Carolina stage "Guns for Roses" program. Welcome to the jungle
source: wmtw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Sheriff Joe Arpaio arrests 72 on Valentine's Day for "Operation Tough Love." Planned for the future: "Operation Immigration Easter Egg Hunt"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Mayor of Mexico City decides to improve his chances of re-election by addressing government corruption, drug cartels, kidnapping, and poverty. Nah, I'm just messin' with ya, he's handing out free Viagra
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Research indicates that people who live on tree-lined streets tend to live happier lives, are less likely to be crime victims, and more likely to be admired via binocular-toting pervs in conveniently-located trees
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Mike's Sydney apartment
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Awkward moments in history
source: pbs.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British retailers to alter children's clothes sizes in order to account for new generation of obese kids
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Aussies panic as Virgin goes down on them
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Australia has 5 new 'mega-lift' ambulances to haul your fat ass around. Next up: forklifts and flatbed trucks, you whale
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Man acquitted of trying to drug his date after using innovative "she asked me to put this drug in her drink while she was in the restauraunt bathroom" defense
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you just robbed a bank, and you're worried that authorities know what you're wearing, taking off all your clothes isn't the best way to avoid unwanted attention
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 


Sat February 14, 2009
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Salman Rushdie dating a woman who has either a caterpillar collection or Sharpie fetish
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this guy wearing a gas mask
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Anyone can pee their name in the snow, but can you write your name with your voice?
source: zefrank.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A collection of light graffiti
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Off-duty Baltimore cop at Looney's Pub slices open man's face by punching him while holding a beer bottle, because he was crazy enough to interrupt the cop while he was harassing two women in his group
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Farmer who died of cancer is laid to rest by his llama army
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It doesn't matter if you hate hockey or sports in general. Just listen to this NHL announcer's ridiculously awesome goal calls
source: faniq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(The Register Citizen)
 
 
 
Husband rummages through contents of Dumpster to find wife's wedding ring ... with awwwww Valentine's Day sweetness photo
source: registercitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: The next step in human evolution
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Clown Car Update: No more publicist, now she has an agent. Presumably, California assistance laws will not pay for a publicist, but will pay for an agent. Bonus: Same agent as Pastor Rick Warren
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(214)
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
One industry that's not looking for a government bailout: Mardi Gras beads... because as we all know, women don't usually flash their boobs for mortgages
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Folks irked by Obama coins that are simply stickers placed on 50-cent pieces
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(391)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Nearly 90 percent of kids claim their parents 'swear inappropriately' in front of them. Ungrateful little f*&%ers
source: dailyexpress.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
"A 41-year-old transgender woman pleaded guilty Thursday to reckless homicide for exercising her 73-year-old husband to death."
source: cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Some Dirt Bike Rider)
 
 
 
Remember riding dirt bikes as a kid? Yeah, well, your kids won't
source: blogs.dirtrider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(308)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Researcher says the first sweet kisses of courtship may provide important information on mating. More research is obviously necessary. How YOU doing?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Scientists say chocolate could become as rare and expensive as caviar. Behold, the Cocoa Wars have begun
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Norman Transcript)
 
 
 
New ordinance says that anyone in Norman, OK who can't prove they did not litter will have to pay up to a $750 fine... with the exception of City Council members, who can tear up the Constitution without a problem
source: normantranscript.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
If you're a 45 year old woman who wants to have sex with an underage high school student but, unfortunately, you're not one of his teachers do you: C) call the office pretending to be his mom to check him out of school when you want some
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Man jailed after confrontation with his wife and his mistress, is released just in time for Valentine's Day
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(ZDNet)
 
 
 
Mexico to create national fingerprint register of all cell phone users in order to deter kidnappers
source: news.zdnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Joe Torre, safe from the reach of Darth Steinbrenner, continues his carpet bombing of the Yankee mystique
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Canadians suddenly learn that they live in a police state, where surfing for midget pr0n is no longer safe from Big Brother's eyes
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
One bright spot about the recession: it gives men an excuse not to be forced to buy meaningless Valentine's Day gifts
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Police forcibly hospitalize seven-year-old in mental ward against his parents' wishes, because he threw a tantrum in his second-grade class
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(247)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
More and more Germans taking performance enhancing drugs to get them through a day at work. Subby is more traditional, and is sticking with Beer, the breakfast of champions
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Make a Valentine's Day card
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Man writes children's hunting books such as 'Little Jake and the Three Bears' where one of the bears does not come out of the hunt well, but his skin keeps Little Jake toasty through the next winter
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Not news: Photographer has first exhibition in Seattle. News: Exhibit gets rave reviews. FARK: Photographer is a cat. Happy Caturday
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(643)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
An upside to being a Customs and Border Patrol agent is that you can pick up a housekeeper for your mom real cheap
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Atlanta pre-kindergartens stop giving out slots to kids whose parents camp out for three days to get them. Tag is for mom and dad
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Citroen DS named most beautiful car ever
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(209)
 
(MLive)
 
 
 
"I'm thinking, 'Michigan ... February ... and I got a dead alligator"
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
On top of smoke and flames, sometimes firemen have to deal with drunk hotel guests. "She was mooning the firefighters, asking to see their penises."
source: adn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Video posted on YouTube of guy stealing bicycle from university campus. Bonus: Guy is senior dean of College of Medicine
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(WYFF 4)
 
 
 
Can I get a Big Mac, fries, a Coke, a concussion, a broken nose and a swollen jaw?
source: wyff4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Barack and Obama not the only weird names given to Alberta babies this year
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Most Americans: "Who the hell is Rutherford B. Hayes?" Paraguayans: "He's our national hero"
source: fe21.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
PB&J day is March 4 at the Georgia capitol. What could possibly go wrong?
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Some Car Guy)
 
 
 
GM's problems haven't stopped them from building a 17 foot tall replica of Bumblebee for the Chicago Auto Show
source: seriouswheels.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 


Fri February 13, 2009
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Amazing pictures of the annual Tibetan Prayer Festival. Bloody beaten peasants and Chinese troops with tear gas noticeably absent
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Last survivor of the Titantic is having to sell her relics of doomed ship to pay for her nursing care
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Forgetting it's not a dot com, government contractor Blackwater Security changes its name to Xe to improve its brand identity. Wait, what?
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Man arrested for smuggling coral through Oregon. Police charged him with possession of reefer
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Protip. When an employee of yours finds a large sum of money don't fire him and keep it for yourself
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Fresno Bee)
 
 
 
2-4-6-8 Everybody urinate. High school cheerleaders will be subjected to drug testing just like athletes
source: fresnobee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Taser inventor dies. I'm stunned
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
News: 40 year old woman abducted from bus stop manages to escape, gives description to 911. Kidnapper is immediately caught in his car with his pants unzipped and physically aroused. Fark: Woman is blind, deaf and mute
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
500 lb. manatee rescued from golf course pond. Phil Mickelson unavailable for comment
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
How not to start a drag race
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Friday mug shot bonus: Young South Carolinians busted in Michael Phelps Bonggate
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
San Francisco welcomes back its favorite mascot: an eight-foot healthy penis. (with pictures and we can't make this crap up)
source: nbcbayarea.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Thieves steal $60K after learning how to trick an ATM to dispense double the money. "Officials are not disclosing exactly what the thieves did to manipulate the ATM"
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
It's all fun and games until someone loses an earlobe
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Hundreds of Chicagoans to don Snuggies for massive pub crawl. Ze beer goggles, zey do nothing
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Ask your doctor if Grenadinex is right for you. Side effects are rare, and may include ringing in the ears, headache, dismemberment, and dry mouth
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
White powder mailed to sheriff's office discovered to be pudding mix, included when man wrote out his parking fine check on a messy kitchen table
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Austin News KXAN)
 
 
 
"There's been a bomb threat. Everyone please evacuate the school...except you, special-ed kids"
source: kxan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(245)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Deciding they have more pressing matters to attend to, the Montana legislature tables a bill to establish an official state pancake
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
The Utah government falls victim to the Nigerian internet scam. "It sounds like any kid could have done this"
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Gaillardia aristata
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Time lapse between plane crash and "flying is still safer than driving" articles has increased a bit. Let's pick up the pace, media
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
So as not to "disrupt and alarm" the precious snowflakes, Illinois teacher will not be allowed to wear her medical mask in class
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Nothing says Love like this week's Valentine's mug shot round up
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(Some Ridger)
 
 
 
Neighbor from hell builds new house right up against another, including pushing an air conditioner out of the way to make room for a wall (w. pic)
source: beehivehairdresser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
2004: Muzzammil Hassan founds TV station to combat negative stereotyping of Muslims. 2009: Muzzammil Hassan beheads wife
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(348)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
Lexington 10th Anniversary Fark Party: TONIGHT 6pm at Redmons - not surprisingly Drew will be there
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man jailed after harrassing elderly neighbours by whistling Addams Family theme each time he saw them
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
For those keeping score: Number of arrests in Michael Phelps case: 8. Number of arrests in peanut company salmonella case: 0
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(299)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Octuplets doctor has another patient expecting quadruplets, who is in her 40s and hospitalized without insurance. What could possibly go wrong?
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Critics don't like 'emotional support animals'. "When a customer is walking through a food store with a lizard, that doesn't give other customers the kind of assurances that they come to expect."
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
County's drain regulator asks to be fired on account of there being no drains to regulate
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Protester sets himself on fire in Calgary. Next week: Toronto man buries himself in leaves
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Well in my day, we had to walk nine miles, in the snow, up hill, both ways, every day, to save kidney dialysis patients
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Break)
 
 
 
The editors of amNewYork would like to "apologize" for "not noticing" an "optical illusion" that made Pope Benedict XVI "look like" the devil
source: media1.break.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
What better way to celebrate Lincoln's birthday than to reopen Ford's theater. BANG
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
High School where 4 teachers have recently been arrested for having sex with their students struggles with plummeting image, surging enrollment
source: www3.signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
It turns out there really is a Baberaham Lincoln. It's not news, it's MSNBC
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
When cops ask you why you ran a red light, one of the worst answers you can give them is: "Because it was red"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Birmingham-Southern College: Where you can dine at BBQ restaurants for course credit
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
High school newspaper learns an old newspaper trick: if you want to increase circulation, talk about sex
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
University of Chicago study shows children know more words when their parents use gestures. If that's the case, why do so many New Yorkers have such poor vocabularies?
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Teen "fake raped" at school while other students and coaches point and laugh. "Fake rapists" going to real prison with real rapists
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(469)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Note to school secretaries: When you call a parent to let him know his son missed classes and leave a message on his voice mail, make sure you hang up before you call him a "farking idiot" and his son a "farking fat kid"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Feeling sad on Valentine's day because you're mourning a spouse? What better way to cheer up than enjoying dinner and a show -- at a funeral home?
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Not News: Valentines Day is hard on people who cheat on spouses. Fark: This article tells you how to get away with it
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
If you're planning on proposing to your boyfriend by leaping out of a cake in a crowded restaurant wearing nothing but your underwear, you should probably make sure he'll say yes first
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Dad getting on your case over a $.60 can of cat food? Oh yeah, that's a stabbin'
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(CBS4Boston.com)
 
 
 
News: Dog gets an obituary in local paper. Fark: Now he's getting a wake at a funeral home
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
One man arrested and charged with arson for Australian bush fires; moved to a "secret location" to protect him from the haters. Cheney nods approvingly
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Use of unnecessary violence in the apprehension of swindle suspect Marc Dreier HAS been approved
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
If you are a sex-ed teacher using humor to teach your class, wearing a condom on his head and a pair of red underwear over your pants with a strategically placed hole in the middle, be prepared to be a YouTube star
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Anarchists hold speed dating event in North London. Which kind of misses the whole point of being an anarchist
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
If a shovel stands in a work zone and nobody is there to lean on it, does it still raise a fine?
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Russian warship holds three pirate boats. Pirates have already experienced rum and the lash, don't know what could possibly be worse
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
Study finds that it's easier to tell when men are interested in sex then it is to tell when women are. First sign a man is interested in sex: he is awake
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(430)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
74 year old Army doctor is on his third tour in Afghanistan
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
14 alternative Valentine's Day gifts: What will you choose? The chocolate corset? Or the machete?
source: women.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
13 old boy and 15 year old girl have a baby together, refuse to share toys
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(225)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Elite undercover crime fighting duo with complete freedom to aggressively pursue chronic criminals decide to start dealing drugs, and they would've gotten away with it if it weren't for those meddling feds
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Want to know what Experian says about your FICO score? Too bad. As of Saturday, customers will no longer have access to their credit rating scores
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(237)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fark coloring contest
source: i59.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
News: Police arrest Mafia kingpin in Naples, Italy. Fark: He has long, blonde hair, wears dresses, and insists everyone call him "Kitty"
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Another glass ceiling falls to the forces of feminism as women emerge as the new force in human trafficking
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Wish you had a pill or potion to make someone fall in love with you? Your wait may soon be over. Here comes the science
source: tuftsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man reports his stolen vehicle to police, is surprised when the police inform him that his truck stole itself, then hid across the street
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
If you live in Phoenix, make sure you have your ransom money ready
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Herd about the mom convicted of using a cattle prod to discipline her 15 yr-old daughter? It's a moooving story
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
The pitter-patter of a perky PETA pâté protest
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
"I've lived there five and a half years. I mind my own business, I don't think it's right I have to move out because I choose to smoke a cigarette"
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(649)
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Car crashes into store. It's tough to see over the dashboard when you are only four years old
source: blogs.thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Officials put probation electronic tracker on guy's artificial leg. Guy leaves the prosthetic at home, uses a spare, goes out every night anyway without being caught, says they don't have a leg to stand on
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(I-Mockery)
 
 
 
I-Mockery's annual Valentine's Day card collection. The perfect gift for that special someone you love to hate
source: i-mockery.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
12-year old girl saves ex-stepmother-to-be from being sat on
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Australian man arrested in connection with deadly brushfires. If only there were some far-off continent they could dump him
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Asparagus will hit grocery stores by the end of this week, ensuring no woman will have to go without a firm stalk and a big, tasty tip on Valentine's Day
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Reversing roles
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Shooting yourself in foot to get out of Vietnam. New hotness: Shooting yourself in foot to get out of being an Army recruiter
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Prankster sends official-looking letter from the City of Boston demanding residents put recycling bins curbside for a Friday pickup. Get it? No? Neither does anyone else
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
When science attacks
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(TMZ)
 
 
 
Octomom is spending welfare money on A) food for her children B) hospital bill C) Video Games
source: tmz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(314)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
NewsFlash
 
Continental Airlines flight 3407 from Newark crashes into home near Buffalo, NY; death toll currently at 49
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(814)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Cocaine is now cheaper than beer
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 


Thu February 12, 2009
(BBC)
 
 
 
Paris bicycle rental plan on the rocks because half the bikes were stolen or trashed during the making of YouTube videos
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
Three respected former presidents say America's war on drugs is failing and the U.S. government should break with "prohibition" policies that have achieved little more than cram its prisons and stoke violence
source: www3.signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(335)
 
(My San Antonio)
 
 
 
Thanks to the bad economy, Six Flags may be lowered to half staff by the end of the year
source: mysanantonio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Registered to vote in Canada? You've also been registered with political spammers, identity thieves, and at least one terrorist organization
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Pranksters hijack Taco Bell drive through radio and shout vulgarities at passing cars. Customer satisfaction reports take an immediate upturn
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Indiana police catch suspect through careful examination of a doughnut, entirely validating their years of practice
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Bishop says you should be relieved if you get fired during this recession
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Labspaces.net)
 
 
 
Our brains don't fail to be confused by statements which are not found to contain non-negative words. You didn't submit this with a worse headline, but mine didn't not get unredlit anyway
source: labspaces.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Four Buddhist monks turn up in remote Australian outback town, set up dental practice, then disappear
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Here's something that pre-teens and teens agree with their parents about: Marlboros
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(San Francisco 49ers)
 
 
 
FBI removes mortar round, live cannonball and other old ammo from home of confused Civil War collector, 71
source: hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
Port Newark agents seize five million Sudafed pills, but only after bringing a cardboard picture of the pills to the dock and showing their ID, then they got the actual pills
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Iron Photoshop ingredient: "I think that I shall never see / A photoshop as lovely as a tree."
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
What do you do when your University has the highest rate of sex crimes in the system? Claim it is a positive
source: fox40.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Man shoots himself through the heart with nailgun to scare his fiancee, gives love a bad name
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Good idea for your elementary school's show and tell: Pet lizard. Bad idea: hand grenade
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Boston Channel)
 
 
 
The word 'official' was deliberately spelled 'offcial.' The intentional misspelling is supposed to make it easier to catch people who try to counterfeit. Anyway, that's their story and they're sticking to it
source: thebostonchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(222)
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
State of Iowa is in such deep financial shiat that they're charging inmates for toilet paper
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Honolulu Star-Bulletin)
 
 
 
Tornado hits Hawaii golf course, other golfers decide to let it play through. (pics, video)
source: starbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
The City of Tacoma, WA feels that the economy and job market might have had an influence over 807 people applying for one water meter-reader job
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(NBC30.com)
 
 
 
Man has Wii fit after son fails to pause game, holds family hostage and threatens to burn down their house
source: nbcconnecticut.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Holder of world-record fingernails loses them in tragic car accident
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
India's High Court is backlogged over 466 years. Next case? St. Francis Xavier v. Society of Jesus at Rome Re: back pay not received
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Arkansas House passes bill that allows church goers to praise the Lord and pass the ammunition
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(248)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Two police officers on same force discover they are dad and son. Awkward
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Lexington Herald Leader)
 
 
 
10 years on, Fark retains its snark - and makes money
source: kentucky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(278)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
If you recently stole the Dutch City of Leeuwarden's municipal porn archive, city officials would like a word with you. In other news, cities in the Netherlands have municipal porn archives
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Step 1: Ban cell phones in the courthouse. Step 2: Rent 3x5 lockers for phones at 50 cents each. Step 3: Profit
source: officer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
Fark turns 10 years old today. Come relive (somewhat) great moments in early Fark history, 1999-2000, as culled from my old emails -Drew
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(549)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Unable to actually have sex with his teacher, 17-year-old student resorts to taking upskirt photos of her. With pics of photographer and subject
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
In an effort to relieve the suffering of its citizens in these hard times, Alabama is set to allow sales of stronger beer
source: montgomeryadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Having eight babies is completely natural. Just look at this picture to prove how beautif-OMFG
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(462)
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Peanuts behind second death in Ohio - Damn you, Charlie Brown
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bishop arrested for taking two young boys up the chimney. For once, this is not a metaphor
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Schoolboy captures eerie footage of ghost striding towards banisters, or could just be mom's shadow. Either way, The Sun is there (with vid)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Here's what the new economic stimulus package will mean to you, other than having to hear about it in the news for the next six months
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(525)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Proposed bill would give you $500 dollars for every hour your stuck on the runway inside a plane, suddenly that 4 hour preflight wait doesn't seem so bad
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Bosworth to be named North Korean nuclear envoy. Kim Jong Il likely to counter with Bo Jackson
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
The speed camera never lies... until the police chief is caught with a copy of Photoshop
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Sheffield Star)
 
 
 
News: Conman imitates The Rock to fool sick kid. Fark: Previously tried to con Travolta and Cruise by claiming to be Heath Ledger's father. Bonus: Also had an alias of "Logan Michael Wolverine"
source: thestar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Hey Bob, where's that giant shipment of guns that just came in for the troops?" "Oh, no worries. I have the receipt here. Some guy named Al Kida signed for them"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Ringtones are annoying. This is CNN
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
In a story to warm over the media for Valentine's Day, two jurors discover true love during the trial. Fark: The case is over a father killing his 11-week old son
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(bit-tech)
 
 
 
According to the executive director of the Authors Guild, reading a book out loud is a violation of copyright terms. Your mother is going away for a long time, Jimmy
source: bit-tech.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man appears free of HIV after stem cell transplant. Just to repeat this as it appears to be vaguely important: MAN APPEARS FREE OF HIV AFTER STEM CELL TRANSPLANT
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(507)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny State tells shopkeeper to remove her potted plants from the sidewalk, there for seven years, because someone might trip and fall and kill themselves. If only there were some way to avoid large, visible objects on sidewalks
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Local residents upset that sculptor was paid $196,000 for sculptures with medallions depicting dogs sniffing each other, defecating, and two dogs farking. Why do you ask?
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Things are where you least expect them
source: cartoonbrew.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(The Register)
 
 
 
NSA reportedly offering "billions" to company that enables them to eavesdrop on Skype traffic. In related news, it looks like Skype has finally found a viable revenue model
source: theregister.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
United Airlines is doing such a great job keeping all their flyers happy that they're going to disconnect their complaint phone line
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Researchers shocked - SHOCKED - to find that Australia's former policy of kidnapping Aboriginal children so as to "integrate" them into western society had exactly the opposite effect. Resistance is futile
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Queen of England's Web site reviewed for search engine optimization, as we are sick of everyone being redirected to Freddy Mercury, the New York borough, and Mario Lopez
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bus driver arrested for selling cocaine, might have been let go if he had just stuck with speed
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Tired of Junior blowing up airplanes and screaming "Death to America"? Bring him to our mosque and sign him up for our detox program
source: toronto.ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
19-year-old man gets wasted at a party, decides to drive home, ends up paralyzed after crashing the car. So naturally he gets a $2.5 million judgment against the host of the party
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Students and professors say crosses have no place in a Jesuit university
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(212)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
So, Australia's thinking that now might be a good time to have one of those national fire alert system thingies
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(WSB Radio)
 
 
 
By now, everyone should know teenage girls in chat rooms are actually cops. Especially other cops
source: wsbradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(ketv.com)
 
 
 
Yahoo search requests for "When is Valentine's Day?" increases 150% over past week. Expect search requests for "How is babby formed?" to spike in couple months
source: ketv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
ProTip: When running a home pot growing operation, don't install an alarm that automatically notifies police when a break-in occurrs
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Strip club boss accussed of inciting "twincest". Oh well, there goes another fantasy
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(320)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
10 year old boy saves his drowning 3 year old sister by mimicking CPR moves he saw on TV, gains leverage to re-negotiate viewing allotments with mom
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
GM CEO says that his company is "crouched and ready to pounce" on returning customers. Crouched and ready. Crouched and ready. Crouched and ready. Crouched and...ow, cramp
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(209)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Woman who sang about fire charged with arson, judged a little pitchy
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(CPSC)
 
 
 
Personal and group cooking systems recalled due to tendency to cook persons and groups. Well, what did you expect?
source: cpsc.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Apparently it is okay to tug on Superman's cape, and to spit on Nacho Libre. You can pull the mask of the old Lone Ranger. Just don't count on Spiderman entering the fray [w/ beatdown video]
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
In 1968, a white firefighter saved a black baby girl, touching the heart of a divided city. The two did not meet again. Until yesterday
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Pakistan, which you may know as the country where no part of the Mumbai attacks was planned at all, arrests six for planning Mumbai attacks in Pakistan
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Times Herald)
 
 
 
Career-limiting move of the day: Used-car salesman starts up vehicle for customer, inadvertently runs over said customer
source: times-herald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Pamela Anderson currently living in trailer. The circle is now complete
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
With this many teachers sleeping with their students - today's comes to us from Stockton, CA - do teenage boys even try hooking up with teenage girls anymore? (With Natasha Lyonne look-alike mugshot goodness.)
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Inappropriate product placements in movies
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Venezuelans add ballot papers to "yellow snow" and "your mom" on the list of things they shouldn't eat
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
Wild otter breaks into zoo exhibit so he can frolic with the two females
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Today's 2nd-grader who took loaded gun to school comes to us from Pittsburgh, PA. Which is understandable, considering how rough some Pittsburgh schools can be
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Britons told to eat Chinese if they want to keep their crabs under control
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Fark headline gets a shout-out on the Washington Post in article regarding Ticketmaster's nefarious practices
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
If the taxman gets a search warrant to go through everything in your house in search of documents you've already given him, you can file a lawsuit. In Canada you can actually win that lawsuit
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
PC police at the The International Longevity Center encourage ban on words like "old" and "elderly" to describe superannuated citizens, suggest "blue-haired" and "wrinkly" instead
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Judges send hundreds of children to detention facility in exchange for payment from owners. Sort of like Bleak House meets Oliver Twist
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
CNBC, always in touch with what the American people want in a recession: "Wildly Expensive Valentine's Day Gifts"
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(CBS11tv.com)
 
 
 
Son of megapastor TD Jakes arrested for yankin' his crank in front of an undercover cop
source: cbs11tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
When it floods in far north Queensland, the water is only a mild annoyance. Giant crocodiles sitting in your backyard eating your pets, now THAT's a problem
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Two men arrested in connection with the Australian fires
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Storm photographer finds the end of the rainbow, literally (pic)
source: sciencedude.freedomblogging.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
67 computers missing from Los Alamos nuclear weapons lab, but none of them contained classified info. Um, if they're missing, how do we know what's on them?
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
What a woman's bushy eyebrows reveal about her
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 197: "Religion and Spirituality II." Difficulty: No sports teams
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 


Wed February 11, 2009
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Scientists say they've discovered why extinct mammoths had such big and long trunks
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
When robbing a gas station, you might as well fill your tank up. Or not, like this guy
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Octuplets mother sets up website requesting cash and "items" for her family. This should end well
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(513)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Facing a $67 million deficit, Atlanta's transit authority spends $10,000 to lobby lawmakers about how broke they are
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Not News: tall snow banks in North Dakota. News: dog uses one to climb onto roof of house. On second thought, I take that back...that's still Not News
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Finally, after all the silly studies and pointless, wasteful research, science has discovered something completely worthwhile for society: how to make better beer
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Armed with only a garden hose, man saves pub... oh, and 400 people (pic)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
One of the great debates of our age has been settled: "Whisky" versus "Whiskey"
source: thepour.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Police break down door after hearing a woman scream, only to find a singer practicing. Stevie Nicks thanked the officers for their concern and gave them free tickets to the upcoming Fleetwood Mac show
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Kids say the darndest things. After crashing his dad's car, 8-year-old boy tells cops that daddy was taking "liquid medicine", points at whiskey bottle
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Angry Australians who lost homes and loved ones in wildfires blame government policies that stopped them from clearing brush. "We've lost two people in my family because you [expletives] won't cut trees down"
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(214)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Lawmaker tries to make beer pong illegal until fans of drinking games find out his email address. "We're getting inundated with so many e-mails that I don't have the time to fool with it"
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these soulless staring eyes
source: s52.radikal.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
School calls police and goes into lockdown after a man is spotted with a "long gun." Turns out it was sticks, but the police still searched and questioned the law abiding stick collector
source: bangornews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Not news: Polish army launches recruitment campaign. Fark: In the UK
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Atom)
 
 
 
The most disturbing animals on earth. Sadly Paris Hilton isn't listed
source: community.atom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
One third of smokers would kick the habit to protect a pet. In related news, two thirds of smokers consider an animal's life less important than a sweet, sweet drag
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Massachusetts will pay for highway infrastructure with responsible budgeting. Just kidding, they want to charge a per-mile-driven tax on every driver by putting a tracking chip in vehicle inspection stickers
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
With the price of rocket shells soaring from $20 to $100 each, even the Taliban will be looking for a bailout soon
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Someone actually bothered to do the math on the supposed Atlantic Ocean swim. Proof that someone's paying attention...or has too much time on their hands
source: sports.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Editor of Indian newspaper jailed for "Offending the religious feelings of Muslims". Article in question basically calls Mohammad a murdering pedophile
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 
(Some Ohio Guy)
 
 
 
Fourth grade teacher charged with prostitution. Bonus: she used school computer to arrange dates. Double bonus: she skipped class to hook. (w/ you surely wouldn't pay money for it pic)
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Tiger, Tiger, sleeping deep / lying there without a peep / until the vet, who's none too bright / strays too close and gets a bite
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Surprised your mixed nuts contained greater than 50% salmonella? The guy who shipped them wasn't
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Montana bighorn sheep hunting license sells for $245,000. That's right, a quarter of a million dollars to shoot a dog with curly horns
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
1 tequila, 2 tequila, 3 tequila, floor. 45 tequila...well, let's just say the fun stops sometime before then
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Mrs. Nancy Grace, please pick up the white courtesy phone
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(madison.com)
 
 
 
City to outlaw opening car doors. Measure supported by cyclists, them Duke boys
source: madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Philadelphia prints passes for Philly's Beer Week...with picture of New York skyline
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Inanimate carbon rod seen hovering over campsite. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Wyoming county serves Church of Scientology stop-work order on giant mysterious underground bunker because they have no permits. Attorneys all glib
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Spike)
 
 
 
Top 10 manliest pets. Sharks with lasers?
source: spike.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(WS)
 
 
 
Nothin' says love like taking your Valentine to a candle-lit dinner - at Waffle House
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Derbyshire constables field testing helmet cams to record evidence and take statements. You have 20 seconds to comply
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Hazmat team sent to investigate a suspicious substance in a can of Campbell's Soup. "It was salt."
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Coffee, chocolate, Facebook most common British addictions. Surprisingly, "brushing teeth", "spelling words without a superfluous 'u'" did not make the list
source: thehindubusinessline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Nanny State advisor says precious little snowflakes should have elementary school graduation ceremonies, with special awards for ability in singing and art for the ones who can't do math or spell too good. And all shall have prizes
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The cutesiest picture of a dormouse asleep on a flower you'll see this afternoon
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
After seeing one governor go to jail and another get arrested and become a national punchline, Illinois now considering banning elected officials from putting their names on public signs
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some MAC guy)
 
 
 
Getting an A the hard way: Spend hours transcribing historical documents. Getting an A the easy way: Finding Abe Lincoln's fingerprint on one of them
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Indiana woman sues Netflix, Walmart for doing a damn fine job
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Inmate gets $295,000 court award cut to $29,500. His gripe: forced to sleep on a crappy, stinky mattress, just like you. A triumph of justice
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Progressive students want to rename Boulder High School as Barack Obama High
source: coloradodaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(451)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Scientists at the Romero institute prove that the richer you are, the more likely it is that you are a rude, self-centered, prick
source: fe5.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Some guy waits for train 8 feet above platform. The Sun is there (pics)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Prince Harry in trouble for racists remarks. No this isn't a repeat from last week, or the week before or last month
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Hong Kong appeals court agrees to hear case of an American woman who drugged her husband's milkshake, then beat him to death because he forced her to have painful anal sex. Defendant confident everything will work out in the end
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(237)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Al Qaeda now recruiting trees for suicide missions against British troops. Allahu Oakbar
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snowy field
source: pics.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The Vatican officially endorses Darwinism, forcing "Intelligent Design" advocates to find their tinfoil skullcaps to keep the scientific brainwaves out
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(699)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Heartless felons hurl flask of hydrofluoric acid into helpless family's home flat. HF
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Proof that Americans are workaholics. This headline would be funnier, but I'm late for a meeting
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Some of today's best surfing takes place on an English river - behold the mighty Severn Bore
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
Facing tax evasion charges, Marion Barry pulls out the rock-solid "kidney dialysis" defense
source: wtopnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Clerics with the Religion of Peace™ declare a fatwa on Valentine's Day. OK, maybe we're with them on this one, but only this one time
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(216)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Woman books trip to Costa Rica with her travel agent, is sent to Puerto Rico instead. You'd think travel agents would have maps, like, such as
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Magneto, the Joker, General Zod and the rest of the rogues' gallery are now joined by a new class of supervillians: Street vendors selling CDs
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
India bottling cow urine and selling it as a refreshing drink. Hey, it worked for Budweiser
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(202)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
If you break into someone's house, beat the snot out of him and leave him for dead, claiming you acted in self defense isn't the smartest explanation
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The Ura Moran Center for Making Up Numbers claims it can cost more than $100,000 to set up a new life after a failed marriage. And just in time for Valentine's Day, too
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Fake drummer for Foreigner steals woman's Corvette, now suffers double vision
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(gunaxin.com)
 
 
 
From the too much time on their hands department: A Tribute to Fallen Sodas
source: gunaxin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
If the sign says "Free Surgery", just let it go man
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Jesus was going to shoot Satan, but Satan wasn't at home. Yes, it gets weirder, Yes the Sunshine State is involved
source: savannahnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Half-brothers, Bat'leth robberies and pie for breakfast every day: Fark's top headlines from last week
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(CBS4Boston.com)
 
 
 
When you get your car washed, you probably shouldn't wear a scarf near those spinning brushes
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Hopscotch voted best ever playground game, proving that not enough people have ever played the classic "let's set fire to teacher's car"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Post office bans mail delivery to house for life because a postman became terrified of the hideous beast slobbering up the front yard. (With pics and video of hideous beast)
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(391)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this thingamajimmy
source: noespecado.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Post Star)
 
 
 
PRO TIP: When you call the police to search for your missing child, best not to have 68 pot plants in your basement. Bonus: Child was in closet
source: poststar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
Finally, a champion who can beat Tiger Woods. Bonus: He is only 10 and almost died in 2004
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
W__oo__/\__oo__m__oo__\o/__oo__
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(El Paso Times)
 
 
 
Florida plans for hurricanes. California for plans for earthquakes. If you're in Texas, you plan for the collapse of the Government of Mexico
source: elpasotimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Taking a firm stand to uphold school standards, superintendent refuses to allow 18-year old special needs kid to walk with his friends during their graduation
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Bowing to pressure from Christian groups, British lawmakers are looking to make it illegal for anyone under the age of 16 to engage in sex. Because if there's one thing teens like even more than having sex, it's obeying the law
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
If you're going to pretend to be a Chicago cop you probably shouldn't attempt to boss around two off-duty real Chicago cops with your fake badge and plastic gun
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
After mistakenly declaring Fmr. President Bush dead, South African TV station promises to only use "gobbledegook" in their banner tests. Will source material from Bush speeches
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(KCRA 3 Sacramento)
 
 
 
News: Group of 15 teachers win 76 million dollar lottery. Fark: They all showed up to work the next day
source: kcra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Parents are going loco over the fact that teachers are teaching social studies in Spanish. "The kids are to the point where they don't understand it"
source: madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(248)
 
(If Charlie Parker was a)
 
 
 
Caption these armed nuns
source: tsutpen.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 


Tue February 10, 2009
(Greg Mankiw)
 
 
 
Calvin and Hobbes comic strip from 15 years ago describes the bailout situation today
source: gregmankiw.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(392)
 
(DC Examiner)
 
 
 
Fox News producer arrested by the FBI on kiddie porn charges. You know, I've been watching Fox all day, why haven't I heard about this?
source: dcexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(708)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Koala bears are "especially vulnerable to wildfires" because they are slow, and extremely cute when cornered (with pic)
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Civics-challenged man arrested after arriving at the U.S. Capitol and threatening harm to Obama
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Iran's Ahmadinejad is ready to talk with America. And by "ready to talk" he means "DEATH TO AMERICA"
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You know it's a slow news day when the paper runs a story about why city Christmas decorations are still up
source: eveningsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(My Fox Orlando)
 
 
 
Fight escalates when brother hits sister with dog poo
source: myfoxorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
When Chuck Norris wants to run for president, all he has to do is drive around in his truck and look at signs and they all change to support him out of fear
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Man accidentally saws hand off. Again
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Now Britain's top drug advisor says LSD should be downgraded as he rides off on a pegasus into a melting sunset with a purple octopus crawling out of his ear
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
A hospital visitor reaching for cash in his pocket accidentally shoots himself in the leg. He's probably glad his cell phone didn't ring
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Mayor of Snellville, Ga., requests police escorts to bathroom after getting into altercation with councilman. Unknown if officers are expected to enforce "If shake it more than twice..." rule
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Defamation suit filed by three chicks who were featured in "Hot Chicks with Douchebags" dismissed as they are in fact hot chicks and they do associate with douchebags
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Mom of the year candidate faces life in prison when authorities don't agree with her views on child braising
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Florida man in danger of violating "72 strikes and you're out" law
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
New cocktail honors Captain Sully: Two shots of Grey Goose, and a splash of water
source: aviationblog.dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Arby's manager ducks into freezer at 2 a.m. to get some tasty roast beef, instead finds drunk woman. Which might not be too bad if she wasn't still in her car
source: coloradodaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Immediately following firearms training, police officer inadvertently unloads weapon the fast way
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
The snowstorms which caused havoc in Britain last week are scheduled to hit Sweden over the next few days, leading to what the Swedes refer to as a "slightly chilly day"
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(News 10 ABC Sacramento)
 
 
 
Checklist for 16th birthday party: Candles? Check. Cake? Check. Bail money for mom? Check
source: news10.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
You know how on "24" the terrorists hacked into the FAA database? Turns out it gave some people ideas
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this knight to remember
source: aaf.org.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you don't want suspects to escape from custody, disabling the power windows of your patrol car is a good first step
source: tylerpaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
If at first you don't succeed to get your boyfriend's other woman deported, try, try again
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
So what idiotic thing did PETA do this year at the Westminster Dog Show? If you said dress up as KKK members, collect your prize
source: faniq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You know the economy is doing great when illegal immigrants start leaving the US and heading to more prosperous places, like Guatemala
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(175)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You've really hit rock bottom when you are caught trying to seduce a dumpster
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
♪♫♪ OOOOk-lahoma, where the wind comes sweepin' down the HOLY CRAP GET IN THE SHELTER ♪♫♪
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(322)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Man gets hit in the head by a bathroom door inside a Lowe's store. Now he's flush with anger, says his body's in the crapper, and doesn't stall filing a lawsuit
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(ABC2News Baltimore)
 
 
 
Nude Sushi bar to open in Baltimore. One word of advice, be careful when ordering the volcano roll
source: abc2news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Anti-porn crusaders now targeting renaissance-era artwork. Surprisingly, this story does not come to you from America (with hilarious clothed versions of famous nude works of art)
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(137)
 
(Clarion Ledger)
 
 
 
Step 1: Print your own W-2. Step 2: File your taxes. Step 3: Meet your new cell-mate
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(57)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
One in six Swedish children are obese, which must be why the møøse find them so tasti
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Dismayed at all the waste plastic floating in the ocean, woman attempts to limit all plastic from her life, but finds it as tough as a paper-wrapped $3 steak
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(112)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. Unless you die. Then they go after your heirs
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(82)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Senate passes $838 billion stimulus plan, which still needs to be approved by the House and the US's creditor, China
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(850)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Honors student on drill team facing expulsion for having replica rifles in her car. You know, the rifles she twirls as part of the drill team
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(301)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
When many people go to an adult store, they prefer to be discreet. Not this guy
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(99)
 
(Daily Local)
 
 
 
Elderly driver decides to pick up some things on her way to the market. Things like a Toyota, a van, and a pedestrian
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(34)
 
(Rolling Stone)
 
 
 
Green Day to release "21st century Breakdown" in May, which is said to be like "American Idiot," a rock opera spread across three acts: One for every chord they know
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(235)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Female teacher on trial after she was caught performing oral sex on a male student in her classroom claims that it was the fault of medication she was taking. Husbands nationwide ask "What were the pills, where can I buy them?"
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Passion 4 Christ presents "ex-masturbator" t-shirts. Too bad they aren't selling socks
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(369)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Swedish police discover dead man gagged with duct tape. "We cannot rule out murder, " said spokesman Lou Gunnarsson
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(56)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Teen arrested after ordering $37,000 worth of candy online and charging the bill to his former high school; cops say he will likely undergo a cavity search
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(44)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
CT scan of mummy named "Meresamun" depicts elite, 3,000-year-old temple singer; archaeologists also find voice recording she used to lip sync at the Chariot Race Championship
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(22)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Chrysler CEO says they are doing just fine with your money, now please ignore the fact he has started transferring assets into his wife's name
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(173)
 
(Some Newspaper)
 
 
 
Circuit city to divide $2.3 million between 154 executives. $750,000 should cover the other 34,000 workers losing their jobs
source: insidenova.com   |   share: Share on Facebook