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Sun February 01, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Tough guy competition marred by mankini wearer in freezing weather
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Nanny state introduces exercise classes for obese one-year-olds [w pic of an absolutely enormous one-year-old]
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
National Guard called into Kentucky to ration food, water, inbreeding
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(284)
 
(Fark)
 
Plug
 
Totalfark: Sort of like Thunderdome, but with alcohol. And cats
 
 
(Press Citizen)
 
 
 
Iowa may become the latest state to ban cell phone use in cars so that people can more safely apply make up, eat cheeseburgers, fiddle with the radio, fantasize about their secretaries and yell at their children while driving
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Man wins his ten years fight with City Hall trying to hang a beer sign from his business. "And the bottom line is, I was right"
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
When drilling into a bank vault from the building next door, try not to end up in the bathroom instead
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Montgomery Advertiser)
 
 
 
Man arrested while "loitering for a sex activity." If waiting for sex is a crime, we're all doomed
source: montgomeryadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
You know that piece of crap car that you still owed money on when you traded it in? You still owe money on it. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Aspirin. Cures headaches, prevents heart attacks, and now it prevents liver damage from overdrinking. Why has no one tried this stuff on cancer yet?
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this patient passenger
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(WMUR)
 
 
 
Liquor sales up in down economy. Also, water is wet, sky is blue
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
NYC mayor proposes to amend state law to allow for traffic-light cameras at "unlimited locations" in the city and to raise the fine from $50 to $100. For safety reasons only of course
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(katv.com)
 
 
 
Arkansas wants to allow guns in churches. What could possibly go wrong?
source: katv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(Miss America)
 
 
 
The tradition continues: Photoshop the new Miss America
source: img134.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Screw that stupid football game, here's the ever-so-more-important official Super Bowl commercial discussion thread. Bonus: official pregame and official halftime festivities discussion. Officially
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(789)
 
(NFL.com)
 
 
 
Will the Steelers become the first NFL team to win six titles? Will the Cardinals win their first? It's your official Super Bowl XLIII thread (NBC, kickoff approx. 6:20pm Eastern)
source: nfl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(5471)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
City must rehire a former police officer who was fired for making calls to a psychic hotline. The city also has to pay him 10 years of back pay. When asked for a commit, the former officer kept saying, "god bless you Miss Cleo"
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"Anyone who's ever been suddenly napalmed in a chat room while happily typing about something as innocent as, say, fluffy kittens, knows what I mean." Hey, another article about Fark
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Eight great three-hour dates under $25. Eating out at submitter's mom's suspiciously absent. It's not news, it's the LA Times
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
What are Americans still buying? Big Macs, Campbell's soup, Hershey's chocolate and Spam - the four food groups of the apocalypse
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Now that all the homicides are solved and all the shiat is cleaned out of the Chesapeake Bay, investigators have broken up a black market striped bass ring
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(The Sentinel Online)
 
 
 
Despite preemptive whining, bars surprised to find sales went up after smoking ban
source: cumberlink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(312)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
If the review to your historical status seeking restaurant uses expressions like: "The rubbery lobster", "Its difficult to find the lowpoint of this night".... Its time to hang it up
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(The Sentinel Online)
 
 
 
News: Woman sues Pittsburgh suburb, wins $75,000. Fark: to keep her pole-dancing studio open
source: cumberlink.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(News Of The World)
 
 
 
This is Louise. Louise enjoys having casual sex with people she meets on the internet. Louise is hot. w/pic
source: newsoftheworld.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(422)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Officer, I have hundreds of fake IDs and other stuff related to identity theft. Cop: Uh, just throw them outside in the dumpster, mmmkay?
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Reporter critical of beer thieves, not so much for stealing the beer but for their choice of Budweiser
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bank of England tells female employees they must wear make-up, heels and skirts at work. Because we all know it was the flat-healed, pants-wearing, make-up free biatches that created this fiscal crisis to begin with
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(227)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Having solved all other crimes, Kissimmee police to issue $49.50 tickets to jaywalkers. All in the name of safety, of course. Bonus: Detective Clueless claims people in New York City don't jaywalk
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Farmer in central China sick with bird flu. OMG IT'S THE END OF THE WORLD
source: fe6.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Last night's pre-Super Bowl arrests include a man 'with a tattoo labeling him a porn star', a man who knocked over an occupied portable toilet, a man with drugs stashed in his buttocks, and other morans (with mugshot goodness)
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: Alter egos
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Damn, that hot Jenny chick last night gave me her number, but all I got was this stupid disc jockey
source: fe19.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Helicopter parenting is more harmful to children than schoolyard bullies and skinned knees from climbing trees
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(My Fox NY)
 
 
 
Good Samaritans beat up thief. Fark: it was actually a cab driver trying to collect a fare
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Any more than two kids and you're destroying the planet. We're talking to YOU, octuplet lady
source: women.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(392)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Congratulations, slow-walking sidewalk blocker - you beat self-important Bluetooth guy and express checkout cheater to win... a punch in the face
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(316)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Stolichnaya has been working with bartenders to concoct drinks with names like rejected resumé, battered bull and welfare punch
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(People Magazine)
 
 
 
What's Ellen DeGeneres thinking about this mother-to-be? [voting enabled, article LIT]
source: img2.timeinc.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
Raccoon - the other dark meat
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
128-year-old woman found in Uzbekistan. 28-year-old submitter reconsidering complaints about his sore back
source: news.aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
The newest craze in corporate team-building: Plane crashes
source: business.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Teen arrested after taking his mom's car for a drunken joyride and crashing it. Fark: Mom lets son rot in jail for weekend, asks police to charge him with grand theft auto
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
You woodn't believe what an ashhole this guy is. He's knot very poplar with his neighbors
source: bangornews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Step 1: Baby. Step 2: Baby. Step 3: Baby. Step 4: Baby. Step 5: Baby. Step 6: Baby. Step 7: Baby. Step 8: Baby. Step 9: Baby. Step 10: Baby. Step 11: Baby. Step 12: Baby. Step 13: Baby. Step 14: Baby. Step 15: ??? Step 16: Profit
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Ottawa Sun)
 
 
 
"You (got killed by) Kenny. You bastard"
source: ottawasun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Fire at Chinese nightclub. If only there was some kind of drill they could have practiced
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline - "Mom, churchgoer, dildo lady"
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this crazy house
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Australians plead, "Save our Vegemite" as government prepares to ban it because of its high salt content, fact it tastes like a dead dingo's arse
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
In a desperate bid to beat the recession, women everywhere are dying their hair blonde
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
Obama tired of his image being used to shill schlock merchandise without him getting a cut
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(11)
 


Sat January 31, 2009
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Man arrested for punching horse. No, this is not a Blazing Saddles sequel
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
Good Day: You decide to learn skydiving. Bad Day: Your instructor dies of a heart attack. Worse Day: In mid-air while you're strapped to him
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
The War on Terror™ is over
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(650)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
In an early candidate for Understatement of the Year, woman who gave birth to America's newest litter said to be "obsessed with having children." Bonus: Her other 6 were in vitro, too
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(248)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Cupcakes? Yeah, they're now cool
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Why women hate it when their partners are laid off. Because men can do domestic stuff more creatively and efficiently than them, basically
source: women.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(361)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Kidnapper: Your girlfriend wants me to kidnap you so you can talk about your relationship. Guy: Not now, playing Xbox. Kidnapper: I have a gun. Guy: Whatever. Kidnapper: I'll just let myself out
source: blogs.kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Truck spills oil. Looters gather. Darwin claims 50
source: newsdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
TripAdvisor.com's "Dirtiest Hotel in the USA", $120 a night, proving money can't buy class
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Italy banning "ethnic food" in what is referred to as "gastronomic racism" by the left, in an effort to preserve Italian culture. French-Canadians also considering a strict, enforced regimen of Pepsi and poutine
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stubborn old doorway
source: vincekeenan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(The Province)
 
 
 
Think pot never hurt anyone, try asking these four officers
source: theprovince.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(Some Saluki)
 
 
 
Actual Headline: SIU accused of copying plagiarism policy
source: siude.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cash4Gold may not be willing to pay you market value prices for your gold, but their CEO is willing to offer $3000 to the owner of a website to bury his article about it
source: cockeyed.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
NY museum wants to pay a woman $10/hour to sleep as a 'living sculpture'
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(DFW Star-Telegram)
 
 
 
Mother of the year candidate mistook her 11 year-old daughter's boyfriend, a 23 year-old convicted felon, for a classmate; is SHOCKED when they go missing
source: star-telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Best. News blooper. Ever
source: cynical-c.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(Irish Times)
 
 
 
Police detain three under Misuse of Drugs Act: Drugs - you're doing it wrong
source: irishtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Your Punxsutawney Phil and Groundhog Day questions answered. Bonus: Gobbler's Knob
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
One asshat's lawsuit closes sledding hill enjoyed for generations
source: post-gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(326)
 
(Some Japanese Guy)
 
 
 
"As a 31-year-old man living alone, I buy many daily necessities at convenience stores. But I cannot browse my favorite magazine any more because it is covered in a clear plastic bag"
source: yomiuri.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Family with mounting medical bills sells everything they own on eBay. Winning bidders send $20,000, refuse to take sellers stuff from them. My eye? It's just dusty here, that's all
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
"Atheists are not routinely happier, healthier and wealthier than believers. According to most surveys, they don't even have more sex."
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(451)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"Super Bowly" ad spending will differ this year. In other news, MSNBC hires new editor
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Hard times driving demand for hard liquor. "A $22 bottle of vodka can go a long way. You can spend eight bucks for a six-pack of beer" at a store, "but $4 a beer at the local bar."
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Police kick everyone out of a home and move in for two days. Then they decide to get a search warrant
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(New Scientist)
 
 
 
This is why America is so far behind others in education: "Why are the sun and moon the same size in the sky?"
source: newscientist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
In these trying economic times, Ric Romero focuses on the important issue of which plastic baggy keeps your snacks fresh the longest
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
See if you can spot what's wrong with PETA's website
source: twinturbo.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
You don't by any chance have six fingers on your right hand?
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Since cigarette taxes are at a maximum, what is the next solution to solving a state budget crisis? Massachusetts says tax the fatties
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(KENS-5)
 
 
 
Texas bill proposes hunting feral hogs from helicopters. Guns, alcohol and flyin' machines? What could go wrong?
source: kens5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The award-winning founder of Harvest Place, a home for adolescent girls, has been arrested for offering prostitution services through Craigslist
source: keepmecurrent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: And then there were none...
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
It never fails - you can't have a Democratic president without an embarrassing brother
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Why does everything I Google today say "This site may harm your computer" ?
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(208)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Voting under way in Iraq amid tight security. What could possibly go wrong?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Suffering for your art is one thing, deliberately having yourself committed to a mental institution is a whole other level of stupid
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Beer. The cause of and solution to all of life's problems
source: kgmb9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
We have an early entry in the "Nutballs Who Think The World Will End In 2012 Because Of The Mayan Calendar Thing" sweepstakes
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Researchers claim excessive chatting on Facebook can lead to depression in teenage girls. Then again, what doesn't?
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
That NYT story about the support group for women whose sugar daddies have been less sweet since the economy tanked? Looks like someone got punk'd
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
"Bacon is like the candy of the meats that the pig offers"
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Surprisingly, just under half of all Americans say that the computer and cell phone are not necessities. Who are these people, and is there a charity we can donate to to help them?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Millionaire invests in feline futures with cat sanctuary, expects huge returns on Caturday
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(484)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
In Japan, even the sewers are paved with gold
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
German asse water is probably not safe to drink, just so you know
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Orangutan goes full-out MacGyver in a bid to escape Audubon Zoo
source: wwl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Thieves steal thousands of dollars worth of scallops. How shellfish of them
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
For the last three years Mike Farrell did a great job delivering the Express-Times. Unfortunately, he doesn't work for them
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Drew Peterson's newest girlfriend finds out he's been married before, moves out. Bonus: with her dad standing guard. Dumbass tag is beaten over the head and dumped in a field by Obvious tag
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(Pixdaus)
 
 
 
Photoshop this flying fox
source: pixdaus.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
Underwear measurer sentenced to 44 years. Inmates at PMITA prison will enjoy the fruit of his loom
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Eating a little dirt is good for kids. Today's overprotective parents horrified
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(The Central Virginian)
 
 
 
Old and busted: teachers having sex with students. New Hotness: Teachers being intoxicated more than twice the legal limit during class. Bonus: She's from Bumpass, Virginia. BumpAss
source: thecentralvirginian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 


Fri January 30, 2009
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
Your "you know the Super Bowl got me thinkin'" story: Since 18-year-olds are adults, let them drink
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Cute belly buttons may induce subconcious mating signals. People with outies despondent, crying in corner
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(235)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this shocker
source: img407.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Remember this week's story about the cunning plan to assassinate the Queen with a log? Well, somebody smoked a huge bowl and imagined what would have happened if they succeeded. Dude, radical
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Really, what Jane Austen novel couldn't be improved by adding zombies?
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Don't panic about 401k plans. Here comes the finance
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Teachers: "Our students are out of control." Ministry of Education: "Here, check out this scientology website"
source: theprovince.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
US Govt. will no longer use Blackwater for private security in Iraq
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(Ars Technica)
 
 
 
Student loses court case for calling her teacher a Wentz in a LiveJournal post
source: arstechnica.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(242)
 
(Some Snohomish County Guy)
 
 
 
Man "just going to the store" at 3 AM busted for stealing construction lift and driving away at brisk 2 mph pace. In other news, nothing good happens at 3 AM
source: heraldnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
The weekly TSG mugshot roundup. It's all fun and games until the cops show up
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
News: Man gets attacked by gator and dragged into water while clearing trash from lake. Super Fark: Fights off gator, then goes back to clearing trash
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(wsbtv.com)
 
 
 
Atlanta police so afraid of an 80 pound, 94 year old woman in a nursing home that they have to shackle her to a bed
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
The City of Denver would like you to know that mandating meter maids write 79 tickets a day is not a quota, but rather they are 'performance goal$'
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Florida, California, Florida, and California top nation in Alzheimer's cases
source: bizjournals.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Super Bowl hooker crackdown nets 14 more lovelies. With mug shots, of course
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(264)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Eliza Dushku: "I like bow-hunting. I eat everything I kill." PETA: "You know who else ate everyone he killed?"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(447)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Signs your economy has gone down the toilet, part 26: The finance minister is seen checking his lottery ticket in Parliament
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Americans on Facebook: "I'm soooo bored at work today". Bolivians on Facebook: "Help us raise money to assassinate the president"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
10th Anniversary Fark Party updates (Vancouver, Pasadena, Bay Area, Lexington, and DC) - Drew's having logistics issues involving ice
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
National Science Foundation in danger of losing federal funding due to staffers putting in long hours "researching" internet porn
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Not invited to your sisters wedding? Miss Manners might suggest a polite but pointed letter expressing your dismay. On the other hand you could show up at the reception and pull out clumps of her hair by the handful
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
What better way to announce your pedophilic intentions than over a loud speaker
source: calgary.ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Snow possible in Atlanta on Groundhog day - six more weeks of no milk or bread in a 50 mile radius
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Coke decides to drop the "Classic" from its label, citing belief that young consumers find it "too stodgy." Wouldn't seem too stodgy if you'd been around to drink the Slurm residue back in 1985, you whippersnappers
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(281)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: New symbols for restroom doors
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Consumer confidence rises to a four-month high in January among Americans who have not yet been laid off, says new study by the Maybe If We Say It Online It'll Come True Institute
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Vegas strip club hires investigators to prove cab drivers steer tourists to the club that pays them the highest kick-back, while telling customers the women at the other clubs are "old hogs" and "chicks with bullet wounds"
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(wsbtv.com)
 
 
 
Bad news: your brother died. Worse news: While at his funeral, thieves broke into your car, and the cars of other mourners. The good news? See, that smoking hot sales assistant over there? I'm banging her
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fiat parked in the same spot for 2 years racks up $27,500 parking fines. Bonus: It's illegal to tow the car because it isn't blocking traffic
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
In today's meeting, what to do with a $45.2 Billion profit. But first, THE WHORES
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(218)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Protip: If one of the 12 year-old girls at your daughter's slumber party gets extremely drunk, don't attempt to sober her up yourself, call 911
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Internet helps helicopter parents to give school boards and superintendents hell
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
The suction cup ring on your windshield? Your cigarette lighter not plugged in? SMASH
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
16 year old girl tries to stab woman with pen. Victim now black or blue but says she never felt better
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Mother of octuplets already has 6 children. Echo echooo echooooo
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(320)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Martial arts teacher jailed for hiding his dragon in a 16 year old girl's crouching tiger
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(251)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
The latest stupid term invented by the fear mongering media - "testilying"
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Woman leads police on four-hour chase while only managing to crash into four cars before hitting a tree. Hey, give her a break - she's 77
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Detroit woman sues police after they barge into her house without a warrant and rough up everyone looking for drugs and guns, then return the next day with $100 cash and gift cards from Target & Wal-Mart because they felt bad about it
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(Times Herald Record)
 
 
 
The poorest place in the country? No, not there. Or there. Or anyplace else you're thinking. It's a Hasidic town in New York that's got a 68 percent poverty rate
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(275)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
After a long day at work, the last thing you want to do is to come home and find your significant other lying naked on a couch near a candle-lit altar
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Some old crate)
 
 
 
You know your car is officially a beater when the guy who stole it decides to bring it back and steal you neighbour's car instead
source: brentwoodpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Science Daily)
 
 
 
Scientists discover epilepsy genEFDGSDFGDGSDGRLRRBR
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
British hospital forced to call in exorcist to deal with haunting. To be fair, the pea green vomit is more likely to be a result of the food, but they have to try everything
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
The hills are alive with the sound of the Swiss telling the Germans to please put some bloody clothes on
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Caption what this lion cub is saying to the Pope
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Man claims he was fired for having a penis. Supervisors say he was a dick
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Famous art gets the Star Wars treatment (some pics artistically NSFW)
source: worth1000.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Gunpowder rapist sentenced to 18 years of loud banging
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
With so many news stories of female teachers having sex with their students it's hard for any one of them to stand out. Solution: He's not just her student, he's also her godson. (With "well, yeah I guess I would" photo.)
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(313)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
♫ We're all raising a Nazi submarine, Nazi submarine, Nazi submarine. We're all raising a Nazi submarine, Nazi submarine, Nazi submarine. ♪
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Cairo will host an international conference on March 2 on the reconstruction of the Gaza Strip, where an estimated $2 billion of damage was caused during the recent war. Israelis don't approve, but Arabs in Dubai and Abu Dhabi do
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Passengers of U.S. Airways flight 1549 thrilled to be given free first class upgrades for a year. Just kidding, they're biatching their lungs out because they want free upgrades for life
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(266)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Note to self: Before sending an old safe to be scrapped, make sure you take the €170,000 out of it first
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop a new, pimped out Oval Office
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Fancy living in a £675,000 home? Solve sudoku puzzle to win it
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
English city bans possessive apostrophes from all it's place names because theyre too hard to use correctly
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "How to touch boobs"
source: blogs.smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(401)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Missouri Senator submits bill to make littering by "rednecks" and "white trash" a capital crime
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You may be neglecting your yardwork if a Ford Escort is found hidden in all your underbrush
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Cheap toasters found to outperform expensive ones. Slow news day
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
Awesome flow-chart to help you create your very own Star Trek story
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Gainesville Sun)
 
 
 
I kissed a squirrel and I liked it...(with pic goodness)
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Boy opens gigantic birthday present to find out it's his dad, back from Iraq. When the mailman found out he had a retroactive hernia
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman pulls boyfriend out of truck and beats him with antenna until it hertz
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
City employee, arrested twice in a day on pot charges, tells police he was okay to drive because he had "only smoked a roach"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this limo and driver
source: gplimos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 


Thu January 29, 2009
(WTOP)
 
 
 
What is this nation coming to when a drunk man isn't allowed to ride his white horse home in a snowstorm?
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
"Better Off Dead" paperboy grows up, gets stabby
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
We can all rest easy now, the Naked Cowboy is in Tampa for the Super Bowl
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Cult of Snuggie looms over America; Video Professor unable to save us
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(268)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
"Cardinal Mystified by Child Sex Probe"; apparently the directions were missing from the package
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Some Maineiac)
 
 
 
Toilet cover bill killed in Maine. "In one study of bacteria counts in bathrooms, toilet seats had lower bacterial counts than did the faucet handles on the sinks"
source: news.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Police identify man who faked his death 20 years ago, moved to Alabama, abandoned his family, and started a business selling NASCAR products. Not surprisingly, drugs were involved
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
With no other news to report, investigative team tries to determine if Obama is flipping us off on 7-11's commemorative cup
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Drunk 1: Hey strangers, wanna hang out? Drunks 2 & 3: Sure, how about we go over to that poorly lit cemetery? Drunk 1: That sounds like a great idea
source: blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Whiplash the Cowboy Monkey slated to be knighted tonight
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(First Coast News)
 
 
 
You know how people will put messages inside balloons and let them go? Well sometimes they land, confuse the hell out of the people that find them, and turn into news
source: firstcoastnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Gang uses bulldozer to steal ATM from bank, then crashes into adjacent post office, leaving the ATM there, before crashing into a Chinese restaurant and running off
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(STLToday)
 
NewsFlash
 
Blagowned
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(619)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman, 53, charged with raping male friend. Yes, there is a mug shot
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(294)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Photoshop things you never noticed in famous pictures. LGT samples
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Armed robber breaks into two college apartments and holds students at gunpoint. If it weren't for a quick police response he may have made off with over $10 in Natural Light and ramen noodles
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Marshfield News-Herald)
 
 
 
Hey watch...I can spin this .357 on my trigger finger like a real *BANG*
source: marshfieldnewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Sherlock Holmes found dead in Dallas. No shiat
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Denver mayor declares "Wear Your Pajamas To Work Day" to somehow show support for the homeless
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Somali pirates hijack German tanker and seize crew of 13 sour krauts
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(189)
 
(Richmond Times-Dispatch)
 
 
 
As police chief, you might have inside information that detectives often pose as underage girls on the Internet. Apparently, that is not always the case
source: timesdispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Fight erupts over two-legged puppy adoption, whether the special-needs dog can make it on his own
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
911 Operator: "Please state the nature of your emergency." Caller: "Send a cop quick. Our weed just got stolen."
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Boy Scouts of America. Thrifty, Brave, Obedient, Cheerful, Greedy Ruthless Clear Cutting Loggers. Wait, what?
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(282)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Who says today's teens have no work ethic?
source: naplesnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
How to get a DUI: Ask if you can do gymnastics during your field sobriety test, tell cops you'll be "screwed" if you give a breath sample
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Having your credit score go down because of not paying your bills. New Hotness: Your credit score and credit lines affected by where you shop
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(333)
 
(Some Chub)
 
 
 
Sorry Tom, I got my thumb in the picture. No wait. That's your face
source: bingethink.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(266)
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
News: Man runs from police after crashing car. Fark News: His vanity plate reads CHASNME
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Man drives the wrong way on the interstate for 40 miles, smiles and waves at police who try to pull him over. Surprisingly, alcohol wasn't involved
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Civil engineers give U.S. infrastructure a "D" grade. EVERYBODY in a big building , on a bridge or in a tunnel PANIC
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(223)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Utah Carl's Jr. to hold "moment of silence" for toilet destroyed in the line of doody, distribute bottles of Kaboom Bowl Blaster toilet cleaner to first 50 funeral attendees. No, seriously
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Spike)
 
 
 
Top seven things to do when you're stuck in traffic. What, no drugs?
source: spike.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Vegetarian Wall St. trader sues his boss for calling him a homo because he wouldn't eat steak with the boys
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(590)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Best high school EVAR provides pole-dancing lesson during lunch break as part of health drive. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Shopaholics may actually suffer from a disease. Funny, no mention of "broke" being a disease in the article
source: nbcphiladelphia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Fearing he may have toupee for his blunders, Blago now wants to combover and clear the hair in trial's closing statements. Fail tag waits in the wings, bangs at door. Bouffant
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Teens charged with throwing deadly missiles when they hit a parked cop car with an orange
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Cyberthieves are on the attack. Hopefully they won't pair up with Cyberbullies, Cyberstalkers, and Cybermolesters to destroy us all
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Millions of adults unable to do math or speak good. Thats, like, alot
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(264)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Bullet proof vests that don't stop bullets? It's more likely than you think
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Protip: When you're too drunk to hail a cab, don't climb into the back of a police car and demand a ride home because you work for the DA
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Some bike messenger poser)
 
 
 
Riding your bicycle on the sidewalk? That's a beating. Bonus: Cop sprays himself in the face with mace
source: courierpostonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Attention, pot growers: You might fool the cops, but you can't fool Google Earth
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(335)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
"No one in their right mind is going to kill somebody over a TV," says woman who has never read Fark
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(NBC 4)
 
 
 
Mayor Crackhead in trouble with the IRS for not paying his taxes. Again. This is not a repeat from 1999, 2000, 2001, 2002, 2003 or 2004
source: nbcwashington.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Almost half of Americans want to live somewhere else: Republicans to Orlando, Democrats to San Francisco, everyone to Denver
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(262)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
British postman takes some time out of his hectic work schedule to actually make a delivery
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(7)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Joey Buttafuoco's jailbait girlfriend has turned out okay after all. She's married, has three kids, and is a stripper and porn actress
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Rocky Mountain News)
 
 
 
Deputies find a wanted man hiding inside a suitcase in a motel room. Talk about your open and shut case
source: rockymountainnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(15)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Venice to sell discounted public toilet access passes online in hopes that people might quit peeing in the canals
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(WPTV.com)
 
 
 
Surfers unfazed by shark jumping out of the water to get their attention (with video)
source: wptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
Bungling burglar tries to steal drumkit, falls down stairs knocking himself out, wakes up, tries to steal plasma TV, cuts himself, accidentally sets fire to the kitchen, falls asleep on homeowner's bed, bleeding profusely. The Aristocrats
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
One third of British office workers admit to watching porn at work, two thirds lie to researchers
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Commuters driving through Lamar Boulevard and West 15th Street in Austin, TX, be advised that the "Zombies Ahead" traffic alert has been cleared
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Study finds that married women sleep better than single women. Married men, not so much
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Pickup truck crashes into a church. Now the church needs an organ transplant
source: kitsapsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this man and his hat
source: img.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Department of Homeland Security announces that rail and bus lines are not meeting its security standards. Passengers will now begin removing shoes, disposing of liquids and letting high school dropouts frisk them at the door
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
You're doing it wrong if you call the police to confess you committed the "perfect" crime
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
If you're handcuffed to your accomplice and fleeing from the police, be aware that streetlights are not your friend
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Jedi)
 
 
 
Because Star Wars geeks are known for their athleticism, Adidas is marketing trainers just for them. Wedgies sold separately
source: retrotogo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Problem: Voters approve no smoking in bars. Solution: Tobacco companies come out with melt-in-your-mouth nicotine
source: kgw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(317)
 
(Reading Evening Post)
 
 
 
Man really hurts his career after managing to kill himself on his second day on the job. While wearing a gas mask and rain boots. And masturbating
source: getreading.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Lord Lucan's desk appears at auction, expected to vanish again just as quickly
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Mayor Bloomberg declares war on Salt. Pepa seen fleeing New York
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Aint-It-Cool-News)
 
 
 
So it's 2009 and you need a spokesman for a child abuse PSA. Of COURSE you think of "Starship Troopers" actor Casper Van Dien reprising his 1994 role. Would you like to know more?
source: aintitcool.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(WCSC)
 
 
 
Post office evacuated when package emits "bomb-smelling odor." "At first you didn't realize it was a skunk until the guy said 'I'm expecting a skunk' and then you're like, 'That's what it was'"
source: live5news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
New gene therapy may cure "Bubble Boy" disease, settle argument on who invaded Spain in the 8th Century
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Irish traveller deported for bad behaviour while drunk. This could open the floodgates
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this spaghetti inspector
source: images.telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
After doing inventory in the wake of the Hudson river crash, American Airlines discovers it's been flying without federally mandated life rafts on its international flights for the last three years
source: fe20.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
For sale: NYC Penthouse with crappy view, low ceilings, small windows and huge pile of sand left behind from previous owner's vagina
source: uk.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
Girl hits the holy trifecta of drinking and driving, underage and pregnant
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
UK ban on "extreme" porn so vague and overreaching it could affect comic books
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 195: "Rocks." Difficulty: Not used in any kind of construction or (human) sculpture
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(222)
 


Wed January 28, 2009
(Some LSD)
 
 
 
Have you ever been tazed....on acid?
source: coloradodaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Atlanta's water department commissioner says if you got your water cut off it's because you didn't pay your bill and you deserve to go dry
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
There's a time and a place to sell drugs. At the police station isn't either of them
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Owl lands on power pole, gets barbecued, knocks out TV stations in eastern Iowa. YA RLY
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
No matter how many times you've been to London, you've never seen it like this
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Mom of the Year teaches her kids to shoplift at Wal-Mart, then ditches them when they get caught
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
New online reminder service keeps track of your wife's menstrual cycle for you, delivers threat warnings at appropriate times. "Code red, go play golf for a week"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Liquor store clerk stops "shoplifter" with bulging clothes who turns out to be woman who's eight months pregnant
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Faced with budget shortfall, Washington state looks to cut Poison Center hotline that takes 250 calls per day, mostly for kids
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Man shoots co-worker at swimming pool company. Police say he went off the deep end
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Some Ohio Boy)
 
 
 
I'm sure there are times when it's appropriate to abbreviate "Ohio", but this headline is probably not one of them
source: wtol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: Truthful logos
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
In 2005 a file cabinet full of secret State Department docs was sold. At an Auction. In Israel
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Hitler stickers... you know, for kids
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Repeat abortions by teenage girls up 70%. Because those "Buy 9, get 1 free abortion" punch cards don't fill themselves out
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(413)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Teen decides the best way to deal with a lit M-80 is to put it between his thighs so it doesn't damage anything important in his Grandma's house
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Dallas approves spending $160,000 to hire three anti-smoking "sanitarians"
source: cityhallblog.dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
Farkette turns author, releases fifth book. Not a sponsored link, a birthday present
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(216)
 
(Some Bad Dancer)
 
 
 
High school dance team disbanded after performance titled "Sluts of Jonesboro" (with video)
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Britain is the sickest and fattest country in Europe. Americans yawn, then roll over to find the remote control that controls the other remote controls
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Want to save money? Polish your shoes with a banana peel. This will save you the hundreds of dollars a month you're probably spending on shoe polish
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman warns reality TV and the internets have created an immoral generation just itching to film themselves naked and having sex. She says that like it's a bad thing
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Top 10 fast food chains in customer satisfaction: Rightfully, the only chain that matters, In-N-Out Burger reigns supreme at #1
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(690)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Ice storm cuts power to one milli
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Some Tom, Dick or Harry)
 
 
 
Study: Adolescents with unpopular names are more likely to commit crimes. As if little Adolph Hitler Campbell didn't have enough to worry about
source: scienceblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
You can apparently roll entire houses across Minnesota lakes without breaking ice (w/ pic)
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
U.S. Post Office considers reducing mail delivery to only five days a week
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(232)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Couple completes personal globe-trotting "Year In Beer" tour, providing new inspiration for Farkers everywhere
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN asks the tough questions, like "Should your boss be your friend on Facebook?"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(185)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Anyone who knows how to crack a safe or break into a bank vault in under 90 minutes may want to plan a quick trip to Norway soon
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Suspicious fire at Tampa strip club causes 100,000 very stinky dollars in damage
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
How do you keep vultures from pecking your pigs? Grape bubblegum
source: bradenton.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Skateboard school to open in Afghanistan. Haven't those people been terrorized enough?
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Not news: Police try to track man down through his footprint. Fark: The footprint was left on someone's forehead
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Super Bowl hooker crackdown nets 19 women (aged 19 to 53). With mug shot "goodness"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(397)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this oddly shaped fire plug thingy
source: izrailit.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The House votes to not force you to watch any more of those annoying DTV commercials
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(314)
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Man breaks into gas station and calls 911 on himself so he can spend time with his jailed brother. So stupid it's almost sweet
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
In Oklahoma you won't get jail time if you have sex with a dog, but you better watch out if you tape someone having sex with a dog
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
27-year-old man runs away with his 15-year-old girlfriend so they can live in an abandoned bus. And they say romance is dead
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Time)
 
 
 
93% on your Math test? Sweet, I got an 'A'.... Not so fast their, buddy
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(255)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
January 28 1986 We will never forget them, nor the last time we saw them, this morning, as they prepared for their journey and waved good-bye and "slipped the surly bonds of earth" to "touch the face of God"
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(555)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
What do you do if you meet a famous Australian politician?. A) Shake his hand, B) Greet him with a smile. C) Flash your down under?
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(AOL (UK))
 
 
 
Teddy Bear arrested after threatening 'blood all over the parking lot' massacre - complete with sinister Teddy Bear mugshot
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Couple strolling naked through Bangkok? That's a round of applause. "Singapore is getting more and more exciting"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Bet you can't cheat just one
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Octuplets doing well, breathing on their own, squirting ink
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
The width of subway cars on NYC's IRT lines have not changed for over 100 years. Yet that somehow slipped by engineering and construction crews building a new station in lower Manhattan
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Ahmadinejad demands apology from US, threatens photoshop retaliation
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(244)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
The Pope (who is German) says he "feels full solidarity" with Jews. Except for the whole "going to hell for not believing in Jesus" part
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(251)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
And if the economy isn't enough to make you take a staycation, the media provides this helpful reminder of all the nasty diseases that will kill you dead if you step out of your home for just one minute
source: travel.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
When times are good, people drink. When times are bad, people drink. FARK: With insight from the president of The Beer Institute. The Beer Institute
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
L.A. Zoo takes up Bob Barker's offer to pay $1.5 million to relocate Billy the elephant. The elephant, of course, will have to be neutered
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
60-year-old man acquitted in bizarre sex trial, and is now free to write the greatest Penthouse Forum letter of all time
source: thestarphoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
NJ to survey the state's homeless today. During a snowstorm. Something tells the subby the count will be surprisingly low
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Family decides to count number of credit card applications received in mail in a year, including those to sons, ages 8 and 11. Answer: 445. I think we've discovered how to save lenders some money
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Kate Middleton, Prince William's girlfriend, is allergic to horses, which will make for a very awkward relationship with her future stepmother-in-law
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Slender 34D babe can't get job at Times Square's Hawaiian Tropic Zone because she's too "ghetto" and doesn't "speak white"
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(854)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
St. Louis is gonna be witness to the ultimate test of cerebral fitness
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Confused about Muslims? Give one a call at 1-800-IslamWow. Operators are standing by with free copies of the Quran for the next twenty minutes - We can't do this all day
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Man complains to pizza maker about calzone. That's a beatin'. And pistol-whipping. What do you expect at restaurant named Goomba's?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(WSBT)
 
 
 
Somebody's been sitting in my chair. Somebody's been eating my porridge. Somebody's been dressing in my closet, and he's STILL THERE
source: wsbt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Please leave your car running with the keys in it while you go inside. This has been a Public Service Announcement from the Wealth Redistribution Cooperative
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
British council to build new straw houses, with a possible upgrade to stick planned for after the wolf turns up
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Madagascar suffers two days of riots and violence; closes ports
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Rock fans head to Iowa to mark 50th anniversary of the day music died
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Police interrogation transcripts show suspect cried "Zoinks" when told that the murder victim's Scooby-Doo CD case was found inside his house, followed by a hushed "Ruh Roh"
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Officer who ordered warrantless raid on British politician's offices to be punished with promotion to Commissioner of Britain's largest police force
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Cows named and treated with a "more personal touch" produce more milk, look more attractive
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Some guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Ruin your favorite movie with an unwelcome dose of realism (LGTE)
source: slicknovel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Not News: Robin a store. News: thief that must be cuckoo ducks out with $1400 bird under coat. Police believe loon lacks egret for his crime. Lark: People pay $1400 for birds; boobies
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Mother gives birth to baby boy in Denver public library. No word on when it was due
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Rejected PETA Superbowl ad once again proves that when they rely on next-to-naked hotties engaging in foreplay people never remember their "message" only the . . . wait, what were we talking about again?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(319)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Contaminated peanut butter factory found salmonella 12 times in two years of internal tests... and still kept shipping. But don't worry, industry will police itself
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(293)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. But turkey attacks? That's a whole different ball game
source: gloucestertimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these hip-hoppin garbagemen
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"Spoooooon!"
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Criminal masterminds steal tires and rims off parked car, put them on their own car, and then drive back to the scene to "see if the lady had called the cops." She had
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(WINK)
 
 
 
How do you get an 8-foot alligator out of a storm drain pipe? You use its favorite lure: "It's a rotten cow lung. It's stinky, bloody and it floats"
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some Car Guy)
 
 
 
Problem: I am a douchebag, but my car doesn't effectively reflect how douchy I am. Porsche: We have a button for that
source: auto123.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(314)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Remember that Fisher Price doll that allegedly said "Islam is the light"? The same woman who found the doll has found the phrase in a Nintendo DS game
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(363)
 


Tue January 27, 2009
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
If you're wondering what the typical Afghan civilian is worth, the answer's about $2,666
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
New crime report concludes that.....now stay with me on this if you can....apparently when the economy goes sour, people are more likely to commit crimes. Who knew?
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Israel's Holocaust museum reaches out to Muslims. Because if there's one thing that makes Muslims sick to their stomachs, it's Jewish people dying
source: fe21.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Postman rescues baby otter, takes it on tour of Scotland in search of a jugband. With sickeningly cute pics
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
If you've been claiming disablility for the last 35 years due to "cello scrotum," the cat is out of the bag, so to speak
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman accused of shooting a man 5 times in the back asks the court to disregard her MySpace screen name "ManHater" because she feels it could prejudice the jury
source: dnronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
Headlines Of The Week, Drew's travel, and Jim Cantore's snowpocalypse EVERYBODY (in Kentucky) PANIC
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Seven sick after eating blowfish testicles. Hootie seen fleeing the scene
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Think your cubicle in your huge open-plan office sucks ass? Here's a guy who works in an elevator shaft. And another guy who works in a former bathroom with two urinals
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(SLO Tribune)
 
 
 
Cigarette burns down home while owner is at a "smoking cessation meeting"
source: sanluisobispo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
You know times are tough when strippers get arrested for stealing clothes from other strippers. With mug shot goodness
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Fairbanks News-Miner)
 
 
 
Fairbanks man seeks license for Alaska's first bar-in-a-moving-schoolbus
source: newsminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: Water
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Good news. The border fence is almost done. In other news; So is that new ladder factory in Nogales
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(306)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you're on trial, it can only hurt your case when you smear feces on your attorney's face and then fling some more at the jury. "That juror didn't even see it coming"
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Teenage daughters get so embarrassed when their moms talk to them in public, drive them to activities, get into drunken fights with their teen friends
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Chinese girl saw submitter's penis 12 years ago, still affected by it. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Canadian Food Inspection Agency makes another listeria recall, although the people who buy vacuum-packed sandwiches from convenience stores are probably too drunk to read about it
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Scottish police target Internet knife gangs. Click here to get STABBED IN THE FACE
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Lesbians a mystery to city MD; an easy Internet search could solve that one
source: winnipegfreepress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
The upside of losing your job due to the recession: Some panhandlers make $400 a day
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(324)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Illinois school district decides Veterans' Day will no longer be a day off. Says the kids just don't understand the meaning of the day. Whats the matter with kids today?
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip were the victims of an attempted assassination in Australia 40 years ago, but survived because the conspirators picked a log over all the actual deadly things on the continent to use as a weapon
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Doug MacKenzie)
 
 
 
"There was so much alcohol in the home that the breathalyzers used by officers recorded a .03 just from the air"
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Rabbit at rest. John Updike dead at 76
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: Fire
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Man finds out the hard way about recent changes in Canadian divorce law, ordered to pay $3,300 a month when he only makes $2,000 disability pay: "I've been given a life sentence and she's been given a cash for life ticket"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(408)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
US Mint unveils D.C. "state" quarter that features Dick Cheney sitting near a doomsday device on the back
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Douchebag decides selling "Caylee Sunshine" dolls not such a great idea after all
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Some babushka)
 
 
 
Very cool photos of Leningrad during WW2 superimposed on St. Petersburg today
source: fima-psuchopadt.livejournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
It is a slow news day, so what it is the proper way to nap?
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Sweden rejects personalised number plate reading "ADHD," presumably for fear that it might distract other drivers
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(My Fox Atlanta)
 
 
 
Bad: Your house is on fire. Good: Fire dept responds. Bad: They go to the wrong house. Good: The fire chief arrives. Bad: He has no firefighting equipment. Good: Cop neighbor summons fire fighters. Bad: The toppings contain potassium benzoate
source: myfoxatlanta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Spike)
 
 
 
Top 10 funniest Super Bowl commercials of all time
source: spike.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(Cape Cod Times)
 
 
 
Man wants to make withdrawal, tries to walk away with entire ATM machine from restaurant
source: capecodonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(News Times)
 
 
 
"Engulfed by sauce" is a wonderful when referring to hot wings. Not so much when referring to your car
source: newstimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Comic book store owner's murder conviction in his wife's death that was reversed by the circuit court due to lack of evidence goes to the Supreme Court for reconsideration. Worst. Ruling. Ever
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(abc)
 
 
 
Woman offers to sell her body for trip to the Super Bowl. Namely, her forehead
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Alcohol-related deaths are falling. I'll drink to that
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
If you take the subway in NYC, your ride is about to get a lot more interesting
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If you break up with a British prince on Facebook, he will turn you orange
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(159)
 
(Some Dude)
 
 
 
Groundhog almost gets caught in economic downturn. Fortunately, he gets to keep his job. Nice marmot
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
If you didn't think Comcast could find another way to screw up, we bring you the cable repairman who was so fat he broke a utility pole
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
It's the 121st anniversary of the National Geographic Society -- check out one of its awesome photo galleries
source: photography.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: