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Sun December 14, 2008
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
And the #1 quote of 2008 from the Yale Book of Quotations is
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
United Airlines lies to a 777 full of sick children, deceiving them about their destination for the 18th year in a row
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
For the third year in a row, someone has anonymously left hundreds of toys outside of a Virginia church. Merry Christmas, everyone
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
A homage to the unsung hero of the holiday season: the Christmas tree stand
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Nuclear power plant is home to 400 crocodiles. What could possibly go wrong?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this little guy driving a robot
source: 2.bp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
It's a sign of good luck when the horse pulling your wedding carriage bolts and drags you for a mile and a half at 30 miles per hour, and you have to jump off to save your life. So they've got that going for them, at least
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(HelenaIR.com)
 
 
 
Female firefighter fights firing for farking fellow frisky firemen, fanning flames for firehouse flings
source: helenair.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Fool the SO into thinking you really took the time to wrap the presents yourself with CrapWrap
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
New Versace hotel in Dubai finds ingenious way to deal with global warming: Refrigerate the beach
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Frugal 90-year-old woman who slept through Montana winter nights with no heat and used a sharpened broom handle to till her garden leaves $2.8 million to 11 charities after her death
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
You've just been fired. Do you A) Start looking for a new job to rebuild your life, B) Sue for wrongful termination, or C) Bust into the Christmas party and murder the CEO in front of hundreds of witnesses?
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Woman delivers baby in car on the side of the road. "I said to my husband, 'What do you mean, cross my legs?'"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Having a bad day? Meet the guy who recently has been divorced twice, house foreclosed, mobile home burned down, dog killed, business went into bankruptcy and his brother died of a heart attack. And he was killed on Friday
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Twelve poets plunge into a frigid lake to to bring attention to the world of poetry, also because "shrunk" and "junk" rhyme
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
California Highway Patrol plans celebration to announce statistics that indicate new hands-free cell phone law have reduced highway fatalities 72% since being introduced. Ponch and cookies will be served
source: ksby.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Female driver somehow crushes herself between van and ATM machine. Perhaps she lost her balance?
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
"Sen. John McCain, D-Ariz"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Wounded vet adopts her former bomb dog. Excuse me... there's something in my eye
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man injured in iron bar attack. Police say his condition is if-Fe
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Customer: Yea my cable box caught on fire and burned my house. Comcast: That'll be $88
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Faces of death, part Swiss
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Athens News-Couriler)
 
 
 
Cologne that smells like kindergarten or squirrel foot earrings. The perfect gift for the pedophile or podophile in your life
source: enewscourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SanDiego UnionTribune)
 
 
 
San Diego neighborhood to military base: GTFO. Military response: We were here first, n00bs
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Homophobe sentenced to homoprobe
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
An attack was made on the President of the United States, but the shoeter was quickly apprehended
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Parents fined $60K for failure to supervise rapist son
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Things to make with vegetables beside tossing them in salad
source: blog.craftzine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Bush spending his last precious days in office doing his best to screw Obama
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
As demand falls, collected recyclables pile-up at centers making them look like junkyards
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Basque separatists hate trains, say the ETA on new rail link is never
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Staying up til the wee hours of the morning working on behalf of the city you're in charge of? Yup, that's a curfewin'
source: fe13.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chicago Museum of Science and Industry dares to teach the controversy, secures Harry Potter exhibition to educate all the boys and girls in witchcraft and wizardry in a scientific setting
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
A third of Australian men under 50 use the razor's edge on their highway to hell or big balls every month, presumably for a chance to fire their guns and sink the pink
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Listen, if you dont want to be stabbed again, play the right guitar chord you retard
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Maine-iac)
 
 
 
100,000 Mainers in the dark after ice storm. Many are also without power
source: wlbz2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Woman complains because she was photographed by newspaper while drunk and so could not give proper consent. Girls Gone Wild points, laughs, passes out half-naked
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
Mitch Albom has a few parting words for the Senators who squashed the auto rescue
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Indians 23, Pirates 0
source: fe3.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
The German government has lost over 300 top secret files over the last 10 years. They're so secret, in fact, that they don't even know what they lost. Talk about unknown unknowns
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Students as old as 18 could be forced to wear hats to prevent lawsuits against schools. In other news, subby plans to sue the government because he got sunburnt on their property
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(tmj4)
 
 
 
Headline: "Strange Odor Lingers Over Region". C'mon, I know the Packers have stunk recently, but that's just mean
source: todaystmj4.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
There are three types of drivers in mall parking lots during the holiday season: stallers, stalkers, and circlers. You know which one you are and you should be ashamed of yourself
source: pantagraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Headline: "No taint seen on Prez-elect"
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Arson blamed in fire at Sarah Palin's church. Arson, presumably, is Palin's estranged son
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Submitter doesn't own a car, microwave, or television. What other "necessities" do you find you can live without?
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop these arid archeologists
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
The Illuminati were real, and influenced young Beethoven -- including his "Ode to Joy." Oh, snap
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
New Zealand police hunt tree poisoner, vowing they will find that son of a beech and throw his ash in jail
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Pics from the annual 'Santa Speedo Run.' Submitter will save you the trouble - click on 7, 14, 19, 20, 21; maybe on 5, 23, 33; and not on 9...definitely not on 9
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Sat December 13, 2008
(Reuters)
 
 
 
What could be dumber than blowing $900 million in a casino? How about suing the casino for it
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Ugandan President thinks they are taking too many holidays, need to develop super weapons...wait, what?
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
YOU: gun may have for me, BUT I : HABE PIZZA FOR YOU HA
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KDKA.com - CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Jeweler plays Secret Santa by leaving packages with a piece of jewelry around the city. Bomb squad paniclarity in 3...2...1
source: kdka.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The 12 biggest douchebags of the year. Yes, this is from a serious media outlet
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Latest trend among idiots? Spiking their friends' drinks with ketamine
source: women.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Nagasaki board of education ordered pupils to take part in "hot classroom test" in August to see if they could survive summer heat with only five electric fans to cool them off
source: yomiuri.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
"I do what the cockerel would usually do, only with my finger. It is like an orgasm for the chicken." Cockerel
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Rochester D&C)
 
 
 
Suspicious death investigated on Electric Avenue. Eddy Grant wanted for questioning
source: democratandchronicle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KHOU Houston)
 
 
 
Your dogs begin dying. Is it because A. You have 42 of them, B. Your 42 dogs are kept in a 5 x 9 foot cage, or C. The UFOs circling your house are killing them
source: khou.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this vertical verification
source: shorpy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
A man's guide to buying lingerie as a Christmas present. Or, "Do you know how much money I spent to get you to look that cheap?" (SFW)
source: women.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Cow nose ray exhibit re-opens. How they fit the rays up there I'll never know
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Meatpacking giant answers nervous ranchers"
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
The Federal Reserve refuses to disclose recipients of $2,000,000,000,000.00 in emergency loans
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Pravda)
 
 
 
I haven't the slightest idea what you are talking about, so here's a picture of the world's smallest cat in a drinking glass. Happy Caturday
source: english.pravda.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
When Santa Claus gets a parking ticket, The Sun is there (pic)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Near frozen sea turtle recued in Cape Cod just in time for Turtleday
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Women attack couple using pink stiletto shoes as weapons. What a bunch of heels
source: dailypost.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Photoshop)
 
 
 
Photoshop this friendly grocery
source: img213.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman found not guilty by jury for writing bad checks. Florida: judge sentences her to 55 years in prison anyway
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Gal)
 
 
 
San Diego flips the hell out over predictions of winter storms with temperatures in the 60s and an inch of rain. The entire Northeast snorts derisively
source: 10news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Homeless busker who won £85,000 on a TV talent show says fame is pointless...and he wants to be a homeless busker again
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bitten and Bound)
 
 
 
Carla Bruni never seemed to mind seeing her nude images splashed all over the universe. Now that she's first lady of France, she's apparently had a change of heart
source: bittenandbound.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
County orders blind veteran to drive his six year old to school
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Man says his cat shot him by mistake
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Germans oppose plans to redevelop former Nazi holiday camp, citing need to keep sunloungers free of towels
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slashdot)
 
 
 
Shaggy, a two-and-a-half-year-old reindeer who lost his horns, is still able to perform shows this year thanks to a wig made of rabbit pelts and the antlers he shed last year. No word if it's stapled on (with pic)
source: idle.slashdot.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man who killed and cooked wife while high on pot seeks new trial, recipe
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Large crowd expected to compete for the coveted 'Golden frying pan' at this years Chumuckla Redneck Christmas games mullet toss
source: pnj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Don't make Marvel Comics angry, Mr. Rumsfeld. You wouldn't like them when they're angry
source: blog.wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Giant garlic cloud engulfs the south of England: Things haven't been this bad since the French invaded in 1066
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you're going to claim Medicare ob/gyn expenses for yourself, it might help to be pregnant, but it's absolutely critical that you're female
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
A Stockholm library is in trouble for refusing to let a woman check out more than two books because she's Dutch
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Man convicted of rape after DNA from the victim's dog feces was found on his shirt. Judge sentenced him to three life terms because this was his turd strike
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Not news: Group of doctors makes calendar for charity. News: A naked calendar. Fark: A children's charity
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Court rules what Farkers already knew: it's not a problem for women to have large boobies
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
China introduces "pyjama police" to crack down on people wearing nightgowns on the street. That's laceist
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Lost in translation: Hooters opens franchises in China under the name 'The American Owl'
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
If your MySpace page describes your boyfriend as "my rock, my best friend, my lover, my soul mate and my all" and you "couldn't imagine a day without him", you get to harvest his sperm. After he dies
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Horlick among victims of Bernard Madoff's giant Wall Street Ponzi scheme. What's a Horlick? See the pic
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Michael Jackson auditions for Zorro: The Gay Blade II
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Family questions why sheriff's deputy shot and killed their dog, didn't realize that naming their dog Ammo would have consequences
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Two FBI agents dressed like skinheads barge into an anti-racism rally. Hilarity ensues, followed by typical FBI douchebaggery
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Officials upset because Amish prove they can build good houses without paying bribes or homage to building inspectors and the nanny state
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
More and more crazy people believe their lives are being documented. The viewers are eating this up
source: projo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Man who's definitely not just some crackpot from Utah with a bunch of followers who think of him as a prophet predicts nuclear explosions over Christmas will prevent Obama from becoming President
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Firefighters called to rescue 73-year old man who got his pole stuck in a pipe
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
When people get shot at your funeral you know you are a total badass. Or at least know you *were* a total badass
source: fe30.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
After microbes refuse to go away on dictator's demand, Zimbabwe now blames cholera epidemic on Britain
source: english.aljazeera.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Just cleaned your windshield with washer fluid? You might fail a breathalyzer test
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Bomb explosion at bank kills one cop. Apparently he didn't get exactly four gallons into the jug
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cute Communists
source: omfo.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV)
 
 
 
After being catnapped by neighbors, court orders Merlin the cat to be returned to his rightful owners for a very special Caturday
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
U-Fail
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Not news: City commissioner arrested on corruption charges. News: Mayor of same city arrested on corruption charges next day. Fark: Unrelated crimes
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Disabled boy can keep his pony over objection of neighbors. Council: "While you have to enforce the rules, there are times when you have to...remember that you're a human being and have some compassion"
source: network.nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Get up, go to work, come home to find a drunk woman on your roof asking for beer. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KPTV-Portland)
 
 
 
When veering off the road to mow down a deer standing in a clearing, make sure the deer is real first
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toledo Blade)
 
 
 
Radio show host gets stabbed in road rage incident then fires off profane e-mail to station's news director for not covering the story. Show mysteriously canceled shortly thereafter
source: toledoblade.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Due to a paperwork error, there is no speed limit in Scotland
source: thefirmmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hero dog takes three bullets, one in the head defending family from intruder and never stopped attacking intruder. Your dog is a pussy
source: kwtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian soldiers add donkey brigade to Afghan mission. Bonus: comments by self-proclaimed "ass-master"
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US nabs Columbian drug lord Montoya. No sign of Fezzik or Vizzini
source: fe9.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
The most popular man at the nudist colony: located
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Fri December 12, 2008
(NBC Chicago)
 
 
 
Record. Breaking. Uterus.
source: nbcchicago.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If your wife says she will withhold sex from you if you set off fireworks this holiday season....do you?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Greek rioters complain that police are firing 30-year-old tear gas canisters at them, and they don't like it. "We found tear gas canisters dated from 1981. The old chemicals make us sick, people have trouble breathing"
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KABC-7)
 
 
 
L.A. Bentley driver has a lead foot, arm, chest, head after freeway shooting
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Thieves steal 1,620 pounds of steaks. Police say such cases are rare
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WHDH)
 
 
 
Boston parking offenders can now pay their tickets with toys... NO LITE-BRITES
source: www1.whdh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News 10 ABC Sacramento)
 
 
 
Next time you see someone who's not breathing, just remember what you saw on reality tv
source: news10.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Man decides to pick up some Christmas presents, namely a seesaw for his kids, by stealing them from preschool playground. You betcha alcohol was involved
source: heraldtribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Not the crime, but the cover-up: TSG weekly mugshots
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
In Australia you can name your child Nevaeh and Narnia, but not Gummy Bear, Coca Cola and King John 1
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The News & Observer (NC))
 
 
 
New England to New Orleans: STFU, noob
source: newsobserver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
You must be smoking crack if you force a cop off the road while driving around with drugs in your car
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Mystery surrounds "Batman of Sheffield" who always wears a mask and speaks in fake American accent. "At first we thought he was a joker, but he turned out to be a true superhero"
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Subby was just in the shower and had one of the larger WTF moments of my life. DIT w/pics
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop these costumed competitors
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
There's nothing quite like starting your day with a sewage geyser erupting in your front yard
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
New study finds magnet-swallowing is linked to autism. Was previously considered a bipolar disorder
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
When you're getting out of your car after leading police on a low-speed chase, remember to leave your machete in the vehicle
source: edmontonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Bloke)
 
 
 
Oldest British brain discovered, made into a pot pie and consumed with a pint
source: 24hourmuseum.org.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
News: Rescue operation to free passengers from stranded car ferry. Not news: ferry crosses a river on a cable, and is only feet from shore. Fark: passengers now stranded on shore, because they don't have their cars
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Zimbabwe has introduced new $200 million and $500 million notes. Finally we can pay for our bread with a single note
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Taxpayers are livid that selfish deadbeats are rewarded with better mortgages for making irresponsible decisions
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
You know it's a Canadian University shooting when it's nothing but firecrackers and it's thwarted by snow. Twice
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Protip: Don't return to the crime scene and try to hide behind that big screen tv you just tried to steal
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
New Orleans freaked out by mysterious white powder
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
Fark Modmins, I've never prayed to you. I do not have the tongue for it. I ask only that you post my Christmas video, The Carol of the Christmas Pickle. If you can not do this, then...PRETTY PLEASE
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
New film called "The Black Candle" shows how Kwanzaa is celebrated around the world. Subby is waiting for "Grab My Pole", the Story of Festivus
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's not that Hollywood is *out* of ideas, exactly...more like the ones they have are really weird. LGT a list of scripts and plot synopsis rejected in 2008
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
YouTube video shows Maryland girls laughing at armed robbery
source: wbaltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
If you've made a purchase at the Malmö Toys 'Я' Us and paid with your debit card, You 'Я' Boned
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
With no more important problems to solve, Kansas City makes it a crime to feed Canadian geese in city parks
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Doctors warm against tainted cocaine. Symptoms include fever, chills and sore throats -- oh, and cocaine addiction
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
Cardboard warehouse on fire. Perhaps not the best choice in building materials
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Police: "something interesting found in Caylee's grand parent's home". Not expected to be a parenting handbook
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Why the world loves Homer. Not the Odyssey guy, the other one
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Successful fail: Trying to stay warm, homeless man accidentally lights self on fire with candle
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
Brilliant scientists make wonderous discovery about the effects of sarcasm
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Blair House: Yes, Presidents-Elect traditionally stay here, but you can go elsewhere, you attractive and successful African-American
source: politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Old report: Philly schools spent $124 million on school books but students didn't have any. New report: The books are there. It's just that nobody can find them
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chicago Tribune sets up a poll to pick the name of the Blagojevich scandal. Surely Farkers could do better than the choices they came up with. Voting enabled
source: blogs.chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
G.M to North America staff, please take the month of January off
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WZZM 13)
 
 
 
Bowling Ball - Check... Bowling Shoes - Check... Colostomy Bag - Check
source: wzzm13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Cape - Gazette)
 
 
 
46 percent of women and 100% of submitter's wives prefer the Internet to sex
source: alleyinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Woman accused of grabbing a cop's groin area and pulling and twisting it, which isn't as bad as it sounds once you see her mugshot
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Q: Why would Farkers ever tune into Dancing with the Stars? A: Stevie Wonder competes
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Choose Life. Choose a job. Choose getting on a 6:30 train with an 80 pint barrel of beer. Choose drinking all the way to London. Choose getting into a drunken fight. Choose your future. Choose life
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The accused: "This loose hot dog, over there, and this side, packaged hot dog, you know? Packaged hot dog. This is not open. You know? And down, a hot dog, put it." The judge: "Not guilty." Dog America bless
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Playboy courts controversy by featuring virgin on front cover. The Sun is there
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
German affinity to bureaucracy: Winni has to pay TV fees because he is a "non-registered adult individual". So far so good but "Winnie" has a fur, four legs, hunts mice and is a bloody cat
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Parking protestor)
 
 
 
Prolonged prohibited police patrolcar parking practices in Portland perturb popular personality . Previous perpetrator punished. Patched parking procedures possible
source: koinlocal6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Venetian mealtime toast
source: de.trinixy.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Times)
 
 
 
Vatican forbids designer babies, allows Prada shoes
source: washingtontimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
FCC commissioner: World of Warcraft is a "leading cause" of college dropouts
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Calling in false alarms to your local fire station is not advisable. Especially if you are one of the firefighters who works there
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Note to self: when planning a robbery, visiting a website called "Six Easy Steps to Committing Armed Robbery" will probably land you in PMITA prison
source: wkyc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
The family that slays together, stays together
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Russian businessman trademarks ;-), says he really wanted to trademark Not safe for work but was beaten to it
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
59 year old Hasidic Jew in trouble for ordering in some kosher 13 year old breast meat
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wonkette)
 
 
 
Psychologist suggests Blago's hair helmet was first sign of trouble, possible location of missing WMDs
source: wonkette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
WWJD? He'd party his face off in Bethlehem, PA. Fark Party Final Reminder
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Nation)
 
 
 
If you go on a whizzer and get a tad squiffy (if not starkers) with cougar bait, then expect to be a little rumpty-tumpty the next day
source: thenation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
If your creche needs a camel, here is how to mod your dog
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
"I literally grabbed my boot and put it in my crotch, then got the boot laces and tied it to my thigh, so it would not flop around. There was about two inches of meat holding my leg on." We need 9 more Hero tags
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ninth up, third from the left, that's where
source: geenstijl.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
♫ ♪ On the Twelfth day of January, my true love gave to me ... a divorce, finally ♫ ♪
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Truman man wanted for soliciting boy for sex. The only question is when we find him, Dewey beat him?
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Time)
 
 
 
Time magazine invites people to vote for 25 choices for 2008's Person Of The Year before they pick Barack Obama regardless
source: time.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Boston bans cigahh, hookah bahhs
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
News: McCain campaign sells off everything from campaign-- including a $20 Blackberry loaded with email addresses and phone numbers for former staffers. FARK: They sold it to an investigative reporter
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
As people buy thicker mattresses their dogs have a harder time getting into bed with them. The solution: Pet stairs. (with 'awww a puppy' pics)
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
"All over the country families are being fleeced for their two minutes with a bored man in a red suit. We spend hours queuing up at stores with fighting kids, just so we can step inside a grotto held together with tape"
source: mirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Frog farm in Singapore urges visitors to come and enjoy its 6,000 strong 'bullfrog orchestra' perform before they are cooked and eaten
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this uplifting scene
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Suicide jumper saved by the 54th annual Christmas Ship Parade
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
New study finds elephants live longer when they aren't trapped in dirty, tiny cages with bratty kids throwing rocks at them all day. Wetness of water to be studied next
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Bettie Page goes tits up
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Thu December 11, 2008
(Yahoo)
 
NewsFlash
 
If you guessed UAW as the entity that would hose the Auto Bailout, step up and claim your prize
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
The biggest, brightest full moon of 2008 will be on Friday because it's closer to earth than it has been since 1993. Scientists say we can expect increased ocean tides and 'Dumbass' tags
source: news.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Whenever your girlfriend or wife nags you to put down the toilet seat again, you can just show her this article
source: fe28.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Teacher tells children the truth about Santa Claus. (Warning: spoiler in article)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
What is the point of busting a brothel in a heavy tourist area if you don't tip off the local media for full photo and video coverage?
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WJZ.com)
 
 
 
Man happy to get back his canteen from 63 years ago when he served in World War II. Although he wasn't as happy to find no whiskey in it
source: wjz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Neither rain, nor snow, nor gloom of night. But sheer laziness and gross malfeasance? Oh yeah, the Philly Post Office is all over that, tossing out your first class mail by the ton
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Attention parents: a man claiming to be a children's underwear market researcher just might be a child molester
source: dispatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(KEYEtv.com - CBS Austin)
 
 
 
Peace on earth, good will toward men...except when your brother's dog chews up your Christmas presents and you shoot at him (the brother not the dog)
source: keyetv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Teacher busted for showing his class "Krush Groove," a 1985 movie about the early days of rap and hip-hop
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Outraged parent gets Sherman Alexie's latest book banned from school library because it contained "a reference about masturbation, and that it's ok and no big deal"
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Great Falls Tribune)
 
 
 
Nearly two percent of all railroad cars in North America are currently parked idle on a 50-mile stretch of track in central Montana, presumably awaiting ominous "Phase 2"
source: greatfallstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Canada recalls blue Stilton cheese because of listeria contamination, warns consumers not to eat it because it's no gouda
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Caylee Anthony's body found
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
It turns out the failing economy was able to succeed where Bloomberg, Giuliani, the FBI, and legislation all failed: Famed strip club Scores to close their doors for good
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Illini)
 
 
 
"Naked clowns and nerd sex"
source: media.www.dailyillini.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PhotoSig)
 
 
 
Photoshop this leaf
source: photos.photosig.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Idahoan)
 
 
 
Man tries to break into house, is scared away by woman in her 90's. Woman calls neighbor for help, neighbor follows man, man calls police to say he is being followed. Man is arrested. Ta Daa
source: idahostatesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some vertical smile)
 
 
 
People who smile in their online profile photos usually have more friends. Also, people who show cleavage usually get more gifts
source: readwriteweb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Your car won't start. Is it: A) the battery, B) the ignition, C) the thousands of nuts a chipmunk stuffed under your hood?
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Belgian police arrest "al Qaeda legend." No, not that one, the other one, no the other one, no it's.......some lady
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
It just wouldn't be Christmas without a "Scared of Santa" slideshow. #22 will haunt submitter in her dreams tonight
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Today's state-issued phone number on medical cards that takes you to giggling female voice saying "hey sexy guy" brought to you by Tallahassee
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
You know you have hit bottom, when thieves target you for your tuna sandwich and four beers
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Friends of (expletive) wife of Gov. Blogojevich say (expletive) transcript of her (expletive) profanity-laced conversations don't (expletive) represent who she really (expletive) is
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Chicago Sun-Times reporter says Blagojevich may claim the insanity defense because he came up through the Chicago power structure and doesn't know right from wrong
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Government advertisements linking methamphetamine use with rape, prostitution, patricide and rape make Australian teenagers four times as likely to try the drug
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The pope, wearing priceless jewels and carrying a staff made of solid gold, condemns global financial system as "self-centered, short-sighted, and lacking concern for the poor"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
"Santa Claus will take you to hell"
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
USA Today publishes the most corrupt states in the nation. Who takes the top spot? Well, let's just say your Buffalo wants 90,000 dollars in unmarked bills
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Apparently, some people still need to be reminded not to draw attention to themselves while carrying drugs
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Reports of an armed man and detonations at Universite du Quebec in Montreal
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
The current bid for the rights to publish the first pics of Ashlee Simpson's baby is ... Zero
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
Escapee from a North Korean prison labor camp explains that it's more horrible that you could ever imagine. Unless you live in Cleveland
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Michelle Malkin)
 
 
 
Here they are: the 32 pro-bailout, anti-free market, hemp-pants wearing, tofu-eating, disco-dancing, Harry Potter-reading, America hating Republicans who voted "yes" on the bailout
source: michellemalkin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some white powder)
 
 
 
First you get the sugar, then you get the power, then you get the women
source: princeton.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Pro Tip: Don't lie about your name to police when it's tattooed on your neck
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Dear Israel, If Iran nukes you first we'll nuke the shiat out of them. But they have to like totally nuke you and like kill everyone before we respond. Good luck and have fun. Yours truly, Barack Obama
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Man loses handcuff key, calls police to unlock wife from their bed. Apparently was unaware that a locksmith would have avoided a police report that could end up on Fark
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TwinCities.com)
 
 
 
Not news: Kids try to toilet paper a house. News: Man uses night vision to catch them. Fark: He then squirts them with fox urine
source: twincities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Anti-vaccine idiots may have Jenny Mccarthy representing them but the pro-vaccine movement gets Amanda Peet. Advantage: pro-vaccine group
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
You can expect a lot of gang violence in your city if one gang is called FOB and the other is called the FOB Killers
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
When you list $1 million as "cash out miscellaneous" in your bankruptcy filing, you can expect your creditors to be suspicious, Michael Vick
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
After Jan 1, it will be illegal to have indoor furniture on your porch or in your yard in Albany GA. The times, they are a changin'
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Europe's Weird Ways at Christmas: Santa's Little Slave Helper in Holland, 7-foot-tall horned devil in Munich, & Fecal Figures in Catalonia
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Coke dealing college girls giggle and make jokes while cops lead them away in handcuffs. "OMG, are you guys serious?"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Robbers: Think twice about committing a crime when there's snow on the ground. Or at least don't head right home
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
At the UN climate negotiations, poor countries will reduce their emissions if rich countries pay for it. And we're talking poor countries such as Singapore and Kuwait. Wait, what?
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
CNN's idea for for DIY Holiday Gift: Love Box. "Step One - Cut a hole in the box" curiously absent
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Barack Obama's transition team is all "NASA, what's up?" NASA is then like "GTFO" So Obama's team is all, "WTF?" NASA: "I told you GTFO, you don't know shiat"
source: blogs.orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
Humane Society of the U.S. is apparently helping bomb-throwing radicals raise money. Your dog wants an actual "humane" society
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Patagonian tribe faces extinction. Outerwear supply dangerously low
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Think Progress)
 
 
 
Europe may crumble because Germany's economy and bad planning is forcing it to take bold action. 1932 called and wants it headline back
source: yglesias.thinkprogress.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
If you must have rat poison at a child-care center, it's not a good idea to store it under or behind a piece of play equipment
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
For some reason or another, Mom gets a little upset when snowflake brings home "The Book of Bunny Suicides" from the school library
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Man wins court battle to prove he isn't dead but gets stuck with court costs. "I am already beginning to wonder whether or not I would have been better off staying dead"
source: iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Signing Santa)
 
 
 
Kid wants a Ferrari for Christmas, gets a toy car from a dealership. On his list this year: Shrink ray with "reverse" option
source: disaboom.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sheboygan Press)
 
 
 
Sheboygan city council grants a city residency permit to a delightfully named sex offender
source: sheboyganpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
The Mumbai story is losing steam, quick think of something. Got it: What if Mumbai happened here?
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Sky News)
 
 
 
♫♪♫ Shot through the eye ♫♪♫ some girl's to blame ♫♪♫ she gave archery a bad name ♫♪♫ [w/x-ray goodness]
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(I Heart Chaos)
 
 
 
Most Christmas cards suck, so here's some from IHC that you could send to your grandmother. If you hate your grandmother that is (NSFW - some nudity)
source: iheartchaos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
If you absolutely must indulge in some harmless groin massage, please don't do it next to the public swimming pool; it will only lead to confusion, and charges
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Daily Mail tackles unlikely sex symbols, from Jeremy Clarkson to Boris Johnson. Bonus hilarity: "A man can be downright ugly and still be attractive if the rest of his package scores highly"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Warning that nut allergy 'hysteria' serves no purpose other than inspiring numerous Fark headlines
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Remains of a child found in wooded area half-mile from home of Casey Anthony's parents
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Foreclosures dipped 7%. That's good. But it may get worse. That's bad. Or it could be a sign things are okay. That's good. The toppings contain potassium benzoate
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
NewsFlash
 
Obama held press conference today. Said things. THINGS
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsLite)
 
 
 
Animal charity workers and firemen spend hours trying to rescue a plastic owl from a telegraph pole
source: newslite.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
The numbers are in and this year pirates earned more than the total GDP of the Marshall Islands
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pencak silat takedown
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Shopkeeper fights off knife-wieldings robbers by throwing hot tea in their faces. Awesome, totally awesome! All right, Patel!
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Every day is Christmas in Santa Claus, Indiana. Every day is also Suicide Watch day in Santa Claus, Indiana
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Astronomers have found a hot planet that is retaining water, can only observe it three weeks out of the month because it gets unbelievably biatchy
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Confused Texans)
 
 
 
Blagojevich says "I'll resign when it snows in Texa----what? Oh, you gotta be kidding me" (bonus Texas snowman pics)
source: beaumontenterprise.mycapture.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Thieves drive through a store's front door for the second time in two weeks. Is the Kool-Aid Man going to sue them for gimmick infringement? OH YEAAAAAAAAAAH
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Kim Jong Il visits a cosmetic factory, hopes to find some makeup that complements his Chanel jumpsuit
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Old and busted: FBI top 10 fugitives. New hotness: EPA top 10 fugitives
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If you've ever had a burning desire to slap a total stranger in the face with a salmon, then today could be your lucky day
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Right on cue, LA Times publishes Xmas pet gifts, including a wedding cake for your dog. Your dog wants an ironclad prenup
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Pittsburgh school districts to re-design grading structures based on a minimum 50% grade, even with no attendance. Pennsylvania school trifecta now in effect
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Owner of big cat who bit Santa comes forward with vaccination records just in time for Caturday
source: 620ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WWSB ABC 7)
 
 
 
Space shuttle expected to leave Edwards Air Force Base for central Florida, arrive in Arizona, New Mexico, Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and Florida
source: mysuncoast.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Mugabe says cholera outbreak that threatened hundreds of thousands has been stopped. Just like AIDS
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Palm Beach Post)
 
 
 
Man wins court ruling to have his monthly $2000 alimony payments stopped because his ex-wife is violating terms of their divorce by cohabitating with another woman. In a prison cell
source: palmbeachpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Police discover that cracking down on knives helps to reduce knife crime". There's a Pulitzer in this reporter's future
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Massachusetts asks federal government for a billion dollars to dig a tunnel under Boston. Hey, it worked once
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
When a book reviewer describes the author as "that literary turd" and says he would rather slow grill his kids "on a bed of live pederasts" you know it's going to be an epic smackdown
source: blogs.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NewsBusters)
 
 
 
November 8: "Obama met with Governor Rod Blagojevich earlier this week to discuss it." December 10: "KHQA has no knowledge that any meeting ever took place." Well, isn't that something
source: newsbusters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Today's top legal tip from your friends at Fark. If you have to attend court to face a drink-driving charge, don't wear your "Miss Wasted" T-Shirt
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Grandmaster "Big Chucky" may face two-year ban from the world of chess for . . . doping?
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these Chuck Norris action jeans
source: lookpic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Guy tries to rob driver depositing checks in drive-thru ATM; driver speeds off. High-speed chase ensues, but not in the order you might think
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Religious groups jump at LoJack's offer to install free theft tracking systems on Baby Jesus in their nativity scenes. Three wise men will be equipped with Garmin navigators programmed to the OnStar of Bethlehem
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Man dies after shoveling sand during 'apprenticeship tryouts' where 900 people competed for 28 jobs. The remaining 899 are feeling a little better about their chances
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Riots, arson continues in Athens. Doesn't anybody know how to put out a Greece fire?
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Fetish club sues another for stealing business. If they're lucky it will be a painful legal process
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man says his former landlord used a NASA computer to ruin his credit, fake the moon landing
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Attractive high school teacher sleeps with male student. New hotness: In a parked car, in front of her other students at a house party
source: wbir.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Police called to investigate 4- to 5-foot-long broken tree limb reportedly frightening residents of local apartment complex
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Boston councilor on FBI photo of him accepting $1000 bribe: "This looks Shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few Shops in my time."
source: fe14.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Arkansas Times)
 
 
 
Teenaged Arkansas school shooter is all grown up, seeking a permit to carry a concealed handgun
source: arktimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salon)
 
 
 
Thanks to the recession, Bush is back. No, not that one, the other one
source: salon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Stunt man accused of stealing jewelry from neighbor's home. Escapes police by running through a window, jumping across an alley to another building, and leaping onto the side of a passing helicopter, all while on fire
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Teenager screams the title of his favorite David Spade TV show at Detroit Police while pointing a cocked shotgun at them; police oblige
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
No, no, is not bribe, is just "fortune happy money bag"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 188: "The Eyes Have It". Details and rules in the first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 


Wed December 10, 2008
(Some Pyro)
 
 
 
"Sometimes you just have to wonder what some people are thinking"
source: sfexaminer.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Girl is picked on at school, comes back and lets loose with an AK-47. Nah, just kidding, she's suing everyone
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Nanny State finally loses it completely: prisons told to be nicer to inmates, dim the lights at night, please don't slam the cell doors and, oh, could you please get me a cup of tea? There's a good screw
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Man known as Santa Bob busted after agents find 19 marijuana plants growing on his farm, more than a pound and a half of packaged marijuana in freezers, and about 33 grams of hallucinogenic mushrooms. Now we know how his reindeer fly
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
You know times are tough when an average guy can't afford to power his 650,000 Xmas lights so he has to sell the original spaceship from Forbidden Planet to pay the bills
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Kung-fu squirrels battle it out in South Africa. Ninjas unavailable for comment (with pics)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this stuffed crawler
source: pics2.picvi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Lego-church built of quarter of a million bricks for Christmas
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Survey reveals that 92% of women like to "go solo." Meanwhile 100% of men admitted to pleasuring themselves, 17% of them before the survey was even completed
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Boston veterinarians re-attach cat's face possibly removed by a car's fan belt (w/pic and super important Google map showing you where Boston is)
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Headline: Study Reports Anal Sex on Rise Among Teens. Actual Story: A couple of 20 something women had anal sex and didn't like it
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Honey was there a dead man in our house when we left Friday?
source: newsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
NPR staff, programming cuts expected to affect up to one dozen listeners
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
US commandos accidentally launch an attack that kills six Afghan policemen and wounds another 13. Unclear at this time if the troops involved were special forces or "very special forces"
source: fe8.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC Augusta)
 
 
 
Protip: If you steal a computer password to change your grades, don't change them from Fs to perfect scores minutes after receiving the grades. And it's probably not a good idea to give yourself a grade for a test you didn't take
source: nbcaugusta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Woman, 19, stabs boyfriend, 35, when he won't give her some early morning sex. With dual mug shot "goodness"
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Ur acct is closd, wuts ur SSN plz? Thx
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
NYC subway cars to become more pick-pocketer and sketchy-perverted-groping-dude friendly
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WGEM)
 
 
 
It just doesn't feel like Christmas until the first news story about a crook stuck in a chimney
source: wgem.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Festivus pole to be displayed at Washington capitol. Let the airing of the grievances begin
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Stylish Brits reckon THIS man has the best haircut in the UK
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Nine out of the top ten cars stolen in the USA are made in the USA. Yay, Detroit
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Marketwatch)
 
 
 
More Americans believe in the Devil, Hell and Angels than in Darwin's Theory of Evolution
source: marketwatch.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Negative advertising has come to car sales: Savannah Ford dealer launches a "you know what? Fark Toyota, they suck" ad campaign
source: fe18.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Omaha man loses a race with train while trying to cross bridge. Also fails to win a Darwin Award nomination. Wil Wheaton not impressed
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(OK Magazine)
 
 
 
Kids are so busy at school thesedays they don't even have time to chew pencils. So some rubber-head develops...the pre-chewed pencil
source: ok.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In a suprising reversal of the Nanny State, UK Police start giving machine guns to pensioners
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Pilots want to ban cockpit recordings from being "public entertainment." In other news, people are entertained by any use of the word "cockpit"
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Aiden, Emma top list of most popular baby names. Zuma Nesta Rock, Bronx Mowgli, and Ce'Andre fail to make list...again
source: today.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
A scientist has invented his idea of the perfect woman - a female robot. Yes, he's as nerdy as you imagine and no word if she has guns in her jumblies
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
One-fifth of the world's coral is already dead. That's quite atoll
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CBS 46 Atlanta)
 
 
 
Honolulu freeway covered in: A) Tourists B) Lava C) Women's underwear
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
The Big Picture presents 30 pictures of Gitmo; look, they have sports, school, their own rooms, mock trials, church; it reminds me of my first year of Law School
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man drives into dealership, rams five vehicles with his truck, drives through front entrance, urinates on more cars and commits an 'indecent act' while drinking champagne. The Aristocrats
source: burlingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(ABC News)
 
 
 
Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. is "Senate Candidate #5" who offered $1million for Obama's seat
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
One third of teen boys and one quarter of teen girls are pedophiles
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
I'm having a gammelfleischparty in my lederhosen. Wanna come?
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
How are Italian wine and American Beer like making love in a canoe?
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
London's Can-of-Ham tower to be erected on small strip of land located next to the Prince Albert-in-a-can Tube entrance
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Suspicious powder sent to Sarah Palin...EVERYBODY PAN...Wait, it's in Alaska? Nevermind. Resume daily activities
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Christmas in the south: "Bourbon balls and pecan confections are as much a part of our holiday as Christmas pudding and crackers are to y'all"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Audience applauds the spectacular special effects at play unaware it was actually a prop error and an almost fatal wound
source: mailonsunday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Jack in the Box burger named most unhealthy fast food value item in America. McDonalds of course sees this as the perfect time to claim they offer "wholesome, balanced menu options"
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fun: Losing your virginity on a class trip. Funner: Accidently texting your dad about it, thus ending said class trip. Funnest: Having your classmate leak your photo to the interwebs to complete the story
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Top ten reasons why top 10 lists are out of control
source: dailynewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Atlanta police push for end of Citizen's Review Board. Board pushes for end of the police shooting old ladies and lying about it
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Details of nine current scams and the suckers who fell for them. Paying five dollars a month to access free content suspiciously absent
source: rd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Robber:"Show me the money." Clerk: "Show me the weapon."
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
The next group of whores to hike their skirts for a Congressional injection: The Airline Industry
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(CNBC)
 
 
 
Guess who lost another $10 billion? How'd you know it was AIG? You're good at this game
source: cnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Redding.com)
 
 
 
KFC girls strip, take bath in sink used for cleaning dishes, then post the photos on their MySpace. Smaert
source: redding.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
New process detects HGH in urine. Many athletes reportedly pissed
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some states are finally cracking down on those asshats who drive slow in the left-hand lane
source: articles.moneycentral.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Just hours after ribbon cutting ceremony, brand new jail uses its crime fighting powers to bring high speed chase to an end
source: rockdalecitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Harvard Crimson)
 
 
 
Harvard announces staff cuts due to loss in value of its endowment, from fifty skadillion dollars to merely eleventy gajillion billion million
source: thecrimson.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Comedy Central)
 
Video
 
Jon Stewart to Mike Huckabee: "When did you choose not to be gay?"
source: thedailyshow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Nashua Telegraph)
 
 
 
Judge admits double standard, reduces woman's sentence for having sex with teenage boy due to his "raging hormones"
source: nashuatelegraph.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Christmas is evil, and if Muslims even look at a Christmas tree, they're going to Hell. And Muslim Hell has even more pineapple insertion
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How one root beer cost taxpayers $13,000
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Injured tortoise who came within a hair of being crushed to death now has a cool, new set of wheels, but his recovery is expected to be very slow
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Protip: If you're planning to "call in gay" today, make sure you live in a state where they can't fire you for being gay
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fruitcake from 1911 soon to be charged with manslaughter
source: bnd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Three quarters of the passengers on a scenic German river cruise come down with norovirus, or as they call it in Germany "brechdurchfall". Let Google translate that for you
source: harrowobserver.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Community protects nativity scene and Baby Jesus™ with hidden cameras and tastefully stashed GPS device
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(WorldNetDaily)
 
 
 
Legislation proposed to require laser-etching of every bullet, which will dramatically increase costs of ammo. Looks like the stockpilers aren't so stupid after all
source: worldnetdaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this mad dog
source: xs234.xs.to   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Yes, it's a lard-sculpter's life in the modern army
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Scampi fisherman nets a wartime mine that could have blown him into linguine
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(NBC40)
 
 
 
Santa Clawed
source: nbc40.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Parents of Army captain "fragged" in Iraq seek order of protection against accused soldier recently acquitted of his murder. Army brass assured the Neidermeyers they had nothing to fear
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Graves are illegal in Massachusetts because they are too dangerous. Open one up if you don't believe me. You'll probably find a dead body trapped inside
source: telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
At this stressful time of year, it can be helpful to make a detailed list of everyhing you need to buy: Presents, Turkey, Rocket Launchers, Tree
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Asshat mother upset her child was told to sing Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer at school holiday concert. The War on Christmas ™ continues
source: wect.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Maine's Church of the Open Bong suggest that cops go with them to pass out pot to the needy
source: bangornews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Erie boy beats off coyote with his snowboard
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
D'oh, a deer
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(Ohio.com)
 
 
 
Police say a high school employee stole from the band's bingo fund, but won't release their name-o
source: ohio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Pound sinks to record low, now worth only 15 ounces
source: business.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter